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Brian Bowen Smith on Projects and the Art of Celebrity Photography

Photographer Brian Bowen Smith was discovered by celebrity photographer Herb Ritts as a professional inline skater in the '90s. He became Ritts' assistant, studied under him for four years, and the rest is fashion history. Smith's new book, Projects, which he signed copies of last night at Bookmarc, combines his striking black and white photography of nudes, celebrities and models into one coffee table tome (with the eternally major Cindy Crawford on its cover). "It's hard for me because I have severe ADD," Smith says. "I'll start one project, then I'll start another one and then another one. I was like, 'fuck it, I'll just put them all in one book.'" Known for his quick photo shoots ("If you don't get your photo in the first 10-15 frames, you're probably not going to get it."), Smith's mastered the art of getting celebrities to let their guards down, allowing him to get his striking shots of everyone from Selma Blair, Demi Moore and Brooke Shields to Ben Affleck and Josh Brolin for magazines including Vanity Fair, W and Esquire. "With celebrities, if a shoot goes bad, it's because you've asked them to do something they don't want to do and they feel uncomfortable. There's nothing worse. If a celebrity doesn't want to do something doing a shoot, you just don't do it." Above and below, shots of Smith at last night's signing as well as images from Projects, all courtesy of Bookmarc.

ad2d7ef8-0585-4054-8c85-4162ee20d4b3.jpgBrian Bowen Smith

1e813ce8-9a7d-441f-acd0-a251dd282021.jpgJessica Stam

Demi Moore

0c5a8853-d00a-4879-9014-b36024180d1d.jpgSelma Blair

1a83988b-82f0-4c13-8acd-4f013516dc13.jpgHilary Swank

Director Douglas Tirola Dishes About His Boozy New Film, "Hey Bartender"


Today, the allure of mixology becomes magnified on the big screen: Hey Bartender, the documentary that made waves at SXSW by chronicling a duo of aspiring drink-slingers -- packed with plenty of cameos from bar luminaries in between -- opens at Village East Cinema. Director Douglas Tirola of 4th Row Films lets us in on the film's boozy origins, his own drinking rituals and why working behind the stick is no longer a halfhearted side gig, but a coveted career.

So, SXSW was a coup. How did that happen?
We hadn't even set our sights on SXSW. We contacted  [SXSW film festival producer] Janet Pierson and said, "Any chance you'd take a look?" She was still watching stuff and asked us to send the link. Two days later, a Saturday night, we were in Connecticut at a bar, working on a shoot, and I felt my phone buzz. It was an email saying they wanted the movie. It was the right spot to celebrate until 5 a.m.

How did you meet the bartenders you profile in the film?
I ended up going to Library Bar, at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood, and got to know then-bartender Matt Biancaniello. At the same time, in New York, I was introduced to Employees Only, two blocks away from me. I started going for late-night meals after work where I met Steve Schneider. Then I was turned on to PDT, then I met Julie Reiner from Clover Club. It's been a soul-searching experience.

Sounds like it was an organic process. What did you hope to convey about the bartending world in the film?
This is what it is about: How did a job that most equate with the movie Cocktail go from that to making cocktails to the level of art? There is so much knowledge of ingredients and history. These are people who clearly had other choices for careers, but they picked this. They wanted to do something with their hands and create. They own their own places and have an entrepreneurial streak. Opening a bar is a universal dream. How did this come to pass? It's almost like those punk and New Wave music movies, or Beat writers, expats and the Algonquin Roundtable: people brought together by inspiration. I saw that happening with bartenders, and that's when you know it's a story that needs to be told.

What do you like best about the film?
A good movie has to have good characters. Steve, the retired Marine at Employees Only, going from barback to principal bartender? That's An Officer and a Gentleman and Jerry Maguire territory. Even if you're not a person who loves going out, you'll love the story.

What have you learned over the course of making this movie?
Let's not forget this industry is about a bar's regulars. The attention a bartender pays to guests is hospitality. When I walk into a bar, I now look to see how deeply committed it is. What brands do they have? What tools? For fun, I ask the bartender for a suggestion. When they ask me my taste preferences and serve me the one drink I shouldn't miss, that's hospitality.

You've paid visits to bars that are hotspots across the country, but is there anywhere off the radar that's wowed you with that double punch of great cocktails and service?
Whenever I travel for vacation or to shoot, I'm always researching for the best cocktail bar. Last year, in Belfast, Maine, I did a Q&A in a theater, and there was a place with craft cocktails. Unbelievable. It made an impression on me that amid people who make their living on lobster boats something like this existed.
What do you typically find yourself drinking?
My appreciation at one point was Amaretto and orange juice and a Kamikaze. Now I love tequila. The last couple of years, straight Milagro has been my go-to. I was at PDT recently and Jim [Meehan] showed me a new tequila drink based on what I've had to drink there before. That's how it should be. That moment is what the movie is trying to say.

Governor's Ball, Bonnaroo + Other Music Festival Lineups Analyzed

musicfest.jpg(Photo by Eva Rinaldi)

With the Governor's Ball taking place this weekend, right on the heels of Summer Jam last week, the summer music season is upon us. We at Papermag started wondering which acts were most prevalent at this summer's music festivals. We tallied up the nearly 1600 artists playing 38 music festivals this summer, sticking to festivals in the US and leaving out those with fewer than fifteen acts (4Knots Fest, Sandy Parts Fest), as well as touring festivals (Hard Fest, Fools Gold Block Party, Warped Tour), and festivals that lasted longer than a weekend (Milwaukee Summerfest). Here are the busiest acts:

11 Festival Appearances
Baauer, Robert Delong

10 Festival Appearances
Dillon Francis, Matt and Kim

9 Festival Appearances
Kendrick Lamar, Passion Pit

8 Festival Appearances
A-Trak, Holy Ghost! (includes DJ set), Twenty One Pilots

7 Festival Appearances
Boys Noize (includes performances in supergroup Dog Blood), Clockwork,Delta Rae, Killer Mike (includes performances in supergroup Run the Jewels), the Lumineers, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, the Mowgli's, Toro y Moi

Baauer at Coachella; photo by ANDR3W A on Flickr

Most Common Line-Ups
By averaging the number of festivals played by each performer at a given festival, we calculated a "uniqueness quotient." The lower the number, the more unique the line-up. The quotient includes comedians but generally excludes theater troupes, light shows, and other such non-musical entertainment. Below, we've ranked the festivals by descending uniqueness quotient. Italics denote festivals that have already taken place.

