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All the posts on www.papermag.com.

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    KimKardashian-Home2.jpgThe transformation of Kim Kardashian has been truly remarkable. It's evident by now that she's an expert at holding public attention -- all on the back of a career that started because of a grievous violation of her trust. Besides distilling her life effortlessly into Selfish, having a beautiful girl, and continuing to work while pregnant with a son (!), Kim will now give a lecture on what she's learned. The event -- called "Kim Kardashian West Live!" and held at Oakland's Paramount Theater on June 30 -- will focus on everything from the "objectification of women in media media" to how she has, in true late capitalist fashion, monetized every aspect of her life. Speaking of monetization, you can buy your tickets to this presumably unforgettable seminar here.



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    Vince 1.jpgPhoto courtesy Vince Staples for NPR Music

    NPR Music's First Listen has long been one of the best places to watch for your most anticipated albums, which magically show up ready to legally and clearly stream, building hype and allowing you to form a reasonable opinion of a record before its technical release date. And today is an especially incredible day for First Listen, which debuted six (yes, six) albums. They include new work from Matt Pond PA, Joy Williams (formerly half of The Civil Wars), and Neil Young's anti-Monsanto album -- but the real stars are Vince Staples and Miguel.

    Vince Staples' full-length debut, Summertime '06, is finally available to stream, and it is glorious. Its nightmarish intensity and fantastic production (from the likes of No I.D., Clams Casino, and DJ Dahi) might not be for everyone, but if you can get on Staples' level, it's easily one of the best rap albums of the year.






    miguel3.jpgAnd then you can cool down (or heat up) your day with former Paper cover starMiguel'sWildheart. It's everything you could want and more from a new Miguel album, which means that, to say the least -- it might not be safe for work. With so much new music out today, it might be a while before anyone has spent enough time with any individual record to form a considered opinion. So while the world is scrambling and trying to set up dates around the new Miguel, we'd like to just take a second to say: Bravo, NPR.



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    the-chemical-brothers-2015.jpg
    The majestic St. Vincent has teamed up with The Chemical Brothers for a new pulsar ray-emitting techno track called "Under Neon Lights." 

    A track from the Chemical Brothers's upcoming, collaboration-heavy album Born In The Echoes (Q-Tip's on there, too!), there's a heavy element of psychedelia to the entire production. Filled with oscillating riffs and St. Vincent's wooze-inducing voice, it's also paired with a glowing, geometric video that's about as hypnotizing as that round-about flute sample. 

    Watch the video below.


    h/t Pitchfork

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    One of the highlights of the New York City summer season -- the Mermaid Parade -- returned to Coney Island on Saturday and, once again, it was a glittery, ocular buffet. Men, women, children and pets came out in their tails, bikinis and body paint to celebrate the "ancient mythology and honky-tonk rituals of the seaside." Take a look at photos from the festivities by Melissa Spitz, below.























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    Saturday night, a fashionable crew decamped for Montauk to help celebrate alice + olivia's 10-year anniversary of their first boutique at a bash held at Gurney's Resort. Inside a tent decorated with colorful, Moroccan-esque throws, pillows and lights, guests like Erin Wasson, Laura Love, actress Abby Elliott, and more toasted a+o designer Stacey Bendet and snacked on BBQ like burgers, grilled corn on the cob and veggie kebabs. The night included DJ sets by Hannah Bronfman and a performance by The Dolls (Mia Moretti and Margot). Take a look at pics from the evening, below.


    Atlanta de Cadenet Taylor, Erin Wasson and Laura Love


    alice + olivia designer Stacey Bendet


    Abby Elliott


    Heron Preston (right)


    Kelly Framel


    Claudia Cifu and Chioma Nnadi


    Cleo Wade


    Paula Goldstein di Principe


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    Tanlines' Eric Emm gets a doppelgänger in the Brooklyn indie pop duo's newest release,  "Palace."Girls' Alex Karpovsky, who also wrote and directed the film along with Teddy Blanks, plays the double, and in a series of Sliding Doors-esque scenes, we watch them both pine over Natasha Lyonne, who plays the ex-girlfriend that walks out on Emm/Karpovsky in the opening seconds of the video. While Emm tries to work things out with Lyonne in couples' counseling, Karpovsky tries to get over the break-up with some slightly-NSFW hijinks (comically bedding a succession of women, accepting massive quantities of cocaine from bandmate Jesse Cohen, getting electrocuted in the bath by a toaster, etc.). We won't spoil the ending(s).

    Watch the clip, which was co-produced by Urban Outfitters, and keep an eye for more cameos by High Maintenance's Ben Sinclair (who plays a douchey music exec) and Leo Fitzpatrick (as Karpovsky's doppelgänger), above.

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    johnoliver.jpg
    So the Internet has been freaking out over John Oliver droppingsomerealnessabouttheInternetbeing ashitty placefor women -- in the same way that Jon Stewart got a ton of love for talking about Charleston a few days ago. Which, you know, is great and super valid and all, but is definitely something that nags at the mind of feminists/people of color for obvious reasons. 


    But before you yell at me, know that this is a critique of media in general -- namely re: what voices they decide to amplify. After all, I have no issues with white males who also think our world is messed up, but what I do get incensed about is how they're the ones who tend to get a giant virtual cookie/pat on the back for basically saying the same things marginalized groups have been saying forever. 


