Channel: Paper RSS Feed
Mark channel Not-Safe-For-Work? cancel confirm NSFW Votes: (0 votes)
Are you the publisher? Claim or contact us about this channel.

More Awesome George W. Bush Paintings

Screen shot 2013-03-21 at 8.25.20 AM.pngInternet, we have six more paintings by George W. Bush to contemplate. Their subjects include dogs, cats, shells and a cross. [via Gawker]

Screen shot 2013-03-20 at 4.47.22 PM.pngIs Lindsay Lohan's latest mugshot her "best one yet"? [via The Cut]

Screen shot 2013-03-20 at 5.59.16 PM.pngLook, it's little Bubba! [via Tall Whitney]

tumblr_mjxtshjKye1qewacoo1_500.jpgWe were BFFs with Google until we caught them stalking our boyfriend and enticing him with Match.com ads. They suck! [via Tastefully Offensive]

Screen shot 2013-03-20 at 6.05.30 PM.pngOh no! [via Pleated Jeans]

tumblr_mjvdu5PUkJ1re33kmo1_500.jpgFrom the long, long lost archives of Dr. Seuss. [via Coin Farts]

tumblr_mjv3vmyfvS1qz581wo2_500.jpgGood morning, gorgeous. [F Yeah Dementia]

Screen shot 2013-03-20 at 6.18.29 PM.pngNice to meet you. My name's Abby. [via Humor Train]

Screen shot 2013-03-20 at 6.20.34 PM.pngMad Men + Mean Girls = Mean Mad Men. [via Hyper Vocal]

PAPER Cover Girl Vanessa Hudgens was on Jay Leno last night and did a little micro-twerking. We'd like to copyright "micro-twerk," by the way. [via Jay Leno]

And, speaking of twerking, here's Miley Cyrus in a frog suit twerking for two minutes straight. Happy Thursday. [via Miss Info]

Meet Gimme the Loot's Tashiana Washington



Actress Tashiana Washington stars in the charming, low-key Gimme the Loot as brash tomboy Sophia, one of two young graffiti writers (Ty Hickson plays the other) who spend a summer weekend scheming to tag the iconic home-run apple in New York's Citi Field. The film, which opens tomorrow, has been impressing critics like the A.V. Club's Noel Murray, who praised it for "an energy that's been missing from independent film lately." Washington, who also has a role alongside our cover girl Vanessa Hudgens in the upcoming Gimme Shelterspoke with us from her Queens apartment about the first of her "gimme"-titled films.

Is Queens where you grew up?

Yeah, I grew up all my life here but I always spent most of my time in Manhattan. I was going on interviews and auditions from the age of four, so besides school and some dance classes, I spent a large part of my day in Manhattan, running around from the trains and stuff with my mom. I went to public school for grade school here in Queens, PS 165 and 164, but for high school I was homeschooled.

How did you audition for Gimme the Loot?

I read that Sophia was somewhat of a tomboy and a graffiti artist. My mom had this shirt made when she was pregnant with me -- it's the black Flintstones and it's her name and my father's name but spray-painted, graffiti-style. So I wore that along with some cargo shorts. My hair was down. I pretty much felt that I was tomboyish enough. So I went to the audition and all the other girls were dressed really girlish. I thought, "Oh my god, I overdid it."

So you were familiar with the culture of graffiti writing, at least a little bit. Did you have to study it as part of the preparation for the film?

Yeah, [director] Adam [Leon] had this great graffiti writer named SP-1. He came in and gave us graffiti lessons, he told us about graffiti, how it originated, how to write our characters' names, the terminology. We had a lot of help with that.

Is your writing in the film?

To be honest, I did have help, but I did the bubbles on the sides and all of the filling in of the colors, the blending, I did all that myself.

Do you think graffiti is going to make a comeback this year with Gimme the Loot and Adam Mansbach's novel Rage is Back?

I feel like graffiti never went away. People may think it somewhat went away because you don't see it all over the trains like it used to be back in the '80s, but if you pay close attention you can still see "tags." They'll write their graffiti name on a postage sticker. We use those in the film as well, they'll stick them all over the inside of the train. If you look up on the sides of buildings you still see graffiti all over in New York City. I don't think it went away, I just think it's not on trains any more.


Gimme the Loot was made with a pretty small budget. Was that hard?

No. Adam and one of the producers explained to me, "We know you've done some other films in the past and we just want you to know you're not gonna have your own trailer and some of us are gonna be carrying some of the equipment ourselves." They were so modest about it they made it seem like I was going to have to help with equipment, too. But we had an excellent-sized crew. We didn't have a trailer to change in but we always had, wherever we were shooting indoors, a bathroom to change in, so it wasn't a big deal to me.

Actually the food was much better on the set of Gimme the Loot than any others that I've been on. The set food is usually horrible but Gimme the Loot food was wonderful. Every day we ate something different. We had Thai food somedays, we had Trinidadian food. Usually sets have one company that they get to cater for the whole cast and crew but we just ate out at different restaurants every day and it was great.


How did you bond with the other people on set?

Because we had a crew smaller than most people's crew we all had a personal relationship. Me and Ty really bonded because our characters were so close, but we ended up being exactly like our characters. I think that's why it worked so well onscreen: things that we would talk about or argue about in the film, we would bicker a little bit on set and have debates about certain things. They were like, "Uh, guys, we called 'cut' like an hour ago." So I'm really really close with Ty, all the producers, all the production assistants, we're all still in contact. We just had a great time.

How do you think you're like Sophia?

To be honest I'm not like Sophia at all. There are certain things about holding certain things internally like when she was upset because she saw that Malcolm liked Jenny, how she was upset internally, I internalize my feelings like that but I'm not nearly as outspoken or as tough as she is. I think a little part of her is inside of me that I wish I could release but I'm not nearly as bold as her.

The film takes place in one weekend. What do you think happens to Sophia after the movie?

