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- 01/24/14--13:00: _Sydney Four-Piece T...
- 01/24/14--13:15: _Artist Steve Powers...
- 01/24/14--15:00: _The Best, Worst and...
- 01/27/14--05:15: _Morning Funnies: Gr...
- 01/27/14--10:00: _Ten Thoughts On Gir...
- 01/27/14--10:30: _We Wanna Hang Out W...
- 01/27/14--11:30: _Music Video Premier...
- 01/27/14--13:55: _Grammy Snub Spectac...
- 01/28/14--06:30: _Remember That Time ...
- 01/28/14--09:17: _Minton's Banks Whit...
- 01/28/14--10:30: _Adam Scott and Paul...
- 01/28/14--13:30: _Top 10 New UK Music...
- 01/28/14--15:00: _Angel Haze Covers B...
- 01/28/14--15:30: _10 Observations On ...
- 01/29/14--06:30: _Papa Joe Biden's SO...
- 01/29/14--08:45: _Starring Iggy Azale...
- 01/29/14--10:45: _Portlandia's Fred a...
- 01/29/14--12:30: _On Not Cooking at H...
- 01/29/14--12:50: _Get Excited: Courtn...
- 01/29/14--13:45: _Watch FKA Twigs Per...
- 01/24/14--13:15: Artist Steve Powers Sends Love Notes to Cities
- 01/24/14--15:00: The Best, Worst and Weirdest of the Week
- 01/27/14--05:15: Morning Funnies: Grammys Edition
- 01/27/14--10:00: Ten Thoughts On Girls' Latest Episode: "Dead Inside"
- 01/27/14--11:30: Music Video Premiere! Architecture In Helsinki
- 01/27/14--13:55: Grammy Snub Spectacular: Kendrick Lamar Edition
- 01/28/14--09:17: Minton's Banks White On the Best Sushi in Harlem
- 01/28/14--13:30: Top 10 New UK Music Acts
- 01/28/14--15:00: Angel Haze Covers Beyoncé's "Drunk In Love" -- Nails It
- 01/29/14--06:30: Papa Joe Biden's SOTU Smile-and-Point was EVERYTHING
- 01/29/14--10:45: Portlandia's Fred and Carrie Have a Prairie Home Companion Tailgate
- 01/29/14--12:30: On Not Cooking at Home With Photog/Filmmaker Cheryl Dunn
- 01/29/14--12:50: Get Excited: Courtney Love's Launching a YouTube Channel
- 01/29/14--13:45: Watch FKA Twigs Perform "Hide" In a Mayan Ruin
What is it about Australia that makes us so cuckoo for cliché? In honor of Australia Day this Sunday, let's all agree not to utter the stereotypical Aussie salutation or throw any small crustaceans on any portable grills; instead, let's enjoy this lean cover of "Don't Stop Believin'" by the Jezabels, a Sydney four-piece whose second album, The Brink, comes out next month. Singer Hayley Mary nails the high notes, guitarist Samuel Lockwood faithfully executes that shredding guitar fade-in and the band generally highlights the karaoke casualty's strengths, thereby revealing their own.
Best Book Trailer of the Week: BJ Novak's for his book of short stories, One More Thing. James Franco has put us all through a lot when it comes to dealing with an actor-turned-Serious Fiction Author but Novak's trailer is helping to heal the hurt. The trailer features a cameo from a Sartre-quoting Mindy Kaling and a very high-brow "that's what she said" callback -- it's hilarious. -- Gabby Bess
Most Accurate Reflection of Modern Dating: Is it a date? Or hanging out? USA Today's survey says what we were all thinking. Modern dating, errr hanging out...dating? hanging out? Modern getting laid and/or finding the one or just a friend is an ambiguous mess. -- Maggie Dolan
Best Movie Parody of the Week: This one that reimagines Her as Him featuring the voice of "Seth Rogen." Brilliant. And we would totally watch that. -- Abby Schreiber
Thing This Week That Made Us Most Nervous: Justin Bieber comparing himself to Michael Jackson post molestation trial victory on Instagram. And so it begins. See you on the step and repeat for an "energy water" launch in Scottsdale 3 years from now, buddy. -- Elizabeth Thompson
Best Canadian of the Week: Mac Demarco took the decidedly more low-key approach to winning Best Canadian of the Week over runner-up Justin Bieber with his lounge-y new track, "Passing Out Pieces" from his upcoming album, Salad Days. -- G.B.
Most Fascinating (Probable) Murder Mystery: This story about a Belgian man who passed away under suspicious circumstances earlier this week and was known for dining at over 100 fancy restaurants without ever paying the bill. -- A.S.
Best Weekend-Ready Mash Up: Disclosure and Mary J. Blige's "F For You." Can't stop dancing. -- M.D.
Dumbest Piece of Shit Asshole of the Week: George Zimmerman. He has a way sweet, way plagiarized, painting for sale on eBay, depicting the lawyer who prosecuted him. -- E.T.
Craziest Cool Moment at the Couture Shows: Sneakers! At Chanel! Couture! With every single outfit! Karl's crazy...and we love it. -- M.D.
Best Fake Trailer of the Week: This genius one spoofing standard issue Sundance movies. Spinning and twirling. Walking hand in hand with a child. Whisperings in a foreign tongue. It' all spot on. -- E.T.