1.    Kanrocksas (6/28-9, Kansas Speedway, Kansas): 3.91
2.    Firefly (6/21-3, Dover, Delaware): 3.90
3.    Hangout (5/17-9, Gulf Shores, Alabama): 3.70
4.    Boston Calling (5/25-6, Boston, Massachusetts): 3.63
5.    Governors Ball (6/7-9, New York, New York):3.64
6.    Loufest (9/7-8, St. Louis, Missouri): 3.55
7.    Electric Zoo (8/30-9/1, New York, New York): 3.39
8.    Made in America (8/31-9/1, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania): 3.36
9.    Forecastle (7/12-4, Louisville, Kentucky): 3.25
10.    Outside Lands (8/9-11, San Francisco, California): 3.20
11.    Lollapalooza (8/2-4, Chicago, Illinois): 3.19
12.    Sunset (5/25, Tampa, Florida): 3.14
13.    Camp Bisco (7/11-3, Albany): 3.08
14.    Bonnaroo (6/13-6): 2.84
15.    Live 105's BFD (5/19, Mountainview, CA): 2.76
16.    Global Dance (7/19-21, Red Rocks, CO): 2.69
17.    Newport Folk (7/26-8): 2.69
18.    Sasquatch (5/24-7): 2.69
19.    Electric Forest Festival (6/27-30, Rothbury, MI): 2.61
20.    Roots Picnic (6/1, Philadelphia): 2.59
21.    Orion Music and More (6/8-9, Detroit): 2.51
22.    FYF Fest (8/24-5): 2.36
23.    My Life Every Day USA (5/25-6, San Diego, California): 2.24
24.    Electric Daisy Carnival(6/21-3, Las Vegas): 2.20
25.    Free Press (6/1-2, Houston): 2.20
26.    Great Googa Mooga (5/17-9): 2.19
27.    Pitchfork (7/19-21): 2.19
28.    Hot 97's Summer Jam (6/2, East Rutherford, NJ): 2.16
29.    Mountain Jam (6/6-9, Hunter Mountain, NY):2.16
30.    Summer Set (8/24-6, Somerset, WI):2.10
31.    Bumbershoot (8/31-9/2, Seattle):2.10
32.    Wakarusa (5/30-6/2, Ozark, AR): 2.07
33.    Bunbury (7/12-4, Cincinatti): 1.96
34.    Launch (9/7-8, Sacramento): 1.86
35.    Capitol Hill Block Party (7/26-8, Seattle): 1.74
36.    Gathering of the Vibes (7/25-8, Bridgeport): 1.71
37.    Nelsonville Music Festival (5/30-6/2): 1.69
38.    Solid Sound (6/21-3, North Adams, MA): 1.67
39.    Make Music Pasadena (6/1): 1.31

mattkim.jpgMatt and Kim; photo by Tony Shek on Flickr

Female Performer Quotient
In response to recent discussion about gender parity in festival line-ups, we also looked at the line-ups in terms of female representation. Being as generous as possible, we counted every act that included a female performer, putting back-up singers on the same level as bandleaders. 22.30% of the bands surveyed had a female member; here's how the individual festivals stacked up. It might not surprise you that the folk-oriented Nelsonville and Newport ranked toward the top, while the more EDM-oriented festivals ranked toward the bottom.

1.    Make Music Pasadena: 69.44%
2.    Nelsonville Music Festival: 48.98%
3.    Great GoogaMooga: 46.15%
4.    Newport Folk Festival: 42.22%
5.    Boston Calling: 42.11%
6.    Bumbershoot: 39.00%
7.    Capitol Hill Block Party: 36.96%
8.    Pitchfork: 36.17%
9.    Firefly: 35.71%
10.    Loufest: 34.48%
11.    Launch: 31.82%
12.    Governor's Ball: 30.30%
13.    Forecastle: 29.82
14.    Bonnaroo: 29.59%
15.    Mountain Jam: 29.55%
16.    Outside Lands: 28.79%
17.    Hangout: 27.54%
18.    Free Press: 26.51%
19.    Bunbury: 26.25%
20.    Lollapalooza: 25.40%
21.    Kanrocksas: 24.62%
22.    Live 105's BFD: 24.32%
23.    Roots Picnic: 23.53%
24.    FYF Fest: 23.21%
25.    Solid Sound: 22.22%
26.    Made in America: 19.44%
27.    Wakarusa Fest: 16.13%
28.    Orion: 15.38%
29.    Sasquatch: 14.96%
30.    Electric Forest: 14.85%
31.    Gathering of the Vibes: 13.16%
32.    Global Dance: 11.54%
33.    Sunset Fest: 9.09%
34.    Summer Set: 6.90%
35.    Electric Daisy Carnival: 4.97%
36.    My Life Every Day USA: 4.73%
37.    Camp Bisco: 2.60%
38.    Electric Zoo: 1.85%
39.    Summer Jam: 0.00%*
(*Note: Nicki Minaj, though not on the bill, made a guest appearance)

lanceherbstrong.jpgLance Herbstrong photo by Amy Mueller on Flickr

Worst Band Names
Finally, below are the 70 worst band names of the nearly 1600 bands surveyed:

All Shall Perish

American Authors

Anya & the Get Down (less resilient than Thao)

Art Department


Bass Kleph

Bingo Players (a band of retirees?)

Brite Lite Brite

Bro Safari

Buddha's Groove Shoes

Captain Comfy

Chancellor Warhol


Down North

The Dunwells


Family of the Year

Freedom Fry

Fukkk Offf


Future Rock



DJ Girl 6


He's My Brother, She's My Sister

Hey Marseilles


DJ Hype

Infectious Grooves

Jesse Jamz



LA Riots

Lance Herbstrong

Le Castle Vania

A Lion Named Roar

Machines Are People Too

Manufactured Superstars


Monogamy Party

Mord Fustang

The Mowgli's (that fucking apostrophe!)

Nahko and Medicine for the People


The Orwells


Peanut Butter Lovesicle

Planet Hemp

The Polish Ambassador


The Record Company

Rin Tin Tiger


Shreddie Mercury

Sons of Fathers

Spaceneedles (guess where they're from)

Staying for the Weekend

Swanky Tunes


Tribal Seeds (yes, they have dreadlocks)



Ubu Roi (dudes, there's already a band named after that play)

Vokab Kompany

We Are Snapdragon

Wick-It the Instigator


Yo Mama's Big Fat Booty Band

You, You're Awesome

The Black Eyed Peas'"I Gotta Feeling:" Your Song of the Summer Past (and Present)


Will it be Daft Punk? Robin Thicke? French Montana?  While you try to predict the Song of the Summer of 2013, we'll take the easy way out with today's (not so) oldie-but-goodie: "I Got a Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas.  It was released right about now back in 2009 and not only was it THE big song that summer -- 14 weeks at #1 -- don't be surprised if you still hear it this year.  The track was produced by David Guetta for the band's 5th album and when it came out, they had both the #1 and #2 single. This summer's tune?  What about "Let Her Go" by Passenger?

Tony Award Predictions: Mr. Mickey and Whitney Pick the Winners


As the reigning Broadway queens here at Paper Publishing HQ, we took it upon ourselves to weigh in on this year's Tony Award nominees. The actual winners will be announced this Sunday on the annual telecast hosted for the umpteenth time by Neil Patrick Harris. We can't wait to see what rap this triple-threat spits out this year, but we do have one observation about this year's nominees that he should consider for his monologue: There were almost as many snubbed starlets as there were boys in underpants. Just something to think about NPH...

Best Play nominees:

The Assembled Parties by Richard Greenburg  

Lucky Guy by Nora Ephron

The Testament of Mary by Colm Tóibín 

Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike by Christopher Durang

Our pick:Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike. Christopher Durang wrote an amazing script, we LOL'd non-stop. And Billy Magnussen ran around in his underpants. It was an easy sell.

