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10 Observations On This Week's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Screensaver Curses & Swans

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Screen Shot 2014-02-18 at 5.42.14 PM.png1. Eli: Carlton and Yolanda finally take a trip to the friendly neighborhood House of Wicca, which has much more natural light than I would have suspected. Carlton shows Yolanda different candles that all have semi-spiritual names like "Cleansing Candle." Even Carlton seems to be a little unclear on what that means, saying she currently has one burning because she needs to [gesturing wildly up and down her body] "you know, get everything together." Yolanda seems charmed by all the different candles. The saleslady explains that after you burn the candle, you can bring it back afterwards so they can do a reading on its effects. Good to know that even purveyors of magic candles can run a scam. Also, Carlton is wearing a traditional Wiccan dog tag necklace.

2. Carey: I'm going to skip right to the most important part of this show: Carlton put a curse on Kyle's computer screensaver. Kyle heads over to Joyce's house to hash out the final deets of their big -- and most likely disastrous -- vacation to Puerto Rico. All of a sudden, a super dramatic look washes over Kyle's face and she says, "Something...happened." Joyce's eyes widen. She already knows what Kyle's going to say. Carlton HAS STRUCK AGAIN. Kyle explains that the PC her family uses in her kitchen has had the same screensaver -- a picture of her family -- for the past few years. The other day, while she was with Portia in their kitchen, THE SCREEN HAD CHANGED. Kyle shows Joyce (questionable) photographic proof of the alteration -- the screensaver now had somewhat biblical and sinister words like, "Bigot," "Traitor," "WRAITH" (my personal favorite), and "LARVA." LARVAAAAAAAAA. This "display" (sorry) of power, though, was genuinely creepy, even more so than Joyce's hubby getting food poisoning.

Screen Shot 2014-02-18 at 5.42.38 PM.png3. Carey: From "YOU ARE A SLUT. PIG." to spray tans, Kim and Brandi's friendship has LIFTED OFF! They are besties now. They meet for a little spray on sesh and vent a little. If you think about it, they're actually perfect for each other. Kim can just mutter on and on about Kingsley and her kids, how dark it gets at night where she lives, how she took Kingsley for a walk in the canyon behind her house and found a dead body... all while Brandi just sort of listens and waits for a keyword that can set her off into a tangent about herself. I am really starting to appreciate Brandi though -- I never thought it would happen, but it is. As long as she makes Kim happy, I AM COOL WITH THAT. We need Kim to be happy at all times. Anyway. Brandi goes full on nude for her spray tan and Kim gets a little chutzpah and strips down to her lacey blank bra and panties. I can't wait for the two of them to go on a singles cruise together through the Mediterranean.

4. Carey: Let's talk about Gigi's graduation party. OK! Was this even a graduation party? It was held in one of Mohamed's elaborate rooms in the basement of the house in the spirit of the "Arabian Nights" theme Gigi requested. Can you imagine what has happened in those rooms over the years? CAN YOU??? Yolanda knows so much. I think this is why Mohamed lets her use him for his big ass house. The party is basically a giant table in the center of the room where the cast of the 'Wives -- minus Kim and Joyce and their spouses and minus Brandi -- sit and eat. Meanwhile Gigi and her friends sit on chairs that are set against the wall, facing the adults. "Hey guys, come sit on a chair in the corner of the room and watch my mom and some women I don't care about and their husbands not look at us for a few hours." Gigi makes a speech midway through the party, thanking Yo-Yo, her very rich father and very rich stepfather for making her life really easy and nice. At least she's honest. The speech goes from heartfelt to please-sit-down in a matter of seconds and Gigi gets this annoyingly choked up, high-pitched, "I was sneaking shots with my friends upstairs and am probs drunk" voice. Alas, I think Gigi is remarkably humble and self-aware for being raised by the parents she has so kudos, homegirl.

5. Eli: Can we just talk for a second about how big Mohamed's house is? All you need to know to understand this fact is that he owns swans. Owning swans adds a few hundred thousand dollars in taxes, just by merit. I don't even know what you feed swans. I would guess it's just bread, but I feel like that's maybe too pedestrian for their graceful digestive systems? I wanna know who Mohamed's swan guy is or if he just got them from some sort of swan warehouse on Melrose.

Screen Shot 2014-02-18 at 5.43.58 PM.png6. Carey: There were two big Yolanda moments at this party

1. After someone calls attention to the sleeveless, billowy, sunset-colored, faux-bohemian gown Yolanda is wearing, she says, "I'm a musician's wife!" and laughs and laughs. I am now waiting for Yolanda to write a memoir and title it, Memories of a Musician's Wife.

2. After exclaiming "We forgot Gigi's cake!!!!" Yolanda brings a humungous, ugly cake down to the basement dungeon and everyone cheers. On top of the cake is a giant frosting photo of a modeling picture where Gigi is straddling a motorcycle, because nothing says "Congratulations on going to college" like a picture of you humping a motorcycle. Then Yolanda tells Gigi, "We have to stick to our diets" and there is a quick shot of the two sitting in the corner, splitting one piece of cake into several small pieces, and then a giant hole opened up in my floor and I leaped into it.
 
7. Eli: I am not a fan of Carlton and I think one of the biggest things I don't like about her is that she's one of those people who genuinely seems to think she's above everyone and everything that's going on, while at the same time being deeply, deeply involved, and loving every second of it. "It's like high school again," she sighs, letting us in on her maturity and level-headedness, before having an awkward scene with Brandi and Lisa minutes later that revolves around not accepting a gift that belongs directly in a high-school lunchroom.

8. Eli: Also at Mohamed's party, in the exchange between Lisa-Brandi-Carlton-Kyle, you can really start to see where some of these conversations start to snowball. It's basically a game of telephone where no one outright lies but each successive person changes a word or two in a quote to make themselves seem better, and by the end of it, we're working with pure fiction.  "Wasn't the necklace blue" turns into "Well, that doesn't go with it, wasn't the necklace blue" to "Does that go with it?" Maybe  part of the reason these fights never get resolved is because they're based on about 15 different possible conversations. To be honest, I think they just need to hire a stenographer on this show to follow them around so we can be done with this.

Screen Shot 2014-02-18 at 5.44.11 PM.png9. Eli: Apparently Joyce's dad died, which is very sad.  Kyle shares the news with the other Housewives, and the way they eat up this information parallels someone throwing bread to the swans out front. The more I think about it, maybe the swans are a pretty solid representation of the Housewives. Outwardly beautiful, with lovely decoration, but also violent creatures, with loud, grating squawks. And hugely protective of their offspring. ("NOT IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN!")

10. Carey: Lisa had a bad time this episode. Her former cronies  (Wino-Glanville and Yo-Yo) are beginning to turn on her, and Kyle hilariously busts her for lying about trying to stir the pot between Kyle and Carlton at Gigi's party. She is an absolute serpent woman, and has been the entire series, and I am very happy everyone is starting to hate her. But the best moment had to be her reaction to the news that Joyce's dad passed away. Lisa pauses for a moment and says in the most unconvincing tone ever recorded in human history, "OHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO." OHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO. It's worse than seeing anyone "like" someone's "RIP" Facebook status, or even worse than someone commenting on it. "So sorry for your loss!" I kept imagining a close-up of Lisa from Joyce's POV, saying "OHHHH NOOOO, JOYCE, I'M SO SORRYYYYYYYYYYYY, JOYYYYYYCE" in slow-motion. Bye, Lisa! Bye!





Hudson Mohawke Surprises Fans With Original Version of Kanye's "Bound 2"

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This past Saturday, Scottish producer/DJ Hudson Mohawke dropped an early cut of Kanye's "Bound 2" during his set in Leeds, England. Now dubbed "Bound 1," the original version features a smoother, subdued outro and lacks the song's trademark "uh-huh honey" samples. And, fun fact, apparently Tyler, the Creator contributed "drums and bridge and chords and shit" to it. Check it out above.

[via Stereogum]

Stop What You're Doing and Watch Jimmy Fallon's Barbershop Quartet Cover R. Kelly

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Jimmy Fallon debuted his Ragtime Gals barbershop quartet bit on the Tonight Show last night, performing an amazing rendition of R. Kelly's "Ignition (Remix)." [Uproxx]
 
Jimmy Kimmel did the local sports report at KABC in LA. [Uproxx]
 
chipotletumblr_n17n69MxfI1qewacoo1_500.jpgtumblr_n17n69MxfI1qewacoo2_r1_500.png
NO. WAY. [TastefullyOffensive]


Our favorite new tiny dancer, Akshat Singh, was on Ellen the other day with his Big-Wheel in tow.