After that day I think she probably went home to wherever she was staying and reflected on the past couple days she had with Malcolm. She probably thought to herself, "Do I like him?" But I think she just was like, "Eh, whatever." I feel like even though it was a fun, crazy day, I feel like it was just another day in the life of Malcolm and Sophia. Even though it was crazy, I feel like it's not that abnormal, like they've been through similar situations before and will probably go through it again. I don't feel like they learned that maybe they should focus on school or probably give graffiti up. I just think it's two kids in the hood that had a crazy weekend and, you know, they just go back to doing what they do best. They're probably in high school, so I don't think they dropped out or anything, or they're gonna get their grades up. I feel like they're gonna go back to school when school starts again they're gonna continue to just do graffiti and have fun and just chill with each other.

What's your character like in Gimme Shelter?

Well the film is about a shelter that Vanessa Hudgens is staying at, she went through some hard times at the beginning of the film, now she's at a shelter for pregnant teens. I'm one of the pregnant teens in the shelter and I'm bipolar, so you get to see me interact with Vanessa and the other girls and hear some of our stories, a little bit of our background, what we went through and how we ended up pregnant. We bond. The film is mostly about Vanessa's situation. It kind of reminds me of Girl, Interrupted but instead of them having mental issues, we're pregnant teens.

What are you working on now?

Right now I'm just currently working on music, that's basically it, that's equal to acting for me, so I've just been recording a lot and I plan on releasing some music very soon. I plan on releasing a full album, I've worked with some really great producers. One of the producers I worked with did a lot of songs for like 50 Cent, Missy Elliott, Maino, a lot of rappers mostly. I'm working with his team. The project's been moving swifter than Taylor.

The Drag Race Queens Will Have Their Own Web Series


RuPaul is usually one of the first to explore new ways to expand his brand -- seriously, even Tyra Banks, Ru's unofficial Drag Race muse, could stand to learn a lesson or two on branding from our lady of drag. And it looks like he's found a new medium: the online web series. The series, called Ring My Bell (which is based on a 1991 British series of the same name), follows a simple structure: each episode, one of the queens takes calls from fans asking for advice, wanting to chat, trying to hit on them, or all of the above. Some of our favorite girls, including Sharon Needles, Willam, Raven, Raja, and Yara Sofia will be answering your calls soon, so reach out and write make a mental list of questions. I know I am.

Inside Cuckoo New Fashion Exhibition "Arrrgh! Monstres de Mode"

Screen shot 2013-03-21 at 12.27.16 PM.pngATOPOS Contemporary Visual Culture, exhibition 'ARRRGH! Monsters in Fashion' at the Benaki Museum, Athens, © photo: Panos Kokkinias.

Magnificently grotesque creatures are taking over the Gaîté Lyrique in Paris this spring, when the museum opens its doors to "Arrrgh! Monstres de Mode." Conceived by Vassilis Zidianakis and Angelos Tsourapas of Athens-based cultural incubator Atopos CVC, the exhibit compiles the work of 55 fashion designers who challenge beauty norms through their transformative, body-morphing creations. From pieces by Alexander McQueen and Issey Miyake to newcomers Hideki Seo and Craig Green, the show includes videos, soundscapes and, of course, subversive fashions. The pieces are an extension of Atopos CVC's book Not A Toy: Fashioning Radical Characters, which highlights the influence of character culture (think video games, street art and online avatars) on contemporary fashion. Below, we chat with  Tsourapas about the exhibition.  

What's your definition of a monster? How does this play into the current fashionscape?

For the ancient Greeks, except for the obvious meanings still in use today, the word 'Monster' described everything strange that had to be given an explanation. Monsters were not just repulsive, supernatural and frightening beasts, but also the astonishing, heavenly phenomena of the world and universe that surrounded them. Anything that could not be explained was a 'monster.' This definition is questioning everything that surrounds us and even our inner thoughts and, I think this is what avant-garde and experimental fashion designers are attempting to do today.

The idea for the exhibit came after the publication of your book Not A Toy which is an exploration of 'character culture' in fashion. What is character culture?
Character culture, or the contemporary characters phenomenon, first appeared in the USA at the beginning of the 20th Century and boomed intensively in Japan in the following decades. Their original purpose was for advertising and product promotion. From the '90s onwards, contemporary characters have flooded cultural and artistic production on a global scale; they now appear in many forms of artistic production -- from street art and video games, to vinyl toys, animation and cinema, object and product design, graphic design, artists' sketchbooks and fashion, questioning the established norms of aesthetics. Even the simplest emoticons, smiley or sad faces that we use every day on email or sms are characters.

Charlie Le Mindu + ATOPOS cvc, Atopic Bodies [ONE]: 'Mr & Mrs Myth', 2010, © photo: Vassilis Karidis.

22_themistocleous.jpgAlexis Themistocleous, 'Out of this World' collection, 2010, photo: Demetris Vattis.

Paul Graves and Joe Fish, Fashion Monster Blahnik, 2006, © photo: Paul Graves.

Pierre-Antoine Vettorello, 'Bonnie Magnum vs Samantha Beretta' MA collection Antwerp Fashion Department, 2009, © photo: Ronald Stoops.

Chi  He, 'Oh! My Dog', BA collection Central Saint Martins College of Art and Design Fashion & Textiles Department, 2011, photo: Buzz Chen.

Screen shot 2013-03-21 at 12.32.26 PM.pngJean-Paul Lespagnard, The Believers, 2010, © photo: Javier Barcala / La Fortuna Studio.

Screen shot 2013-03-21 at 12.32.08 PM.pngManon Kündig, 'Bowerbird', MA collection Antwerp Fashion Department, 2012, © photo: Michaël Smits.

Piers Atkinson, Knitted Balaclava with Pom-Poms, 'All the World's a Stage' collection, S/S 2009, © photo: Leigh Keily.

1-ARRRGH-!-Monstres-de-mode-2.jpgARRRGH ! Monstres de mode. © Style et character design : Craig Green -- Photo : Daniel Lillie

How does character culture fit into fashion?
In the contemporary fashion field, the human body is constantly mutated and transformed into an unknown, bizarre and many times monstrous figure. Designers and artists experiment, give atypical shapes to textiles, create odd forms and extreme volumes, cover and mask the face, and dress the human body by creating hybrid creatures with supernatural shapes, vibrant colors and surprising abstract elements. These experimental creations become parallel worlds, proposing and bringing to surface different realities.