Snub: I'll Eat You Last: A Chat With Sue Mengers. This one-woman show starring Bette Midler is special event theater that has sold millions of tickets. And remember The Performers? That hilarious show featuring Cheyenne Jackson in a leather jockstrap was taken from us too soon. We can go off-Broadway to see experimental, avant-garde plays that challenge religious paradigms.

Best Musical nominees:

Bring It On: The Musical

A Christmas Story, The Musical

Kinky Boots

Matilda The Musical

Our pick: It's a bad sign when we've only cared to see half of the musicals in this category and three of them need "The Musical" in their title. That said, Matilda is London musical theater at its best.

Snub: Motown: The Musical. Anything that gets Diana Ross and Mary Wilson on the same stage, even if it's just for an opening night curtain call, deserves a nomination.   

Best Book of a Musical:

A Christmas Story, The Musical by Joseph Robinette

Kinky Boots by Harvey Fierstein

Matilda The Musical by Dennis Kelly

Rodgers + Hammerstein's Cinderella by Douglas Carter Beane

Our pick: Kinky Boots, if only to hear Harvey Fierstein croak his acceptance speech.

Snub: Not a banner year for book writing.  

Best Original Score (Music and/or Lyrics) Written for the Theatre:

A Christmas Story, The Musical, Music and Lyrics: Benj Pasek and Justin Paul

Hands on a Hardbody, Music: Trey Anastasio and Amanda Green  Lyrics: Amanda Green

Kinky Boots, Music & Lyrics: Cyndi Lauper

Matilda The Musical, Music & Lyrics: Tim Minchin

Our pick: Cyndi Lauper. This '80s icon would be the first woman to ever win this category. And we're sure she'll give some cuckoo-bananas, Queens goil speech to go with her cuckoo-bananas outfit.

Snub: It was a stretch to get four. We're just happy Bring It On The Musical got edged out. 

Best Revival of a Play:

Golden Boy


The Trip to Bountiful

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Our pick: The Trip to Bountiful. Cicely Tyson singing hymns in the second act was the deciding factor for us.

Snub: The Heiress and Cat on a Hot Tin Roof are both noticeably missing here. They seem to be casualties of the celebrity backlash this season.  

Best Revival of a Musical:


The Mystery of Edwin Drood


Rodgers + Hammerstein's Cinderella

Our pick: Pippin. A fabulous show made even better by muscle boys doing circus acts.  "Ohhhh, it's time to start givin... Tony's to Pippin!"

Snub: We're satisfied as long as Pippin wins. 

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in a Play:

Tom Hanks, Lucky Guy

Nathan Lane, The Nance

Tracy Letts, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

David Hyde Pierce, Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike

Tom Sturridge, Orphans

Our pick: Tracy Letts was the best thing about one of our favorite plays, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, but Tom Hanks was pretty good in Lucky Guy and if he wins that would give him a chance to give a proper tribute to Nora Ephron. Have the Kleenex handy. 

Snub: Was Paul Rudd eligible for this award for his role in Grace? He was thrown up on for the sake of theater! Now he'll probably never be back. And what kind of world are we living in where Ben Walker spends half a play in a towel and can't get nominated? Not one we want to know.   

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role in a Play:

Laurie Metcalf, The Other Place

Amy Morton, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Kristine Nielsen, Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike

Holland Taylor, Ann

Cicely Tyson, The Trip to Bountiful

Our pick: Cicely Tyson is the favorite, but our die-hard theater queen hearts are pulling for Kristine Nielsen. She's like the Jan Maxwell of this year. If you get that joke than call us.

Snub: Bette Midler, duh. We would have made room for the Divine Miss M.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role in a Musical:

Stephanie J. Block, The Mystery of Edwin Drood

Carolee Carmello, Scandalous

Valisia LeKae, Motown The Musical

Patina Miller, Pippin

Laura Osnes, Rodgers + Hammerstein's Cinderella

Our pick: Patina Miller. The best thing to happen to Broadway since Jan Maxwell. See previous pick.

Snub: If Scandalous, Kathie Lee Gifford's huge flop of a show is represented here, that means absolutely no one got overlooked.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in a Musical:

Bertie Carvel, Matilda The Musical

Santino Fontana, Rodgers + Hammerstein's Cinderella

Rob McClure, Chaplin

Billy Porter, Kinky Boots

Stark Sands, Kinky Boots

Our pick: Everyone's saying Bertie Carvel is a shoe-in but Billy Porter was great too. Either way it'll go to a guy in drag, so we're happy.

Snub: Matthew James Thomas is very game as Pippin and Chaplin closed in a month.   

Best Performance by an Actor in a Featured Role in a Play

Danny Burstein, Golden Boy

Richard Kind, The Big Knife

Billy Magnussen, Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike

Tony Shalhoub, Golden Boy

Courtney B. Vance, Lucky Guy

Our pick: Billy Magnussen. He went really method for this role, which required him to spend a significant amount of time in his underpants. We applaud his dedication.

Snub: We're getting tired of thinking of people who probably aren't going to attend.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Featured Role in a Play:

Carrie Coon, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Shalita Grant, Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike

Judith Ivey, The Heiress

Judith Light, The Assembled Parties

Condola Rashad, The Trip to Bountiful

Our pick: Judith Light keeps knocking 'em dead on Broadway.

Snub: Can we say Bette Midler again?

Best Performance by an Actor in a Featured Role in a Musical:

Charl Brown, Motown The Musical

Keith Carradine, Hands on a Hardbody

Will Chase, The Mystery of Edwin Drood

Gabriel Ebert, Matilda The Musical

Terrence Mann, Pippin

Our pick: Though we love us a Terrence Mann moment, Charl Brown was very good as Smokey Robinson and we need to throw Motown a bone.

Snub: All the actors in Motown did great impersonations of our favorite Motown stars.  

Best Performance by an Actress in a Featured Role in a Musical:

Annaleigh Ashford, Kinky Boots

Victoria Clark, Rodgers + Hammerstein's Cinderella

Andrea Martin, Pippin

Keala Settle, Hands on a Hardbody

Lauren Ward, Matilda The Musical

Our pick: Annaleigh Ashford was so fun in Kinky Boots. But we'd be happy with Andrea Martin too.

Snub: Patti Lupone. Oh wait, we just wish The Anarchist had been a musical.

Cate Blanchett Breaks Down, Louis C.K. Is There: Woody Allen's New Movie


There are so many things to gawk at/look forward to in Woody Allen's upcoming film Blue Jasmine, which revolves around Cate Blanchett's character going from New York socialite to a down-on-her-luck fuck up living with her sister in San Francisco. Among the many layers of strange things you've always wanted to see but never thought you would: Cate Blanchett as a down and out alcoholic; Bobby Cannavale rocking a seriously weird hair concept; Louis C.K. and Andrew Dice Clay being in a Woody Allen movie at all; and Alec Baldwin being a jerk -- oh wait, we've already seen that one. Either way, this shit looks good.

