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If Disney Princesses Were In Spring Breakers


Usually Disney princess humor makes us feel weird and old, but this College Humor Spring Breakers/Disney spoof is pretty amazing.

"Joey" Gordon-Levitt being a big dork on Jeopardy in 1997. [TastefullyOffensive]

pigeonburrito.jpgCeci n'est pas une burrito. [Memewhore]

tumblr_mjzn2bQYnW1rjcfxro1_400.gifFine, high five. [LaughterKey]

tootsiewarhol.jpgAndy Warhol and Tootsie, photographed by Greg Gorman. [JuliaSegal]

Ballerina chop! [AfternoonSnoozeButton]

Screen-shot-2013-03-23-at-6.48.16-PM.jpgGreat deal. [PleatedJeans]

tumblr_mjcy4wmoVP1qlkzfuo1_500.gifEnough sloths to tide you over for the next few hours. [FYeahDementia]

tumblr_lwa82quFEy1qd303fo1_500.jpgCool cats. [PizzzaTime]

Spring Paris' Daniel Rose Heads to Momoka for Japanese

Spring restaurant_daniel_rose_1.jpgEach week in our new Off Duty series, we'll talk to some of our favorite chefs and industry folk around the country to find out their secret late-night spots where they like to grab a bite and a pint when their kitchens are finally closed. Next up: Daniel Rose, the American-born, France-based chef/owner behind Paris' celebrated innovative, seasonally-focused restaurant  Spring.

Where do you like to go eat when you're leaving Spring?

I go to this place called Momoka on Rue Jean-Baptiste Pigalle. It's Japanese home cooking by this woman named Masayo. It's really teeny tiny -- only 14-16 feet. You feel like you're in Tokyo suddenly [when you're in there ] but there's still something Parisian about it. It's not far from Pigalle and all that -- it's just down the road. It's off beat. [The owner Masayo] is just in there with a girlfriend cooking.

How long have you been going there?

I've been going there for 5-6 years. It wasn't far from the first restaurant -- Spring was in the next neighborhood over. I think [Masayo] came to the restaurant one day and then I went to hers. I also went there with my dad once.

momoka_chefsoffduty.jpgWhat are their specialties?

Masayo does a tasting menu -- we let her make whatever she wants. There's lots of raw fish and all sorts of neat little sauces that are not super traditional. The coolest stuff are these fun green tea cakes she makes. They're really sweet. But mostly it's about the home cooking aspect. There's something very sweet and endearing about it. As important as the food you eat is the vibe you gt when you go to the place. A lot of restaurants make good food and I'm spoiled to death because I have six guys and girls cooking all day and my wife is a chef so I eat yummy food all day but it's fun to go somewhere [like Momoka] off the radar.

What's your favorite thing to eat there?

I love anything that she deep fries -- since the place is teeny, you end up smelling like deep fried [stuff] inside. I remember once she served these pieces of baked fish I'd never heard of. In Paris, you feel like you eat a lot of the same stuff and suddenly at [Momoka] you're on another planet.

Any fun memories of meals there?

I think the first time I went there was with my dad for lunch and we ended up sitting there for five hours! Masayo kept bringing more and more food -- she's this tiny woman and kept bringing these platters of food for us. She was worried that I was still hungry or something. It was about as close as you can get to having someone like your mom cooking for you. Now I'm hungry!

Momoka, 5 Rue Jean-Baptiste Pigalle, 75009 Paris, France; Tues-Friday, noon-2:15pm, 7:30pm-10:15pm; Sun, 7:30pm-10:15pm

More From Our Chefs Off Duty Series

Toro Y Moi's New Video Is Cute Until It's Creepy


After giving us some advice on always packing light, dreamy electro-pop duo Toro y Moi are back with a new video for "Never Matter," which at first glance seems like an exercise in keeping it simple. The video starts off very cutely: we watch as a station is set up at a flea market and attendees -- some with puppies in tow -- listen to their new album Anything in Return and get their groove on for the camera. All is very cute...until the end. Then things get effing creepy. Watch for the twist above.

Our Guide to Passover In NYC

newyork_passover.jpgFor those of us in New York City without seders of our own to attend -- or who don't have the wherewithal this year to trek out to see families in Great Neck/Newton/Highland Park/Brentwood -- but who would still like to partake in some Passover festivities, there's a variety of restaurants and purveyors in New York offering everything from gourmet gefilte fish to Kosher for Passover margaritas. Scope some of our eight favorite Passover offerings below:

Mile End
Though it may be too late to place catering orders for some of Mile End's matzo ball soup, chopped liver or brisket (the last day to place orders was Friday), you can still head over to both locations to get your matzo ball soup fix and we hear their sandwich shop on Bond St. just ordered a crate of matzo that you can substitute for regular bread on sandwiches like 'The Ruth Wilensky' (beef salami, mustard), or 'Grandpa' (smoked turkey, turkey rillettes, mustard) and their smoked lamb sausage with harissa slaw and eggplant. Word is, they may even be whipping up some matzo brei at the sandwich shop this weekend.
Mile End Boerum Hill, 97A Hoyt St., Brooklyn; Mile End Sandwich, 53 Bond St., Manhattan

Kutsher's Tribeca
Kutsher's Tribeca is going whole hog (er, we should say, Kosher brisket), serving a four-course seder menu featuring items like wild halibut gefilte fish, potato latkes, grilled Romanian steak, Creekstone Farms beef brisket, schmaltz mashed potatoes and flourless chocolate cake.
Kutsher's Tribeca, 186 Franklin St., Manhattan; $85/person ($49 for children under 10)

Jack's Wife Freda
While there won't be any traditional seders, the Soho boîte helmed by an Israeli and a South African will be whipping up matzo ball soup and we hear their yummy fish balls (think a much more gourmet -- and crispy -- version of gefilte fish) may be rolled in matzo meal instead of bread crumbs for the occasion.
Jack's Wife Freda, 224 Lafayette St., Manhattan

For those of us whose first (and maybe only) introduction to gefilte fish were those gelatinous, slightly stinky mounds of fish that came out of a Manischewitz jar, there's a gourmet version made by the folks at Gefilteria that mercifully bears little resemblance to the kind found at your childhood seders. Grab one of their salmon-striped fish loafs and some of their beet horseradish and you'll be making gefilte fish converts out of even the pickiest of eaters.