Best (Worst?) Magazine Cover of the Week: The Times Magazine's cover with Hillary Clinton's face on the moon. It's giving us the heebie-jeebies. -- A.S.
Beyonce performed "Drunk in Love" on a chair and it was SO HOT. Her butt touched the face of god last night, folks. [Buzzfeed]
Beyonce's butt. BEYONCE'S BUTT. [Stereogum]
Pharrell wore a giant hat and everyone freaked out. Reminded us of his giant purple Birkin. He's always had a thing for over-sized accessories. [DailyDot]
Adopt us. Please. [DailyDot]
The T. Swift head bang heard 'round the world. [DailyDot]
Here's Taylor Swift dancing to Kendrick Lamar while everyone around her clenched their jaws and stared straight ahead. [Buzzfeed]
Meanwhile, Yoko Ono's dance moves last night were THE BEST. Yoko, please dance forever like this on a cloud hovering over a pasture of dandelions and bunnies. Thank you.
This pretty much made us pee our pants. [Via @JeanetteHayes]
Wiz Khalifa wins best answer for stupidest red carpet interview question of the night. [Buzzfeed]
But I think we know who the real stars of the red carpet were. [Buzzfeed]
Taylor Swift's Red and Daft Punk's Random Access Memories share a beginning letter, and that's a bitch when they're announcing best album. [Stereogum]
Aww, Daft Punk. [Mike Hayes]
This week, the characters process DEATH. Below, ten highlights from the latest episode.
1. Hannah still can't think outside of herself...even in matters of life and death
Watching Hannah react to her editor David's death was a little wrenching. By now, we know to expect that Hannah will relate every situation back to herself and her own wants/needs but her inability to even pretend that she wasn't thinking about what would happen to her e-book now that David is gone was really grating. Since the beginning of the show, Hannah's lacked for self-awareness but her conversation with Adam bordered on the unbearable, which speaking of...
2. It was refreshing to see Adam voice what we all were thinking
We haven't found too many situations in which we're in total alignment with Adam's thoughts or emotions so it was an unexpected change to watch him do something we (and probably most of the audience) wanted to do: call Hannah out for her callousness toward David's death. Beyond that, it was also interesting to see Adam start to appraise Hannah's character. Most of the time, we only see the two of them evaluating one another's behavior within their relationship whereas this episode showed Adam and Hannah stepping outside of it and considering the other person as a complex, fully-formed individual outside of the couple. Looks like they're becoming more and more capable of having a stable, adult relationship. Good job.
3. Marnie continues to be in self-improvement mode
Last week, we commented on how Marnie seems to be trying (in her own Type A way) to move on from her break-up with Charlie and this week we see her continuing her "self-improvement journey." She jogs through Chinatown (which seems like a horrible idea considering its insane congestion), makes gross-looking smoothies with coconut water and even listens to self-help podcasts. She's doing everything she's supposed to be doing to feel better but we don't yet know if all of this self-help is actually scratching deeper than the surface.
4. We're sick of Shosh's character development being sacrificed for punchlines
Since the beginning of this season, we've talked about our frustration with Shosh's continuing lack of depth and in this episode we almost (almost!) got to see a more thoughtful, emotional side to her when she told Jessa about the death of a high school friend in a car accident. But then she fucks up the moment by adding that the death allowed her to "take over [her friend's] position in their friend group." Shosh's obtuseness has become one-note and seems like it's even more pronounced this season than in the first two. It'll be interesting to see whether this is all just a set up for some major emotional development later on or whether she'll remain the Kramer of the foursome.
5. We loved Tender Adam
Despite his history of douchebaggery, this season has shown that Adam has surprising emotional depth. When he told Hannah, "if you died, the world would blur. I wouldn't know what a tree was," our cold, bitchy hearts just about melted.
6. Marnie's "fancy people" diatribe was so annoying
Ugh, ugh, ugh. Several of the characters on this show have defense mechanisms they use again and again to boost their confidence or to compensate for their insecurities: Hannah has her writing, Jessa has her experience and Marnie has her credentials. When she catches Ray and Hermie watching her awful music video and having a laugh at her expense, she tenses up, quits her job, and -- in an effort to regain some of her "dignity" -- explains that she's really meant to be working for "fancy people." Because Marnie comes from means, went to a fancy college and previously worked for an art gallery, she thinks she's too "good" to work a service job. It's exactly the sort of entitled behavior that people criticize Millennials for having and it indicates that despite all of her self-improvement efforts, Marnie still has an inflated sense of self and has a lot more Tony Robbins reading to do.
7. Hannah has unexpected insight into herself
Though she's unable to feel empathy or grief toward David, Hannah at least shows some self-awareness during her cemetery romp with Caroline and Laird. She finally realizes that her emotional vacuity is problematic and could potentially cost her her relationship with Adam, who seems to feel things more fully. This kind of mature reflection kind of caught us off-guard...in a good way.
8. Cute couple alert! Caroline and Laird?
Okay, this is basically just wishful thinking along the lines of wanting Ray and Amy Schumer's character to get it on but...didn't you get a few vibes from those two uniquely expressive weirdos? If pretending to drink someone's dead turtle out of a Pom bottle isn't a sign of flirting, we don't know what is.