    Because yes, the visibility they lend these issues is great, wonderful even, but why are these guys the ones getting the retweets, re-posts and press from literally every major outlet about what visionary culture warriors they are? Why do these white guys get a standing ovation for talking about important issues that the media's perfectly willing to dismiss every other day (especially when they come from other mouths)? Why do they continue to get mad claps while the actual disenfranchised continue to just field a ton of dismissive @s and messages about "going home"? After all, I'd much rather have more stories about Whoopi telling Wes Anderson to cast more POC or more than 5 things about Kendrick's "I am Trayvon Martin" statement than a millionth article about John Oliver being a conscious white dude. Because agency, people! Women and POC do cool things for their own causes all the time!

    Remember, a big criticism many activists have of "allies" is that while well-meaning and undeniably useful, the fact that they are the ones being held up as revolutionary thinkers of how messed up our society is, is really, really frustrating.It also suggests our ideas need to be "validated" by these men to make them real. Because I really do get a death/rape/"go back to xxx" threats every time I bother to write something that touches on race or feminism, and I'll probably get a few more to add to my collection once this post goes up. But is this not legitimized until Stewart makes a statement on it?



    We'd have a much better media if there were a multiplicity of narratives and more stories told/shaped by people that aren't white men (seeing as how they dominate what we have right now), but by holding up Stewart, Oliver et al. as the definitive voices of these issues you are reproducing the systematic power inequalities that's already a huge part of what makes our media so problematic. The narrative is controlled and continually propelled by the same people it's always been created by, rather than the people who have been directly affected by said circumstances.

    Because once again, while giving this stuff a platform is awesome, a lot of the times it comes off as less of a signal boost and more of a "let me give you my relevant take on this." So maybe the answer is to give a woman of color her own satirical news show? Or to start talking more about what useful contributions Jessica Williams has made to this discussion already? Or, you know, just sit down and listen to the women-run blogs and thinkpieces that have already tackled this issue?

    After all, I'm sure we can all agree that Ta-Nehisi Coates writing about the Confederate flag is a lot more salient than a British comedian's take or that reading Brianna Wu's own post about female gamer harassment is a touch more relevant than a snippet of an old interview in Oliver's segment -- so keep clicking those articles and signal-boosting those voices, rather than the same ones we've been listening to for ages.


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    Screen Shot 2015-06-22 at 2.35.29 PM.pngFollowing the buzzy, funktronica single, "Can't Get Enough," THRILLERS (AKA brothers Gregory and Jeremy Pearson), are back with their official debut EP, Cotton Candy Kisses. It's a title Gregory says represents love and relationships, "sweet to taste, but it melts so fast, as if you never had it." The idea of cotton candy also inspired the Pearson brothers to explore a more summery, nostalgic sound, one that evokes childhood weekends spent at a county fair.

    The LA-based duo shopped this project around every label in their city before starting their own, "TASTE. Recordings," to ensure they'd be hands-on with every last detail, from lyrics to production, album artwork to music videos. "We had a vision to accomplish and wanted to make sure it was intact," Gregory explains.

    Before recording the record, Gregory says they went on a 'creative sabbatical,' which, in this case, meant tripping on mushrooms while hanging out on So-Cal beaches as a way to open their minds and better determine the sound they wanted to create. References to '70s and '80s soul, disco and funk and artists like Chaka Khan, Stevie Wonder and Gap Band float alongside the brothers' love of New Wave artists like "Tear for Fears, Pet Shop Boys and Sisters of Mercy." It's a project that Gregory ultimately descries as "a fragment of our life-long journey, put into six songs." Listen to Cotton Candy Kisses, below.



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    janet-jackson1.jpgFinally, finally, Janet Jackson has returned with a new single, seven years after her last album. The first released track off her new album Unbreakable, which will reportedly be released this fall, "No Sleep" sounds like it could have come out of a back vault or a dusted-off archive, in the best, smoothest, sexiest way possible. Listen to it below (but put your headphones in), and read Megan Garber at The Atlantic for more on what Janet's been up to over the past few years.


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    Back in our October issue, we called Ladyfag"the woman saving New York nightlife," and, indeed, Ms. Fag was back again this weekend with the Pride Week edition of her SHADE party Saturday with partner Seva Granik to remind the city that counter club culture is alive and well, even when it seems like the five boroughs are telling you otherwise. Like the previous installation of SHADE, the party was held at a massive Greenpoint warehouse on the banks of the East River. Inside, two huge inflatable penises flanked the DJ booth, where DJs Heartthrob, Wrecked, Honey Dijon and Fatherhood, played until 8 am and a room wallpapered in porn with neon sign "Pussy Palace" crowning its entrance way was a spot to take a break from the dance floor. Check out our photos of all the SHADEy Pride fun by Rebecca Smeyne below.

