Tonight, tomorrow and Wednesday, JoeDoe will be putting their own spin on a seder, hosting a four course meal that includes matzo ball soup with pickled veggies, slow roasted brisket, Passover-friendly whoopie pie and, to wash it all down, Elijah's punch featuring rum, Manischewitz, lemon, pear and apple.
JoeDoe, 45 E. 1st St., Manhattan; $65/person

Tolache/Yerba Buena
All of the Toloache and Yerba Buena outposts in Manhattan will be serving a Mexi-seder from March 25-April 2 (that is, a Mexican-inspired seder) with items like a Sabra margarita (featuring Kosher tequila, don't ya know), matzo ball soup with epazote and jalapeño scented chicken consommé, brisket tacos and matzo brei tres leches.
Toloache (various locations); Yerba Buena (various locations)

For the (reformed) Jews uptown, Telepan will be serving a non-kosher seder-style dinner tonight and tomorrow featuring dishes like matzo ball vegetable soup, arctic char, hanger steak & brisket with wild mushrooms, caramelized onions and mashed carrots, and pineapple-lemon sorbet.
Telepan, 72 W. 69th St., Manhattan; $85/person

And if matzo and seders aren't your jam, there's always the 10th annual Kosher 4 Passover Party at Hudson Terrace this Thursday, March 28.

Nick Cave's HEARD•NY Debuts at Grand Central


Paper photographer Rebeca Smeyne stopped by the launch of artist Nick Cave's HEARD•NY installation in Grand Central Terminal's Vanderbilt Hall this morning and sent over this fun little video of the whole thing in action. (Stay tuned for photos tomorrow!) Featuring dancers from The Ailey School wearing Cave's amazing horse Soundsuits, dancers are performing "crossings" in Vanderbilt Hall every day this week though Sunday at 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. and are accompanied by live harp and percussion music. Check it out in the video above.

Hear An Oral History of NYC in 1993 Via Pay Phones


The New Museum has a new campaign called "Recalling 1993" and it sounds great, especially if you need to duck into a pay phone. If you go to most of the working phones in Manhattan and call 1-855-FOR-1993, you'll hear a recording of someone -- often a notable New Yorker -- telling a story about what the neighborhood you're calling from was like in 1993. There's one involving James St. James and a murderer that we'd really like to hear. And here's an interactive map with all of the participating phones. [via GalleristNY]

2.  Here's a post-card themed teaser for Broadway Bares, which on will be on June 23rd at the Roseland Ballroom. We're excited. [via Queerty]

Screen-Shot-2013-03-25-at-10.21.42-AM.png3.  In "what the hell am I doing with my life?" news, 17 year-old Nick D'Aloisio just sold his app, Summly -- which uses an algorithm to scan news articles and spit out summaries that dispense of all the unnecessary details  -- to Yahoo for around $30 million. [via Death and Taxes]

25artsbeat-barcl-blog480.jpg4.  The MTV Video Music Awards is coming to the Barclays Center in Brooklyn. Doesn't that mean that Jay-Z has to host? [via New York Times]

tumblr_m41bvrgMHY1qlwguqo1_500.jpg5.  Jane Goodall is postponing publishing her book after the Washington Post discovered that some passages were taken from other sources without retribution. [via NPR; image via]

met-budget-admission-price.jpeg6.  Two lawyers are filing a class-action suit against the Met for making the recommended $25 donation for admission seem mandatory. While this is a completely unnecessary suit, we did learn a few things: the Met doesn't have to pay rent or income tax, and only about 11% of its operating expenses were covered by admissions charges in 2012. Who knew? [via Gawker]

Bill-Clinton.jpg7.  Something we absolutely need to tune in for: Stephen Colbert interviewing Bill Clinton on the Colbert Report. No official date has been released yet, but it will air sometime the week of April 8th. [via EW]

384799_Lily-Tomlin.jpg8.  In 1975, TIME offered Lily Tomlin a cover if she came out in the issue. She told Entertainment Weekly, "I was a bit insulted that they thought I'd trade my personal life for the cover of TIME. It's probably just as well. Being such a big TV personality at that time, it probably would have been tsunami-like." [via Greg in Hollywood]

Williamsburg, Guy Fieri May Be Coming For You


Here's a video made by the guys at Late Night Basement asking folks in Williamsburg about their thoughts on a "forthcoming Guy Fieri-owned restaurant" popping up on Bedford. Love that Vampire Weekend consulted on the menu and that it has nacho cheese-stuffed foie gras. [via Grub Street]

tumblr_m0lzybVyQt1qzot6ao1_r1_400.gifWheeeeee! [via Tall Whitney]

tumblr_mk8nxq8WTy1r0tlkjo1_500.jpgSex positive, feminist desk defacing. [via Pleated Jeans]


Here's an a capella rendition of the Game of Thrones theme song. [via Uproxx]

