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The Pope's Second Single isn't Quite Holy Fire

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Remember when Pope Francis stunted on an entire continent by announcing a surprise album while he was visiting America? It was a seminal moment for papal music, weird tracks that sounded kind of like The Doors but that weren't made by stoned teens, and general Pontiflexing. But now Francis has gone too far, and fallen victim to the sophomore slump. His new track "¿Por qué sufren los ninos?" has a lot less music in it, and a lot more excerpts from speeches Francis gave asking people to, like, do good works or something. It's a lot of papal bull if you ask us. Honestly, if the third single from Wake Up! (which drops November 27, with the blessing of Arcade Fire maybe) isn't called "Big Popin'" (with a verse from Bun B), we might have to toss Francis' burgeoning music career in the Vati-can. Watch the lyric video for "¿Por qué sufren los ninos?" below, made available by Telemundo. [via Pitchfork]


James Franco Gets Photoshopped Neck Tattoo of Emma Watson, Because *Shrugs*

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Screen Shot 2015-10-30 at 12.02.24 PM.pngJames Franco took some time off from getting his MFA in squinting to get a fake neck tattoo of Emma Watson.

By fake tattoo, I mean, it was photo-shopped onto his image by artist Cheyenne Randall, who's made a name for himself doing so.

While it's clearly just another gag in Franco's tireless troll journey, and Watson will most likely take it lightly, since she and James have been "pals" after both starring in the 2013 celeb-satire This is the End, it's still pretty up there in Franco-smarm.

Not as smarmy as his potentially staged "underage Insta-gate" last year, but this stunt, which parades as some meta-mockery of creepy, possessive misogynists, just ends up feeling ... authentically sexist.

z_james_franco.jpgAnd, James, if you're really going to commit, you've already been outdone.

Screen Shot 2015-10-30 at 11.54.14 AM.pngMark Wahlberg's abs in Fear.






The Bewitching Amber Rose Gets Real On a Spooky Edition of Paper Radio

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In the spirit of Halloween, Mickey Boardman and Chrissie Miller discussed the PaperMag.com article "12 Celebrities Who are Probably Witches," parsing through the list's residents, including Zsa Zsa Gabor, Sheryl Crow, and of course, Ina Garten. The duo also talked the upcoming Hallow-weekend in NYC, with Mickey hosting a ghoulishy chic soiree tonight at the Hotel Americano, and Chrissie judging a costume event tomorrow at the Bowery Hotel. 

All of this, of course, was building up to the main event: today celebrity guest, Amber f"cking Rose, the "Chuck D of Feminists." 

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Ms. Rose talked her newly released book How to Be a Bad Bitch, where she teaches us that the BB Way is simply to "follow your own path in life, and be your own vision of yourself." She also makes sure to include getting your finances all in line; "Pay your taxes!" she instructs. 

Earlier this month, Amber made worldwide news for hosting the Amber Rose Slut Walk in Los Angeles, a demonstration that called for an end to shaming women for owning their sexuality. Amber (who has a two-year-old son Sebastian, with ex-Wiz Kalifa) says her views while being mother can be used against her. "I get downed constantly cause I'm a mom," she says, calling for an end to woman-on-woman shaming. "It starts with us," she adds.

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"Black Lives Have Mattered for Thousands of Years": A Photo Story By Kehinde Wiley

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America is a country in transition. So much of the American mythos is the notion of the city on the hill -- that we are a beacon of light for others to see our greatness, our social justice and equality. In the end, though, there have to be moments in which we step back, examine ourselves, and police our own actions. We have a black president, and that is a sign of progress in many ways, but we still read in newspapers every week about young black men because their bodies are in our streets. There's significance in that and, as an artist, I have to negotiate a response that is at once critical but also curious about how this could change. These photographs move in the direction of my aesthetic, which is decidedly art-historical, while exploring the strange intersection between that history and this particular moment in American culture.

None of this stuff is clean -- the history of art is the history of empire and social domination. As I'm co-opting the visual language of historical society portraiture, I'm very aware that those portraits, and as a result my own works, are made on the backs of every single person who came before us in the fields of Cuba, or Haiti, or Jamaica, or Brazil, or South Carolina. On some level, we're all dirty.

I stand on the shoulders of many great artists whose work emphasizes the importance of diversity in American society. Black lives matter because it's a prescient thing to highlight in this moment of cultural evolution. But black lives have mattered for thousands of years. My interest is in the now -- what does it feel like to be black in 2015?

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Left to right; Mateo shorts, Balmain jacket and trousers, Yeezy season 1 pants


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Off White coat, Mateo shirt, Yeezy season 1 pants, Armando Cabral shoes


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Harbison jumpsuit, Chelsea Paris shoes


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Left to right; Cushnie Et Ochs dress, Harbison jumpsuit, Chelsea Paris shoes, Cushnie Et Ochs top, Off White pants


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Left to right; Hood By Air coat, Mateo shirt, Yeezy season 1 pants, Camille Tanoh shoes, Hood By Air shirt, Mateo shorts, Camille Tanoh shoes, Yeezy season 1 jacket, Pyer Moss shirt, Telfar pants, Camille Tanoh shoes


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Cushnie Et Ochs fur coat and dress, Ade Samuel shoes, Khiry Collection necklace


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Harbison coat, Pyer Moss shirt and pants, Off White shoes


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Left to right; Karl Kani top and pants, Casely-Hayford shirt, Pyer Moss pants, Yeezy season 1 top, Karl Kani pants


Makeup by Kim White at Artists at Wilhelmina
Grooming by Fran Freeman
Hair by Nikki Nelms nikkinelms.com
Set design by Von Fedoroff, Matt Maher and Jane Mai
Casting by Roger Inniss for Boom Productions Inc., Kehinde Wiley Studio: Amy Gadola and Brad Ogbonna
Stylist assistants: Ofunne Okwudiafor, Kristina Brown and Shanell Scott

Special thanks to: Tiffany Reeves, Mekdes Mersha, Kimberly Gedeon, Aisha Awadallah, Ajang Majok, Shantavia Beale, Darren Willis, Antoine Boardraye, Atiba Newsome, Darnell Ross, Alaska Gedeon, Tyler Duverne, Ava Lee Carter, Bryse Steward, Nola Denby, Jaielle Alejandro Welch, Craig Fletcher, Liam Daniels and Omar Elwadi

Mmm Oh My God, There's Now A "Why You Lying" App

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Mmm oh my God, there's now a "Why You Lying" app.

That's right, there's now an official lie detector app utilizing the viral song, since the smart businessmen behind "Bruh Inc." (really) apparently recognized the value of extending the meme's shelf life. All you have to do is touch your screen and start talking, and then Nicholas Fraser himself will interrupt you if you're, uh I guess, fucking lying. Reviews of the app also claim it's remarkably accurate, so you should probably download it now.

 [h/tFader

Thank Godney That Britney Spears Seems to Be Doing Her Own Instagram

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National icon Britney Jean Spears is slayingly (why isn't this an official word yet?) back. But, like actually f'ing back. She's alive, she's happy, she's doing yoga/actually dancing.