9. We're starting to like Jessa less and less
For the last two seasons, we've always liked Jessa despite her impulsiveness and flaky behavior. She struck us as someone who, despite her outward actions, seemed to have greater emotional maturity than the other characters. But these last few episodes have shown Jessa in a dark place and it's still unclear what will help her get out. The whole episode this week revolved around death and each of the characters' different ways of processing it. Hannah, who tells us she's never experienced death before, seems incapable of feeling anything. Shosh seems to have been upset by her high school friend's death but not so much that she wasn't able to appreciate her newfound social status. Jessa, meanwhile, is hardened towards death. Until she learns one of her best friend's faked hers. One of the first times this season we see Jessa abandon her flippancy is when she realizes that her best friend, Season, did not actually die "by choking on her own vomit or something like that" but is actually very much alive and living with a cute husband and cute kid in a Fort Greene brownstone. Jessa experiences pain and confusion over this betrayal but ultimately isn't able to take ownership over her own actions that led her friend to pull such a crazy stunt. We feel for Jessa during this scene up until the point in which she decides to once again to mask her discomfort with a dramatic display and leaves in a huff. As one final dig, she tells Season that of her new life "none of this is going to work out for you, by the way."
10. Was Hannah's grief actually real? Was the Margaret story actually real?
At the end of the episode, we finally get to see Hannah process grief like a "normal person" (or at least stop for a second and give a damn about David and not just the future of her e-book) but we're left wondering whether her feelings are genuine or just a show for Adam because she's afraid of losing him once he's fully aware of their emotional incompatibility. As part of the display, she repurposes Caroline's fake story about Adam caring for a sick cousin as her own but, as Adam reacts, we're left wondering if maybe -- just maybe -- Caroline didn't make the story up after all.
Best Lines of the Episode:
"Excuse me, I was just wondering...I just wanted to know if it was safe to be on this floor of the building." -- Hannah
"I just hope when I die that I don't see it's coming. I hope I'm already dead and then five minutes later, I'm like, "What the fuck just happened?" -- Hannah
"When you die, how would you feel if a bunch of judgmental creeps, celibate against their will, snarkily reported on every fucking detail of your body decomposing." -- Adam
"I feel like my bandana collection is my most developed collection." -- Shosh
"I think all the time about what I'd say at your funeral, about how I'd say you were my partner, you were my lover, and how one summer you lived on that tent on a roof in Bed-Stuy and drank rain water." -- Hannah
"Hannah, why don't you place one crumb of basic human compassion on this fat-free muffin of sociopathic detachment. See how it tastes." -- Ray
"Will you join us, odd face?" -- Caroline to Laird
"Mine was Nickel the Pickle." -- Laird
Agree or disagree with our recap? Leave your thoughts/feelings/emotions in the comments, below
St. Vincent shows off her mind-boggling soccer skills and tells us how to "befuddle the defender." [via Rookie]
Snoop Dogg's Australian hotel room was so smoky (you can guess why) that the fire alarm was set off and a bunch of hunky firefighters had to be called to the scene. [via DListed]
Todd Goldstein, of the Brooklyn band ARMS, made a video about meeting the guy who did the voices for Mortal Kombat. In a techno club. [via YouTube]
The singer of Slipknot -- who's also a bestselling author (who knew?) -- reviews the new Silver Mt. Zion Memorial Orchestra album. [via The Talkhouse]
50 Cent and Meryl Streep (and Kobe) hanging out at a Knicks game. That is all. [via Gawker]
J. Crew head honcho Mickey Drexler will be talking fashion and mass-marketing at the New School tonight with Parsons professor, architecture critic and Vanity Fair contributing editor, Paul Goldberger. [via Flavorpill]
Have you been to Art Spiegelman's show at the Jewish Museum yet? Fans of Maus and the man's button-pushing New Yorker covers should make haste. [via Jewish Museum]
The New York Historical Society is mounting an exhibition of Bill Cunningham's vintage fashion photos shot between 1968-1976 in which he dressed models up in historical costumes and had them pose in front of New York buildings from corresponding architectural periods. [via Flavorwire]
Are you following the post-Grammy indignation-fest? Getting bored of everyone ragging on Macklemore? Rather than read another fifty hate-tweets, why not think back on why so many people (including Macklemore himself!) are so upset about The Heist winning over Kendrick Lamar's Good Kid, M.A.A.D City. You've probably just seen Lamar's performance with Imagine Dragons (it looked and sounded like my laptop was melting) so circle back to the menacing and insanely hooky "Swimming Pools (Drank)." And let the healing begin.
"Dishwasher safe and ready to rock." [via Knusprig Titten Hitler]
Awww Papa Joe, don't make me blush! [via Rats Off!]
Here's a great map of state stereotypes based on the most common Google autocomplete search results. Why IS Pennsylvania so haunted? [via HuffPo]
Spot-on celebrity equations. [via Tastefully Offensive]
Tuesday is brought to you by Santa on vacation in Key West. [via Coin Farts]
Each week in our Chefs Off Duty series, we talk to some of our
favorite chefs and industry folk around the country to find out their
secret late-night spots where they like to grab a bite and a pint when
their kitchens are finally closed. Next up: Banks White, Chef de Cuisine of Low Country restaurant-meets-Harlem jazz club, Minton's.
Where do you like to go grab a bite after you're leaving Minton's?