Screen shot 2013-03-25 at 7.48.11 PM.pngApparently going to Coachella is "so important" to Lindsay Lohan that she wouldn't agree to any plea deals that would send her to rehab before the music fest. Jail v. Coachella. Jail v. Coachella. Coachella. Yep. Makes sense. [via Radar]

Screen shot 2013-03-25 at 9.41.24 PM.pngWoo hoo! Prince Harry is coming back to the U.S. of A. to party. He's coming baaaack. Now everyone's just gotta start polishing their pool cues for some naked billiards [via DListed]

anigif_enhanced-buzz-27940-1364225513-15.gifHere's what happened when Anderson Cooper met Grumpy Cat. [via Buzzfeed]

tumblr_mjcx3xRMjp1rgw0ado1_1280-670x670.jpgSufjan Stevens went on spring break, y'all. [via I'm With Kanye]

tumblr_mk9q9nAOqN1qe0wclo1_500.jpgIntroducing the March Madness mohawk. [via The Clearly Dope]

British Songstress Jessie Ware Is Headed For Pop Stardom in the U.S.

Jesse1.jpgCape from WilliamVintage, dress by Roksanda Ilincic and jewelry by Wright & Teague.

"Don't look at me," whispers Jessie Ware. The 28-year-old singer is standing in the center of the East London studio where she's having her photo taken for the cover of Paper's Beautiful People issue. Chin up, shoulders back, thick black hair cascading over one shoulder, she looks every bit the image of elegant cool that has come to define both her style and her sound. As the camera looms an inch away from her face, the photographer and her assistants stop and stare, as if to ask, "Is she for real?"

Before they can say anything, however, Ware breaks her cool and bursts out laughing. "Like in Mean Girls!" she says with a cackle. "I'm not being serious!" Ware composes herself to explain that she was just repeating the opening line of Christina Aguilera's song "Beautiful," which the character Damian dramatically sings in the film.

"Actually, I feel a bit guilty about being on the cover of this issue," Ware says later as she sips a hot toddy in a cozy corner of a pub just down the road. "I hope I look all right. I'm worried I'm going to look really butters," she says, dropping her T's in her chummy South London accent -- an amusing contrast to the silky, subtle Sade tones of her singing voice -- which hints at her urban upbringing and its influence on her music.

There's no contesting: Ware's a beauty -- but her worry offers a telling moment of self-doubt that underscores her typically British self-deprecating sense of humor. "It's always nice getting transformed from feeling like shit in the morning to feeling glamorous and gorgeous," she says. "I'm terrible in heels though. I feel like I move so much better when I'm not wearing heels. I always revert to dancing like I'm at a drum-and-bass rave."

Ware is the latest in an ever-growing line of British female singers who, having found success in their native Blighty, set their sights on conquering America as well. Each with their own unique pop sound, singers like Adele, Florence Welch and Ellie Goulding have won scores of fans at home and around the world. The secret to their success is as much about their indisputable talent as it is their authenticity. In an industry dominated by carefully calculated female pop stars -- dressed in latex and licking lollipops as they mime pre-recorded tunes turned out every five seconds by a team of Swedish songwriters -- it's no wonder that audiences have embraced this new wave of singers from across the pond. Here is a collection of women with true talent who remain relatable in spite of their fame. They are pop stars with personality who feel as if they could also be your closest friends.

Ware's sound is a grown-up mix of slick, soulful R&B backed by down-tempo electronic beats that work together to create something wholly modern and mesmerizing. Her first album, Devotion, has already been both a commercial and critical success in the U.K. -- debuting at number five on the charts, making most of 2012's best-of lists and earning Ware a prestigious Mercury Prize nomination last year. She's hoping for the same success this month when her album is released Stateside.

Although Devotion never aims to fill dance floors, the album's songs are undeniably influenced by club tracks of eras past, employing a flurry of drum machines, hip-hop samples and '90s girl group vocals in every song. And although Ware may quote Aguilera's hits off stage, her own singing style is refreshingly restrained, a lesson in how to emote without overdoing it. The result is a sophisticated, sensual record that manages to hypnotize its listeners without ever showing off.

jessieware1.jpgRaised in a Jewish family in Brixton, South London, Ware never planned on a career as a professional singer like her former schoolmate Florence Welch (they starred in a high school production of Guys and Dolls together) or old friend Adele. And although her older sister Hannah became a successful model and actress, Ware assumed she'd stay out of the spotlight, instead aiming to follow in the footsteps of her father, BBC reporter John Ware. "I wanted to be a journalist," says Ware. "My dad is very 'current affairs' -- but I'm just interested in people's stories. I wanted to make documentaries, study somebody, find stories. I wasn't very good at it, though. I felt like I was taking the piss doing it."

Her self-deprecation is charming, but again, easily dismissed -- Ware definitely has a journalist's inquisitive nature. For every question she's asked, she's got one of her own, locked and loaded and ready to fire back. At times it was difficult to determine which one of us was being interviewed.

After earning a degree in journalism from the University of Sussex, she worked at the Jewish Chronicle in London writing the music listings. The experience of forging a separate career before singing is one that she says has been beneficial to her newfound life as a pop star. "I think it helps that I had this other life before music. It's definitely taught me that you've got to be careful with your words. I usually swear so much," she laughs. "But I'm being quite well behaved today."

"The shit that comes out of my mouth on stage is just awful...I have to get the drummer to start playing just to shut me up."

Ware was working at a media production company when her old friend, singer Jack Peñate, asked her to sing backup during a BBC radio session. Peñate is another former classmate of Ware's who was also instrumental in launching the career of Adele before her. Impressed, he asked her to accompany him on his tour during the U.K. festival season and in America.

