Saddest Penis News of the Week: Jon Hamm has been told by AMC to put his pants ham away. We pay tribute to our old friend HERE. -- Elizabeth Thompson Best Reading: Over the weekend I plowed through Richard Hell's new autobiography, I Dreamed I Was a Very Clean Tramp. (It's not that long.) Hell greatly inspired my teenage self: I even wrote about him in my college essay. His prose is controlled and lyrical, but sufficiently self-aware to avoid mystification. I frequently laughed out loud. -- Jonah Wolf
Engagement News that Most Made Us Real Nervous of the Week: Vincent Kartheiser and his Mad Men co-star Alexis Bledel are engaged, which, congrats! Yay! But also, Vincent Kartheiser once told us at at an event
that he wore a fake wedding ring because he liked the kind of woman it attracted and just generally seems a little turdish. (See this charming
quote about rape he gave to Blackbook at the same party.) Run away Alexis Bledel, run! -- E.T.Best Spring Break-Related Schadenfreude of the Week: Lesley Arfin's tale about seeing an old classmate while drunk on spring break. "She'd had a nose job and her face looked so radically different that I puked all over her. My drunken brain couldn't handle the shock of her new face." -- Abby Schreiber
Most Shocking Physical Transformation of the Week: Amanda Bynes'. Check out those cheek piercings! -- Rashard BradshawStory That Most Made Our Palms Sweat: This Times article on the construction worker who was almost sucked into 'a tomb' of nearly frozen viscous mud while he was working on the 2nd avenue subway tunnel. It took four hours to get him out and thanks to this line -- "In the end, it would take a pulley system, a backhoe, a manual griphoist machine and the sheer determination of scores of firefighters, who crouched in the slop to dig him out by hand, to finally release the worker from earth's steely grip" -- we're now terrified of mud. Get away from all mud! -- E.T.
Best Collaboration: It's been confirmed that Beyoncé and H&M are joining forces for a summer campaign! -- R.B.Best New Rumor: Kimye may be naming their child North, as in North West. I'm officially done. -- R.B.