I am a West Coast transplant coming from California and I live in Harlem now. I really like Jado Sushi off of Frederick Douglass Blvd -- for sushi in Harlem, that's gonna be your best bet. I think it was probably [Minton's] General Manager and Chef JJ, who's the Chef de Cuisine at The Cecil, who told me about it. It's some of the best sushi I've had since coming out here.
What are your favorite things to get at Jado?
I love their uni and eel and they also have a really great hamachi. What's impressive is the quality of the seafood. Their chicken teriyaki is also really, really good - it has this teriyaki glaze and garlic chips on it.
The Jado chicken would be another one of my favorites. It's fried chicken that has this spicy garlic sauce and togarashi mayo. It's really nice and spicy and so good.
Do you have any fun anecdotes from recent nights at Jado?
I think when I first went it was with a couple industry folk and we went during the best time to go -- late at night. We pretty much ordered the entire menu. There was a lot of great sake, a lot of great sushi. We ate our way through it all. That's the best time or experience you can have, when you're with industry people who understand the hospitality industry and can understand good food.
Jado Sushi, 2118 Frederick Douglass Blvd, New York; Open Sun-Thurs, 5pm-10:30pm, Fri-Sat, 5pm-11:30pm
More From Our Off Duty Series
"Shot-for-shot" is a gross understatement -- Adult Swim's recreation of the Bosom Buddies opening credits puts Gus Van Sant's Psycho remake to shame. Plus, you have Paul Rudd and Adam Scott in drag. Watch the clip, plus its superfluous making-of featurette. [via YouTube]
"LORDE WITHOUT AUTOTUNE": Like so many of the "shreds" videos, this one is puerile, misleading and unfair to a genuine artist. And I can't stop laughing. [via YouTube]
Jonathan Banks, who played Breaking Bad's soulful tough Mike Ehrmantraut (and scored high in our round-up last year), has joined Bob Odenkirk in the cast of the BB spinoff Better Call Saul. [via Deadline]
Online gallery 98Bowery.com has an exhibit of posters by feminist art world activists, Guerrilla Girls, pasted throughout NYC since 1985 to protest the dearth of female artists in galleries, reviews, and museums. You can scope more posters from the exhibit over at Flavorwire.
Need more bleakness in your day? Wondering if "bleakness" is even a word? Check out this Tumblr dedicated to defunct Pizza Huts and decide for yourself.
If you're looking for a fascinating science-y read today, check out this tory on "The Sloth's Busy Inner Life." [via New York Times]
The Suzan, a band of fierce ladies who moved here from Tokyo a few years ago, bring their wide-ranging but uniformly joyful sound to Mercury Lounge tonight. [via Mercury Lounge]
Open the pod bay doors, Hal. Report on the Construction of a Spaceship Module, which "transform[s] the Fifth Floor gallery of the New Museum into the simulated interior of a spaceship," opened last week. [via New Museum]
Iconic sportswear brand Starter has a new pop-up in the Paramount Hotel (235 W. 46th St., New York) where you can find satin athletic jackets, hats and a capsule collection by Dee and Ricky. We also hear they're having a Super Bowl viewing party on Sunday.
From a Tumblr-y soul singer to a Dublin MC rapping about Tanzanian albinos, here are the ten most exciting UK music acts you need to know in 2014.
1. Krept & Konan
The South London pair began rapping together in 2009 and, two years later, saw their version of Watch the Throne's "Otis" explode on YouTube, getting five million views in only five days. Fast forward to 2013 and the duo's much-anticipated mixtape, Young Kingz, broke into the Top 20 in the UK album charts, they won a MOBO Award for Best Newcomer and signed a huge deal with Virgin/EMI. Keep your eye on these two.
2. Etta Bond
The self-described "Soul with a bit of Weird" artist Etta Bond mixes expressive vocals with rave-y productions (often by her producer-slash-partner in crime, Raf Riley), and first caught the eyes of music bloggers back in 2012 with her track, "Boring Bitches" (and its cuckoo music video that combines visuals as random as a Tumblr k-hole with static-y VHS-style graphics). Since then, she's followed up with her 2013 EP, MEDS, whose highlights include songs like "Supposed To Say Goodbye" and "Big Girls Vogue", the latter being a superbly constructed and delivered "F You" to today's image-obsessed culture.
At only 19-years-old, singer, songwriter, and producer MNEK (a.k.a. Uzoechi Osisioma Emenike) has already spent five years in the music biz, working with acts like The Saturdays (he wrote and produced their track "All Fired Up"); A*M*E (he co-wrote her track with Duke Dumont "Need U (100%)" for which he earned a Grammy nomination); and Little Mix (he helped produce their single "Wings"). But it was in 2012 that he really started to break out, after singing on Rudimental's hit, "Spoons." Currently he can be heard on Gorgon City's "Ready For Your Love" and pretty soon he'll graduate from being a name on production credits to becoming a bona fide solo act -- he's working on a debut album that's slated to come out later this year.
4. Rejjie Snow
This rapper from the Emerald Isle first caught our attention with his video for "Lost In Empathy," which centered on the persecution of albinos in Tanzania. (Suffice to say, this isn't your average MC rapping about swag and blunts.) After getting signed to Elton John's Rocket Management, releasing a widely-praised EP, Rejovich, and opening for MF Doom and Kendrick Lamar, we can't wait to see what's in store for the Dublin MC in 2014.
