Let's not make this a list series, shall we? This episode was interesting to me. You never really know what you're going to get with these Men/Women Tell All episodes (for instance Chris Harrison nearly murdered Juan Pablo in his), and I guess ultimately I'm glad they tackled the bullying and slut-shaming that is currently running rampant in our culture. We've enabled millions of tiny little monsters who can tweet and comment vile things at real people with "virtually" no consequences so there was some value there, but that segment was tough to sit through.
First we're treated to a Bachelor in Paradise trailer, and my main takeaway from that is this brilliant thought-starter from Ashley S., our faux eyelashed virgin from Chris Soules's season. "Jared is definitely hot enough to be my first."
Know what? Great idea. Support this 100%. Jared should be at the top of a global listserve of men who would be a great first. Just think about how genuinely caring he would be. I think Jared could be a great resource for a lot of women if this Ashley Madison hack goes through.
Next up is a montage of all the "drama" for the season, and first up is Ian, who is clearly not having all that sex he was so looking forward to due to his offensive, rude, and overconfident behavior. "Princeton needs to teach a class on how not to be an asshole," says my favorite Greek chorus member Tanner, who also went on to call Ian "butthurt" which, while maybe not exactly a PC choice, made me laugh. Ian is so butthurt.
Ian bizarrely tries to channel his inner Atticus Finch in this moment, taking off his jacket and sinking to his knees to deliver a grandstanding apology to the guys, but not before asking if Kaitlyn could stop whatever it is she's doing and come talk to him, on his timeline, even though the lead always comes out near the end. Cool.
Pause while I ask the question everyone was wondering: Who the hell is Corey and why does he suck so much? He got as much screen time as sexy gentle giant Ben Z., and he said things like that that made me angrily drink wine: "Her decisions were in bad taste and disgraceful given what we were looking for." Translation? Kaitlyn had sex with a guy she's dating which makes her a whore and no man who goes on a group dating show wants damaged goods like that for a wife. Corey, if Ken doll were real you would be his annoying, divorced older cousin with a coke problem.
Thank goodness for Ben "be still my heart" H., who jumps in after Corey agrees with Ian's previous assessment of Kaitlyn (she's 'disgraceful' if you recall, which = huge skank), asking him how many episodes he even appeared on. Zing!
Next we move on the JJ and Clint bromance, which I'm going to skip because it's boring, but I will say how refreshing it was to move seamlessly between misogyny and homophobia. Just nice to keep switching it up. However, if you can here's a clip.
Clint was kind of confusing as they debated Kaitlyn's decision to keep Nick on the show, because he made a great point when Joshua started whining about her decision to keep Nick, because previously she said she was confident her husband was in the room that night before Nick arrived, which i'm pretty sure she's contractually obligated to say.
"Dont you think that when you say someone else isn't right for her that you are valuing your opinions above her?" he asks, and yes! That's exactly what he's doing, so thanks for that Clint.
Apparently JJ was deemed worthy enough of a hot seat visit with Chris Harrison, but i'm over it. Let's move on to Ben Z. If you remember, he hasn't cried since his mother passed and was made to attend a faux wake for Kaitlyn as she lay "dead" in a coffin, because this show is concerned with emotional well being above all else. "That caused me to lock up a little bit more," he says. Uh, yeah. Chris Harrison really wants this tall drink of water to shed some tears-- I'd suggest watching videos of soldiers being reunited with their family and/or pets. Always works for me.
Hey, it's Jared, the nicest restaurant manager in all of Rhode Island! Other careers I think Jared would excel at, besides the one he has, at which I'm sure he is just excellent:
Customer service lead
Cruise director
Kayak tour guide
Getting it/Professional virginity consultant
Jared was gracious all season long and this is no different. Chris Harrison did him a solid by making him clean up all that patchy facial hair, and, as evidenced by the two makeouts I spied in the paradise teaser, it worked. I want the best for Jared in the same way I root for white Michelle Williams, Tim Riggins, and Bernie Sanders.
OMG it's Ben H! "It's like walking by a construction site in reverse" Chris Harrison says, casually both acknowledging and misunderstanding the concept of street harassment in one fell swoop. I've extolled Ben's virtues before (handsome, well-spoken, potentially sneaky-funny) so I'm into how into him I am-- let's get this guy to bachelor mansion, stat. Ben clears up what happened in San Antonio: Ben and Shawn were sharing a room in San Antonio (BTW-- of course Shawn ended up in the big bed leaving Ben the cot. You know he half-assed offered to switch knowing Ben wouldn't oppose) and Kaitlyn snuck down to the room and hung out with both for a while. Ben hopped in the shower because they had a production call coming up, and while he was in there Kaitlyn told Shawn he was the one. Case solved. If you were wondering why they spent so much time in Ireland, it's because once this (coupled with her sleeping with Nick) came to light they had to change the filming schedule, because you can't meet four sets of parents once you have sex with a contestant and go off-camera, even though Ben Flajnik and Juan Pablo did exactly that on their seasons.
