Five 'n' Five: Resolutions Meant to Be Broken

January 3, 2014, 1:30 pm

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In this weekly column, MC/DJ Hesta Prynn pairs pop culture stories with an original playlist.










For many of us, the New Year signifies an opportunity to "out with the old" our bad habits and "in the with new" some better ones. This week's Five 'n' Five pairs some of the most common resolutions with some tracks by 2014 Next Big Things that will hopefully inspire you to keep them.  Try to read this before your trade in your bi-weekly trips to the gym for bi-weekly trips to the bar.

1. Meet "The One" 
"Fall in Love" by Phantogram
Lyric to remember: "Fall in me, I'll let you breathe"
One night stands are so 2013. So are funemployed dudes who live in their parents basements. And babes who fight over text message. It's 2014, find a soulmate already.

2. Spend Less Money
"Impossible" by Ryan Star
Unless you're planning on moving away from the major city in which you live I wouldn't hold my breath on this one.  In the words of Ryan Star, the alt-rock Frank Ocean, "It isn't impossible".  It is, however, highly unlikely.

3. Get a Better Job
"Go Slow" by Haim
Lyric to remember: "Go slow, you know you ain't gonna make it."
You fantasized about this all December while spending your work days on Gilt.  You spent all of winter break watching a Breaking Bad marathon.  You're back at work without that new resume you planned on writing.  Rinse.  Repeat. 

4. Be a Better/Nicer/More Positive Person
"XXX 88" by MØ and Diplo
Lyric: "Life makes us critical, you know we gotta change the course."
Lay off of the Perez Hilton/Real Housewives recaps and you've got a shot at this one. Actually maybe disconnect your internet altogether.

5. Quit Smoking
"My Yout" by Joey Bada$$ feat Maverick Sabre
In all seriousness you really need to quit smoking.  It's a dangerous, expensive habit that will kill you. Even Jody Bada$$ gets this one, "My wealth is in my happiness and mine, and no my pocket health in it's ashes".  Duh.

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10 of Our Favorite First Kids Of All Time

January 3, 2014, 2:00 pm

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Chiara de Blasio
Daughter to the newly inaugurated New York Mayor Bill de Blasio, Chiara's likes include all kinds of metal music -- thrash, heavy, Viking, death, etc -- piercings and witch hats -- some of our favorite things too. She is awesome. Period.

 
Amy Carter
As the only Carter spawn to live in the White House, we really watched her grow up. Which took our minds off the Iran hostage crisis.
 
Susan Ford
General R. Ford's youngest child and only daughter held her 1975 senior prom in the White House's East Room, now those are our kind of conservatives. Yes, we said it.
 
Steven Ford
How many other first kids had a re-occurring role on Young and the Restless? These Ford kids had it going on.

Rose Kennedy
Not only a first mother (JFK was her son), this legendary lady who was more Catholic then most nuns, was the daughter of John Francis "Honey Fitz" Fitzgerald, Mayor of Boston from 1895 to 1901. She also had nine kids.

Patti Davis
We don't think Nancy Reagan ever won any Mother of the Year Awards, but Patti Davis is our kind of Republican Mummy's nightmare -- posing in Playboy, smoking pot and running around with left wing celebrities like Jackson Browne.
 
John F. Kennedy Jr.
Nobody did more shorteralls then John John dancing around the Oval Office. 

Barbara and Jenna Bush
Sure, their dad fucked this country up real good, but you know you could hang with these two and swap fake ID stories.

Justin Trudeau
The eldest son of perhaps the sexiest, chicest first couple in history, Pierre Trudeau, long-serving Canadian Prime Minister, and Margaret Trudeau, a glamorous fixture at Studio 54. Justin is currently a Canadian politician and the leader of the Liberal Party of Canada -- we love a dynasty. 



Alice Roosevelt Longworth
She smoked, ran up debts playing poker, took snakes to parties, had her only child via an affair with another man, described herself as a "hedonist" to 60 Minutes and coined our favorite bitchy catchphrase of all time: "If you can't say something good about someone, sit right here by me."

The Most Awesome Christmas Pageant Solo Ever

January 6, 2014, 6:15 am

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Here's an adorable clip of a kid letting loose with an indecipherable solo during a Christmas pageant. Blonde girl's "oh dear" face in background is pretty good, but whoever's the tiny owner of this fabulously awesome disembodied voice is obviously the true star of this shiz. You keep singing! [Jezebel]
 

Jon Hamm narrates this Funny Or Die cop show spoof starring Downton Abbey's Michelle Dockery as a hard-edged cop who is, well, kind of just a crime-solving Lady Mary with a gun. We'd watch.

Behold, "Dog Vogue," a series of portraits by photographer Sophie Gamand of chihuahuas in pet couture. Prints are for sale and partial proceeds go to helping homeless animals. [LaughingSquid]

This is what happens when you ask Siri about Her. Day-um. [Buzzfeed]

2014 motto. [Seamus Gallagher]



Monday antidote: This compilation of pugs snoring.
 

Lit/Erotica Journal Adult magazine is the Anti Fifty Shades of Grey

January 6, 2014, 9:10 am

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"The guys actually jerked off, but I think the girls mostly faked." Talking shop with Adult magazine editor Sarah Nicole Prickett is stimulating, to say the least. Recently launched, the contemporary erotic literary magazine is "by women, but not necessarily for women. It's just not for men." Born out of a discontented winter fueled by wine, porn and Netflix (amen!) Prickett set about creating a smart rag you can go to bed with.

Published by Paper contributor Noah Wunsch and designed by Berkeley Poole, Adult, as its editor's note in the inaugural issue declares, strives for "a better, more intelligent age." Going for the literary punch that was '60s-era Playboy, but with a decidedly more feminist approach, Issue One features a retrospective of Erica Jong's trailblazing novel on female desire Fear of Flying, a piece on sex toys by Stephanie LaCava and a profile of director Deborah Kampmeier, alongside poetry, short fiction, personal essays and, yes, porn. The masturbation photos in question are from a feature entitled "Auto Erotic," which starkly depicts attractive young things getting off in their bedrooms.

Publishing a new print magazine when most are dying is an ambitious move, but one easily made. "Over the course of working on it, all this stuff came out about NSA surveillance and Google Glass, and these major developments made me think again about all the time I spend on the Internet. It made me feel sort of unsafe. Everything felt too naked, too transparent, and I wanted to take it back to this private, pleasurable place," says Prickett.
This being 2013, there is also an Adult website, which features a literary erotic writing component surpassing the standard set by E L James ("It's not sexy to not have good syntax," says Prickett.), and a second issue is on the docket for spring. Boobs are great, but naturally we wanted to know if we will ever see any penises gracing Adult. "That's the dream," says Prickett. Indeed. 

