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Twitter Highlights From the Billy on the Street Premiere

Last night the second season premiere of Billy on the Street, comedian Billy Eichner's man-on-the-street quiz show, was held at the Beacon Theater. The night brought together the show's crew, celebrity friends and faithful fans to watch a sneak peek of the new season. One of the bigger highlights of the evening, however, happened before the show even began, when audience members could see their #billyonthestreet tweets broadcast on the theater's massive screen. What commenced was a rapid-fire tweeting frenzy where audience members could make cracks, interact with some of the celebrity audience members, or just bask in a few moments of fame. Apparently, Eichner has fans and friends who are as equally genius as he is on Twitter. Here are some of our favorites that we saw broadcast pre-show:

 Expectations were high.

Someone spotted Numb3rs actor David Krumholtz in the audience! (Krumholtz currently stars on the show Partners, though we enjoyed his Adams Family Values years most.)

 And he wanted in on the Tweet-screen action, too.

 The normal person/hipster equilibrium was nearly destroyed.

Someone pointed out that they had better seats than comedians Max Silvestri and Gabe Liedman, who is a writer for Billy on the Street.

 Unheard of.  

 But hold on, Brooke Shields was there! 

 Some hard hitting-questions in a long series of Shields-inspired tweets.

At this point Shields stood up, waved to the crowd and got a huge round of applause. 

Just looking for a little compassion this holiday season.

Everyone learned something new about 30 Rock character Gaylord Felcher.

How Was Your Week host and Billy on the Street producer Julie Klausner cries bias! 

People started wondering when the show would start. Where was Billy?

Just then, out came Bravo's Andy Cohen to introduce the man of the hour, who lead the  audience in screaming "Meryl Fucking Streep" so loudly that it would "continue echoing in Liza Minnelli's broken head" at the Tony Awards six months from now. Catch more of Eichner's  shenanigans when the new season premieres on Fuse this Friday! Cannot wait.

Thumbnail photo via FunnyorDie.

Brad Troemel Does a Grimes Portrait In Sriracha...


Screen shot 2012-12-05 at 5.32.58 PM.png
1. Instagram will no longer allow its photos to show up on Twitter. As a work-around, Nick Bilton suggests applying filters on Instagram, saving the new filtered photos, and re-uploading them to twitter. [Bits]

tumblr_mej3ou7NuT1qzcdbeo1_500.jpg2. Digging this Grimes portrait done in Sriracha on an iPad. Read our interview with the artist, Brad Troemel, here. [JOGGING]

3. PAPER cover star M.I.A. e-mailed a fan a new track, which quickly spread across the 'net. Interesting choice for a background photo, YouTube-user Digiterati Chutzpah...[Rolling Stone]

4. R.I.P. Dave Brubeck. We're going to listen to "Rondo à la Turk" all the way home tonight. [NY Times]

queen052way-bd5de6750c661f621d363ede15be44b35de5e840-s51.jpg5. Some ballsy Australian radio DJs were able to speak with Kate Middleton's hospital nurse after doing "terrible" impersonations of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles. For those who don't obsess about celebrity babies, Middleton has been in the hospital suffering from acute morning sickness as a result of her newly-announced pregnancy.  You can listen to the prank call HERE. [Telegraph; Image: PA Photos /Landov via NPR]

6998837.JPG6. Taavo Somer (Freemans, Isa, Peels) is opening a new spot on the LES at 8 Rivington St. Reportedly, the restauranteur is seeking to open a "bar-boutique" that "will split threads upstairs with normal retail hours, and nighttime activities in the basement." [Bowery Boogie]
7. Mr. Burns explains the Fiscal Cliff in this new Simpsons PSA. [PopCultureBrain]

By Robert James Opens in Williamsburg...

brjphoto 1.jpg
SHOPPING: By Robert James Opening
Menswear designer Robert James opens his new Williamsburg pop-up shop tonight with big-band jazz by Dandy Wellington and his Band, a dj set by John Thornley (US Royalty) and cocktails by Bulleit. The Brooklyn store will feature four unique pieces not available in James's Lower East Side location at 74 Orchard St. For more information, head to the BRJ Facebook.
241 Bedford Avenue, Brooklyn. 7 p.m.

MUSIC: Marina and the Diamonds at Terminal 5
PAPER favorite Marina and the Diamonds display range of stylistic flare, with a mixture of polished pop and a vintage aesthetic. Opening are Swedish duo Icona Pop.
Terminal 5, 610 West 56th Street. 8 p.m. Sold out.

