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Purity Ring's "Lofticries" Is Our Music Video of the Day


If you can tie all of the sub-texts in this video together, you're probably a fan of Cloud Atlas -- the novel and the film.  The rest of us are left to ponder what the heck Montreal's Purity Ring had in mind for "Lofticries."  The director, A.G. Rojas, is know for his enigmatic videos for others including Jack White and Odd Future, and he told Filmmaker Magazine:  "The thing about music videos is that you're not going to make money off of them. So I want to make videos that will reflect the films I want to make."  Purity Ring is playing at Webster Hall on January 11, 2013.

Oh What FUN! Excerpts From Gallerist Patti Astor's New Memoir

Patti Astor moved to New York from Ohio in the late '60s with the intention of attending Barnard. Instead, she dropped out, became active in the anti-war movement and went on to be crowned the Queen of Downtown. Today, she is best known as the star of Charlie Ahearn's Wild Style, a seminal film in which Astor played a reporter who introduces uptown hip-hop culture to the downtown art world. Life imitated art when Astor founded FUN Gallery with art dealer Bill Stelling in 1981. FUN Gallery, located on East 10th Street in the East Village, was a place where neighborhood kids, downtown artists, b-boys, rock, film and rap stars mixed with museum directors, art historians and uptown collectors at wild openings featuring artists like Futura, Fab 5 Freddy, Lee Quiñones, Kenny Scharf, Keith Haring and Jean-Michel Basquiat. Now living in Los Angeles, Astor has written a memoir that retains the unmistakable Astor voice, both coquettish and cutting, and captures that very heady moment in downtown New York history. Here we've excerpted a portion of her self-published tome, FUN Gallery...The True Story, available for purchase at thefungallery.com. -- David Hershkovits

Fun Before Fun
My first official art event took place when Futura offered to give me a painting. I was living on East 3rd St., and suggested he do a mural in the apartment instead. In the graffiti world, a mural was more prized and special than something that could be bought or sold... Futura was thrilled with the idea so we decided he would start in the morning and in the afternoon we would have an "Art Opening and Barbecue." I invited everyone and he got started.

Kenny Scharf had by this time baptized himself as "Van Chrome" and was "customizing" just about everything he could get his hands on, his favorite items being appliances. He had a real thing for vacuum cleaners. "Customizing" consisted of a wild paint job and the gluing on of tiny plastic dinosaurs, cowboys, rocket ships, etc. Kenny came over that morning and did my blender, toaster and clock while Futura painted. I made vats of potato salad, stoked up the ribs and we all puffed primo spliffs.

Of course, Keith Haring, Kenny Scharf, Fab 5, Kiely Jenkins and Futura were all in attendance. Someone glanced out of the front window overlooking the street, and an amazed "Oh, shit!!!" drew us all to the spot. In front of our collective astounded eyes, Diego Cortez and major uptown dude Jeffrey Deitch, in his perfectly tailored Brooks Brothers suit, were getting out of a cab!! Delicately picking their way through the heaped up garbage cans, Diego and Jeffrey were heading to the door. We all cracked up. Soon I was handing ribs to the art buyer for Citibank!

The Fun Begins
Oh, and the beginning of the FUN Gallery! It was all an accident! Our gallery was going to be an artists' gallery as opposed to the moneyed enclaves to the south in SoHo, so I decided that each artist could give their own name to our as yet un-named space. Kenny came up with the "FUN Gallery" and it was so stupid we let it stick. One thing was for sure... the art world would never be the same.

Our first hint of the big time came during Fab's [Fred "Fab 5 Freddy" Brathwaite] show. I was sitting alone in the gallery one afternoon when this gigantic limo pulled up out front and in strolled this suave European type with a beautiful babe on each arm. His name was Bruno Bischofberger and he looked just like the James Bond villain "Goldfinger." I found out later from artist Arch Connelly that he was "the second biggest collector in the world after Count Panza."

Bruno pulled out all these index cards and began to interrogate me: Who did I think were the best graffiti artists? What did I think of Basquiat? What were my plans?

Keith-Signs-for-FriendsPattiAstor.jpgSlut For Art
As you may imagine, with all of these parties and handsome young men around, my love life, in the last moments before the AIDS plague descended, was spectacular. The tag that Tseng Kwong Chi put on my black-lit mini-dress, "Slut For Art," was probably well deserved. I had affairs with Fred, Futura and Jean-Michel. In the end, it was Kiely Jenkins with whom I would fall in love and spend the next four years.

