Jason Schwartzman's Cute and Funny Homage To Vine

March 27, 2013, 3:25 pm

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1.  Nowness has a new video out that's a great homage to Twitter app Vine. In it, Roman Coppola and Jason Schwartzman wax poetic about love via funny six-second vignettes. Bravo, guys.

2.  Never mind the first part of that tweet -- it turns out that Amanda Bynes really did follow her dreams and move to the city to create a fashion line! In other news, if we don't get an invite to her fashion show, we quit. [via The Cut]

3.  We'll probably be seeing a whole lot of new material of Jean-Michel Basquiat's in the next few months: Alexis Adler, an ex-girlfriend who shared an apartment with Basquiat in 1979, revealed that she still has a bunch of the artist's notebooks, post cards, painted clothes, photographs, drawings and graffiti. [via ArtInfo]

4.  Eye roll of the day (if you didn't already roll your eyes at Jon Hamm telling the internet to stop ogling his package): the Times wrote an article on the rise in books about bullying and titled it "Publishers Revel in Youthful Cruelty." [via NPR]

5.  "Monkey: Journey to the West," a martial arts and cartoon segment-heavy musical made by a few members of Gorillaz will not only open, but play more performances than any show ever at the Lincoln Center Festival in July. [via New York Times]

6.  This New York Post article on the new Upper East Side steakhouse-cum-middle-age-hookup-spot Arlington Club is hilarious, mainly because it's filled with more "men as meat" analogies than a busy night on Grindr. [via Eater]

7.  Holy shit, this "Calvin and Hobbes" bedroom is amazing. [via Laughing Squid]

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How Khaleesi Got Her Dragons Back

March 28, 2013, 7:30 am

≫ Next: Shrub Your Shoulders at GoldBar

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Game of Thrones + How Stella Got Her Groove Back = How Khaleesi Got Her Dragons Back. Whoopi Goldberg cameo on GOT, anyone, anyone?!. [via Hyper Vocal]

And, speaking of Game of Thrones, holy shit Peter Dinklage was "Wake Up Guy" on Seinfeld! [via Uproxx]

Mad Men's Lost Season: The Castro Years. [As seen at the Lorimer subway stop]

Mr. T was in Chicago the other night and made this hockey goal from center ice at the Blackhawks game. [via Buzzfeed]

Love this turtle getting his back scratched with a toothbrush. [via Coin Farts]


Hot Steven Colbert. Never forget. [via 100 Years of Lolitude]

Presented without comment, Actresses Without Teeth Tumblr. [via Buzzfeed]

This looks fun. [via F Yeah Dementia]

The Walken Dead by Hanksy. [via Pop Culture Brain]


It's almost Easter, y'all! [via The Clearly Dope]

Shrub Your Shoulders at GoldBar

March 28, 2013, 12:17 pm

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One does not sashay into a nightclub with the hope of indulging in captivating, well-crafted cocktails. When a DJ spins, the glass in hand is as much an accessory as the evening's requisite bling. Yet at Little Italy hotspot GoldBar, head bartender Tim Cooper's drinks are the center of attention. Before the stiletto-heeled party gals arrive, sit amid ornate chandeliers, oil paintings and shimmering skull-lined walls before ordering one of Cooper's concoctions, like the frothy Shrub Your Shoulders with Colorado-made Spring 44 gin, egg white, lemon juice, club soda and his own vibrant winter citrus shrub.

While sipping a raspberry drinking vinegar at Pok Pok one night, Cooper was jolted with inspiration by the sweet-tart beverage. "I thought it would be a great way to add a different profile to cocktails," he says. So, he made a Whole Foods run, bought a variety of vinegars and tinkered with them until he mastered a recipe for a winter citrus shrub with blood orange vinegar, tangerine juice, sugar and Averna Amaro. "If people are going to trust me to put vinegar in a drink, I feel it's necessary the flavors aren't over the top," he points out. The tangy and ethereal Shrub Your Shoulders, Cooper adds, "is just a nice play on a fizz, but a bit more complex and layered. It comes out looking like an orange Creamsicle, starting orange at the bottom and gradually turning white at the top--and it actually tastes like one."

There are a number of reasons to splurge on dessert before dinner. With Chinatown soup dumplings just a short stroll away, this is one of them.

2 oz. Spring 44 Gin
*1oz. Winter citrus shrub
¼ oz. lemon juice
Egg white Club soda
Long orange peel garnish
Served tall
*12 oz. blood orange vinegar
10 oz. tangerine juice (throw in skins after juicing)
12 oz. sugar
1 1/2 oz. Averna Amaro

Place all ingredients (except Amaro) into a saucepan. Turn heat to medium and stir until sugar is dissolved. Turn heat down and let simmer for 15 min. Turn off heat and let cool. Strain into a non-reactive container. Add the Averna amaro. Pour into a bottle and store in fridge to mellow for a few days before using.

*Ingredient optional

Nick Cave's "Heard NY" Wants You to Dream Again

March 28, 2013, 1:00 pm

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Through March 31st, artist Nick Cave is taking over Grand Central Terminal's Vanderbilt Hall with "Heard NY," a twice-daily performance featuring a heard of student dancers from the Ailey School who graze and dance through out the station donning Cave's raffia-covered horse Soundsuits. Presented in conjunction with Creative Time and MTA Arts for Transit, the performances, held at 11 a.m. and 2 p.m., are free of charge and open to the public. We talked to Cave about his inspiration behind the project and the beauty of transforming an everyday environment into an imaginative one.
 
