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Our 2014 Golden Globes Predictions

lupitaglobespredictions.jpg1. Most Likely to be the Fashion World's "Best Dressed" of the Night But Confuse Everyone Else: 12 Years a Slave's Lupita Nyong'o, fashion's favorite new red carpet star and "Best Supporting Actress" nominee.

george-clooney-sandra-bullock-dating-mkLEvV-lgn.jpg2. Man Most Likely to Whisper Into Sandy Bullock's Ear Multiple Time In the Evening and Shout Something at Tom Hanks on Stage: George Clooney. Duh.

Screen Shot 2014-01-07 at 4.23.10 PM.png3. Related: Nominee Most Likely to Show Up Shirtless, Wearing Only a Red Scarf Around His Neck: Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros frontman Alex Ebert, who's nominated for "Best Original Score - Motion Picture" for All Is Lost.

Screen Shot 2014-01-07 at 4.23.59 PM.png4. Show That's Mostly Likely to Win For 'Best TV Series, Musical or Comedy' Because the Hollywood Foreign Press Loves to Torture Us:
Modern Family, which will probably beat out Parks and Recreation, Brooklyn 99 and Girls.

bazinga-with-sheldon-tshirt-logo-hr.jpg5. Person Who We're Sure Is a Perfectly Wonderful Human Being But Will Most Likely Not Win For 'Performance By an Actor In a Television Series - Musical or Comedy,' Because COME ON, IT'S TIME TO LET SOMEONE ELSE HAVE A TURN ON THE SWINGSET: Jim Parsons for the Big Bang Theory

Screen Shot 2014-01-07 at 4.27.26 PM.png6. Nominee Most Likely to Have a Sally 'They Really Like Me" Fields Moment:
Bruce Dern who's nominated for "Best Actor" for his role in Nebraska. At 77-years-old it's Dern's first Globe nod despite a successful career.

Screen Shot 2014-01-07 at 4.28.27 PM.png7. "Rivalry" That Will Most Likely End (We Hope) In a Kiss When One of Them Wins: Matt Damon and Michael Douglas'. Both actors have been nominated for "Best Actor in a Mini-Series or TV Movie" for Behind the Candelabra, which was so, so great and should win all the awards goddammit.

Screen Shot 2014-01-07 at 4.42.01 PM.png8. Biggest Movie Star Who Pretends She Doesn't Care About Being a Movie Star  and Just Wants to Paddle Board into the Sunset in Hawaii on the Reg But Will Totally Be Like, "I'm Back, Bitches!" When She Wins: Julia Roberts, who's nominated for "Best Supporting Actress" for August: Osage County.

9. Most Obnoxious Cut-Away of Celebrities Table-Hopping to Be Shown During the First Commercial Break: Bono and George Clooney, huddling around the Wolf of Wall Street Table, glad-handing with Leonardo and Marty.

orphanblack_thumbnail_01_web1.jpg10. Question to Be Repeated Most at Your Golden Globes Party: What's Orphan Black?

jtimbllewyndavis.jpg11. Celebrity You Will Forgot Was In a Movie This Year: Justin Timberlake, who has like 5 minutes of screen time in Inside Llewyn Davis. (Timberlake also has a songwriting credit for Inside Llewyn Davis' "Please Mr. Kennedy," nominated for Best Original Song - Motion Picture.)

Screen Shot 2014-01-08 at 3.08.35 PM.png12. Celebrity Who Will Not Bring His Inappropriate Girlfriend to the Golden Globes: This is a toss-up between Bradley Cooper, dating 22-year-old Suki Waterhouse, and Joaquin Phoenix, but we're going with Phoenix. He'll come stag and be stone-faced/miserable in every cutaway.

Parkour Leaps and Architural Feats In the New Trailer for a Rem Koolhaas Documentary


Cinematographer and parkour aficionado Tomas Koolhaas pays tribute to his father, the famed architect Rem Koolhaas, in his new documentary, REM. Ahead of the movie's release, Koolhaas released a trailer that shows a man running, dancing, skateboarding and doing impressive parkour moves throughout Rem's Casa De Musica in Porto, Portugal. It's pretty damn awesome.

Check it out, above, and for more information on the doc head HERE.

14 Must-See Art Shows to Check Out In January

Let's forget about the weather for a minute and get out and see some new gallery shows.  The pace of new openings is picking up nicely, plus there's a little time to see some of the good, local museum exhibitions.

65445cd229451e57e254f39de00872f3.jpgPavel Zoubok Gallery and Mixed Greens are co-hosting a group exhibition called "Hooray for HOLLYwood!" that opens on Thursday, January 9th, 6 to 8 p.m., at 531 West 26th Street.  In this case, the "Holly" refers to the incredible New York gallerist and collector Holly Solomon who passed away in 2002.  The show features works that represent her gallery's 30-year history and includes works by Laurie Anderson, Christo, Robert Mapplethorpe, Andy Warhol, Lisa Hoke, William Wegman and many more. It's up until February 8.

Screen Shot 2014-01-08 at 4.20.57 PM.pngOne of our favorite artists spotted at this year's Art Basel Miami Beach is having his first solo exhibition in the U.S. opening on January 9th. Li Hongbo opens "Tools of Study" from 6 to 9 p.m. at Klein Sun Gallery (525 West 22nd Street) and it will up until March 2.  The Chinese artists creates incredible sculpted busts that look like marble, but are actually made of paper and can be expanded like an accordion.  Don't miss this.  We'll post some videos on Friday in case you don't live in NYC.

showcardimage-414x600.jpgDavid Zwirner (533 W. 19th Street) debuts a new film called Luanda-Kinshasa by Vancouver artist Stan Douglas on January 9th, 6 to 8 p.m., and on view until February 22nd.  The film is a documentation of a fictitious recording session set in Columbia Records' historic 30th Street studio known as The Church.

badfog.jpgChelsea's Martos Gallery (540 West 29th Street) opens a group show curated by Eddie Martinez called "Bad Fog" on January 9th from 6 to 8 p.m. with works by Bill Adams, Antoniadis & Stone, David Armacost, Liz Craft, Jennie Jieun Lee, Jesse Littlefield, Dan McCarthy and Ross Simonini.

imagegalleryss.jpgAlso on the 9th from 6 to 8 p.m., there's an opening of a group photo show celebrating the Image Gallery, a space on the Lower East Side that was open from 1959 to 1962. Works from over 20 acclaimed photographers from the period will be on view at Howard Greenberg Gallery () (41 East 57th Street) until February 15th.

ja-83-sc-097_cc.jpgOn January 10th, 6 to 8 p.m., there's a cool exhibit of sculptures by John Ahearn that he did as a collab with Rigoberto Torres up in his South Bronx studio between 1981 and 1991.  Check it out at Alexander and Bonin (132 Tenth Avenue).

Screen Shot 2014-01-08 at 4.33.21 PM.pngGavin Brown's enterprise (620 Greenwich Street) opens shows by Alex Katz and the Miami-based artist/filmmaker Dara Friedman on January 11th, 6 to 8 p.m.  Both will be up until February 22nd.

Screen Shot 2014-01-08 at 4.35.57 PM.png
Also on the 11th from 7 to 9 p.m., Jonathan LeVine Gallery (529 West 20th Street) opens a group show, "Based On Actual Events," with works by Alyssa Monks, Diego Koi, Eloy Morales and Joel Rea; and a show by Jesse Hazelip called "Cycle of Violence."