It was fitting that our final show of FUN's first year was with the most revered graffiti artist of all, Lee Quiñones. Right before Lee's show Rene Ricard announced his intention to do his next Artforum article on the FUN Gallery and Lee's work. In the piece, entitled "The Pledge Of Allegiance," Ricard used a quote from one of my favorite movies, Morocco, with Marlene Dietrich: "There's a foreign legion of women too. But we have no uniforms -- no flags -- and no medals when we are brave." Soon after this, Miss Dietrich sets out into the Sahara in her high heels after her man, Legionnaire Gary Cooper. I would have done exactly the same thing.

The Battle of the Pumpkins
Saturday was the big hang-out day before going out to the night's round of openings and parties. [On one Saturday night in October] I got pumpkins and knives for everyone and a suitable mix of homeboys and famous artists got started. Then Julian Schnabel pulled up in his big shiny Bentley convertible. With his cashmere overcoat, big cigar and air of droit de seigneur as he entered the gallery, Julian came in and took a snotty look around and then remarked to everyone what a travesty it was that I was being so sacrilegious as to have this frivolous activity going on in the inner sanctum of the gallery.

This remark was greeted by a pointed silence because pumpkin-carving had become a grand prix event. As soon as Julian realized no one cared what he thought, he whipped off his coat, commandeered the biggest pumpkin for himself and set to work.

Jean-Michel showed up a little later on. In his brilliant rise to success, he had made a bundle and by this time dressed in expensive dark designer suits and always had an entourage of at least one main toady with him, at that moment Stephen Torton, with whom he shared his drug (at that time, coke) habit. They styled around in an early '50s dark Chevy coupe.

Jean ended up stealing Julian's pumpkin that night and set off an art world furor! Julian was outraged because he had been planning to have it bronzed. (He was serious.) The pumpkin remained elusive over the next two days as a "pumpkin celebre" -- it roamed from Odeon to Leo Castelli Gallery to Area.

Sticker-from-Wild-StylePattiAstor.jpgBasquiat, The Difficult, With Guest Appearance By Paul Simon
In anticipation of Jean's "back to bohemia" debut at the FUN, Jean and his minions loaded all the artwork in and he began an around-the-clock vigil fueled by huge lines of coke and giant spliffs of premium Hawaiian weed. Still dressed in his Armani suit, he wandered around the gallery barefoot with a paintbrush and a jar of black acrylic paint doing touch-ups until dawn.

The opening was the usual mayhem, enlivened by the presence of rock star Paul Simon. I was embarrassed to find out he was being followed around the gallery by the local homeboys humming "parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme." I grabbed their scrawny little arms and told them to cool it. One great painting in the show caught Paul Simon's interest. We were all ready to sell him "St. Joe Louis Surrounded By Snakes" for the thrilling price of $8,000 when Rene Ricard burst out in a hysterical screaming fit that Jean had promised him that painting! If we sold it, we would be traitors after everything he (Rene!) had done (for us!) and he would throw himself out in the street (right away!) and be run over by a car (!!!) which, he proceeded to demonstrate, followed by a deafening screech of brakes from outside. This kind of put a damper on that particular transaction and Paul Simon left without buying anything.

Jean was seeing the young singer Madonna at the time and they spent most of the night huddled in corners having a hissing vituperative fight. At one point Bill Stelling and I were trapped in the tiny closet we grandly called "our back room." We had retreated there to do a couple lines of coke and get away from the mob. JM and Madonna were leaning against the door arguing and we heard the whole thing. She had given a huge party in Jean-Michel's loft while he was out of town, telling everyone it was hers and letting them drink all his booze. He was furious. Madonna was well known on the scene as a total slut. Madonna's claim to fame, besides her hit song "Holiday," was the blow-jobs she would give in the men's bathroom. Still, I guess it paid off for her.

