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10 Thoughts on Girls' Latest Episode: "Incidentals"

Screen shot 2014-02-24 at 8.36.08 AM.pngThis week, Adam's lands a role and Hannah interviews a Broadway legend.

1. How great was Jerry Saltz's "These pretzels are making me thirsty!" moment?
I loved the two-second cameo by Lena Dunham's godfather, New York Magazine art critic, Jerry Saltz. And I loved it even more when I read that he was given three lines to learn, two were cut, and his big Girls debut saw him speaking into a cell phone "I said to get two chickens! Whoops, we're back. Okay. Bye."

2. Adam Might Finally Make a New Friend
Has anyone ever noticed that we've never seen Adam with any male friends and, with the exception of Taco, any friends period? For the past two seasons, we've only known Adam as a lone wolf  but this season, he gets more context with the introduction of Caroline. I can see Desi potentially being another vehicle for us to understand Adam outside of his relationship with Hannah. We haven't seen him interact with other males very much and I'm curious whether this budding friendship will reach Apatow-ian levels of bromance or if the two actors' relationship will self-destruct from jealousy and competition. It'll also be fun to watch Adam holding down a 'typical job' (as typical as a role on Broadway may be) and to see him have to be accountable for showing up and interacting with other humans every day.

3. It made me so uncomfortable when Hannah answered her phone mid-interview with Patti LuPone
There were so many great things about the scene between Hannah and Patti LuPone, not least of which was how much of a life fantasy would it be to get advice on matters of life and love from one of Broadway's living legends? But, bearing that in mind, I wanted to crawl out of my skin when Hannah answered her phone. Yes, it was incredibly exciting to hear that Adam got the part but Hannah's rudeness was too much. She already knew that LuPone was mildly irritated about doing the interview and part of me didn't buy the fact that Hannah would be so tactless as to answer the call and risk LuPone calling the whole thing off (I mean, Hannah was savvy enough to call the publicist and track LuPone down at rehearsal...). 

4. Hannah's facing some of the same questions -- if not yet crises of conscience -- as Major Barbara
The writers brought some sophisticated theater references into this episode by having Hannah subtly experience some of the same situations as the title character in George Bernard Shaw's Major Barbara (the play in which Adam was cast). Just like Major Barbara, Hannah gets awoken to the fact that money and resources often come at the price of integrity. Two episodes ago, Hannah first became aware of how easy it is to 'sell your soul' to corporate America and, as the title "Incidentals" indicates, this episode drove the point home. We see Hannah and LuPone flat out lie for the sake of a story (and a salary that allows her to impulse buy dresses at Intermix) and it's easy to imagine that the more Hannah gets to experience her job's perks (hello jumbo suite at the Gramercy Park Hotel!), the harder it will be to return to a life of creative freedom and broke-ness.

5. It makes sense that Ray would dump Marnie...but why was he interested in her in the first place?
While it's easy to understand why Marnie and Ray might hook up, what made less sense was the fact that Ray would actually choose to pursue her afterwards (with lattes and organic muffins, no less). Similarly, although we always liked the 'opposites attract' situation in his relationship with Shosh, it never made much sense either. Why does Ray go after these high-maintenance, princess-y girls? My theory, it turns out, is the same as Marnie's. Stung from rejection, she gets one more dig in by telling Ray, "Was this your plan the whole time, Ray? To humiliate the girl you couldn't get in high school?" We know very little about what Ray was like as a teenager but it makes him more interesting to think that he's consciously -- or sub-consciously -- trying to compensate for any physical insecurities by hooking up with these mismatched, conventionally pretty women.

6. Hannah and Marnie's moment in the bathroom was really sweet
Even though Marnie wouldn't tell Hannah why she was upset, this scene felt like one of the truly intimate interactions the girls have had for a while. Rather than trying to one-up each other (which even seemed to be happening in the only other scene that showed the girls being super close -- the scene last episode where they're talking on the bed about abandonment issues and overbearing parents), Hannah just listens, gives Marnie a hug, and accepts her and her feelings. And you know what? Immediately after that, Marnie seems to snap out of it.

7. Elijah continues to be the worst
I mentioned last week how I've started to really dislike Elijah and in this episode, he takes a page from the Hannah Horvath playbook and picks a mildly inappropriate time to try to network. While the group is celebrating Adam's Broadway role with a party in Hannah's fancy Gramercy Park hotel suite, Elijah quickly transitions from feigning excitement about Adam's part to asking him for help making introductions in the Broadway world. Uh, isn't that why you're dating a theater publicist, Elijah? What do you need Adam for? The dude hasn't even started rehearsals yet.  

8. Come. On. It's not realistic that Marnie would have an AOL email address
Though we generally thought Marnie's interactions with the super-cute Desi were perfect (of course Marnie would know a Bob Dylan song by its Michelle Branch cover), no self-respecting 21st century Millennial living in New York City would still be using an AOL email account from fifth grade. Even if she was using MarnFace1988@aol.com as her spam account -- or her "Dropbox account" -- she's generationally obligated to have a Gmail address and I'm sure that'd be the one she'd give a hot, bearded stranger.

9. What's going to happen to Jessa?
Poor Jessa. She's the kind of person that needs constant stimulation and as much as she's trying her damndest to shill overpriced children's clothing and stay sober, as Jasper points out, she's just not cut out for a life like that. Jessa never took rehab seriously so I was surprised that she seemed to be taking her sobriety pretty seriously -- all the more pity when Jasper tracks her down and peer pressures her to go on a coke binge with him. We know Jessa's had a history with heroin abuse so let's hope this relapse won't take her back to the dark place. 