If you haven't checked out the crazy group show at Fifteen Warren (15 Warren Street), be sure to get there quick because it's closing this Saturday, January 11th.  Curated by Abeline Cohen, Andrew Kass and Sean Vegezzi, there's a wild mix of art including everything from paintings to videos and live performances, all in a gutted, three-level space.  Open daily 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. [Photo via Guest of a Guest]

SG_PAPERMAG_AD_Powell_Basquiat_131112_OA.jpgThe Suzanne Geiss Company (76 Grand Street) opens a show of photos by Paige Powell called "Jean-Michel Basquiat: Reclining Nude" on January 16th, 6 to 8 p.m.  It will be up until February 22nd.

disheritedimage.aspx.jpgThere are free screenings of "The Disinherited" by Jay Scheib at AMC Empire (234 West 42nd Street) at 8 p.m. on January 15th and 22nd. This is a live-broadcast of an adaptation of Chekhov's play Platonov that will be performed simultaneously on stage at The Kitchen.  You need to RSVP HERE  for admission to the screening.

josep60575-2nOEa5.jpgHauser & Wirth (32 East 69th Street) opens their first New York exhibition devoted to Hans Josephsohn (1920 - 2012) on January 15th, 6 to 8 p.m. and up until February 22nd.  The Swiss sculptor is known for a lifetime of work devoted to the human figure and for his "search to express the humanity of the individual."

845-eventpage-RS21155_IP_Veilsuite_b-lpr500x300.jpgIf you're heading up north for a little snowboarding, stop by MASS MoCA (North Adams, Mass.) and check out their major survey of works by the New York-based artist Izhar Patkin called "The Wandering Veil." The opening is on January 18th, 3 to 5 p.m.

Screen Shot 2014-01-08 at 4.50.15 PM.pngThe Clocktower Gallery, as you've probably heard, is no longer located downtown in Manhattan and is now an "institutional resident" at Dustin Yellin's Pioneer Works at 159 Pioneer Street in Red Hook, Brooklyn.  The first exhibition out there, "Dale Henry: The Artist Who Left New York," opens on January 19th and runs until February 28th.  The Alabama-born artist lived and worked in New York City until 1986 when he dropped out of the art world and moved to Virginia. Before he died in 2011, Henry gave all of his works to Alanna Heiss and Clocktower.

Screen Shot 2014-01-08 at 4.54.06 PM.pngSave the date!:  In April, there's going to be a big celebration of the life and works of the late  New York City performance artist and beloved Paper theater critic Tom Murrin, aka the Alien Comic, with two full productions and readings of his influential plays, an art exhibit, street performances and, of course, a full-moon party.  You can help raise money for this special occasion by contributing to a Kickstarter campaign HERE.

ICYMI: Jimmy Kimmel Got a Bunch of Angelenos to Brag About the Weather (and Then Dumped Snow On Them)


ICYMI: Jimmy Kimmel's Cousin Sal went around asking Santa Monica beach bums to send well wishes to all of their relatives freezing their asses off in Chicago and New York. And then all those bragging, bronzed jerks got what they deserved -- a bunch of snow thrown on them! The whole clip is excellent. [via Jimmy Kimmel]

Screen Shot 2014-01-08 at 4.42.43 PM.png
In extremely related news, this infograph is spot on. It is definitely Cold As Fucked° up in herrre.  [via Twitter]

tumblr_mz2w3fJRZF1r0wqrdo1_500.jpgWorks for us. [via Humor Train]

tumblr_msppzxDJFK1qfap4co1_500.giftumblr_msppzxDJFK1qfap4co2_500.giftumblr_msppzxDJFK1qfap4co3_500.gifSteve, the Baja Men are gonna come after you. [via Tall Whitney]

Screen Shot 2014-01-08 at 5.03.25 PM.pngPresented without comment, Alexander Skarsgard, naked, on a toilet, in the South Pole. [via Hyper Vocal]

Screen Shot 2014-01-08 at 6.04.26 PM.pngUh...what are you trying to say? [via Afternoon Snooze Button]

tumblr_mz15vhycqQ1r0wqrdo1_500.jpgNeed this sweatshirt. [via Humor Train]

Model and Philanthropist Kyleigh Kuhn Shares Her Experiences Traveling and Building Schools In Afghanistan

khun4.jpgModel, philanthropist and New York fashion world darling Kyleigh Kuhn has traveled to Afghanistan several times in the past few years to visit the six schools she helped build through her mother's nonprofit Roots of Peace, and to compile Yearbook Afghanistan, a photo book featuring portraits of Afghani students, released this past fall. Here the San Francisco-native tells us about the beauty she finds in the war-torn country.

The first time I went to Afghanistan was in 2005. I was 18 and had just graduated high school. I had been raising funds for schools out there, so I was able to go and see the efforts. I was a little bit nervous, but everyone was so gracious and welcoming. There were moments when you see something disturbing or shocking, like a tank driving down the road, and you're very out of your element at points, but I've never felt unsafe. I think that's because we are very cautious with the way we interact, making sure we're not coming in as outsiders and just going wherever we want to go. We're very respectful of the way Afghans do things, and we try to learn from them.


Kyleigh (at right) in and around the school she helped build, and that is named for her, in the Mir Bacha Kot district of Afghanistan.

The Yearbook was definitely a labor of love. It was a project to commemorate the work that I had been doing in Afghanistan, and it was a good way to gain solidarity among the students and to show people in the U.S. the Afghanistan that I see. For a lot of these kids it was their first photograph, their first official portrait. It was something that meant a lot to them. These children have their struggles, but they are full of life and are super enthusiastic and happy individuals.

On that trip, we had to shoot quite quickly because we were only there for 10 days. It was just me, the photographer and the driver -- we don't travel with any security. We usually stay at the Roots of Peace office, they have bedrooms for visiting expats. There are other options, like the Serena, a five-star hotel in Kabul where dignitaries and political figures usually stay, but it's very opulent and over-the-top and it feels kind of strange to be there when you're in the middle of Kabul surrounded by a lot of destruction. It's obvious that it's a place for outsiders to come and be pampered, and it has been attacked.

khun2.jpgKabul is definitely a bustling city, but to be on the safe side, I usually don't walk around on the streets very much. I've gone out to the markets before, but you usually don't want to stick around in one spot for too long. Everybody there that's an expat is either affiliated with another nonprofit or USAID, or something like that. There's a whole economy based on catering to expats. There's an Italian restaurant called Boccaccio where a lot of them go. At these types of places there's extra security, so it's almost like you're entering into an airport to get into a restaurant, but it just all depends on what region you're in. In Bamyan, I can walk around all day and walk through the villages and everywhere. It's one of the safest and most beautiful areas.

In terms of the head scarf, when I'm in Kabul, I wear it. If I'm going to Bamyan, it's optional. I usually wear it just to be safe and to show that extra respect, but it does get really hot in the summertime.

One thing I always make sure to pack is pens. They are rare over there, and that's what the kids seem to want the most. If they see you writing with a pen, you can see them just watching it. They also like bubbles, but those are more difficult to pack.

khun1.jpgI have made good friends with some Afghan high school girls. They're really interested in what life is like in California and things like that. It's amazing to be able to talk to girls who are near my own age because that's the untold story of Afghanistan. People make a lot of assumptions about women in Afghanistan, but very rarely do they hear from the women about their feelings and what's going on. They're very progressive-minded girls. They talk mostly about their hopes for the future. For them, that's the most pressing thing. They're worried about not being able to marry somebody they love, or the health of their children -- some really serious concerns. I'll have these conversations with these girls and then I'll come back to New York and it's hard for me to readjust to talking about things that are less pressing.