5. Elli Ingram
With influences ranging from Jill Scott and Erykah Badu and covers of Kendrick Lamar and Chance the Rapper tracks garnering hundreds of thousands of listens, Elli Ingram leads the new wave of brass-heavy soul acts. (If you need further convincing, just check out her Felix Joseph-produced single, "Mad Love," off of her Sober EP.) Currently signed to Island Records, and with a new song out, "When It Was Dark," Ingram's poised to break out across the pond in 2014.
The Norwich via London rapper first made waves after winning MTV's Brand New For 2012 and has since been dubbed "the voice of middle England." With a laid-back flow and tales of inner-city nightlife Context continued to impress us with his freestyle track, "I'm Bitter." Here's hoping those rumors of an 8-track EP later this year are true.
7. Sam Smith
Probably the most familiar name on this list, Smith's silky vocals first came to our ears back in 2012 on Disclosure's "Latch," right before he was featured on UK producer Naughty Boy's No. 1 track, "La La La." However, it was the heart-wrenching "Nirvana" that confirmed his place on this list; understated and beautiful, it's a real triumph of a song with his emotive vocals taking center stage. And now with his newly-released debut single, "Money On My Mind," Smith's proven he's got the chops to break out on his own.
8. All About She
Consisting of producers Jon Clare and James Tadgell and vocalist Vanya Taylor, the Atlantic-signed trio have collaborated with Tinie Tempah, remixed for Daley and Jessie J, and worked with Dizzee Rascal -- all before their debut single, "Higher," reached No. 20 in the official UK Top 40 in December 2013. With folks like BBC Radio 1's Zane Lowe in their corner, the soul-infused electronic act is one to watch in 2014.
Kwabena Adjepong, better known as Kwabs, first came to prominence after he uploaded his cover of James Blake's "Wilhelm Scream" on YouTube back in 2012. Now signed to Atlantic Records, he's since released tracks like the beautifully crafted "Last Stand," produced by SOHN, and the piano-led "Perfect Ruin."
With over half a million followers on SoundCloud, the Vienna-via-London producer has worked with BANKS ("Waiting Game") and Kwabs ("Last Stand") and caught attention stateside with the release of his debut EP, The Wheel, this past fall. About to head out on a global tour this spring, you can catch him at Bowery Ballroom and Rough Trade on May 9 and May 10, respectively.
With additional reporting by Joseph 'JP' Patterson
Bold move, dropping a cover of this song the day after Mr. and Mrs. Carter's version caused 28.5 million viewers to quietly excuse themselves to the bathroom. But Angel Haze is nothing if not brave. In this clip, from a session with BBC presenter Trevor Nelson, Haze is tentative at first -- and then, six words in, she explodes. Her last verse gives Jay a run for his money, and the sneaky lyrical modification and sideways glance at 2:27 are priceless. Look for a full-on Haze feature in our spring issue!
1. Carey: Carlton's pool party was a grand, wet flu-dream. After the kiddies are sent away for the day, naked women descend on the Gebbia manor to get their bodies painted gold and silver so they can hold trays of tequila shots at the entrance of the house for guests. The Housewives arrive separately; Brandi and Lisa continue on their path to friendship oblivion as Brandi complains more about Lisa infantilizing her (let's pretend Brandi used the word infantilizing) after Lisa tells her again to go to the doctor about her hand. Brandi clanks away from her British superior with her ex-fake-model friends in tow. Ughhhhhhhhh Brandi. Ughhhh. Can someone just give Brandi a permanent pair of crutches? Kyle arrives and of course starts in on Carlton's witch shit. She sees the pentagram tattoo that Carlton got on the back of her neck and goes "IS THAT THE JEWISH STARRRRRRRRRUHHHHH?" Of course Carlton is like, "Are you fucking kidding me?" Kyle has been pushing how Jewish she is this season, so Carlton calls her out like, "Aren't you Jewish? Shouldn't you know?" Which is valid. Kyle of course, pretending to just be naiiiiiiive, says, "If anyone is offended, it should be ME," referring to how Carlton reacted when she asked if it was a Jewish star. KYLE IS OFFENDED. I wanted to leap through the TV, past these women, past the women pole dancing by the edge of the yard on the Cliffside and jump off it. Then Kyle gives Carlton some lame necklace she prob found in the trinkets bin at Forever 21 as a "peace offering" and Carlton, tipsy, is like, "That meant a lot to me." GOOD! GREAT!
2. Eli: Well, I think we can safely say that Fatburger has some advertising dollars invested in this season. I don't live in LA, so far be it for me to talk about what and what isn't normal, but I don't think Fatburger stands and food trucks are usually such a staple at these conventions of the skinny, besurgeried women of the City of Angels. In fact, if I had to guess, Fatburger probably paid a pretty penny for that scene in one of the last few episodes where Brandi sits on the steps with Carlton, picking at one of their burgers. However, when the burger ultimately made Brandi throw up, their PR department probably flipped a shit. And now there's a Fatburger stand at a party that seems to be focused heavily on nudity, which is pretty gross, honestly. Let's keep the hot food minimal around the pole dancers. Though I did once have a pretty excellent vegan burrito at a strip club in Portland.