10. Hannah feels threatened by Desi
After Patti LuPone freaks Hannah out by telling her that Adam will check out of their relationship and screw a million Broadway babies, it was interesting to see Hannah deal with the first perceived threat -- Desi. Instead of some long-limbed Sutton Foster wannabe, Hannah's initial test comes in the form of a scruffy "grifter" telling tales of "vision quests in Idaho" and singing Dylan covers. And though she passes off her dislike of Desi as mere "irk," the expression on Hannah's face while she's sitting on the couch suggests a much deeper feeling of insecurity.  She finally admits to Adam that she's afraid he'll like Broadway so much that he won't "like our life together anymore" and it's a very legitimate fear. As I brought up earlier, their relationship has always seemed to exist in a world where Adam doesn't have much going on besides being with Hannah. His carpentry and artwork were always something of a mystery and I never had any clue how he spent his days. And, until we met Caroline, he didn't seem to have any other people in his life. Now that he's theoretically getting both in one fell swoop, Hannah will have to deal with the fact that Adam will no longer be the same sort of predictable 'constant' in her life like he has been. He won't just be hanging out at home all day waiting for Hannah to get back so they can have sex. It will be interesting to watch the two of them negotiate these changes together and -- without spoiling a major moment in next week's episode -- whether that brings them closer together or draws them farther apart.

Best Lines of the Episode:

"I'm the laziest person you've ever met. Sometimes I just use my chest as a tray." -- Hannah

"I'd say in some ways, he's the most mature person I've ever met, in other ways, he has not yet been born." -- Hannah

"There's a lot of weirdos, honey. The elephant man got laid a lot." -- Patti LuPone

Blue Crush was so important for women." -- Hannah

"I walked all the way to the address you gave me and even threw little stones at your window until some teensy, tiny little moppet opened up, looked out, and said, 'Are you there to rape me?'" -- Jasper
"Oh, Shoshonna." -- Jessa

"Don't come crying to me when Kristin Chenoweth passes out because you forgot to feed her." -- Elijah

Ashley Williams: The 'Funkyoffish' Designer Pop Stars are Crazy For

British designer Ashley Williams aka 'Happy Ashley' was propelled into the fashion lexicon after showing her University of Westminster graduate collection in June 2012. The collection's array of Rockabilly whimsy and Americana-inspired prints effortlessly blended with sharp tailoring, earning her a spot in London's young designer incubator, Fashion East, whose alumni include Jonathan Saunders, J.W. Anderson and Meadham Kirchhoff. Adding to the buzz were her socialite-model pals Pixie Geldof and Alice Dellal (who was the face of Chanel at the time), who walked in the debut show.

Pixie_Alice.jpgPixie Geldof and Alice Dellal walking Williams debut collection in 2012.

Williams' cool-girl kitsch created an instant cult following and the celebrity fans quickly came calling. Her self-defined 'funkyoffish' aesthetic was cat nip for style-conscious pop stars like Rita Ora, Rihanna, Brooke Candy and Harry Styles (the One Direction heart throb even sat front row at her Spring 2014 show). After showing her now-iconic teddy bear bags for Fall 2013, Brit mega model Cara Delevingne was spotted carrying one, making them must-have carryalls.

PopStars_HapAsh.jpgRita Ora, Harry Styles and Rihanna are all Ashley Williams fans.

instaAshley.jpgAshley Williams' graphic prints are Instagram bait. (L-R) Fashion Editor Julia Sarr-Jamos, rapper Brooke Candy and Pretty Little Liars star Ashley Bensemon.

But Williams' popular girl status doesn't detract from her talent. Her latest show at London Fashion Week, marking her third and final season with Fashion East, was a testament to her commercial capability and bright, funky-fresh future. Inspired by Calamity Jane and Southern prairie girls, Williams' signature wit came through in country-quirk, including dungarees, bonnets, horse-head embroideries and bags shaped like Texas -- all pop-perfect for her adoring fan base.

AshWilliams1.jpgAshley Williams Fall 2014 Wild West meets Mississippi country girl inspired collection.

Three Must-See Films This Month

Jake Gyllenhaal gave one his finest performances in Denis Villeneuve's gripping film Prisoners, and here director and star are reunited in this creepy chamber piece about a dangerous doppelganger. Gyllenhaal plays Adam Bell, a sad-sack history professor who happens to rent a romantic comedy DVD and spy an actor who looks incredibly similar to him. He tracks the actor down and things get very weird. This is like an above-average Twilight Zone episode in a universe where no one seems to turn on the lights when they enter a room, but I appreciated the sinister kick at the end of this strange little film.

Grand Piano
This suspenseful sonata of a movie is about an accomplished pianist, Tom Selznick (played with feverish intensity by Elijah Wood) who is performing for the first time in years before a packed house and his adoring movie star wife. But as Tom begins to play he discovers a message written on the score that informs him a madman is pointing a rifle at his wife and he is to play without missing a note or she will die. Like all good thrill rides, director Eugenio Mira keeps the viewer as off kilter as the main character with wild twists and turns.

Stranger By The Lake
Director Alain Guirandie's spellbinding erotic thriller is set around a notorious lakeside gay cruising area. The camera's roving voyeuristic eye follows Franck (Pierre Deladonchamps) a regular at the vacation hotspot who one evening thinks he sees the hot guy he's been unsuccessfully cruising, drowning someone in the lake. He doesn't say anything and he keeps pursuing the killer, even after a body is discovered and police begin nosing around. There's a strange slow burn to this tale, offset by startling graphic sex sequences. It also captures the repetition and illicit thrills -- not to mention the real danger -- of the sexual hunt.