Even though most of the creations exhibited mask or morph the body in a variety of ways, how do these explorations end up revealing more about gender, body identity and current culture?
Our contemporary tendency is to see the function of masks as simply one of concealing -- of hiding, masking -- one's true identity. Cross-culturally and historically, however, the primary, thoroughly extraordinary function of the mask is that of revealing rather than concealing; of transforming -- the ultimate magic-- one person into another person, a deity, spirit or demon, a particular type of person, a human quality or characteristic or an animal. Similarly, these creations are aiming to reveal what the creator has kept a secret in his own unique universe.

We selected outfits that would make heads turn if you were to see them walking down the street. In terms of the link between character design and contemporary fashion and the use of characters on the catwalk, I believe that what most designers are aiming is to present creations that don't focus on 'who I am' (the impression I make with what I wear), but 'what I experience' (the effects that this body and appearance have on my brain).

29_tracy_widdess.jpgTracy Widdess, 'Preta', 2012, © photo: Tracy Widdess.

When piecing together the book and the exhibit what were some of the criteria you held for choosing the talent showcased? Who were some designers that first came to mind?
We reviewed over 5,000 images and we selected those that we considered strange, extraordinary, odd, eccentric, unnatural, disgusting, foul, unwanted, atopic. The first designers that came to mind were Walter van Beirendonck, Alexander McQueen, Comme des Garcons, Martin Margiela, as you would expect, but then our focus was also younger and upcoming designers.

What was it like curating an exhibit, specifically transforming something that is 2D (the book) into a 3D experience.

In the book, we aimed to narrate a story, page after page. We selected the images that would best describe that story with a clear beginning, middle and end. For the exhibition it was quite different. First of all, quite a few of these costumes were not available. They were either damaged because they were too fragile or there were even cases that the designers or artists had to throw them away because they moved and these costumes were simply taking too much space. There were also some cases where we asked for a specific costume and the designer replied that even though that costume looks great on the picture, they would suggest another one for the exhibition because it looks better in real.

A Guide to the ATL Twins

atltwins1.jpgPhoto by D David Crotty/PatrickMcMullan.com

Though Harmony Korine's cooked up some pretty twisted characters in his new movie Spring Breakers -- from gun-toting, bank-robbing college girls to a cornrowed drug dealer named Alien that talks like the rapper RiFF RaFF -- the most insane characters of them all are not from Korine's off-beat fantasies. They're people he stumbled upon in real life -- the ATL Twins. The twosome, who play drug dealing sidekicks to James Franco's Alien in the movie, are definitely two of the weirdest dudes we've come across in a while. Like biological versions of Andrew Andrew or Gilbert & George, the brothers wear the same clothes, do the same shit and claim to even sleep with the same girls (more on that later). Oh, and did we mention that they're paralegals by day? Whether you want to believe their story or not, it's hard to argue with the fact that these guys obviously have a clear idea of what they want -- money, fame, girls -- and how to use their personas to get those things. And, at the risk of becoming the latest media outlet seduced by their shenanigans, we've gathered all the information you need to know about this strange duo from their various interviews over the last year or so for your educational betterment below.   

Their real names are Sidney and Thurman Sewell. We have no clue how old they are.

They grew up in Chattanooga, TN.

They are never, ever apart. "The longest we've EVER been apart was for two hours when he broke his arm, and once for six hours when I went to jail for a DUI."

They lost their virginities to the same 21-year-old girl when they were both 13.

One of their sisters went to Harvard -- but they left school midway through the eighth grade.

They first got on Harmony Korine's radar after an interview they did with VICE went viral. 

atltwins_paralegals.pngThey spent their teen years skateboarding and partying -- and still do that -- but, in addition to appearing in Harmony Korine movies and trying to sleep with chicks, they work as paralegals in Atlanta, live in a high-rise penthouse and drive a white Range Rover.

They'd love to "marry and have kids with" Selena Gomez.

They're, uh, well endowed. "We're both blessed with 9-inch cocks."

They only date and sleep with the same women -- often at the same time -- and were once engaged to a Penthouse playmate.

terry-richardson-shoots-the-atl-twins-for-vice-magazine-08.jpgThey sleep in the same bed every night.

One of their recent sexual conquests was the daughter of "Hollywood Royalty" whom they picked up at a downtown NYC club.

They're working with Harmony Korine on a show for HBO that's "kind of documentary-style about our life. Half reality, half scripted." And it'll be pornographic. "You know how reality shows just won't show people fucking? Well we're going to show that. We're going to show us fucking bitches."

They think James Franco is "a fucking G" even though he declined their offer of a blunt (he told them he's sober).

Contrary to their interview transcripts and to all reasonable assumptions, they do not sound like James Franco's Spring Breakers character -- or RiFF RaFF -- IRL. In fact, they have very little accent at all and one online commenter observed, "These guys seem tight as shit, but I wasn't expecting them to sound like Will Arnett." You can watch them on VICE above.

They're "mirror twins." As they explain, "he's right handed and I'm left handed. We got the same tats on opposite arms. Mirror twins are the ultimate twins. Fuck all you other twins."

Throwback Thursday: Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein Pre-Portlandia


Before Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen were getting Emmy nominations for their deeply hilarious work on Portlandia, they were making comedy videos as ThunderAnt. And back in the hoary days of 2009, filmmaker Molly Schiot sat with them in a parked car outside of Glenn Danzig's house as Brownstein recites the seminal lyrics to the Misfits' "Bullet." Check it out above. Ride, Johnny, ride.

Generationals "Put a Light On" New Orleans Streets


New Orleans' Generationals just released this video for the gently funky "Put a Light On." Glockenspiel doubles the falsetto melody as syncopated guitars chase each other around the beat. The video eschews coherent narrative for various shots of the city and its characters, including mounted police, street performers and a group of guys in banana suits.

Generationals' Heza is out April 2 on Polyvinyl Records.