Photo 1: Futura and Astor in front of Futura's "Fresh" mural at their "Art Opening and Barbecue," 1981 © Anita Rosenberg

Photo 2: Keith Haring signs autographs for his fans in 1983

Photo 3: Sticker from the infamous "Wild Style" Japan tour in 1983, photo by Martha Cooper

Marc Jacobs Brings on the Lulz + The Disneyfication Of All Your Favorite Fashion Celebs in Today's Style Scraps


Watch Marc Jacobs' new ad featuring a dude who really looks like he's masturbating in a park. It isn't exactly NSFW, but it's close. [via The Cut]

keira-breasts.jpgKeira Knightly discussed how photo editors Photoshop her breasts with Allure, saying: "They always pencil in my boobs. I was only angry when they were really droopy...if you're going to make me fantasy breasts, at least make perky breasts." And lo and behold, her nipple is clearly Photoshopped out of her cover. [The Cut]

page-one.jpgWWD got a preview of the animated short Disney made in collaboration with Barneys, and apparently it's adorable. The plot is as follows: Minnie Mouse gazes longingly in the window at Barneys and imagines herself on the front lines of Paris Fashion Week, interacting with basically every famous person in fashion. In sum: we'd watch that. Meanwhile, take a peek at the Disney-fied versions of some of fashion's best and brightest. [via WWD]

img-anne-hathaway-wedding-dress_111717237248.jpg_article_singleimage.jpgHere's a proper first look at Anne Hathaway's custom Valentino wedding dress. [via Fashionista]

img-holdingfashionforsandyreliefjpg_183413329301.jpg_article_singleimage.jpgThe CFDA and Vogue have joined forces to create The Fashion For Sandy Relief Initiative. They'll be auctioning off items like going to a fashion show with Anna Wintour and dining with Gwyneth Paltrow. All proceeds will go to charity. [via Vogue]

People are petitioning for Macy's to fire Donald Trump as one of its spokespersons after, well, everything. Here's the new Macy's featuring an awkward Trump birther joke. [via E!]

Front Hangtag.pngFriends of PAPER Susan and Chrissie Miller designed a cashmere collection for Calypso. Each color for the collection has been "read" by Susan Miller to help customers select the colors most in line with their signs and planetary traits. We would buy it all now, but our horoscope tells us to put off shopping for a little while. (Mercury is in retrograde, after all.) [via Press Release]

squatchfabrix.jpgOur new favorite brand is SASQUATCHfabrix. That is all.

PAPERMAG Premieres Computer Magic's "In So Many Ways"

Screen shot 2012-11-13 at 11.53.24 AM.pngWe're excited to exclusively premiere "In So Many Ways," a new song by Computer Magic, the solo project from 22-year-old Danz (née Danielle Johnson). The synth-y, multi-layered track was recorded live for Snacky Tunes, a music and food-themed radio show created by brothers and DJs Darin and Greg Bresnitz (a.k.a. Finger on the Pulse) for the Heritage Radio Network. (And, fun fact, the show is recorded inside two shipping containers in the back of Roberta's.) The song appears on a compilation record, Snacky Tunes Live Volume 3, out today, that features additional live recordings by Reggie Watts, Oberhofer, Dragonette, Sinkane, Emil & Friends and more. And, if you're looking to get out tonight, there's an album release party for the compilation at Cameo Gallery in Williamsburg featuring live performances by artists on the LP, including Emil & Friends, Moon Hooch and Au Revoir Simone's Erika Spring along with a DJ set by Computer Magic herself. All proceeds from door sales and 10% of drink sales will be donated to Red Hook Initiative, which has been busy organizing relief efforts in the neighborhood following devastation caused by Hurricane Sandy.

Listen to "In So Many Ways" below:

Screen shot 2012-11-13 at 11.56.05 AM.png

Eve Hewson: A Star Is Born

There's a scene in Paolo Sorrentino's new film, This Must Be the Place, in which Sean Penn, who stars as a reclusive, aging Robert Smith-esque rock star, is asked why he never had children. "Rock stars shouldn't have kids because you run the risk that your daughter becomes a wacky stylist," he snorts. Actress Eve Hewson, 21, who costars with Penn and is the daughter of U2's Bono, says she's pretty familiar with that assumption. Mostly because, well, it's true. "I thought that line was actually quite accurate; you're either a model or a jewelry designer," Hewson says of her fellow rock star spawn and their eventual careers. It's harder to fake it as an actress, she says, "because if you're really bad, then you're just really bad. People are going to be more accepting of you if you're actually talented." And Hewson is. Her restrained performance as the sullen Mary, a platonic teenage companion of Penn's, helps carry much of the first portion of the film. Clearly, this role wasn't simply handed to her.