Celebrities! How Similar To Us They Are

Welcome to our new series "Celebrities! How Similar to Us They Are," a surrealist send-up of celebrity weekly's' "Stars Are Just Like Us!" features. Each installment is written by Eli Yudin and Carey O'Donnell (of the very hilarious twitter account @NotTildaSwinton and our Real Housewives of New Jersey recaps) and illustrations are by Isabel Alcantara. Join us below as we puzzle over what's in Vince Vaughn's mailbox.

gwynethtaste.jpgGwyneth Paltrow lets her children JUDGE THE TASTE of raw meats at her local butcher!

blakelivelycelebs.jpgBlake Lively POKES a bees' nest with a stick, while catching up with Chloe Morëtz on the phone!

vincevaughcelebs.jpgVince Vaughn POSTS UP near a mailbox. "What do you think's in there!?" he asks passersby.

Screen shot 2013-06-07 at 4.48.56 PM.pngTaylor Swift HIDES INSIDE the sidewalk cracks outside Umami Burger, thanking her fans.

georgeclooneycelebs.jpgGeorge Clooney SLAPS A WET MOP against the floor at Chipotle. "That sound gives ya chills, don't it?" he chuckles to himself.

willsmith.jpgWill Smith CAUGHT! checking into the W Hotel under the name "Hark Wheatley," carrying 14 bottles of hot mustard.

Governors Ball x Disgraced Governors



Photo of Eliot Spitzer from HarvardEthics on Flickr

Hesta Prynn A.jpeg

In this weekly column, MC/DJ Hesta Prynn pairs pop culture stories with an original playlist.

This weekend is the Governors Ball, a music festival with an awesome lineup on Governor's Randall's Island here in NYC. From pro-wrestler Jesse "The Body" Ventura to the Governator himself, the gubernatorial position seems to attract candidates sordid, wacky and drunk with power. This week's Five 'n' Five matches some of the country's most recently disgraced governors with music from artists playing the Governor's Ball.

Mark Sanford (R - SC): Kings of Leon, "Sex on Fire"

Disappeared while on a supposed hiking trip with his family in 2009. Reappeared in Argentina, conducting a state-funded love affair. Current status: out of politics, engaged to his former mistress and living a "Buddhist Christian" lifestyle.

Rod Blagojevich (D - IL): Guns 'n' Roses, "Welcome to the Jungle"

Served a 14-month prison term for accepting bribes in exchange for political appointments. Current status: performs improv comedy, appears on reality TV shows including Celebrity Apprentice.

Eliot Spitzer (D - NY): Kanye West, "Gold Digger"

Caught pants-down with a 22-year-old escort-slash-aspiring pop singer. "Kristen" went on to pose for Playboy and rack up 12 million hits on MySpace. Current status: resigned from his talk show on Current TV after the network's purchase by Al Jazeera earlier this year.

David Paterson (D - NY): Azealia Banks, "212"

Spitzer's successor was accused of witness tampering in a federal abuse case involving an NYPD officer, and fined $62k for soliciting Yankees World Series tickets from said officer. Current status: occasionally appears on SNL.

Sarah Palin (R - AK): Nas, "Life's a Bitch"

This never gets old:

The Best, Worst and Weirdest of the Week

Screen shot 2013-06-07 at 12.22.04 PM.pngFashion Trend We Didn't See Coming But Are Now Mildly Intrigued By: Home Depot threads and accessories. -- Abby Schreiber

feministplayboy.jpgBest Coverline: "The Feminist Lobby: What Else Do Women Want," as seen on the March 1985 issue of Playboy at a Jersey City vintage store. -- Jonah Wolf

114.pngBest Cute, Tiny Animal That Maybe Evolved Into Whales: the Chevrotain. Look at those little things! -- Max Kessler

20130512-251869-Dominique-Ansel-Bakery-cronut-edit.jpgBest Breakfast Pastry We're Really Fucking Sick of Reading About: Cronuts. Enough already! God! -- Elizabeth Thompson

Dinner Date This Week We Most Wished We Could've Crashed: Gloria Steinem and Katie Holmes' -- apparently the Toledo, Ohio natives were having a tête a tête at Greenwich Village's newish Carbone restaurant. Wonder what they talked about? -- A.S.

ursogay.jpgBest Office Find: The Katy Perry "Ur So Gay" 12" single. -- J.W.

Grossest Candy Product We Just Heard About: Breast milk-flavored lollipops. -- A.S.

Screen shot 2013-06-06 at 8.31.00 AM.pngBest Sign That the BBC Has No Fucks to Give: they're making their own Elizabeth Taylor-Richard Burton biopic and it stars a nearly unrecognizable Helena Bonham Carter (above) as Taylor. -- M.K.

Best Fish Taco Recipe from Last Weekend's New York Times Magazine That We Keep Telling Ourselves We're Going to Make This Summer and Probably Won't: This fish taco recipe. -- E.T.

309073_original.jpgWeirdest G-List Celebrity Who Started Doing Gay Porn: Nathaniel Marshall, who was on Adam Lambert's season and "made the top 36." -- M.K.

NBA Players Read Mean Tweets


Jimmy Kimmel's latest installment of famous people reading mean tweets about them is an NBA edition. Clippers player Deandre Jordan's mean tweet and answer are the best. [via Mashable]

tumblr_mnyof3Jg571rtgzofo1_r1_500.gifKim Kardashian rubbing Paris Hilton's feet: never forget. [via Tall Whitney]

Ibiza's hottest club is "unst unst." It has everything: girls in bikinis, shirtless paunchy dudes and a graver. It's that thing where a granny -- who's also a raver -- gets buck on the dance floor. Watch above. [via Hypervocal]

tumblr_mo09fp1QU21rw5dlyo1_500.jpgHere's a promo photo for a new band: Flock of Eagles. [via Afternoon Snooze Button]

tumblr_mo2z4j8fzt1rq3b5ko1_500.pngZING! [via The Clearly Dope]

tumblr_mo1huhszie1rq4uvro1_500.jpgWho wore it better? [via Bunny Food]

tumblr_mkct59H05U1qbluk8o1_500.jpgOld Gregg! [via 100 Years of Lolitude]

tumblr_mo5w6ohdqc1qaaafzo1_500.jpgThey make them. [via Rats Off]

Here's a clip of Louis C.K. playing a "toilet artist" named David Cross on an '90s MTV show. [via Splitsider]

tumblr_mo10udcB8f1qzcv7no1_400.gifHere's a muddy bunny -- he went to Governors Ball? -- straight up chillin' during a bath. [via Pleated Jeans]

Lincoln's Jenn Louis Digs the Barbacoa at Taqueria Portland

jenn-louis.jpgEach week in our Chefs Off Duty series, we talk to some of our favorite chefs and industry folk around the country to find out their secret late-night spots where they like to grab a bite and a pint when their kitchens are finally closed. Next up: Jenn Louis, the chef and co-owner of Portland, Oregon's Lincoln restaurant and the winner of Food & Wine's Best Chef 2012.

Where do you like to grab a bite when you're leaving your restaurant?

I like to eat food that's different from what I serve at my restaurant. I tend to go to a lot of ethnic restaurants -- Portland isn't tremendously diverse compared to larger cities but we have a few gems that I think are really special. I love Taqueria Portland in the St. John neighborhood.