Chef Brandon Kida Shares His Favorite Hell's Kitchen Hole-in-the-Wall

Chef Brandon Kida_Color Room_smile.jpgEach week in our Chefs Off Duty series, we talk to some of our favorite chefs and industry folk around the country to find out their secret late-night spots where they like to grab a bite and a pint when their kitchens are finally closed. Next up: Chef Brandon Kida, Chef de Cuisine of Clement in New York's Peninsula Hotel.

Where do you like to grab a bite when you're leaving your own restaurant?

There's this one spot that's kind of a hole in the wall called Leon Bakery. It's basic Mexican food but it's flavors that I miss from Los Angeles. It's on Ninth Ave and 48th. It's really close to my house so it's something I always pick up on my way home. You know how they have the classic Mexican bakery with all those things you reach in with the tongs and grab your pastries? On that side there's tables and walls full of pictures of food. It's a tiny, little spot but they have hard-to-find Mexican ingredients like rare dried chilies.

How did you discover it?

I moved to the neighborhood four years ago so through exploring around, I [came across it].

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 4.39.36 PM.pngLeon Bakery

What are your favorite things to order?

They have a beef soup -- it's a basic, beef broth and they put in cilantro and tortillas and onions and avocado. It's pretty delicious.

Any other specialties?

They have good tamales. They have a chicken mole version that's delicious. I always get the Tamarindo soda that they have, too, it has a good bitter-sweet thing going on.

Leon Bakery, 695 Ninth Ave., New York; Open Mon-Sat, 7am-10pm, Sun, 8am-8pm

Understanding Downton Abbey Via Royalty Scholar Mr. Mickey

Now that the finale of Season 4 of Downton Abbey has left us bereft at the thought of not spending every Sunday with the creme of English aristocracy, we've decided that instead of wallowing in self pity we'll spend the time 'til Season 5 debuts (sometime in Winter 2015) coming up with our own ideas for plot twists. And, lucky for us, the truth is sometimes stranger than fiction -- many Downton storylines in past seasons have been inspired by real life.

As an American-born heiress-turned-Countess, Cora is no doubt inspired by Consuelo Vanderbilt who was married off to the Duke of Marlborough by her social climbing ultra rich mother, Alva. In the season finale Shirley Maclaine who plays Cora's mother, even makes reference to Alva and Consuelo. The Duke of Kent, younger son of King George V and Queen Mary, was a wild party boy before settling down with Marina, Princess of Greece. He was allegedly a cocaine addict who had an affair with an African American jazz singer named Florence Mills. Sound familiar? And last but not least, the evil nanny who abused poor little Sybbie also bore a bit of similarity to the Duke of Windsor's nanny who would pinch him whenever she passed him to his mother Queen Mary so his howls would make everyone think the baby was only happy with the nanny and not his nasty mum.

So without further ado, here are Mr. Mickey's real life stories that would make good inspiration for new characters joining the Crawley clan at Downton Abbey.

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 4.07.59 PM.png1. Adele Astaire

Before Ginger Rogers, dapper legend Fred Astaire's original partner was his vivacious sister Adele. They were the toast of London when they went there to perform in 1923 and Adele was a modern girl flapper, creating a sensation like Joan Crawford did in movies like Our Dancing Daughters. Constantly in the papers, she married Lord Charles Cavendish, second son of the Duke of Devonshire. Supposedly when she met her future in-laws, the Duke and Duchess, they were seated at the opposite end of a vast library at the ducal home. Adele allegedly turned cartwheels the length of the room, landing at the Duke's feet and saying, "Hello."

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 4.10.21 PM.png2. Kick Kennedy

Kathleen 'Kick' Kennedy was the favorite sister of future president John F. Kennedy and the most glamorous of all the children of Ambassador Joseph P. Kennedy and his wife Rose. Her father was the American ambassador in London in the late '30s and Kick created a sensation with her good looks and sparkling personality. She fell in love with and married Billy, Marquess of Hartington, heir to the Duke of Devonshire. Those Devonshires sure like a fun American girl! It created huge family drama because Kick was a Catholic and the Marquess was a Protestant. Billy was tragically killed in the war just months after they were married. Kick stayed in England and died in 1948 in a plane crash with her British boyfriend Earl Fitzwilliam.

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 4.10.58 PM.png3. Princess Alice of Greece, mother of the Duke of Edinburgh

Princess Alice of Battenberg was the beautiful and deaf great-granddaughter of Queen Victoria who married Andrew, the son of the King of Greece. She had 4 daughters and a son, the current Duke of Edinburgh, husband of Elizabeth II of Great Britain. In 1930 she was committed to a mental hospital after having religious delusions about believing she was married to Christ. Later she became a nun following in the footsteps of her aunt, the Grand Duchess Elizabeth of Russia who founded the first order of nursing nuns in Russia and was later killed by the Bolsheviks.