There's definitely an element that takes you out of yourself in Afghanistan. You're able to see the world in a different perspective, and I don't think it's just because you're in a war zone -- it has an ancient feeling about it. It's like you're traveling back in time, in a way. It's an insightful place to be. I'm more inspired by the beauty that I find in Afghanistan and not so much the destruction. It feels sort of magical.

Photographs by Ruvian Wijesooriya from Yearbook Afghanistan

Parquet Courts Perform In an Austin Bike Shop In New Video for "Stoned and Starving"


Guess what? Parquet Courts is going to be on Jimmy Fallon tonight, January 9th, and you'd better get stoned and watch. They were one of our "bands you need to see" at SXSW last year and some of you probably weren't paying attention. So here's a clip of the boys playing their big hit -- at least it's a big hit around our office -- "Stoned & Starving." It was shot by KEXP down in Austin at Mellow Johnny's Bike Shop. This might be the first and only song that gives a shout-out to Ridgewood, Queens.

Ten Celebrity Daughters Who Should Be Miss Golden Globe In Ten Years

For Hollywood kiddies, being named Miss (or, in a few cases, Mr.) Golden Globe is a cross between having a coming out ball at the Hôtel de Crillon and being a high-fashion version of one of Bob Barker's beauties. It's a weird, longstanding awards season ritual and we kind of love it. This year, Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick's daughter, Sosie, will have the honor of handing out awards -- and avoiding come-ons by sloshed, 70-something producers -- at the ceremony. She joins a long line of Hollywood royalty -- many of whom have gone on to have their own successful acting careers -- like Joely Fisher (1992), Freddie Prinze Jr. (1996) and Fifty Shades of Gray star Dakota Johnson (2006). Below, we round up ten celebrity daughters who are primed to inherit the Miss Golden Globe title in the next decade.

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 1.08.38 PM.png1. Suri Cruise, daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes
Suri can wear her mom's line, Holmes & Yang.

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 1.05.50 PM.png2. Violet Affleck, daughter of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner
Considering Daddy has won a truckload of these, Violet's an obvious choice.

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 1.10.48 PM.png3. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, daughter of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt
We could picture Shiloh having a Public School tuxedo moment.

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 1.13.28 PM.png4. Apple Martin, daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin
Apple's style seems more "horseback riding at Ralph Lauren's Colorado ranch" but we think it'd be cute if she wore a modern version of her mom's iconic Pepto Bismol-pink Oscar gown.

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 1.14.37 PM.png5. Nahla Aubry, daughter of Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry
If Adrian Brody wins, he can plant one on the next generation of Berrys. Let's hope he doesn't.

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 1.17.01 PM.png6. Hazel Moder, daughter of Julia Roberts and Danny Moder
Hazel's giving us 'Portland-chic' vibes and we can picture her doling out awards in an athletic-looking Calvin Klein sheath.

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 1.20.21 PM.png7. Lily Rose Depp, daughter of Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis
Looks like Johnny's going to have his hands full with this one.

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 1.04.31 PM.png8. Emme Lopez Anthony, daughter of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony
When you're only five and you're already wearing Chanel, life is one big red carpet.

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 1.22.43 PM.png9. Tabitha and Marian Broderick, daughters of Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick
How cute are the Broderick twins? Let's hope they're still coordinating headbands in ten years.

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 1.27.54 PM.png10. Pearl Minnie Anderson, daughter of Maya Rudolph and Paul Thomas Anderson
Let's hope her mom has saved some of her old Donatella Versace costumes.

This GIF Sums Up Everything You Need to Know About Coachella 2014

andre300.gifThis is our reaction to Day 1 of the Coachella line-up. As for the other days...

GIF by Isabel Alcantara

This Parody Colorado Tourism Ad Is Perfect.


This parody Colorado tourism commercial is perfect. Come to Colorado, where not everyone is a stoner. (Except everyone is a stoner.) [OfficialComedy]

Um. Where to begin? Here is a video of a man totally nailing the elusive, totally rare, balloon-slowly-having-the-air-let-out-of-it key-range that is Kate Bush's "Wuthering Heights," and it's just stunning. Singing starts at 0:57. [Reddit]

How-to-fall-in-love.jpgWriter Ted Scheinman tweeted this adorable and hilarious tissue the other day that his sister, a second grade teacher gave him. On it, two of her 8-year-old students have outlined the 24 steps to falling in love. "Go dance and put your noses together." [Uproxx]

tumblr_mooxfwF8VA1qm4x00o1_500.jpgFunny story... [Pizzzatime]

tumblr_myzukh7vqv1s8b3ieo1_1280.jpgtumblr_myzukh7vqv1s8b3ieo2_1280.jpgA map of the weirdest sex laws in each state. Really Florida, that's the best you can do? [Digg]

Hey! Good job, you w,.. oh...uh.. yes. Cool! Alright! My man! I didn't think we were going to high five anyway. Sob. [TastefullyOffensive]

WKK4.gifLet's do this, weekend. [Mlkshk]

Girls Costume Designer Jenn Rogien On Plastic Dresses, Beet Stains and What We Can Expect In Season 3

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 12.46.35 PM.pngWhen we're not making predictions about what rockers might make cameos on Girls or writing fan fiction about all the hotties we'd like to see woo Hannah & Co. during Season 3, our thoughts turn to what cuckoo crazy outfits -- or hairdos -- we might get to see next season. (One-upping Hannah's sleeping bag dress or Shoshanna's Whoville hair is no small feat, after all.) Ahead of the show's third season premiere on Sunday, we chat with the series' costume designer, Jenn Rogien, about how the characters' styles have evolved, what we can expect to see on Season 3, and why she's always having to remove beet juice stains from costumes.

What have been some of your favorite looks on the show?

There's so many, starting with the Bushwick warehouse party because the girls were so specifically themselves in those costumes. I also loved Hannah's glowworm sleeping bag, Marnie's plastic dress, and everything Elijah [wears] because he's just crazy and ridiculous and very fun to dress.

What was it like constructing Marnie's plastic dress?

It was unusual because there wasn't a lot of sewing and the materials are so foreign to Marnie that the shape needed to be something that she would recognize. I went over that a couple of times before the silhouette made sense for her so that was really challenging to figure out.

It that episode, Marnie is so clearly trying to be someone else.

Yes, she's trying so hard to impress [Booth Jonathan] so we had to build it or make something outside of the norm that could reflect so deeply (and so obviously) her mental state.

Tell me about how each of the characters' styles have evolved over the three seasons.

They've all evolved a little. Hannah started out as lovingly disheveled in Season 1, and then she was fairly disheveled throughout Season 2. Marnie started very polished and very put together -- she had the dream job and the dream date and all of those things, and then Season 2, we saw her struggle and she was trying really hard to stay polished and to cling to a style and an identity. With Shoshonna, who is our most feminine, girliest character on the show, she dresses very self-aware. And Jessa is weirdly the most consistently-styled largely because she is so eclectic and all over the place to start with so she's strangely the most stable.

Where do you find things for Jessa?

It's a treasure hunt. We go thrifting all over...and also to Century 21 and Loehmann's. I know a Jessa piece when I see it and, often times, I don't find it in the same place or in the same store twice.