What drew you to Grand Central Terminal for this project?
I always wanted to bring this current project to New York, but I wasn't really thinking about when it would be or the location. Creative Time was interested in doing a project with me and they were connected to MTA, and this just happened to be an opportunity that fell into place.

And you previously did this project at North Texas Universsity, too, on a much larger scale.
That was a project that was initiated when I was invited to do a residency at North Texas State with the music department, the art department and the dance department. So they were responsible for executing the work and the music department developed the soundpiece and then the dance department performed the piece.

When did you first start making your Soundsuits?
The Soundsuits started in 1992 and they were in response to the L.A. riots. What I was interested in then was how they really just brought description to Rodney King's identity and I was thinking, 'What does that look like to me as a visual artist? What does it feel like to feel less than and discarded?' I started to look at materials that fit a response to that. The first Soundsuit was a twig suit. I was in the park one day and I saw this twig that was sort of the catalyst for this body of work. I realized I could physically wear it and as I put it on, it was moving and it made sounds and that's how Soundsuits originated.

At that point I knew I was interested in being an artist with a conscience. It really changed my whole way of thinking of myself as an artist and my specific responsibility as an artist as well.
 
You've been making your Soundsuits in more human forms for years, but you've only recently started making them as horses. What drew you to horses?
I was thinking about this imaginary sort of state of mind, a sort of dream state. We don't seem to dream anymore. I was thinking about myself as an artist with a civic responsibility and I was thinking, 'What can I do to jumpstart that way of thinking? To get us back to our dreams and thinking about how we function in the world?' I think when we have that as part of our daily mindset we tend to mobilize ourselves and continue to think of better ways to exist in the future and in the world.

I was also looking at early puppetry as a way of coming to shape and form. I was thinking of when you're a kid and you put a sock on your hand and then you're able to create this puppet in an instant. It's really about the same sort of concept -- you have two people and then you have a horse. It becomes this sort of moment in time when it's all about creating an imaginary world for yourself.
 
Yeah, and that idea works beautifully within the context of Grand Central with all the commuters, who aren't really paying attention. 
Exactly! People are just moving through. If there's anything I can do to just sort of stop them for one second to change the momentum or just alternate their day in an inspiring way, that's really what this project is all about.
 
What have been some of the more memorable responses to the horses in Grand Central?
What is so amazing is the abundance of people that are coming. It's been terrific. The audience participation in the performance along the way has been really, really extraordinary and it's great for the dancers from the Alvin Ailey school. The kids are just completely having the time of their life. It's amazing.

Tell me a little bit about how you constructed the horse Soundsuits.
The foundation of the horses is out of a nylon netting structure that lays on top of a brown cloth and the surface is all synthetic raffia. The masks are textiles from all around the world. So, what I wanted to there was to create a global sort of connection because each one has its own identity. I was thinking of the herd moving as a global unit. I wanted it to be subtle but sort of recognizable in the performance. Then the dancers they have really come in to their own with altruistic sense and helped support the work.

How was working with choreographer William Gill and the Ailey students on the project? Was it more of a collaborative effort or did you have strong idea of how you wanted the horses to move in the space?
It was a collaborative effort but I also wanted him to have a platform where he could establish his work. But we've worked on many projects before so he knows how to work with me. I was thinking about the whole pattern and the cycle of pattern through out the station every single day. I wanted to respond to that, that Grand Central is a hub, but it really becomes a place that's always in motion. There's moments in the station where it's so busy but then there are moments that are very quiet, so it's always in flux.

This was your first public performance taking place in an alternative space. Are you interested in doing more public performances in unexpected places?
I'm open to working with any sort of venue that helps support the work. Particularly working outside of these institutions and really bringing the work to the people, that's the most important thing. There are people who are very intimidated by museums and don't feel quite comfortable or welcome in those environments so I have to think as an artist how I can work outside of those parameters and bring the work to the world.

I wish your soundsuits were just walking around New York all the time.
Oh, wouldn't that be fabulous!

Charles Bradley is "Strictly Reserved for You"

March 28, 2013, 1:54 pm

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Daptone Records' 64-year-old signee Charles Bradley, a.k.a. the Screaming Eagle of Soul, just released this clip for his song "Strictly Reserved for You." The video's slow pacing matches the song's, with drawn-out shots of Bradley's bathetic grimace -- in a van and in a diner; in a park and in front of graffiti reading "Don't stop crying." But just before you would be moved to pity, Bradley starts dancing, and then all of a sudden he's shimmying in an orange jumpsuit before a white cyclorama. "I got the love," he sings.

How to be a Spring Break Beauty Queen

March 28, 2013, 3:00 pm

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As I watched a press screening of Harmony Korine's new film Spring Breakers a few months back, I wondered two things: One, would Selena Gomez's teen witch predecessor Melissa Joan Hart have been more successful if she'd had an on-and-off relationship with a member of N' Sync? And two, are these girls (Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Rachel Korine and Ashley Benson) ever going to wash their faces and reapply mascara?

The latter gave me a flashback to Acapulco, Mexico and the small hotel room in the Copacabana Hotel where my fellow State school Spring Breakers and I would transform from our pool-party day look (waterproof mascara, wet, salty hair, tanning oil and bikinis) to our ready-to-do-tequila-slammers-at-the-Palladium-Club night look (straightened hair, backless shirts and platform sandals). Now don't get me wrong: when you've spent the day drinking Bacardi Limón out of a 2-liter bottle of Squirt in the hotel pool you're probably not going to be too motivated to get a shower and get your "club look" together. But girls -- that's half the fun! After a few Piña Coladas and Modelos, you're willing to take makeup risks you wouldn't have the courage to take back on campus and your prep time is mysteriously cut in half. (That, or Captain Morgan makes two hours feels like 20 minutes.)