XEK7.jpgBetter with age. [Mlkshk]

tumblr_n12cw09Azs1qaomh3o1_500.jpgClaire Underwood the Great [JuliaSegalTime]

XELZ.jpgWow. [Mlkshk]

XE9Y.jpgTell everyone. [Mlkshk]


Queen of Everything Elaine Stritch said the F word on the Today show because she is perfect. [Gawker]

These New Puritans Rip It Up and Start Again.

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newpuritans1.jpg
George Barnett. George wears a shirt by Saint Laurent.

"To be honest," confesses Jack Barnett, frontman of the British band These New Puritans, "we're in a constant process of alienating our audience all the time." It's not entirely clear from his slow and careful monotone if he's being honest or deadpan -- but it's also not hard to understand what he means. TNP's 2008 debut Beat Pyramid won over young indie fans with its brash brand of shouty, guitar-driven post-punk, and the band just as easily left them behind with 2010's Hidden, an enigmatic flurry of brass, woodwind, Japanese taiko drums and children's choirs with barely a guitar in sight -- a near total departure from the sound of the first record. Its strange complexities and charms made it a critical smash, if not a commercial success.

But as their most recent -- and no less challenging -- effort, last year's Field of Reeds proves, people-pleasing was probably never on the agenda. The album might be their most unconventional one yet, expanding on the experimental orchestration of its predecessor with a roster of over 25 musicians and Portuguese jazz singer Elisa Rodrigues on lead vocals alongside Jack.

TNP consists of twin brothers Jack (on guitar and vocals) and George (on drums), who grew up in the English coastal town of Southend-on-Sea, along with their childhood friend Tom Hein (on bass) from nearby Billericay. The band first came to prominence in 2006 as part of what the British music press dubbed the "Southend Scene" -- a collection of good-looking teenagers in referential bands who played at the local music club Junk and briefly took British indie music by storm. Alongside groups like the Horrors, the Violets, Errorplains and Neils Children, TNP were hailed as part of a new musical moment that, according to Jack, felt exciting, if a bit misleading. "Musically, we didn't have a lot to do with each other," he says. "But it was a powerful thing. We just assumed that all towns had this at the time, but then you'd go to Middlesbrough and you'd realize there's nothing going on except playing gigs in Chinese restaurants."

newpuritans2.jpgTom Hein. Tom wears (left) a shirt by Saint Laurent, (right) a T-shirt by Diesel and jacket by Prada.

Today, TNP are one of the few bands still going strong from that scene, although the fan base they have now may look a bit different -- and no doubt a little older -- than it did back then. "The albums themselves are kind of like snapshots," says Jack. "So you see this radical change quite gradually."

Still, Jack cringes when reflecting on the band's first studio release and the permanent reminder it offers of his teenage tastes. "I can't really relate to it anymore," he says of Beat Pyramid. "I was between the ages of 16 and 18 when I wrote the music. For this album, the words became more important. So I sang them even quieter. The first album was, you know...just shouting," he laughs.

His brother George disagrees. "Beat Pyramid is a great record," he says. "I feel really proud of all of our records. They're all a bit different but it feels like the same band." For George, who splits his time working as an in-demand model -- currently he's the face of Burberry's Brit Rhythm fragrance -- the crossover of his two careers is a deliberately limited one. "I do it to make money so I can do something creative," says George. "But really, it's two separate worlds."

"People think that you aren't authentic because you've also made money doing fashion stuff," he reasons. "But at the same time it opened our minds to doing what we want if there's money and time."

newpuritans3.jpg Jack Barnett. Jack wears a T-shirt by Diesel, shirt by Burberry and jacket by Saint Laurent.
 
Regardless, George's success in fashion is hardly surprising -- and perhaps underscores one of the most interesting aspects of this band of brothers. Just as each of their albums feels starkly different from the one before, the twins themselves seem to have little in common. George, naturally outgoing and talkative, looks at home on the catwalk and onstage, whereas Jack seems almost resistant to the limelight. "I always have this idea of being able to sit on the side of the stage and not actually do anything," says Jack. "With Elisa singing [on Field of Reeds] I'm sort of one step closer towards that." George doesn't bother trying to explain what his brother means. "If you spend your life being really close to somebody, you know what they're on about," he says. "We're quite opposite, but we're two halves of the same coin."

Differences aside, the band's focus now is readying their first complete live performance of Field of Reeds at London's Barbican Centre in April. Backed by a full orchestra, the event, TNP Expanded, will allow both the band and their audience a chance to finally experience the album as it was recorded, alongside a catalogue of old and new material reworked especially for the show.

Following that, a slew of new projects will roll out over the course of the next year -- including a book, an exhibition, a cluster of American tour dates and their fourth album. "It isn't going to be more commercial, but I think it will be slightly more accessible," says George of the new material.

To which Jack adds, "Change is only natural."

Styled by Victoria Gregory / Assisted by Molly Taylor
Makeup by Michael Gray at David Evans Artists / Hair by Kevin Ford at David Evans Artists

Melbourne Nightlife Insider's Guide to the City

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Courtney_Barnett.jpgCourtney and her bandmates

Each week in our column, "No Sleep Til...," we'll be talking to cool kids around the globe, asking them to fill us in about the bands, DJs, music venues and night spots they and their friends are obsessing over. Next time you visit their home city, leave your Fodor's and Lonely Planet guides behind and go party like a local instead.

Name?


Courtney Barnett

Age?

26

Where do you live?

[Outside of Melbourne] in Thornbury. Next to Northcote. It's about half an hour outta the city, so it's sort of suburban; there's lots of trees and parks and birds.

What do you do there?

I'm a musician. [Ed note: Catch Courtney's live show this Friday or Saturday in NYC]

What does your music sound like?

Treble heavy guitar, straight drums, solid and repetitive bass. No fancy shit.  

Outside of music, do you you have a job or go to school?

I've been a bartender since I was 18, but I'm taking a break while I'm doing all this touring. I do a bit of artwork on the side and that pays some bills.

What Australian bands or DJs are you obsessed with now?

I love Spinning Rooms, Atolls, Eagle and the Worm, Teeth & Tongue, Harmony, Dan Kelly, You Am I, Something for Kate, Big Scary, Darren HanlonAugie March, the Drones, Died Pretty, the Saints, Go-Betweens, and Divinyls.

Where are the cool places to see live music in Melbourne?

The Tote, Northcote Social Club, Some Velvet Morning, Old Bar. They're all slightly different sizes and vibes, but the general vibe is a good one. Good people, no shitty attitudes. Tote is generally slightly more punk, garage, metal. I saw Hunx and His Punx there last year -- loved it. NSC is very broad, but normally always good. Some Velvet Morning is tiny tiny, holds about 30 people, but the gigs are always really special and intimate. Old Bar is just awesome, it could have its own TV show.

What are the cool Melbourne neighborhoods for young people to live and hang out in?

Hm, I don't know if I'm an authority on what's cool or not. I've lived in Thornbury/Northcote for about 4 years now and I love it. I hardly leave here if I can help it. I lived in Collingwood for a bit and that was cool. Everybody says Fitzroy is the "cool" place to live. They've got some great records stores and book shops.

Describe your perfect night out in Melbourne.

See three great bands with a great sound guy and no dickheads yammering behind me saying how much they love live music and then having loud beer-skolling competitions in my ear with their back to the stage.

What's your favorite bar or nightclub in Melbourne?

I don't really go anywhere except those places I said before. I like to justify standing around drinking by watching a band. But if I had to say one it'd be Yellow Bird on Chapel Street.

What's a bar or nightclub you would NEVER go to in Melbourne?

About 95 percent of them. I don't like pokie/gaming clubs. I don't like dance clubs. I do like old-man pubs where you can sit around and do the crossword in the newspaper with the bartender.

Check out some of Courtney's music recs:

The Spinning Rooms -- "It Can't Not"


Eagle and the Worm -- "Angela's Lonely Heart"


Teeth & Tongue -- "Good Man"


Harmony -- "Water Runs Cold"


You Am I -- "Trigger Finger"


Big Scary -- "Twin Rivers"


Check out Courtney's nightlife listings:

The Tote, 67-71 Johnston St, Collingwood VIC 3066

Northcote Social Club, 301 High St., Northcote VIC 3070

Some Velvet Morning, 123 Queens Parade, Clifton Hill VIC 3068

Old Bar, 74-76 Johnston St, Fitzroy VIC 3065

Yellow Bird, 122 Chapel St, Windsor VIC 3181


More from our 'No Sleep Til...' series including nightlife and music in Paris, Mumbai, Seoul, Bogotá and more!