What can we expect from the wardrobe in Season 3?

Their looks in season 3 reflect the decisions that the characters made in Season 2 and that evolution and those consequences. We wrapped a couple of months ago so I'm starting to feel impatient to see it on screen. I almost have to have a countdown clock.

What twentysomething fashion trend would you most like to see go away?

Leggings are not pants. I'd love to see that go away. People have been wearing them like that for 4-5 years so I don't think it counts as a trend anymore. There are so many places where they're appropriate, but they're not pants.

Describe your aesthetic in your 20s. Can you relate to the characters on the show?

(Laughs.) Man, I was a mess, which is probably why I resonate so deeply with the show. I started working in corporate America and so I made an effort toward being polished, but I still wore deeply inappropriate things to work. I get it. I've been there.

Who gives who fashion tips on set?

Good question. You'd think it would be happening, but I don't know that fashion is a huge topic of conversation [for the girls]. Everyone's got a million things they're doing. In the fittings we're really focused on getting the looks. I'm sure that the fashion tips are happening, but I usually get asked about stain removal before fashion.

What kind of stains?

Beet juice is the number one stain. We have a juicer and people inevitably stain whatever light-colored items they wore to work that day. That and chocolate. When people say, "Hey Jenn" it has nothing to do with style. It's more 'Well, I have this thing that I need to be dry cleaned or this leather I need to get restored."

Based on the trailer for Season 3, it looks like Hannah will finally have to put some clothes on but what was the story behind the t-shirt she spent the Season 2 finale in?

That's from the Salvation Army. I don't remember if I had been out shopping for her t-shirt and pajamas or if it was something I had hanging around or if we set out to go shopping for this very sad, very beat-up piece of clothing. Hannah might have owned it from a family vacation years before because it looks sort of long-loved. The graphic is faded, and you can't really read it. It says something like "life's a beach." That phrase was so perfect because she's just a mess and the color was so unbelievably sad. It was the right choice for the right moment.

15 Yearbook Photos of Our Favorite Rappers

If you think all rappers are born with swag...think again.

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 3.53.04 PM.png
1. Kanye
Most Likely to Beg His Teacher to Change His Grades

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 3.55.58 PM.png2. Pharrell
Most Likely to Abandon the Jocks and Go Through An "Art Kid" Phase Junior Year

Screen Shot 2013-08-22 at 3.45.06 PM.png3. 2 Chainz (a.k.a. Tauheed Epps)
Most Likely to Be Voted Homecoming King -- Runner Up Two Years In a Row

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 3.55.47 PM.png4. Ludacris (a.k.a. Chris Bridges)
Most Likely to Invite Everyone Over for the After-Prom Party But Have It Get Busted By the Cops After 20 Minutes

Screen Shot 2014-01-10 at 12.11.41 PM.png5. Jay Z (a.k.a. Shawn Carter)
Most Likely to Get a Million Detentions -- But Be Secretly Loved By All the Teachers

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 3.56.17 PM.png6. Snoop Dogg (a.k.a. Calvin Broadus Jr.)
Most Likely to Be Voted "Best Smile"

Screen Shot 2014-01-10 at 12.31.11 PM.png7. Nicki Minaj (a.k.a. Onika Maraj)
Most Likely to Star In a High School Production of Anything Goes

Screen Shot 2014-01-10 at 12.26.17 PM.png8. A$AP Rocky (a.k.a. Rakim Mayers)
Most Likely to Try to Shamelessly Flirt With His 26-Year-Old English Teacher

Screen Shot 2014-01-10 at 12.21.01 PM.png9. Gucci Mane (a.k.a. Radric Davis)
Most Likely to Sell Fake IDs to Freshmen

Screen Shot 2014-01-10 at 12.15.58 PM.png10. Lil Jon (a.k.a. Jonathan Smith)
Most Likely to Have a Crush On the School Nurse

Screen Shot 2014-01-10 at 12.13.55 PM.png11. Aesop Rock (a.k.a. Ian Bavitz)
Most Likely to Be President of the Finance Club

Screen Shot 2014-01-10 at 12.11.03 PM.png12. Lil Wayne (a.k.a. Dwayne Carter Jr.)
Most Likely to Suck Up to High School Juniors As a Freshman

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 3.52.20 PM.png13. Future (a.k.a. Nayvadius Wilburn)
Most Likely to MC an Open Mic Night

Screen Shot 2014-01-10 at 12.09.17 PM.png14. Drake (a.k.a. Aubrey Graham)
Most Likely to Be Occasionally Mistaken for a Westchester Mother of Three

Screen Shot 2014-01-10 at 12.24.46 PM.png15. Action Bronson (a.k.a. Arian Asllani)
Most Likely to Play the Tuba In the High School Band

PSA: Snow's "Informer" Is the Biggest Selling Reggae Single In History


Today's oldie-but-goodie video is the biggest selling reggae single in history. Surprised? So were we, and we're not even in the hater camp that thinks that a white kid from Toronto isn't really reggae. After all, that was the same kind of criticism leveled against dancehall reggae by all those Bob Marley fans. Darrin O'Brien (aka SNOW) came out of nowhere with this monster 12 Inches of Snow hit, "Informer," back in 1992, and it was the #1 pop single for seven weeks in a row. Sadly, he never really followed it up with another smash. What's the #1 reggae track this week? "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy.

Julia and Grace Turshen On Food Fears, Crummy Service Industry Jobs and Culinary Nostalgia

MrsMrsTurshen1.jpgGrace and Julia Turshen

The phrase "power couple" is used so often that most of the time it's pretty meaningless so when you actually come across a duo that is both captivating and intriguing, it is truly something to behold. Such is the case with the newlyweds Grace and Julia Turshen. They are brilliant women who have made names for themselves in the design and food worlds: Grace is the creator and owner of Design Sponge and Biz Ladies and also hosts a weekly radio show called "After the Jump" on Heritage Radio; Julia is a talented writer and cook who focuses primarily on cookbook writing, testing & developing recipes. The two connected after Grace published a heartfelt and personal post about friends and love on her site. Touched, and feeling bold, Julia responded to the article and closed with an invitation to dinner. The two shared an unforgettable meal at Five Leaves and the rest is history. I sat down with the couple in their beautiful Greenpoint home to talk food fears, nostalgia and their go-to dinner party dishes.

Carrot, Celery Root & Ginger Puree with Israeli Cous Cous
Heavy Cream (Ronnybrook) & Chives (Keith's Farm)
Bodhitree Mixed Greens with Breezy Hill Orchard's Apples & Meyer Lemon Vinaigrette
Homemade Fleur de Sel Shortbread
Meyer Lemon Curd & Spiced Butternut Squash Jam (Migliorelli Squash)

If you could learn how to make one food product, artisan or not, what would it be? Not a dish, a thing.

Grace Turhsen: I want to know how to make homemade pasta. Nothing, food-wise, makes me happier than hand made pasta with a ragu. It's my favorite thing in the world other than birthday cake. 

Julia Turshen: I would actually love to learn the process of making miso paste. I did a project in Korea and saw how they make their version of it, which was wonderful. I think I would like to go to Japan and learn though.

What is your breakfast routine like?

GT: We have a proper breakfast every day. Soft scramble eggs with local mushrooms and cheese. We often go to the farmers market in Greenpoint but we live next to this 24-Hour Market called "Rachel's" and it's amazing so we get a lot of stuff there. They stock this insane European white bread that we love to top with Salvatore ricotta and jam.