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 4.11.57 PM.png4. The marvelous Mitford Sisters

You can't talk about entertaining British aristocrats without spending hours on the the Mitford sisters, daughters of Lord Redesdale. Six 'Honorables' who were darlings of the society columns and are immortalized in the books of eldest sister Nancy who used her wildly eccentric family as inspiration for classic literary efforts like The Pursuit of Love and Love in a Cold Climate (Hello! Lady Edith can create a literary sensation with a book based on the romantic exploits of her sisters!) . The most beautiful, Diana, married Bryan Guinness and had two sons before leaving him to live in sin with Sir Oswald Mosley, leader of the British Union of Fascists. After Mosley's wife (the daughter of Lord Curzon) died, Diana married Mosley in the Berlin apartment of Joseph Goebbels with Hitler as the witness. Jessica, a devout communist, ran away with a distant cousin to fight in the Spanish Civil War before moving to America. Unity, obsessed with Hitler, moved to Munich and hung out at Hitler's favorite restaurant until she met him and became friends with him. When England declared war on Germany, Unity shot herself in the head and lived. She was sent back to England creating tabloid frenzy. Pam married a famous physicist and the youngest Deborah married the eventual Duke of Devonshire (younger brother of Kick Kennedy's husband Billy, Marquess of Hartington). Talk about plentiful inspiration!

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 4.14.42 PM.png5. Margaret, Duchess of Argyll

The gorgeous clothes horse Margaret, Duchess of Argyll made headlines for every sartorial choice she made but the biggest headlines were made during her divorce battle with her husband the Duke. What's know for sure is that Margaret fell down an elevator shaft, hitting her head. Allegedly the head trauma caused her to become a voracious nymphomaniac. At the trial her husband (whom Margaret claimed was an evil vindictive alcoholic) claimed Margaret slept with dozens of men and legend has it he produced photographs of the Duchess nude save for her signature triple strand of pearls in the company of either one or two nude men (letter alleged to be film star Douglas Fairbanks Jr and a cabinet secretary). Margaret lost the lawsuit.

"Supergeil" Is Your New Favorite Crazy German Commercial


Super Bowl commercials, shmuper bowl commercials. The best ad we've seen all year is called "Supergeil" and comes courtesy of a German supermarket chain. It stars a bearded, deep voiced German entertainer named Friedrich Liechtenstein singing double entendres, hanging out in a tub full of milk and dancing in a grocery aisle to a beat straight out of Electric Daisy Carnival. "ZUPER FRESH, ZUPER LIFESTYLE!" Could it be the new "Gangnam Style"? [via Uproxx]

tumblr_n1irq7XY7g1rqgazso1_500.jpgSummer footwear trend alert! [via adulthoodisokay]

Meet a man dedicating his life to restoring the penis on the Oscar statuette. [Above Average via HuffPo Comedy]

tumblr_n04btz4skC1r0wqrdo1_500.jpgWe're just gonna go scratch out our eyeballs now. GAHHHH. [via Coin Farts]

Meet your new favorite Tumblr: "Dancing Alone to Pony," dedicated to "all the solitary soldiers keeping the grind alive" while gyrating to the sweet, sweet tune of Ginuwine. [Tumblr via Afternoon Snooze Button]

Screen shot 2014-02-24 at 10.15.49 PM.pngIndie brands get corporate makeovers. [via Laughing Squid]

Jimmy Fallon and Fred Armisen unearthed never-before-seen footage of The Beatles talking to their fans after their appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show. They were very ahead of their time. #RedBullBeatles [via Tonight Show]

Haim Turn Beyoncé's "XO" Into a Stark Rock Ballad


We're suckers for BBC Radio 1's Live Lounge covers (see: The xx's "Last Christmas,"Angel Haze's "Drunk In Love") and today it's Haim's turn to step into the studio and give Beyoncé's "XO" a go. The sisters have already nailed covers of Miley, Sheryl Crow and The Strokes and here they strip Bey's track of some of its sweeping production layers in favor of a starker rock vibe. It's a great cover though we admit we prefer the original -- no shade.

Give it a watch, above.

[via Stereogum]

Pharrell's "Happy" Gets a Do-Gooder Animated Video


In honor of RAW for the Oceans, a new long-term collab between G-Star and Pharrell's Bionic Yarn, the producer's created a cute animated video for his single, "Happy." The clip also features Pharrell explaining more about the project, which creates premium yarns and fibers made from recycled plastic found in the ocean. Pretty cool.

"Happy" appears on Pharrell's forthcoming album, G I R L, and on the Despicable Me 2 soundtrack.

The Muppets' Statler and Waldorf Review This Year's Oscar Nominees

The world's greatest critics, Statler and Waldorf of the Muppets -- and of the new movie Muppets Most Wanted (opening March 21st) -- offer their inimitable reviews of the nine Oscar "Best Picture" nominees. 

American Hustle
STATLER: Great movie! Great cast!
WALDORF: And a great decade -- the 1970s.
S: Yeah, that movie took me back to when we were young.
W: We weren't young in the 1970s!
S: Oh darn, I must've been watching Jurassic Park again.

S: A woman goes looking for the child she gave away at birth. I have only one word to say.
W: What's that? 
S: Mama!

Captain Phillips
W: Tom Hanks is incredible in this true story of bravery on the high seas. 
S: Not only does he survive an attack by pirates, but he does it without taking Dramamine.
W: You sure this is a true story?   

12 Years a Slave
S: A powerful motion picture. 
W: Reminds me of our years with the Muppets.

W: An old guy played by Bruce Dern thinks he's won millions and heads cross country in search of his reward.
S: Heck, I'd leave here for a buck fifty. 
W: Bruce Dern is great as an old guy. 
S: Old? I've got socks older than him!
W: Yeah, and you might try washing 'em once in a while. 

S: A guy falls in love with his phone's operating system. Unbelievable!
W: Can you keep it down? I'm trying to have a quiet moment with my cell phone. Now where was I? Oh yes: I love it when you ring and vibrate.
S: Help!

The Wolf of Wall Street
S: I've never seen anything like this movie. It was wild, rude, salacious, vulgar and totally indecent.
W: You hated it? 
S: You kidding? I can't wait to see it again.