MUSIC: Jef Lee Johnson and the Ohnos at Douglass Street Music Collective
Philadelphia-based guitarist Jef Lee Johnson is equally versed in jazz and funk, having toured with both McCoy Tyner and D'Angelo (as part of legendary backing band the Soultronics). He has been proclaimed "the G.O.A.T." by none less a music scholar than ?uestlove. Tonight he makes a rare New York appearance fronting a new group called the Ohnos, with percussion by composer Lukas Ligeti.
Douglass Street Music Collective, 295 Douglass Street, Brooklyn. 8 p.m. $10 (suggested).

Morning Funnies: A Freaks and Geeks Reunion

tumblr_meiz3kwZhq1qa9siqo1_500.pngDamn gurl, you move fast! [via Afternoon Snooze Button]

2ik72is.jpgFor Vanity Fair's Judd Apatow guest-edited first-ever Comedy Issue, the director re-united the entire cast and crew of Freaks and Geeks. And is that Jason Schwartzman in the front row, all the way at the left? It IS! We had 100% completely forgotten that he had a bit part as a fake ID dealer. Hallelujah. [Vanity Fair via ONTD]

"You spin me right round, baby, right round like a record, baby, right round." [via Coin Farts]

Screen shot 2012-12-05 at 9.49.22 PM.pngStephens Colbert and King -- cute couple alert! [via Awesome People Hanging Out Together]

Screen shot 2012-12-05 at 9.59.54 PM.pngWe need to go antiquing more. [via 100 Years of Lolitude]

tumblr_meiwe7ttOy1qz581wo1_500.jpgWe are deeply creeped out by Mary Kate and Ashley's new bag design that's covered in pills. [via Buzzfeed]

Screen shot 2012-12-05 at 10.18.08 PM.pngWant a job at PAPER? [via Knusprig Titten Hitler]

Here's a deleted scene from Girls in which Hannah follows up on her job application to work at a cupcake bakery. We're glad she wound up working at Cafe Grumpy with Ray instead. [via Vulture]

Screen shot 2012-12-05 at 10.56.12 PM.pngA morning funnies belated birthday h/t to College Humor. That's what their site looked like thirteen years ago. We can make out some disclaimer that reads "Attention parents and people over 32..." [via College Humor]

In case you missed it, here's the adorable subway interaction between Jay-Z and an artist named Ellen Grossman when the rapper rode the train to his Barclays Center show. We're  happy that at least 1/8,244,910 New Yorkers don't know who Jay-Z is...keeps a guy humble, you know? Head over to Jay-Z's Life + Times YouTube channel to watch the full 24-minute video about the eight Barclays Center dates. [via Uproxx]

The MEGA Guide to Art Basel Miami Beach 2012: Thursday

The Fountain Art Fair Miami (2505 North Miami Avenue. Miami) is back for their seventh go-round with over 35 exhibitors and a "visual display of installation-heavy artworks" in a 25,000 square-foot warehouse. Fountain is always a blast with lots of parties and hip art. The VIP preview is tonight.

The fifth and final edition of OHWOW's "It Ain't Fair" opens tonight from 6 to 9 p.m. at 743 Washington Avenue in South Beach.

The prize for "best invite" to an AB/MB party goes to design firm Munoz & Company's life-like taco for "Mestizo City." The three-day site-specific installation opens tonight at 6:30 p.m. at 81 NE 40th Street, Miami.

Nirvana fans can look forward to a unique, three-part performance and exhibit called "KURT" at Miami's Gusman Center for the Performing Arts (174 E Flagler Street, Miami).  The tribute to the late Kurt Cobain includes an appearance by Sonic Youth's Thurston Moore, a short film by Adarsha Benjamin and a 15-minute live version of the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" music video directed by Los Angeles choreographer Ryan Heffington.  Tickets are here. Adarsha Benjamin and Henry Hopper host the KURT afterparty at the James Royal Palm (1545 Collins Avenue, South Beach) with a DJ set by Devendra Banhart and a live performance by the So So Glos.

New York's Jonathan LeVine Gallery will present the (private) world premiere of Art 4 Space, a documentary film about French artist Invader and the recent launch of one of his iconic mosaics into outer space (pictured above). The film is being screened in partnership with the Miami International Film Festival at the Colony Theatre (1040 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach). We hear that PAPER senior editor Carlo McCormick will moderate a Q&A session with the artist following the screening. The film is on view to the public at the PULSE-Miami Art Fair through Sunday.