JT: Grace also makes really good pancakes. I've never been much of a pancake person, but i love hers with banana and chocolate chips.

If you have nothing in your fridge -- which I would imagine is virtually never -- and had to eat a condiment like food what would it be?


GT: Raspberry Jam or good BBQ Sauce.

MrsMrsTurshen3.jpgCarrot, Celery Root & Ginger Puree with Israeli Cous Cous

What's the ultimate nostalgia food for each of you?

GT: Smithfield ham and my grandmother's sweet mustard. Cutting huge chunks of ham with an electric knife is childhood for me.

JT: I think of Chinese take-out. There was a place on Hudson Street, which is now closed, that we always used to go to. Also, my dad is king of the toaster oven, so bagels were a big thing.

What are the biggest misconceptions of who you are and what you do?

JT: I feel like people often call me a chef and I don't identify myself as one, it's too grand of a title. I've been paid to cook, but I don't consider myself a chef. I'll take it but...I try to define myself as a writer.

GT: Most people expect me to be a human cupcake because of the aesthetic of my website. My job involves looking at so much -- patterns, colors, textures. But when I get home I want clean simple colors and pleasures.

Have either of you ever worked in the service industry?

JT: I worked at City Bakery. It was the only job I ever quit -- they didn't have air-conditioning and I wilt in hot weather.

GT: I worked at a Country Club Food Shack in Virginia where EVERYTHING went in the fryer. I was eventually promoted to the nicer restaurant, but then I broke all my toes moving a banquet table and that was the end of my stint in the food industry.

MrsMrsTurshen2.jpgHomemade Fleur de Sel Shortbread with Meyer Lemon Curd & Spiced Butternut Squash Jam

What food scares you?

GT: Uni or Oysters

JT: I'll try anything

Favorite comfort foods?

JT: Pizza and ice cream. So I should probably just go to kids' birthday parties.

GT: Pasta and birthday cake, like Duncan Hines cake.

What are you go to entertaining dishes?

GT: I always work from cookbooks and I love this Jamie Oliver pasta with roasted tomatoes and eggplant.

JT: I also make a lot of pasta or vegetables dishes. I really like paella and it's always a crowd pleaser. 

Lastly, if you could have lunch with anyone, who would it be?

JT: My grandmother, my mom's mom, I always wanted to meet her.

GT: Nikki Giovanni, she is my favorite poet.

The Best, Worst and Weirdest of the Week

Screen Shot 2014-01-10 at 5.06.40 PM.pngGame-Change of the Week: Bill DeBlasio showing his TRUE, fancy colors by eating pizza with a fork. Feel so betrayed. -- Elizabeth Thompson

Best Cover of Andrea Bocelli's "Time to Say Goodbye (Con te Partiro)" We Heard All Week: Vampire Weekend's. It's pretty damn charming to hear Ezra Koenig belting out some Italian. -- Sarah Bellman

malin-akerman.jpgCraziest Cleavage of the Week: Malin Akerman's after she split her décolletage in two at the People's Choice Awards. Not even sure where to look. -- Maggie Dolan

Best News of the Week: Shia LaBeef has announced he's retiring from "public life." Ok, buddy! See ya. -- E.T.

enhanced-buzz-8956-1388762380-13.jpgBest Throwback Photos of the Week: Russell Brand's. Good to know he has ALWAYS been such a weirdo. Look at that smolder. -- S.B.

Thing We Were Most Obsessed With at the Beginning of the Week and Now Could Give an F about: What Polar Vortex? -- E.T.

LindaRow.jpgBest Casting Choice of the Week: The Row's choice to cast Linda Rodin, stylist and founder of RODIN beauty line, in their Pre-Fall look book. Perfection. -- M. D.

Best News Story to Come Out of Oregon All Week: This one about a couple who tried to tip their waitress with crystal meth. Oof. -- Abby Schreiber

Screen Shot 2014-01-10 at 4.52.52 PM.pngWeirdest UK TV Special We Heard About All Week: That one about men who dress up as "Real Dolls." We can't wait for it to come to the U.S. -- S.B.

Best Birthday of the Week: Blue Ivy Carter's. The 2-year-old tot celebrated at the Miami Zoo bird sanctuary in Jungle Island. Momma B and Daddy J rented  the whole thing out for her and then took her to get pizza! They grow up so fast! -- M.D.

Screen Shot 2014-01-10 at 4.56.28 PM.pngMost Interesting Photos That Also Make Us Feel Weird and a Little Sad of the Week:  Dona Schwartz's photos of empty nesters posing in their children's shrines rooms. They parents all look a little, uh, empty. -- A.S.

Screen Shot 2014-01-10 at 5.04.11 PM.pngBest Dusty Apartment Interior Photos That Made Us Feel All Asthmatic and Scratchy: These images of a Paris apartment that, until recently, had sat untouched since 1942. -- E.T.

Most Exciting Food World News We Heard All Week: That Anthony Bourdain is opening a New York food market that will serve international street food. -- A.S.

covertrail03_630.jpgMost Fantastic Cover of the Week: Bloomberg Businessweek's January cover. Similar to my feels about bitcoins, I don't fully understand it but I'm really, really enthusiastic about it. -- Gabby Bess

ALEXANDER WANG_S14 WRTW CAMPAIGN IMAGE_NYC BILLBOARD.jpgBest High Fashion Bathroom Moment: the new Alexander Wang campaign. -- Mickey Boardman

Morning Funnies: Golden Globes Edition

anigif_enhanced-buzz-2142-1389578219-3.gifanigif_enhanced-buzz-31591-1389578246-10.gifAs expected, hosts Amy Poehler and Tina Fey were the best.Their opening monologue featured a cut-away to Julia Louis Dreyfus puffing on an e-cig while Reese Witherspoon desperately tried to snap a selfie. So, perfection. [via Buzzfeed]

tumblr_mzbg0iV8Hs1qh0b3jo1_250.giftumblr_mzbg0iV8Hs1qh0b3jo2_250.gifClooney got owned in Fey and Poehler's best joke of the night.  [ShyGirl364]

Here, just watch the whole opening monologue. It was excellent. Tam Honks!
bonodiddyanigif_enhanced-buzz-4008-1389579400-11.gifDiddy awkwardly trying to hug Bono was excruciating. [Buzzfeed]

emmathompsonglobes.gifLiving angel sent from above Emma Thompson came out drinking a martini and took her shoes off. [Gawker]

gwynethanigif_enhanced-buzz-28440-1389591119-20.gifGwyneth was having none of it. [Buzzfeed]

amypbonoa_560x375.gifamypbono2a_560x375.gifAmy Poehler, our current cover babe, got a shoulder massage from Bono and then made out him when she won the award for best actress in a comedy. [Vulture]

jlawtswiftanigif_enhanced-buzz-8265-1389573320-4.gifJennifer Lawrence, master red carpet photobomber. [Buzzfeed]

Amy Poehler as Randy, Tina Fey's pissy teen son, was so, so good.

tumblr_mzbn0bTvVw1qh0b3jo1_250.gifBest intro of the night. [Shygirl364

parksandrecanigif_enhanced-buzz-2735-1389576883-15.gifThis was also an excellent photobomb, cast of Parks and Rec. [Buzzfeed]

enhanced-buzz-9017-1389584117-17.jpgHow cute is this tender little photo of Seth Meyers losing his shiz over Andy Samberg's win last night? [Via @NBCSNL]

anigif_enhanced-buzz-26300-1389570357-29.gifElisabeth Moss represented the universe when she flipped off the E! red carpet mani cam. [Buzzfeed]

Aaron Paul's acceptance speech for Breaking Bad was eloquent, tender, smart. [Reddit]

Jacqueline Bisset's acceptance speech for some mini series we've never heard of was insane. When she wasn't taking long pauses and struggling to form sentences, she was cursing and telling everyone to go to hell. Actually, scratch that, Jacqueline Bisset's acceptance speech was the best speech of the night.
We love Diane Keaton with every fiber of our being, but her singing that one song from Girl Scouts during her tribute to Woody Allen made us scream into a pillow. And then Ronan Farrow shut it the fuck down. [@RonanFarrow]

10 Observations On the First Two Episodes of Girls (Warning: Spoilers!)

Girls is baaaack. Below, we break down ten highlights each from the first two episodes.