As a teenager, Hewson had a brief rebellious phase similar to her gothy character's. "I hated the world and was like, 'Screw you guys!' to my parents. I got over that real quick," she says. Sadly, this phase did not include skateboarding, which she had to learn for the film. "I took lessons in New York from this really cool skater guy and I was so, so bad. He had me skate around with him and his friends in the Meatpacking District and I was wearing a helmet and pads and looked like this stupid turtle trying to catch up to these cool guys."

Next up Hewson will star in a still-untitled Nicole Holofcener movie, but will first finish up her degree in drama at NYU. "I'm taking a psychology course about the way your brain functions when you sleep," she says. "I got weirdly obsessed with psychology in college, but I'm mostly taking it because the professor reminds me of Kevin Spacey. Picture Kevin Spacey lecturing you. It's amazing."

Stylist: Luigi Tadini / Hair: Miok for Wella Professionals for Judy Casey, Inc. / Makeup: Genevieve for Sally Harlor

Eve wears a jacket and skirt by Versace, shirt by Sophie Theallet and jewelry by Eddie Borgo.

Web Series Made by Hand Celebrates Sustainable, Old-School Crafts

From the Brooklyn-based film studio Bureau of Common Goods comes Made by Hand, a beautifully shot web series that celebrates local, sustainable, old-school crafts, including hand-rolling cigars or the art of bee-keeping. Sure, we can all roll our eyes at the artisanal glut spilling forth from Brooklyn these days, but these arguably gorgeous videos offer a non-preachy glimpse into the lives of dedicated folks who are honing their crafts in an increasingly industrialized society. Check out a couple below. [Made by Hand]

Made by Hand / No 3 The Beekeeper from Made by Hand on Vimeo.

Made by Hand / No 2 The Knife Maker from Made by Hand on Vimeo.

David Bazan of Pedro the Lion on the 10th anniversary of his band's landmark LP, Control

DavidBazanMagnum.jpgIn the decade since Seattle's Pedro the Lion made their album Control, core member David Bazan has battled alcoholism, broken up the band, left the Christian faith he was born into, and started a family that now includes two children. All the while, untold numbers of kids, Christian and atheist alike, have held Control as a life-changing album -- a stark, booming song-cycle full of crumbling families, soul-sucking careers and good old American emptiness.

To celebrate the album's 10th anniversary, Bazan, now 36, is out playing Control front-to-back. (He and his band will be at Mercury Lounge tomorrow and Music Hall of Williamsburg on Thursday.) PAPERMAG caught up with him last week as he sped along the I-90 toward Chicago. A soft-spoken man who'd rather stop talking than dish up a sound bite, Bazan still told us a few things about his turbulent decade, receiving text messages while he's onstage, and wrestling with his three-year-old.

I heard you were playing your set in Minneapolis when Obama won the election.
I got a lot of texts all at once while I was standing there, doing stage banter, and people were starting to murmur at the same moment. You could just tell that something was going on, and I looked at my phone and saw that Obama had won. So it was a lot of relief for me and my guys.

You leave your phone on during shows?
Yeah, I have it on vibrate in my pocket.

Is this part of your Q&A format?
No. I don't totally know why. Sometimes Caleb, our tour manager, will text me and will say like, "MERCH MERCH MERCH MERCH MERCH." But that's the extent of it.

How does this tour feel different from ten years ago, when you were first promoting Control?
The facts of my life are different and a lot more settled than they were ten years ago. For one thing, I was still Christian in 2002. Maybe a year away from really starting to feel the shift begin, but that year I was probably still grappling with the deep sense I had that there was nothing wrong with being a homosexual, and yet I was still trying to make sense of what I perceived the Bible would say about that. So there were just a lot of points of tension within me.

Do you still play Christian festivals?
I played Cornerstone in 2009. Before that, 2004 was the last time. We had played Purple Door in 2001 maybe, and that one felt gross so we didn't go back.

When Control came out, did it feel like an exponential lift for Pedro the Lion?
It wasn't exponential; definitely there was some growth, though. It was growing a little bit every time. Up through Control it felt like I was on track and things were growing both externally and internally, and it was maybe after Control, during Achilles Heel when the wheels started to come off. I was becoming a drunk then. But after Control, everything was firing on all cylinders.