Because, let's be real and as transparent as Brit Brit's penchant for Starbucks and vanilla candles -- the #BritneyArmy perma borders on delusional (I may or may not be very guilty) and we've been squealing "the bitch is back" ever since her 2008 "comeback" album, Circus, hit number one on many a global chart. Still, the performances weren't the pelvic-thrusting choreography circa Britney's golden years we were used to "I diiiie"-ing to. Nonetheless, we, the deluded, would tweet things like "*dead*" alongside GIFs of Britney hair-whipping her extensions during any and all post-2007 performances. We wanted to believe. We needed to. We'd never lose hope.

britnyhairwhip.gifBut then, 11 weeks ago, we actually diiiied when our icon returned. Like, full blown Brit Brit circa 2004. Goofy, talented, hot.

Personally, I believe Britney's return has more to do with breaking up with Charlie Ebersol -- you may recall Britney turning on her mic for eight seconds at one of her Piece Of Me shows to announce that "men, frankly, can suck my fucking toe." What was perhaps more awesome was when she said the past year of being single had been "very, very profound" -- the shade of it all!

sucks-my-toe.gifBut there's probably no better sign of Brit Brit being 1000% back and at 'em than the fact that she's totally, finally, running her own Instagram account.

A few of our favorite recent posts:

So nice to be home! Nothing like Louisiana boys

A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on


A bikini top-clad Britney snapping a photo on a boat with a southern stud/stranger with the caption "Nothing like Louisiana boys!" You go, girl.

Studio today! Yay!

A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on


This one of Britney in the recording studio 60 weeks ago is really fucking important. Note the pack of Marlboro Menthol Lights on the music stand behind Realney. Team Spears is loosening up! Britney's smile is alive! The Starbucks to the right probably made her glow, too.

Sunday Funday!

A video posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on



The best-mom-ever posts won't stop: Britney with her boys at Disneyland, the boys skateboarding, etc. Cute. But the cutest thing happens when Brit Brit makes headlines via an Instagram video of her zipping around what's most likely a gated community on a scooter. HELP US.
 

Also, let's meditate on the endless saccharine sea of Hallmark-y quotes. There's lots of fairy and God references.
 

There's this.

#TheNotebook #NicholasSparks

A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on


This.
 

Preach.
 

Stunning! May we all dream big 💙

A video posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on


What is this?
 

Meet Deepney.
 
 

Found the cutest little mermaid 💚💙

A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on


Here's Britney as a mermaid.

Can't get enough of the mermaid life! 😉 #Family

A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on


Here's Britney, her brother and her niece as mermaids/merman. A family affair. 

Good night sweet dreams! 🌙💙

A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on


From Ariel to Sleeping Beauty.
 

My new haircut! ✂️

A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on


Britney selfie sans filter/focus in her bedroom showcasing her fondness of her new haircut.
 

Britney and her twin, Kate Hudson.

I'm back, Vegas!! See you at #PieceOfMe tonight 😈

A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on


Britney being Britney, Bitch!
 

😜

A photo posted by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on


Oh how we've missed our totally normal Southern belle who just so happens to forever be our queen of pop. With all due respect, pop starlets, it's time to have several seats!




Every Day is Halloween: Surveying The Contemporary Goth Scene

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Goth, throughout the '90s and early '00s, was pretty resolutely uncool to people outside a very specifically circumscribed scene. Even to members of adjacent DIY subcultures (looking at you, punk), goth was kind of a laughing stock. It was viewed as too melodramatic and too outmoded, the province of sad teenagers who were outsiders even to other outsiders.




The revival of goth has been a little nebulous, a gathering mass of black-matte-lipped Tumblr teens, high fashion trends, witchy practices and older musicians who'd been quietly carrying the torch through the Uncool Years finally feeling free to fully embrace their love of chorus pedals, heavily delayed vocals, airy melodies and bleak lyrical subject matter. However the revival started, we can't deny it casts a long shadow over both underground and mainstream culture these days. There's a real deathrock/dark punk and post-punk DIY scene that's been established worldwide over the last few years -- here are a few highlights from that world to get gloomy with this Halloween and beyond.





Hailing from Mexico City, Zotz (pictured above) are faster, gnarlier and more heavily indebted to early Christian Death than many of their nocturnal peers, but they are still imbued with a dark spirit. They started the band in 2014 because they felt like there weren't enough good dark punk bands in their area, but quickly found a home on Orange County'sMass Media Records. Mass Media, which started as a home for OC peace-punk, has rallied to put out some of the more polished, realized and interesting bands in this burgeoning scene, like Moscow's Sierpien, Portland's Moral Hex, Adelaide'sRule of Thirds, Chicago's Population*, and Edmonton's Rhythm of Cruelty.

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Sydney's Mere Women (pictured above) are one of a number of Australian dark post-punk bands breaking the rules to create their own unique, bitter sound; like their countrymen Total Control, who recently finished a brilliant and often sold-out tour of the US, they don't have easy sound-alike analogues. While clearly influenced from a number of different goth and post-punk angles to snarl and sneer coldly, there's nothing too familiar about either group.




Total Control's labelmates from East Berlin, Diat (pictured below) and from Brazil, Cadaver Em Transe explore two different sides of this sound in different standout ways; Diat are the depressive keen to Cadaver Em Transe's gritty, sharp anger. Both bands write stellar, stark songs with memorable riffs. Cadaver Em Transe also shares personnel with Rakta, who are absolutely spellbinding, surreal and harsh dark punk.

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Boston's Dame put out my favorite demo of the year, six songs of hard-edged gloom anchored by big drums and propelled by intertwining synth and guitar melodies, while Western Massachusetts'Longings just released an album of taut post-punk with the full energy and drive of hardcore. The "truewave" bands also can't be denied - groups like Oakland's Street Eaters and Silent Era and Columbus'Nervosas similarly fuse punk power and sharp melancholy. Columbus is also home to Pleasure Leftists, who are as close to a ball of blackened fire as a band can get.




Go forth with these bands and bask in the glory of the night. Goth's all grown up and it's casting its own shadows as hypnotic spells these days rather than hiding amongst them.

* Full disclosure - the author was a founding member of this band but does not appear on this album.

The Internet Is Freaking Out Over This Leo DiCaprio Doppelganger

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Back in the game @danielbaardh hahah #fakkingselfie

A photo posted by Konrad Annerud (@konradannerud) on


For all of you who fancied Leo DiCaprio in his Romeo years, there's a new social media star for you -- and his name is Konrad Annerud, better known as a 21-year-old Swede has become Insta-famous based solely on his striking resemblance to baby Leo.

Yep, that's right, this genetically-blessed bartender/model/musician has over 68,000 Instagram followers simply because he looks like Jack Dawson...a fact he's (obviously) not too mad about, seeing as he told an interviewer that, "it's fun to be like him. He's handsome."