Santigold Teams Up With Jay Z's Favorite Sock Brand

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14_SANTIGOLD_LOOKBOOK5_1170_776_s_c1.jpgFormer Paper cover girl Santigold has teamed up with Stance -- the way cool sock brand that's a favorite of Jay Z's (he's also reportedly an investor) -- on a new three-piece collab. Inspired by her travels, music influences and style, 'The Santigold Collection' includes 'Brooklyn Go Hard' (bottom, left), which nods to her 2008 song of the same name with Hova and features exclusive sketches by artist Thom Lessner and 'Kilimanjaro' (bottom, right), whose design was inspired by a trip the singer took to Tanzania. Additionally, Santigold and Stance are giving 20% of the proceeds from sales of the 'Kilimanjaro' design to Charity: Water. The collab launches today and you can find the line at Nordstrom, Opening Ceremony, Colette, Unknwn Miami, Wish, Brooklyn Museum, and on Stance.com. Scope the goods, below.

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Basquiat Nudes: He Would Love These Photos Says Paige Powell

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103_63525534741987625010346064_21_RNPP_2014116_PM_107.JPGPaige Powell at the opening of Jean-Michel Basquiat Reclining Nude. Photo by Patrick McMullan.

If you haven't yet taken in Paige Powell's photographs of Jean-Michel Basquiat at Suzanne Geiss Gallery, Jean-Michel Basquiat Reclining Nude, the time is now. The show's eight powerful, in-your-face images documenting the late artist relaxing nude at home comes to end this Saturday. With this show, Powell has raised eyebrows and taken some in the art world out of their comfort zone, with a few describing the work as exploitative.

Perhaps in response to the controversy, Geiss and Powell have decided to wrap the show with a panel discussion addressing a different view of controversy. Simply called, "Looking at Male Nudes" the panel will convene on the 22nd at 6 p.m. at Suzanne Geiss Gallery, and will feature Michaela Angela Davis, Nelson George, Kalup Linzy, and others discussing "the uneasiness of male objectification and the female gaze." (Press release below.)

Full disclosure: Powell has been a close friend of mine for over 20 years and I applaud her for putting herself out there in this risky way for her first show. This particular show, featuring eye-popping nudes of one of the art world's most mysterious superheroes taken way too early by addition, is only the beginning of what is to come from Powell. The negatives for these photos, along with thousands of others, had been stuffed into boxes in Powell's Portland garage for the past 30 years. Recently, with the encouragement of friends and help from some local archivists, Powell has started pouring through her stockpile treasure trove of negatives. She's already lined up many more fascinating shows of her recently unearthed work to be released over the next few years. These images will undoubtedly emerge as a stong and deep body of work that is an important document of New York's art world and the pop culture surrounding the '80s and '90s. Here, she chats with me about Jean-Michel Basquiat Reclining Nude, her archives and what's next.

Kim Hastreiter: How did your show at Suzanne Geiss come to light?

Paige Powell: A week after I started at Interview, in 1981, I was invited to go up to see Stefan Eins' artists space called Fashion Moda up in the South Bronx. That was when I decided I really needed to start documenting what was happening there -- it was this really raw space that attracted artists and people like Rammellzee, Kool Koor, Daze, Lady Pink and A1 had work there. I bought my first piece of art ever at Fashion Moda -- a train car door for $250 that A1 had painted. He was a terrific artist.

Those were the early hip-hop days.


Yeah. I was so excited, I went back to work and kept trying to get people to go back up there with me but nobody wanted to go to the South Bronx. There was so much amazing stuff up there, but I didn't think enough people were seeing it. I was staying in this empty apartment on the Upper West Side and had no furniture. I thought 'maybe I can just do a show of this work there.' The owners of my apartment lived in Switzerland. It was a pretty tony co-op. I sent them a letter asking for their permission to do a show for Rammellzee and they agreed. We wanted to put everything under black light and they said they'd even help pay for the lights to be installed.

So this is how you started showing in your apartment?

Yes. After that show, I started doing these little mini openings and cocktail parties at my apartment after work. I was more of a friend to the artists than a gallerist. I was trying to help them out and get them exposure --  I'd give them 90% on sales keep 10% commission to cover my expenses. I'd get the invitations for the openings done at Tiffany's. I had a fancy bartender from Texarkana come and do the hors d'oeuvres. Really, my 10% didn't even cover the party expenses but I didn't care! Who cared back then about making money then? It was about getting by and having a great time. And, hey, I was having a great time.

What was an ordinary day in your life like back then?

I'd get up really early. I was kind of a jock -- even if I'd only gotten a few hours of sleep the night before, I'd get up and run over to the reservoir. Jean Michel would go with me and smoke joints on a bench while I ran. He'd say, "I don't know why you have to do that to be a regular person." I'd get in to Interview around 10 a.m. Andy would come in later for lunch. We'd have Bianca Jagger or another socialite or celebrity over for lunch. Musicians, actors, all kinds of people came in. It would either be catered or we'd go out. We had a charge account at Le Cirque, and we had a charge account with a limousine company but we didn't even have hot water in the office. It was very high-low. Once Andy came into the office, he was there for the rest of the day til dinner. He always wore white New Balance tennis shoes. If he he had a nice dinner to go to after work, he'd just paint the tennis shoes black.

How did you start having shows by Jean-Michel your apartment?

I first met Jean Michel at his loft in '82. I was going out with someone named Jay Shriver at the time, who was Andy Warhol's technical assistant, and he took me over to Jean's loft. I remember getting off of the elevator and he literally walked his body right into mine. He wanted to go out with me and he didn't know I was going out with Jay. I asked him if he wanted to do a show at my apartment and he agreed right away, before he even knew any of the details. Jean Michel didn't have a gallery at the time -- it was after he had left the Annina Nosei. He had Larry Gagosian doing a show for him in LA and Bruno Bischofberger in Switzerland wanted to work with him, but he wasn't doing anything at that time in New York. And so I went on to show his work in my apartment after that for a year.

For a whole year?

Yes. Then we were together, we were a couple. He kept bringing in more paintings. He'd do paintings and drawings.

And did you sell a lot?

Everything we showed sold. The most important painting he ever did, the most epic painting of his entire life, is called "the Mitchell Crew." We sold that in April 1983. It's a huge triptych about the housing projects in the South Bronx.

Who bought it?

A couple of art collectors in their mid-80s named Mort and Rose Newman. They were amazing. They were from Chicago.
 
How much was it?

I think it was $9,000 or $10,000. I still have the receipt.
 
$10,000 was a lot for those days.

Yeah. It's probably worth way over $50 million now. And the couple never even showed it. They died and their son inherited the paintings. He keeps it in their townhouse in Chicago. People haven't seen it. It's epic. I have this really interesting recorded conversation I did back then with Rammellzee sitting in front of the painting, talking about it. The Mitchell Crew kids -- that was A1, Toxic, Kool Koor and some of their friends, these kids from the Mitchell projects -- would come over to the apartment and hang out. Rammellzee was really angry about the painting. He didn't like that Jean Michel came from a nice middle class background growing up in a town house in Brooklyn and was lifting from these kids who lived in the projects. He just went off the deep end about it. Rammellzee had a very close love with Jean Michel but they would have huge fights. They would get really angry with each other and they were both jealous. Jean-Michel brought him out to Los Angeles once with him and Rammellzee got all of the attention because he was so charismatic. They had this rivalry that went on for a long time. And it was very extreme and up and down -- one second they were screaming at each other, the next they were laughing and smoking a joint together.

Screen Shot 2014-02-18 at 5.27.20 PM.png Installation View: Paige Powell, Jean-Michel Basquiat Reclining Nude, The Suzanne Geiss Company, NY. Photography by Adam Reich

So how did these particular photos of Jean come to light?

Jean-Michel was my boyfriend, but we lived apart.  I lived on the Upper West Side and Jean-Michel lived on Crosby Street. Andy Warhol had offered Jean an enormous studio in a building he owned on Great Jones Street that was $4,000 a month. Jean-Michel was panicked about it and didn't think he could afford it, and although he eventually moved there he would still come up and stay with me. He would stay up all night painting and then go downstairs and smoke joints and just kind of hang out. I eventually got kicked out of the apartment because of that. The photos were just about that -- he's just hanging out. He's not posing for a magazine or asking someone to film. He's showing another side to him. It's more personal.