3. Eli: Carlton's party also features what I assume to be a variety of aspiring actresses, painted up as Mexican Calaveras. They seem to be actively weighing the publicity benefit of the gig versus having people see them naked, their painted bodies acting as de facto party decorations.
4. Carey: THE AUTOGRAPH AND POP CULTURE EXPO was EVERY-THING. Ohhhhhhhhh my my my my my my. How wonderful was this???? Maybe too much, even. It was almost too much, Bravo producers. TOO MUCH. Kim goes to a convention where fans can meet stars of '70s and '80s TV shows and get shit signed by them. Kim says she's worried no one will show up, which of course is ridiculous. There's a line out the door for her, obviously, and she looks genuinely grateful and excited to see her array of fans ogle over her. I was happy for Kim. She needed this. She needs this. Daily. Anyway. One fan and her daughter, in strange, whimsical voices, give Kim a small turtle pin, and the goth teen daughter says, "We know you love turtles," with wide-eyes (referring to Kim's bizarre Twitter rants about her affection for turtles and use of the turtle emoticon). Kim starts to cry and talks about how important her fans are to her sobriety. Then this guy named Jimmy McNichol comes over and looms over Kim. He was a teen heartthrob during Kim's reign, and now looks like a cross between Skeet Ulrich and Chris Cooper, and has a missing tooth. They flirt awkwardly like middle schoolers, and talk about how they neeeeeeverrrrr dated and Kim says that one time during school (?) Jimmy walked over and grabbed her ass in the hallway. He sounds just like Kim. All of these child and teen stars are all the same. They are all forever 16.
5. Carey: Kyle also begins reminding us (aka beating it into our skulls) that she ALSO used to be an actor. She does a stint on Days of Our Lives as a talent agent, and has the most wonderfully terrifying and sad chat with soap veteran Deirdre Hall. "I just wanted to say hi!" Kyle says. Deirdre stands in the doorway of her dressing room, looking at Kyle like she is a wet dog. "I told the makeup people I need to look cuter than you," she says, and they both laugh and laugh, even though she was completely serious. "How long have you been on this show?" Kyle asks her. "36 years," Deirdre says, with the slightest bit of sadness. "That's...incredible," Kyle says, in genuine astonishment. "Yes...it is," Deirdre quickly responds. Oh, it was terrible.
6. Eli: While Kyle sits in the makeup room, she absentmindedly babbles about actor-y stuff, as she seems to think this is a behind-the-scenes featurette. She dispenses tidbits about actors (AHEM GEORGE CLOONEY) writing medical jargon on their hands on ER, along with other things she's probably realized she's never going to get to tell on a late-night talk show. To her right sits Karen, a make-up artist and decent ringer for Susan Sarandon, who just nods her head, occasionally checking her phone. You can see in Karen's eyes the reflection of herself, lying in a hammock in New Hampshire, reading trashy penny novels, where she so desperately wishes she were.
7. Carey: Meanwhile, back at the Fosters, David stands silently on the lemon terrace behind Yolanda, Joyce, Carlton, and Brandi while they paint stuff for Gigi's dorm room. He listens to them talk for a minute or two, not noticing him, and it really solidified my belief that David lurks on his neighbors' properties at night and looks in at them eating dinner, watching Diane Sawyer. Just strolling along the expansive Malibu yards around him, roaming the hills and cliffs with his hands in his pockets. Waiting, watching, standing, swaying, breathing heavily.
8. Eli: In a development that surprises no one, Carlton can't separate dreams from reality. While painting pentagrams for Gigi's wall, bringing her only inches away from the goth chick from your high school doodling Baphomet in her spiral notebook, she reveals she's had a DREAM. This dream, of course, included Kyle being mean to her. First of all: What a boring dream. These women's lives are so centered around boring confrontations that they dream of more boring confrontations. Also, what happens in a dream is far from proving anything in reality. I once had a dream where I was part of a freedom fighting cell made up of anthropomorphic animal soldiers fighting against an alien threat. I didn't wake up and call Homeland Security, I woke up and shoved that shit back in my deep subconscious, where it belongs.
9. Carey: Carlton puts an ACTUAL spell on Joyce's big-peened, Academy Award-winning German producer husband after Joyce stubbornly laughs off the idea of witchcraft and spells at Yolanda's paint party. "They don't work if you don't believe in them!" Joyce says smiling with clear fear and anxiety in her eyes. "Poor Joyce," Carlton says, "She's so naïve." Then there is this incredibly odd and genuinely creepy transition from the paint party to a shot of a full moon passing across the TV screen with Carlton's voiceover explaining "Whenever people dabble in something that's a negative energy, you always pay a price." The music is this creepy, VERY uncharacteristic take on the soundtrack from Rosemary's Baby, with xylophones and Gregorian chanting. Joyce confides in Kim the next day that after she doubted Carlton, her husband got violently ill later that night, and Joyce is convinced Carlton hexed her. The previews for the upcoming episode show Joyce and Kyle confronting Carlton about her witchcraft. "NO MORE SPELLS!" Joyce shouts. It's about to get Crucible up in here. I SAW GOODY CARLTON STANDING WITH THE DEVIL.