Their barbacoa soup is amazing. It's super rustic. Your meat comes with the bones attached so you have to dig around it. It's one of my top three soups in Portland and I think it's just delicious. The quesadilla is also very delicious. [Taqueria Portland] feels like you're in Mexico. It's really casual -- it's a cinder block building and has Mexican soccer on the TV. Typically the clientele will be anywhere from 20-60 year-olds and you'll see Mexican families, hipster 20-year-olds and a good variety [in-between]. It doesn't get watered down, though. It stays authentic and it's affordable for everybody.

taqueria portland.jpgTaqueria Portland

How long have you been going there?

For about a year or so. I grew up just north of Mexico, about an hour east of L.A., so Mexican food is kind of my soul food. Being up in Portland, we have some really good Mexican food but it's not like being in California. A staffer told me, "Oh, you have to go to Taqueria Portland" and I went on a rainy day and got this big bowl of soup and it was just great.

What are some of their other specialties?

They use the barbacoa in a few different applications and it's my fave. I think their soups and braised meats are really good. The tacos are wonderful. It's not a fancy place so you're not going to find an extensive beverage menu but they do have margaritas and I believe they have horchatas -- but it's gritty. There's a bunch of booths and counter seating and you just plant yourself and order from the huge menu on the wall.

Taqueria Portland, 7007 N. Fessenden St., Portland; Open daily, 10am-9pm

Van Dyke Parks on Aging, Arranging and Skrillex



Van Dyke Parks, who abjures words like "quirky" and "idiosyncratic," has nevertheless led a unique career as rock musicians' (from the Beach Boys to Skrillex) favored performer of pre-rock functions like lyric-writing and arranging. Proud that he "didn't spend a life learning how to sing the blues," Parks now pokes fun at the British bands who were hardening rock while he pursued America's other musics on albums like his 1968 debut Song Cycle, which introduced his abrupt -- and undeniably quirky -- shifts of rhythm and key. ("It had no beat" is how he explains the cult album's commercial failure.)

On July 23, Bella Union will release Songs Cycled, Parks's first solo studio album since 1989. The twelve tracks were originally released on six handsome 7" singles and range from the topical ("Wall Street," "Money Is King") to the archival: a new rendition of Song Cycle's "The All Golden"; a Saint-Saëns adaptation recorded with the Esso Trinidad Steel Band in 1972. The album is already out in the UK and follows Super Chief: Music for the Silver Screen, a limited-edition Record Store Day survey of Parks's many film scores. ("That's how I got three kids through college," he says.)

I met Parks and his publicist recently in the lobby of Manhattan's Dream Hotel. A hand injury had forced him to cancel the previous night's scheduled performance at the Music Hall of Williamsburg. He introduced himself by presenting a business card with the text "Mr. Van Dyke Parks apologizes for his behavior on the night of ______ and sincerely regrets any damage or inconvenience he may have caused." Homespun -- or rather, home-punned -- aphorisms litter Parks's slow, high-pitched drawl. The Rolling Stones' "Ruby Tuesday" played as I pulled out my recorder.


Van Dyke Parks: I played piano for Ry Cooder, do you know that name?


We did that and we were sweating like horses, we worked so goddamn hard. Get offstage, really work our asses off. This guy is just rocking out. Ry had just done a great show. Get backstage and this guy walks up to me, says, "Hey, I'd like to meet Mr. Cooder." And I ask, "Who should I say it is?" And he says, "It's Eric Clapton."

"Oh, Eric Clapton, okay, I'll tell him."

So I go to Ry. "Ry, there's this fellow here to see you."


"He really really wants to meet you. Big fan and he loved the show."

"Who is it?" he said.

"Eric Clapton."

"Eric Clapton?" he said. "Get that motherfucker out of here now! Get out of here!"

So I don't know what happened next, I can't remember. I was put in a completely impossible position, having to go back and telling this guy, "You can't talk to Mr. Cooder, he's indisposed."

"Down in Hollywood," from Ry Cooder & the Moula Banda Rhythm Aces: Let's Have a Ball (1988), dir. Les Blank.

Was this recently?

Oh no, this was like ten years ago. It was actually real good, we were a real good group. If you Google my name with "Cooder," "Hollywood," you'll see who we were. My favorite group experience, playing with a group. That was so dynamite. We went all over the place to publicize a record called Get Rhythm. It was great.

You mention that because...?

Oh yeah, [sings to the tune of "Ruby Tuesday"] "Goodbye..." Because Ry actually had gone over to London, you know, with Jack Nitzsche, and played a whole bunch of stuff, you know they had him in the studio for a couple days. Ry's a very amiable guy, playing the riffs. He started playing guitar when he was five. And you know, everything was Delta. So he was playing his ass off. Then they said, "That's nice, we'll take it." And they did. You know, "Honky Tonk Woman." They ripped the motherfucker off so bad, creating this Anglo-American contretemps, diplomatic mare's nest that Ry never recovered from. So you know, it's like Jack Kennedy once said, "Forgive your enemies, but remember their names."

Now you're in an imploded industry.


Me too.

You've been frank about the economics of releasing this music yourself. Have you been making money?

I'm almost even. I'm almost even. I'm perfectly happy about it. But that's really a minor issue. The issue is that I'm exalted that I have a new record at the age of seventy. Now that doesn't mean that I am seventy just because I'm of age seventy. It means I am in my seventy-first year. Which means that I'm in my eighth decade. So doing the math, it makes it a little more startling and wonderful that I've come this far and have a record that's coming out in the States in July and just came out in the U.K., is coming out in Japan in a couple of weeks. It's a big deal for me. So I have no complaints.

There's a bit of older music on the record as well. What was the thought behind including that?

Its relevance to these times, its coming of age. Wine gets older, that doesn't mean that it isn't a novel experience uncorking it. I think for example, speaking of an older piece, "Aquarium" by the Esso Trinidad Steel Band is a perfect illustration of oil and world power, put up there with that song I wrote recently called "Black Gold." There is a relationship between oil and world power and the marine environment and it's something that's fascinated me since I saw my first Whole Earth Catalogue in 1968 and saw the Earth as a fragile little place. And that permeates my work. An echo of consciousness. I just couldn't avoid it, in spite of the stigma that's on old things.

The idea of creativity is to position what's old in a new context, reconfigure it either in presentation or reconstruction. That's what arranging does, that's what I do for a living.

Young journalists, for example, are pleased to rush in with the question, "What's new?" Matter of fact, it may be an occupational necessity to find out what's new. I have never run into a journalist who asks, "What's old?" Or really gives it much regard. That confounds me. I don't understand it. The idea of creativity is to position what's old in a new context, reconfigure it either in presentation or reconstruction. That's what arranging does, that's what I do for a living. To put both old and newly conceived objects in the currency of the present tense in a prism of contemporary understanding. That's what I try to do in my work. But it does make it a challenge about how to start a coherent album. I'm still learning how to do that.

I know you've been very specific in terms of the presentation of the singles you've been releasing. [The 7" records, released on Parks's own Bananastan label, are illustrated by the likes of Art Spiegelman and Ed Ruscha.] Is that also something you've been considering in releasing this whole collection?

I released the singles as a way of getting to the album. I did not want to approach a physical product through YouTube. Vinyl's old, but it's also of superior quality. It's the best form of audio transmission available to us. It's funny, isn't it. Because the estoppel is where the needle hits the striations of the groove, the carborundum, the vinyl plastic. That's the only estoppel. There is nothing digital that is available that can capture the spectrum of sounds that are available on vinyl.