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    As we are approaching the 22nd anniversary of PrideFest in NYC (and the 46th anniversary of Stonewall), it's interesting and somewhat disheartening when we look back at Vito Russo's landmark book The Celluloid Closet. LBGT kids today forget how gays were portrayed early on in Hollywood movies. They were blackmailed (Victim), they shoot themselves (The Sergeant), hang themselves (The Children's Hour), were turned straight (Tea And Sympathy), were hit by a falling tree (The Fox) or torn apart and eaten by kids (Suddenly Last Summer). Luckily there are new films (The Kids Are All Right, Love Is Strange and Weekend) that are positive reflections. But here are 10 early gay films that pushed the envelope in the right direction.

    PinkN.jpgPink Narcissus (1971)
    Director James Bidgood's loony, dream-like, erotic fantasia starring the beautiful Bobby Kendall as the object of desire. Made over many years with homemade sets and fabric and crackpot costumes, it's mad and absolutely fabulous.

    Petra.jpgThe Bitter Tears Of Petra Von Kant (1972)
    Rainer Werner Fassbinder's brilliant, cinematically dazzling film set entirely in one apartment about a needy, neurotic, lesbian designer (Margit Carstensen) and her masochistic servant (Irm Hermann).

    Law.jpgLaw Of Desire (1987)
    One of my favorite early Pedro Almodovar films about a gay film director (Eusebio Poncela) and a crazed obsessed fan (Antonio Banderas). Almodovar's exquisite mix of farce and melodrama is unparalleled and the end is unforgettable. There's also a transgender twist that is the best.

    parislgbtfilm.jpgParis Is Burning (1990)
    Before being co-opted by Madonna, the NY underground Harlem vogue balls were documented in this wonderful documentary by Jennie Livingston.

    Poison.jpgPoison (1991)
    The fact that this early Todd Haynes movie won best film at Sundance was a shot in the arm for the new wave of gay cinema. Three separate stories are intertwined mixing everything from mad scientists, a boy who kills his father and Jean Genet prison reveries. An audacious, truly original film.

    Idaho.jpgMy Own Private Idaho (1991)
    River Phoenix gave a transcendent performance as a narcoleptic male hustler in Portland, Oregon in Gus Van Sant's darkly funny, elegiac, dreamy film.

    Swoon.jpgSwoon (1992)
    Tom Kalin's unique retelling of the infamous 1924 thrill kill murder of a 13 year old boy by Nathan Leopold and Richard Loeb (Craig Chester & Daniel Schlachet). Defiantly anachronistic and incredibly lyrical.

    LivingEnd.jpgThe Living End (1992)
    "Mysterious Skin" may just be about one of my favorite films of all time but I remember how jolted I was by Gregg Araki's early, angry, exhilarating film about a young writer (Craig Gilmore) who finds out he's HIV positive and picks up a frighteningly cute -- but trigger happy -- drifter (Mike Dytri).

    longday.jpgThe Long Day Closes (1992)
    This was Terence Davies' companion piece to Distant Voices, Still Lives (still one of the most moving films I've ever seen). Set in Liverpool during the years of 1955 and 1956, charting an 11 year-old's growing love affair with movies and coming to terms with his sexuality. These memory pieces by Davies are personal and powerful.

    gofish.jpgGo Fish (1994)
    Before there was Girls, there was this first-rate feature by Rose Troche about the relationships between twenty-something women and their machinations to bring two seemingly mismatched souls together (Guinevere Turner & V.S. Brodie). Funny, fresh, and inventive.

    (P.S.  also try and search out: Born In Flames,Sebastiane, Nighthawks, Desert Hearts, Parting Glances, Happy Together, Longtime Companion, and The Delta, too.)

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    There's nothing like some gorgeous male model eye candy to make Monday just a bit more bearable. This week for our Model Crush Monday we're featuring Louis Mayhew, a smoldering Boston native from DNA models. We teamed up with Bloomingdales to give you a sneak peak at some of the pieces included in their fall 2015 Bloomingdales 100% line, featuring exclusive select  pieces from labels includingCoach, Michael Kors, Billy Reid, AllSaints, Canali, Canada Goose, AG Jeans, Hugo Boss and more.

    Take It away, Lewis...
     



    Lewis Mayhew-117-Edit-Edit.jpg
    Louis wears a sweater by AllSaints for 100% Bloomindales

    Lewis Mayhew-243-Edit-Edit.jpg
    A jacket by Billy Reid for 100% Bloomingdales, and jeans by Michael Kors for 100% Bloomingdales

    Lewis Mayhew-364-Edit-Edit.jpg
    Suit Jacket by Canali for 100% Bloomingdales

    Lewis Mayhew-467-Edit-Edit.jpg
    Calvin Klein Underwear

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    Screen Shot 2015-06-22 at 2.55.17 PM.png
    Circuit des Yeux's Haley Fohr has the kind of lush, cognac-stained baritone that would give Nico a run for her money -- and her latest showcase of said gift is a video for "Fantasize the Scene" that chronicles a whimsical tale of fleeting friends. An irresistible folk-rock gem off of her critically-acclaimed new album In Plain Speech, we caught up briefly with Fohr herself to talk about the efficacy of humor, the idea of loneliness and the power of friendship, no matter how brief. Make friends with her on tour this summer.


    Tell me a little about the song itself. What's the context for its writing?   