Johnny Rotten Reviewed the Katy Perry Documentary


1.  Johnny Rotten reviewed Katy Perry's documentary Part of Me for FUSE. We were sort of expecting him to be harsher but it's still damn funny and oddly heartwarming. [via Dangerous Minds]

GUCCI-name.JPG2.  Gucci Mane was so high that when he filmed his big sex scene in Spring Breakers, he fell asleep. Harmony Korine described it thusly: "So we're shooting the sequence, and as he is getting fucked, I start to hear snores. He had literally passed out! And she was riding his dick the whole time. I'd never in my life filmed a sex scene where the dude was sleeping ... and she was on top of him for a good 45 minutes." In fairness, the scene was shot at 4am and Gucci had been smoking the whole night. [via Vulture]

parachute-iphone.jpg3.   Apple took out a patent on several concepts for devices which protect your iPhone from being damaged when it hits the ground, including one that uses "air foils" to slow the fall and another that uses a "gas canister" to counter the downward acceleration of a fall. In other words: an iParachute or an iJetPack. [via Daily Intel]

4.  Cracked made a video imagining what a lot of major websites and apps would be like if they were people. Oh, the internet.

the-metropolitan-museum-of-art.jpg5.  The Met and the Cloisters will be open seven days a week starting July 1st! Now the only days they will be closed are Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years day. [via GalleristNY]

6.  There's not one thing we don't love about Tina Fey reviving her Sarah Palin impression to talk about gay marriage and style. [via Towleroad]

Screen shot 2013-03-21 at 3.58.29 PM.png7.  Well, there's the not-at-all novel plot of Bret Easton Ellis' upcoming novel. [via NPR]

Mark Ronson, Gumbo and Heaven's Gate


Friday, March 22

MUSIC: R.J. Gordon Birthday Bash

The Bushwick DIY venue's regular acts (Bueno, Ovlov, Celestial Shore and Zula) celebrate house engineer R.J. Gordon, who will be performing as a member of slacker-rock group Baked.

Big Snow Buffalo Lodge, 89 Varet Street, Brooklyn. 8 p.m. $5

TALK: The History of Ha!

Veteran comedy writer David Misch ("Saturday Night Live," The Muppets Take Manhattan), performs excerpts from his history Funny: the Book.

92Y Tribeca, 200 Hudson Street. 12 p.m. $21

LIT: I Would Die 4 U

Author, journalist and critic Touré is celebrating the release of his latest book I Would Die 4 U: Why Prince Became an Icon, honoring the man, the musician, the Artist and the enigma known as Prince. And what better way to celebrate Prince than with a dance party DJ'd by Ali Shaheed Muhammad of a Tribe Called Quest? Better yet, it's all for a good cause -- all proceeds from tonight's Housing Works shindig will go to fight homelessness and assist in HIV and AIDS prevention and research.

Housing Works Bookstore Café, 126 Crosby St. 10 a.m.- 9 p.m., $5 General admission $26.76 Admission plus book

Saturday, March 23

MUSIC: Jacco Gardner

If you missed the Dutch baroque-pop multi-instrumentalist's last New York visit, here's your chance to catch him in performance. With kraut-psych-rockers MMOSS.

Mercury Lounge, 217 East Houston Street. 7:30 p.m. $10. 21+

OTHER: Freetown Produce Festival

This weekend-long festival celebrates Louisiana music and cuisine, with classes, performances and meals.

Jalopy Theatre, 315 Columbia Street, Brooklyn. Check here for full listing of events and prices.


Sunday, March 24

MUSIC: Generations of the Beat

The second of two nights celebrating the history of jazz drumming features Andrew Cyrille's duet with Oliver Lake as well as Billy Hart's tribute to Elvin Jones.

Drom, 85 Avenue A, (212) 777-1157. 7 p.m. $20 for a two-day pass for Saturday and Sunday.

WORDS: Design for Living

Miles Champion, William Fuller, and Joe Luna read their poetry.

Parade Ground, 187 East Broadway. 7:30 p.m. Free

PERFORMANCE: Marilyn is Dead: A Dark Burlesque Show with Amanda Lepore

NYC nightlife fixture and transsexual icon Amanda Lepore is hosting a seductive night of stripteases, cocktails and 'performance noir' about the death of Marilyn Monroe at the Living Theater. Burlesque performers Ana Evans, Delysia Lachatte and Raquel Reed join Lepore, who owes much to Ms. Monroe, and a special guest soon to be announced. The festivities will also feature a Marilyn Monroe look-alike contest and tarot card readings. Old Hollywood tragedy and fortune telling? What more can you want from a Saturday night?

Living Theater, 21 Clinton Street. 10 p.m., $20

Monday, March 25

FILM: Heaven's Gate

Michael Cimino's 1980 Western was long synonymous with film-industry failure but has recently been re-evaluated by some critics, who praise well-choreographed scenes of roller-skating and battle. Kris Kristofferson plays a Harvard-educated marshal caught up in a love triangle on the Wyoming frontier.

Film Forum, 209 West Houston Street. 216 minutes, DCP. 8 p.m. $12.50.

Tuesday, March 26

MUSIC: Ratking

Led by teenage rapper Wiki, Ratking purveys a gritty sound molded by their New York upbringing. With noise-rapper Cities Aviv.

Glasslands Gallery, 289 Kent Avenue. 8:30 p.m. $10. 21+


The New York Public Library screens three rare CBGB-era shorts, featuring performances by the Ramones, the Dead Boys and Richard Hell and the Voidoids in addition to footage of scenesters like Patti Astor and Anya Phillips.

New York Public Library for the Performing Arts, 40 Lincoln Center Plaza. 6 p.m. Free

Wednesday, March 27

TALK: Intro to the NY Art World

Lydia Kutko (of Lydia Barry Kutko Art Advisory), Asya Geisberg (of Asya Geisberg Gallery) and Marco Antonini (of NURTUREart) join artist Lyn-Kee-Chow to share their understanding of the local art scene.