Either way, everyone wins: you, the prince charming you spot stumbling toward you in the strobe lights, and the person who wakes up next to you in the early afternoon. So to all you co-eds out there who are packing up your beer bongs and bikinis, here are some tips to remember when you're getting ready to go out to the club as my old ass is getting into bed.  

1. Bronzer is a must!
Don't you want to play up that great tan you got when you passed out took a nap by the pool? Use a big powder brush to liberally apply a nice copper shade with a little bit of sparkle, like Tarte's Park Avenue Princess, to your cheekbones, forehead and chin. Brush a little in your cleavage too, so your girls look extra perky in that Forever 21 top. 

2. Don't wash your hair.
If you haven't gone under the water, don't wash your hair! The sexy, beachy look is in and if you want to add a few curls while you wait for your five friends to cycle in and out of the shower, than your salt-air hair will hold it that much better! 

3. Keep drinking.
Taking a break from the bottle to get ready is a day drinking rookie's mistake. You could end up passed out at 8pm on the cum-stained hotel bed and made a mockery of when your friends return late night to continue the party. Make sure that a friend is doing her makeup in the bathroom while you're taking a shower so that she is always available to hand you your cocktail. 

4. Have fun.
You know that bright yellow Make Up For Ever eyeshadow that you've been trying to work in to your look? Well, now's the time! It'll go great with your tan and everyone will be too drunk to notice if it doesn't.  

5. Keep your mouth moist.
Most of what you do with your mouth on Spring Break is your business, but just make sure you keep those lips hydrated! I don't recommend wearing a heavy lipstick as it will get smeared when you're doing body shots. But you should stuff a light, shimmery Pacifica Color Quench Lip Tint in your bra with your ID and credit card.

Vampire Weekend Is Under Fire For Igniting Used Cars

March 28, 2013, 4:18 pm

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1.  Vampire Weekend is in trouble with some Saab owners for purchasing their used Saabs without telling them they planned to set the cars on fire. (The cars, by the way, were lit on fire as the visual for their music video "Diane Young," posted above.) The most ridiculous part is that Vampire Weekend released a statement that, as Pitchfork points out, is similar to what you'd say if you came under fire for animal cruelty: "If the people selling their cars felt mislead by the production company that bought them...of course if we had been there, if we had been a part of it we would never lie to somebody just to get a car -- we could have easily found something else. Stuff like that, we hope that that wasn't done dishonorably...Rostam especially loves Saabs. When he grew up, his family drove a Saab." Is any of this that big of a deal?


2.  Nicole Klagsbrun is closing her Chelsea gallery, which has been in the neighborhood since 1998. Klagsbrun decided to close because she became tired of the gallery system: "I'm not sick and I'm not broke. I just don't want the gallery system anymore. The old school way was to be close to the artists and to the studios. Nowadays, it's run like a corporation. After 30 years, this is not what I aspire to do. It is uninteresting." [via The Art Newspaper]


3.  The California Department of Education released its new recommended reading list last week and there's already backlash for its inclusion of books with gay and transgender characters, as well as backlash to that backlash. Sandy Rios, a radio show host and Fox News contributor, has stirred up the most controversy with this little gem: "The reading lists are very overtly propagating a point of view that is at odds with most American parents. Leftist educators are advocates of everything from socialism to sexual anarchy. It's very base; it's raping the innocence of our children." [via NPR]

4.  Manhattan-based doctor Hector Castro was arrested today for being the leader of an oxycodone smuggling ring across the Northeast, whose office moved around 500,000 pills. The best detail is that Castro's office manager, who was known on the street as "Kardashian," and had her own illegal oxycodone business, of which the doctor "had no knowledge." [via Daily Intel]


5.  Black Simon & Garfunkel performing "Thrift Shop" on Fallon = amazing. [via Pop Culture Brain]

Reminder: Willie Nelson Is the Best

March 29, 2013, 7:20 am

≫ Next: Craft Beer, The Breeders and Mykki Blanco

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Willie Nelson has come out in support of gay marriage, telling Texas Monthly " I never thought of marriage as something only for men and women. But I'd never marry a guy I didn't like." Oh Willie! [AfterElton]

Oh no, here's an adorable Good Morning America segment about a tiny orphaned gorilla at the Cincinatti Zoo named Gladys. Volunteer surrogates are taking care of her until she's ready to be adopted by her new mom and they all wear fur vests and make gorilla noises for her. Ahhhh!

Love an ostrich who can accessorize. [Digg]

Zealous Preacher Bingo. [LaughterKey via FuckYeahAtheism] 

You can do it! [RatsOff]

In remembrance of Nerds Flintstones Push-Ups. Miss you. [PizzzaTime]

TKTKTK Art. [ThisIsntHappiness]

Bite your nose, bite your paw. [AfternoonSnoozeButton]

AKA to: Mom. [PassiveAgressiveNotes].

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Craft Beer, The Breeders and Mykki Blanco

March 29, 2013, 9:22 am

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Friday, March 29

MUSIC: The Breeders

For the first performance of their LSXX tour, which celebrates the 20th anniversary of the band's iconic second album Last Splash, The Breeders will be playing the album in it's entirety with the album's original line-up. We're still looking for the divine hammer, maybe we'll find it that night at the show?