"It got to the point where I had to quit my job because I had no holiday left to take," she says of touring with Peñate. "I only did it, really, because I was so unsure about not doing it. I wanted to have memories with my best friends and I wanted to be able to say, 'I tried to be a singer on the road in America' -- I'm so happy I did that. It was the best decision ever."

Peñate's guitarist introduced Ware to the up-and-coming producer SBTRKT, with whom she recorded her first song, "Nervous," a dance track released on U.K. indie label Numbers in 2009. After a few more standout spots doing guest vocals with other producers, a record deal soon followed. But before she could put anything out as a solo artist, Ware needed to find her own sound, conscious as she was not to get labeled exclusively as a dance vocalist. "I had to learn how to write songs," she says. "And I wrote a lot of crap songs. It's like poking around in the dark. I had ideas but nothing solid. Trial and error, really."

It wasn't until being introduced to producer David Okumu that the sound on her debut album started taking shape. "My manager met David at a barbecue. He said, 'I think you'd really get on with Jessica,' and we started emailing each other. It was kind of like going on a blind date. We traded songs that we both liked, what I was listening to, then he came to the session. He was like, 'I hope you don't mind I've started something for us.' It was this song called 'Devotion.' He played it to me and everything just clicked. It all made sense."

jessieware2.jpgAfter more than a year of promo and touring the record on her home turf, heading to America with the album seems a daunting task. "It's like I'm starting again," she says. "The majority of people in the States definitely don't know who I am yet." It may seem like starting over to her, but Ware has been steadily building an American fanbase via music sites that have championed the singer since the early days of her career. "The power of the Internet and music blogs -- The FADER and Pitchfork -- that's been so beneficial," she admits.

Now, Ware is about to embark on her second solo tour of the States. She completed her first mini-tour in January to promote her EP If You're Never Gonna Move Out, during which she made her American TV debut on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, performing the EP's cinematic standout single, "Wildest Moments," with Fallon's house band, the Roots. "I was scared I was going to mess up. I feel like I messed up my performance on [U.K. late show] Jools Holland. I was so nervous, I cared about it so much, that I forgot to enjoy it. [On Late Night], I was like, 'I'm not going to not enjoy this. This is playing with the Roots, this is an amazing moment.' When it was finished, I felt like Baby in Dirty Dancing. At the end, when she looks like such a geek."

Touring has also helped her get over her nerves and develop her onstage persona. "I used to be all apologetic for being on stage," she says. "I'm still nervous, but I've changed my act so I just chat. The shit that comes out of my mouth is just awful. It's kind of gone the other way. I have to get the drummer to start playing just to shut me up," she laughs. The crowds who pack her sold-out shows, however, seem to want more. She's also noticed that she attracts a particular fanbase Stateside: "There were so many gay men! They all sang along to my songs and it was gorgeous."

As her international profile rises, the reasons to celebrate seem never-ending. "It's wicked that people are interested, you know? I'm just so happy it's working out," she beams, a look of genuine disbelief on her face. "I mean, I started at 23 or 24 as a backing singer and thought that that was quite old. To be my age and have a chance to do this is... I feel like I've had a stroke of luck."

Just then, the waitress reappears and, despite a live performance on BBC Radio One tomorrow, Ware orders another round. "Fuck it," she says brightly. "We're drinking tonight. Let's have some wine."

Styled by Avigail Collins at Silver Spoon Styling / Hair by Halley Brisker at Jed Root /
Makeup by Maxine Leonard at Jed Root using B. Makeup / Manicure: WAH Nails / Stylist's
assistant: India Trusselle at Silver Spoon Styling / Photographer's assistant: Simon Wellington
Photographed at Complete Studios in London

GoogaMooga Is Baaaaaack

Screen shot 2013-03-26 at 1.13.08 PM.png
Despite a hiccupy, refunded debut last year, Brooklyn food and music festival GoogaMooga has worked through all of those withering tweets with its therapist and will return to Prospect Park May 17th-May 19th. A third day has been tacked on to this year's lineup, featuring eats from 85 restaurants and performances from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the Flaming Lips, Matt & Kim and Sharon Jones and the Dap King, The Darkness, Jovanotti, Father John Misty and De La Soul. GoogaMooga's also partnering with WORD and Housing Works Bookstore Cafe to feature Café GoogaMooga, a tented area with a stage that will include appearances from a yet-to-be-announced lineup of celebrity-chef authors, critics, novelists, graphic artists and poets.

Tickets to Friday's concert with Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Flaming Lips and The Darkness, as well as tickets to a "VIP Cocktail Experience" on Saturday, May 18 and Sunday, May 19, will go on sale Thursday, March 28 at 12 p.m. EST. Complimentary general admission tickets for Saturday, May 18 and Sunday, May 19 will be available in an online giveaway running Monday, April 1 through Wednesday, April 3.

For tickets and more info, go to googamooga.com. Food, drinks and the music lineups are listed below.

FOOD (Starred vendors are new to this year's General Admission ticket. Food is priced a la carte.)