3rd Ward, 195 Morgan Avenue, Brooklyn, (718) 715-4961. 7 p.m. Free

Amanda Bynes Is a Really, Really Big Drake Fan


amandabyneswnatswheelchairjimmytomurderhervagina.jpgI know this blog is called Morning FUNNIES and not Morning Saddies but, oh my god,  everything Amanda Bynes does makes me want to sob while sliding down a wall. [Dlisted]

Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon smeared makeup all over each other last night on Late Night and it was pretty cute.

Flavorwire's supercut of Gary Oldman freaking the fuck out in movies is awesome.
P.S. Is his character in True Romance O.G. Riff Raff? Look at him!

plopbird.pngPlop! [AfternoonSnoozeButton]

403_295508937247092_108111880_n.jpgAvocados, grapes, strawberries and tomatoes, SON. Flavonoids 4 lyfe. [Reddit]

A video of a chunky bulldog named Winston tap dancing is the reason for the Internet. [TastefullyOffensive]

tumblr_mjx7gxvNOt1qbozyjo1_500.pngApril 7 April 7 April 7 April 7 April 7 April 7 April 7 April 7 April 7 April 7. [CampBasement]

tumblr_mjtqwlNIQr1rggrn8o1_400.gif<3 <3 <3 Prince Rogers Nelson. [TheRumblr]

tumblr_mjvh7rrmy91qbw5tfo1_500.jpgThis is the look. [FYeahDementia]

PFZ7.jpgIf a red smiley face is the equivalent of "you are a hilarious genius," then we're OK with this score for Emma. [Mlkshk]

tumblr_mk0yloJNqd1qmwqu7o1_500.pngTimes Square, 1987. "New Policy: Best Porn In Town" is our favorite new policy. [InternetGirl69]

Bow to the master, Miley Cyrus -- this is twerking. Please ass clap your way to the nearest exit. Thank you. [Dlisted]

Here's Why Cousin Matthew Looks So Different

danstevens_bigbritishinvite.jpgSince Downton Abbey's Dan Stevens appeared on the GLAAD Awards Red Carpet over the weekend debuting a slimmer, scruffier and darker-haired look, we've all been wondering what's prompted the new makeover. And, as we learned last night when we had the chance to talk to Stevens at a press reception for the Big British Invite -- a "choose your own adventure"-style pop-up in Soho that highlighted everything cool hunters should know about in British culture (think Wah Nails and King Tut's Wah Wah Hut pop-ups) -- the new style is not the result of the actor "going Hollywood" as some have speculated but the result of a new role. A role as a heroin trafficker, to be specific. (We'll give you a second to mentally adjust to the news that Cousin Matthew is trading in his white tie and tails for speedballs and smack.)

Stevens' new role will appear in A Walk Among the Tombstones, a forthcoming film directed by Scott Frank that also stars Liam Neeson and Boyd Holbrook. The actor tells us "it's a grizzly crime thriller and Liam [Neeson] plays a former cop-turned-private detective who's also an alcoholic. One of the strands of the plot is that he comes to help a drug trafficker whose wife has been kidnapped and murdered and that's me." The movie is currently being filmed in Brooklyn so the next time you see a shady-looking man lurking on a street corner in King's County, give him a second glance because it could be Cousin Matthew.

And check out more photos from the Big British Invite below.

bigbritish2.jpgAlexa Chung

bigbritish5.jpgLondon made out of British sweets

bigbritish1.jpgTali Lennox

bigbritish4.jpgBritish punk fashion

bigbritish3.jpgSinger Estelle

Mad Hatter-themed tea time at the Sanderson Hotel pop-up!

Photos by Mireya Acierto/PatrickMcMullan.com

A Sneak Peak of the Stephen Burrows Retrospective

Here's a little taste of the clothes you'll see at the Stephen Burrows retrospective, courtesy of our EIC Kim Hastreiter. A little info: the exhibit opens at Museum of the City of New York today, and is co-curated by Daniela Morrera and the museum's costume curator, Phyllis Magidson. Burrows told us the exhibit will be full of "colorful, exciting, fun clothes," and Kim says it's amazing, so you know it's good. To learn more about the exhibit, Burrows' past and present, and his take on the state of diversity in the fashion industry, read our interview in our spring issue here. And go out and see the exhibit! We know we will.


Party Pros Share Their Craziest Spring Break Stories

Now that Spring Break is in full tequila-guzzling swing, we asked some of our favorite party people about the crazy spring break shenanigans they got into back in the day. Read on for tales of spiders, puking, pool dance contests and more.

cat-marnell-spring-break.jpgCat Marnell, Writer + Editor-At-Large at VICE
"I went to a prep school called Lawrence Academy in Groton, Massachusetts, where the big pre-Spring Break treat was (and still remains) its 'Winterim' program, where for two weeks in March everyone chooses an 'intensive course of study' -- sailing in New Zealand or learning French in Paris or something. Anyway, my hockey player/student government boyfriend and I were caught having sex in his dorm and so we couldn't go to Costa Rica together to build houses for the poor or something. I dunno what we were going to do -- obviously the real plan was just to have more hot illicit teen sex! In abandoned doghouses or something. Anyway, I got suspended from Winterim as punishment and sent home to D.C. To get the project credit, I had to do two weeks of grueling psych ward rounds with my arch-nemesis to this very day: my bitchy hotshot psychiatrist DR. DAD! -- Who was so mad he wouldn't TALK to me, and we were in the car together three hours a day! (Not that I WANTED him to!) We left the house every day at 6:40 AM and got home every night at 8 PM. It was f-ing miserable and the only time in my life I felt true empathy for my aforementioned always-in-a-bitch-mood father.

I wound up getting expelled from Lawrence for drugs like a month and a half after I came back from spring break -- just before graduation. But this time, I came home pregnant! Yes, with a giant Xanax bar. No, I had a gory second trimester abortion. The End."

Screen shot 2013-03-22 at 1.05.35 PM.pngLesley Arfin, Writer
"I didn't know I wasn't supposed to mix red wine and Tequila. I got way too drunk way too early in the evening and ran into a girl I knew from another high school that I hadn't seen in years. She'd had a nose job and her face looked so radically different that I puked all over her. My drunken brain couldn't handle the shock of her new face.