Is there a song that seems more poignant to you than others now?
That's a tough question to answer in a way that I think is accurate. The song "Options," at times I've thought was a little cartoony or kind of absurd. But the longer that I'm a grownup, the more it rings true. The chorus of the song ["I could never divorce you without a good reason / And though I may never have to, it's good to have options"] serves the function of what a lot of people are actually saying in their wedding vows, rather than what they're giving lip-service to. All these songs mean a lot more and are more poignant to me in the context of the entire album than any of them working on their own. So it's kind of nice to play them in context.

I love the Deerhoof collaboration you did. Any plans to do more with them?
They solicited my involvement on that and I was overjoyed. If they ask again, I'll say yeah for sure. After [making the 7-inch], Greg [Saunier] emailed me and said, "Thank you, we really appreciated the black humor of the song," which made me feel really god. Actually, when you called, I was about five songs into their album The Runners Four.

What else are you listening to?
We all like the new Chris Cohen record a lot. We were all listening to Gang of Four's Entertainment! the other day. This American Life is a huge favorite of everybody in the band, and also On the Media. Fresh Air with Terry Gross.

Are there TV shows that you guys all watch together?
What did we watch the other night? We watched Winnebago Man, that documentary. On the last house show tour that was a two-piece with Andy Fitts, we watched all of Breaking Bad together -- neither of us had seen it and our wives weren't particularly interested. So that was great.

I just finished Season 4.
Keep going, man! Did it end with some kind of explosion?

It sure did.
Oh God.

What's your life like off the road these days?
I go down to my rehearsal space usually 9 to 5 every weekday, just to write and record or clean up or get ready for rehearsal or experiment with a synthesizer plug-in or whatever it is. [My family and I] have breakfast together every morning and have dinner together every night at home, and once in a while we'll have a movie night. My son is three and so he always just wants to wrestle. "Let's wrestle, Dad!" I'll be like, okay. We started wrestling so much that he'll be out of breath, like, "I'm tired, I need to sit down." We just like each other's company.

Does your eight-year-old come to shows when you play in town?
She has been to one or so, but it's not like a big thrust or anything to make sure that they're at the shows. My wife, you know, when we played a show at this big venue, the Showbox in Seattle, it didn't even cross her mind to come to the show until I was like, "Babe, it seems weird, I know, but I'd really like you to be there. I think it's kind of a big deal." So then she came and was really happy she did.

Henny Garfunkel's "Sleeping In Public With Fabulous Old Ladies, Big Butts and Some Celebrities" Opens in SF

HGsun.jpegLongtime Paper friend Henny Garfunkel, who has been letting us post her fabulous celebrity portraits from various film festivals on our website for years, has an exhibition of photos opening at Modern Appeal Clothing in San Francisco tomorrow night. The show's title, "Sleeping in Public With Fabulous Old Ladies, Big Butts and Some Celebrities," is, well, awesome. Though Garfunkel's career has been split between editorial work, photojournalism and still photography for films by John Waters, Todd Solondz and Pedro Almodóvar, she mostly considers herself to be a street photographer. The show, which features Garfunkel's work from 1983 to 2012, documents the many people she's encountered through her daily life in New York City and her travels around the world. Per the press release, Garfunkel explains her show's inspirations:

Fabulous Old Ladies: "When I first went to Miami Beach in 1981 I saw two incredible things: crumbling deco buildings that were inhabited by the most colorful and amazing women I'd ever seen. Their husbands were dead, but their spirits were alive. Neither of them are there today."

Big Butts: "A friend and I decided to put an ad in the Village Voice offering free portraits to overweight people who wanted to have their biggest asset photographed. Accidentally I gave people a chance to show off a body part that they're normally shy about. As it turned out, everyone's an exhibitionist."

Sleeping In Public: "In our 24/7 world, everyone's tired and catching a few winks anywhere they can."

Celebrities: "The photos shown at MAC are from the ongoing 'Signed Polaroid' series in
which I take a Polaroid at the end of a photo session and then give it to the talent to sign
and play around with. I've always seen myself as a bit of an outsider, and I enjoy photographing people who society also considers outsiders. When I think about it, celebrities are also outsiders, and so its perfect."

The exhibition's opening party tomorrow night is from 6 p.m.-9 p.m. and Henny's photos will be on display through December 29th.