Was it normal for him to just be hanging out naked?

Yeah. Sometimes he'd paint naked. He'd also paint wearing nice suits. These photos in particular were taken after we'd gone to a movie and had dinner. We were just hanging out in the apartment. It was a Saturday or Sunday evening -- you can see a Sunday New York Times on the futon in the background. We were just having fun -- he always had a joint. I kept thinking about these photos and I was talking to Suzanne Geiss. She agreed right away to do the show without even seeing them.

Is it true he watched cartoons?

Yeah. He made me promise that I wouldn't tell. He repeated this so many times, "Paige, don't ever tell people I get my ideas from cartoons." I never said a word to anyone about it. I felt like it had to be a secret until a couple of years ago. I was talking to someone about him and it just sort of slipped out. I bottled up a lot of my past. It's been cathartic, to go back and talk about it. But it also feels awkward -- almost like learning to ride a bicycle, because up until now I never really articulated or had to explain or discuss this past. It's been almost 30 years.

I think you were a little traumatized, too. You lost Andy and you lost Jean-Michel. And so many people were taken by AIDS at that time.

It was like a war had hit New York City and taken the best people from us.

paigepowell-basquiat.jpg Paige Powell with Basquiat's Dos Cabezas, 1982.

Did you feel like you had to get out of New York right away, because of everything you'd been through?

I was here for a few more years. At that time I got really into animal rights activism and animal rescue. I started a show with the writer Tama Janowitz on Manhattan Cable Access called It's a Dog's Life. Cats' Too. And Sometimes Birds. It was like a cross between Grey Gardens and QVC.   

And then you moved to Portland, where you are originally from.

Yeah. I was the only continuing thread from Andy's Interview magazine. I was the only person left from when he had been there and [publisher] Sandy Brandt didn't want me to leave. When I told her I was going to Portland I said I'd give her six weeks, because I had arranged to have my apartment subletted to someone then. She said six weeks wasn't enough time, and that she'd need six months for me to transition out. She offered to put me up in a hotel and I'd always wanted to stay at the Chelsea. So I moved all of my stuff into storage units, moved to the Chelsea, went to Portland and stuffed all of my photos, ephemera and negatives into this house. There were things in the garage, under the bed, in cabinets, in closets. Wherever I could.

I've known you for more than a few decades now and have rarely seen you without a camera in your hand, snapping away. I know these photos of Jean-Michel are just the tip of the iceberg. You've had thousands of negatives in Portland sitting in your garage this whole time.
 
There are a lot of photos left over from that time. But I also had a lot of negatives stolen. I lost a lot from camera stores stealing them. I would take the film to get developed, they'd see photos of Andy Warhol or Keith Haring in the photos, and they'd be gone. I'd get a bunch of random negatives of furniture stores sent back to me.

How did these images of Jean make it from your garage to a gallery wall?

I met the musician [Pink Martini founder and leader] Thomas Lauderdale a year after I moved back to Portland and we became really good friends. He'd come over and see everything I had and kept telling me I needed to do something with all of these boxes. He's been after me for like 15 years to get this done. Finally, he came and got them and hired 11 library scientists to come in begin archiving them. I have boxes and boxes of negatives that aren't even attached to the contact sheets. I couldn't have done this without him.

Has Thomas gone through everything?

Oh no -- we're only about 2% into what I've amassed. I have a massive amount of negatives and videos.
 
You've met so many brilliant artists over your career. A lot of your work was taken in social situations -- parties and dinners. If you've only mined 2% of the photos in your archive so far, I assume there will be many many more shows to come. I hear you're thinking that your next show will be photos of artists eating, right?

Yes. You see, I was never a formal photographer. I was always sort of a fly on the wall. I have lots of personal photos of people eating. People like Stephen Sprouse, the Clemente family, Robert Rauschenberg, Andy Warhol. So many people.  I also want to do a show of just photos of artists laughing. Both Andy and Jean had these amazing laughs. Jean-Michel had a really crazy, deep infectious laugh.

What about doing a show of pictures of celebrities with animals? You must have a lot of those.

I do. We had dinner at Judith Leiber's house once and I have a photo of Andy holding her little Westie. They both have the same face in the picture. And Andy had dachshunds, Amos and Archie. But they were a little crabby.

I also heard you have tons of photos you took of Andy with his eyes closed. Why did he always close his eyes when you photographed him?

I took hundreds of photos of him like that. He used to take a black magic marker and use it as a photo shop and fill in around his neck. And I have lots of photos of cute boys, too. And cubs. Area. After-hours places. Brownie's. I loved Brownie's. It was a Hell's Angel's club on Avenue A. They'd open on Thursdays at 10 at night and go until Monday morning. I'd go in the afternoon. You'd knock on the door to enter.

What about the people who have said this show is exploitative or disrespectful to Jean? Were you surprise by people's reactions to this show?


I'm really open to conversation and dialogue about it. I wasn't surprised at all and I feel secure in my choice to do it. The reason I can stand up for this show no matter what, in the face of any animosity, is because I asked myself what Jean-Michel would think. And I believe he would love it. He was very proud of his body and he'd been photographed nude before. I just know he would love these photos. And then I thought about what Andy would think. And I knew he'd be rocking in his grave over this, he'd be so jealous. It was more important to think about what Jean's opinion and Andy's opinions would be than anyone elses. It felt right and I felt strongly about it. I wanted to go super big with the images so people could experience, when they walked in, the immediacy and intimacy of being with Jean-Michel. Thanks to Suzanne Geiss, the gallery did a beautiful job. It's exactly how I envisioned it.



Screen Shot 2014-02-18 at 6.00.56 PM.png

Sign Up For Netflix's "Browse Endlessly" Plan

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Do you frequently spend whole nights deciding what to watch on Netflix? Well now you can cancel that $13.99 subscription and get on the $5/month "Just Browse" plan that lets you scope hundreds of movies you've always wanted to watch but will never actually take the time to sit down and do it. [via The Clearly Dope]


Hannibal Burress and Paper Beautiful Person Taran Killam appeared in a video last night to announce Bonnaroo's lineup, which is awesomely going to be headlined by Elton John and Kanye. Keep an eye out for Wayne Coyne, a chicken, Ben Folds, a garden gnome of some sort and more funky freshness. [via Bonnaroo]

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Word to the wise. [via Humor Train]



Here's a cute Royal Tenenbaums parody with pups. [via Laughing Squid]

tumblr_n19gvzvVFf1qa0uujo1_500.jpgOh yes, New Mexico, oh yes! [via Nerve]

tumblr_n0y1l4IFU21qz6f9yo1_500.jpgJust John Waters with his parents. [via Trill Adam Clark]


Larry David was *almost* cast as Frank Underwood in House of Cards. Here's what the series would have looked like if that had happened. [via Funny Or Die]



Jonah Hill came by the Tonight Show and he and Jimmy Fallon had a Twitter conversation IRL. The Internet is #Blessed. [via Tonight Show]



And, speaking of Jonah Hill, here's a clip of a pre-Superbad Hill playing a Rick Rubin-esque producer that records a song about handjobs with Maroon 5. [via Gawker]

The Internet's Best Digital Shows

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A web series used to be something that unemployed actors did to kill time between auditions. Now a web presence can be just as valuable as a juicy part on AMC (or a sex tape). With improved production values, talent pools that rival those of network television and shows like Broad City getting primetime cable slots, it's a good time to be online. Here we highlight some of the best on the Web.









The Afghan Whigs Channel John Wayne In "Algiers"

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After a 16 year recording hiatus, The Afghan Whigs return with their long-awaited album Do To The Beast on April 15th. For their first single "Algiers," the band created a Western-themed video directed by Phil Harder that features Greg Dulli playing an updated badass cowboy, riding around in a stretch limo throughout a town that looks like it's straight out of a Clint Eastwood movie. As any good Western does, the video turns into a violent bloodbath.

Moby's Cult Following Photographed -- Apocalypse Now!

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BFA_3664_403387.jpg(Photo by Joe Schildhorn/BFAnyc.com)

Producer/Artist/Longtime Friend of Paper Moby recently caused a stir when he published an Op-Ed in which he argued that New York "had entered the pantheon of big cities that people visit and observe and patronize and document, but don't actually add to." A resident of the Naked City since the '80s, Moby moved to L.A. in 2011 and has since expressed his feelings that where artists and creatives are concerned, L.A. provides a freer, more supportive environment than New York; he discussed how L.A. is a city in which less emphasis is placed on success, experimentation is encouraged, and failure is tolerated (and even expected). In that same piece, he describes his other main attraction to City of Angels: "its singular pre-apocalyptic strangeness." To that end, the producer has spent the past two years working on a photography exhibit inspired by the apocalypse and its role in the formation of cults, many of which famously made their homes in the Hollywood Hills. The show, Innocents, opens tomorrow at Hollywood's Project Gallery and we had the chance to talk to Moby about his photos, hear why he's "ripe for conversion" into a cult, and get clarification about his New York vs. L.A. comments once and for all.    

