Best NSFW Depiction of Justin Bieber Jacking off on an IO Hawk: The man behind the pornographic Zayn Malik fan-zine SOLO is back again with BOYFRIEND. The Justin Bieber zine features the "What Do You Mean?" singer posing with his car collection, in a shower, and, of course, wanking it on an IO Hawk. (Click through for, uh, pics.) -- MM
Here's my finished #MiloThatch halloween costume! Yes I own a framed picture of Teddy Roosevelt. #Atlantispic.twitter.com/2h166FHBHF
-- Cole C. Sprouse (@colesprouse) October 7, 2015
Worst Return Investment on a Adult-Sized Toddler Vehicle: After making a working life-sized version of a Little Tikes toy car that you can actually drive on a highway, the man who made the monstrosity somehow failed to sell it on eBay. Weird, who would've thought that no one was willing to drop £21,500 on a big version of a toddler toy? -- MM
.@samsmithworld: "I want to be a figure in the gay community, who speaks for gay men"https://t.co/TRfsAIYhr9pic.twitter.com/gSD0yuVT8o
-- Pigeons & Planes (@PigsAndPlans) October 22, 2015Worst Statement by Sam Smith: Self-explanatory, from this interview with NME. There's *some* mitigating context (it's about the broader role Smith would like to assume in pop culture over time), but it really doesn't help all that much. Don't claim you speak for a group that includes millions of people, 'kay? Thanks! -- Eric Thurm
Ask a Grown Man: Terry Crews from Rookie on Vimeo.
Sweetest, Scariest Man: Terry Crews, one of the stars of Brooklyn Nine-Nine (and one of the funniest people in the cast) did Rookie's "Ask a Grown Man" series and, like all the other installments, it is delightful. -- ETTHE LITTLE MAN FROM TWIN PEAKS & DRAKE present: "HOTLINE PEAKS"!
Posted by Laszlo Toth on Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Best "Hotline Bling" Meme, Non-Drake Edition: This video mashup with Twin Peaks is pretty stellar, and manages to avoid "dancing Drake" fatigue while capturing the absurd character of the video (as well as the song). -- ET
I'm dying. WEREWOLF BAR MITZVAH. https://t.co/IhVN1qXwmC
-- Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) October 22, 2015I came. I saw. I ate all the pizza. 🍕🍕🍕🍕 I Only Ate Pizza for a Week and I Lost 5 Pounds https://t.co/WMiicYsbIT via @Cosmopolitan
-- Charlotte Palermino (@charlotteparler) October 21, 201510/12/15:
"I love Lucille Ball's work.""I jumped off a bridge with friends.""My cats are Jules & Verne."#Jeopardypic.twitter.com/37UaxJKeGh
-- CoolJeopardyStories (@CoolJepStories) October 12, 2015Best New Twitter Account: @CoolJeopardyStories, dedicated to "simplistically yet accurately summarizing the insipid contestant interview part of Jeopardy!" So many cats with fun names. --Elizabeth Thompson
Best Business Name: R.I.P. Fuckoffee the London coffee shop. -- SS
Most Unappetizing Pastry: Sanrio, better known as the team behind Hello Kitty, just opened up a pop-up cafe in Hong Kong focused around a lazy egg character called Gudetama. And to market it, they have pastries of this cute little fellow that, um, ooze poop-esque chocolate from its butt area when squeezed. Yum. -- SS
Best Celebrity Conspiracy Theory: So the Internet apparently invented Demi Lovato an imaginary twin sister this week named Poot Lovato. Move over, Avril. -- SS