The Bell House, 149 7th St. Brooklyn. 9:00pm, $20

PARTY: We Got Our Beer and Wine License!!

Raise a glass to the New York State Liquor Authority, as the Silent Barn is dry no more! Music will be provided by DJs from WFMU, WNYU and Ad Hoc.

Silent Barn, 603 Bushwick Avenue. 8:30 p.m. Free.

Saturday, March 30

MUSIC: Aputumpu Music Festival

Spanning four days, the Aputumpu Music Festival will showcase all the best up and coming Brooklyn music acts. From electronic DJs to pop-punk bands, Aputumpu will fill some of Williamsburg's best music venues with rising acts worth seeing.

Various Locations, Brooklyn. $10-30.

FOOD: The Craft Beer Festival

The Craft Beer Festival features over 150 different beer venues serving up unlimited samples of artisan alcoholic brews. With two sessions during the day (one in the afternoon and one in the evening) you'll have plenty of time to try them all.

Park Avenue Armory Park & 67th St. New York. 1:30pm and 7:00pm, $55-$135.

FASHION: Only Hearts Sample Sale

Looking to liven up your collection of Old Navy briefs with shot elastic bands? Shop Only Hearts' selection of classically feminine lingerie and "inner outerwear" at their annual tent sale where you can save up to 80% off on merchandise. 

230 Mott St, New York. 11:30am to 7:30pm.

Sunday, March 31

FILM: Girls Just Want to Have Fun

Watch Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt run around Chicago as rebellious Catholic school girls obsessed with winning a coveted spot on dance competition show Dance TV. Shannen Doherty has a bit role in this classic '80s flick as well. Could this movie be any better? Slow, slow, quick, quick, slow.

Nitehawk Cinema, 136 Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn. 12:00pm. $11

Monday, April 1

BOOKS: Lit Crawl NYC, Geek Love

Love books? Love love but can't seem to find it? Lit Crawl NYC's Geek Love night is for you. Hosted by writers Emma Straub and Teddy Wayne, this night will be filled with literary trivia, drinks, and match-making.

Powerhouse Arena, 37 Main St, Brooklyn. 7:00 pm. $15

MUSIC: Syl Sylvain + Glen Matlock (Acoustic)

Though Syl Sylvain and Glen Matlock didn't command the stage as well as their respective bandmates in the New York Dolls and Sex Pistols, the two musicians were instrumental in making sure those bands' songs outlasted their poses.

City Winery, 155 Varick Street. 6 p.m. doors/8 p.m. show. $15-20. Tickets here.

Tuesday, April 2

WORDS: Dave Bry

The veteran writer and editor reads from his new epistolary memoir, Public Apology, collected from the moving Awl column of the same name.

KGB Bar, 85 East Fourth Street. 7 p.m.

MUSIC: Mykki Blanco

Mykki Blanco is a strong force in NYC's alternative rap scene, with a fiery stage presence and snarling, in-your-face raps. Her live show at Bowery Ballroom is not-to-be missed.

Bowery Ballroom, 6 Delancey Street. 8 p.m. $15

Wednesday, April 3

MUSIC: Waxahatchee

Katie Crutchfield's latest music venture Waxahatchee is capturing everyone's attention with debut album Cerulean Salt's beautiful, acoustic melodies and autobiographical songwriting.

285 Kent Ave, Brooklyn. 7 p.m. $10

Pink Martini's Having a Sing-A-Long in Portland Tomorrow

March 29, 2013, 9:44 am

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Pink Martini's sing-a-long tomorrow (Portland's first full-fledged community sing-a-long, by the way) sounds fun for so many reasons. First and foremost, it's in Portland, so you know people will actually show up and sing their hearts out. It's free for all and songbooks and umbrellas will be provided gratis. Songs on the roster include "Nine to Five" and "Copacabana." And the musical guests include members of the von Trapp family (prepare for a few Sound of Music numbers) and China Forbes, whom I desperately hope will sing her song "Ordinary Girl," aka the theme song of the short-lived mid-90s Clueless TV show (posted below because it's amazing). "Ordinary Girl" or not, it's sure to be a gay old time with some fabulous people. Those of you who are lucky enough to be in Portland on Saturday better get yourselves there.

Saturday, March 30, at 3pm in Pioneer Courthouse Square, 701 SW 6th Avenue

Shane MacGowan and Sinéad O'Connor, "Haunted"

March 29, 2013, 10:10 am

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The Pogues initially released "Haunted" on the Sid and Nancy soundtrack in 1986, but frontman Shane MacGowan re-recorded it with Sinéad O'Connor the following decade. It's something of a throwaway: the chorus blatantly adapts the riff from "Baba O'Reilly," while the bridge borrows lines from "Let It Be Me." Barely glancing at each other, MacGowan and O'Connor display minimal chemistry beyond their shared Irish nationality. And yet, the harmonies are, well, haunting, and O'Connor's characteristically intense performance is made all the more compelling by her hair, finally starting to grow out after the early nineties.

L.A. Fashion Adds Another Stylish Notch To Its Belt With New Line HABER

March 29, 2013, 10:30 am

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With a long history in fashion design and art (and gigs at threeASFOUR and Band of Outsiders under her belt), California-based designer Heather Goldberg launched her debut collection HABER last week. Consisting of ethereal silk dresses that play liberally with length, draping, and hand embroidery, HABER's debut collection is a gorgeous introduction into the Los Angeles fashion scene. We talked to Goldberg about the inspirations behind her collection, California versus New York, and why she has a fashion uniform. 