Screen Shot 2014-01-13 at 12.10.05 PM.pngEPIDSODE 1: "Females Only"

1. Hannah and Adam are good -- very good...
Season 3 opens with a shot of Hannah and Adam's legs intertwined in bed together and, for now at least, it seems like the two are the best they've ever been. We learn they're living together and that Adam has been nursing Hannah back to health, even monitoring her pill intake.

2. ...But Adam totally (and not surprisingly) fucked over Natalia.

While coming by the new restaurant where Hannah and Ray work (R.I.P. Cafe Grumpy), Adam runs into Natalia, who's having lunch with her blonde, engaged friend, Angie (played superbly by Amy Schumer). Adam tries to avoid eye contact but Angie drags Natalia over to him and an EPIC confrontation ensues. This shit has everything: Angie calling out Adam for blowing Natalia off after telling her he loved her, Natalia throwing major shade at Hannah, Angie pretending Natalia's pregnant with Adam's love child. Ay yay yay. It's awesome. As much as we like seeing Hannah and Adam back together again, we're glad Natalia -- who seemed perfectly nice and normal -- has the chance to put Adam and his shitty behavior in his place. Comparing his behavior toward Hannah with that toward Natalia, we still can't decide if we think Adam is really a good guy who gives into dark impulses or a bad guy who sometimes does the right thing.

3. Season 3 Couple Alert! Ray and Angie?

Okay, this may be just wishful thinking since Angie is supposedly engaged but we totally loved it when the two women leave the restaurant -- without paying! -- and Ray mutters, "I really like that blonde one. She's a feisty, feisty shiksa."

4. Meanwhile, Marnie's been put through the wringer...again

We've known the Marnie-Charlie break up 2.0 was coming for a while but had no idea how it'd play out (more on that later) but, in the meantime, we see how Marnie's been coping. Not well. She's stuck living with her crazy Jersey mom (Rita Wilson) in her mom's "bachelorette pad," sleeping on an uncomfy-looking couch and moping around. Her mom has lost all sympathy for her daughter's broken heart and can only tell her that Charlie is the "first of 20 guys who will fuck you over." Nice, mom. But Marnie insists she's getting it (sort of) together, having landed a job and found a new apartment. We see Marnie waiting for the bus into the city before the scene cuts back to Hannah and Ray's restaurant. Turns out Marnie works there now, too.

5. Jessa's back!
After inexplicably ditching Hannah at her father's house upstate last season, Jessa's resurfaced and it turns out she's been in rehab in Woodstock, attending group meetings with KIM GORDON! And Taystee! (Well actually just Orange Is the New Black's Danielle Brooks who plays a recovering addict named Laura.) Jessa's in a bad place: she's openly hostile toward the other folks in rehab, refuses to participate in meetings, and has apparently been caught fraternizing with the other male addicts so much that she has to wear a sign around her neck that says "females only." We never quite learn what's precipitated her stay but we know from Season 2 that Jessa's experimented with heroin in the past and probably/definitely has had a drinking problem. At any rate, she's now landed in group therapy with Kim Gordon-as-a-meth-addict-named-Mindy (who Jessa accuses of liking scrunchies) and a guy named Kelvin who's "sad a fro-yo place opened on his block." Ahhh gentrification.
6. Hannah having a meeting with her editor in a candy store is perfect
Man, it's like an effin' see-saw with these four girls -- when one is down, the other is up. They can never all be up -- or down -- at the same time or else the show will lose balance. While Marnie and Jessa are going through their own personal hells, Hannah seems pretty okay. She meets her editor (John Cameron Mitchell) in some sort of candy store where he compliments her progress and tells her he wants to get the first chapter of her e-book published on Nerve. Sounds about right.

7. Shoshonna is alternating between sex and studies
As for Shosh, it's not totally clear where she falls on the mental-emotional spectrum. It would appear that she's self-medicating after her break-up with Ray by alternating between two distractions: casual sex and serious studying. We see her in bed -- a dorm bunk bed -- with some dude (played by Evan Jonigkeit, Zosia Mamet's alleged real-life BF) and later in the library with a stack of books, burrowing into her zip-up hoodie like a little turtle. But, as we later learn, the girl is totally in control (or at least thinks she is).  

8. Hannah is going to host a dinner party...much to Adam's dismay
Despite Hannah and Adam's general solidity, his dickishness rears its ugly head (sorry/not sorry for the penis pun) when she starts talking about a dinner party they'd agreed to have with Shosh and Marnie. After complaining about Hannah's friends and asking why the three girls can't just go out together instead, Hannah tells him, "But you're my partner in life and love and I want you to be a part of everything I do on this Earth." Ultimately he acquiesces...maybe things are getting serious for real?

9. Jessa calls Taystee/Laura a lesbian...but later performs oral sex on her
In a group meeting, Jessa randomly -- and totally inappropriately -- starts harrassing Taystee Laura and tries to out her as a lesbian. Afterwards, she comes by Laura's room to apologize where Laura reveals that she is, in fact, gay but doesn't really want to talk about it because she's afraid people will make her do sports (she hates sports). Later we see Jessa performing oral sex on her. Makes sense.

10. Hannah has her dinner party and we (sorta) learn what happened with Charlie
The dinner party scene brought a lot of nuanced character study into play. The three girl friends seem to finally be in a healthy place with respect to one another but there's still this niggling twentysomething narcissism. Shosh blabs about her study-and-sexcapades, Marnie mopes about her recent break-up and, though she tries to be empathetic, Hannah can't help but say things like "this isn't the appropriate time to talk about my incredibly exciting professional endeavor." But it's clear they're all trying to be friends and it's nice to see that, on some level, Hannah and Marnie seem to be there for each other. It's also during the dinner party that we find out the circumstances behind Marnie and Charlie's abrupt (second) break-up: he left her after they "bought the ingredients to make grilled pizza." It sounds like she hasn't seen -- nor heard from -- him since. But Adam has. Props to the writer behind Adam's response when Marnie asks him what he told Charlie about her: "She's good. She's good. She seems very clean."
Best lines of the episode:

"Does he sound like a dog when he's fucking you and shoots his cum all over the place like it's fucking confetti? In my hair! I had to get a goddamn blow out when I left you." -- Natalia

"Mindy enjoys wearing scrunchies. No one has addressed that."
"Scrunchies? I've never worn a fucking scrunchie in my whole life!"
"You WANT to wear them though."
-- Jessa and Mindy

"You write about jerking a kidney stone out of a Puerto Rican Jew's dick and you tell me you're embarrassed?" -- Hannah's editor

"I don't like to frickin' play sports. People always think 'lesbians like sports' and I'm like, 'What?' I'm worried if I tell everybody they're gonna ask me to do sports."
-- Laura

Screen Shot 2014-01-13 at 12.12.01 PM.pngEPISODE 2: "Truth Or Dare"

1. Of course Hannah and Shosh would be singing to Maroon 5 in the car
When episode 2 begins, we see Hannah, Adam and Shosh in a rental car heading to Woodstock, New York, to pick Jessa up from rehab after Hannah and Adam received a call from Jessa the night before. Hannah and Shosh seem pretty chill about it but Adam is still grumpy that he's forced to spend more time with Hannah's friends.