There's a new generation, whether Gen X or millennial, who understand that they've been duped by the CD. It's a more brittle kind of a result, in spite of what the industry has told people to think. And I know well about it, because I've been to Eindhoven where the CD was invented by Philips. But I would say that we've been duped by it, and I like that other world. I like the world of vinyl. I have had to surrender to the accessibility of CD, and as a matter of fact I want to do the CD, because I want to communicate, I want to be available and I want to be a messenger of my--I don't mean to be highfalutin, but I do, I want to reach people. And if not now, when? This is my endgame.

My mother said, "If they ask you, 'Do you want another?' you've had enough."

Do you also record to tape then?

Oh yeah. And I go through a lot of tubes to get there. And an outboard. And I love it. I love it all. I just go for it all. As long as it's good. And I'm not a Luddite, I use a lot of computer in my work. The only way I can. If I have a film deadline or an arranging deadline and I can't just write my way through it. I had some recent hand injuries. I cannot write the way I did with the rapidity that's required and survive. Deadlines are that deadly these days. So I use a computer as an adjunct to that. Often, for example, I've done a lot of PBS show where if we just quantify it to 40%, I go 60-40 analogue live orchestra with 40% synthetic results to fool the common ear.

[To the waiter:] I would like another, yes if you please.

My mother said, "If they ask you, 'Do you want another?' you've had enough." My mother was so smart. How's your mother?

She's very well.

Does she pick on you?

Does she pick on me? No.

Mine did. Mine picked on me. I loved her. She was always appropriate.

How did you get into journalism, if you don't mind me asking? Did you just study it or just fall into this thing?

I kind of fell into it.

Well, I've studied the record business, but there is nothing anybody could have taught me that I couldn't just better learn myself, that's what I learned. I learned after I got out of school.

What kind of mistakes did you have to make?

I made all kinds of mistakes. We don't have enough days for me to elaborate on mistakes that I've made. I married in haste and other things. But, you know, marry in haste and repent at leisure. But that was just my first wife, my practice wife. I've also believed in music and in art as well, we can use that word, I think you must reserve the right to fail. You must. Otherwise you never reach anything of any permanence or value or significance. You must reserve the right to be wrong. I learn from it all. I learn as much from success as failure. And I have lived long enough to regret some of my decisions. But I'm also equally amazed at the things that I didn't do that I'm glad I didn't.

Part of the American hegemony and the rock revolution that once served a great purpose, now it's just something that doesn't translate easily into Islam.

Any in particular?

Yeah. I didn't spend a life learning how to sing the blues. I didn't co-opt the Delta blues. This is an age where black people can't get a job in the House of Blues. White kids got the blues. Famous white kids, celebrities, got the blues. Claptons. People that facsimilate the American lingo around the world. Part of the American hegemony and the rock revolution that once served a great purpose, now it's just something that doesn't translate easily into Islam. So we get things like fallen towers on Wall Street. With first-world problems locked in the blues. So I'm happy that I didn't have to rely on a life of bottleneck guitar.

[At this point my recorded stopped recording. We resume twenty minutes later as Mr. Parks describes his arrangements for Joanna Newsom's acclaimed 2006 album Ys.]

But I turned to Ms. Newsom at the end, because I was just astounded by her work. It didn't occur to me until I was leaving the room. I was thinking she maybe she heard something I did for Bruce Springsteen or Rufus Wainwright or, you know, Natalie Cole, I didn't know what. What had she heard that drew me to her? Why did she call me? Because that would help me as an arranger to know what she liked. Because then I could repeat it.

I said, "What did I do that you liked?" She said, "Song Cycle." I want to tell you something. That just buckled me. Because it just was all of a sudden, this record, which had been condemned, it was upsetting to people that they couldn't figure it out. There was nothing to figure out. But it's a highly personal record. But I got in trouble for it. Because it wasn't disco madness. It wasn't convenient, it had no beat. It wasn't marketable. All of a sudden someone younger than my own offspring is telling me that it was an inspiring record. Can't tell you, I thought I was gonna bawl. I really thought I was gonna bawl.

You said the "supra conscious," I think was the phrase you used [in the unrecorded conversation]...

I don't think my way through my work. Ever. To me it's like a Buster Keaton movie, or Charlie Chaplin. It's a man in crisis, always painting yourself into an impossible dilemma. You know, into a corner. That's to me what the creative process is: one crisis after another. And if you know where you're going, you'll end up in a braindead product, as the object of a braindead reality. I think only by real inquiry, by inquiring, by discovering, do you ever get anywhere. And in the end if you wrap it up in a package someone might say, "That's a nice concept." They might say, "That's a very bad concept." They might call it an Edsel. But I think it's important, absolutely vital in any creative process not to know. You cannot know where you're going. Unless you're Presbyterian. Then, hey! You know where you're gonna be tomorrow. That's dullsville to me. I would rather not know. That's what I mean about not knowing.

There are things that you have to know. Firstly, you have to know that you don't know. And I know that. I know that I don't know. The other thing is you have to know quantities. You have to know how much time you have to do how much work with how many people. Or no one at all. Certain figures come into play. So it's an informed guess, at best, any record. Like this one. I wanted to hear a song called "Hold Back Time." I wanted to hear it sung! It wasn't sung well. [Brian Wilson had sung "Hold Back Time" on Orange Crate Art, the album he and Parks recorded in 1995.] I know that. And I wanted to sing it. I wanted to present the song with conviction. I wanted the Steel Band to be heard, because that record had sunk without a trace.

There was a group. Twenty-eight men. That was a group that could start a piece and end at ten minutes. You know why? Because they were in flight formation. Because they had incredible talent. Incredible talent. And if they had gone a second over ten minutes, they would have been disqualified. That's what they do to groups in Trinidad. They were smart. And I felt that they deserved that exposure. Because they're friends, there's a great deal of personal interplay in all of these relationships. The birth of this record all has to do with people I know and love that are close to me that I have great respect for. It's safe to say that there's a great deal of sacrifice, not my own but a lot of people who have contributed a great deal to make it what it is. And it will finally pop in July.

How much does your work change in the process of recording? Do you start out with something on paper and then have to change it once you hear it?

You know, I made my living doing premeditated work. I sit down alone, in a little room, alone. I used to do a lot of extemporaneous work. I was even mentioned in Jazz Greats of the Twentieth Century as a pianist. I enjoy when that can happen now. If you YouTube "Van Dyke" "Ry Cooder" and "Hollywood" you'll see what I'm talking about. How I enjoy being an extemporaneous player. Great moment in performance history as far as I know. Beats opera.

So you asked how my process changes. What I do for a living and even with respect to myself, I take what's extemporaneous--that's off the cuff, unpremeditated--and then put premeditation, or notation, into that. Kind of like to keep framing that stuff, give it definition, but without ripping the heart out. Making an interplay between what is unanticipated and even accidental and working like with monastic devotion in a cell to raise it up with all the powers of prediction at my disposal. So it's just getting between those two worlds, extemporaneous and premeditated musical results, that's what I do for a living. Whether I'm doing it for somebody else or for myself, it's fascinating. I love it. I love being an arranger. And the song form is where I like to do that. I believe the song form has so much power. I think I have a place in that process.