Dallas Buyers Club
W: Matthew McConaughey is incredible in this movie. 
S: I haven't seen this one yet. Do the Cowboys win? 
W: It's not a western.
S: I know that. I was talking about whether the Dallas Cowboys football team won.
W: It's not a sports movie, either. 
S: Oh...Well, then what is it about?
W: Oh, about an hour and a half.Oh-ho-ho-ho!

S: Sandra Bullock trapped, running out of oxygen, floating away into nothingness. 
W: It was very scary.
S: Reminded me of us watching The Muppet Show.
W: Not that scary, but close.

The 86th Annual Academy Awards air March 2nd at 7 p.m. on ABC

Page From Bret Easton Ellis' Yeezus Screenplay Leaks

Screen Shot 2014-02-25 at 12.40.00 PM.pngBig h/t to our friends over at SlamxHype for acquiring a leaked photo of a page from Bret Easton Ellis' screenplay for a Yeezus movie. The photo, which has annotations allegedly written by Kanye himself (Liam Neeson as Jesus? Hell yes.), shows that the script seems to mirror a scene straight out of the rapper's just-finished Yeezus tour in which Kanye meets the Messiah on a mountain. We have no idea what the odds are that this film will actually see the light of day but, in the meantime, let's start imagining who will play Kanye.*

Update: We've been told this is -- unsurprisingly -- a fake. But let's hope it sets something real in motion.

*Trick question -- Kanye will play Kanye, of course.

[via SlamxHype]

Johnny Weir's Top 10 Olympic Lewks

Now that the Sochi Olympics are over, we take a moment to look at the most important ranking of this year's games: Johnny Weir's fabulous outfits. The ice-skating superstar and NBC Olympics reporter -- who teamed up with Tara Lipinski to create the ultimate dynamic duo of skating commentary -- really brought his fashion A-game to Russia and we've rounded up the ten looks that impressed us most.

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 6.04.11 PM.png10. Even though he's reppin' the color of second place, Weir's "dapper disco ball" outfit is definitely gold.

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 6.04.21 PM.png9. This look is killer. Love the anime princess headpiece and his textured fur jacket. Very Russia-appropriate, and very chic.

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 6.04.33 PM.png8. Though this is probably one of his most toned-down looks, we love the Chanel blazer and leather leggings paired with an embellished collar.

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 6.05.11 PM.png7. Like a cross between a gentleman in 19th century romance novel and a high-fashion Rosie the Riveter, Weir's wears a flouncy-yet-masculine black blouse creates quite the look with some matching trousers and a statement necklace. And damn, look at that smolder.

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 6.05.17 PM.png6. This is one of Weir's casual day looks that could also double as a high fashion St. Paddy's Day ensemble. On a separate note, where can we find that headband?

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 6.05.26 PM.png5. Think: Edgar Allen Poe gone wild.

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 6.05.34 PM.png4. Is it Wednesday? Because Weir could totally sit with the Mean Girls at lunch when wearing this bright pink vintage Chanel blazer. 

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 6.05.44 PM.png3. Weir is definitely delivering us some Siberian realness. Not only do we love that bling and his leather pants, but also that coat looks damn cozy.

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 6.05.50 PM.png2. The return to sparkles! He could be Mr. Mickey's goth cousin.

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 6.05.59 PM.png1. "Traditional" with a twist -- his Versace leather pants, Chanel watch and Ferré blazer is like Wall Street meets West Village. I'm never going to be over my obsession with Weir.

Screen Shot 2014-02-24 at 7.30.41 PM.pngHonorable Mention
Apparently, his teddy bear/best friend Ping-chan styled himself entirely in Erickson Beamon. God, I want all of it.

All photos courtesy of Weir's Instagram.

10 Thoughts On Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: "The Fall Of the House of Vanderpump:"

Screen Shot 2014-02-25 at 4.09.52 PM.pngCarey: 1. Joyce majorly pulls at the heart-strings in this episode. Fresh off her father's seemingly sudden passing, the ladies assemble outside the airport terminal before they head to PUERTO RICO; Joyce tearfully thanks her fake friends for coming along with she and her German, big peened, Academy awar- winning husband to "MY PUERTO RICO," as Joyce says. The other women at least appear to gaze on at Joyce with sympathetic eyes. "Let's not make this trip a pity-party for me; my father wouldn't have wanted that," she says, basically telling the women to not fuck this trip up with their regular bullllllshit. They're all like, "Uh, we weren't planning on it anyway, but thanks for your permission." Yo-Yo goes in for a big lemony, Dutch hug for Joyce; Lisa hovers in the back, trying so hard not to run into the airport already,  aching throughout her entire body from not giving a fuck. 

Eli: 2) Before this, we're treated to a montage of the ladies packing to go to Puerto Rico.  Their trip will undoubtedly be a fun one with no huge emotional showdowns.  I know this because of both past examples of group vacations, as well as knowledge of their personalities.  If I had to make any predictions, it would be that they all go, enjoy  the beauty of Puerto Rico, bond more closely (if that's even possible!) as friends, and sip cocktails out of the same glass with multiple straws. "You are my rock," they all repeat in unison, as the sun sets

Eli: 3) I've been to Puerto Rico before, and it really is a wonderful country, with beautiful buildings, beaches, great food, et cetera.  However, I remember absolutely everything being covered in sweat.  Go into a corner store, put your hand down on the counter: Boom. Sweat.