2. We see more of Jessa's budding -- and doomed -- friendship with the weird British guy
In the first episode, we saw Jessa bonding with another rehab patient, a 50-something Brit with whom she can smoke, make wisecracks and play checkers. Although it's nice to see that Jessa hasn't alienated everyone in rehab, the implication that her friendship with this dude is just another example of Jessa trying to find a surrogate figure figure practically hits us over the head. Throughout the course of their interactions, the Brit mentions his estranged daughter, accuses Jessa of having daddy issues and basically ensures that this relationship is not meant to end well. Besides, the guy wears paisley shirts. Enough said.

3. Shosh buys a rocking chair
We loved when the threesome stopped for lunch at a diner upstate and Shosh refuses to eat anything (because the calories aren't printed on the menu) so she decides to buy a rocking chair instead. Perfect. 

4.  Hannah's so relaxed about the rehab road trip because she's hoping it'll turn into a story for her book
If you think Hannah's finally learned how to be completely and utterly selfless and is schlepping up to Woodstock to pick up Jessa for purely altruistic reasons, think again. At one point in the car she expresses her disappointment that their road trip is pretty boring and probably won't be good material for her e-book. As she puts it during this mini-epiphany, sometimes "a road trip is not a metaphor. It just isn't." 

5. The motel room scene is so wonderful and awkward even though the whole premise makes no sense
It takes only two hours to drive from Greenpoint to Woodstock so unless the trio spent 6 goddamn hours eating lunch, we have no idea why they had to stop overnight and stay in a motel. But it was pretty funny that they did because we got to see a bit more of Hannah and Adam's routine as a more "settled" couple and because Shosh is in the room on a cot bed with them. Adam's wiped from driving and only wants to go to sleep/have sex and gripes at Hannah to turn off her computer and at Shosh to switch off the sitcom she's watching. Both comply but before they go to bed, Shosh suggests the three of them play Truth Or Dare. We learn Adam really is a Martian because he tells them he's never played it before and Shosh dares him to kiss Hannah. Hannah predictably calls Shosh out because it's lame to dare someone to kiss their girlfriend. They abandon the game and then Hannah and Adam passive-aggresively kick Shosh out of the room so they can have sex before going to bed.
6. Hannah reveals more of Jessa's backstory while eating Shosh's Chex Mix
Hannah goes into the motel hallway to tell Shosh she can come back into the room and finds her huddled by the vending machine picking at Chex Mix. They start talking about Jessa and, while Hannah seems to express concern for their friend, it's clear that despite Shosh's newfound sexual freedom and academic seriousness, she still has the Emotional Intelligence of a twelve-year-old. She brushes off Jessa's rehab stay as a "rite of passage" for celebrities (leading to a hilarious exchange about the correct pronunciation of Ryan Phillippe's last name) and only seems relieved at the fact that Jessa will be able to attend Shosh's graduation and pose in her photos. Hoping to get Shosh to appreciate that Jessa is a seriously troubled young woman with attachment issues, Hannah tells a story about one time at Oberlin when Jessa came down with a bad kidney infection and, after weeks of having her friends come by to visit her, starts crying when they all leave her to go to class.   

7. Hannah listening to This American Life in the forest via her iPhone is exactly what we would do if we were dragged on an impromptu hike
En route to Jessa's rehab, Adam spontaneously pulls over on the side of the road to go hiking. Shosh is on board but Hannah is not having it. Cut to her curled up in a semi-fetal position on the ground, listening to a This American Life podcast.

8. No surprise, Jessa's new "friend" tries to proposition her
Hours before she's about to leave, Jessa goes to say goodbye to the middle-aged Brit who's clearly on (or off) some pills. No longer in his natty European dress shirts and slacks, he's wearing pajamas and raving about, saying how happy he is that Jessa hasn't left before they've had the chance to "properly fuck." Jessa's caught off-guard and resists while the Brit makes his case by reminding her that she'd already expressed her DTF-ness when they first met. Now where have we seen Jessa get accused of leading on an older man before...
9. Maybe Shosh is more freaked out about Jessa's rehab visit than we gave her credit for
While waiting for Jessa inside the rehab, we see Shosh frantically pacing around to the point where the grandmotherly receptionist asks her to go somewhere else. Later, we see Shosh outside smoking a cigarette with some of the other rehab patients. The best part? In her sweatpants and hoodie, she's dressed exactly the same as the recovering addicts.

10.  Surprise! Jessa conned the three of them into picking her up
After Jessa comes out and the four are getting ready to leave, her therapist reveals that Jessa did not, in fact, need anyone to come "sign her out" and that she could have gotten a ride to the airport from the rehab staff. Confused and a little hurt, Hannah and Jessa have a heart to heart (that includes a spot-on Oberlin anecdote) but nevertheless patch things up because Hannah seems to accept that this behavior is just another example of Jessa's neediness and irrational fear of being alone.

Best lines of the episode:

"You decided to cut your hair like a little boy on a fancy cookie box" -- Shosh

"I took my seatbelt off. It smells like straight ketchup." -- Hannah

"I will never be bored as long as there is Halloween." -- Shosh

"Truth or dare is the game that teaches children how to behave like adults. I was playing truth or dare the first time I got fingered." -- Hannah

"By the way it's Phil-i-PEE -- I heard on
Extra." -- Hannah

"She has been removed from our program for various offenses including fraternizing and distributing a zine of provocative cartoons." -- Rehab therapist

"It made me remember what it was like in college when you'd say, 'Oh, meet me at the Free Palestine party' and then I find out you're over at the Israel house." -- Hannah 

Three's a Trend: The Golden Globes Mom Date

Older men dating much younger women is of course nothing new, from the hills of Hollywood to the suburbs of the Midwest, but we noticed that perhaps in an attempt to dodge hosts Tina Fey, Amy Poehler's jabs these three nominees left their inappropriately-aged girlfriends at home (did we call it, or did we call it?) and brought their moms as their dates instead.

Screen Shot 2014-01-13 at 12.49.52 PM.pngPhoto: Patrick McMullan Company

Leo, who picked up his second Golden Globe for The Wolf of Wall Street, almost escaped any mention of the fact that he uses the Victoria's Secret runway as his own personal pickup hot spot, but much to his dismay, Tina and Amy worked his modelizing into the best intro of the night. Unfortunately though, they couldn't pan to his latest model GF -- the 21-year-old Toni Garrn -- for her reaction since he brought his mom, Irmelin as his date.