When you say the song form, I imagine this is something you've studied going back to...

My childhood? Yeah.

But in the terms of the development of the song...

Well the funny thing about the song is it just keeps redefining itself. What a song can or should do. I mean [slips into voice] These kids today, I'm telling you, they're crazy! What they're doing with song, using powers of deception, tape-to-tape, they make the stuff that I did as a brunet look tame. There's just all kinds of outrageous new licenses to kill, in song.

I Googled his gaggle, I got him on the giggle.

A big moment for me, when I orchestrated for Skrillex. They called me, he had just been on a stage in front of 350,000 people in Belgium. I came there to see him. They were pissed off. Skrillex was on the phone, he wanted me to orchestrate for him. I had never heard of him. I Googled his gaggle, I got him on the giggle. He was onstage with a laptop computer. He was pouring beer onto the computer. The crowd went into ecstasy. I think, with some ecstasy. And they all jumped into the moshpit. I didn't understand that world. I didn't even know what he does. All I knew was who he is.

Suddenly there's a man with a great constituency who are looking at music through an entirely different understanding than anything I had ever anticipated. Total new world. And a world of political, sociopolitical, if I can get real heady with you, value. People who were out of the loop, who deserved in, who deserved to be considered and served. And so I did. I served him. Stuff like that can happen to a person in music faster than anything that I can imagine in the diamond lane of progress and profit. People just thinking about the eroticism of wealth. No, it takes uncertainty, it takes exploration, and it takes a flexible social agenda to be able to get self-reinvention through what music brings.

If I put all these people in one room, believe me, it would be combustible, explosive, all the people I've served of different political stripes. It blows me away. Very hard to figure out how to hold an all-encompassing party of these political misfits that I've served. And most of them now are younger than my own offspring. And that's what's wonderful about arranging is that I get this opportunity, you don't get it in pictures, film scoring.

I do something that is very rare. Not that many people want to do what I do, which is work real hard for little money. Record production, I don't understand, people call themselves producers. That's nice but I think that where the rubber hits the road is in arranging. That's where you make a difference in serving the artist. That's where the real work is done. And I'm having a ball.

Are there younger arrangers you think are doing well?

Nobody comes to mind. Somebody mentioned the word "Gabriel Kahane." I'm sorry I was dismissive. I felt that it was rather pretentious, but then again, he's very young, and I was also pretentious when I was young. You have to pretend to something at some point. But maybe there's something also, I think something that people have feared about my own work. It's like if you get a string section, maybe you're a snob. Very interesting, it can't be denied. The thing is, in doing, in fancifying with arranging, you're fanciful.

A lot of Delta blues artists, white kids with the blues, think maybe it's not hep to put on a string section or something. I think this because there's a proper caution, and the caution is you lose the proletarian chic, you lose the work, you lose the soul if you ornament extravagantly. The idea is to keep an economy, keep transparency in the work, keep the heat of the street in the work, if you want the elite to pay attention. That's the job of the arranger.

What were some of those experiences working with different directors like? Were some people more hands-on in terms of what they wanted from you?

Yeah, but my favorite director of all of them, I did several different pictures with him, was Tony Bill. Tony Bill got the Academy Award for The Sting. We were doing an Oliver Twist with Richard Dreyfuss. I just remember that Tony looked at the picture, had no music. We were on our way out of the theater and Tony put his arm around me. He said, "You know this picture needs a lot of music." That to me is an ideal director. Someone who trusts you to that degree. And that's when the best results happen. Because you're your own worst critic.

I'm not so afraid of people saying, "You know, I would like to have a flute flourish." You know. The terror is in having that trust given to you. That's what to me is awesome in the true sense of the word. It's absolutely awesome to be trusted. And how to treat that trust. And that's the glory train, that's the big deal. There are directors who were just the opposite who I've served who are well-known and I'm not gonna talk about them. Music, even in film, requires a lot of exploration. It takes a lot of work to figure out how to make two people, two actors who detest each other, say an actor and an actress on the scene in an embrace and they hate each other, feel it. But if you put music underneath and it's romantic, convincingly romantic. It's as if they have flaming desire. So the remedy that music has for pictures that are failures in acting or in scripting, it's just phenomenal. And that takes a lot of trial and error. Highly self-critical process.

And how did you end up on Twin Peaks?

Well, the director [Graeme Clifford] asked me to be on the show, and it was the last episode. And I loved him like a brother. And I got on there, I played the attorney, and it turns out that I knew the judge. His name was Royal Dano. Royal Dano had been a man that I'd met in New York City in 1953, I was on a television show with him. And all of a sudden, there he was, and I was a grown-up and he was an old man. I hadn't seen him in thirty years or something.

Drag Queens Mock Downton Abbey to the Tune of Madonna's "Vogue"


Though it seems inconceivable, there are lot of folks out there who don't watch Downton Abbey and, gasp, never intend to. (Let's get real for a second: If Downton was on HBO, filled with sex and Mr. Bates was played by a smoldering Swedish actor named Börj Gjord everyone would be all over it. People see 'Masterpiece Theater' and run screaming.) Now all those anti-Downtonites have an anthem: Funny or Die's new music video "Snore," a drag queen-filled take-down of the beloved show set to the tune of Madonna's "Vogue" and Real McCoy's "Another Night Another Dream." Comedian Jeff Hiller, hunky actor David Burtka and RuPaul BFF Michelle Visage join queens Courtney Act, Willam, Vicky Vox and a slew of other queer allies to reveal the dark side of Downton Abbey: that it really tows the line between too slow and just right. Watch above.

Diddy, Paul Rudd and Robyn Star in The Lonely Island's "Go Kindergarten" Video


Surprise! There's another Lonely Island #WackWednesday video even though it's not Wednesday and even though we'd incorrectly assumed there'd be no more videos once The Wack Album dropped (it's out today). At any rate, here's the real video for "Go Kindergarten" -- another clip came out two weeks ago, showing a bunch of people dancing with cardboard boxes on their heads -- starring the "Fuck, Marry, Kill"-worthy lineup of Paul Rudd, Diddy and Robyn. Diddy takes a reluctant Rudd out clubbing where they encounter The Lonely Island guys and Robyn dressed like dictators (if these dictators were styled by Bryanboy, that is). Like a demented game of "Simon Says," Andy, Jorma and Akiva alternately order the crowd to "whip your dick out," "punch your friends," and "make your butt look flat." Shit just gets weirder from there.

Watch "Go Kindergarten" above and check out The Lonely Island on the cover of PAPER HERE.

The Wack Album is out today via Universal Republic.

GovBall Chatz: Yeasayer Talk Jorts, Kanye's Bathroom and Being "Loose-Skinned Men"

governors6.JPGBetween petting baby chicks, listening to bands, and wading through mud at Governors Ball this weekend, we had a little tête-à-tête with Yeasayer's Chris Keating and Ira Wolf Tuton. Read on to see what the guys have to say about music festival fashion, Star Trek and Kanye's bathroom.

Do you have any weird or funny things you like to do to unwind when you're on tour?

Ira Wolf Tuton & Chris Keating: Fetishes?

IWT: Were you about to say 'fetishes'?

CK: That's where I thought you were going...