Tell me about the exhibit. What are some of the influences behind the show?

In a strange way, September 11 was an influence because I was in New York on September 11 and it's also my birthday. Something I noticed that was really odd in the wake of the tragedy was that you could take a picture, for example, of a can of beans in a supermarket on September 10th, and then take a picture of a can of beans in the supermarket on September 12 and somehow it had a different significance. Like, collectively we all added this strange significance and meaning to it just because something was taking place after a huge, tragic event.

So the theme of the show is this idea that the apocalypse has happened. A few years ago, some friends of mine started getting obsessed with this idea of the Mayan apocalypse happening on December 21, 2012 so I started thinking things like, "What if the apocalypse actually has happened and suddenly the same sort of approach to the mundane and the banal that fills our lives would have a different meaning. Like a picture of a supermarket pre-apocalypse would somehow have different meaning and significance post-apocalypse. Even though the supermarket itself would be the exact same thing." I liked this idea of taking the commonplace and almost adding these sort of -- for lack of a better expression -- semiotic layers. Some of the pictures in the show are fairly neutral pictures but they have this subtext that they're photographs taken either during or after the apocalypse.

Moby_Innocents_9.jpg Moby, Innocents, 2013

And how does this idea of cults fit in?

A lot of cults have this belief that the apocalypse is just about to happen and they're the ones who are gonna be prepared for it. I thought it would be an interesting idea to create this fictitious cult [in the context] of reacting to an apocalypse that has already happened as opposed to a cult anticipating one.

What does this cult look like and behave like post-apocalypse?


This post-apocalyptic cult of innocence is all based on the idea of shame -- both personal and collective shame -- and that's why they're doing everything in their power to conceal themselves.

Shame towards what?

For destructive behavior. It's shame towards their role in a society and a culture that was just incredibly, unnecessarily destructive.

Moby_Innocents_4.jpgMoby, Innocents, 2013

Were you looking at any particular cults for inspiration? As weird as this sounds, do you have a favorite?

My "favorite cult" -- insofar as you're allowed to have favorites -- is The Source Family. One of the reasons they're my favorite is because compared to most cults, they really were incredibly benign. The cult leader had been a business man who started a vegetarian restaurant and he became a hippie and starting teaching meditation and so his restaurant was filled with glamorous, beautiful people and he had glamorous, beautiful employees working there. And they all moved in together and it was this sort of funny, kind of stylish, sex-driven cult. They were all 20-years-old, really attractive and wearing these amazing white robes and sleeping with each other. And of course, like all cults, it went wrong but it didn't go wrong with anyone killing anyone else. There was no mass suicide, no murders -- it just went wrong in that the head of the cult decided he was god and could have sex with as many cult members as he wanted to. They're my favorite just because they made such an effort to be as glamorous as possible. You see pictures of them in 1970 on the beach and it looks like a film shoot.

Using the term 'cult' loosely, are you a cult follower of anything or anyone?

I'm kind of surprised that I've never belonged to a cult because I was so ripe for conversion. 'Cause I have to admit -- and this is kind of embarrassing -- I really love joining things. In high school, I became a punk rocker so I was part of the hardcore punk cult and then I got more involved in electronic music and rave culture and I just happily wore those clothes. And now I've been a vegan for 26 years and that has cult-like qualities. Had there been more active cults when I was growing up, I'm sure I would've been in one of them just because there's something really comforting about being in a group of people and getting the sense that there's a leader that knows what's going on. I grew up in Connecticut in the '70s and then in New York City in the '80s and there wasn't much in the way of cults in those places. I think had I grown up in Los Angeles in the '70s and '80s, I would definitely have been a very active cult member.

Moby_Innocents_5.jpgMoby, Innocents, 2013

Why do you think cults have flourished in California so much more than anywhere else in the U.S.?

One of the things that's definitely contributed to L.A.'s weirdness and the growth of cults here is that you can do things in private that you can't do in most big cities. You can go behind the gate of your house and have complete weird, suburban privacy in the middle of the city. And also L.A. has this strange combination of the banal suburban with really disconcerting, grand nature. You have these strip malls right next to mountain ranges. I find there's something about the juxtaposition of those two things that's really fascinating -- the strip malls that are so cheap and tawdry and the mountain ranges that are so ancient and stolid right next to each other.

L.A. has such weird zoning -- or lack thereof.

L.A. is a big, strange, uncohesive suburb. To a large extent, that's actually why I really love it. I love the disconcerting lack of cohesion and just how vast it is. The fact that there really has never been zoning so you'll have a beautiful Frank Lloyd Wright house next to a trailer park essentially.

Moby_Innocents_8.jpgMoby, Innocents, 2013

Let's talk about New York vs. L.A. and your feeling that New York is less hospitable for artists these days.

The thing is, I was born on 148th St. and I spent most of my life living in New York and I still think New York is one of the most beautiful, remarkable, dynamic cities on the planet but in a way, I almost feel like New York is a victim of its own success because since it's such a wonderful place, every rich person on the planet wants to live there. The result is that most of my friends who are struggling, aspiring artists, writers or musicians unfortunately can't afford to live there anymore. Honestly, most of them are moving here -- to L.A. Just because they can still afford the rent and still have enough space to do their art.

So would you ever move back to New York?

If I moved back, I would probably end up living in the far reaches of the outer boroughs. I lived on Mott St. for a long time but everybody I know is moving further and further away to either Innwood or Ditmas Park or Bed-Stuy. But I won't ever for a second malign or criticize New York because it is so remarkable and tolerant and wonderful and I think it's really exciting that Bill de Blasio is the mayor so I could see moving back at some point.

Innocents runs at Project Gallery (1553 N. Cahuenga Blvd., Los Angeles) between February 21-March 30 





Will Ferrell in a Spandex Butler Costume on The Tonight Show = Magic

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Will Ferrell dressed in a skin-tight butler uniform and skated to the Downtown Abbey theme on last night's Tonight Show. It was glorious. [TonightShow]

 racoonscat.gifSorry, man, sorry. [FYeahDementia]



Thank you! [FYouNoFMe]

JhMU6mW.jpgUSA! USA! [Reddit]



For those of you who peaked in high school: It doesn't get better. [Uproxx]
 
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I see what you did there, Jonas. [Mlkshk]

XGNE.jpgHave a great weekend! Love, Thriller Squirrel. [Mlkshk]



House of Cards: 10 Thoughts On the First Three Episodes

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Screen Shot 2014-02-20 at 5.52.36 PM.pngI binge watched all of House of Cards in a little over a day -- here are 10 thoughts on episodes 1-3.

1. Season 2 Has Definitely Not Mellowed Out the Underwoods

As season 2 begins, we revisit our favorite power-crazed couple on the most harrowing run of both seasons. We've been watching them jog for a year or so now, so you'd think their endorphins should be flowing and mellowing them out. But, obviously, you'd think wrong. And, as we left off last season, Frank is now the Vice President of the United States of America -- the perfect position for him to play the Iago to the President's Othello. It will be interesting to see how many schemes Underwood gets away with this season; on the one hand, he wields more power now that he's in the White House but, on the other, he has a larger security detail, which means less privacy for him to carry out his sinister plans in secret.

2. The journalist lovers hit some turbulence.

It looks like a rocky road for our Lucas and Zoe, who are drifting apart and having some seriously terrible sex. But as we learned last year, he is head-over-heels for her, and understands that not only is she a tough nut to crack, but she also has her own demons to deal with. Although he has trepidations, Lucas is loyal and willing to trust Zoe, even though his instincts tell him otherwise. He has to battle the foreboding he feels when Zoe tells him she's going to meet up with Frank with his respect for Zoe and her journalistic feistiness. Unfortunately (see below), his post-feminist, good-guy boyfriend trust comes at a terrible price.