Adult magazine is available on Artbook.com

Will Forte Recounts His Nebraska Road Trip With the Legendary Bruce Dern

January 6, 2014, 10:00 am

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Former SNL performer and MacGruber star Will Forte made his serious-screen debut last month in Alexander Payne's latest, Nebraska. Here Forte recounts the road trip he took with his Academy-Award-nominated costar Bruce Dern for the film. They play father and son Woody and David Grant, who drive from their home in Billings, Montana, to Lincoln, Nebraska, to collect the Publishers Clearing House-style prize money Woody thinks he's won. One thing Forte learned? Dern can do a mean Hitchcock impersonation.

I never thought that I would get a chance to work with somebody like Alexander Payne, and the whole experience was so wonderful, but I think my favorite part was the final week of shooting -- after we had done all the scenes with dialogue -- when they filmed us making the same road trip that we make in the movie, from Billings, Montana, to Lincoln, Nebraska. Alexander followed Bruce and me in the RV that Jack Nicholson drives in About Schmidt with this contraption on the front of it, which robotically moves the camera. It was a wonderful last week; all the pressure was off because you've done all the heavy lifting, and you just get to spend this week on the road with this group of people that you got to be such good friends with over the course of the production.

Bruce and I talked the whole time. There were moments when we knew the camera was going to come up right beside us and we'd have to look out the window and not say anything, but most of the time we were just gabbing away. He has the best stories. He would impersonate the different people he would talk about. He had John Wayne and Jack Nicholson stories and he would talk about making Family Plot and Marnie with Alfred Hitchcock. I also got a fascinating personal history. Hearing about his life never got old. The relationship we went through on screen was very similar to the transformation of the relationship off screen -- we got to be really close, and still are. He's still very much a part of my life. It was a really special experience professionally, but it was just as special, if not more, for me personally.

I don't know what I thought Nebraska was going to look like, but there was something about it that was so much more beautiful than I expected. I'd certainly heard the joke going into filming where people would be like, "Oh get ready for some corn," and I certainly was not disappointed with the amount of corn I saw -- but it was also just so different. There were a lot of big rolled-up corn husk bales, and the way the light would hit these things -- especially in the morning and at night -- was really stunning.

It was also a wonderful way to see Mount Rushmore. Two years ago I happened to be in Bismarck, North Dakota, to see a friend's show. Isn't that where people go to see theater? Bismarck? And I had never seen Mount Rushmore. I was 41 years old and I thought, "What are the chances I'll be back here?" So I rented a car and drove down to Mount Rushmore, but it was snowing and you could barely make out the faces. It seemed like there was someone holding a giant screen door in front of it. I waited for a bit, but I had a flight, so I thought, "Well I guess that's how God wanted me to see Mount Rushmore." I had been able to make it out just enough to cross it off the checklist, but I was excited to get a second chance. I always hear people go, "Oh I don't know, it didn't do much for me. It's a lot smaller than you think," but I loved it. The air was really crisp and the skies could not have been more clear. I could have stayed there and stared at those guys for a whole day.

Film stills from Nebraska starring Will Forte and Bruce Dern in black and white and Forte's candid behind-the-scenes photos in color.

Check back on PAPERMAG.com for more travel tales!

Listen to Chromeo's New Track "Come Alive" ft. Toro y Moi

January 6, 2014, 11:15 am

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Our favorite Montreal imports since William Shatner, Chromeo, have a new single out today featuring Toro y Moi. Combining the best of the duo's signature '80s funk steez with elements of Toro y Moi's dreamy synths, "Come Alive" has a sort of Loverboy "Working for the Weekend" motif with Dave 1 crooning lyrics like "I asked your boss for your number / I never wondered which way you would go. / You woke me up from my slumber / Now let me break your work flow" and "Come alive / Give it up, girl, before you lose your mind. / Come alive / They've got you under pressure doing overtime." On this crappy January Monday, we could use some funky Canadians to wake us up from our slumber. In the meantime, we'll settle for listening to "Come Alive," below.

"Come Alive" appears on the band's forthcoming album, White Women, out this spring. You can catch the duo on tour starting this April.

Author Gary Shteyngart On Mumbai's Glowing Flamingos and Bollywood Bars

January 6, 2014, 12:45 pm

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Gary Shteyngart, one of the funniest and most original satiric novelists today, frequently travels for Travel + Leisure magazine and other publications. Here, the Leningrad-born author of Absurdistan, The Russian Debutante's Handbook, Super Sad True Love Story and the forthcoming memoir Little Failure, out January 7th, tells us about going to Mumbai, sight-seeing amid nuclear waste and embracing his "Neiman Marxism."

I travel a lot for Travel + Leisure magazine and went to Mumbai last year with my friend Suketu Mehta, who wrote Maximum City: Bombay Lost and Found. We had a pretty good time. I really just like to hang out when I travel. I hate museums. I don't get them. The life of the city is the real museum.

My tips for visiting Mumbai are to take a lot of cabs because they're cheap, and to not be afraid of eating everything and then dying. You should also stay at the Taj Mahal hotel if you can. I stayed at the Taj and had my own personal butler named Samrat. I took to having a butler like a fish to water. My butler was so good at cleaning my shoes! As a Marxist, the idea of having a butler upsets me. But as a Neiman Marxist, it makes me happy.

I mentioned this in my Travel + Leisure piece, but some gangsters and police ran us out of a luxury housing building north of Mumbai in east Banda one day. They were demolishing an old housing colony that we had gone to visit before they knocked it down, and the gangsters got pissed off. They chased us off and it actually started to get kind of violent. That was a little scary. And then we saw some radioactive flamingos in a nearby bay that was located next to a crazy nuclear-waste plant. The flamingos glow in the dark at night, but we only saw them during the day. There were these signs up that said things like "Flamingo view," which I thought was funny.

I also met a parrot who told me my future. There was this guy who had a talking parrot, and it told me that I shouldn't work on Saturday. I guess the parrot somehow realized I was Jewish.

I ate a lot of food. I had Bombay duck, which is actually fish. I ate it fried. And I had the vada pav, which is really a street snack, but I had a more high-end version of it. It's like a fried potato fritter inside a piece of bread. Almost like a veggie burger, if you will. I loved it. I went to a great place in Bandra, which is a little like Mumbai's Brooklyn, called Pali Bhavan. They have this thing called galouti kebab, which the menu said was "created for leisure-loving nobles who preferred not to chew." So, like a kebab for a king without teeth. Or a baby. 

I went to this Bollywood bar called WTF, which I think is a chain. There are several WTFs. People there love their Bollywood stars. And the stars look great. They always have great hair. I met a Bollywood star -- I can't remember what her name was -- at a rooftop bar near the Taj. She was a nice woman, who talked psychoanalysis and tango with me. She told me she'd had a great psychoanalyst, but then discovered tango and that became her way of living.