When did you first know you wanted to start a fashion line?

I always knew I wanted to [start a line.] I moved to California from Miami to go to Otis College to study art and design, and I always knew when I graduated I wanted to start my own thing. When I graduated, I worked for a few different places but the whole time I was trying to start it.

So tell me a little about the inspiration behind HABER's debut collection?

It was inspired by the idea of making the invisible visible and seascapes. I was looking a lot at Bas Jan Ader's work. There's a piece that he did called "In Search of the Miraculous" and I was always inspired by it. He sailed out to sea in the 70's for a project and he just never returned. And then I was continuously watching, at the same time, films like La Piscine and La Collectionneuse, which are both French films about love triangles by the sea. So, it was a mixture of this romantic, moody, dark beautiful seascape inspiration.

And why the name "HABER"?

Haber is the name of my great-grandmother, Helen Haber, and my name was inspired by her, Heather. I just thought it was perfect. It's not my name but sort of is historically. 

You've previously described Haber as having a sort of tomboy chic look, even though it seems very overtly feminine at first glance. What about HABER embodies tomboy chic in your words?

Yeah, I think ['tomboy chic' is] not necessarily [about] in my collection, but more the way that I feel about the clothes. Even though people think they're very feminine, I think there's that underlying tomboy feel. It's a little more playful. 

You worked previously for ThreeASFOUR and Band of Outsiders. What insights into the fashion world did you gain from those experiences?

I interned at ThreeASFOUR my second year of school and I was always in love with them; they were like my dream come true. Being there also solidified to me that I wanted to do my own line. They were very independent and doing their own work. Band of Outsiders was totally different but when I was there it was a lot smaller, and that also helped me realize I wanted to start my own line and have my own business rather than be with a huge company. 

So you've worked in both New York City and Los Angeles, but have chosen to make California the place where you launched Haber. Why LA and not New York?

I was always obsessed with California and that's why I wanted to go to school here. It's interesting when I look back because I don't really know why I was obsessed with it. I wasn't interested in going to New York, which is strange because it's so much closer to Miami and it's so much more fast-paced. I didn't even want to go to Parsons, I don't even know why. It always made sense that I could still do [my fashion career] here. It's interesting because towards the end of school, LA started to actually be taken seriously as a place for high-end design and what I wanted to do. It was perfect timing. I love it here.

Who are some of your favorite LA-based designers or where are some of your favorite places to shop in LA?

I'm the worst person to ask that because I never go shopping, like, at all. [Laughs]

A designer that doesn't go shopping!

I know -- it's funny because I don't care about what I wear, I just want to make things.

So do you make a lot of your own clothes?

No, not really. I don't know why I don't. I make some things, but sort of randomly. 

What's your typical personal uniform then?

It's funny you say uniform because I'm sort of obsessed with the idea of wearing a uniform as a designer. The head of fashion at OCAD, Rosemary Brantley, always wore white or black men's shirts, and I always wanted to do that. So every day I wear this one black, button-down men's shirt that I wear as a dress and it's actually my boyfriend's. His dad gave it to him and it's like my uniform. Especially for any photos or interviews -- I always wear it.

I feel like that's the mark of a serious designer, having a uniform. You're already ahead of the game!

It's like I'm already an icon! [Laughs]

Easter Bunny Pre-Game

March 29, 2013, 3:00 pm

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In this weekly column, MC/DJ Hesta Prynn pairs pop culture stories with an original playlist.

'Tis the season for some to gorge on candy and others to abstain from carbs. Yes, spring has sprung, and the big Judeo-Christian holidays are in full effect. There are so many baskets of chocolate to deliver and so many glasses of Manischewitz to drink, it can overwhelm. It got me thinking about how the holiday characters who shoulder these massive responsibilities might get psyched for the season. In this week's Five 'n' Five I pair some of our favorite religious (and not so religious) holiday characters with their pre-game theme songs.

1. The Easter Bunny - "I Want Candy," Bow Wow Wow

It's not a big deal, but on Easter a chocolate rabbit wearing a bow tie may bring you candy eggs. Apparently dressing like you're in Mumford & Sons and being made entirely of sugar is all it takes to be worshipped by children the world over. The Easter Bunny will crank Bow Wow Wow and hop aggressively in front of a mirror before heading out this weekend.

2. Elijah the Prophet - "Shots," LMFAO & Lil' Jon

Basically the Don Draper of Passover, Elijah shows up to dinner at his leisure, speaks to no one and drinks all of your booze. How he keeps it together going door to door to all of the Jews in the world is anyone's guess. Lil Jon scores his theme song, "If you ain't getting drunk get the fuck out the club. Three wise men, fuck all that shit, get me some SHOTS!" And you thought the drunkest Jew at your Seder was Aunt Fagie.

3. Santa Claus - "I'm Ill," Red Café feat Fabolous

The quarterback of the team, Santa deserves the greatest unsung Pre-Game anthem ever. Elves play the hypemen on a braggadocious track fit for Muhammad Ali. "Now it's showtime, time to Camcord/ I'm in the building, I'm the landlord."

4. The Tooth Fairy - "Enter Sandman," Metallica

She's kind of not sure how she really fell into this job and probably not that stoked to be receiving the fuzzy end of the lollipop. The Tooth Fairy is similar to the teller at TD Bank: people give her their shit and she hands them money. She gets pumped up to metal and maybe the thought of terrorizing some kids on the DL.