It's time to bring out Kaitlyn, who gets down to business. "Spreading hate the way people have been is not okay. I can handle it but it's my family that it effects. I get death threats" she says, as the camera totally pans to a woman who made some. And here is where it got real. I saw varying reactions to this on twitter, but I think there was real value in reading aloud, swears and all, the truly disgusting things people have been saying to her, people who are themselves mothers.
Kaitlyn did a damn good job last night, standing up for herself when she needed to and touching on the double standard and hypocrisy in calling someone out on bad behavior when you yourself are publicly spreading hate. Just look at her Twitter replies and Instagram comments. It's frightening how quickly we've gotten to this point, and I'm sure there are lots of longform essays in the works on that topic as I type. "I would rather have you as a role model for my kids than some cyber bully who spews that kind of hate" Harrison (rightfully) tells her. "I'm proud to call you my friend and I'm glad you're here."
Ditto, Harrison! And with that we have 12 Angry Men Confronting Kaitlyn Bristowe. I'm glad they tempered their everlasting entitlement by giving them a taste of the vitriol she's up against, and we (soft) start with Jared, who probably feels bad for a solid ten minutes if he misses an opportunity to hold the door open for someone. What can you say? She just didn't like him as much as he liked her, and that's that. Ben H. wants to know why she told Shawn she slept with Nick and not him, and Kaitlyn's "I'm just not that into you" took the form of an apology: "If it came down to it I would have been honest with you as well. I apologize."
Jonathan tries to give her shit for bringing Nick back and she (sweetly) gives him a mic drop. "Did you not vote for Britt?" she asks, him effectively shutting that down. "What if one of us brought a girl we were talking to on the show? Would that be fair?" my new nemesis Corey idiotically asks about a situation he wasn't even present for. "You guys, try and date this many people at one time and try and not make a mistake, I dare you" she says, and I cheered.
Ian takes another crack at an apology on his knees. Apparently he'd been writing her notes every week, which I can only imagine were super deep, and he wrote a note apologizing for his behavior. This one goes better, and Ian may not be met with as many hostile stares the next time he goes out.
And with that, bloopers! Thank god for Amy Schumer. Next week we have the finale, and hopefully the revelation that Ben H. is the future bachelor of my heart!
First we're treated to a Bachelor in Paradise trailer, and my main takeaway from that is this brilliant thought-starter from Ashley S., our faux eyelashed virgin from Chris Soules's season. "Jared is definitely hot enough to be my first."
Know what? Great idea. Support this 100%. Jared should be at the top of a global listserve of men who would be a great first. Just think about how genuinely caring he would be. I think Jared could be a great resource for a lot of women if this Ashley Madison hack goes through.
Next up is a montage of all the "drama" for the season, and first up is Ian, who is clearly not having all that sex he was so looking forward to due to his offensive, rude, and overconfident behavior. "Princeton needs to teach a class on how not to be an asshole," says my favorite Greek chorus member Tanner, who also went on to call Ian "butthurt" which, while maybe not exactly a PC choice, made me laugh. Ian is so butthurt.
Ian bizarrely tries to channel his inner Atticus Finch in this moment, taking off his jacket and sinking to his knees to deliver a grandstanding apology to the guys, but not before asking if Kaitlyn could stop whatever it is she's doing and come talk to him, on his timeline, even though the lead always comes out near the end. Cool.
Pause while I ask the question everyone was wondering: Who the hell is Corey and why does he suck so much? He got as much screen time as sexy gentle giant Ben Z., and he said things like that that made me angrily drink wine: "Her decisions were in bad taste and disgraceful given what we were looking for." Translation? Kaitlyn had sex with a guy she's dating which makes her a whore and no man who goes on a group dating show wants damaged goods like that for a wife. Corey, if Ken doll were real you would be his annoying, divorced older cousin with a coke problem.
Thank goodness for Ben "be still my heart" H., who jumps in after Corey agrees with Ian's previous assessment of Kaitlyn (she's 'disgraceful' if you recall, which = huge skank), asking him how many episodes he even appeared on. Zing!
Next we move on the JJ and Clint bromance, which I'm going to skip because it's boring, but I will say how refreshing it was to move seamlessly between misogyny and homophobia. Just nice to keep switching it up. However, if you can here's a clip.