I was in India for a while. I also went to a literary festival in Jaipur. It was nice, because people in India still like to read for some reason. I don't know why. Even if you're nobody, if you're a writer, people want to touch your hand and stuff. All these kids came from an elementary school just to be able to hang out next to a writer. It was very weird. The kids didn't have money for books, so I just signed the air next to them.

Check back on PAPERMAG.com for more travel tales!

Tanya Selvaratnam on Her New Book, The Big Lie

January 6, 2014, 1:00 pm

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Nearing the release of her provocatively titled new book The Big Lie: Motherhood, Feminism and the Reality of the Biological Clock, Tanya Selvaratnam, a writer, producer and executive at the Rubell Family Collection, shares her thoughts on infertility and IVF treatments, the financial cost of reproductive medicine, finding a work/life balance and achieving solace in her creativity.  

I tell my friends that I skipped a mid-life crisis and went straight to an end-of-life crisis. During a three-year period -- between 2009 and 2012 -- I had a series of miscarriages, was diagnosed with cancer, and experienced even more shocks to my system -- many of which I recount in my book The Big Lie: Motherhood, Feminism, and the Reality of the Biological Clock. Nothing could have prepared me for the rumble strip -- a period when everything falls apart -- my life had become. But today, I have never felt happier and more optimistic. I credit being an artist with helping me find my way.

Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor wrote in her memoir, My Beloved World: "There are uses to adversity, and they don't reveal themselves until tested. . . . Difficulty can tap unsuspected strengths." Artists are among the lucky ones who have the tools to turn adversity into action. In my case, instead of crumbling, I wrote a book. I couldn't feel sorry for myself; I had deadlines to meet, research to complete, and people to interview. My network of friends and artists gave me extra strength and support and helped me write myself out of the belly of the whale.

In The Big Lie, I explore the various lies we are told and tell ourselves: We can do things on our own timetables; we can manipulate evolution; we don't need feminism anymore, etc. Creative people are by nature more likely to break with convention, including with regard to choices about love and family, but as we get older, we all face the same ineluctable truths: not thinking proactively about certain life goals -- such as parenthood -- might result in them being more difficult to attain.

I wrote the book that I needed when I was going through my rumble strip. It's the book I wish I had had when I was coming of age, winging it about my future aspirations. I've seen many creative friends forfeit personal life goals because they believe those goals will interfere with their artistic pursuits. For anyone, the costs of dealing with infertility and pursuing treatment can be prohibitive unless you reside in one of the fifteen states that mandate some form of insurance coverage for fertility treatments. Many artists I know don't even have health insurance and live at the subsistence level, hand-to-mouth. When you factor in the average cost of raising a child (about $235,000 for a child's first seventeen years), childbearing becomes even less feasible for the creative class.

But creative people have an outlet for their difficult experiences. In my case, as it became clear that my quest to have a biological child was quixotic, I found hope in my artistic pursuits. All the energy I would have thrown into parenthood I directed towards my art. When I first started writing The Big Lie in 2011, I didn't intend to go so deeply into my personal story and I didn't know where my journey was taking me, but as a writer/friend told me about his own life seeping into his books, what I went through became "grist for the mill." When life throws you lemons... make art. 

My book is as much about the difficulties of balancing life and an artistic practice as it is about the work/life balance in general. I want people to embrace the multiplicity of ways in which people pursue parenthood (through adoption, single parenthood, queer partnerships, etc.) and moreover the different ways in which people choose to live their lives, with children or without. We are constantly pitching ourselves against the expectations and judgments of others, and this sets us up for disappointment or failure.

I wrote the book to offer what I learned from my own mistakes; to strip away the guilt women feel about abortion, miscarriage, and infertility; and to encourage debate and advocacy for better solutions. (Towards the end of the book, I list action items for the future and advice for people of different reproductive ages.) There are simple tools with which people can educate themselves about their fertilities (for instance, by checking out the resources on the American Society for Reproductive Medicine website,) and can lobby for better insurance coverage and more accessible and affordable infertility treatments (for example, through RESOLVE, the national infertility association.)

By sharing my story to connect to and offering up-to-date research and opinions, I hope I help others and inspire them to make change in their own lives. The filmmaker and my friend Lucy Walker directed the Academy Award-nominated documentary called Waste Land about catadores (recyclables pickers) who work in the largest landfill in Brazil. One of the men, Valter, talks about how every can he picks matters, everything anyone does means something, every person is important. He says, "99 is not 100, and that single one will make the difference."


Tanya Selvaratnam is a writer, an actor, a producer, and an activist. She has produced work by Chiara Clemente, Catherine Gund, Mickalene Thomas, and Carrie Mae Weems; and has performed with The Wooster Group and The Builders Association. She is also the Communications & Special Projects Officer for the Rubell Family Collection. As an activist, she has worked with the Ms. Foundation for Women, the Third Wave Foundation, the NGO Forum on Women, and the World Health Organization.

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10 People We Wanna See Romance the Girls Girls

January 6, 2014, 2:00 pm

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1. Dave Franco

With his good looks and gentlemanly charm, Franco would make the perfect old money, Upper East Side 'good guy' Shosh has probably always dreamed of. After a chance meeting at The Met (they took each other's umbrellas), Franco falls hard for Shoshonna's endearing neuroses but plays games with her poor, sock-bunned head. With him, Shosh feels like she's fulfilling all her Mr. Big and Carrie Bradshaw fantasies but ultimately she's still torn between the handsome douchbaggery of Dave Franco and that of her first love, Ray. Who will she choose?!?!?

2. Rory Culkin

While continuing to battle her quarter-life crisis, Marnie runs into Culkin, a scenester photographer with a penchant for pedophile glasses, tattoos and plaid shirts, at a new nightclub opening in Chinatown. Culkin creepily convinces a drunk and deluded Marnie that she missed her model calling and she agrees to pose for him. After inviting her over to his 'studio' for a photo shoot, Culkin seduces her and they start a pseudo-relationship that comes crashing down after he sells pictures of Marnie -- wearing only a pair of tube socks -- to American Apparel.

3. Bryan Greenberg

To the delight of the six people (ourselves included) who watched How to Make It In America, Greenberg's Ben Epstein returns to HBO. Since last we saw Ben, CRISP has taken off...sort of (it's sold on Karmaloop but nowhere else). Eager to get the brand sold in more stores, he hires Jessa (who's recently decided to moonlight as an "anti-fashion publicist") to represent them. Not surprisingly, Jessa has no idea what she's doing but manages to sweet talk her way into getting CRISP sold at a VFILES-esque boutique. The two go out to celebrate, get piss drunk, sleep together, and never speak -- or work -- together again. Sad clown.   

4. Kumail Nanjiani

Nanjiani is Teddy, a Greenpointer who decamps to Rockaway Beach come summer to surf and flip burgers at Rippers. He gives Hannah and Shoshana free frozen sangrias and he and Hannah make out later that night at a timeshare house party. While they're getting busy, Shoshanna spends nearly an hour trying to parallel park their Zipcar, leading to a meltdown and a tearful admission that she wants Ray back.