Back Forty*
Beecher's Handmade Cheese*
The Big Banana
Big Gay Ice Cream
Blue Marble Ice Cream*
Bromberg Bros. Blue Ribbon Fried Chicken
Brindle Room
Brooklyn Soda Works
Burger Joint
Caracas Rockaway*
Char No. 4
Colicchio & Sons
Crawfish Monica®
Crif Dogs
DBGB Kitchen and Bar
Dinosaur Bar-B-Que
Dirty Bird To Go
Do or Dine
DuMont Burger & Shakes
Fatty Cue*
Free Bread
Gwynnett St.*
Hill Country Barbeque Market
Jeffrey's Grocery*
Joe's Pub *
Joseph Leonard
Juice Press
La Newyorkina
Liddabit Sweets
Little Muenster
The Lobster Place
Luke's Lobster
M. Wells
Maison Premiere*
Max Brenner Chocolate Bar*
Melt Bakery
Mile End
Mille-Feuille Bakery Cafe
Miss Lily's*
Momofuku Milk Bar
Mother-in-Law Kimchi
Nom Wah Tea Parlor*
Northern Spy Food Co.*
Num Pang Sandwich Shop
Pat LaFrieda Meat Purveyors*
People's Pops
Pig & Khao*
Pok Pok Phat Thai*
Pork Slope*
Red Hook El Olomega Pupusas
Red Hook Lobster Pound*
Roberta's Pizza
Rosemary's Enoteca and Trattoria*
Salvation Taco*
Saxelby Cheesemongers
SlantShack Jerky*
South Brooklyn Pizza
Sun In Bloom*
The Meat Hook
The Meatball Shop*
Third Rail Coffee
Tia Pol
Toro (Boston)*
Umami Burger*
Vinegar Hill House
Willow Road*
Wooly's Ice

100 Wines with...
Acid Inc.
Austrian Wines
Banville & Jones
Blue Danube
Ca' del Bosco
Champagne Campaign powered by Corkbuzz
Charles Smith Wines
Defend Australia
Fausse Piste
Forlorn Hope
Gotham Project
Hess Family Estates
In Pursuit of Balance (Sandhi, Lioco, Wind Gap)
Jerez O Muerta with Carla Rzeszewski
Jose Pastor Selections
Kermit Lynch Wine Merchant
La Paulèe de Brooklyn with Daniel Johnnes
Louis/Dressner Selections
Mouton Noir
Red Hook Winery
Schneider Selections
Summer of Riesling with Paul Grieco
Terry Theise Estate Selections
The Infinite Monkey Theorem

75 Brews with...

21st Amendment
Alphabet City
Blue Moon
Blue Point
Bronx Brewery
Brooklyn Brewery
Captain Lawrence Brewing Co.
Crispin Cider
Dogfish Head
Empire Brewing Co.
Fire Island
Greenport Harbor Brewing Co.
Heavy Seas
KelSo Beer Co.
Magic Hat
Sam Adams
Schlafly Brewing
Shmaltz Brewing
Sly Fox
Southampton Publick House
Smutty Nose

COCKTAILS (VIP Cocktail Experience Only)

Saturday, May 18, 2013
Booker & Dax
Dead Rabbit Grocery and Grog
Flatiron Lounge
The Nomad

Sunday, May 19, 2013
Clover Club
Death & Co
Pegu Club
Pouring Ribbons
The Library at The Public

Friday, May 17, 2013

Yeah Yeah Yeahs
The Flaming Lips
The Darkness

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Matt & Kim
Father John Misty
Sharon Van Etten
Lee Fields & the Expressions
Red Baraat *
Pearl and The Beard *
Jonathan Batiste *
Lady Rizo *
Banda de los Muertos *

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings
De La Soul
The Soul Rebels
Delicate Steve
M.A.K.U SoundSystem *
The Hot Sardines *
Marcelle Davies Lashley *

* Notes artists curated through a Partnership with Joe's Pub at The Public Theater.

Slava Heads to Cyber Space In "Werk"


Brooklyn-by-way-of-Chicago (by way of Moscow) producer Slava is gearing up for the release of his debut LP Raw Solutions (out 4/23) and, to tide fans over, has just dropped the video for "Werk." Set to the song's pulsating house beats and heavy synths, the video shows Slava crunching numbers inside an office (complete with an assistant who looks like she could be straight from an Opening Ceremony lookbook serving him vodka on ice -- how Mad Men) when suddenly the boundaries between cyber space and real life get blurred. The DJ appears to enter the virtual reality he's been tinkering with on his computer and is joined by writhing dancer-gymnast cyborgs leaping, twerking and lunging along the Information Superhighway. The whole thing gives us hyper-stylized Nadia Comaneci-meets-"1984" Apple commercial vibes. Watch it above.

Raw Solutions is out 4/23 via Software

Pop Roulette's "Stuff From The '90s!" Parody Is Perfect


Think about all the fun stuff that came out of the '90s: scrunchies, Dawson's Creek, Dunkaroos, the L.A. riots...uh, wait a minute. This funny video by up and coming NYC-based musical sketch comedy group Pop Roulette perfectly parodies how young adults' love for '90s nostalgia  romanticizes a decade where not everything was a super-cool fun time full of funky squiggles, pink flamingos and hamburgers (we're actually just naming things featured in the Saved By the Bell intro). Check it out above.

Jim Carrey And Eels Spoof Our Dumb Gun Laws With New Song


Despite some mediocre films lately, man is Jim Carrey one of comedy's OGs. We'd nearly forgotten how funny this dude was until we came across this recent video he made for Funny Or Die spoofing Charlton Heston and our country's asinine gun laws. Joined by the band Eels (of all people), Carrey plays both the late actor and Lonesome Earl, the singer of a country band called the Clutterbusters (played by the alt rockers dressed up as Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln and a groovy John Lennon type). As Earl, Carrey sings a little ditty called "Cold Dead Hand" on late-'60s/early '70s-era Hee Haw featuring lyrics about Heston's penis such as "you're a big, big man with a little bitty gland."