I also snuck crystal meth on the plane. We went to the Bahamas."

derekblasberg_springbreak.jpgPhoto by Nicholas Hunt/PatrickMcMullan.com
Derek Blasberg, Writer and Man-About-Town
"In my last year of high school in St. Louis, Missouri, we all went on a senior trip to Puerto Vallarte, Mexico. I had my first sips of tequila (but not the last) and I entered (and won, of course) a dance contest by our hotel's pool organized by the pool DJ. Because yes, there was a pool DJ."

peterdavisthanksgiving_carlyotnessbfa.jpgPeter Davis, Editor-in-Chief of SCENE Magazine
"I was booted from boarding school in Connecticut, for being a punk rocker glued to a skateboard -- the official reason was lying about leaving campus without permission and it would have been my Pomfret School record-breaking figth time in front of the 'DC,' the Disciplinary Committee. (Think a court-like scenario made up of grouchy preppy teachers and nerdy students -- my worst nightmare.

So the second I got home to NYC, I snuck out and of course went clubbing. Naturally, I was busted by my parents. My mother told me, through fake, overly dramatic tears, that I was 'done' amongst nice people and belonged in jail. My mom always takes things next-level.

It was late February and my parents were going on their annual trip to stay with fancy friends like Annette de la Renta in Lyford Cay in the Bahamas. My mother was 'terrified' to leave me 'to my own devices' in Manhattan. 'You're coming to Lyford with us and you'll work as a gardener the whole time at the house.' Needless to say, I never raked a single leaf.

I was pissed at Pomfret and missed my hooligan friends. So I bought a bunch of those 'It's Better in the Bahamas' postcards with bodacious bikini babes and wrote every member of the [Disciplinary Committee]: 'Everything worked out for the best. I'm on the beach in the Bahamas and happier than ever. I heard Connecticut is really cold now. Off to Paris next.' Bad boys finish first!"

Screen shot 2013-03-22 at 1.01.55 PM.pngPhoto by Billy Farrell Agency/BFANYC.com

Billy Farrell, Photographer and Co-Founder of the Billy Farrell Agency
"Wish I did [go on spring break]! I never went to college full-time....so I was always working while my friends were whooping it up somewhere warm. Wha wha :("

andrewandrew_springbreak.jpgPhoto by Nicholas Hunt/PatrickMcMullan.com

AndrewAndrew, DJs
"We've never really been on spring break, but this year we plan to watch that new James Franco movie, and then re-enact it. We've already bought the neon bikinis."

vashtie_spring break story.jpgPhoto by Mireya Acierto/PatrickMcMullan.com

Vashtie, Artist, Director and Downtown Party Promoter
"When I was a freshman in High School my friend Liz invited me on her family's Spring Break trip to Myrtle Beach. We piled in her Mom's car with her two brothers and drove down. It was pretty tame; we hung out on the beach, ate at Planet Hollywood, flirted with boys on the boardwalk.

I think my craziest Spring Break memory was me falling in love with a caricature artist that worked at Myrtle Beach's Boardwalk. I was 14 and he was definitely older than me, but somehow we started a penpal friendship after meeting. I think that's more weird than crazy. I still have the letters and the caricature drawing he did was terrible."

Tilda_Justin_M_Villalobos_The_Slide_2.jpgTilda Swinton and Justin Vivian Bond. Photo by Miguel Villalobos

Daniel Nardicio, Nightclub Promoter

"Years ago, I was throwing an underwear party in the basement of The Slide bar on Bowery. At about 1a.m., the place was packed, and in walks Tilda Swinton in a floor length Calvin Klein gown, fresh from a Paper Awards event where she had just been honored for something. I came over to ask her what she'd like to drink, and she said: 'I am NOT getting into my underwear! I've just had twins.' Of course I didn't ask her to, and she hung out at the bar with Justin Vivian Bond all night drinking while god knows what was going on around her. A true New York moment."

kayvonzandlifeball.jpgKayvon Zand and his entourage arriving in Vienna

Kayvon Zand, Singer/Performance Artist
"Best spring break memory was arriving in Vienna for LifeBall in 2011. The proper way to make a spring break entrance into a foreign country: bouffant, check; snake crown, check; umbrella servant, check; blonde bombshell in tow, check."

AndrewWK_Spring Break.jpegAndrew W.K. and friend CC on spring break
Andrew W.K., Musician, Party Expert and Santos Party House Co-Owner

"The craziest spring break I ever had was back in 1999. My friend CC and I rented a house in Acapulco and planned on spending a week there just going completely wild. The house was almost in a jungle sort of area, and our goal was to go to the beach and invite all these girls back to the house to party hard. Well, on the first day, we realized that the house was infested with spiders. And I mean really, really, really gigantic spiders. It was extremely intense. There were tarantula-sorts of fat spiders, and bright-colored giant boney spiders, and shiny black pointy spiders. During the night, you could hear them running on the ceiling and then falling onto the floor with a thud. When we finally did get some pretty bikini girls to come over to the house, we thought they would never stay because of all the spiders everywhere. That's when things got really crazy. One of the girls was using the bathroom and emitted a blood curdling scream, before limping out the door crying -- turns out a spider had crawled up from under the edge of the toilet and bit her where it counts! All the girls freaked out and so did we and we left the house and checked into a hotel. Then we partied so hard that I don't really remember anything else from the entire trip. But I'll never forget those spiders -- they were amazing."

Who Took Joey Ramone's Baby Away?


Lore holds that Joey Ramone wrote "The KKK Took My Baby Away" after losing his girlfriend Linda to his (politically conservative) bandmate Johnny. However, Joey's brother Mickey is skeptical of that reading, calling it a "fluky connection" in his 2011 memoir I Slept with Joey Ramone. You might be surprised to learn (as we were!) that the band shot a music video for the song, though the Queens quartet was in fact featured on MTV's first day of programming.