5. Jenny Shimizu

On her first assignment for Grub Street, Hannah heads to a trendy new restaurant in Gowanus and falls under the spell of its owner, an up-and-coming butcher (sorry) played by Jenny Shimizu. Naturally Hannah awkwardly freaks out at Shimizu's confident come-ons but simultaneously wonders whether she should embark on a lesbian relationship with Shimizu "for the experience." Deciding to go for it, Hannah accompanies Shimizu to the New York City Wine and Food Festival, where they're snapped by a Page Six photographer. Hannah's ego gets bruised when she sees her name has been omitted in the gossip story and has instead been captioned as Shimizu's "unknown lover." Predictably, the short-lived relationship combusts after this event when Hannah begins to freak out that she's doomed to forever be an "anonymous lesbian."

6. Oscar Isaac

Reprising his Llewyn Davis beard, Isaac plays the newest barista at Cafe Grumpy and has a season-long "will they or won't they"-type relationship with Hannah. Their flirtation culminates with Isaac groping Hannah's ass in one of the bathrooms before an angry customer (a cameo by David Hyde Pierce) interrupts their idyll by banging on the door.

7. Bobby Cannavale

Bobby Cannavale gets to fulfill his Girls fantasy by playing a handsome physical therapist named Paul, who offers to fix up an insurance-less Hannah off the books after she pulls a hamstring in a Soul Cycle class Shoshanna dragged her to. He also moonlights as a team doctor for the Nets. He and Hanna do it in the steam room.

8. Ezra Koenig

Koenig plays a "grown mahhhn" named Zeke Rothman who fronts a buzzy Brooklyn band called Werewolf Mondays. He flirts with Marnie one night after she and Hannah catch his band playing at a Williamsburg DIY space and invites the two girls to hang out with him in their dressing room. All goes well until he makes an unseemly pass at Marnie who becomes deeply uncomfortable. Fortunately the situation is defused when Hannah barfs in one of the dressing room's garbage cans after eating too much garlic hummus and honey roasted peanuts left over from the band's rider. 

9. Taylor Kitsch

Along with Zoe Kravitz, Taylor Kitsch plays one-half of a spiritual, polyamorous couple who's looking for a "third" to join their relationship. The two become impressed with Jessa's downward dog at one of Yoga to the People's candlelit classes and invite her for dinner at their apartment. After revealing their unorthodox lifestyle, an intrigued Jessa starts dating Kitvitz but everything goes awry when Zoe, fueled by jealously, starts binging on vices like an 18-year-old college freshman.

10. Ludacris

Playing against type, Luda appears as the bookish manager of a Rough Trade-esque Brooklyn record store where he woos Jessa with his impressive knowledge of UK noise bands. The two go out for beers at an East Williamsburg dive but Jessa quickly loses interest when she learns he rides a segway.

Old Spice Made a Freaky-Ass Commercial

January 7, 2014, 6:30 am

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In case you want to start your day with some nightmares, then check out this terrifying new Old Spice commercial featuring mom-dolls -- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??? -- lamenting that their sons are becoming men. [via Tastefully Offensive]

Love this surrealist '90s-era Net art. [via Tall Whitney]

This is pretty cool: a UK teen photographed himself every day for three years in such a way that he appears to be lip syncing Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now." [via Hyper Vocal]

2014 is the year of you doing you, Michelle & Barack. [via Coin Farts]

Here's an excellent mash-up of some of the best dance sequences in movie history. [via HuffPo Comedy]

Behold: Macaulay Culkin's Pizza Underground band released their first music video. [via Noisey]

ICYMI: Here's that super uncomfortable clip of director Michael Bay appearing at a technology conference to announce a new Samsung TV when his teleprompter stops working and he decides to awkwardly exit the stage. [via DListed]

Tuesday is brought to you by this fly collie in a cowboy hat, aviator shades and flannel riding a horse. [via Humor Train]

Are Cass McCombs and Albert Herter the Same Person?

January 7, 2014, 9:00 am

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Before making a wild guess at who really directed today's video for Cass McCombs' "Big Wheel," let's just say we doubt that it's really the man credited, Albert Herter.  The track is off McCombs' latest album Big Wheel and Others, and the clip -- which you'll have to watch a couple of times -- is a frenetic collage of colorful images, graphics and film clips that looks like the opening credits of a movie.  It's slick and cool and works perfectly with the song.  And the director?  Sure, it's possible that there's another person with the same name as the American artist who passed away in 1950. In fact, he's been credited as the illustrator of several McCombs album sleeves, and they've even co-written a short story. But maybe, if we can quote Mr. Herter from the blog As It Ought To Be, he's really an "elaborate persona constructed for the outside world, to get the job done."  Perhaps he's been "constructed" by Mr. McCombs?

Premiere: Milk Baths, Meat Slaps + More in The Henry Millers'"Hop"

January 7, 2014, 9:30 am

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Freud would have a field day analyzing "HOP," the delightfully absurd new video from New York pop rockers The Henry Millers. There's everything from milk baths, eggplant boobs and a bunch of attractive kids who all seem like they have oral fixations. The exuberant, dance-y track comes from the band's debut LP, Daisies. Since then, they've been working on a sophomore album, Posies (the recording of which may or may not have featured naked jam sessions). Watch "HOP," exclusively on PAPERMAG, above.

New Documentary Perfectly Captures NYC In the 90s

January 7, 2014, 9:40 am

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Take some time on this cold, cold day and watch Last Call, a wonderful documentary about New York City in the '90s. It's not the most professional film ever made, but what it lacks in continuity and slickness, is made up for in sincerity, honesty and heart-warming nostalgia. Shot by Ruth Slinger, it looks back on the '90s with hundreds of images that the Brazilian director shot while living and working in NYC with her brother Carlos "Soul" Slinger -- one of the featured talking heads -- at their SoHo and Lafayette Street store, Liquid Sky. The film mostly avoids the usual "it was so much better then" cliches, and still manages to capture everything from Wigstock to Deee-Lite to Chloe Sevigny to Frankie Knuckles and Moby -- plus there's more obscure characters like the two owners of the cuckoo Lower East Side store Pluto Dog. At times it's like watching a rough cut of the film Kids with real people, and a soundtrack of music that defined a decade.

Chef Shaun Hergatt Shares His Favorite Korean BBQ Spot

January 7, 2014, 10:30 am

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(Photo by Harel Rintzler/PatrickMcMullan.com)

Each week in our Chefs Off Duty series, we talk to some of our favorite chefs and industry folk around the country to find out their secret late-night spots where they like to grab a bite and a pint when their kitchens are finally closed. Next up: Shaun Hergatt, chef/owner of Juni.