Dick jokes aside, apparently Jim Carrey is very, very serious when it comes to the topic of gun control. Just ahead of the video's release, he tweeted the following:

Screen shot 2013-03-26 at 4.14.21 PM.pngAnd this isn't the first time the comedian has tweeted about guns -- he was particularly vocal after the Newtown massacre about his distaste for assault rifles. But although his tweets reach over 10 million followers, it was smart of Carrey to switch tactics and take his opinions elsewhere. Even though many people -- ourselves included -- are inclined to agree with Carrey's views on gun control, it's a slippery slope before Twitter rants make a person sound like that crazy old man muttering expletives to himself at the bus stop. That said, Jim Carrey in character as a crazy old(ish) man muttering expletives (or singing about gun control)? Comedy gold. 

Every Sex Metaphor on Lil' Wayne's New Album



Today, a week after his release from Los Angeles' Cedars-Sinai Hospital, Lil' Wayne officially released his tenth studio album, I Am Not a Human Being II an eclectic hodgepodge of ideas including nü-metal, dubstep and Green Day. What is perhaps first noticeable, starting with the album's second phrase, is Wayne's recourse to convoluted, repetitious or just disgusting sex metaphors.

For this survey, we've included similes as a subset of metaphors. These include both comparisons involving sex acts ("I stick it in her ass like some fucking steroids") and Wayne's trademark use of the word "like" to play on a word's different meanings ("She about to blow me like a signing bonus"). There are two plays on "blow," and two on "brain" -- themselves instances of metonymy to describe fellatio. The verb "ride" appears six times, to the point where Wayne just starts listing different equidae: "Ride this dick like a horse, pony, unicorn."

Despite arguments that all language is metaphor, we've omitted Wayne's direct descriptions of sex (e.g., "She even did anal when she don't do anal") but have included guest rappers' contributions as well as metaphors in the conditional ("Hope her ass feel like a cushion").


"She said my dick could be the next black president"

"Lettin' all these hoes ride my dick, car pool"

"And last night I took a transformer/ And had a dream that my dick turned to Megatron/ But my girl was sleeping with Decepticons"

"P-U-S-S-Y, my second home"

"I be grindin' on them hoes like a half pipe"

"Then I make her take this dick like advice"

"I stick it in her ass like some fucking steroids, Jose Canseco"

"90 billion bitches on my stick like a skewer"

"I got her over here blowing me like coffee"

"Just want some mouth and lip service"

"That pussy boneless/ That's Chik Fil-A"

"Your bitch ride me like a go-kart, I play that pussy like Mozart"

"She about to blow me like a signing bonus"

"She say, 'I didn't know your dick was a recliner'"

"She gon' ride this dick like the Kentucky Derby"


"Call her AK when she squirtin'"

02. Curtains f. Boo

"I got her workin, twerkin and slurping my serpent"

03. Days And Days f. 2 Chainz

"And yo main girl is a ho, I go Wayne's World in her throat/ She swallow so many nuts, you fuck around, find a squirrel in her throat/ I go tapeworm in that ho, let my snake squirm in that ho"

"Deez nuts, that's baggage claim"

"And if that pussy sweet, I want that candy, trick or treat"

"I hit her with that shovel dick, I got in that pussy and dug a ditch"

05. No Worries f. Detail

"And if she make this dick hard, she woke up a sleeping giant/ Man your bitch speak in tongues every time we speak in private"

"Give me brain, ideas"

"Now take your fucking clothes off, let me see that Donkey Kong/ I swing your ass back and forth, back and forth on my monkey bar"

"I would talk about my dick, but man that shit be a long story"

06. Back To You

"She ride me like a drive-by"

"My dick is her chair"

"My third leg run marathons"

"Ride that dick, no speed bumps, no red lights, no stop signs"

09. Rich As Fuck f. 2 Chainz

"These hoes want that hose pipe, so I give all these hoes pipe/ She get on that dick and stay on all night like porch lights"

"I eat that cat just like a lion"

"That pussy feel just like heaven on earth/ Six feet deep, dick shovel in the dirt, R.I.P. -- Rest In Pussy"

11. Bitches Love Me f. Drake & Future

"These hoes got pussies like craters"

"She said my dick feel like morphine"

"She wake up, eat this dick/ Call that breakfast in bed"

12. Romance

"I stand up in that pussy like a sunroof"

13. God Bless Amerika

"Bitch sit on my rocket"

14. Wowzers

"My tongue is a uzi/ My dick is a AK"

"Give her head like a brim"

"I hope that pussy smell like a violet/ I hope that pussy warmer than luke and sweet as Godiva/ Suck this dick and swallow that nut and call it penis colada/ Lift up that mini-skirt/ That's my dinner dessert"

"Down here waiting for her to come like payday"

"My tongue is a motor, my dick is a NASCAR"

"Dick head like a bullet"

"Hope her ass feel like a cushion"

"I hope that pussy tastes like pudding"

"Got a sweet tooth, candy yam pussy/ I'm-a leave that ass smoking like a Amsterdam tourist"


"This pussy so clean, like soap in your mouth"

"If that dick like a tree, watch me build a treehouse"

"I stay on that dick like a fucking balance beam"

"My mouth a jacuzzi"

15. Hello

"Don't worry I'll be back/ If her pussy like crack/ She got a nice rack/ And that apple bottom, bite that Apple like Mac"

"'Cause I'm-a wear this ass out like a uniform/ So ride this dick like a horse, pony, unicorn"

17. Hot Revolver f. Dre

"Girl, when I think of you my dick just start to jumpin' like a fucking kangaroo"

18. My Homies Still f. Big Sean

"We don't feel you like an elephant gettin' fucked with a tick dick"

"Before I fuck this bitch I gotta put that patch over my third eye, Slick Rick"

"She give me brain, research"

Jon Hamm Wants the Internet to Lay Off His Wang

tumblr_mkabbdcwTb1qejocno1_500.jpgJon Hamm tells Rolling Stone that he is sick of the Internet talking about his un-underpanted package. A highlight from the story, out March 29th: "A Tumblr called "Jon Hamm's Wang" has been posting photos for over two years, but Hamm doesn't seen the humor. "They're called 'privates' for a reason," he says. "I'm wearing pants, for fuck's sake. Lay off. I mean, it's not like I'm a fucking lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my cock, I feel like that wasn't part of the deal ... But whatever. I guess it's better than being called out for the opposite."