Modern Appeal Clothing,
387 Grove Street, San Francisco


Things We're Obsessed With: Séamus Gallagher's Drawings

17-year-old Canadian Séamus Gallagher is making a name for himself on Tumblr with his witty comics and illustrations. Poking fun at Internet and pop culture, Gallagher's line drawings reference everything from Lana del Rey's deeply problematic interpretation of Lolita (ugh, has she even read the book?!) to the Hurricane Sandy Instagram frenzy. The boy's work is awesome and consistently refreshing and funny. Call us when his book comes out! In the meantime, we'll be LOLing at his Tumblr

A Teenager&dddd#8217;s First Camera.jpeg

The Art Issue

ODB Murals + Kraftwerk's Homecoming = Eight Items Or Less

1. On the eighth anniversary of the rapper's death, Ego Trip collects thirty murals of Ol' Dirty Bastard. [Ego Trip]

2. Usually we at PAPER try to hold off on holiday cheer until after Thanksgiving, but Sufjan Stevens's "Happy Karma Christmas" is kinda groovy. Stream it, and the rest of Stevens's new Christmas album, Silver & Gold, above. [Bandcamp]

3, 4. East Village real estate news: LES streetwear shop aNYthing is moving to 103 Allen Street, while music venue Nublu is moving up Avenue C. [Bowery Boogie, EV Grieve]

5. Bright Future's probably-NSFW video for "MIT DIR" stars photographer Sandy Kim and is, according to director Carlos Santolalla, about one of those typical 'YouTube personalities' but told from the other side, as a fly on the wall perspective."

6. Liturgy's Hunter-Hunt Hendrix performs selections from the libretto for his opera "OIOION," which combines elements of William Blake's "Milton" with primary texts from the lifespan of his "transcendental black metal" project. Tonight at Printed Matter, 195 10th Avenue at 5:30. [Issue Project Room]

7, 8. Out-of-town concert recs: For those who missed them at MoMA in April, Kraftwerk is bringing their "Retrospective 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8" to their hometown of Dusseldorf in January. Meanwhile, DJ /rupture, Venus X, and Sun Araw perform this Friday at Tijuana's Norte Sonoro. [Kunstammlung Nordrhein-Westfalen, Facebook]

A Look Inside "Wrinkles of the City, Havana, Cuba" by JR & José Parlá

French artist JR, whose signature black and white photographic murals have been pasted all around the world, collaborated with Cuban-American artist José Parlá to create the upcoming book "Wrinkles of the City." The duo photographed and recorded 25 seniors who have lived through the Cuban revolution, pasting their portraits alongside calligraphic writings on the walls of crumbling Havana buildings as a means to magnify their history in an urban setting. The book, which comes in at 160 pages covering the project, is set to come out in December. There's also a big book launch party and screening of an accompanying documentary during Art Basel at the Standard Hotel, who are publishing the book. Below, see some images from the book featuring the murals.


Tips For Today: Super Supra Diluvian + Chris Black's "Analogue/Visual"


PERFORMANCE: Jen and Outlaw's "Super Supra Diluvian: at Allegra LaViola
Jen Catron and Paul Outlaw's messy interactive performances have so far included a food truck serving Southern-style crayfish and a human-powered fountain in which performers spit water at passersby. Tonight they plan to "gild" themselves in a send-up of art-world excess, attaching themselves to a wheel that will regularly submerge them in golden liquid. Guests are invited to participate in activities including a one-of-a-kind "ridable sculpture." The show also includes a series of collages exploring mythology and contemporary culture.
Allegra LaViola Gallery, 179 East Broadway. (917) 463-3901. 6 p.m.

ART: Chris Black's "Analogue/Visual" at Avant/Garde Diaries
Papermag columnistChris Black(Words for Young Men) presents the installation "Analogue/Visual." Check out the accompanying mix from Them Jeanshere.
The Avant/Garde Diaries, 372 Broome St. rsvp@theavantgardediaries.com. 7 p.m.

CABARET: Our Hit Parade at Joe's Pub
A troupe of some of the best New York cabaret performers join hosts Kenny Mellman of Kiki and Herb fame and crass dynamo Bridget Everett at tonight's installment of wonderfully weird revue Our Hit Parade. Mellman, Everett and tonight's guests, including Cole Escola, Cheryl Freeman and Molly Pope, perform their amusing interpretations of pop hits currently topping the charts. (For a taste of the insanity you can expect tonight, here's Escola performing Taylor Swift's "Fifteen" as "a business man from the city" whose father died of Lou Gherig's disease and who is returning to his childhood home after 10 years. What? Exactly.) Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette Street. (212) 539-8778. 9:30 p.m. $20.