5. Holy Ghost - "Hold On," Holy Ghost

Definitely keeping it on the mysterious tip, the Holy Ghost makes no appearance yet remains ultimately exalted. This weekend he'll crank to this jam by Holy Ghost (obvs) while simultaneously completely cloaking it and totally shutting it down. "And hold tight; don't say no words. And don't talk; give me no word."

The Best, Worst and Weirdest of the Week

March 29, 2013, 3:00 pm

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Best New Trend: Japanese schoolgirls are reenacting manga-style energy blasts and I can't get enough. -- Rashard Bradshaw

Most Bad Ass Supreme Court Justice: A tie between Sonia Sotomayor & Elena Kagan for schooling the anti-equal marriage side! -- Mr. Mickey

Best YouTube Discovery I Should Have Known About Weeks Ago But Only Watched Last Weekend: This mash-up of Taylor Swift's "I Knew You Were Trouble" with a paper towel dispenser. Goats were so last month. -- Abby Schreiber

Worst Dental Disaster: Patients of a Tulsa, Oklahoma-based oral surgeon may have been exposed to HIV and hepatitis due to sanitation violations. -- R.B.

Most Interesting Interpretation of Spring Breakers: DJ Pangburn's meditation on the bloated American Dream and how Spring Breakers comments on it. Whoa. -- Max Kessler

Most Rock Star-Style Pundit: Marcia Coyle of the National Law Review for her breaking down the issues on PBS Newshour. -- M.M.

Best Passover Snack: I'm pretty confused about what is or isn't kosher for passover, but I'm pretty sure these avocado oil potato chips, unlike soy-fried alternatives, make the cut. If not, I hope they're at least healthier. -- Jonah Wolf

Blog That Best Mimics Our Gestalt: Des Hommes et des Chatons, a Tumblr dedicated to excruciatingly hot guys and cats. -- A.S.

Grossest Sex Metaphor From Lil' Wayne's New Album: "That pussy boneless/ That's Chik Fil-A." -- A.S.

The Book That Was Hardest For Me to Put Down This Week: John Green's The Fault In Our Stars. I read it in one sitting last night and really did find myself laughing out loud and crying. Great book. -- M.K.

GIFS on GIFS on GIFS!

March 29, 2013, 3:10 pm

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Welcome to our Friday GIF roundup, featuring a collection of this week's most important, amusing and/or newsy GIFs and GIF sets by Mike Hayes of BuzzFeed and GIF Hound.

Marriage equality...in 3-D. (e x t r a c r i s p y)

How to eat chocolate indefinitely... (Tastefully Offensive)

A variation... (The Frogman)

I love you, hologram goats. (thedorseyshawexperience)

In a word: Dinklage. (Comedy Centrl)

Whoa. (Awkward Elevator)

And just remember... (tbh)

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"Clarissa Explains It All" Is Becoming A Book

March 29, 2013, 3:22 pm

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1.  There will be a Clarissa Explains It All book. Titled Things I Can't Explain and written by show creator Mitchell Kriegman, the book will follow Clarissa post-college. We'd read that, but probably out of morbid curiosity. [via Lara's Book Club]


2.  The New York Times warns against the increasing price of works of art: "Hundreds of collectors [that were active before] have been priced out of the market, and with them, a pool of connoisseurship is evaporating. Collecting, once within the reach of thousands of buyers with modest means, has become a rich man's hobby."

3.  Here's an IKEA-style, assembly required vibrator called aptly named "GÄSM" [via BoingBoing]


4.  Nick Cave and Nick Cave finally meet. [via GalleristNY]

5.  Amazon bought book recommendation site Goodreads and no one is happy about it. For example, Salon wrote "a shudder went through the entire world of publishing Thursday afternoon."


6.  R. Kelly created a soundboard for "Trapped in the Closet" called "Trapped in the Soundboard." You can play brief clips of each of the characters from the hip-hopera. See you in a week. [via Pitchfork]



7.  Your favorite overpriced nightclub might be overcharging you illegally. Some very swanky clubs are under investigation for surcharges like "operations fees" and "bottle service," which are not legal in New York. [via Eater]

Director Sarah Shapiro On Destroying Beautiful Women in Sequin Raze

March 30, 2013, 9:13 am

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Sequin Raze, a new short film from director Sarah Shapiro showing this weekend at MoMA and the Film Society of Lincoln Center's New Directors/New Films series, follows a producer for a Bachelor-esque reality TV show who's tasked with getting a fragile contestant who's just been rejected by the show's male star to break down on camera. What follows is a desperate, riveting power struggle between producer (masterfully played by Ashley Williams) and contestant (played by the magnetic Anna Camp, one of Paper's 2013 Beautiful Pepole). The film, which also stars Frances Conroy and won an Honorable Mention jury award for narrative at this year's SXSW, screens today and tomorrow. (Watch the trailer above.) Below, we chat with Shapiro, who worked on a reality TV dating show herself, about the film. 

Where did the idea for this movie come from?

The germ of the idea for Sequin Raze, I legally can't say a lot about ... but it was definitely inspired by a time in my life when I worked in reality TV. But 'legally' the idea came from nowhere.

But the viewer knows immediately it's set around a show like The Bachelor.

We only had to have really one or two shots of the show and the viewer knows exactly where they are.

Where did you film?