Where's your favorite place to grab a bite when you're leaving your own restaurant?

Don's Bogam on 32nd St.

How did you discover this place?

It was introduced to me by a good Korean friend of mine. I've been going here for 5 years and it's a great places for Korean BBQ right in the heart of Korea Town. I see and meet tons of well-known chefs here and people you'd never guess. It's a very humble restaurant with a non-pretentious scene.

Don's Bogam

What's your favorite thing to get?

The marinated and spicy short rib.

Any other specialties of the house you'd recommend?

Their BBQ meats and all their kimchi and pickled vegetables.

Don's Bogam, 17 E. 32nd St., New York; Open Sun-Thurs, 11:30am - 11:45pm; Fri-Sat, 11:30am - 1am

More From Our Off Duty Series

Stephen Malkmus On The Jicks' New Album, Katy Perry and the NBA Finals

January 7, 2014, 11:00 am

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Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks. Photo by Leah Nash.


Stephen Malkmus, indie-rock's grand pooh-bah, has recently been fielding phone calls for a tech employee looking for work. "I just saw that you have a San Jose phone number," he tells PAPER. "I've been getting calls a lot for a guy looking for an entry-level job in Silicon Valley." Has Malkmus added tech recruiter to an already impressive CV? "Nah," he says. "I got a new phone and I inherited somebody's number, evidently. I get calls like, 'Is Dave there? We're ready to hire you for an unfair wage.'"

If only the tech geeks on the line knew they were talking to the guitar wizard and songwriting savant behind Pavement, they might be more interested in chatting about his cryptic lyrics and wicked licks than landing "Dave" a job. The occasion for our chat with Malkmus is the release of Wig Out at Jagbags, his new LP with the Jicks. It's his sixth post-Pavement album, and one of the strongest efforts of his solo career. On the eve of the LP's release, the main Jick is settling back into his Portland, Oregon, home; he spent the past couple of years living abroad in Berlin with his wife, artist Jessica Jackson Hutchins, and their two young daughters. PAPER caught up with Malkmus on the phone from Portland, and chatted about (amongst other topics) riding the bus in Berlin, his 2014 NBA predictions and Katy Perry.


So you're back in Portland after a couple years in Berlin?
Yeah, we're back in our house. We're way in Portland. Pure Portland.

In what ways did living in Berlin inform the songwriting on Wig Out at Jagbags?
It's hard to say. Wherever you are informs what you do. I had a lot of free time, which is cool, in a way. I didn't have a social life to start there. I spent a lot of time on public transportation, going back and forth, taking the kids to school, for better or worse. So my mind was pretty free, and that was influential, especially when you go somewhere, and you don't speak the language. It's very quiet there, very wide open. The sky's wide and you can see a long way. It's probably a good place to go to write a novel, I'd imagine. It's interesting to be in a big city and be totally anonymous. I spent more time contemplating that sort of thing than, say, going to techno clubs or going to Hansa Studios, where Bowie recorded, and hoping that rubbed off on me. That wasn't happening. [laughs]

Didn't U2 try to do that in the '90s?
Yeah, U2, R.E.M. People try. The guy from the Brian Jonestown Massacre, he has a studio there. I haven't been there. But a friend of mine had been and mentioned that he was doing stuff on the rock side of the street. That's a quiet and lonely street in Berlin: the rock side of the street.

But bands come through Berlin. I saw Kurt Vile play. I saw Thurston Moore. Those were rock things. But I'd say the pulse in Berlin is more on being a DJ and doing a dance night, or a drinking night with music in the background. Drinking and other things, I imagine.

So you didn't have a social life at first in Berlin. Did you develop one?
Well, there were some people from Domino, my label, who were there and took me out and showed me around. And we got to know other parents and expatriates -- I don't know if you can even call them expatriates in Berlin, because it's basically like Williamsburg. Our kids' school was an international school, we tended to band together with the other American parents. Someone would say, "Let's go for ice cream!" And we ended up hanging out with them more. I met a really diverse group of people that way -- not music people necessarily. That was cool. My wife is a visual artist and she did a better job socially than I did, so I hung out with her friends... a lot. There are a lot of cool artists there. There's this guy Tony Just, who's really awesome.

Seems like Berlin has a vibrant creative scene.
It's great for art. And for music. I had a friend named Keith Nealy, he runs this company that sells T-shirts overseas for American bands. I'd go out to a lot of gigs with him. He'd be like, "You wanna come see Cody Chestnutt?" And I'd be like, "Is that Vic Chestnutt's brother?" And he'd be like, "No, he's a soul guy, like the Roots." So... [sighs] yeah.

Wig Out's first single, "Lariat," celebrates late-'80s college rock. How much of that nostalgia is genuine, and how much is tongue-in-cheek?
The song has three verses. The first verse has poetic, cryptic, R.E.M., or even Pavement-ish lyrics, speaking in that secret language that we spoke, that we understood as, "Oh, that's poetry." That sort of mumbo-jumbo that we used to like.

The second verse recalls college, Lord Byron, we lived on meat and the arts. Which is sort of mythic, romantic posturing. You know, no one really lived on Tennyson and deer meat. [Editor's note: he's referencing a lyric from the song, "We lived on Tennyson and venison."] There was this music at the time, but now it's seen through rose-colored glasses.

Then the last verse is more of the reality of what it was like back then, which is you're just kind of fucked up, drinking beer, hanging out with your friends, and you don't know what the future is going to hold but you're just a young wastoid in college. And then as the last sort of pathetic anthem, the singer says, "We grew up listening to music from the best decade ever," which is like saying, "Well, I might not be doing anything with myself right now, but at least my generation's music was so great. We did have that."

It's not cynical, so that's real. But it's also crafted in a songwriter way, so it doesn't matter what my feelings are. That's how I'd explain the song.

"Lariat" lyric video directed by Scott Cudmore

When you were a young wastoid in college, what was the most memorable show you attended?
Probably the Butthole Surfers. I saw them numerous times, and they were at the peak of their powers. This is '85 to '87. There was a moment there when they were by far the most exciting band. They stuck out like a sore thumb, in a good way. There were other shows that I was super psyched to see. I remember seeing the Replacements tour for Let It Be, and being really excited about that. That was a good show.

One of your Jagbags songs, "Rumble at the Rainbo," talks, in a very funny way, about aging gracefully as a punk rocker. Is that a concern of yours?
The main image I have for that song, it could be a movie by Harmony Korine or Bad Grandpa, where you have all these old punks slam-dancing wearing black leather and studs. That would make a really funny video. The song sort of takes on the nostalgia and reunions in music. The tribal aspects of your scene and what you like. It's also like when you write in the back of a high school yearbook, "Don't change." Then you show up to the reunion hoping that holds true.

But yeah, the song's just being funny about punk rock reunions and change. Like, there was a time when a band like Social Distortion would come back, and they'd mix a little Willie Nelson with their punk.