NADA Miami Beach previews today and opens to the public tomorrow opens for the public today at 2 p.m. at the Deauville Beach Resort (6701 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach). It's the fair's tenth Anniversary!

Visionaire, Net-a-Porter and Mr. Porter are opening a "Free Store" in the new Miami Beach SLS Hotel (1701 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach). The store is an interactive art installation by Jonathan Horowitz and "customers" are invited to "bring stuff you can't use and take stuff away that you can." Personal items that could be yours for the taking will be provided by everyone from Michael Stipe to Maurizio Cattelan to Marilyn Minter.  

Nisi Berryman hosts an opening reception for "Images" by Greg Lotus at NIBA Home (39 NE 39th Street, Miami).

MeUndies and Curtis Kulig launch their "Love Me" collab tonight at "the first upscale hostel in the US," Freehand Miami (2727 Indian Creek Drive, Miami Beach) with DJ Chelsea Leyland. The hostel was designed by Roman & Williams and is a part of the NoMad group.

Merchandise and Teengirl Fantasy are playing tonight at 10 p.m. at The Vagabond (30 NE 14th Street, Miami).

If you feel like having a beer while checking out "The Factory Art Show" (101 NW 24th Street, Miami), you're in luck. The street-art-centric fair will also include a Basel Biergarten serving top craft beers from Florida breweries, plus a "charcuterie house featuring candied bacon and other other delicious artisan smoked meats." It opens today from 2 to 11 p.m

There's a new fair called JustMad setting up shop in Wynwood's SOHO Studios this year and -- besides the 30 galleries exhibiting their works -- this one will include a working re-creation of Madrid's famed San Miguel Market. There will be tons of Spanish merchants bringing their local food products to a gigantic space designed by Andres Jaque.

Scope Miami returns this year in a new Midtown Miami location at 110 NE 36th Street. Their 100,000-square-foot pavilion will house over 85 established galleries, plus another 20 new galleries that will be featured in Scope's "Breeder" program. Also this year, VH1 is sponsoring a special outdoor lounge dedicated to "music, art and beyond" that will be open during regular fair hours. Tonight, there's an invite-only party from 7 to 11 p.m. featuring a performance by Canadian band Metric.

Fendi Casa Luxury Living (90 NE 39th Street, Miami) and Elle Decor are showing 25 Andy Warhol silkscreens in an exhibit curated by Adamar Fine Arts.

Dom Pérignon introduces their new Luminous Rosé at a VIP party in the W South Beach Hotel's Wall nightclub tonight with DJ Nick Cohen. Alex Dellal, Stavros Niarchos and Vito Schnabel host. It's the official afterparty for the annual Aby Rosen dinner at The Dutch.

Evian and Diane von Furstenberg are having a super-private VIP luncheon to launch their limited-edition bottle collab at Soho Beach House.

Hot New York club Westway opens their pop-up in the Shore Club's Red Room tonight and it will run through Saturday.

Graffiti artist Niels "Shoe" Meulman and footwear brand United Nude launch their "A Shoe By Shoe" collab (plus book signing of Shoe's new book) at the Wynwood Walls (2516 NW 2nd Avenue, Miami) from 6 to 8 p.m.

For the first time in the US, Marni will show their "L'Arte del Ritratto" exhibition in their store at 3930 NE 2nd Avenue.  The exhibit includes 125 chairs that will be sold to benefit Miami's service network for Children of Inmates, as well as photos by Francesco Jodice.  The VIP opening is this evening.

Bruce Weber will sign copies of his new book at the Standard Hotel (40 Island Avenue, Miami Beach) at 6 p.m.

Kelly Klein launches her latest photo book at The Webster (1220 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach) at 6 p.m.

Davidoff, an associate sponsor of AB/MB, is expected to announce details on its upcoming "Art Initiative" during a press conference at the Miami Beach Botanical Garden at 5 p.m.

Gary Nader's second annual art auction is today at 6 p.m. at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in South Beach (1 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach).

Paradox Designs hosts a Wearable Art Gallery tonight and tomorrow, 6 p.m. to midnight, at Zen Loft (1233 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach).

