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Best "Beyoncé-Themed Thing" of the Week: The ABC's of Beyoncé. If it was up to the internet, this would be on the walls of every classroom in America. -- Gabby Bess
Most Exciting TV News of the Week: There's going to be a Seinfeld reunion, people! -- A.S.
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Shortest Retirement of the Week: Shia LeBeouf's. The Beef is coming out of his three-week long retirement to star in a movie with Bill Murray, Zooey Deschanel, and Danny McBride. -- G.B.
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Saddest Beer-Related News of the Week: The news that the FAA were putting the kibosh to beer drones. Guess we'll have to keep buying our six-packs like fuckin' PEDESTRIANS. -- A.S.
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Best Cartoon We Watched All Week: Tinderella, a fairytale starring a lonely young woman and your favorite dating app. -- A.S.