At the end of the song, there's some literal stuff about me. In the late '70s there were some older punks around. I was into hardcore, and they were into Johnny Thunders and the Damned -- the junkie generation of bands. But we were into funny bands, like the Adolescents and Wasted Youth. We didn't like emo or straight-edge, we liked it funny. Junkie punk was not part of our scene. Then at the end of ["Rumble at the Rainbo"], there's a musical representation of how hardcore evolved. Some bands went ska, for instance, like the Rancids, some bands went metal. So there's a quick ska-metal coda, which is saying no one changed, but the music kinda tried to change. Punk went a little metal ... and a little reggae. [laughs]

Why did you gravitate toward the funny strain of punk?
When I was a teen, I liked funny bands. I'd consider KISS and Devo to be funny bands. Well, Devo, at least, had some slightly deeper things going on. Then I got into hardcore punk. As a teenager, I just liked it fast. The Dead Kennedys, they played fast and made social commentary, but they were funny. In the Bay Area, there wasn't much at stake when you're a teenager. You just wanna skateboard and listen to bands like the Angry Samoans. They were great for a juvenile. Loud, offensive, funny. Flipper... they were basically a comedy band, and I liked them a lot. Black Flag weren't funny, but I liked them a lot, too. Their album covers by Raymond Pettibon were funny in a dark way.

"Cinnamon and Lesbians" video, directed by Jay Winebrenner.

Your last few LPs have no screaming; I thought that being a dad may have softened you, but then I read that your daughters' favorite song of yours is "Unfair," which is arguably your screamiest song. Why do you think your kids get a kick out of hearing you throw a tantrum?
[laughs] She likes the lyrics, too, I guess. I liked the Beastie Boys, when they were just yammering and screaming through distorted microphones. It's just fun. It's kind of a monkey in a cage putting shit on the walls -- you relate to the scatological aspect of fucking shit up.

What music do you listen to with your kids?
We listen to a lot of pop radio. I just got in trouble, actually, with a teacher. I was a driver on a field trip for her class. I wasn't told not to listen to music by anyone, and then [Malkmus's daughter] Lottie and her two friends got in and they just wanted to listen to the pop radio station. And I guess they lorded it -- no pun intended -- over the other kids when they got back. And no one else got to listen to pop music.

Has your daughter turned you on to any new music?
She's only eight, but she likes Macklemore.  But I wouldn't say she turned me on to Macklemore. I like some Katy Perry songs. I think "Teenage Dream" is a good song. I'm not into "Eye of the Tiger" [Editor's note: He means "Roar"]. I should go old school and play Survivor for my kids.

You recently covered "Beginning to See the Light" by Velvet Underground at a Jicks show in Portland. Lou Reed seems to have been a huge influence on you; did you ever meet him or work with him?
I didn't, but friends of mine have. He has a rep for being not friendly. But as far as I'm concerned, Lou has better things to do than be friendly. If you're a genius, you don't have to be wasting your time on pleasantries with the man on the street. He's a great artist. He created new worlds and paradigms. He played on "Sister Ray." If I had played on "Sister Ray," I'd die happy.

Pavement songs have recently been creeping into Jicks encores. Did the 2010 reunion make you want to play those songs more often?
We did some shows in Brazil, and we broke out a Pavement song, because Pavement played there only once on our reunion tour, but never before. As it gets farther away from the source, I'm comfortable with pulling out a chestnut. It's like playing a cover song. Lou Reed did it. If he did it, why not? For fun, we've played "Harness Your Hopes." I assume that 89% of people at a Jicks show would know Pavement, and it's fun to give the people what they want, as the Kinks would say.

Let's wind this down with some lightning-round questions. Where's the best place in Portland to get a cocktail?
A bar called Tiga. Definitely Portland's coolest bar.

What's your favorite solo album by a Beatle?
Beaucoups of Blues by Ringo Starr.

What's your prediction for the 2014 NBA Finals?
I'd like it to be Indiana and the Warriors. It'll be the Dubs in seven.

Do you agree with Warriors coach Mark Jackson that he has the "greatest shooting backcourt" of all-time?
Well, you've got Klay Thompson and Steph Curry, if they're healthy. And you've got Iggy [Andre Iguodala]. Iggy's not the best shooter, and he's not really in the backcourt. I'm trying to think who has a better shooting backcourt off the top of my head. I love all three of those guys, and it's a great fit. I can see them making a run.

Growing up in Northern California, were you a Warriors fan?
I went to Golden State games, but they weren't good. I was more of a Lakers fan. But I saw the Warriors play the New Orleans Jazz. I remember that game specifically. I went to three games. It was an hour and a half from where I lived. But I like the current ownership, and I like the Oaklandness of it all. And I love Steph Curry. How could you not?

What's the last great book you've read?
The Hobbit doesn't count really, but it's great. But for adults, I'd say Hans Fallada's Alone in Berlin or The Drinker. Those are great books that anybody could appreciate, not just someone visiting Berlin.

And finally, "Jenny and the Ess-Dog" is now a 13-year-old song, meaning that today, Jenny is 31. What do you think Jenny is up to in 2014?
She'd be teaching yoga in Sausalito.

---

10 Observations On Last Night's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

January 7, 2014, 1:50 pm

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We've asked Eli Yudin and Carey O'Donnell, authors of the very, very funny Twitter account @NotTildaSwinton, to share their ten thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams with us after watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills every week. Join us for a recap, won't you?

1) Carey: We left off with garbage scarecrow Brandi imploding at Lisa's "Peace dinner" at Sur after Hoyseeee and her big-peened, Academy Award-winning German movie producer husband, Michael, all but eviscerated her with truth bombs. I guess their retorts weren't that special; it was mostly just Joyce telling Brandi she's a drunk slob (true) and trashy (true) and racist (debatable), while Michael occasionally interjected with "Do not swear in front of my wife", "I don't want to be on whatever planet you're on" in his unsettling German accent. I don't think Brandi is truly racist. I actually think she's too unintelligent to even be ignorant, if that makes ANY sense. Lemon Empress Yo-Yo and Lisa, of course, go to bat for their droopy-eyed homegirl and very politely argue with Joyce/Michael. I will say that for the first time in any Housewives franchise, Joyce is actually totally right. My fav moment was when Joyce instructed Yolanda to give Brandi 'some elegance." ELEGANCE! ELEGANCE, BRANDI! I guess the only area Brandi needs some major elegance injections in is her insults. The only thing she can vomit up are a bunch of "Go fuck yourself!!!!!"'s and "Shut the fuck up!!!!"'s. When she realized she couldn't win against Hoysee and Big Peen, Brandi rambled on about how depressed she is about her lost puppy Chica (BOOOOOOO), and how she doesn't have a husband, and then Yolanda escorts her away from the able into her chauffeured car and sends her back to her Chica-less home. Bye, Bye, Brandi.