Cultured Magazine hosts a party at "MADinItaly" design store (4 NE 39th Street in Miami's Design District) at 7 p.m. with works by Lapo Elkann, Gaetano Pesce, Monica Casali, Valentino De Martini and Lorenzo Perrone. RSVP here.

Nicolas Jaar is at Bardot (3456 North Miami Avenue, Miami) at 10 p.m.

Photograph from Invader's "Art 4 Space."

Merchandise Play Dead "In Nightmare Room"


Tampa's own Merchandise take the Miami stage tonight at the Vagabond (30 NE 14th Street, Miami) with Teengirl Fantasy. The lo-fi video (released in August) for "In Nightmare Room," off the free album Children of Desire, shows band members spitting up fake blood and playing dead in a dark basement while a drum machine beats sixteenth-notes and guitar chords reverberate. Eyelinered singer Carson Cox even pulls the old flashlight-under-chin move, proving that, like many a goth frontman before him, he has more fun putting on a show than he does putting the scare in you.

Dov Charney Is Being Sued for Choking An Employee...


103286283-300x396.jpgOh boy. Calvin Klein's ex, Nick Gruber, gave a whopper of an interview to Page Six. Highlights include Nick insisting that he's straight (even though he has a boyfriend), revealing that Calvin once took him to a basement of a hotel in Chelsea in order to make him take a lie detector test, and his current boyfriend describing him as a cross between Honey Boo Boo and Kim Kardashian. We repeat, oh boy... [via Fashionista]

lena-dunham-ew-eoy_510x510.jpgHere's Lena Dunham looking like Twiggy in the new issue of Entertainment Weekly.

124339742-300x450.jpgWhen asked whether fashion magazines look down on bloggers, Tommy Ton replied: "Yes, absolutely [magazines look down on bloggers]. You can sense it when you're going to the shows. You feel like they belittle you in a way. Not intentionally, but you can feel like they're thinking, 'Oh, you've cheated the system. I don't feel like you earned your spot here sitting in the show.'"  [via Fashionista]

kitty-ring.jpgPeople turning their no-longer-living pets into diamonds and other gems is now a thing. [via WSJ]

Racked sent of their reporters out in one of the (unbelievably) tamer items from Yoko Ono's collection for Opening Ceremony. The result is hilarious. [via Racked]

3_bal_1728842a.jpgFrançois-Henri Pinault suggested that Alexander Wang may be designing a couture line for Balenciaga! [via Telegraph UK]

lv-travel-cabinet.jpgWe love the series of travel-ready objects that Louis Vuitton commissioned various artists to create! Our favorite by far is the 'hanging travel cabinet' by the Campana Brothers. [via Dezeen]

dov-charney-choking.jpgSome disturbing-but-not-incredibly-surprising news out of American Apparel: Dov Charney is being sued for choking an employee and rubbing his face in the dirt. [via LA Times]

R.I.P. Dance Right Los Angeles

Matt Goldman has put on Dance Right in downtown LA for the last six years. Six years, in nightlife terms, is a very long time for a weekly party. The success is due in part to the DJs who refuse requests (it's the policy) and play great stuff for sweaty and enthusiastic crowds at La Cita. Some of the talented DJs who have graced the booth over the years include Just Blaze, DJ AM, Lykke Li, Gaslmap Killer, Blu Jemz, Caribou, DJ Mehdi and Them Jeans. Goldman, whom Paper profiled in 2011, is also an artist so the the flyers for Dance Right have always been really great. Now, with the party starting to wrap up for good, flyers are  organized in an archive that you can browse at your leisure. There are four more Dance Rights left, including tonight's, so you can still catch the tail end of the fun before 2013 hits.


This Weekend...


smd.jpgMUSIC: Simian Mobile Disco
2012's been a busy year for UK minimal electro-pop duo James Ford and Jas Shaw, what with putting out an album and an E.P. Tonight they're at Webster Hall as part of their North American tour, which wraps up 12/19 in Jamaica, aboard the S.S. Coachella. Jealous. Webster Hall, (212) 353-1600, East Village, 6 p.m.

Head to Muchmore's in North Williamsburg for a show dedicated to bringing Internet artists and their work off the screen and into a physical space. The opening tonight will feature a VJ set by Kyle Hiedacavage and a DJ set by SUPERCUTE! For more information on the exhibit, read our Q&A with the show's curator, Anna Li, and one of the artists, Al Baio.
Muchmore's, 2 Havemeyer St., Williamsburg; 8 p.m. - 10 p.m.