Granted, he says sometimes the attention gets to be a little much, especially when he's mobbed, like during a trip to Italy last summer where he "felt like I wanted to shave off my hair." "It was chaos," he continued. "People shouted 'Leo!' and wanted to take pictures all the time. It was the craziest thing I ever experienced.'" 

Sounds rough.

☕️ @leonardvincentrode

A photo posted by Konrad Annerud (@konradannerud) on


Foto: @watsonemmma

A photo posted by Konrad Annerud (@konradannerud) on



Katie Holmes Threatens to Spill the Beans About Scientology (Sort Of)

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Apparently there is going to be a whole 20/20 special about former Scientologist and former King of Queens star Leah Remini, who was written up by superiors in the cult for telling Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to "get a room" (sorry eighth-graders, all of you are in violation of "church" policy). Now, Us reports that Katie Holmes will speak out about the incident in the special, because she still needs to live through that part of her life or something. Except that the statement is a little... less than titillating.

Not that exciting. Maybe Katie just needed to escape the awkwardness through her secret Whole Foods entrance? Well, at least this special will be fun to watch. As long as it keeps the bad people rich and the good people scared.

Who Wore It Best? Celebrities Or Horror Movie Villains

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Happy (almost) fright night! As we all prepare to dress up like Ronald McDonald Trump or whatever, let's take a moment to appreciate the fact that so many of our favorite celebs have gone toe-to-toe with horror movie villains in the lewks department. See who wore it best below.

Screen Shot 2015-10-29 at 3.52.38 PM.png[Photo of Kylie Jenner via]

1. Kylie Jenner vs. Michael Myers (Halloween)

Kylie's giving us goth farmer but Michael Myer's jacket is very A.P.C. last season. Let's call it a draw.

Screen Shot 2015-10-30 at 4.47.24 PM.png[Photo of Ashley via]

2. Ashley Benson vs. Candyman (Candyman)

BYOB -- Bring Your Own Bees

Screen Shot 2015-10-29 at 3.55.00 PM.png3. Victor Cruz vs. Freddy Krueger (A Nightmare on Elm Street)

Victor's Givenchy sweater gets points for the stars but Freddy's gets props for the distressed details and accessorizing it with a hat and a glove with blades coming out of it. Sorry, Victor, this one goes to Freddy. 

Screen Shot 2015-10-29 at 4.34.01 PM.png[Photo of Kanye by Ryan Kobane/BFA.com]

4. Kanye West vs. Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th)

Yeezy is werking the classic Jason look and turning up the look with a velvet hoodie. Too bad he wasn't wearing one of his Margiela Yeezus masks tho.

Screen Shot 2015-10-29 at 4.36.43 PM.png5. Lady Gaga vs. Pinhead (Hellraiser)

Draped in a stunning Tilmann Grawe crystal headpiece, Lady Gaga looks like she's rocking Pinhead: the Bridal Collection. Slayyyy.

Return Of The Chin: A Conversation With Bruce Campbell

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There was a time when horror and comedy were the peanut butter and chocolate that no one dared to mix. That ended decisively with the release of Sam Raimi's debut film, 1981's TheEvil Dead which, along with its sequel, 1987's Evil Dead II, created a self-aware universe that balanced buckets of gore, smirks, slapstick, knowing callbacks and some totally sweet zombie kills. Key to making this delicate balance was the film's star, Raimi's childhood friend Bruce Campbell, who never seemed like he was taking anything too seriously, even when he swinging a chainsaw around like a badass.

The Evil Dead series launched the career of Campbell, an A-Level talent with a A++ movie star chin always most comfortable rolling around in the B-Movie sandbox. His career has included fun, pulpy TV shows (Burn Notice, Xena: Warrior Princess and The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.) appearances in mainstream hits (the Spider-Man movies, Congo and The Hudsucker Proxy), tons of cult oddities (at this point his "Elvis versus the monsters" romp Bubba Ho-Tep is nearly as iconic as his Dead work) and a few Sci-Fi channel originals. But it's Evil Dead's Ash Williams, last seen in 1992's Army of Darkness (save for a brief cameo in the 2013 Evil Dead remake) that made him a hero to the ComicCon crowd. Campbell and Raimi have reunited for Starz'Ash vs. Evil Dead, which premieres on Halloween and does not, Campbell assures his fans, tone down a thing. He's also playing Ronald Reagan on Fargo this Fall, because the man's hustle does not stop. We got on the phone with Campbell to talk about Ashing it up again and why he's not nearly as typecast as you think.

So, tell me how this show for Starz came about.

Always starting with the most difficult question. These things are complicated and take years to develop, and this particular case was a combination of the economics of the difference between movies and television, as one factor. Then there's the continued support, and then television catching up with us. Now, Starz is one of the few outlets where you can have unrestricted content. I've always hated that you had to cut it down to R ratings. You couldn't say "boo boo" words. I just want to do what we want to do and show it to people. I hate standards and practices. I hate stuff like that. I hate restriction, so this was great. When Starz came along and they told us that we could do unrestricted content, I was like, "where do we sign?"

So is it a lot scarier and bloodier and gorier than the older Evil Dead?

It's right where it needs to be. We're not doing anything different because of Starz, we're just not doing anything worse because of Starz. I mean, we're not doing anything that's more lame. If this was on cable, it would suck. It would be so tamed down and dulled down and "characters can't do this, characters can't do that." Bologna. 

Was the idea for a long time that you've always wanted to do a TV series, but you couldn't find the right cable partner that would let you do it the way you wanted to do it?

No, TV was brand new. TVs and TV shows were a brand new idea from about a year ago.

So for a while, you tried to make more movies, and things couldn't get off the ground?

Yeah, yeah, but Army of Darkness died when it came out, people forget. That basically killed the series for about a decade. And then, these direct-to-market things came out, the DVDs, "The Making Of," about 46 versions of Army of Darkness, so that brought it back. It's all those factors. 

I've been reading for a while that Sam Raimi has been trying to make more Evil Dead movies, but they weren't happening. And then when the Evil Dead remake came out that you weren't in, I think everyone assumed things were done.

We were too. Come tonight, I'll be walking on the red carpet, and I'll be very surprised. I'll have a very beguiled look on my face the whole night of like, "Wow! we did it!"

Obviously, Sam Raimi doesn't really need to be doing stuff like this. Is he making this series because he likes working with you and you have a lot of fun together?

Yeah, look, he also has a lot of nostalgia for the formative years, this is what got us into the business. We have very fond memories of at least getting into the film business together through these movies.

Now, what were some of the things that you've done on this TV series that you can't believe you got away with, just in terms of like pushing the boundaries?

I don't know, you'll have to see it. It's hard to go scene by scene. The point is, we're just not worried about anything. That's what it is. You want to put a pick ax into a guy's head? You put a pick ax into a guy's head. You want to blow a guy up? You blow a guy up. There's no verbal restrictions. There's no sex restrictions. There's nothing. This is an unrated series.

How did it feel to revisit Ash after all these years? Did it take a little while to get into the character's mind frame or was it like putting on an old pair of gloves?