Morning Funnies: Channing Tatum Is King Of Living, Sexy Men + Joe Biden's Carmen Sandiego Cameo

channing-tatum-300.jpgChanning Tatum is People's Sexiest Man Alive. Here is his totally unsexy, modest-but-still-totally-sexy-because-he's-so-modest quote about what went through his head when he found out he won this illustrious title: "My first thought was, 'Y'all are messing with me. I told [my wife] after we'd been in the bathtub washing our dogs because they'd gotten skunked." [via Gawker]

upinmysnatch.jpgAn ABC affiliate in Denver accidentally showed this doctored cover of Paula Broadwell's All In while covering the utter fuckery that is the Petraeus scandal. [Gawker]

Joe Biden's going to be on tomorrow night's episode of Park and Rec! First, watch this clip of him on Where In the World Is Carmen Sandiego from 1993. He looks like a million damn crime bucks. [Buzzfeed]

lolsofunny1.jpgAmy Poehler's excellent fancy pizza recipe. [PleatedJeans]

Nick Offerman's very special Movember PSA: "It Gets Fuller." [DailyDot]
zQQo6.jpgSnoozin' pig, snoozin' pug. [Reddit]

guyfieri_web.jpgThough even bothering to review Guy Fieri's Times Square restaurant feels like irresponsible journalism on the part of the New York Times, Pete Wells' evisceration of Guy's American Kitchen and Grill is a must-read litany of withering rhetorical questions for Fieri. Our favorite: "Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?"  [NYT]

tumblr_li4dtm5WrU1qzbgr1o1_500.gifElectric guitar squeal, air punch. [via WTFSoFunny]

tumblr_mde0sn43hv1qzwt0go1_500.gifZooey Deschanel, the blond days. [TallWhitney]

tumblr_mdfsllo9zJ1qz6f9yo1_1280.jpgDon't buy iceberg lettuce. [ThisIsntHappiness]

bigdintown.pngHead's up, everyone. [TheClearlyDope]

The More the Merrier: The New Crew of Artists, Galleries and Curators to Know Now

Mother Mother's "The Sticks" Is Our Music Video of the Day


Three slimy creatures rise from an ecological disaster and where do they go? In this brilliant clip for "The Sticks" by Canadian rockers Mother Mother, the mutants head off to Pumperz Gym to get buffed up while chugging on Cafe Max.  he track is from the Vancouver-based indie band's fourth album -- out in the US in February -- and the video was animated and directed by Chad VanGaalen. VanGaalen is another Canadian artist who, besides being a super-talented illustrator, has released several albums through Sub Pop and also records under the name Black Mold.

Lauren Hutton Wrestled An Alligator + Proenza Schouler Tapped Into Second Life in Today's Style Scraps

chait.pngGreg Chait of L.A.-based label The Elder Statesman won the 2012 CDFA/Vogue Fashion Fund. He'll get $300,000 and a lot of coverage in Vogue. Congrats! [via The Cut]

Behold, a Second Life video made by Proenza Schouler to showcase their Fall collection. For a second there we thought it was Azealia Banks' new video for "Atlantis," and let's be honest, she wouldn't be out of place here. [via High Snobette]

Screen shot 2012-11-14 at 11.28.12 AM.png
We love this V editorial shot by Nick Knight which plays into women who look more traditionally 'masculine' to the point of gender obfuscation. [via V

At Glamour's Women of the Year Awards last night, Lauren Hutton told The Cut that she once wrestled a 400-pound alligator for Helmut Newton.

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Nicolas Ghesquière designed five Pudsey bears for a LOVE Magazine-helmed charity auction at Christie's. These are probably (and, most likely, inadvertently) some of the last things he created for Balenciaga. You can start your bidding tomorrow. [via Press Release]

givenchy-scraps.jpgWould someone mind quickly stopping by Givenchy on their way home and picking us up a few of these S/S '13 accessories? [via HypeBeast]

Traditional English brand Brooks asked a bunch of product design students from London's Royal College of Art to create what its founder would be creating "if he were alive today". The results are pretty cool and wouldn't be out of place in an upscale store in Williamsburg. [via Selectism]