Carey: 4) On the topic of Lisa, Baroness Vanderpump of Villa Rosa's power has begun to crumble, and Puerto Rico sets everything into motion. Her subjects are rising up! They've tired of her poisonous whispers; her feigned compassion and venomous games. They've tired of her burning their crop fields and slaughtering their livestock! "Ay! Me thinks it's time!" Brandi shouts, standing on a wooden box in the ashen village square, her face covered in soot; her hair adorned with soil and small grass. She stands before a crowd of townspeople, Yolanda, Kyle, Kim, shivering together in a huge wool blanket. "Time for what, Missus?" Kim asks. "Me thinks it's time to rise! To topple Villa Rosa!" The crowd gasps and backs away. They stare at Brandi -- her eyes desperate and wide. The wind blows through the village square, coating the air with white ashes from the burning fields nearby. Finally, Yolanda steps forward, grabbing a large stick on the ground and runs it through the flames of some burning garbage. And faces the crowd. "I WANT HER BLOOD!" she yells, holding up the flaming stick. The crowd roars. Kim and Kyle lace each other's fingers and hiss into the sky together.

Eli: 5) Kim took Spanish, you guys!  She spends some of her confessionals parroting back strange, out-of-context phrases.  One is "These ladies, the men with the garlic, they make the water downstairs," which I assume means that the housewives are sexually attracted to vampire hunters.  She continues to mumble in Spanish.  "Bring me ice, señor..."  "Show me to your largest train." "I'm confused by the amount of leaves on this tree." "Do you mind if I attempt to ride your cat?"  I'd love to see Kim's Rosetta Stone commercial.  "Rosetta Stone helped me convince the population of Puerto Rico that I was on a complex combination of hallucinogens!"

Carey: 6) A tropical storm of shitty things Lisa has done to the crew is converging in the Caribbean. Brandi has had a revelation that Lisa knew well before she met Brandi that her skank-queen SUR employee Scheana (also star of the boorish Vanderpump Rules) was humping Brandi's ex-husband before he was clanking hipbones with Leann Rimes, and that MAYBE...just MAYBE she conspired with Scheana and the show to hurt Brandi and get more publicity for the show, for SUR, thus allowing Lisa her own spinoff. Uh, DUH, Brandi. We can at least be thankful she came to this conclusion, even if it took her two damn years. Brandi also tells Kyle that Lisa wanted Wino Glanville to bring a stack of tabloids with Mauricio's cheating rumors as cover stories to Palm Springs to mess with Kyle. UGH.

Screen Shot 2014-02-25 at 4.11.41 PM.png

Eli: 7) I know in the scale of the show, it's pretty much old news, but Mauricio's reactions to the accusations of him cheating really don't convince me much otherwise.  It almost seems like it may have been true, but they agreed to sweep it under the rug.

Eli: 8) To be honest, Lisa probably did encourage the hurtful magazines thing, and I'm surprised it took this long for them all to figure it out.  Looking back, it seems like Lisa believes that she's smarter than any of the other women on the show, and as such, is basically just playing with them.  She most likely has a chess set stashed away in her house somewhere where all of the pieces are carved to look like little Brandis and Kims.  Ken starts barking at the women, and makes less and less sense as time goes on.  "Ask Brandi then!" he yells.  "We did just ask Brandi..." they respond.  "'Av' Brandi tell the whole 'fing!"  To his credit, he's pretty determined.  It turns out Ken is just Lisa's biggest dog.

Screen Shot 2014-02-25 at 4.10.45 PM.png

Carey: 9) Can we talk about how much of a PSYCHO Ken is? I already knew he was Lisa's sugar-crusted lackey, but he goes all out in this episode. Any time one of the ladies, notably Yolanda, tries to call the British Charlatan out for her mean ass ways, Ken pounces on them. "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO MY WIFE LIKE THIS," he says.  Lisa can't even handle being called out -- she runs away every time, crying to Ken that the other women are "so mean." UGHHHHH. At one point, in a major display of  Magenta-Stockholm Syndrome, Ken says in a testimonial, "Lisa is the best friend any one of these women could have...she is...the perfect woman," with this blank, hollow stare. Oh, hell. Yolanda and Kim lay him out, though, thankfully. Yolanda is like, "Can you not yell at me?" and "Why is someone's husband yelling at a woman?" At dinner, Kim, who already has beef with this duo, tells Ken after he dismisses her, "YOU SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTH; YOU ARE A STUBBORN OLD MAN." YESSSS, KIM, YESSSSSSSSSSS. I BOW DOWN TO YOU, KIM.

Carey: 10) I can't wait till we find out Ken and Lisa aren't even from England, and are actually from outside Orlando, Florida.

EMA (and a Bunch of GIFs) Take Over Venice Beach In "So Blonde"


"Fuck California, you made me boring," art-rocker EMA bluntly proclaimed on her single "California" off her awesome 2011 debut album, Past Life Martyred Saints. However, three years later, Erika M. Anderson (who we interviewed back in 2011) practically embraces L.A. culture in her new video for "So Blonde." The second video released from her forthcoming sophomore album, The Future's Void, out April 8, features EMA chillin' out and taking in some Venice Beach vibes as dancing animated characters that look straight out of a low-budget version of Grand Theft Auto (and were created by Molly Soda) invade the boardwalk. Directed by Vice Cooler, the video perfectly captures both the weirdness and blasé 'tude of So-Cal.