Not the mind frame, that was easy. 'Cause I just like that idiot, buffoon kind of mind frame, I'm good with that. It's more just the physical side of it again. I got to do a lot more stretching now. 

Did you have to hit the gym a little bit for a little while to get into that Ash shape?

I got into Ash shape, I'll put it that way. That's all I needed to do was get into Ash shape. 

Is part of the reason this series exists that if you and Sam were doing this, you wouldn't have time to see Sam because you both have such busy lives?

That's it. Between bar mitzvahs and movies is about the only time we run into each other. So yeah, it's nice to get back with Sam and work with him on a daily basis. He's a really bright, creative director, fun guy. So that was definitely a part of the allure.

You've known each other since high school, right?

Yeah, I actually saw Sam on the floor of our junior high school dressed as Sherlock Holmes playing with dolls. I saw him in about 8th grade. 

Oh, wow. What year was that?

'71, something like that. I remember seeing him, going "that kid is a weirdo." He claimed he was making a movie, but I didn't see a camera or anyone. 

Were you guys like immediate friends, or did it take a while, like, "who is this weirdo?"

Sam was a weirdo and probably thought that I was a little weird. But as soon as we each found out that we were each making movies in our little neighborhoods, that's when it began. He's like, "you make movies?""Yeah, I make movies""whaddya got?""I got this." So a bunch of us combined forces with another group, this guy Scott Spiegelwho wound up co-writing Evil Dead II. In high school, we made probably 30 of these movies, maybe move. We were incredibly industrious. 

Do you think if it hadn't been for Sam you would've still pursued acting or do you think you fell more into it making his movies?

Oh no no no, I was into it since I was about eight. I saw my dad when I was in a play when I was a kid. And it was in an outdoor theatre in suburban Detroit. I thought it was just magical. My dad was singing and dancing, cracking jokes. People were laughing. I'm like, "what's up with this?" And so I joined that same theatre group when I got old enough. 

What sort of acting background do you have? Did you go to school for it?

No, there was no school. I earned while I learned. Evil Dead was the first movie other than amateur stuff. And then I did a couple of plays, but all amateur stuff. So not a lot, no.

You called our book, If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-List Actor, but when people first started calling you that, were you offended or was it sort of a compliment?

I don't really care anymore. I mean, one guy called me the Gregory Peck of B movies. I was like, "I'll take that." Every actor wants to be known for something. I don't really care what it is as long as I don't kill somebody.

Right, well was there ever a time that you were put off by that term?

Well, here's what it is, fans are actually more limiting and prejudiced in their mind than a film studio. I've done French films, I've played a cowboy, I've played the king of thieves, I've played Elvis Presley, I've played Ronald Reagan, so within the industry, I'm not type-cast. But ironically, I'm typecast by journalists, by guys like you, and fans, because if you only watch horror movies, then that's all you're gonna know me for. But there's people who watch The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. who don't like horror. There are plenty of people who watch Burn Notice, but not Evil Dead. And plenty of people who watch Evil Dead but not Burn Notice. I am as type cast as you think I am. But not as much as you think I am. It used to piss me off, but now I realize that people watch what they watch. If you only watch this, or you only watch that, to you, that is what I will be known as. But then, that's fine. 

Is there anything you haven't gotten to play that you'd like to?

No, I'm still going. Never thought I'd play Elvis, never thought I'd play Ronald Reagan. Never say never. 

But is there any kind of role out there like, "yeah, I'd really like to scratch Shakespeare off the list," or something like that?

No, Shakespeare has never been on my list. Willy and I are not tight. No, I take whatever comes. 'Cause I don't like the "what if" game. I don't wanna be anything.  Anything else is just a pie in the sky concept. It's just not worth thinking about.

You mentioned this a bit earlier, but in addition to the current series you have out now, you're also in this season of Fargo as Ronald Reagan. How did that come about?

Another high school buddy. John Cameron, who is now a Golden Globe and Emmy winning producer. And he and I, we used to imitate Reagan in the '80s all the time. So, now that he's a big fancy producer, he's like, "let's get my partner Bruce to come be Ronald Reagan." 

And what was your impression like back then?

Oh, probably over the top. Like Johnny Carson. The trick for Fargo is take it from an imitation to a character. So that's the trick. I was so nervous working on Fargo.

What was so nerve-wracking about it? 

Well, it's a classy show. It wins Emmys. I'm nervous about working on any shows that win awards. 

The Reagan we've seen you play so far is feels like a symbol of America going into the '80s and the coming economic downturns and general malaise. Reagan's a stand in for a lot of different things. Was that in mind when you were working on the character?

Well, that's probably in Noah Hawley's mind, it's not in my mind. He's got his big picture and the themes of the show and all that. Me, I'm just a candidate in a campaign.

Did you pay a lot of attention or like research or reading about Reagan or old news conferences to get into character?

I watched a lot of speeches. And that was very helpful, mostly to hear that he cracked jokes all the time. And to hear his jokes, they were mostly Russian jokes. He took shots at the Russians all the time. He was funny. He was like the scoldering chief. He would scold. And he seemed very committed to what he believed in. And his ideologies changed, he used to be a liberal and over time, he became conservative. He's a very interesting guy.

Were you first a fan of him back in the day?

No. Didn't do it for me. I don't like presidents who yell at me all the time. I'm not very interested in that. Hollywood actors, shut up already. Give me a break. 

Taking it back a little bit, one thing that is interesting about the Evil Dead series is that the second Evil Dead movies is one of those first movies that was kind of like actively aware of what the genre it was, it was actively critiquing other horror films. It was actively self-aware as a movie. It's now considered one of the first movies of it's kind. Were you guys aware of the boundaries you were breaking while you were making it?

Nobody's aware of what's happening when you're doing it. You have other concerns. We were concerned ''cause it was so hot. So we didn't give a shit about...

How hot was it?

It was North Carolina, it was over 100 for weeks. We were shooting on an elevated stage in an old gymnasium with no air conditioning. It was ridiculous. That's all we cared about. We cared about keeping Ted Raimi, the monster, from passing out. 

Amazing. So was that something you were surprised to learn about later, that not only did the film have a cult behind it, but people and film historians consider it historically significant?

Yeah, but that's only gonna happen with time. Evil Dead, when it first came out, half the reviews were terrible. Terrible. "The sickest of the sick," one newspaper called it. I loved the fact that now, I think we're gonna get a softer edge from the viewers because of the nostalgia. 

Is it frustrating or gratifying that sometimes, a lot of people don't like your stuff right away, but through the years, you have this huge cult followings, like "where were you guys a few years ago, or why didn't you like it?"

You gotta let things run out how they do. Some movies do age really well overtime, like a Bubba Ho-Tep, and some of them age poorly. They're not regarded or they're dismissed. Some things that you do are forgotten. You're like, "damn, how did that slip through the cracks?" The effort just has to remain the same. No matter what decade or role or who you're working for, my job as an actor is the same. And that's to try to create a character that people can invest in and go on a ride with. I'm sort of like their tour guide. Some things, people will just love no matter what. But sometimes things you think are a slam dunk they lay an egg.