2) Eli: Kyle and Joyce go for golfing lessons in full Back Nine Barbie style, pink clubs and everything.  Their "Professional Golfing Instructor," a position that apparently requires you to dress like a Nantucket Terminator, tries his best to explain the game, but finds it very difficult because on every other syllable, Kyle cuts in. "Chip? What's a chip? Golf? Grass?  Where am I? Does free will exist? If they had  an "Xtra Cheese" flavor for Goldfish, why didn't they just use that all along?!" Kyle also decides to wear those high-heeled sneakers they make now, which, I don't care if your full sports knowledge is from a YouTube video of curling highlights, you know you don't play sports in heels.  The whole charm of the high-heeled sneakers is their irony. They're not meant to be some sort of middle-ground for fashionista streetball players.

3) Carey: I want to dedicate an entire section to maybe of the best comment I've ever heard out of all the Real Housewives shows:  "If God can forgive humanity for what we did to his son, why can't I forgive Brandi for being a stupid little bitch?" Joyce just became my favorite person. I was trying to imagine Carrie Bradshaw say that as she types her once a week freelance column that manages to pay for her existence in Manhattan. "Later that night I got to thinking...if God can forgive humanity for what we did to his son, why can't I forgive Brandi for being a stupid little bitch?" *ashes cigarette *

4) Eli: As usual, even when they start to have fun golfing, they cannot resist bringing up the unpleasantness of the night before at SUR. This is the sort of place where you can take a note from most mens' crippling detachment from emotion. Two guys could be playing golf the morning after a hostage situation that resulted in the death of one's wife, and still, they'd just be making their way down the course in relative silence. "Nice shot, Charlie," Greg would say, taking another pull from the Rolling Rock nestled in his Bud Light beer coozie.  In the distance, the faint plop of a ball on a green, almost inaudible.  "Yup." replies Charlie.  They then silently clamber onto the golf cart.

5) Carey: There's nothing better than the show's editors blessing us with a shot of Kim Richards peering through window blinds.  Last season, when she got her daughter Kimberly ready for prom, and slaved over a large vat of chicken salad that no one ate, Kim peered out through the window blinds as her daughter and her 7 ft, tall date disappeared into the horizon. "Wind's reaaaal bad tonight," Kim says to herself, looking out through the slit of a window blind, a pot of soup hanging in the fireplace. Kim looked out through her blinds again last night, as Kingsley's dog trainer pulled up to her house. "He's back," she muttered to herself in her hoarse whisper. Kingsley appeared to have some improvements from his intensive dog rehab stint, but still has that same, shaky, unstable look to him. He was wearing a muzzle too, which made him look even more insane. I wonder how long it took for Kim to hold the muzzle up, and say, "Well..." and then try it on.

6) Eli: "We're going to clean the dollhouse," says Carlton to Elizy, slinging a jug of bleach over her shoulder.  If that's not code for dissolving the bodies of the dead in her basement, I don't know what is. Yes, Carlton, you have to "clean the dollhouse." And Patrick Bateman has to return some videotapes.  When we see the actual dollhouse, it's not as much a dollhouse as it is a strange sort of small plastic castle. Good job by the editors for framing out the bones strewn about the floor and the fingernail marks on the wall. Meanwhile, Carlton lets out barrages of maniacal laughter, spraying a hose around her lawn, which, to be honest, I'm surprised is grass and not just a smooth expanse of black latex.

7) Carey: Cartlon got a tattoo of a pentagram on the back of her neck with the words "Blessed be", and then the names of her three children, Destini, Mysteri, and Cross, circling the symbol. Her creepy-handsome hub, David, comes in after she gets it and is like "Yeaaaaaaaaaah that's hawwwwwt" in his Long Island accent. Destini, Mysteri, Cross: I feel for you babes! Sorry about that!

8) Eli: In line with Carlton's whole Spencer's Gifts Badass vibe, she starts talking about how "Most people disapprove of tattoos, but those people can kiss my ass." (paraphrased)  Um, Carlton, I hate to take the jelly out of your pentagram-shaped donut, but nobody really cares about tattoos anymore. 40% of people ages 27-40 have a tattoo, which is almost in coin-flip territory. In 25 years, we'll probably have a Supreme Court justice with Speedy Gonzales tattooed on his or her asscheek. I doubt you'll get judged that unfavorably.
 
9) Eli: I take it all back. Carlton's giant pentagram tattoo on the back of the neck is still definitely in "pariah of the public pool" territory. I admit it, Carl-Carl. I would judge you if I saw that tattoo.  It looks like the graphic from a limited edition Monster energy drink
 
10) The greatest thing to ever happen on Real Housewives happened last night. Well, not the greatest, but almost the greatest. JAMIE. LEE. CURTIS. Jamie Lee Curtis. Jamie Lee Curtis was on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I can't believe I just typed those words out. Kyle's fashion show at Kyle by Alene Too is a charity event for the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles. By the way, I still can't wrap my head around "by Alene Too", it's basically like a ghostwritten celebrity memoir or cookbook. Anyway, Jamie Lee Curtis (who now only goes by Jamie Curtis) is one of the heads of this committee of rich celebrities who give lots of money to the hospital. That's nice. Kyle and Mauricio get inducted into this Illuminati-sounding board because they gave $100,000 to the hospital. "Along with my friends Melanie Griffith and Antonio," Jamie mentions. Jamie and Kyle reminisce about their time together filming the ETERNAL classic Halloween. It was kind of cute seeing Kyle talk to Jamie like an excited little sister. I just wish Christopher Guest had been there, too.

Jon Stewart Hands Bill O'Reilly His Ass Over Anti-Weed Legalization And It's So Good

January 8, 2014, 6:35 am

≫ Next: The Black Lips On Touring In the Middle East, Jordanian Sports Bars and Cairo Skaters

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The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

The Daily Show did an amazing take down last night of anti-weed legalization news pundits, featuring a Bill O' Reilly segment that was more bizarre and hilarious than usual. According to O'Reilly, legalized marijuanais "literally" the equivalent of playing Russian roulette and has something to do with American teens being addicted to texting? Or something? It just gets better from there. [Uproxx]



What what! Parks and Recreation is FI-NALLY back this Thursday for its 100th episode! (Please don't let Amy Poehler's hints that the show could end this year be true!)  Here's a preview clip starring Jean Ralphio and his dad wearing matching jammies. [Cinemablend]
  Want. Need. Must own. Oh my god. [Mlkshk]

Oh lord, these are perfect. [Laughterkey]

 
Intense. [Jezebel]

Sometimes dog kisses backfire. [DailyPicsandFlicks]
 

Let this super dramatic baby belting "Wrecking Ball" get you through your Wednesday. [Hypervocal]

The Black Lips On Touring In the Middle East, Jordanian Sports Bars and Cairo Skaters

January 8, 2014, 8:00 am

≫ Next: Here's a Clip of Kanye Rapping and Wearing a Muscle Tee Back In 1998

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 Jared rides a camel at the Giza Plateau.