3. Holy shit, Zoe is gone.


Although Francis told Zoe on an early walk "don't step out of the sunlight for no reason. Let's start with a clean slate," that, uh, doesn't really work out for her. In the last quarter of the first episode, Zoe meets with Frank at a sketchy metro station, where under his orders, she deletes all phone history she has with him. She explains her theories about his involvement in the death of Russo but now the sleuthing skills and drive that once impressed Francis threaten him. Demanding an answer, she looks up with him with a look of childlike hope and states, "I want to believe you Francis!" and then, BOOM. The unthinkable happens. Francis pushes Zoe off the platform and into a speeding train. Moral of the story: don't meet a sociopath in a darkened subway alley.

While it's rare for a show to unceremoniously kill off a main character, it does happen -- see: The Sopranos, Breaking Bad, and Mad Men. However, this one was a big surprise. Even though we always knew that Frank was dangerous, we never actually feared for Zoe's life -- she always seemed like his match. And now that she's gone, any hope of finding retribution for Frank's actions is shot. And although calculated, Zoe's murder was much more brazen and dangerous than that of Peter Russo. To him, the risk outweighed the benefit and he was willing to bet everything for it. As Frank said during the first episode, his motto comes down to "Hunt or be hunted."

4. But actually. We have to accept it -- Zoe really isn't coming back.

Anyone else initially think it was all going to be one big dream or that Zoe was somehow going to pull out of a coma with guns blazing? Nope! In the second episode, Lucas goes to the authorities to question the validity of ruling Zoe's death an accident and is shown the video of the moment of impact. It looks pretty cut and dry: Underwood timed it perfectly and knew exactly how not to be caught on camera. We're also shown the footage of her body tumbling gruesomely in front of the train. AHHHHH.

5. Poor Rachel!
 
Life sucks again for Rachel, and it doesn't look like it's going to get better anytime soon. After Lucas, Zoe and Janine connect her to the whole Russo death scandal and subsequently try to track her down, Rachel gets immediately whisked off by creepy Doug Stamper. Their relationship has always been really uncomfortable -- he seems to get off by being borderline abusive toward her. Installed in a shitty, air condition-less apartment by Stamper, she's now working as a telemarketer in a new town where she doesn't know anyone. But by chance, she meets Lisa, a sweet young woman who tries to get Rachel to join her Christian group. Though initially brushing it off, curiosity gets the better of her and she goes to a meeting. Will Rachel become a Born Again?

6. Lucas is on a downward spiral

The scene where he receives the news that Zoe has died was tremendously sad. Watching him grieve is almost worse than Zoe dying.

7. Fight or Flight: Lucas wants to fight but Janine takes flight

Janine gets some threats in the mail and runs off to live with her mom in Ithaca. She needs to get the fuck away from the corrupt, macabre funhouse that is Capital Hill. Her fear overshadows any rage she might feel about her friend's obvious murder. Lucas, on the other hand, is out for revenge because for him, it's more personal. Zoe was his girlfriend. His hopes and dreams of living happily ever after with her are shattered.

8. Jackie Sharp is a force to be reckoned with.

Jackie Sharp is the new shark in the tank. Lauded by Frank for her "chilling pragmatism," Jackie seems equally as power-hungry as he is. After Frank tantalizes her with the idea that she could take over for him as the Majority Whip, she winds up screwing over her House Colleague -- and father figure -- Ted Havemeyer, who had helped her enter the political arena in the first place. She decides to out his secret love child -- who has cerebral palsy no less -- effectively ending his political career and removing a roadblock on her path to becoming Whip.

That said, while ruthless, Frank's protégée isn't completely heartless. She appears to take the consequences of her actions much harder than the Underwoods do. How much will she be able to keep apace with Frank's maneuvering before she faces a real crisis of conscience?

9. We learn why Claire is as tough as nails as she is

This season we see more of Claire's vulnerable side via a tumultuous backstory. We learn that she was raped her freshman year at Harvard by a man named Dalton McGinnis who has now become an army general and is about to receive a medal of honor from Frank. After Claire tells Frank who McGinnis is, he flips out but ultimately participates in the medal ceremony anyway. It was nice to see this hot-headed, protective side of him. We needed a break from his monstrosity.

But back to Claire: although there's no telling what Claire was like before she was raped, it does seem like some of her toughness and calculative coldness stems from this life-changing event. In that moment she was powerless and it seems like she's been trying to compensate for that feeling -- and to regain a sense of autonomy and control over her life -- ever since.

10. Lucas is becoming obsessive about the exposé -- to the detriment of just about everything else

Lucas starts stalking officials, police, and even Christina (Peter Russo's former girlfriend) but just when he's not making any headway, he gets the idea to go down into the Internet underworld to look for clues and to access Frank's phone records. Oh shit.

While this plotline is juicy, it's almost unrealistic that everything is moving so fast. Especially when he meets up with a big-time cyber hacker who invites him to his fancy high rise apartment. You would think a hacker extraordinaire would be more selective. But, let's face it, the idea of hacking into the information base of someone as high up as the Vice President of the United States is pretty damn intriguing. But there's almost a sense of desperation in the way the hacker is so quick to move forward and reveal himself. Something is up and we hope it comes to light in the next few episodes.

Amusing Thoughts:

Even though Underwood hates birthdays, he gets a pretty sweet gift from his favorite security agent. Cufflinks of his initials, "F U." Team Francis or not, we can all appreciate that.

The power couple go back to smoking. After sneering at e-cigs -- "addiction without the consequences" -- Frank and Claire decide the "healthy alternative" just isn't good enough. We like their oddly adorable smoke breaks, anyway.

Apparently high-risk anonymous illegal activity must be done through Apple products. Apps are key. And iPads must be destroyed after reading. If only they were able to self-destruct.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. Perform In the PAPER Kitchen

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Detroit electro-popsters Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. came by the Paper kitchen a little while back to play a few tracks off their current album, The Speed of Things. We jammed out to their acoustic versions of "Run" and "Gloria" -- check it out!

Olympic Gold Medalist Kaitlyn Farrington Gives Us the Inside Scoop On Sochi

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Screen Shot 2014-02-21 at 4.12.34 PM.pngFresh off her gold medal win in the Women's Snowboarding Halfpipe competition at Sochi, Olympian Kaitlyn Farrington paid a visit to PAPER HQ. The 24-year-old snowboarder, who hails from Sun Valley, Idaho but is now based in Salt Lake City, gave us the inside scoop about what it's really like to compete in an Olympics (pressure, parties, pin trading). She even let us hold her gold medal. Read on.

On getting to the Olympics:

I started skiing when I was three and started snowboarding when I was 11 or 12 because my older sister switched over to snowboarding and of course I wanted to be like her. She never competed but a good friend who was on the snowboard team in Sun Valley where I grew up said to me, "Kaitlyn you should join [the team] with me -- it's fun!" So I joined the team with her and started competing when I was a freshman in high school. When I was 17 I got the invite to join U.S. Snowboarding and I was on the rookie team. I got my first invite to the X-Games when I was 17. Then when I was 21, I decided I was going to quit the U.S. snowboarding team because I wanted to do something different and I wanted a different coach. So I quit and now I work with Ski Club Vail in Colorado. I had my own path to making the Olympic team [since I was no longer part of U.S. Snowboarding].

Starting in December and through mid-January we had five contests that were our Olympic qualifiers. It was back-to-back contests every week. Only two weeks before the Olympics, I found out I made the team and was going to Russia. It was also the week before the X Games so it didn't really sink in that I had made the team because I was thinking "I have to go to X Games." It was like, "Alright now the next contest... oh shit, I'm going to the Olympics."

On the Opening Ceremony:

The Opening Ceremony was insane. They lined us up under the stadium and we came up through the floor. We were seeing all the acts getting their costumes on down there. Everyone always talks about these pins at the Olympics that you trade with other athletes. I got so many pins that I even had to request more bags of pins so I could keep trading them. You're just hanging out and waiting to walk and that's where the pin trading really starts off. They had corrals for all the teams but we'd all venture off [to trade pins] and volunteers would be like, "No, no, USA come back this way!" It has also been tradition that the snowboarders get to walk in the back of Team USA and in the Vancouver Olympics, the hockey girls shut out the snowboarders from doing that, so we were all like trying to be in the back. That was a huge thing.

On those Ralph Lauren 'Christmas Sweater' Opening Ceremony uniforms:

[Feelings were] mixed but I freakin' loved mine. I'm going to wear that to every ugly sweater party -- it'll be my Christmas sweater for next December. I will wear that thing everywhere. But some people weren't into it as much.