Clint was kind of confusing as they debated Kaitlyn's decision to keep Nick on the show, because he made a great point when Joshua started whining about her decision to keep Nick, because previously she said she was confident her husband was in the room that night before Nick arrived, which i'm pretty sure she's contractually obligated to say.
"Dont you think that when you say someone else isn't right for her that you are valuing your opinions above her?" he asks, and yes! That's exactly what he's doing, so thanks for that Clint.
Apparently JJ was deemed worthy enough of a hot seat visit with Chris Harrison, but i'm over it. Let's move on to Ben Z. If you remember, he hasn't cried since his mother passed and was made to attend a faux wake for Kaitlyn as she lay "dead" in a coffin, because this show is concerned with emotional well being above all else. "That caused me to lock up a little bit more," he says. Uh, yeah. Chris Harrison really wants this tall drink of water to shed some tears-- I'd suggest watching videos of soldiers being reunited with their family and/or pets. Always works for me.
Hey, it's Jared, the nicest restaurant manager in all of Rhode Island! Other careers I think Jared would excel at, besides the one he has, at which I'm sure he is just excellent:
Customer service lead
Cruise director
Kayak tour guide
Getting it/Professional virginity consultant
Jared was gracious all season long and this is no different. Chris Harrison did him a solid by making him clean up all that patchy facial hair, and, as evidenced by the two makeouts I spied in the paradise teaser, it worked. I want the best for Jared in the same way I root for white Michelle Williams, Tim Riggins, and Bernie Sanders.
OMG it's Ben H! "It's like walking by a construction site in reverse" Chris Harrison says, casually both acknowledging and misunderstanding the concept of street harassment in one fell swoop. I've extolled Ben's virtues before (handsome, well-spoken, potentially sneaky-funny) so I'm into how into him I am-- let's get this guy to bachelor mansion, stat. Ben clears up what happened in San Antonio: Ben and Shawn were sharing a room in San Antonio (BTW-- of course Shawn ended up in the big bed leaving Ben the cot. You know he half-assed offered to switch knowing Ben wouldn't oppose) and Kaitlyn snuck down to the room and hung out with both for a while. Ben hopped in the shower because they had a production call coming up, and while he was in there Kaitlyn told Shawn he was the one. Case solved. If you were wondering why they spent so much time in Ireland, it's because once this (coupled with her sleeping with Nick) came to light they had to change the filming schedule, because you can't meet four sets of parents once you have sex with a contestant and go off-camera, even though Ben Flajnik and Juan Pablo did exactly that on their seasons.
It's time to bring out Kaitlyn, who gets down to business. "Spreading hate the way people have been is not okay. I can handle it but it's my family that it effects. I get death threats" she says, as the camera totally pans to a woman who made some. And here is where it got real. I saw varying reactions to this on twitter, but I think there was real value in reading aloud, swears and all, the truly disgusting things people have been saying to her, people who are themselves mothers.
Kaitlyn did a damn good job last night, standing up for herself when she needed to and touching on the double standard and hypocrisy in calling someone out on bad behavior when you yourself are publicly spreading hate. Just look at her Twitter replies and Instagram comments. It's frightening how quickly we've gotten to this point, and I'm sure there are lots of longform essays in the works on that topic as I type. "I would rather have you as a role model for my kids than some cyber bully who spews that kind of hate" Harrison (rightfully) tells her. "I'm proud to call you my friend and I'm glad you're here."
Ditto, Harrison! And with that we have 12 Angry Men Confronting Kaitlyn Bristowe. I'm glad they tempered their everlasting entitlement by giving them a taste of the vitriol she's up against, and we (soft) start with Jared, who probably feels bad for a solid ten minutes if he misses an opportunity to hold the door open for someone. What can you say? She just didn't like him as much as he liked her, and that's that. Ben H. wants to know why she told Shawn she slept with Nick and not him, and Kaitlyn's "I'm just not that into you" took the form of an apology: "If it came down to it I would have been honest with you as well. I apologize."
Jonathan tries to give her shit for bringing Nick back and she (sweetly) gives him a mic drop. "Did you not vote for Britt?" she asks, him effectively shutting that down. "What if one of us brought a girl we were talking to on the show? Would that be fair?" my new nemesis Corey idiotically asks about a situation he wasn't even present for. "You guys, try and date this many people at one time and try and not make a mistake, I dare you" she says, and I cheered.
Ian takes another crack at an apology on his knees. Apparently he'd been writing her notes every week, which I can only imagine were super deep, and he wrote a note apologizing for his behavior. This one goes better, and Ian may not be met with as many hostile stares the next time he goes out.
And with that, bloopers! Thank god for Amy Schumer. Next week we have the finale, and hopefully the revelation that Ben H. is the future bachelor of my heart!