In the fall of 2012, Black Lips, a punk band from Atlanta, Georgia, went on tour in the Middle East. Documenting their trip in Kids Like You & Me, A Middle East Tour Film, they played shows across Jordan, Lebanon, Iraq, Cyprus, United Arab Emirates and Egypt, where the last known American rock band to play was the Grateful Dead in 1978. With the film now available on iTunes, bassist Jared Swilley recounts their groundbreaking trip.

Our families and friends were so skeptical, telling us how insane it was for us to do this tour, but really, it wasn't insane. Sure, we weren't there during any mass upheaval, and it would probably be a different experience for women, but for us it wasn't that much different than any other tour we've done. I think it is one of the most misunderstood regions of the world. All you ever hear about is explosions, violence and religious intolerance, but you think, "There's got be something else," and we wanted to see for ourselves.

Black Lips Graffiti in Cairo

Cole Alexander (front) and Jared Swilley playing in Alexandria

Bill Cody, the director, got in touch with us after reading in interviews that we wanted to play Iraq. He helped us set it all up, connected us with Lazzy Lung, the Lebanese band that did part of the tour with us, and filmed the whole thing. All the shows were arranged DIY, except for Iraq where we had to go through the Ministry of Culture.

It's pretty similar to Southern culture where hospitality is huge. I was surprised how nonreligious it was. I tried to have a clean slate going in, but it's hard because you naturally have perceived notions whether you want to or not. Being from the South, I can understand it. There are stereotypes of us as these gun-toting, hotheaded freaks that can't read. But it's not like that.

(L-R) Anthony Sahyoun and Allan Chaaraoui of Lazzy Lung with Ian Saint Pé and Jared Swilley at the Giza Plateau

We traveled mostly by planes and small taxis, but in Egypt we had a large van. The most difficult part was just getting to places. Cairo is a really hip city with lots of young people, but it's one of those megalopolises with traffic that makes getting anywhere a pain in the ass. Cole and I went skating with a bunch of teens that came to a show. They reminded me of myself when I was 15, when all you want to do is skate and rock out. I don't understand why tons of bands don't go to Egypt. There is a great crowd there.

Cyprus was just like being in a lazy beach town in Europe. Dubai was probably my least favorite place to play because it's basically a giant sandy shopping mall. It was our biggest show though. We played in a hotel, and it was kind of weird because they considered us hotel employees. We weren't allowed to speak to anyone unless spoken to, and we had one designated table that we were told to sit at. We felt a little bit like indentured servants.

Beirut is amazing. There is such a cool cross section of cultures, and everyone is out clubbing and having fun. Christians, Muslims, French, Americans -- and they all feed off each other in a good way. I think we got the best food in Beirut, because we were with the Lebanese guys. Dinners last three to four hours. Between every course you'll have a cigarette, some more wine, and it just lasts forever. They really milk it.

(L-R) Jared Swilley, Marc Bassila from Lazzy Lung and PM Nadim Jamal talk with the police in Tahrir Square

Jordan was cool, but Amman is kind of boring. We hung out at this sports bar everyday and ate a lot of hamburgers. They had ATV posters all over the walls and a brothel in the basement. There were a lot of brothels over there. In Dubai, Jordan and Beirut, Eastern European girls would come up to you at a bar and ask you to buy them drinks. I always said no but was told they were prostitutes. At our show in Jordan there was a sign that said no unaccompanied females were allowed. Not sure what that was about because there were a ton of girls at the show wearing heels and short skirts having fun.

Iraq was awesome. Our show ended up being in a community center there with a lot of families and babies in the crowd. Our original show was cancelled because they saw one of our videos on YouTube with nudity in it. We went anyway, and were going to play on the street if we had to, but a girl contacted us on Facebook and set up the community center. We didn't have any backline or gear with us, so we basically just plugged straight into a PA, and I think our drummer had to use, like, his suitcases for drums.

(L-R) Ian Saint Pé, Jared Swilley, Joe Bradley and cole Alexander on the Nile

Black Lips performing in Cairo

One of my favorite moments was in Alexandria, Egypt. I was walking on my own, and an elderly couple sitting by the beach started yelling at me. I wasn't sure if it was mean or nice yelling at first, but they asked me to come sit down. The wife bought me a cup of tea, they gave me a bunch of cigarettes -- everyone smokes there -- and we just chainsmoked and drank tea. The conversation was basically, "Oh we really love Americans, sorry for all the bullshit," and I said the same sentiment back. Moments like that were really nice. Even one of our camera guys was from Baghdad and actually fought against the Americans during Desert Storm. He didn't want to, but it's just what he did. 

We get a reputation of being debaucherous and wild, but it was a wholesome and heartwarming tour, which sounds really sappy -- but it just was. Most of the people that came to shows were telling us how great it was that we were there because they hadn't ever been to a rock 'n' roll concert before. Hopefully it will inspire some of the kids to start bands, or get other bands to go over there. Our European tour manager who is Czech always told us that blue jeans, rock 'n' roll and Bon Jovi brought down the Iron Curtain, and it's true. Rock 'n' roll is fun, and when you're having fun, you don't want to shoot people.

Here's a Clip of Kanye Rapping and Wearing a Muscle Tee Back In 1998

January 8, 2014, 9:00 am

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Before Kanye was perma-clad in Givenchy leather sweat pants and renting out baseball diamonds to propose to reality stars, he was just some 21-year-old wearing a Champion-brand muscle tee and a backwards cap like the rest of us. In this new trailer for "Caviar Dreams," the forthcoming mixtape by Atlanta-via-Chicago rapper -- and frequent 2 Chainz collaborator -- Cap 1, we see a baby-faced 'Ye rapping in front of an intense gold lamé curtain back in 1998. Though we'd challenge anyone to watch this clip and tell us that it foreshadowed Kanye's rap domination, his '90s-era rhymes aren't so bad. You can catch him around the 0:34 mark.

[via Complex]

From Cradle to Grave, Party Supplies' NSFW "Working Out" Video Is Cuckoo Crazy

January 8, 2014, 9:50 am

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Would love to be in on the creative, brain-storming meetings over at Fools Gold records. Obviously there's nobody there with any censorship or veto powers, so the result can be NSFW, offensive, ridiculous, over-the-top and...well, let's say unbelievably hilarious. In this clip -- directed by Sebastian Bear-McClan (oh, really?), for Justin Nealis (aka Party Supplies) track called "Working Out" featuring Fat Jew, aka Fabrizio Goldstein -- we get to watch a short re-cap of a life lived to the fullest. Without giving anything away, you'll see that nothing has been left out, except (mercifully) they decided to pixelate the dude's peen.