On competing in the snowboarding halfpipe event:

It was 60 degrees up there and the pipe was really warm. There was so much snow on the bottom. The pipe had been really difficult. But [the day of the event], I was in the second heat and the first heat girls were like, "You're going to be so happy with how the pipe is" because it ended up being the best it had been since we'd been in Sochi. They'd figured it out - they pretty much took a fire hose and hosed the whole thing down to get it to freeze over.

[The way the event works] is there might be 20 girls in each heat and the top three girls from each heat go straight to finals. Then girls number 4-9 go to semi-finals. I didn't get [one of the top three spots] so I had to ride semi-finals. I think that worked to my benefit because I was more familiar with the pipe than the rest of the girls. The other girls [who went straight to finals] came back to the top of the pipe and were having difficulty because it went from being super slushy when we rode it in the daytime to starting to ice over because it was getting later at night. But I had the benefit of experiencing the changing conditions all day.

On realizing she might take home the gold:

After my first run I realized that I might be able to medal. After my second run, I got my score and was like, "This is awesome. I landed the run that I wanted to do at the Olympics. I've got nothing to lose." But I still had six more girls to come after me and three of them were previous Olympic gold medalists and favorites like Kelly Clark and Torah Bright. And after everyone started finishing I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm still on top!" And Torah and Kelly were the last two and by the time it got to them, I was like, "Holy cow, I'm an Olympic medalist!" And after it was over it was like, "Holy shit, I'm an Olympic gold medalist." I didn't expect it. I also think a lot of other people didn't expect it either.

Screen Shot 2014-02-21 at 4.11.06 PM.pngKaitlyn stops by the Paper office and shows us her gold medal -- damn, that thing is heavy!

On celebrating, Olympian-style:

After I won, I went out and danced my face off. There was this club called Sky Club that a lot of people would go to. It was pretty funny. There was three floors: the main floor was where a lot of Russians and other tourists would go to party, the second floor was a VIP area where the athletes got to go and then the third floor was actually a strip club. I don't know if any athletes went up there...maybe. It all felt very Russian. They had a few performances every night and it was just a fun place to go dance and party.

On athlete fraternization and the easiest/best Olympic pick-up lines:

I didn't hear anything about athletes using Tinder until a reporter asked me about it. It was like, "Wait, what? What are you talking about?" But everybody was there to meet new people and meet other athletes. You'd just be like, "Oh, you're badass!" And you could just go up to someone and be like, "Hey, this is my event. What do you do?" It was fun. People were asking me out on dates to the hockey games.

On #SochiProblems:

I wasn't staying in the athlete's village but athletes who were said the dorm rooms were super small and their food sucked. But the U.S. Alpine, U.S. Snowboard Halfpipe and U.S. Snowboard Cross teams stayed in a hotel because they didn't have enough room in the village for us. It worked out for us though because we got to have two chefs from the U.S. who came over and were in our hotel. So we had the royal treatment.

On the crazy security:

It was crazy to hear things in the media about how Team USA shouldn't wear our USA gear outside of the village or that we shouldn't hang Team USA flags on the athlete's village buildings. Every country had their flags hanging outside but Team USA's house was completely blank. I feel like everybody was a little timid [about the situation] the first couple of days but then we all realized, "Oh, this isn't so bad." There's so much security around and there's people everyone. Since we had the State Department there, they were saying how they knew where we were [at every second]. If we left practice early, they'd be like, "Where is this person? Why did they leave?" They had tabs on all of us. I never felt unsafe.



10 Etsy Finds From the Depths of the Internet

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1. Star Wars Print Leggings

il_570xN.552408700_1wh1.jpg
Basically the same as a Rodarte gown. New York Fashion Week isn't over until Etsy kills it and then drags its corpse into the deep depths of the Internet.

2. The Great Wave of Kanagawa White Collar Shit

il_570xN.520691503_3ubs.jpgWill. Not. Make. Another. #Surfbort. Joke.

3. Unicorn and Rainbow Panties

il_570xN.420393494_b0wd.jpgWhen will we have the technology to make GIF textiles?? The future is NOW, people.

4. Moorland - Masha Reva x SNDCT

il_570xN.396057587_7fcb.jpg90% of things on Etsy look like a nightmare craft-project, but these Photoshop-layered textiles of digital gardens on boxy silhouettes are absolutely gorgeous.

5. George Costanza Mens Shirt

il_570xN.523697846_kypp.jpgThis is how we feel when we look at the shirt:

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6. La Petite Jungle Purse

il_570xN.562235463_p2c0.jpgA cute coin purse to carry around the world's tiniest elephant. Or you could use it for your keys and ID if you want to be boring.

7. Picturebook West Coast Succulents

il_570xN.366600542_5n2f.jpgMade from digitally-scanned prints of kids' drawings, this pillow is super cute.

8. Smiley Face T-shirt

il_570xN.540779490_q58p.jpgEmoji is the New Black.

9. I Have Given Up Sweat Suit

il_570xN.517050190_o1eg.jpgVariations of this ensemble have been floating around the Internet for a while now, but buying it has never seemed more tempting. Dear New York Winter (cc: Life in General), WE GIVE UP.

10. YouTube Jungle Collage Socks

il_570xN.480510854_8775.jpg I'm not even going to try to understand this. To quote the sweat suit that I'm wearing, "I HAVE GIVEN UP."


The Best, Worst and Weirdest of the Week

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Screen Shot 2014-02-21 at 5.34.26 PM.pngCutest Thing Ever: This photo series by Qozop in which teenagers swap clothes with their grandparents. -- Elizabeth Thompson

Scariest Case of Sexism: The slopes at Sochi seem to be taking out more ladies then gents. First the Pussy Riot detainment, now this -- what's up Russia?!?! -- M.D.
Screen Shot 2014-02-21 at 12.23.14 PM.pngBest Response to Arizona's Batshit Anti-Gay "Religious Freedom" Bill: This one, from Rocco's Little Chicago Pizzeria in Tucson. -- E.T.

Best Music Streaming Game: NPR. They killed it this week with a pre-release streaming of new albums from Beck, St. Vincent, and Neneh Cherry. -- Maggie Dolan

Screen Shot 2014-02-21 at 5.42.00 PM.pngBest eBay Auction of the Week: An auction for Pharrell's excessively large Grammy night hat! The producer is auctioning it off for charity and it could be yours for the sweet, sweet price of $10,500 (or higher). Why buy a gently-used Mazda when you can have some Pharrell headwear? -- Abby Schreiber

Best Potential Collab of the Week: James Blake x Rappers x Tao Lin. In an interview with Rolling Stone, James Blake -- the official favorite artist of Kanye West -- compared Yeezus to author Tao Lin's Taipei. That's not exactly the first reference that comes to anyone's mind when they think of the album, but he also quotes Oscar Wilde in the interview. Looks like James Blake is just spending way too much time in bookstores instead of working on the collaborations with Chance the Rapper, Drake, and Mr. West himself that he alludes to in the interview. QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART. -- Gabby Bess

majexkway.jpgChicest Workout Collaboration: These new athletic pullovers from outerwear brand K-way + French high street label Maje might actually get us to the gym...Trés cool! -- M.D.

Best Fan Mail: This letter sent to BJ Novak about all the important life lessons the fan learned from watching The Office. -- E.T.

Screen Shot 2014-02-21 at 5.54.50 PM.pngBest Olympics Imagery of the Week:
This one. Unfortunately, looks like we're stuck with him. -- A.S.

Best Food-Related Headline We Heard All Week:
"World's Smartest Girl Scout Sells Lots of Cookies Outside Marijuana Clinic." -- A.S.


Best YouTube Video of the Week:
"A Conference Call In Real Life." Nailed it. -- A.S.



"Most Interesting Olympian," Hubertus Von Hohenlohe, Speaks Up

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Screen shot 2014-02-22 at 2.23.46 PM.png(Photo via Facebook)

Plenty of athletes will leave Sochi with a medal but only one of them will walk away with the title of "Most Interesting Olympian" if not the title of "Most Interesting Man in the World." Yes, the Dos Equis guy may have some real competition in Hubertus Von Hohenlohe. The only member of Team Mexico competing in these games (and the second oldest Winter Olympian ever), Von Hohenlohe descends from German royalty (though he now splits his time between Austria, Spain, Lichtenstein and Italy), hung out with Andy Warhol at Studio 54 and counts Karl Lagerfeld as a close friend. He's also an award-winning photographer and a pop star who's recorded under the names 'Royal Disaster' and 'Andy Himalaya.' And then there's the suit. Before the games even started, Von Hohenlohe caught everyone's attention with his now-famous mariachi ski suit that he officially debuted today while competing in the Alpine Skiing Men's Giant Slalom (he did not medal). Just before his big race, we were able to get the athlete on the phone from Sochi to hear what it's like for the Most Interesting Man in the World to be competing in his sixth Olympic games.