Will there ever be a sequel to Bubba Ho-Tep

There was no script that was shootable that I've seen yet. I know now that if the script isn't correct, the movie will not be correct. That is your blueprint for your building. In my opinion, it's not there. So, until that happens, there's nothing to really talk about. 

When was the first time that people pointed out that you have a certain quality as an actor, that's just inherently you. You do different roles, but there's something inherently Bruce Campbell in anything you're in. 

Well, I mean every actor is interested in certain material. Like I could've done the soap opera route, but there was nothing in that that was interesting to me. I'd do a straight drama if it was really interesting to me or really well done or whatever.  But, I've always been attracted to a certain lighter type of material. A certain material that's more pronounced, stories that are a little different. That's just a personal choice.  So I'm gonna wind up in stuff like that, because I'll choose that over some steely-eyed action movie where the guy's gritting his teeth and saying one line every two hours. I've taken the bad guy role over the good guy role before. I read a script and the good guy roll sucks ''cause his line's like this, "c'mon, get down! let's go! now!" And the bad guy has all these flowery speeches and I'm like, "I'll take that guy 'cause he's a lot more interesting." 

So you kind of do whatever is entertaining for yourself.

If I read it and it's just stiff, I'm not interested. Not because I'm like, "oh! it's a movie for Paramount!" who cares?! Actors are miserable enough, why make yourself even more miserable by doing work you don't even like?

New Again: Tracing Trends from Present to the Past and Back Again

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It's not news that the past is being spliced heavily into our culture every day. What we call "referencing" has always been a part of the process that creatives love to use as inspiration to move forward. Below, Kim Hastreiter outlines a few notable examples. (For more of her thoughts on #Nowstalgia and how pulling from the past moves us forward, go here.)



backtobieber.jpgThe Whatever It's Called

(Left) Back To The Future Part II, Michael J. Fox, 1989. Photo courtesy of Universal/Everett Collection. (Right) Justin Bieber in Los Angeles, 2015. Photo courtesy of AKM-GSI


Take that crazy little two-wheeled contraption that paper's Drew Elliott floats around on in our office every day. It's not a skateboard, not a hovercraft and not a scooter, but whatever it is, it's everywhere. And although it's surely original, it sure as hell reminds us of a mash-up of the early Segway with Marty McFly's hoverboard from Back to the Future Part II circa 1989.

marcjacobs1.jpgThe King of Nowstalgia

Of everyone out there, it is Marc Jacobs who has really built his career as a fascinating and innovative commentator on nowstalgia. Jacobs has consistently, every single season, nailed the zeitgeist by reinventing and recontextualizing past cultural and aesthetic moments into a big fresh soup of mix-mashed ingredients that come together to make perfect sense of the now. His ss16 show was an amazing example of this. Staged at the deco-designed Ziegfeld Theatre, complete with old-fashioned "candy girls" handing out Twizzlers, a full-on live old-school orchestra accompanying with their crazy rendition of the Beastie Boys'  "Sabatoge" and the hashtag #marcjacobspremiere on the marquee, this That's Entertainment-inspired show referenced every decade we could think of -- but Jacobs mix-mastered it all so it felt completely fresh and new.

watches2.jpgThe watch

(Left) Braun, 1970. (Right) Apple, 2015

Take a good look at the new watch design from Apple's Jony Ive, who in the past has freely admitted to referencing Dieter Rams. The legendary industrial designer's transistor radios and stereo systems from the '50s and '60s were the basis for Ive's original designs for the iPod, iPhone and iMac, and the Apple Watch is clearly referencing Rams' watch designs for Braun in the 1970s.

perfumeart.jpgThe Artist Collaboration

(Left) Salvador Dali fragrance bottle for Schiaparelli, 1946. (Right) KAWS fragrance bottle for Pharrell Williams, 2015.

The uber-trendy notion of "artist collaborations" -- billed by many "cool hunters" as one of the freshest trends of the past two decades --  is also not a new idea. Pharrell Williams may have had the artist kaws design his fragrance bottle last year, but did you know that designer Elsa Schiaparelli had Salvador Dali dream up her perfume bottle in 1946? Riccardo Tisci may have collaborated with Marina Abramovic´ and Kanye West with Vanessa Beecroft this fall on their fashion shows, but the Ballets Russes impresario Sergei Diaghilev commissioned sets and costumes from Pablo Picasso in 1917.  New it's not.

rickowens1.jpgThe Human Backpack


Many folks got bent out of shape when they saw designer Rick Owens'"human backpacks" that he recently sent down the catwalk in Paris for his SS16 women's show. Although surely some millennials in the audience didn't realize it, Owens was clearly referencing the late Australian performance artist Leigh Bowery, whose radical work from the late '80s and early '90s inspired global edgy fashion creatives from Rei Kawakubo to Gareth Pugh to Alexander McQueen. And yes, had Owens tipped his hat to Bowery on his show program, folks likely would have cut him more slack. But hey, I would bet you money that in 1993 when Leigh concocted these contraptions for his performances, something somewhere that he had seen had inspired him as well.

cardingypsysport.jpgThe Future of the Future

(Left) Pierre Cardin, 1970. Photos © Corbis. (Right) Gypsy Sport, 2015. Photo by Rebecca Smeyne

Speaking of mix-mastering, has anyone else noticed that the edgiest kids on Tumblr seem to be referencing a late '90s-early 2000s vibe lately? From the Internet to the catwalk, we're seeing a nod back to the frenzy of the millennium -- a moment heavily influenced by the shock of a new futuristic century and filled with appropriately mod-looking fashion. y2k also marked the end of the supermodel and diversity, bringing us the trend of robotic, clone-like casting on the runways with a slightly fascist all-Caucasian aesthetic pioneered by Prada and quickly followed by the rest of the fashion world. This millennium aesthetic clearly referenced yet another mod moment -- one that had taken place five decades prior, in the glow of a different sort of technology. The new nuclear age, the nasa space program and the moon landing were all reflected in fashion by designers like Courrèges and Pierre Cardin. While the '60s and y2k showed a futuristic clone-like aesthetic of all-white sameness, thankfully the 21st century kids are turning it upside down to reflect their culture now.  Young fashion brands like Gypsy Sport, Hood By Air, Moses Gauntlett Cheng, Sadie Williams, Feng Chen Wang and Andrea Jiapei Li are not only doing their mix-up of futurist references with the past; they are also a diverse group of designers who fill their catwalks and lookbooks with people of all races, sizes, sexual orientations and gender identities -- proving that the future has never looked so bright.