First Impressions: Big Boi Previews Vicious Lies and Dangerous Rumors

Last night, Outkast hero Big Boi previewed selections from Vicious Lies and Dangerous Rumors, the follow-up to 2010's critically-revered Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty. As fans and press filled Converse's Rubber Tracks studio in Williamsburg, Sir Lucious played over the venue's PA; it then played again as they sipped flavored vodka cocktails. Eventually, DJ Cut Master Swift took the decks, and apologized: "I know they been playing that Lucious Left Foot over and over and over and over and over and over and over." He introduced a guitarist in drummer, both in Big Boi hoodies, and led them through a selection of Outkast hits: "Bust," "ATLiens," "Rosa Parks." Swift traded fours with the drummer over "B.O.B." A metal chair, painted purple, stood empty near the lip of the stage; one started getting the feeling of being Eastwooded. "Enough of this, where the fuck Big Boi at?" Cut Master Swift asked. A label flack held up five fingers. "Let's freestyle it," Swift announced, leading the band into "Spottieottiedopalicious." The dreadlocked guitar player sang in falsetto: "I'm from the other side of town." Another handler handed the DJ a CD to play, and took the microphone to introduce the "Grammy award-winning, diamond-selling" rapper. "It's gonna be popping."

Finally, Big Boi ran out to a barrage of camera flashes and a double-time soul beat, an entrance that called to mind James Brown. Jogging in place and flapping his camouflage-clad arms, he gave off the impression of a G.I. Joe figure manipulated by unseen forces. Unlike, say, his Atlanta compatriot Gucci Mane, Big Boi always gives off the impression of being right on the beat, more mechanical than conversational. He introduced the first song as "Apple of My Eye" and launched into another called "CPU," with a Lil B-style shoutout to "the age of information." He ran through the Kelly Rowland collab "Mama Told Me," (originally recorded with Little Dragon), then retired to the back of the stage to consult with Cut Master Swift and a woman in a red scarf. Eventually they figured out how to play the recently-released A$AP Rock/Phantogram showcase "Lines." Big Boi dragged the empty chair to a position in front of the turntables, where he bobbed his head and adjusted his sunglasses for the rest of the night, occasionally mouthing a lyric or yelling a "yeah" into the microphone. Nothing was as out-there as Sir Lucious Left Foot's "Tangerine" or "Shutterbugg," but even those songs took a while to sink in when they were released; it's hard to imagine Big Boi fans being disappointed by the new album. "In the A," an exercise in Atlanta mythology with compatriots T.I. and Ludacris, featured syncopated Lex Luger-style orchestra stabs; "don't get stunned like the crocodile hunter," warned Ludacris. "She Hates Me," an emo-rap exercise with Kid Cudi, made use of mournful organ chords. After more technical difficulties ("I got a DJ with slow hands" joked Big Boi), they ran through the album opener, with boasts of being "a handsome-ass nigga since my mama wiped my bottom" and instructions to "Shazam me and then you Google Dungeon Family." Big Boi thanked the crowd for coming out to hear the record "before you buy it or illegally download it." "It's my birthday, can I get a picture with you?" yelled out a young woman from the front. "Yeah, for sure."

Vicious Lies and Dangerous Rumors is out December 11 on Def Jam. Listen to "Lines" here.

Watch Bjork's New "Mutual Core" Video For MOCAtv


Who's the master of both art and music?  It's Bjork, of course, and she's just premiered this new video for "Mutual Core," commissioned by LA's Museum of Contemporary Art for their YouTube channel.  The clip was directed by L.A. artist Andrew Thomas Huang and the track is from her Biophilia album. After Huang's award-winning short film Solipsist caught the singer's attention -- and with a gentle nudge from MoCA's Jeffrey Deitch -- the collab came to life.  For more about the video, Bjork's life in Brooklyn -- "I prefer it to Manhattan" -- and her love/hate relationship with computers, check out our Q&A with her in the November Art issue.

Check Out Seth Bogart and Brande Bytheway's Hollywood Nailz (Paper Premiere)


hollywoodnailz.jpgHollywood Nailz, the awesomely off-beat variety show from Seth Bogart (Hunx and His Punx) and Brande Bytheway, premieres today and we've got a couple of exclusive segments for 'ya. First, behold an invention to end all inventions (or at least fast food drive-thru rage) in "The Dipping Station"; next watch an infomercial for an inter-planetary love line in "1-800-69-URANUS"; and finally meet Stephen, a glamorous hair stylist to the stars (who reminds us a little bit of Ken Paves...is that mean?) in "It's Stephen!!!" Watch all three exclusive clips below and head over to the Hollywood Nailz website to scope the full episode. 

"The Dipping Station"