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The 10 Best, Worst and Weirdest Celebrity Children's Books

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Apparently, it's celebrity book writing season. But instead of the usual ghostwritten memoirs or selfie art books, stars are penning books for a younger set.

Earlier today it was announced that Bruce Springsteen is set to release Outlaw Pete, a children's book about a bank robbing baby that's based on his song of the same name. Keith Richards, Russell Brand, and Nick Cannon also have kids' books in the works and
we don't blame them -- kids' books are shorter, easier to write, and they don't even have to make sense.

From Weird Al to Jim Carey, here's a look back at the 10 best, worst, and weirdest celebrity children's books.

1. When I Grow Up by (Weird) Al Yankovic


Weird-Al-Yankovicbook.jpg
Most Surprisingly Normal Byline: Al Yankovic. Although the parody singer dropped the "weird" from his name for his children's book, he had some trouble removing it from his face. Weird Al also wins in the "Most Terrifying Book Tour" category.


2. Queen of the Scene by Queen Latifah

queenlatifa.jpgBest Not-So-Hidden Misandrist Message: Girls rule, boys drool. With Queen of the Scene, Queen Latifah takes girl power to the max -- or so reads the press blurb. Scrolling through the Amazon reviews, there was -- of course -- the obligatory white guy who thought that "the main girl seems to be more of a bully than a good representation of women" but we've got a cup labeled "Male Tears" that he can go cry into.


3. Rock Steady: A Story of Noah's Ark by Sting

sting.jpgLeast Reliable Source for Biblical History: A Sting song turned into a book for kids. In the book, a "young, hip" couple responds to what is basically a Craigslist ad posted by Noah himself. The words "contemporary twist" are applied liberally here.


4. Propeller One-Way Night Coach by John Travolta

johntravolta.jpgMost Depressing Book Review Ever: Entertainment Weekly's. According to the 1997 review, John Travolta wrote Propeller One-Way Night Coach in 1992 and gave out copies to his 75 closest friends who promised not to make fun of him. Then in 1997 he finally gained the confidence and the book deal to unleash the plot-less family-friendly fable on the public. Entertainment Weekly gave the book a C.


5. The English Roses by Madonna

madonnabook.jpgWorst Inspiration for a Children's Book: Cabala. Writing a children's book was a spiritual journey for this material girl but The English Roses is just a thinly disguised tale about how much prettier, smarter, and generally better her daughter is compared to other girls.


6. Is There Really a Human Race? by Jaime Lee Curtis

Jamie+Lee+Curtis+Signs+There+Human+Race+8wMAkZkGlUNl.jpgImage via Zimbio

Most Realistic Wax Figure Sent on a Book Tour: See above.


7. Santiago the Dreamer in Land Among the Stars by Ricky Martin


188133796-1.jpgImage via Parentdish
 
Longest Nonsensical Title. In terms of the perfect amount of chest hair cleavage, Ricky Martin nailed it. But he and his ghostwriter could have worked a little harder to find a catchier title for this book. 


8. If Roast Beef Could Fly by Jay Leno

jaylenoroastbeef.jpg
Most Shameless Plot: In If Roast Beef Could Fly, a young Jay Leno will stop at nothing to get a taste of roast beef before dinner time and there's nothing anyone can do to food-shame him out of it.


9. Strawberry Freckleface Strawberry by Julienne Moore


juliennemoorebook.jpgMost Underrepresented Struggle: Living with freckles. We all know it's hard out there for beautiful, freckled, Academy Award-winning actresses but somehow Julienne Moore survived to tell her story.


10. How Roland Rolls by Jim Carey

jimcareybook.jpgDeepest Book Blurb: Deepak Chopra: "Philosophers and scientists struggle to understand cosmic consciousness, but Jim Carrey explains it with elegant simplicity to the child in all of us. We are the ocean rolling along as Roland the Wave becoming raindrop, river, cloud, and becoming the life throb of ages dancing in us this moment." The lesson here, kids, is never judge a book by its title font.




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