The Best, Worst And Weirdest Of The Week

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Worst Makeovers: An Australian website apparently challenged users to Photoshop manbuns on various world leaders, and the results are equal parts disturbing and darkly funny. -- Sandra Song


Best Dance Moves: Two Chinese grannies had a "sexy dance-off" and China has apparently gone nuts over it. Though we can see why. TBH, we're pretty inspired to try out a few of these moves over the weekend. -- SS


Best New Classroom Motivational Poster: I haven't been this inspired to achieve my dreams since Shia LaBeouf aggressively pointed and grunted at me! Now go forth and do something "turtelly unexpected!"-- Matthew Moen


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Hottest Accessory For Fall: Carb scarves...we hear "the bagel" design is particularly popular amongst New York City pigeons. --SS

Best "Hotline Bling" Karaoke: Tyra Banks almost tweeting the chorus of the song. Well done, Tyra. -- Eric Thurm

Worst Proud Statement in a Headline: Self-explanatory. Good luck getting anyone ever to like you, buddy! -- ET



Best Superhero Trailer: Most superhero stuff is boring, but the trailer for Marvel's Jessica Jones series on Netflix makes the product look awesome. Long live Krysten Ritter, and long live evil David Tennant. -- ET

635817983912840324-pumpkin-103015.jpgScariest Runaway Pumpkin: A giant inflatable pumpkin rolled through the streets of Peoria, Arizona, a place that probably does not have an appropriate fall but has given its residents a folklore monster. Hopefully everyone will think twice before moving to this town, lest they incur the wrath of the Great Pumpkin. -- ET


Hairiest Arrest: During a local election in Ukraine this week, a man in a Chewbacca costume was apparently apprehended whilst trying to support Darth Vader...for forgetting to bring proper ID. What a space case. -- SS


Best Halloween Costume: Sorry, calling it now. A man in Brooklyn is one of Future's Gucci flip-flops for Halloween. --SS

Naomi Campbell, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner and More Partied in the Bronx Last Night

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Would you go to an abandoned warehouse filled with rusty cars and flaming trashcans in the Bronx? Would you go if there was an open bar and free food trucks and good music? Would you go if Naomi Campbell was there?!

Well last night there must have been some spooky vibes happening because not only did a slew of art, fashion and entertainment VIPs all venture to the Bronx for artist Lucien Smith's "Macabre Suite" Halloween party and exhibition, they actually seemed to get excited about it. "It's actually not that far, and it's not that bad!" we overheard a gaggle of models dressed as sexy zombies saying to model and activist Andreja Pejic in one of the cinematically macabre brick rooms of the 19th century warehouse, adorned with plush red couches, seance-style candle spreads and Lucien Smith's intimate but slightly grotesque paintings. "It was refreshing to see art in the wild, and not just on a gallery wall," said Bill Powers, owner of Half Gallery who has worked closely with Smith since the beginning of his career. With intricate chandeliers and rooms filled with candle mazes and draping vines, the space feels tactfully overgrown, with Smith's work as a bridge between old and new. The main room held one of the artist's well known disintegrating metal car sculptures, a beautifully rusty carcass of industrialism doubling as a perfect backdrop for the Insta-memories of a space that would only be in this state for a fleeting moment.

The sprawling Bronx compound, soon to be converted into luxury buildings geared towards the high-end art market, introduced a balance between grit and luxury. The courtyard, donned with flaming trashcans as fire pits that maybe accidentally but perfectly represented the undeniable gentrification of a neighborhood, supplied high-end liquor, free grilled cheese and Roberta's Pizza to a mix of artists, collectors, models, musicians and fashion designers. Elites included Naomi Campbell, Gigi Hadid, Baz Lurman, Adrian Brody, Kendall Jenner, Bill Powers, Cynthia Rowley, Dustin Yellin, and many more, with a special performance by Travis Scott. Maybe it was the new territory or the anonymity of the many costumes roaming around the new old space, but the art and fashion crowds seemed to intermingle seamlessly, across their celebrity statuses. Perhaps it was the fact that everyone checked their egos as they entered the Boogie Down Bronx but cohabitation felt natural in this borough that was both far away and yet so close to home.






















Travis Scott



Travis Scott



Boy George Said He Slept With Prince, If That's At All Shocking To You

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Ricky-Wilson-Paloma-Faith-Boy-George-and-William-of-The-Voice-UK-new-Judge-line-up.jpgRicky Wilson, Paloma Faith, Boy George, Will.I.Am

While filming the audition rounds for The Voice (UK), newly minted judge Boy George let it slip that he mayyyyyyyy have slept with mauve nymph, Prince.

B.G. and fellow judge, Paloma Faith, tried to one-up each other in terms of musical collaborations; George listed off Luther Vandross and Smokey Robinson.

Paloma informed George that if they were "throwing big soul names out there, I've performed with Prince."

To which B.G. replied, "Forget that, darling, I've slept with Prince."

tumblr_nc1g3ltciP1r5spg1o10_500.gifThe audience (and other judges) went "wild," and the show's crew was so unprepared for this lil' bomb, that they had to halt production until they cleared it up with the glittery British icon.

Boy George immediately said he was joking, but even if this was true, would it, at all, shocking?

It's PRINCE.

He is literally sex on two elegant legs.

1f739fa7955c0f4ab96c522841adc3c4.jpgI'm sure you'd feel like you boned Prince if you were simply his Starbucks barista and he asked you what the Wifi password was.

Yes, Prince has only been had public relationships with women, but does anyone actually think Prince cares what his sexuality is? OR even knows what sexuality is, in general?

His sexual orientation could very well be listed as *makes a sort of whirling sound, descending in key*

Maybe I'ml idealistic, but consider me confused as to why this would shock people: They're two iconic, ostensibly androgynous male rockstars who both came into prominence in the early 80s, and both have a seemingly infinite amount of room on their palate of perception.

Though George was probably kidding, I hope they banged hard and garishly.

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Just In Time for Halloween, Grimes Releases Terrifying New Tune "SCREAM"

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1313b80f.gifWhat a week it's been for Claire Boucher, aka GRIMES.

12115731_975356752506289_9179750222676985953_n.jpgOn Monday, the Canadian electro-siren released the first two singles off her highly anticipated LP Art Angels--the first of which, "Flesh without Blood", has enough atomic pop in it to be a top 40 radio hit.

In true Grimes-fashion, just when you begin to speculate what direction she's going, she releases "SCREAM" -- a curve ball, in the form of a shrieking banshee of rage. The Prodigy-esque track, described by the musician as "nu-metal," features a deep bass, military percussion and vocals by Taiwanese rapper Aristophanes.

aristophanes_tjdsom.jpgAristophanes

Laced in with the MC's frenetic spitfire are several piercing, otherworldly screams (by Boucher herself).

It's cathartic, innovative, and just fucking awesome; it would fit perfectly in a scene from one of the Blade movies.

Whatever's in store for us for the rest of this album, out November 6th, it's going to be huge.

Make sure to play "Scream" tonight during whatever Halloween celebration you're at; just don't be surprised if it starts a mosh pit.

For more evidence that Grimes is truly the future:
 







Spirit Voicemails and Emailed Palm Readings: Inside the Weird World of Etsy Psychics

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tumblr_mh9bagtcN61rgz930o1_500.gifI was twelve when I got my first palm reading. A spur of the moment, rom-com type thing. I followed a sign advertising $5 readings up a flight of carpeted stairs and into a hazy living room, where a woman who looked older than she was held my palm in one hand and an endless Capri cigarette in the other. Sesame Street droned on behind a curtain, accented by the patter of small feet.