    I have spent a lot of time traveling and touring in the last 2 years. I meet and make friends from all over the world. Our physical contact generally lasts only a day, and then I never really know if or how I will ever meet them again. This song is a take on that experience, and the everlasting quality true friendship has, no matter how brief the physicality of it. I find myself really leaning on those experiences when I feel alone touring the road as a solo musician.  

    There's something very silly about the visuals of the entire video, which is a pretty stark contrast to the drone-esque song structure and rich, contemplative nature of your voice. Why is that?  

    Although the tone of my voice is dark and rich, the message is actually very uplifting. It's hopeful and positive. It's about thinking back on a great time between two friends during a time of loneliness and considering the possibility of reconnecting. It toys with the idea that you and that friend could conquer the world and do anything! I can't help the way my voice sounds, it's very dark and resonant. But I'm not all serious. I'm actually a pretty lighthearted character in "real life". Humor is an important emotion. In fact I think it is just as important as love, hate, or any other passionate thing a human fields in life.   

    I love the idea of "being alone" that you explore, but why pair a childlike, carefree attitude to this? Is the idea of loneliness something you'd like to destigmatize or...?   

    Loneliness is something that we all deal with at some point in our lives. I've had to deal with it recently and it's been a bit difficult. Exaggerating these sort of "shit day" experiences & pairing it with a bit of humor offers a sense of relief & adds a bit of perspective, I'd like to think. Loneliness is fleeting after all.      

    Let's talk for a second about your voice; are you classically trained? There's something almost operatic about your pronunciation and vibrato.   

    I took lessons for 10 years, so I yes I am classically trained.  I think a lot of the character of my voice has just recently surfaced through the last 2 years of performing.  I can't really change the way my voice sounds as it is an element of my physical being. There isn't much thought being put towards things like pronunciation & vibrato any more these days.  I like to think of it as a conglomerate of training and subconscious thoughts, leading me to be the singer I am today.  

    What's your IRL relationship with Whitney Johnson, who plays your fleeting friend?   

    Whitney is a great friend of mine! She plays viola on my new record, In Plain Speech.  We've gotten to know each other just this past year from playing music together. We like to go out to shows, grab drinks, discuss books, go dancing, you know, we have a great time together.  She also makes music under her own moniker, Matchess.

    The ending's surprisingly sad and tender, but a very sudden move away from the direction you were going in before. Why the 360?   

    It's an ode to the dichotomy of the solitary and universal. Musically, as a coda, it's a snap back to my own reality. I'm traveling the world completely alone, going through unknown doors, but hoping that there will be a future friendship on the other side. Ironically, I'm writing this from a hotel room in Cologne (a city where I know no one). I'm on week 2 of a 3 week solo tour and I do feel this exact feeling in this very moment. In the video, the two strangers becoming friends had to have a blip in their connection because that's the way life goes. Our lives aren't all that different, you know? We all have struggles and those sweet moments of complete understanding with a stranger are sometimes meant to live and die in those short moments of being together. But for me, they resonate and help carry me through times like these. It's hope that I could meet another perfect match, or find someone to relate to. It's 11:15 PM here in Cologne, and I don't speak a lick of German. But perhaps tomorrow I will make another friend and make a few great memories.


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    Charli_One.jpg

    Charli wears a Nicopanda Red Ruffled Coat and Jeremy Scott shoes and bag.

    "I don't think I'm the type of person who always says the right thing," Charli XCX admits with a laugh. "In fact, I always say the wrong thing at the wrong time."

    The 22-year-old, Cambridge, England-born singer does have a reputation for being a "wrong" young pop star, if "wrong" means "admirably indefinable:" she gives expletive-laden interviews, rolls up at awards shows dressed like Cher Horowitz on acid and once holed up in Sweden and wrote a whole punk album, only to scrap it. And while her 2014 album, Sucker, was littered with new wave-inspired odes to dumping deadbeat boyfriends and rallying calls for teens to play hooky, none of Charli XCX's '90s-nostalgia-heavy shtick feels performative. She's one of the few pop stars who's been able to nail down Tumblr-girl power and camp with such strong vision and songwriting that it feels totally organic.

    "I think there's this twenty-first-century idea of what sells records, especially within females, but there's no cookie-cutter pop star," Charli says, her spitfire tone never faltering as she answers my questions. (She's calling from a baseball game, which, she assures me, she doesn't understand one bit.) "Sometimes I think record labels still try and cram artists into that, but the artists who are successful are the ones that tell them to fuck off." It's not a sense of provocation Charli XCX brings to the pop music table as much as it is effortless self-assurance. Neither down-to-earth "cool girl" who eschews high-maintenance stardom nor world-dominating diva, she pens songs about hitting the discotheque and acting like she's famous with her girlfriends that are somehow devoid of cloying underdog vibes. She's better than accessible: she feels best-friendable.

    Charli02.jpg
    Charli wears a Jeremy Scott dress, Dolce & Gabbana hair clip.


    Charli03.jpg
    Charli wears a Jeremy Scott dress, Fogal tights.

    All of this can be owed to the fact that Charli XCX does not care about "being cool," which is surprising given her long list of stellar collaborations (e.g. Iggy Azalea, Ty Dolla $ign, Giorgio Moroder). "At the end of 2013 [there] was a moment when something clicked and I genuinely and truly stopped worrying what people thought of me," Charli says of working on Sucker. "For the past couple of years I've been super done with trying to be someone I wasn't, and finding that peace leads to being able to do what you want with conviction. You're not trying to kid yourself along with everyone else." In turn, it seems like Charli has figured out that the best way to broadcast being a self-confident pop star is simply to inhabit the message.