Paul Rudd Lip-Synching Is a Magical Way to Start Your Day


Paul Rudd and Jimmy Fallon had a lip-synch battle on last night's Tonight Show and it was amazing. Paul Rudd knows his way around a Queen song and a hip thrust. [Uproxx]

tumblr_n1kgvd16RR1qckp4qo1_500.pngIt's true. [RatsOff]

Magic! [TastefullyOffensive]

distinctive_artist_map1.pngThe most preferred bands of the 50 states. We're moving to Nevada. [Uproxx]

whatok.jpgPissy teen vanity plate. [JuliaSegal]

ICYMI: This commercial for a British TV network featuring a little girl jamming to "We Built This City" with her cat is a masterpiece. [Uproxx]

Schoolboy Q On His New Album, Gangsta Rap, and the Black Hippy Crew

Schoolboy Q forced hip-hop to take notice after dropping his oxy-coated 2012 LP Habits & Contradictions. Now, after months of delays, he's ready to unleash a follow-up with the Interscope-backed Oxymoron, out now, putting the streets on blast for the third time in his short career. Read his hot takes on the state of gangsta rap, beating out his Black Hippy brethren and release schedule woes below.          

How frustrating was the release schedule last year? Does pushing your album back get exhausting?

I could care less about how long I take to make my music. If I took five years, and it was a banger, everyone would be like: "Oh he's back." If you dropped it one month after your last project, people would be like: "Yo, this nigga is a workaholic." 

How do you feel about kicking off a year in which everyone on Black Hippy (Kendrick Lamar, Ab-Soul and Jay Rock) will be releasing a record?

I know they're all going to be great albums, but I want to be number one on that motherfucker. But, this year is about to be our stamp. Sure we already put our stamp on the game, but this is going to be the "You can't fuck with us" stamp.

What does "gangsta rap" mean to you right now?

It really doesn't have a sound in 2013, because there is no real "gangsta rap." This is the new sound, on my album; this is my statement on [gangsta rap]. Like when N.W.A came out, they weren't [breaks into the first bars of Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight"] making "hip-hop." They invented some shit called "rap."  

8 Fun L.A. Oscar Events for Non-Assholes

oscars-collage_photoshop_web.jpgIn L.A., there's more to Academy Awards events than black tie soirées hosted by Vanity Fair or Elton John. Oscar-mania can be found in everything from potlucks hosted by comedians to drag parties, film screenings and more. We've rounded up eight fun events that will welcome your non-celebrity self (and not just those people above).

Wednesday, February 26 

Global Green Pre-Oscar Party 
For more than a decade, Global Green has hosted a bash before the Oscars that lets the non-famous rub shoulders with Hollywood's A-List (this year's hosting committee includes Orlando Bloom, Dylan McDermott and others). Though the VIP dinner party is sold out, there are still tickets for the main event, which features Moby and The Crystal Method. Tickets for that start at $125. 
Avalon, 1735 Vine, Hollywood; 9:30 pm (6:30 pm for VIPs). Tickets available HERE.

The Toscars 
Now in its seventh year, The Toscars pit teams against one another in creating 5-minute short films that each parody one of this year's "Best Picture" nominees. Tonight each film will be screened at the Egyptian Theatre and judged by a celebrity panel. This year's event is hosted by Glee's Alex Newell and tickets are $35. For $100, you can get a VIP pass good for the "pre-reception." 
Egyptian Theatre, 6712 Hollywood Blvd., Los Angeles; 7:30 p.m. (6 p.m. for VIPs). Tickets available HERE.

Friday, February 28 - Saturday, March 1

Oscar Nominated Shorts 
Want to check out all the shorts that are nominated for Academy Awards? The Egyptian Theatre has that covered. They'll be screening every live-action short nominee at 7:30pm followed by all of the animated shorts at 9:30. On Saturday, the movie palace will host "The Art of Production Design" panel, a discussion by this year's nominees for art direction and set decoration, followed by two showings of all of the documentary shorts nominees.
Egyptian Theatre, 6712 Hollywood Blvd., Los Angeles; Showtimes vary. Tickets available HERE.   

Sunday, March 2 

The Doug Benson Movie Awards Party 2014
If you're a member of nonprofit movie theater the Cinefamily, then you have a chance to hit up comedian Doug Benson's Oscar Night bash. The Getting Doug With High comedian's party is a potluck and attendees are encouraged to bring dishes inspired by "Best Picture" nominees. But be forewarned: Benson hosts his Movie Interruption comedy series at the theater, so don't expect to watch the ceremony in quiet.  
The Cinefamily, 611 N. Fairfax, Los Angeles; 3 p.m. Members can register for the event HERE, but admission is first come, first served. 

One Dragon, One Party 
Fans of all things Middle Earth should head to the Cat & Fiddle where Tolkien fan site The One Ring is hosting an Oscar-viewing party. In years past, their events have been over-the-top, with feasts to satisfy a Hobbit appetite, celebrity sightings and loads of entertainment. This year's event is smaller in comparison, but should still be a blast for anyone who would trade a pair of Louboutins for a pair of hairy feet. Tickets range from $55 to $60.  
Cat & Fiddle, 6530 Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles; 4 p.m. Tickets available HERE.  

Red Carpets & Cocktails  
"No Tuxes," "Lots of Cocktails" and "Gays Everywhere" are the selling points for Here Lounge's Oscar Party. The West Hollywood nightspot's bash, presented by Tom Whitman, Flip and the Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles, is for the casually-dressed Award Show devotees. And after watching the Oscars, you can stick around for their after party, which features Josh Peace -- the resident DJ at Mustache Mondays -- behind the decks. Tickets start at $30 but cabana rentals are also available for a much steeper price.  
Here Lounge, 696 N. Robertson Blvd., West Hollywood; 3:30 p.m. Tickets available HERE.  
The Envelope Please 
At West Hollywood mainstay The Abbey, N.C.I.S. star Pauley Perrette is hosting AIDS Project L.A.'s 13th annual Oscar viewing party. And there's no slumming here: this one's a black tie event with a red carpet and a one-hour open bar (plus hosted Belvedere Red cocktails served throughout much of the evening). General admission is $100 and VIP tickets and cabana rentals are also available.  
The Abbey, 692 N. Robertson Blvd., West Hollywood, 4 p.m. Tickets available HERE.     