AndrewAndrew Insta-Review Breakfast at Tiffany's


Breakfast at Tiffany's at Cort Theatre

Breakfast at Tiffany's... on Broadway? Intriguing, but this isn't a musical version of the beloved rom-com about swinging New York City. This is a serious play based on the original Truman Capote novella, with all the sinister subtext intact. (And no "Moon River"! ) Will we fall head-over-heals for this grittier Holly Golightly (played by Emilia Clarke from Game of Thrones)? Find out in the full review and read up on the show's co-star Cory Michael Smith HERE!

Ann at Vivian Beaumont Theatre

Ann, a one-woman show about a Texas governor, doesn't sound like much fun at first glance, but when you consider how vivacious and bawdy the real Ann Richards was, this may be worth your time. Find out if her approval rating soars or if like the real Richards she doesn't seem fit for a second term.

Walking Dead Characters Meet Dirty '80s Hits



Images from Frank Ockenfels/AMC and WikiCommons

Hesta Prynn A.jpeg

In this weekly column, MC/DJ Hesta Prynn pairs pop culture stories with an original playlist.

I spent the past week juice fasting, celebrating my birthday and watching The Walking Dead. The first couple of seasons of this melodramatic zombie soap opera move fairly slowly. However, season three really picks up and now I'm addicted. Alternating between glasses of ginger/beet/kale and Absolut Tune, I imagined scoring this show with the soundtrack it's really begging for: dirty '80s songs. This week's Five n Five offers the main characters of The Walking Dead instructions from some of the best dirty '80s tracks.

Andrea: "Physical," Olivia Newton-John

Andrea is one pair of legwarmers away from being an extra in the "Physical" video. You could literally lift her out of The Walking Dead and drop her into an episode of Dynasty and she wouldn't miss a beat. "Took you to an intimate restaurant, then to a suggestive movie" is the lyric that plays when she and The Governor get it on for the first time.

Daryl: "I Want Your Sex," George Michael

"Daryl you are so hot, I couldn't be more excited to be trapped in a prison with you during the War at the End of the World. Put down that crossbow and get all up in the hot-ass mess that is my haircut." - Carol

Rick: "Relax," Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Rick is your typical dramatic high schooler who overthinks everything and doesn't make a move until it's too late. I literally couldn't be more over someone; was basically rooting for Shane the whole time.

Michonne: "Naughty Girls Need Love Too," Samantha Fox*

The fact that the most badass character on this show is a female ninja plucked out of Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome speaks to its awesomeness. Couldn't be more excited for the inevitable love scene between her and Andrea. (Naughty girls need love too.)

*FUN FACT: I was forbidden to watch MTV because of Samantha Fox.

Carl: "Like a Virgin," Madonna

Obvious signs of puberty are a child actor's kisses of death. Sofia was a child during Season 1. She came back in Season 2 with boobs: we all know how that turned out. Carl has managed to enter his early teens gracefully with no sign of a between-season growth spurt. Definitely hoping he loses his virginity before the walkers take them all out.

Chef Daniel Burns On His New Greenpoint Beer Bar, Torst

Daniel Burns_Headshot2.jpg

We've long ventured to Greenpoint's Manhattan Avenue for homey bowls of borscht, colorful dive bars and Peter Pan donuts. But the newest reason to ride the G train is the sleek marble-and-oak craft-beer den, Tørst. Jeppe Jarnit-Bjergsø of Denmark's acclaimed Evil Twin Brewing is behind the rare bottle collection and 21 temperature-controlled brews on tap, but the bar's also getting much buzz because of its owner, Daniel Burns. The superstar Canadian chef has worked in some of the world's most famed kitchens -- The Fat Duck, Noma, Momofuku --  and New Yorkers are eager for Luksus (that's Danish for luxury), his 26-seat restaurant debuting this May within Tørst. Here, the shaggy-haired, bearded Brooklynite discusses the downside of foraging, craft beer as an alternative to wine and overpriced Danish furniture.

So, while we all wait for Luksus to open, you've got snacks to keep us sated at Tørst.
Yeah, I just wanted to do cheese and meats [right now the ever-changing platters highlight Montgomery's English clothbound cheddar, 'Hooligan' from Vermont, Chiriboga Bavarian blue, Broadbent Country Ham, Saucisson sec Basque and Olympic Provisions' cacciatore] while the beer gets up and running. There are little olives and and I'm making pickles and dark Danish rye bread. It's not the rye we think of when having salami sandwiches.

The restaurant, when it opens, will offer a five-course tasting menu. Can you give us a preview of any of the dishes you will serve?
I'm still playing around with recipes, but it will be super seasonal and not meat-heavy, with a strong pastry component. I'm going to focus on some Scandinavian flavors, but I don't want to pigeonhole myself.

You ran the pastry department at Noma, the Copenhagen restaurant credited with kicking off New York's affinity for all things foraged. What is one thing you love about the Scandinavian culinary aesthetic?
The brightness and lightness of the food that is refreshing and super healthy. It's a large menu, but you don't leave feeling stuffed.

It's great to see how popular this style of cooking has become stateside, but are there any components you're not so smitten with?
Foraging is incredible, but not when it's something thrown on a plate that isn't an element of the dish.

No one is coming to Tørst to sip a Manhattan or a glass of Grüner Veltliner. So your tasting menus will be paired with beers that best complement your dishes?
Yeah, it's way too difficult to build a menu around beer.

Why do you think craft beer has taken off?
Beer is really gaining strength. Just like with coffee, people get into it. There are so many styles. You see more and more beers in wine pairing options now.

You studied mathematics and philosophy in school. When did you know you wanted to cook?
I realized the teaching thing wasn't going to happen, so I started working in a café. I wanted to wake up every morning and cook.

You're from Halifax, which is brimming with great seafood, and your mom was a home economics teacher. Do you have powerful food memories?
You just love lobster in Halifax. And mussels -- I would just boil and eat them.

You staged in England at Le Manoir aux Quat'Saisons -- Raymond Blanc's restaurant near Oxford -- then St. John in London and the Fat Duck in Bray before working at the latter full-time. There must be so many memories. Any from the Fat Duck archive?
Yeah, it was quite the experience. The first time we did the bacon and egg ice cream inside the actually hollowed out egg, cracked into the frying pan and frozen tableside was for Ferran Adrià. Very cool.