    What's clear is that Charli's determination to freely be who she is extends beyond crafting a comfortable spot just for herself in the pop landscape. A memorable moment for the singer came at the 2015 Grammy Awards, where she was nominated for Record of the Year and Best Pop Duo/Group Performance for her spot on Iggy Azalea's "Fancy."

    Asked by Giuliana Rancic what she hated most about the industry, Charli replied "misogyny" without missing a beat. "There is definitely still a strain of it," she tells me. "It's shit sometimes that there are literally no women working at record labels, and female artists tend to get more questions about their validity as creatives, whereas male artists in the same position don't. It's so frustrating."

    The solution? Good old-fashioned support for her female peers, which Charli considers an act of "basic human nature," and recognition that the industry tends to pit them against each other without understanding that all these women can exist in the same field. "I've always felt that the women I've been surrounded by have been super respectful to one another, especially now. There's a lot of unity between female artists," she says. "I treat everyone the way I'd like to be treated." Now, what could be more right than that?

    co4.jpg
    Charli wears a Dolce & Gabbana dress, Jeremy Scott shoes.

    c06.jpg
    Charli wears a Jeremy Scott coat and bag, House of Holland trousers.

    c07.jpgCharli wears a Nicopanda jumper, Jeremy Scott shoes and a Screaming Mimi's scarf.

    c05.jpgCharli wears a Jeremy Scott dress.


    Styling by Lisa Katnic

    Hair by Andy Lecompte
    Makeup by Kali Kennedy
    Nails by Stephanie Stone
    Art by Garrett Davis
    Production by Rachel Ann Cole

    700x75.jpg



    See Charli XCX on tour this summer with Bleachers. Dates below.


    July 21st            San Diego, CA              The Observatory North Park
    July 22nd            Costa Mesa, CA          Pacific Amphitheatre
    July 23rd            Oakland, CA                 Fox Theater
    July 25th            Seattle, WA                   Showbox SoDo
    July 26th            Troutdale, OR                Edgefield
    July 29th            Denver, CO                   The Fillmore Auditorium
    August 4th         Minneapolis, MN            Cabooze Plaza
    August 5th         Milwaukee, WI               Eagles Ballroom
    August 7th         Tulsa, OK                      Cain's Ballroom
    August 8th         Kansas City, MO           Starlight Theatre
    August 9th         St. Louis, MO                The Pageant
    August 11th        Detroit, MI                     The Fillmore Detroit
    August 12th        Columbus, OH              LC Pavilion

     
    * BØRNS supports all dates

     
    Second Leg Tour Dates:


    September 14th              Boston, MA                  House of Blues

    September 16th              Wallingford, CT             The Dome

    September 18th              Philadelphia, PA            Festival Pier

    September 19th              Shadow Of The City

    September 21th              New York, NY              Central Park Summerstage

    September 23rd              Washington, DC            Echo Stage

    September 25th               Tampa, FL                   Jannus Landing

    September 27th              Orlando, FL                   House Blues

    October 1st                   Dallas, TX                     House of Blues

    October 3st                   Houston, TX                 House of Blues

    October 6st                  Phoenix, AZ                  Marquee

     October 7st                  Los Angeles, CA          Palladium

     October 9th                   Las Vegas, NV              Boulevard Pool at The Cosmopolitan

     October 10th                 Salt Lake City, UT        Complex

    *Robert DeLong supports all dates


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    We Start Right Where We Left Off: The Kaitlyn Bristowe Story continues, and we have to sit through Ian, as Nick puts it, "intentionally questioning her character." Same story different day -- Ian sucks. He proceeds to go out of his way to hurt Kaitlyn while she internally seethes before she gives him what he deserves, telling him "my blood is boiling...you have in no way appreciated the person that I am. I'm really disappointed in how you approached that." As for Ian's exit, I'll let him do his own talking.

    "I'm too deep a thinker. I went to Princeton, Deerfield...I'm not lame like the other guys."

    "I'm being punished for being an intellectual, they don't teach cheesy movie quotes at Princeton. Seeing how bad Kaitlyn is at being the bachelorette...I'm destined to be the bachelor and destined to find love on this show. Oh man,...I need to have some sex."



    Sorry Ian, but it shall be Kaitlyn who is having the sex, for this is our long-awaited #Sexpisode! The foreshadowing as to who will be coitusing with our bachelorette was coming fast and furious last night, as it's Nick who wisely beelines it to a pretty shaken-up Kaitlyn, hightailing his stupid bow tie upstairs for a well-timed makeout. I'd also like to take this moment to say that women can like "dumb movie quotes and poop jokes" and be deep, and then ask that we never again have to talk about the apparently never-ending Dumb and Dumber monologues that are on loop at the mansion.  

    Shawn makes his move a couple minutes too late, and we might as well refer to him as Bob the Builder this episode for all his talk of walls coming up and down -- let's hope they're just drywall, because that's a lot of emotional construction. He does have a fair point (again, please remember that I'm a Shawn apologist) since she did tell him she was falling in love with him, but then again he's also on a GROUP DATING SHOW -- none of this should be surprising.