10. Eli: Out of curiosity, I clearly looked up some spells on that old witching standby, www.spellsofmagic.com, to try to find the one Carlton might have used. In doing so, I found this spell to "make a person sick":
Focus on the person for a moment and chant "you teased the sick so I shall repeal" three times. It's just that simple!!!As you all know, the sign of some powerful hoodoo is THREE exclamation points. However, even better than this "spell" is the description that's posted along with it:
This is a fairly simple spell (because it was the first successful spell I casted [sic]). I actually ment [sic] to cast it on a random person on my bus (out of boredome [sic]) and my sister wasin [sic] the way and the next day she was sick. Unfortunately I got sick a few days later due to karma but i had a health amulet so it wasn't as bad as her. Be careful though because it is black magic and it's powerful.Thank god for health amulets! If only s/he had a grammar amulet. (Grammulet?)
In case you missed the state of the union last night, this GIF has it all: Obama talkin'. Papa Joe, smilin'! Pointin'! Boehner ragin', in end-stages of final metamorphosis into a microwaved baseball mitt. The end. [Gawker]
Jimmy Kimmel's Lie Witness News team asked people what they thought of Obama's SOTU speech BEFORE it actually happened. They had a lot to say.
How do we own this? [Mlkshk]
Very important announcement about colors. Don't forget. [FYouNoFMe]
Cat V. Mailman. An epic battle of bloodsport. [Tastefullyoffensive]
It's not Thursday yet but here's a great throwback-inspired video starring an everything bagel's worth of random celebrities: Former Paper Cover Girl Iggy Azalea, Amber Rose, Ed Sheeran and Waka Flocka Flame re-enact the four-way telephone scene from Mean Girls. Amber = Gretchen Wieners, Iggy = Karen Smith, Ed = Cady Heron and, awesomely, Waka = Regina George. While the acting leaves a little to be desired, Waka smelling the baguette at the 0:53 mark is the best visual you'll see all day.
The clip comes from MTV's new show Retromania.
This new video combines Nigerian synth-pop pioneer William Onyeabor's "Fantastic Man" with roller skating moves straight outta the Central Park Bandshell. Nice. [via Nowness]Rutgers University is offering a class on Beyoncé. Is it too late to audit it? [via Jezebel]
And, while we're on the topic of Beyoncé, here's eight minutes of Beyoncé singing "Surfboart." Because the internet. [via OG Black Jesus]
Jack Nicholson took a selfie at last night's Lakers game, duck face and all. [via Complex]
Kendrick Lamar responds to Macklemore's Instagram comment on how Kendrick should have taken the win for 'Best Rap Album' at the Grammys, stating "It's well deserved; he did what he did, man... He went out there and hustled and grinded. Everything happens for a reason; the universe comes back around, that's how it go."
Tumblr artist Let There Be Doodles gave Disney princesses an unconventional makeover by transforming them into men. [via Flavorwire]
Put way too many birds on it! Hitchcock's The Birds plays at MoMA today through Friday. [via MoMA]
Locals Habibi celebrate the release of their first album at Baby's All Right tonight. According to the suddenly ubiquitous Burger Records, which dropped the album yesterday, the band "mixes garage rock melodies with Middle Eastern and dissonant sounds." [via Baby's All Right]
Three writers -- Susan Swimmer, Emily St. John Mandel and Lauren Cerand -- talk Coco Chanel and the book The Allure of Chanel tonight at the Strand. [via The Strand]
Queer experimental film platform Dirty Looks NYC celebrates their third anniversary at The Spectrum tonight with an evening of viewings of influential and groundbreaking video from 1990 to 2013 and a performance by Colin Self. [via Flavorpill]
There are certain people that walk into a room and immediately grab your attention. For me, Cheryl Dunn is one of those people. From the first time I saw her at Ninth Street Espresso with her thick black frames and her effortlessly sexy -- yet casual -- style, I knew this was a woman who had some stories behind her. A well-known documentary filmmaker and photographer who recently made the street photography documentary, Everybody Street, she crossed that big bridge (George Washington) from New Jersey to Manhattan 30 years ago and never looked back. I sat down with Cheryl in her studio in the Financial District, which she has had since the late 80's, to discuss her love of travel as well as recipes for people who REALLY can't cook.
Coq Au Vin
Ginger Marinated Kale with Shaved Celery & Almonds
*Chicken From Quattro's / Mushrooms from Bulich Mushroom Farm / Bacon from Ottomaneli & Sons / Kale, Shallot, Garlic, Thyme from Keith's Farm*
How did you get into photography?
I attended Rutgers University on a gymnastics scholarship and got a degree in Art History. I had no idea what to do with that -- I mean, I came from a blue collar construction worker / waitress community. That was my frame of reference -- no one in my family went to college or traveled outside the country. I wanted out! After traveling throughout Europe for months and months I returned to Jersey in the dead of winter and knew I needed to make the move to NYC. I started in fashion in some low level sales job, but was able to assist photographers on various fashion shoots. My boyfriend at the time was street scouted to be a model and he moved to Milan. I decided that I was going to move there too and become a photographer. So I got like three jobs to make money and saved for a couple of months and then I split. I lived in Italy and Spain for two and half years. You could live for so cheap there back in the 80's. I did test shoots and runway shows. When I came back to NY, I began working as a photo assistant and learned the business of photography. I did that for many years.
Did you learn how to speak Spanish and Italian?