Screen Shot 2014-01-13 at 12.55.04 PM.pngPhoto: Patrick McMullan Company

Leo's bud, American Hustle star Bradley Cooper brought his sunglasses-at-night wearing mom Gloria instead of his girlfriend Suki Waterhouse, a 22-year-old British It-girl. Maybe she'll get the Oscars invite...

Joaquin-Phoenix-mom-Arlyn-his-date-Golden-Globes.jpgAfter Joaquin Phoenix's new 19-year-old DJ girlfriend Allie Teilz got carded at Her's premiere in New York he probably thought it best that he bring his mom, Arlyn to the Golden Globes instead of risking the chances of getting thrown out of the after party after Allie tried to use her Greenwich Village special on security. Girl, you gotta make sure it has that hologram!

Before they Were Golden: Amy, Leo, Andy and more in Paper

We dug into the Paper vaults to bring your our early coverage of last night's big Golden Globes winners. Seeing 20-year-old Leonardo Dicaprio in Oakleys will change your life.

2924 Paper 10-thumb-600x718-90675.jpgphoto by Steven Sebring

Before he was a Wolf of Wall Street, for which he won the Globe for Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy, a 20-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio was wearing Oakleys and rocking 1995-loads of gel in Paper. DiCaprio told us he wasn't interested in pursuing the giant-box office star route:

"I don't want to be ahead of the pack. I don't want to be the gigantic romantic lead guy. Not to say there's anything wrong with that, but as long as I can stay along with the pack and keep running with it, in the end I'll probably have a good body of work to look back on. The only thing I'd probably consider doing -- as far as those types of movies are concerned -- is the next Star Wars trilogy. If that were ever to come up, that would be a tough decision, 'cause that would be awesome."

photo by Cass Bird

Back in Paper's September 2007 issue, Andy Samberg, who won for Best Actor in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy for his role on Brooklyn Nine-Nine (which also took home an award for  Best TV series, musical or comedy), was just grateful that Dick in the Box and the culty comedy flop Hot Rod were helping alleviate some of the pressure that "Lazy Sunday's" success created for the Lonely Island:

"I think 'Dick in a Box' really took the pressure off a lot. And by pressure I mean took the pressure off our balls. It really lifted the dick up. And the video 'Dick in a Box' with Justin Timberlake took the pressure off more figuratively. After 'Lazy Sunday,' I was like, 'This is going to be the only thing anyone is ever going to want to talk to me about for the rest of my life.' I mean, I was really happy that we had something that people connected with, but you don't want to be the band that always has people talking about their first album. After 'Dick in a Box,' we were like, 'Ahhh, now we have two things we can talk about.' And then after Hot Rod it was three."

And here's Lorne Michaels predicting that Hot Rod will likely be held up one day as some of Samberg's best work: "Critics just don't like new comedians, and they certainly don't like them if they come from SNL or television. Later on, they revise their opinions and say that so-and-so's later films aren't as good as the first ones. I think the picture will be thought of differently in two years."

Screen Shot 2014-01-13 at 2.21.01 PM.pngphoto by Jacqueline Di Milia.

When we featured Elisabeth Moss, who won Best actress in a miniseries or TV movie for her role in Jane Campions' detective mini-series Top of the Lake, back in October 2008, she was two seasons into Mad Men and willing to dedicate a big chunk of 2009 to starring in David Mamet's Speed the Plow.

"For five months we're going to be doing the show. And it's David Mamet ... You don't not do David Mamet."

Screen Shot 2014-01-13 at 3.35.26 PM.png

Back when we made Globes host and winner Amy Poehler a Beautiful Person in 2003, she described her 2001 debut as a cast member on Saturday Night Live thusly:

"I just stayed out of the way and tried not to ruin anything."

amycover2.jpgPhoto by Walter Chin

In our 2013/14 Winter Issue, on stands now, Amy Poehler chalked up Parks and Recreation's rabid following to the show's writing. Poehler won Best actress in a TV series, musical or comedy for her portrayal of Parks' ever-optimistic, super-ambitious Leslie Knope.

"That's a testament to Mike Schur, Greg Daniels [the show's creators] and the writers. The writing's really top-notch. I dig shows where all the characters don't talk like the 28-year-old writer in the room. Like, there was never a moment in All in the Family where Archie was aware of what an idiot he was, and wink-winked it, and said, 'OMG.'"

Ahead of Their "Three-Way Stereo" Song, Watch NightBus'"I Wanna Be You" Video


WARNING: This is not the "three-way stereo" song mentioned in the New York Times today, but it is the same band, NightBus. At one time, the LA/London-based band was signed to Island Records and in 2010 they released this track, "I Wanna Be You." Tomorrow they are planning to release a new single called "When the Night Time Comes" that promises to change the way we listen to music, or at least to cram three songs into one. They've accomplished this by using stereo in a new way: the left and right channels each feature different versions of the song and, when balanced properly, there's also a third version. In the meantime, check out the video for "I Wanna Be You," above.

In Defense of Zoe Saldana's Golden Globes Dress

zoe1.jpgAt last night's Golden Globes, actress Zoe Saldana wore a custom made dress by her friend and New York designer (and former PAPER Beautiful Person) Prabal Gurung. The collaged-creation took an instant beating from the Twitter-verse, destined to today's worst-dressed lists, and despite a few champions like VOGUE and...well, me, that's exactly where it ended up.

Although she's frequently front row at fashion week and celebrated as a style-icon, landing on an Awards show worst-dressed list isn't anything new for Saldana -- I think her purple Givenchy  dress for the 2010 Oscars is still receiving shade -- but it's also a sign that she knows exactly what she's doing. From designer to silhouette, Saldana's red carpet game is a mesmerizing display of bold, unpredictable choices that make you think twice about what you really want from red carpet dressing. Filed in the same risk-taking camp as Diane Kruger, Marion Cotillard, Charlize Theron or the incomparable Cate Blanchett, Saldana's looks always pack a punch that horrify or delight, depending on how you look at them.

Girl has tried everything from suggestive cutouts, sheer paneling, overflowing ruffles, eye-grabbing colors or prints, crop tops to asymmetrical silhouettes. She wears off the beaten-red carpet designers like Rodarte, Givenchy and Alexis Mabille. And she does it all with grace and elegance.  

I understand the immediate backlash to Saldana's Globes dress' combination of epileptic embellishment, shark fin decolletage, and geometric paneling -- there was A LOT going on there -- but it fit impeccably, her hair and make up were flawlessly understated, a necessary move in such a lively look, and she balanced the dress' eye-grabbing display with effortless poise, which is something even the most successful stylist can't fake. 

I'll take an unexpected, cuckoo cocktail number over a T. Swift Old Hollywood glam snooze fest any day. Saldana might be making worst-dressed rankings, but who's talking about Taylor Swift's Carolina Herrera (god bless your unparalleled taste for elegance) philanthropic prom dress? No one. Being boring is more of a kiss of death on the red carpet then any well-styled wild card, and that's the game Saldana plays.         

I dream of a day when red carpets are full of fashion-crazy chicness like Rick Owens, Roksanda Ilincic, Dries van Noten or John Paul Gaultier. But those designs take a specific type of person to make them succeed on the red carpet, and let's face it, most actresses probably punctuate their dreams of Hollywood success with an award show debut in the typical Garbo waves and a strapless Oscar de la Renta ballgown. So for now, it's important to cheer on the risk takers, the unconventional because for every one of those, there's ten others perpetuating red carpet conventionality. Shying away from the predictable, Saldana gives you something no one else is doing, and to me, that's style.