    The rose ceremonies have felt besides the point all season, and we say goodbye to Joshua (snitches never win) and Jonathan-- have fun in paradise boys! We get a good, honest, true soundbite from Kaitlyn regarding intimacy ("[It's] an important part of a relationship...this is forever, and part of that is intimacy, and I'm not ashamed of it. If the physical part of the relationship isn't there for me that's a deal-breaker") and with that we're off to Dublin, Ireland.

    Chris the dentist definitely had to whiten some producer's teeth to score that sweet "Kaitlyn is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow" analogy, but the one-on-one date goes to Nick, and Shawn's emotional wall count is definitely in the high teens at this news. Before we grasp our pearls at the idea of Kaitlyn having sex with a guy she's been seeing for only a couple weeks, we get a glimpse of Britt and Brady-- what's the over/under on her immaculately conceiving before After the Final Rose? Anyway, she's introducing him to her mom and wearing a beanie in L.A., where no one knows how to wear hats.

    Can I say something mean about Nick? Of course I can! Nick permanently looks like he got caught smelling one of his farts and secretly likes it. Anyway, the day portion of their date goes well and they clearly have a lot of chemistry -- "the physical connection is rock solid," says Nick -- but that's not what we want to talk about. Let's visit the bone zone, shall we?

    Their intimate dinner is set in a church because of Irish guilt, and they are feeling it. I think the younger version of John Lithgow is a creep but he's clearly got something going on. "Nick makes me feel like a woman. A desired woman," Kaitlyn gushes which is certainly something someone would wish for after being told that she is surface level and basic -- from a Deerfield and Princeton graduate, no less!

    Hats off to the editing for this episode, because cuts of Jared and Shawn debating the merits of putting up plywood vs. plaster emotional walls are interspliced with images of Kaitlyn and Nick heavy petting on her hotel room couch. We learn that Shawn hasn't even deigned to have even one conversation with Nick, which must be pretty hard when you think about it-- dudes be having down time. "I hope they're having a shit time," mutters sweet Jared as the room to Kaitlyn's bedroom shuts.

    Nick is the kind of person who whispers "I want to know every part of you" while giving someone the business, so know that. The producers/sound people/editors manage to make everyone feel the kind of creepy you feel when you listen to someone else having sex, and we're treated to some moaning and whispering that made me wish for simpler times, when we were just listening to Joe Millionaire get a slurpy BJ in the bushes. So that's it! She wanted to have sex with someone and so she did it. I, for one, am not shocked.



    The next morning as we watch the bees buzz and the birds sing (no, really) and Kaitlyn realizes that sleeping with a guy whose track record on slut-shaming someone on national television is a strong 1-0 could potentially be a bad idea ("I feel like that would ruin everything if he says anything" she intones), and we see her shame-spiraling on the balcony and asking the producers if this has even happened before. "I don't want it to be an issue," she says. "Waking up in the morning I definitely am feeling guilt. I don't feel guilty about the act; it's guilt for caring about other relationships that I have."



    Well, that makes sense. Kaitlyn Bristowe, you have a healthy, normal attitude towards sex. That must be very weird for you on this show. In talking with JJ and Joe (who are going on the two-on-one, by the way) Nick can barely contain his glee as he "nonchalantly" tells them she invited him back to his room and it was both casual and intimate. Huge shout-out to Joe, who is really more and more of a sleeper hit as this show goes on, who hits him right back with "the same thing happened to Shawn -- he got to spend some extra time with her too." We later find out from Shawn that they apparently spent "six to seven hours" just sitting up and talking off-camera, at which point she told him he's her guy, which (if true) would explain all the heavy construction going up and down near his femoral arteries.

    Off to the group date! After having sex with a man she's dating, Kaitlyn has unfortunately died. That's right! Patti Stanger would be pleased, because sex before monogamy is truly the ultimate sin. No but really, we're off to an Irish wake for Kaitlyn, because this show is all about female power and strength, and all the guys have to express their bereavement over her chastity, I mean life. Ben Z. asks to pay his respects to Kaitlyn alone because his mother died and he's, um, had to do this before. Sensitive! Ben Z. is such a tall, boring drink of water and Kaitlyn calls him a "teddy bear," which no woman has ever truly said of a man she's passionate about.



    I've made some jokes about Jared and his destined-to-be-patchy facial hair here before, but he seems like a genuinely nice person. He is the kind of guy who would go out of his way to make someone feel comfortable when they don't know anyone else at the party, and that is a true compliment. "I feel really comfortable with Jared, and it felt really nice to be standing there hugging him," Kaitlyn says.

    Shawn B. must have had Mr. Gorbachev tear down his walls, because he uses his time with Kaitlyn to show her pictures of his family, which was smart -- see? People love him. He uses the word 'confident' three times in one sentence, however, Jared still gets the rose. They're off to listen to none other than the Cranberries, and the song they play does (or will) perfectly embody their relationship: "You've got me wrapped around your finger/do you have to let it linger." Poor Jared. He's going to be a limo cryer.