Ryan Gosling in all of Warby Parker's frames. You really know how to treat an Internet right, Buzzfeed.

enhanced-buzz-30993-1364326029-8.jpgExcellent DOMA protest sign. [Buzzfeed]

Elton Dog is our new favorite dog. [FuckYeahDementia]

tumblr_mka1l3Qchm1r9ynhlo1_500.jpgPee-wee Merman by Hanksy.

tumblr_mk9yhaLUEk1rm0m7po1_1280.pngTrue. [ParisHiltonSexSlave]

Hello fartness, my old fart. Prolific handfarter HandFartMaster has done it again with this superb cover of  "The Sound of Silence." Fart Fartfunkel would be proud. [LaughingSquid]

tupacbday.pngTa-da. [FYouNoFMe]

tumblr_mk76ibECD31qz6f9yo1_500.jpgNo self control. [ThisIsntHappiness]

tumblr_mg7y8oF0sH1ql2603o1_250.gifNight night. [AfternoonSnoozeButton]

10 Etsy Picks of the Week: Pizza Nail Decals & More


These pretty wallets are available in natural or black leather and printed with copper foil. 

This pretty, light-weight scarf looks like a water color painting and makes a damn good headband. 

This adorable stamp will turn a boring blank envelope into a more sophisticated letter carrier. 

This unique, wooden make-up organizer keeps all your favorite lipsticks, pencils and eyeliners easily accessible. It seems like a much better alternative to the way we store our make up (a.k.a. throw it all in one drawer.)

Well, cause, we do do whatever we want.

Get witchy with this bad ass vintage pentagram ring. 

An eye-popping, colorful tassel keychain that definitely won't get lost in our purses.


This pretty journal feels like something a Wes Anderson character would own and write in a lot so obviously we need it. 

We love that this denim clutch covered in doodles looks like it was ripped straight from a high school notebook. Slayer 4-Ever!!!

Ghosts, PBR, AND pizza on your nails? These nail decals are making our nail art dreams come true. 

Premiere: Lewis Watson's "Little Darling"

lewis watson.jpgFor those familiar with Birdy, the teenage singer-songwriter whose cover of Bon Iver's "Skinny Love," helped propel her career (and bring her to the PAPER offices for a kitchen session!), Lewis Watson seems like her analagous male counterpart. Like Birdy, the super young (he's only 20-years-old) England native got his break after uploading to YouTube videos of himself performing covers of Bombay Bicycle Club's "Swansea" and Tracy Chapman's "Fast Cars" (and, yes, a cover of "Skinny Love," too). His covers caught the eye of Warner Music, who produced two EPs for Watson and our guess is a debut LP is not far behind. In the meantime, the singer-songwriter performed alongside Birdy at Shepherd's Bush Empire and is gearing up to release his third EP, The Wild, on April 2nd.

We're excited to premiere "Little Darling," from The Wild, a glimmery folk track that brings to mind the Avett Brothers, Fleet Foxes or his fellow Brits, Mumford & Sons. For each song on The Wild, Watson recorded alternate versions with different instrumentation that would appear on a separate EP and the track below is one of these alternate versions. The plaintive song has the polish befitting a major label deal but fortunately its luster hasn't caused it to be scrubbed of all emotion. But, while a part of us empathizes with Watson when he sings "I'll never find a girl quite like you" about a star-crossed love, another part of us thinks about the young adult's impressive career trajectory and wants to comfort him by saying, "You don't need to worry about girls yet when you've got record deals and concert tours!"

Bottom line? Expect to hear more about Watson in 2013 and listen to "Little Darling" below.

The Wild comes out on 4/2 via Warner Music

Exclusive: Watch the New Episode of RuPaul's "Ring My Bell"


"Ring My Bell," the new web series featuring RuPaul's favorite Drag Race queens taking calls from fans of all sorts, is finally here and making its debut on Papermag! The second queen featured is Willam, who, in our opinion, has the acting chops and ability to offer his own creative take on Alicia Keys' songs to have his own series after this. His utter self-centeredness ("I'm trying to bring attention to one of my favorite causes -- which is me") and willingness to hang up on callers wanting to discuss any other queen has us pretty pumped for this series. Check it out above.

Designer Michael Schmidt On the World's First Fully Articulated 3D Printed Dress

Dita Von Teese in Michael Schmidt by Albert Sanchez.jpgWhen we heard that the world's first totally articulated 3D-printed dress had been made, we were excited and a little scared. Would 3D printing take over the fashion world -- or the world at large? For that matter, what exactly is 3D printing and how do you use it to make a dress? We had so many questions that we went ahead and asked the designer of the dress, Michael Schmidt, about how all of this stuff works and what he thinks is in store for 3D printing.

What is 3D printing? How does the process work?
In a nutshell, a 3D printer is like any regular printer except that it prints not only in length and width but also in depth. Throughout history, most forms of manufacturing have been known as 'subtractive' in nature. This means that you start with a raw material, remove what you don't need and arrive at your final form. By contrast, 3-D printing is known as 'additive' technology. The printer lays down a fine layer of powdered material such as nylon and a laser solidifies the powder according to your design. Then another layer is deposited over the first and the laser hardens, or 'sinters' this layer, and subsequent layers are fused until the final form is built up. This process is called 'selective laser sintering.' The residual powder is vacuumed away, leaving a fully rendered item.