IWT & CK: [We see a] lotta movies.

Have you seen anything good lately?

CK: We were in Atlanta and we all just went and saw the Star Trek movie. Yes, you can put it in parentheses that we're nerds.

IWT: Star Trek, as a thing, has a ceiling. It can only be so good and in saying that, I thought it was pretty good.

Do you watch a lot of TV?

IWT: Yeah-uh!

Like what?

Fucking, uh --

IWT: What all the cool kids watch.

So, in other words, you're like that Portlandia sketch where they name drop all the "critically acclaimed" shows like Downton Abbey and Breaking Bad.

IWT: Downton Abbey lost me. I was just like, "Yeah, apparently I don't really care about any of these people and what happens to them."

CK: There's a show where this guy is naked and tries to survive on an island for sixty days.

IWT: Survivor.

CK: Nah, it's not called 'Survivor.' It's called Naked Castaway. It's really good. It's on Discovery Channel but it's an English show. It's not Bear Grylls, though. [The guy] gets off a boat, completely naked, just carrying cameras. He films himself surviving for sixty days and it's awesome because he starts to go crazy.

IWT: If he has three cameras, who's filming him?

CK: He has a head camera and he sets up three.

What's your favorite viral video that you've seen lately?

CK: The Beatles anthology. I've been watching that on YouTube. Is that viral? There's 7,000 views. Is that a lot?

I'm gonna say...no.

CK: It's difficult to watch because it's twelve hours long and it's broken up into ten-minute increments. I'm trying to bounce around. John [Lennon] just wrote "A Day In the Life." Incredible song.

IWT: Pitchfork gave it a 7.5.

What's the weirdest thing on your rider?

CK: We fuckin' got rid of our rider. It's played out. Water, booze --

IWT: Nothing else. We'll just take the money and have everyone get their own things.

CK: We don't need a hundred grapes.

IWT: We don't need the hummus, the cheese and the roast beef. I just imagine that guy who's going through Whole Foods and getting all that shit.

What's a festival fashion trend you'd like to see go away?

IWT: It's all about fans. [Ira holds up a paper fan.]

CK: I see a lot of jorts. Jorts and big hats -- the girls with the 'boho' shit. Nah, but I'm cool with that. Every girl looks good in jorts and a big 'ole hat. It could be worse. I see a lot of jumpsuits now -- I like the ladies in jumpsuits. Flowy shit.

Is that your trailer, by the way, with the "Ermahgerd" sign?

CK: Actually our trailer is inside Kanye's bathroom. It's a little awkward sometimes. We're in the medicine cabinet and he's like, "Don't look [at me]!"

You guys gonna try to hang out with Kanye?

CK: That literally will not be a possibility --

IWT: I think that'd be a terrible way to spend the rest of my day.

CK: You would have better luck than we would. I think they'd be more friendly towards ladies [hanging] out with Kanye than old fuckin' indie rock 'n' roll dickheads.

IWT: Loose-skinned men.

CK: Haha! Album title! Sick!

What's the "loose skin" in reference to? Old people?

IWT: We're old. You get more droopy.

On that note...

Daphne Guinness's First Music Video Is Here


A few months ago Daphne Guinness announced on Twitter that she was in a studio recording an album. Now we get to see what a Daphne Guinness music video looks like with the release of her first single, "Fatal Flaw." Like the videos commissioned by Parisian store Printemps -- which Guinness sang in last February, revealing her musical talents -- "Fatal Flaw" was directed by Nick Knight, the British fashion photographer extraordinaire and director of Björk's "Pagan Poetry" and Lady Gaga's "Born This Way." Given the over-the-top, editorial sensibilities of both Knight and Guinness, the video was bound to be visually epic. "Fatal Flaw" finds Guinness -- clad in feathers, leathers and sequins, as far as we can tell -- crawling and crooning through an electronic technicolor dreamscape; in fact, you barely get a non-digitized look at her. Most important, the song ain't half bad! Guinness's voice is woeful and deep and a bit like Nico's. Watch and try not to get hypnotized by the visuals.

A PSA for Bitchy Resting Face

See Naomi Watts in a Wig From 1,000 Angles In the New Trailer for Diana


We all know the tragic story of Princess Diana, so we guess the makers of this teaser trailer for Diana, the upcoming biopic about the Princess of Wales, decided to eschew speech altogether. Who needs it? Seeing a thousand different shots of Naomi Watts' dressed as Diana while an extended piano version of "Apologize" plays in the background is suspenseful enough? The only other thing we can glean from this clip is that Watts appears to be suffering from Weird Wig Syndrome, or WWS. Girl should join the Lincoln-Phil Spector Weird Wig Support Group. While Watts is usually great, we're gonna put this in the same category as the Anna Nicole Smith biopic: we're very skeptical but deeply excited. Watch above.

Mavis Staples, Jeff Tweedy and His Son Jam in "I Like the Things About Me"


Mavis Staples has been in the studio working on a new album with Wilco's Jeff Tweedy and the result, One True Vine, comes out on June 25. (Read all about it in our upcoming Summer Music Issue, on stands June 17th!) Staples, of course, has been recording since the '50s, when she began performing with her siblings as the Staple Singers. They had tons of Top 40 hits, including "I'll Take You There" which went to #1 in 1972. This is her second outing with Tweedy after 2010's You Are Not Alone. In this clip for upcoming single "I Like the Things About Me," Mavis is seen working on the album in Chicago with Tweedy -- and that's his son Spencer on drums.

The Eva Perón at Krescendo

Eva Perrone.jpgPerhaps one of the reasons the trashy Long Island Iced Tea remained in the must-have drink pantheon for so long is because of its boozy simplicity: equal parts vodka, gin, light rum, tequila and triple sec, topped off with sour mix and cola.

While that abomination is persona non grata in today's craft cocktail circles, its balanced spirit lives on in the decidedly more refined Eva Perón at Boerum Hill pizzeria Krescendo. In this version, the five intermingling liquids of choice are aromatic: Fernet Branca, Carpano Antica vermouth, Domaine de Canton (a ginger-flavored liqueur), lime juice and ginger beer -- hardly T.G.I. Friday's territory.

Bi-coastal bartender Darren Crawford, who divvies up his month between San Francisco -- where he's the bar manager of speakeasy Bourbon & Branch -- and Krescendo, first unveiled the concoction with a colleague as a special creation for a private party of Argentinians. "Argentina loves Fernet as much, if not more, than San Francisco."

At Krescendo, it turns out the drink also makes an unexpectedly nice companion to burrata-laden pizza. "Bitter elements and acidity cut through the sweet and savory components," Crawford explains. "The ingredients are synergistic in a surprising way. The herbaceous and assertive Fernet is nicely tamed by the roundness and richness of the Carpano Antica, the Domaine de Canton backs up the spice of the ginger beer and the kick of the lime juice keeps it honest and refreshing."


1 oz. Fernet Branca

1 oz. Carpano Antica

1 oz. Domaine de Canton

1 oz. lime juice

1 oz. ginger beer

Combine the Fernet Branca, Carpano Antica, Domaine de Canton and lime juice in an ice-filled shaker. Shake well and strain into an ice-filled Collins glass. Top with ginger beer and garnish with a lime wheel.