    After telling the other guys he loves Kaitlyn, Shawn runs off to his favorite producer, telling him he "trusts him more than anyone else here." Apparently Kaitlyn told him that he's the one and he's disgusted with the idea of her "banging a couple other dudes" in the fantasy suite, just like he would were he the bachelor. "Trust to me is the biggest thing ever," he says. "I'm about to cry right now."

    Instead he got produced, because he's off to surprise Kaitlyn in her room. Now, this is a true surprise, because girlfriend took out her extensions and is stuffing food in her mouth when he arrives. By participating on this show in which she is paid to appear Kaitlyn is apparently "ruining it all," and she doesn't know Shawn is just salty about Jared getting a rose not, you know, the other thing. If you thought we'd only get one #sexpisode you've never watched the show, so get ready for lots more tears and regret.

    Need a little madonna to your whore? Why, it's Britt and Brady! They just got finished putting away all the shopping carts at their local co-op after their shift, and upon meeting him Britt's mom says that her "friend" seems very nice. Yawn.



    Until next week!

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    photo by Daria Marchik

    Praise Peaches Christ, cause we've finally got a new album on the way.

    Her first album since 2009's I Feel Cream, the multidisciplinary provocateur has been keeping busy with a biographical rock opera, a one-woman redo of Jesus Christ Superstar, and apparently recording her latest -- dubbed Rub (which, bonus, also includes guests from the likes of Feist and Kim Gordon). Already overloaded/inundated with orgasmic joy? Well hold onto your panties, cause she's also given us tour dates, a photobook announcement (What Else is in the Teaches of Peaches) and a bombastic new video starring UK aerialist Empress Stah.

    Stargasms! Such beauty coming out of her ass! Lasers shooting out of Empress Stah's butt plug! This shit is insane, so just be wary of watching the self-directed video for "Light in Places" on your lunchbreak. 



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    It's obvious from first glance that Doom Generation maestro Gregg Araki had a hand in Kenzo's AW15 campaign film -- after all, it does start with a #Snackwave couple making out through a Big Mac (my actual fantasy). 

    Titled "Now Here" (lol, we c u Nowhere-era Araki), Kenzo's latest campaign film evokes the B movie-inspired, pseudo-surreal feel of the cult director's famed Teenage Apocalypse Trilogy. And for a fashion film, it's definitely an unexpected 30-second spot, all gritty shots and snippets of nihilist dialogue so intriguing that we can maybe forgive the dumb French subtitles for a sec. Watch the campaign stars get freaky/pray/philosophize in true Araki splat-style below.


    h/ti-D

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    seinfeldapt4.jpgInside the Apartment

    Once you get past the fact that it's in the Meatpacking District and not the Upper West Side, the Seinfeld Apartment, an impressively faithful recreation of Jerry's flat in honor of the series' streaming on Hulu, is awesome. Inside the massive studio space on 14th St. you'll find two sections: the apartment and a memorabilia museum with such items as Jerry's Superman doll, Puddy's New Jersey Devils jersey, the couch where George shot his "boudoir photos," the infamous Pez dispenser and more. The apartment itself has got everything from Jerry's cereal collection to his Newark airport taxi information flyer on the fridge. You can also look through Kramer's "reverse peephole" (we won't spoil the surprise about what you see).

    At a press preview today, two very special guests were in attendance: David Puddy himself (aka Patrick Warburton) and...the Soup Nazi (aka Larry Thomas)! "I had NO idea I was doing anything that anyone would remember for any reason," Thomas told us when asked about whether he had any inkling that his character would become so beloved. He went on to say that before he auditioned for the part, there was very little description of what the role would turn into. All the casting notice said was that "he's called the 'Soup Nazi'" and they wanted a Middle Eastern accent," Thomas told us. "So I put together the Middle Eastern accent from Omar Sharif in Lawrence of Arabia and then had to think of the idea of a 'Soup Nazi' being some very militant food vendor in New York, which is where I'm from so I know all about New York impatience... I went into the audition in an army uniform and a beret, which was actually my ex-wife's. She's an actress and it was actually her idea to put a beret on my head and make me look like Saddam Hussein."

    Screen Shot 2015-06-23 at 1.20.49 PM.pngThe Soup Nazi (aka Larry Thomas)

    Screen Shot 2015-06-23 at 1.20.32 PM.pngPuddy (aka Patrick Warburton)

    As for Warburton, he too put a unique spin on a role that initially had very little description. "Puddy was supposed to be this character who was Jerry's mechanic and would be in one episode -- he stole Jerry's [sexual] move and used it on Elaine. He was just a means to an end [to advance the plot]. I remember going into the audition and a lot of the guys were more 'New York guys' like 'Tonys' or 'Vinnys' but that's not me. I'm a kid from Huntington Beach, CA so I had to go with a different angle." He continued, "So when there were lines like, 'Yeah, that's right,' I just decided to go, 'Yeah. That's right.' There's something missing. He's communicating but almost like a robot. There's a screw loose with that guy. That was the direction I went in and it seemed to appeal to Jerry [Seinfeld] and Larry [David], which I was very thankful that it did. Then they got inspired for further episodes. 'Let's take this dimwit and do some other things with him.'"