And working at Noma must have been wild.
We had thirteen tables, and many times they would all be filled with people from thirteen different country codes.

Is there a memorable dish in particular?
A blueberry dessert that tasted like blueberry pie. It had blueberry sorbet, pine ice cream, meringue and brioche, so all these different textures. It made people feel like kids.

Then you went to New York and worked for David Chang at Momofuku. What happened there?
I was in charge of research and development for three and a half years. We did all kinds of testing on miso and fermentation and menu development. There was this shiitake crisp I made almost by mistake: I was making a broth and mushroom puree was left at the bottom of the strainer.

You live in Greenpoint, close to Tørst. What drew you there?
At first it was proximity to the East Village, when I was working at Momofuku. I also like being by the water. It's quiet, too, and has a real neighborhood feeling.

Where do you like to eat in Brooklyn?
Battersby. And Pok Pok. I also really want to check out the Pines.

The space is awesome. It truly feels like Scandinavia-meets-Brooklyn.
I'm super happy with the build-out. We have '50s, mid-century modern Danish furniture -- and we're about to get some Royal Copenhagen pieces -- but we actually shipped it from Denmark because it's cheaper. If you want to buy Danish furniture here, remember how marked up it is.

615 Manhattan Ave., torstnyc.com

The Best, Worst and Weirdest of the Week

jon-hamm-bulgesuperlatives.jpgSaddest Penis News of the Week: Jon Hamm has been told by AMC to put his pants ham away. We pay tribute to our old friend HERE. -- Elizabeth Thompson

Best Reading: Over the weekend I plowed through Richard Hell's new autobiography, I Dreamed I Was a Very Clean Tramp. (It's not that long.) Hell greatly inspired my teenage self: I even wrote about him in my college essay. His prose is controlled and lyrical, but sufficiently self-aware to avoid mystification. I frequently laughed out loud. -- Jonah Wolf

Vincent-Kartheiser-Alexis-Bledel-640x884.jpgEngagement News that Most Made Us Real Nervous of the Week: Vincent Kartheiser and his Mad Men co-star Alexis Bledel are engaged, which, congrats! Yay! But also, Vincent Kartheiser once told us at at an event that he wore a fake wedding ring because he liked the kind of woman it attracted and just generally seems a little turdish. (See this charming quote about rape he gave to Blackbook at the same party.) Run away Alexis Bledel, run! -- E.T.

Best Spring Break-Related Schadenfreude of the Week: Lesley Arfin's tale about seeing an old classmate while drunk on spring break. "She'd had a nose job and her face looked so radically different that I puked all over her. My drunken brain couldn't handle the shock of her new face." -- Abby Schreiber

amandabynes_transformation.jpegMost Shocking Physical Transformation of the Week: Amanda Bynes'. Check out those cheek piercings! -- Rashard Bradshaw

Story That Most Made Our Palms Sweat: This Times article on the construction worker who was almost sucked into 'a tomb' of nearly frozen viscous mud while he was working on the 2nd avenue subway tunnel. It took four hours to get him out and thanks to this line -- "In the end, it would take a pulley system, a backhoe, a manual griphoist machine and the sheer determination of scores of firefighters, who crouched in the slop to dig him out by hand, to finally release the worker from earth's steely grip" -- we're now terrified of mud. Get away from all mud! -- E.T.

Beyonce_V_21Mar13_pr_1920_646x430.jpgBest Collaboration: It's been confirmed that Beyoncé and H&M are joining forces for a  summer campaign! -- R.B.

Best New Rumor: Kimye may be naming their child North, as in North West. I'm officially done. -- R.B.

This Museum Director Realllly Mismanaged His Budget


keine_verlaengerung_fuer_makdirektor_peter_noever20101112133613.jpg1.  Peter Noever, the ex-managing director of the Austrian Museum of Applied Arts and Contemporary Art (MAK) in Vienna, is in big trouble for mismanaging the museum's budget. Among other things, he took 79 vacation days a year, spent over $100,000 annually on his travel expenses, billed the museum for 58 bottles of alcohol at an event for eight people, and had 10 birthday parties for his mother on the museum's tab. Woah. [via Artforum]

2.  We laughed out loud at this short about a filter that accidentally puts googly eyes on Barack Obama, Luke Skywalker, and a whole host of TV characters. Damn you, googly eyes. [via Laughing Squid]

23achebe_337-articleLarge.jpg3.  Chinua Achebe, known as the Father of Modern African Literature and author of Things Fall Apart, passed away today at 82. [via NY Times]

man_fire--525x400.jpg4.  A homeless man accidentally lit himself on fire at the Bleeker Street 6 subway station today. Thankfully he's okay. [via NY Post]

5.  Here's a new Jessie Ware track called "Imagine It Was Us" from Devotion, out on April 16th. [via Pitchfork]

egg_2186045b.jpg6.  If you've got a lot of money to spare and love, love, love Easter, Upper West Side confectioner Sugar & Plumm Purveyors of Yumm is selling a 3-feet high, 22-pound, $1000 chocolate Easter Egg. [via Eater; image via Telegraph UK]

ageless-paul-rudd-quiz.jpg7.  Vulture's "Ageless Paul Rudd" quiz is proof positive that Paul Rudd doesn't age (or that there's some Benjamin Button's shit going on there).

End Your Boring Week with a Bang


Welcome to our Friday GIF roundup, featuring a collection of this week's most important, amusing and/or newsy GIFs and GIF sets by Mike Hayes of BuzzFeed and GIF Hound.


It's Friday! Kabooyow! (BuzzFeed)


Thank god, cause this week was BOR-ING


I did learn one thing that I hate: An octopus changes color when out of water. (cineraria)


Also learned that this guy hates sharing.


Largest bridge demo in Texas history, mother f*******! This is the coolest thing that happened all boring ass week. (Reddit)


But hey! It's March Madness now! Which means college basketball kids doing college basketball things, like this. (blake gif'in)


And this?


Speaking of sports, what is this sport? (A Football Report)


And finally, awwwwwwwwwwwww