NO! I was really isolated. There would be long periods of time where I didn't speak to anyone. But because I didn't know the language, I was able to really hone my observational skills. I studied people. I would watch things and write stories. It was extremely lonely, but in hindsight I think it was so beneficial. It's very important to yank yourself out of your comfort zone, especially in your twenties. Society is so focused on what we can do next just to entertain ourselves, but people never shake up their worlds. I think it is a really smart thing to do because you figure out who you are without a frame of reference. What do I think? How do I feel? All I did was read, write, walk the streets, go to museums and document.
Do you have any special memories about food from the time you spent in Europe?
You could eat the most insane meals at that time in Italy for so inexpensive. There was this place in Milan that all the models, photographers, creatives would all go to because you could have this incredible meal for like $2.50 and they would keep pouring wine....I also remember the gelato -- it was not in the States at that time so it was my first exposure. I really remember that because I would try NOT to eat it, but the flavors were so incredible. Also I remember a skiing trip in the Alps with a group of Italian friends and I ordered fish. They shunned me -- "You eat fish when you are at the sea and you eat meat when you are in the mountains." I learned the philosophy of eating regionally and seasonally through my travels in Italy.
What is your favorite meal?
I love dinner. I usually start my day with a cup of coffee and the paper at Ninth Street Espresso. Then I work all day. Dinner to me is when everything stops, I get to talk about the day with my husband, Michael, and just relax. We live in the East Village and we have such good restaurants. We pretty much just go out to eat. Michael is a great cook, but we are both workaholics and we don't really have the time.
What is your favorite local restaurant?
Edi & The Wolf. We go there all the time. Since going gluten free I don't get the spaetzel or the schnitzel any more even though they are delicious. I usually get the trout or the duck, which are so good. I always have a veggie, either the brussels sprouts or the kale salad. I am not a big red meat person, but I will have a bite of someone else's. I don't usually leave our hood for dinner -- I like staying in the "Letters" (meaning Alphabet City), so I also go to Back Forty or Lavagna.
Do you ever cook?
Ha, NO! I can't cook at all. Luckily, Michael is a great cook, but when he goes out of town it is up to me to fend for myself. I usually just make up strange things so that I don't go hungry. Our fridge is basically filled with condiments. I am really good at dishes that involve me spreading something on something else and making it a meal. I make this thing that is similar to a quesadilla, except I fold a gluten free tortilla inside the toaster and fill it with cheese and maybe a pickle and let it melt in there...The only two things that I can actually make are my mother's recipes for spaghetti with clam sauce or a rum cake. I told someone else this and then I realized that both of those are riddled with alcohol... what does that say about me?
I had pegged you as a good cook
No, but I am a wicked dish washer. I am the third of six kids and the first girl. My job growing up was to wash the dishes after dinner. I became really efficient so that I could get out of the house and go do the things I wanted to do, like hang out with boys.
Do you have any guilty food pleasures?
I love milk. At night I'll fill a jar with milk and a spoonful of maple syrup and shake it up. It's like a ghetto "milk-shake," it gets all foamy at the top. When you can't cook, you have to get creative!
What foods are nostalgic for you?
My mom's family is Italian and my Grandmother taught her to make a traditional lasagna. My dad's family is Irish, so Sundays were usually corned beef and cabbage or lasagna. I don't crave either of those dishes anymore, but they remind me of childhood.
If you could go anywhere in the world to eat where would you go?
Living in NYC we have such great restaurants and I feel spoiled but I would love to go to Vietnam. Although a meal that I have chased for years is this veal dish that I had in Torino when I lived there. A friend of mine took me to this little hidden spot and I had this paper thin veal that was so mind-blowing. It was so incredible, my search continues but I've never found it.
If you could have lunch with any other woman who would it be?
Dead or alive? Can I pick two? I'd pick Margaret Kilgallen, a friend of mine who passed away who was an amazing artist and painter. I'd like to know what it's like where she is and how she is doing. And the other would be [suffraggette] Victoria Woodhull -- she was a radical and a bad ass. I study how men think and I have written on my mirror "Think like a man, act like a lady, and work like a dog." I have survived in male dominated fields by that belief and that's what she did. She played the man's game and beat them at it. I love women that celebrate their womanhood and use it to their advantage.
Here's some news you can use on this otherwise boring-ass day: Courtney Love, whose been weaving herself a rich tapestry of an online persona since the mid '90s, is launching a YouTube channel. And it looks like it's going to be everything we want it to be. In this 60-second preview clip for what appears to be a reality web series her channel will host, in addition to Courtney-approved videos that cover the " ," the reigning stateswoman of celebrity twitter feuds discusses her recently-won Twitter libel lawsuit, gets a dig in at Dave Grohl, utters the phrase "hashtag: big sweaty balls" and recites dialogue from Valley of the Dolls. And that's all in just 1 minute. Can't. Wait.
FKA Twigs stole our hearts and creeped us out with her summer 2013 video "Water Me." Now she's back with a live video shot in the ruins of a Mayan village near Cancún. Her voice is breathtaking, as usual, and the mossy stone walls make her lacy white clothes and slo-mo moves all the more striking. Still, the best thing about this video might be the two kids clacking sticks together in the background -- both the sound and the way they pull at the tempo are right in sync with the band.