    Both actors mentioned that they still frequently get recognized for their famous roles. "I get recognized more often in-between LA and New York," Thomas said. "On the coasts, people know I'm an actor but the closer you get to the middle of the country, it's like 'Oh my god, it's the Soup Nazi!' as if I walked right out of the TV." And even though it's immediately apparent just how different each actor is from his character -- and a testament to each man's theatrical skill -- there are some similarities that each share with his role. For Warburton, an episode that hit close to home was "The Burning," in which Elaine discovers that Puddy's a religious Christian who thinks she's going to hell. "That was something I could sort of relate to," he told us. "My parents are crazy religious people...My mother wanted me to convert Jerry. She actually was at my house one day and had a videotape and told me, 'I have a videotape that's converted a lot of my Jewish friends. If you're going to work with them, I'd love you to give the tape to Jerry.' She's crazy. I love my momma but she's crazy."

    The apartment officially opens tomorrow but it's unlikely Puddy and the Soup Nazi will still be chilling inside -- not that there's anything wrong with that.

    See more photos, below:

    seinfeldapt5.jpgseinfeldapt3.jpgseinfeldapt2.jpgScreen Shot 2015-06-23 at 1.24.34 PM.pngHulu Presents Seinfeld: The Apartment Fan Experience is located at 451 W. 14th St and will be open from 11am-7pm from Wednesday, June 24 through Sunday, June 28th. Seinfeld begins streaming on Hulu tomorrow.


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    James Murphy1.jpgWhy is James Murphy investing so much time trying to "fix" the sounds New York subway turnstiles make? For years, the former LCD Soundsystem frontman has been interested in making the admittedly harsh beeping of the New York subway into something a little more pleasant. The project now has corporate sponsorship, in the form of Heineken, who helped make this video explaining its merits.



    But as of last week, the project appeared in serious jeopardy --  citing the MTA's Adam Lisberg, Gothamist reported that Murphy and Heineken's Subway Symphony team had to admit they would not succeed in changing the policy in order to be able to film on the subway for the video. If Subway Symphony had to admit defeat in order to shoot its announcement video, what was the point?

    Murphy disputes this account: "They didn't call us," he says when asked about the story. "We certainly didn't agree to acknowledge that they wouldn't do it." (Gothamist has yet to acknowledge his disputation.) He says it's the result of a miscommunication between different parts of the MTA. "We have not been able to have a sit-down meeting them, which, fair enough -- they have real things to do."

    I tell him that it sounds like he's just going up against a Byzantine, bureaucratic, Kafkaesque organization. He shrugs. "Yeah."

    But that isn't stopping him. The project is now aimed at having interest be sufficiently high when the MTA changes the turnstiles from swipes to taps that the new sound can be slipped in at minimal cost. "They have to go in and design something new," he reiterates. "They're going to change the turnstile."

    Here, and in other moments, Murphy has the air of protesting a bit too much -- "there's no way that anyone in their right mind would mess with the turnstiles just to do this," he tells me, seeming painfully aware of the way Subway Symphony sounds to the rest of the world. Throughout our conversation, he repeats the minimal level of work involved. "They just have to let us in," he says. "We could do a bake sale."

    Still, his commitment is sincere, and it's something he appears to be willing to invest even more time in. "I think it's a good idea, and until I hear a problem that logically makes me feel like, okay, this shouldn't happen, or maybe it wouldn't work, then I don't like good visions, or good ideas, failing just because there's not a will for it."

    So what would this project actually sound like? He leaps up to show me, swiping a MetroCard through the turnstiles Heineken has constructed as prototypes in Chelsea's Milk Studios, where the interview is conducted. "It's just a simple tone, a pleasant little sine wave." And that's not even the final version. "I think the people composing what's at what station should be a bunch of New York artists, and musicians, and maybe a class at a school with a music program," he says. "I think it'd be better if it's a group effort -- it'd feel more like a community project."

    He's jumping over a lot of hurdles (or turnstiles) to make this project seem feasible -- whether or not it is, there's clearly an endpoint he's deeply invested in.  What's the final sound going to be like at his own home subway station, if Murphy gets his way? "Something beautiful and simple."

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    While we saw many collections that we liked during Pitti Uomo, one of our favorites had to be Milan Vukmirovic's show for Ports 1961. As a designer Vukmirovic first came to international attention as co-founder of the legendary Paris boutique Colette and of the Webster in Miami. From 2001-2003 he was also creative director of Jil Sander. Recently he's been more well known as a photographer/ founder of Fashion for Men magazine and an instagram superstar, often seen tan and shirtless.

    He showed his first collection for Ports 1961 in January of this year and presented his Spring 2016 at the Piazza Ognisanti. The line accomplished the difficult task of feeling hyper-masculine and high-fashion -- it's not fussy or camp but gives a lot of design bang for the buck. The silhouettes are for buff guys, which makes sense as Vukmirovic is a bit of bodybuilder himself. We particularly loved the denim and the jackets with blocks of color. A fun twist was casting several hunky fashion editors in the show: La Repubblica's Simone Marchetti, Details'Eugene Tong and stylist/consultant Nick Wooster. We can't say it enough -- we loved this show. Some of our favorite looks, below:

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    Photos via pittimmagine.com

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