"There are two men in your life right now," she informed me. "The letters I'm getting are M and J." There was an M and J, and also a S, a B, and sometimes an F. (I was boy-crazy as shit.)

"J is just a friend. You should tell M how you feel." This was exactly what I wanted to hear -- and I took her advice, even though M was dating my former friend and I was moving out of town in a few weeks. When the universe talks, I fucking listen.

I've visited dozens of palm and tarot readers since then. I even made my therapist read my astrological chart -- twice. I'm not a 100% believer, but there are reasons I keep going back. There's something super intense about a person you don't know trying to read you in an impossibly short amount of time. It's like cosmic speed dating. And of course, I love the otherworldly feeling I get when a psychic nails it. I've had more misses than hits, but I've also had complete strangers look into my eyes and read me like Zebra Katz.

Which is why I was surprised to find dozens of internet psychics chillin' on Etsy one day. You have to be down af with the universe to read someone online. (Or a top-notch Googler.) And for me, sharing energy is crucial to The Read. The best readings I've had were physical experiences to some degree -- so wouldn't an online reading fall flat in comparison?

I hired three Etsy psychics to find out -- a palm reader, a tarot reader, and one who said she'd straight up channel my spirit and send me a voice recording with her hot takes. It's been three months, so I'll grade my psychic friends based on their accuracy and the reading experience itself.

The Spirit Read ($8)

I was most excited -- and skeptical -- about the spirit read. I pictured a 40-something woman in Arizona analyzing my Tumblr for an hour, then wowing me with Realness. But it became clear I wouldn't even get that much thought. After pinging me to tell me I'd forgot to send her a question (which I hadn't realized was necessary), I sent her three. I also sent her a picture of myself and the subject of one of my questions. They were:

  1. Will my feelings about [redacted man] change when I move to LA?
  2. What projects should I be focusing on?
  3. Can I afford to worry less?

I realize the questions were vague, but I figured a true spirit reader would be able to suss out the details. Wrong. I received another email asking me to elaborate. It was a Friday night and I was in the throes of mainlining old episodes of The Following, so I decided to put off the elaboration until the morning. But I never got the chance, because in the a.m. I had a voice reading in my inbox.

Before diving in, she reminded me that she did ask for specifics, but she was going to get into it, anyway. To the first question, she said, "I have no idea what that means, but I'm getting from Spirit that the answer is yes." (Turned out to be true, against all odds.) To the second question she said, "The very first project that you started at the beginning is the one you should work on. Continue to work on the others, but put 90% of your intention into the very first one, because that's where your passion is." (I kind of asked this question because I have no idea where my passion is, I was hoping she could locate it.) As for the third question, "the answer is always yes." She said I'm taking the hard way, creating obstacles for myself, and am basically dysfunctional in my daily life. Then she told me I was going to end up sick if I didn't get my worrying under control, which is exactly what every anxious person wants to hear! But it wasn't all bad, because Spirit gave her some medical advice for me: Magnesium. Spirit told her I should take baths with Epsom salts, or at least soak my feet in them. Then she started rambling about processed foods and basically turned into an herbal medicine message board (I know because I read them).

Speaking of salty things, I was -- I'm not sure what the rush was, but it's kind of impossible to evaluate the psychic abilities of someone who went rogue with information she didn't feel was adequate enough.

Psychic Grade: C -- Spirit got one question right and provided me with valuable medical advice I still haven't used
Experience Grade: F -- Miss Cleo levels of phoned in

The Palm Reader ($50)

This reading involved taking several unflattering images of my hand against a white surface (my couch). Communication was fast and easy, except my reading came in three unthreaded emails with random words capitalized and highlighted. I was reminded that the palm reading is not a psychic reading, but a broad picture of my spiritual journey and mind. So here's my (truncated) journey:

hand 1.pngThe Personality
 
  • My long, oblong hand means I have a wonderful eye for detail, but need a lot of variety or I tend to sail off to "fantasy land" (TRUE)
  • I work well under pressure (TRUE, this is the only way I work actually)
  • A needy person will make me feel smothered, and earthy types bore me (TRUE, there's only room for one needy person in my relationships. It me.)
  • My ring finger (creativity) hugs my middle finger (business), which means I need to be my own boss (TRUE)
  • My thumb hugs close to my hand, which means I'm better at listening to other people than sharing my own secrets (TRUISH)
  • The bottom section of my thumb is longer than the top section, which means I have more common sense than will power (TRU DAT)
  • The well-developed Venus Mound at the base of my thumb indicates I'm a wonderful lover (LADIESSSS)
 
Love & Life
 
  • I love LOVE. Equality is important in a relationship but I can be too giving without minding (TRUE, although I think I'm starting to mind.)
  • I have the potential for four kids, including step-children, adoption, and miscarriages (FALSE, I hope)
  • I have two soulmates, which can include friends and pets (FALSE please?)
  • I could live until 100 (SEEMS FALSE)
  • I have a witches' X on my second wrist line, which indicates a ~magical event~ around the age of 50 (COOL)
  • I have a line running from my wrist to my hand, which can indicate I have female gyno problems (TRUE but part of having a vagina is having problems with it)

hand 2.pngPoints of Interest

  • My head line indicates that I like to work alone, uninterrupted (TRUE)
  • The top of my life line has a grid that indicates I was a sensitive, traumatized child (P. TRUE)
  • I have no retirement line, which means I probably don't work in the traditional sense (TRUE. Also super-excited to work for the rest of my life)

hand 3.pngPsychic Grade: A+! -- My hands are fugly but they're HONEST

Experience Grade: A -- The delivery method was a little unorthodox, but of all the online readings in the world, this one felt worth the money. She's the only one I'd recommend.

The 36-Card Tarot Read ($40)

This reading took the longest to complete, which was a relief after the Spirit debacle. The tarot reader provided an overview card for the next twelve months, then pulled a card for the first and second half of each month. With the gift of hindsight and the non-gift of bad memory, I will try to rate her accuracy for the last three months.

August

Overview -- Ace of Cups: New emotions, how you feel and who you feel toward. This card can hint at a new romance coming very soon, if not already there for you. If this is an already established relationship, it tends to say, things will get better in that relationship.

First Half -- Wheel of Fortune (reversed): This card talks about new situations where you are expecting it to go against you, go the opposite and favor you. Yes, it can represent gambling luck but be warned it can leave very quickly if abused.

Second Half -- The Chariot: It has two different meanings that can be linked together at times. It represents a fast trip (like weekend or less) or the conquering hero returns (overcoming a battle). What I am getting is a bit different but also much like it. You will have to make a quick trip or decision that will help you overcome a situation that you have been dealing with for a while. Once that is done, you will have a sense of relief.


No romance to speak of, but I did have my first (unrequited) crush in August after a long, drawn-out breakup. Remembering there are other men in the world who I'm sometimes attracted to definitely changed the way I feel about my prospects. Nothing fortune-y happened in the beginning of the month, but at the end of it, I did go on an overnight trip for work right after a depressive episode and returned feeling... yeah, relieved. Two out of three, not bad.