What different ways can you integrate 3D printing into designing an item of clothing?
This process allows for the creation of complex shapes and even "fabrics" that were previously unattainable through conventional means. Its very nature lends itself to pushing the boundaries of fashion. It may eventually become possible to input your measurements and have a printer create a garment specifically tailored to your body.

What's your personal process for designing a dress? And how did it differ from designing a 3D dress?
I'm not much of a sketch artist so I use a variety of means to communicate my ideas anyway. This piece was uniquely engaging in that a great deal of the making of the gown was not only out of my control, it was out of my scope of comprehension. That's why I partnered with Francis Bitonti, an architect based in NY, to help convert my design for the gown into the coded renderings required by the printers. I emailed him my raw sketches from Los Angeles, he created a virtual Dita in his computer and together we 'draped' the design over her form via Skype. He then sent the code to Shapeways, the 3D printing pioneers based in NY. They printed the mesh in 17 sections containing a total of nearly 3,000 fully articulated joints, which were then sent back to me to be colored, assembled and adorned with hand-applied Swarovski crystals.

What made you choose Dita Von Teese as your muse?
Dita embodies graceful athleticism, a knowing sensuality and an effortless chic, all of which serve to enliven the gown. She's no stranger to adventurous wardrobing and she's also a great friend. I wouldn't have thought to attempt this for anyone else.

Did anything else inspire the silhouette and design of the dress?
I wasn't interested in diverging from [Dita's personal style]. When designing for a personality I don't impose my own style upon them; I try to embellish theirs. The design of the gown is a nod toward Dita's flair for 1930's era Hollywood glamor -- achieved by utilizing this futuristic technology.

Did you have to alter your general sensibility to factor in the 3D technology?
Not really. I'm accustomed to taking unusual materials and adapting them to the body. That's been a fairly consistent challenge for me throughout my work.

What are the most interesting things going on in 3D printing right now?
Dutch designer Iris Van Herpen has been doing astonishing work with this technology for a few years, and she will no doubt continue to push the limits of what is possible. Other designers are realizing amazing feats of jewelry and even shoes are being printed.

Do you think fashion design will go totally 3D?
Definitely not. While a designer can create really original creations with this technology, there's no substitute for the hand of a skilled artisan when it comes to touching the soul of the wearer. But there's no reason the two can't be allies!

Photo by Albert Sanchez

A JoBurg Girl Tells Us About Her City's Music and Nightlife

puleng_no_sleep_til.jpgEach week in our new column, "No Sleep Til...," we'll be talking to cool kids around the globe, asking them to fill us in about the bands, DJs, music venues and night spots they and their friends are obsessing over. Next time you visit their home city, leave your Fodor's and Lonely Planet guides behind and go party like a local instead.


Puleng Wilson



Where do you live?

Soweto, Johannesburg, South Africa

What do you do there?

Sales promoter

What South African bands or DJs native are you obsessed with that we should know about?

I am obsessed with a DJ called Black Coffee from South Africa whom I discovered in the early 2000s when he was in a band called "Shana" before later starting his own thing as a solo artist/DJ and starting his own independent record label and making hits. His music is soulful house music, which South Africa loves and really respects.

Where are the cool places to see live music in Johannesburg?
The cool places to see live music in JoBurg are Bassline and Emperors Palace. They're the up market and sophisticated places to hear nice live music. [The crowd is] usually people in their late twenties and older.

What about your favorite bars and nightclubs?

I like going to a place called Liquid Blue in Melville and my favorite club is Avastar in Sandton, Johannesburg. Those places are the fancy clubs that you wanna go to when you wanna paint the town red. The people there are usually in their early 20's to early 30's. It's great!

What's a bar or nightclub you would NEVER go to in Johannesburg?

The club I would never go to in JoBurg is Hush in Rosebank. There have been cases of bouncers assaulting people!

Check out Puleng's DJ rec:

DJ Black Coffee -- Monkey See Monkey Do

Check out Puleng's nightlife listings:

Bassline, 10 Henry Nxumalo St., Newtown, Johannesburg

Emperors Palace, 64 Jones Rd.,  Kempton Park

Liquid Blue, 7th St. between 4th and 5th Aves., Melville

Avastar, 353 Rivonia Rd., Sandton

No Sleep Til...Paris

No Sleep Til...Sydney
No Sleep Til...Brussels
No Sleep Til...Bogotá
No Sleep Til...Copenhagen
No Sleep Til...Seoul
No Sleep Til...Oslo

Heroes for Sale Rock Out You-Know-How


At first, Heroes for Sale's "Jim Morrison" sounds a lot like (acknowledged influence) the Black Keys -- dig the way the guitar riff alternates low and high strings to make up for the guitar-drums duo's lack of bass. But then the vocals enter: a throaty shout delirious with punk nonsense. Here's the lyric sheet:

Why don't you know Jim Morrison

Why don't you know my Lizard King

Why don't you know my favourite son

Why don't you know America's number one

Whoeerooooo [sic]

Why don't you know Jim Morrison

Why don't you know my favourite son

The video's abundant nudity can perhaps be taken as an homage to Morrison's famed arrest for exposing his own "Lizard King." The band rocks out in (green-screened?) locations including a swimming pool, a science classroom, a ballet studio and a senior center. In several shots guitarist Adison Whitley wears only a sock; in another, he and drummer Fraser Hunter are replaced by nude women.

In a live recording available on the band's Bandcamp, Whitley introduces "Jim Morrison" as follows: "You know that feeling when you get a Nintendo 64 for Christmas? We want you to feel that feeling."