It was a mansion in Glendale, California.

One thing that I think you see more and more of in reality television, and what I thought your film touched on well, is our thirst to see people in pain and being broken down on camera. Was that something you struggled with while you were working in reality TV?

Oh yeah. I'm a dyed-in-the-wool feminist and I went to Sarah Lawrence. I definitely found myself in a strange situation working on a reality TV show. But what I also discovered in doing it is that there's sort of a perverse pleasure in destroying really beautiful women like Anna's character. There's the feeling that they have everything, they have it all. Her character is a blonde, size zero attorney. She checks all of the boxes of being the perfect Darwinian example of a prime specimen as a species. The part of my experience in TV that I related to, and I think this is so recognizable for all women, is that tearing someone like that down can feel really good. And I think there's a meta landscape for it too, which is that the people sitting at home can feel really satisfied watching someone be torn down. It's that feeling of being at home and being the viewer and feeling that power of having the objective gaze. Or watching a contestant on a show like The Bachelor and being like, "Oh my god, she's crazy" or "she's such a bitch." And the producer character in this movie who's hiding behind the camera has the power as well. She's invisible, she's not subject to being picked apart, and she has the power to train the camera's eye and put it wherever she wants it to go. And she has the power to rip this person apart in a really vulnerable way. But that whole system, the whole ecosystem of shows like that, is created by the objective male gaze. And if all of the women stopped participating in it and unplugged from it then we'd stop having to destroy each other.

The producer in the film cries while she's trying to get Anna Camp's character to crack in front of the camera. I loved that. You're not sure if she's trying to manipulate her, or if she's crying because she's just so frustrated and wants to get this woman to say humiliating things so she can call it a day, go home and go to bed.

The producer is supposed to be at war with herself. She probably has five different layers of personalities operating inside of herself at any one time. I think she's crying because she's trying to get Anna to cry. She puts herself into this state of empathy because it's how she knows how to connect with people and it's how she knows how to do her job. The other layer is that in those environments people are just so incredibly tired. The producer has no life, she's living at work, she's eating cold pizza and is super, super lonely and she feels like shit about herself. She's crying out of exhaustion and hating herself for what she's doing. But the film is supposed to be ambiguous, and that's one of my favorite things about it. Everyone who watches it takes a different side. Some people say, 'Oh my god, the producer is such a bitch. She's a horrible person.' And other people's takes are, 'The producer is just trying to do her job. Another day, another dollar.' I think how you perceive it has a lot to do with what your experience has been with jobs.

Above (L-R): Anna Camp and Sarah Shapiro on the set of Sequin Raze

And in one of the final scenes you see the producer unzip the hoodie she's been wearing the whole time and she has on a "keep George Bush out of my uterus" t-shirt. I think that scene speaks well to what you see with people who have double professional lives. Maybe they're working for a corporation, or they're working on Wall Street, or doing something 'uncool,' but by night they're in a band or an artist or doing something that's the antithesis of what makes them money.

And that's really normal for anyone who doesn't have a trust fund! It's a hard and inevitable part of maturing.

Do you think this short is something you eventually want to turn into a full-length film?

I think that because it's about 'a show within a show,' it would make a really great television series. TV is in such a golden age right now, that for me as a writer and director it feels like a really interesting place to be. We have a deal in place to make it into a TV show, but the deal is still being worked out. So if it doesn't come through, then I think a feature would be a great way to go with it.

How did Frances Conroy and Anna Camp get involved with the project? Had you worked with them before?

I hadn't worked with them and I still keep pinching myself. I can't believe they were in the movie. I wrote the part of Jessica with Anna in my mind, but I never thought I would get her to agree to do it. And I wrote the part of the therapist with Frances in my mind but also thought there was no way she would agree. But I just did not give up on trying to get them. I also did the film through AFI's Directing Workshop for Women, which I think helped put more of a stamp of legitimacy on it. I think that in this new world where filmmaking is so accessible, and everyone's making films, to call an actor with an idea for a short film is pretty sketchy. But mainly I was just rabid in my pursuits. I wrote Anna a crazy stalker email that I can't believe she responded to. I wrote something like, "I know everyone thinks you're a pretty face, but I can tell your heart is full of darkness. And there's something really wrong with you. I see through that blonde hair. You're just dark inside." And she called me and was like, "You know you're totally right, right?" Ever since I saw her playing this sadistic character on True Blood I've been obsessed with her. She's crazy-dark inside but also so genuine and kind. So, yeah, having Frances and Anna agree to do it and say they liked the idea for the film flattered my brains out of my head.

Do you have other projects you're working on?

I'm working on a feature and the script's already done. It's sort of The Devil Wears Prada meets Girls, but everyone has AIDS and is on drugs and doing mountains of cocaine and dying.

Everyone is dying?

Yeah. It's a very, very dark New York film.

When does it take place?

The late '90s. It's set around the fashion world in New York and everyone is gay and on drugs. So that's fun.

Before this you were working at Wieden+Kennedy advertising agency in Portland.

Yeah, I still work there. I'm technically on leave from my job but they've been so incredible. They're actually the main sponsor of the film. They've been so supportive.

Do you watch Portlandia?

Of course.

Is there really a nest in the Wieden+Kennedy office?

Yes. There's a life-size nest that you can sit in and hang out. It's crazy.

And you were also in a band called The New England Roses with JD Samson from MEN and Le Tigre?