September

Overview -- Seven of Swords: Your thoughts/plans or activities are stolen from you. This could be a person in your work taking credit for your work or something similar.

First Half -- Three of Wands (reversed) - Plans and dreams for the future must be put off, for a short while. I got the feeling it was only for a season, which is either a literal season (spring, summer, fall or winter) or just means three months.

Second Half -- Page of Wands (reversed): It can represent either a young immature person or it can point to an adult that acts like a spoiled child throwing a temper tantrum. Yes it can be you or another person. Just be aware that if it is you, you will lose friends over it.


None of this happened.

October

Overview -- Six of Wands: On an emotional level this card represents overcoming an emotional obstacle and at least at some level feeling like you won the battle. This could be a general feeling as well as due to a specific situation.

First Half -- Four of Pentacles/Coins: it is time to pinch pennies and become miser like. It is time to save until it hurts, because of the little bit of financial pain now will stop an even larger financial pain later.

Second Half -- Two of Swords: you are protecting something or someone that either does not need it or more likely does not deserve it. It is time to take off your self-imposed blindfold and see things as they really are.


I've always had trouble with co-dependence, so in the summer I started seeing a therapist with the goal of moving cross-country by myself. And I did, on October 1st, and it's the best thing I ever did! Won the battle so hard. But as the cards say, I'm broke as hell -- moving costs a million dollars, and as a freelancer in a new city, my routine is... well, I don't have one anymore. As for that blindfold I like to wear, that shit has been ripped off me twice this month. Probably should've reviewed my reading before letting my Golden Retriever dopey optimism take over. There's always November, right?

Psychic Grade: B+ -- Where is the lie (September apparently, but this was pretty on point)
Experience Grade: B -- Decent delivery time, but pics or it didn't happen

The Game Has Unleashed His Monstrous Bulge On The Internet For Halloween

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Screen Shot 2015-10-30 at 2.42.34 PM.pngRapper The Game offered up a Halloween treat for the world wide web on Thursday night, posting this selfie onto his Instagram of his rippling, tattooed bod, and of course, his titanic peen, barely concealed through his briefs.

TG was apparently UNFAZED by the confines of Insta-weekly themes, and chose to kill two or ten birds with one very, very large stone, confident that we would all be "double tappin this mothafucka till tomorrow anyway."

And..I mean...he's right.

Screen Shot 2015-10-30 at 2.45.00 PM.pngForget Bieber's dick-gate, the 6'4 MC has ended the quest for the ultimate bulge AND free flop, for that matter.

There's no shortage of chivalry, though, especially with his hashtags, directing his female admirers to "#GetReadyForThe #HalloweenEdition #CuzHalfYallScaredOfThatDickAnyway in some guided imagery.

Let's highlight a few original tags:

"#TakeYourIndexAndMiddleFingerAndMakeAGun"
"ThenPutTheGunInsideYouAndPullTheTrigger"
"#CloseYaEyes"
" #AndImagineMeSlidinThatThingRealSlow"

You can see where this is heading.

Happy Halloween from The Game(s).

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From Posh Spice to Ashlee Simpson, the Scariest Pop Videos of the Early-Aughts

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Yes, duh, Michael Jackson's "Thriller" is officially the most Halloween-heavy music video of all time. We all know this. But there's so much more out there in the land of late '90s, early aughts pop videos that will haunt your soul and chill your bones. Did you know that Posh Spice once lost her damn mind in a music video? Did you even know she had a "solo music career?" Doesn't this scare you?  In honor of All Hallow's Eve, we're here to remind you of a haunting handful of vintage music videos. Oh the face-framing, chunky highlights! We shant sleep tonight.

Victoria Beckham - "Let Your Head Go"
 



Posh Spice goes rogue in her 2003 music video for this aptly titled electro-pop song. You really need to watch this whole, tragic thing. Spoiler alert: she's definitely not okay with wire hangers. She also morphs into a crow. Let it happen. 

Mel B featuring Missy Elliot - "I Want You Back"
 


Leave it to Scary Spice to get... scary... in her music video for this 1998 dark pop tune featuring Missy Elliot, which finds Mel talk-singing about a dude who she blames for her unraveling. The glam squad and the lightning crew murdered this seemingly big-budget video. Those green contacts? Need.

Missy Elliot - "She's A Bitch"



It was painful attempting to choose just one Missy Elliot music video for this list. It's like being forced to pretend that candy corn isn't disgusting, and Missy is the queen of weird a f, spooky videos. But the greatness that is the shadowy and sassy banger, "She's A Bitch," is unparalleled in the Elliot catalog. As for this fucking bananas video? Heeeeelp.

En Vogue - "Whatever"
 

En Vogue's music video for 1997's "Whatever" features the rafter-reaching belters (just three of them) losing their damn minds in a nightmarish beauty salon/cosmetic surgery lab clad in their zombie glam best. If it's an anti-plastic surgery PSA, it works.

*NSYNC - "Drive Myself Crazy"
 


Apparently *NSYNC's handlers thought throwing the boys into strait jackets and getting their mental illness on would be edgy. Not really, but turns out it is crazily cute. And, just admit it, this is a damn good ballad.

Ashlee Simpson - "Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya)"



Sorry, this (TIMBALAND-PRODUCED!) pop gem rules. The video is low-budg Tim Burton at its finest, and we do appreciate Simpson's capable acting chops.

Timbaland & Magoo - "Luv 2 Luv Ya"
 


Speaking of Timb, what happened to Magoo? *Heads to Wikipedia* Anyway, let's reflect on the brilliance that was 1997's "Luv 2 Luv Ya." It should be a requirement for this shadowy hip-hop bop to be first on all Halloween playlists. The video takes place in a haunted house with typical haunting elements: a ghost or two, collapsing ceilings, strobe lights. But what really haunts us is Ginuwine's cameo. Swoon.  

Backstreet Boys - "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)"


We had to.  

Giant Inflatable Pumpkin Unleashes Horror On Phoenix Suburb In the Name of Halloween

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74854674_Still.jpgDuring a severe windstorm yesterday in Peoria, Arizona, a giant, inflatable Jack-O-Lantern became untethered from its post, and proceeded to roll through a busy intersection, forcing cars and pedestrians to scramble out of its merciless path.

The 25-foot promotional decoration bent a traffic light, rolled for a while before gaining momentum; soon enough, it was airborne, and climbing over a wall and plowing into a business building.

Eventually, the pumpkin stopped in a nearby neighborhood, sparing the terrified Peorians any more panic.

According to the report, police are currently looking into the incident, considering the possibility that the Jack-O-Monster had been "tampered with."

TRICKSTERS! TRICKSTERS, I TELL YA!

The promotional company behind it doubts it "had an accomplice," and the reporter made sure to point out that all of the rogue gourd's terrorizing was, of course, done while grinning.

29906170001_4587906974001_video-still-for-video-4587871290001.jpgBehold the frightful might of Halloween below. 








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