Oscar Sunday Funday 
Is there a better way to start an Oscar party than with brunch? Sassy Inc. is doing that at Eleven Nightclub with a party featuring music, drag and a themed photo booth. And put on your 'Sunday Best' -- at 9 p.m., they'll be giving out the awards for best dressed.  
Eleven Nightclub, 8811 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood; 2 p.m. RSVP on Facebook 

Stock up for your Oscar night party:

Three Fashion Collabs You Shouldn't Miss This Month


collabs_prada.jpgPRADA x Various Artists 
Inspired by Mexican political murals, Prada asked muralists and illustrators from cities like Paris (Pierre Mornet), Brooklyn (Gabriel Specter) and Bogotá (Stinkfish) to put a street art spin on the "Prada woman" for the brand's "In the Heart of the Multitude" collection, available this spring.


Louis Vuitton x Various Artists
An international who's who of street art -- Kenny Scharf, Chilean artist INTI and André Saraiva -- are teaming up with Louis Vuitton for the luxury brand's third collection of artist scarves. Launching in March, the accessories feature Saraiva's Monsieur A tag, Scharf's intergalactic pop motifs and INTI's Inca god-inspired designs. 

LeSportsac x Curtis Kulig
Coinciding with LeSportsac's 40th anniversary, the brand has tapped New York artist Curtis Kulig as the latest collaborator for their Artist Edition series. You can expect to find Kulig's iconic "Love Me" tag popping up in three different prints found on a variety of handbag styles, out now.

Paul Rudd Lip Synching: An Essential Way to Start Your Day

Paul Rudd and Jimmy Fallon had a spectacular lip-synch battle on last night's Tonight Show and all we'll say is that Paul Rudd really knows his way around a Queen song. And some sexxxay dance moves. [Uproxx]

ICYMI: This British TV network commercial featuring a little girl riding a pink bike and belting Starship's "We Built this City" with her cat is a masterpiece. [Uproxx]

tumblr_n1kgvd16RR1qckp4qo1_500.png True story. [RatsOff]

Magic! [TastefullyOffensive]

distinctive_artist_map1.pngAn infographc of the most "preferred" bands by residents state by state. Moving to Nevada. [Uproxx]

whatok.jpgPissy teen vanity plate. [JuliaSegal]


This Waka Flocka "Waffle Taco" Parody Is the Best Thing You'll Hear All Day


Waka Flocka x Waffle Taco: the best Taco Bell breakfast-inspired parody you'll hear all week. [via Hyper Vocal]

And, speaking of food-music parodies, here's "Dunkin Love." [via Buzzfeed]

tumblr_n1lnt75HmW1qjnhqgo1_500.jpgBe Mine. [via The Clearly Dope]

Minnie Driver auditions for Downton Abbey on Ellen. [via Tastefully Offensive]

Screen Shot 2014-02-26 at 6.23.04 PM.pngHeads up, Vanilla Ice is getting his own Amish-themed reality show. Fun times, fun times. [via Modern Farmer]

Screen shot 2014-02-26 at 11.15.15 PM.pngMeet your new favorite Tumblr: House of Carbs. "Let the binging begin." [via Tumblr]

tumblr_n1hmekAScK1rx79a8o1_400.jpgMust own. [via Coin Farts]

ICYMI: This Conan segment terrifically skewered Arizona's dumb-ass "religious freedom" (a.k.a. "anti-gay") legislation with this parody commercial for "Jack Dundee's All-Gay Straight-Only Adult Emporium." He even offers closets where a man and his straight friend can go hang out and relax for fifteen minutes. [via HuffPo Comedy]

Perfect Pussy's Debut Album Is Not Your Average Break-Up Record

As frontwoman for the Syracuse, NY noisenik punk outfit Perfect Pussy, Meredith Graves is about as friendly and down-to-earth as they come. And as the voice of the hottest ticket in town, she makes Perfect Pussy's frank and feral music all the more refreshing. We caught up with Graves during the band's grueling tour schedule to talk about their hotly anticipated debut album, Say Yes to Love.

What's the biggest misconception people have about your band when they hear the name?

They have some pretty dramatic misconceptions of who we are as people. I'm all for portraying every point on the spectrum of gender and sexuality, so I think a lot of people will just hear the name without having heard us and think that we're trying to portray a certain image of gender or sexuality. Hopefully when they see us, they get that we're trying to invert that.

Is there any significance in calling your album Say Yes to Love, after your breakthrough demo was titled I Have Lost All Desire For Feeling?  

It's about a very negative view of my own relationships, but also my general, all encompassing disappointment with the sort of societal tropes of marriage and family that I see so many people of my generation falling into. And I was having all these complicated feelings at the same time as I was going through a really serious breakup and writing this record, and honestly, I think I have come to terms with it, but I think it's a breakup record.

There are some very personal lyrics on this record, but they're hard to decipher. Why do you distort your vocals so much?

The sound of my voice annoys even me! But really, we're a very close-knit group of friends, and we're very into the idea of being on an even playing field. So having my voice appear as another instrument is very important.
Say Yes to Love is out March 18