Yeah, that was amazing. We call it a friendship band because it was more about friendship than making music. Our friend Brendan Fowler who's also in the band BARR was in it too. We made an album and recorded it under JD's bunk bed -- we would just lie on the ground and play guitars and do George Michael covers. But we're all really neurotic, which makes things difficult. We went on tour and it was just the most neurotic, OCD experience. All of us have some form of OCD and we'd be running around all dealing with our different stuff. I'd be like,"'I need everything to smell like lavender!" and Brendan would be like, "I need to talk to every single person in this room!" and JD would be like, "come on, we're going to be late!" I'm also someone who likes to go to bed early, which did not combine well with playing in clubs. So we'd get to the venue and they would make me a little bed in the back room where I could go to sleep.

Do you think you'll ever reunite?

Maybe! We all have matching tattoos so we're pretty committed. Maybe we'll start playing again in like 30 years. Well be old and saggy.

15 Celebrity Fashion and Beauty Ads We'd Forgotten About

April 1, 2013, 12:40 pm

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Have you heard? Marilyn Manson is modeling in Saint Laurent Paris' new ad campaign. (Update: so is Courtney Love!) At first we were confused, but the more we looked at the ad the more we liked it. So for all of you readers out there who (like us) have a short-term memory for celebrity campaigns but a long-term appreciation of odd pairings, we've assembled a little guide to refresh your memory.


1. Maggie Gyllenhaal for Agent Provocateur
While we wouldn't blink an eye if Maggie Gyllenhaal's character in Secretary wore lots of sexy-sex things, we weren't expecting Maggie herself to star in a campaign for haute lingerie-maker Agent Provocateur. Regardless, she werks it.
 

2. Jessie Eisenberg and Anne Hathaway for Oxy
Why isn't Get Real on Netflix?



3. Bob Dylan for Victoria's Secret
One of our favorite weird pairings of all time. Bob Dylan slinking around Venice is the opposite of pastel pushup bras.


4. Linday Lohan for Miu Miu
Oh god, this one tugs at our heartstrings. Lindsay looks so fashionable and we were still in the phase when she was slipping but everyone was confident she'd grow out of it.


5. Ashton Kutcher for Pepe Jeans
Ashton Kutcher modeled for Pepe Jeans for a while. Here he is as a sultry, rainbow-colored club-goer or something.


6. *N 'Sync for Herbal Essences

*Ntense. *Ncredible.


7. Mikhail Gorbachev for Louis Vuitton + Keith Richards for Louis Vuitton
Louis Vuitton has done an incredible job of getting high profile, unexpected men to model in its ads. We think the two weirdest have to tie -- after all, what business do an ex-president of the Soviet Union and the front man of the Rolling Stones have modeling for Louis Vuitton? They must really love those bags.



8. Joe Namath for Beautymist Pantyhose
We've always been a little turned on by these Joe Namath for Beautymist pantyhose commercials.


9. Courtney Love for Versace
We almost forgot about these 1998 Versace ads that Courtney Love did. And they were shot by Richard Avedon! Consider this a petition for Love to star in Versace's Spring RTW ads.



10. Paris Hilton and Fila
Remember when Paris Hilton was an It girl?


11. John Malkovich for TECHNOBOHEMIAN
Yes, TECHNOBOHEMIAN is John Malkovich's clothing line. 



12. Brad Pitt and Chanel
Actually, we haven't forgotten about this ad. We think about it like 3 to 7 times a month.


13. Missy Elliott and Madonna for GAP
Mostly we just wanted to post this clip because Missy Elliott and Madonna selling corduroys for the GAP is something no one should ever forget.


14. Caroline Polachek and The Lake & Stars
If you'd asked us a few years ago, we wouldn't have guessed that Chairlift's frontwoman Caroline Polacheck would turn out to be a regular model and collaborator for lingerie brand The Lake & Stars. Neither would she: she told Refinery 29 that "I NEVER fancied myself a lingerie model (and still don't!)." You could've fooled us.


15. Rihanna for Totes
Rihanna's big breakout single was "Umbrella," so she sold a line of umbrellas -- get it??

The Final Episode of The Outs Is Here

April 1, 2013, 1:50 pm

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The Outs, the beloved gay web series which we've been covering for the past year, has come to an end. As creator Adam Goldman told us back in June, The Outs was always meant to be a six-episode arch with a final, accompanying Hanukkah episode. After months of waiting -- and enough Kickstarter funds to actually pay for the to produce it -- the special is upon us. The episode takes place partially before Jack and Mitchell's breakup and partially after, and we get more background about the characters than ever before. We also see some familiar faces, like the burrito delivery guy and Oona's horrible closeted ex-boyfriend. And Alan Cumming gets yelled at in an amazing cameo! We already missed this show before we even watched the whole thing, but 2013 beautiful person and star of the series Hunter Canning assured us that the crew will be back for a new series. Anyway, we don't want to spoil anything else. Check it out above.

Win Two Tickets to Our Beautiful People Party!

April 1, 2013, 3:00 pm

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Wanna come party with our newest crop of Beautiful People at the Top of the Standard tomorrow night? PAPER and NJOY are giving away a pair of tickets for you and a guest to come sip some bubbly, schmooze with the BPs and hear an intimate performance by our cover girl, Jessie Ware.

To enter, please do the following:

1) Follow Paper on Twitter and Facebook
2) Tweet us the answer to the following question -- what's the best beauty advice you've ever gotten?
3) Use hashtag #PartyWithPaperBPs in your tweet

Sponsored by NJOY