What's Sochi been like these past few weeks?


This place is much cooler than it was anticipated. That said, it's pretty much limited to where the venues are -- the Olympic park, the mountain resort, Rosa Khutor. The venues are really, really beautiful. The actual city itself is not so exciting -- people don't go out dining or partying like in other cities. But everything around the Olympic Games is really happening and really cool. There's amazing houses like the Austria House, Casa Italia, the USA House, the Swiss House. You can have different parties there. But the [whole scene] is a little Walt Disney/Las Vegas for Russians in sort of a tacky way. But at the same time it's completely impressive. Although you always get the feeling that these games should have been in 2016 and then it would have been amazing. They're just maybe two years two early -- it's not finished. But it's a good Olympics.

How have you found the skiing conditions?

It gets warm but then again, the potential of the hill is tremendous. It's definitely a ski resort that you can come to visit and it compares to anything, anywhere. High mountains, long runs.  It's really much better than you would expect. It's like a Russian Aspen or Vail in the middle of the Black Sea, which is ridiculous.

Sochi is your sixth Olympics, correct?


Yes, it's my sixth Olympics. I missed out on three [Olympics] -- I could've competed in nine. Two times I didn't qualify. My first Olympics was in 1984 so thirty years ago, which is really, really long. So here I see people I've met before. There's this guy from Italy who's won six straight medals in six straight games. He's a luge guy. You meet him and go, "Oh my god. I also have six Olympics but I haven't won a medal." Then you also meet young guys that come up to you and ask you how these games compare to the others and what they have to do to enjoy them. I give them tips about what they have to look out for. A lot of people forget that this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience normally -- or twice in a lifetime. You really have to inhale it all in and live it all out. If you come here and don't go to the Opening Ceremonies because you're waxing your skis, like this one boy from Belarus who told me that, I think, "Well, you can wax your skis another time but don't miss the Opening Ceremonies. You're never going to see this again." So some guys focus very much but they still lose seven or eight seconds in their run and come in 42nd and it would be better that they were 45th and their skis weren't so well-waxed but they saw the Opening Ceremony, which they'll take with them for the rest of their life.

Tell me about your famous mariachi ski suit.

It made its debut at this Olympics. The idea was that I wanted to be really Mexican this time around and since [I competed] in an evening race, I wanted to wear something really elegant like a tuxedo. So combining that idea with a folkloric Mexican [outfit], I thought I should wear what the mariachis wear when they sing for other people. It's been a tradition of mine to wear these great suits.

What goes on after competition? How have the parties been like?

If somebody gets a medal, all the fans and family get together. At the Austria house, they come and start partying and they have Austrian music and they dance and present the boyfriends and the sponsors. There was a scandalous party [one night] because the Austrian hockey team won a game and they partied 'til 6 in the morning and they had too much to drink and as a result they lost their game the next morning against Slovenia, which was a team they could have beat.

What are the other team houses like?

Casa Italia has good food, good ambience, good-looking, well-dressed people. The Swiss house is a mess -- it's all made out of wood and typical Swiss things and is always too crowded. The American house has high security -- it's intense and quite hard to get in. But it's been cool. It's a nice kind of experience to see all the different cultures like that. The only thing missing was a Mexican house. They should have done one if only for promotional reasons.

Has anything surprised you about these Olympic games?

I've been impressed by the friendliness of the volunteers and the people. They're very proud that they have the Olympics. I have so much respect for how much they work -- they work day and night -- the police and military everywhere. I'm amazed at how they've embraced this cause.

January Jones' 1988 School Photo Is the Best

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opvintagejanuaryjones.png9-year-old January Jones in 1988 is our everything. The mullet. Oh, the mullet. [Dlisted; January Jones' instagram]


ICYMI: Here's Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake shutting it the F down on the Tonight show Friday with the history of rap part 5. [TheTonightShow]
 
Crucial short film about a squirrel pilot. Magic starts at 1:14. This should have been on the Oscars short list. [TastefullyOffensive]


One Direction's "Midnight Memories" redubbed with terrible, off key vocals = so good. [Tastefullyoffensive]

 barackumblr_n0fpmjsA8S1spfvlco1_1280.jpg
Save room for barackoli! [FYeahDementia]

`tumblr_n18kssSPbG1qzrlhgo1_500.pngI C U, Yankees. [TheClearlyDope]

XI3P.gifHAM. [Mlkshk]

tumblr_inline_mxnz57fyEm1r3l0mx.jpgWord. [FYeahDementia]


Why Angel Haze Is the Brave New Face of Rap.

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look_03_005_web.jpg
On December 18, hip-hop artist Angel Haze tweeted, "So sorry to Island/Republic Records, but fuck you." And with that, the 22-year-old proceeded to make the nightmare of any record company come true: Frustrated by the seven month delay of her much-anticipated debut album, Dirty Gold, Haze uploaded all 16 songs to her website. Most artists stuck in label-delay cycles sit quiet and play the game, but anyone familiar with the Detroit-born rapper knows that just isn't her style. 

Dirty Gold's March 2014 release date was quickly changed to December 30, 2013, and although market record sales for the album have been dismal thanks to the leak, Haze isn't phased. "At the end of the day, it's not a massive deal to me," she says. "Nobody puts an album out in the last week of the year unless you want to look like you had the worst debut in fucking history. I don't really give a fuck." 

Born Raykeea Wilson, Angel Haze was raised in a cult-like church called the Greater Apostolic Faith, which banned music entirely. At age 13, she came out to her mother as a lesbian -- though she now identifies as pansexual -- and was kicked out of her house. At 16, her family moved from Detroit to Brooklyn, where she was exposed to the secular world. She began making a name for herself online uploading unfiltered vlogs and songs to her YouTube account. 

Although her debut is more pop-leaning than her 2012 mixtape Classick, every song on Dirty Gold has Haze spitting dark, deeply personal lyrics inspired by her difficult early life. "Black Dahlia," a letter to her mother, was easy to write but difficult to record, seeing as how she could barely get through it without breaking down. "['Black Dahlia'] is filled with everything I wanted to say to her," she says, "but without the malicious 'I hate you for fucking my life up' tone to it." 

Haze's strained relationship with her mother is a frequent theme in her music. She blew away critics and fans with Classick's scorching revamp of Eminem's 2002 track "Cleanin' Out My Closet," in which she gruesomely chronicles surviving childhood sexual abuse from ages 7 to 10 -- something the song says adults in her home knew about, but did not prevent. "I feel like I came out of the gate projectile vomiting all of my demons," she says. "Music is very cathartic to me, so doing that song was more of a spiritual cleansing." Though Haze almost never performs the track live, that hasn't stopped hundreds of fans from coming forward to tell her it essentially told their life stories -- the majority of whom are young men. "It opened my eyes to a lot of the stigmas we place on boys and abuse in general," Haze says, "and how they're allowed to suffer."  

Haze also set the Internet ablaze with her powerful freestyle remix of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis' gay-rights anthem "Same Love," part of her #30Gold series, which had Haze uploading a new freestyle every day for 30 days last October. Putting her own spin on a different popular song each day was a way for Haze to prove that she's "much more multifaceted than most people think." But she was reluctant to record "Same Love" at first. "I didn't have a coming out story," Haze says. "My mom was like, 'I found this stuff on your computer,' then told me I was going to burn in hell and then whatever." 

The track, which features Haze spitting the lyrics, "No, I'm not gay / No, I'm not straight / And I sure as hell am not bisexual / Dammit I am whoever I am when I am it," raised more questions than provided answers for many fans. To Haze, pansexuality is based on the idea that "sexuality and sexual attraction aren't black and white," a looser-ended concept that she knows is harder for some to understand. "As far as people saying I have the ability to fall in love with a toaster or something, I think that's really funny," she says. And as for love, Haze says she's open to all. "I chose to never deny myself the simple pleasures of life. Whether that be looking at someone or fucking someone who's beautiful, it doesn't really matter to me," she says. "I want to do what I want to do and I'll fuck with the consequences. But I'm not going to deprive myself."

Shot at Dune Studios

Market Editor: Bianca Bailey / Assisted by Elijah Vielma

Hair by Kyle Malone for Oribe at Artists at Wilhelmina / Makeup by Camille Thompson using MAC Cosmetics and Velour Mink Lashes / Photographer's Assistant: Malcolm Neo
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