SHOPPING: Holiday Market at Secret Project Robot
The Bushwick art space is transforming their backyard into a "magic holiday village" -- think: European holiday market-meets-DIY flea, plopped in the middle of an industrial neighborhood. They'll have BBQs fired up offering warmth and mulled wine; bands and DJs while provide a live shopping (and hanging out) soundtrack; and you can munch on pretzels while browsing the goods on sale from local vendors.
Secret Project Robot, 389 Melrose St., Bushwick; Runs through Dec. 16, Free

ART: End of Days Group Show
Fear not, not everyone is at Basel. Head to Soho's Sacred Gallery for the opening of their giant group show featuring -- you guessed it -- sculpture, paintings, drawings and mixed media works inspired by the apocalypse. Artists come from around the country and include Cig Neutron, ego, Needles, Aunia Kahn, Hanna Jaeun, Lalo Yunda, Vincent Castiglia and more. Get in to see it before December 21!
Sacred Gallery, 424 Broadway, SoHo; Opening from 8 p.m. - 11 p.m. (Gallery hours are noon - 8 p.m.), Free


national-lampoons-christmas-vacation-chevy-chase-clark-griswold-poster-19891.pngFILM: Griswold Family Christmas at Acme Studio
The folks at ACME studio are hosting a little Christmas movie festival this weekend, showing Elf, Christmas Vacation (before we were all too innocent and young to know what a dick Chevy Chase is) and Gremlins (which is seriously, seriously a scary movie! How was this ever meant for kids?), and will be serving beer, wine, and gourmet popcorn. They've also got a holiday shop on-site, complete with "prints made by the HR department" with all proceeds raised from print sales going to Hurricane Sandy relief.
ACME studio, 63 N. 3rd St., Willimasburg, Brooklyn, Tickets: $25, includes a drink. Through Saturday. Times here

MUSIC: The pharmacy at Shea Stadium
Seattle trio the Pharmacy play scuzzy garage-pop that owes a lot to the early Kinks. Over ten years playing together (starting in high school), they've developed a reputable live show. Local punk trio Sleepies have been building buzz with this year's hook-filled album Weird Wild World and will open the show. Promoter Carlos Valpeoz, a.k.a. Bikes in the Kitchen, threatens this "holiday jam" may be his last show ever.
Shea Stadium, 20 Meadow Street, Brooklyn. 9 p.m. $5.

PARTY: Bossa Nova Civic Club Opening
This tropical-themed dance club opens its doors tonight with house DJ sets from Kim Ann Foxman (Hercules & Love Affair) and Steve Summers (L.I.E.S./100% Silk).
Bossa Nova Civic Club, 1271 Myrtle Avenue, Bushwick; (718) 443-1271. 10 p.m. Free.

MUSIC: Autre Ne Veut / Mykki Blanco / Majical Cloudz at 285 Kent
Brooklyn-based R&B up-and-comer shares a line-up with internet rap sensation-turned-bona fide rap sensation Mykki Blanco and Canadian electro pop duo, Majical Cloudz, at the small DIY space. Gatekeeper and Oneohtrix Point Never round out the bill with a DJ set each. Bottom line? Expect a mash-up of genres and music more colorful than the outfits you'll undoubtedly see on the kids who show up for the party.
285 Kent Ave., Williamsburg; 10 p.m., $10 ahead / $12 at the door

PARTY: Blkmarket Membership Presents Cocoon Heroes: Into the Magic
The roving, 'secret' underground dance party partners with techno label Cocoon to host dance music demi-gods like Turkey's Onur Özer, Tobi Neumann and André Galluzzi. As always, the location is hush-hush but email cocoonnewyork@gmail.com for the deets.
Location TBA; 11 p.m., $35 Advance Tickets

DANCE: The Nutcracker
It doesn't get more magical and lovely than the Nutcracker and tonight BAM kicks off the American Ballet Theatre's nine days of performances, which will be complete with a live orchestra. If you know a little kid who's into ballet, this is a must.
BAM, 30 Lafayette Ave., Ft. Greene, Brooklyn. Various times. $25.


MUSIC: The Rolling Stones Play the Barclays Center
The Stones' "50 and Counting..." tour makes a stop in Brooklyn to serenade the Barclays Center with "Start Me Up," "Tumbling Dice," and "Sympathy For the Devil." (We hear they bummed fans out by skipping "Satisfaction" at their kick-off show in London.) Gary Clark Jr. is said to be joining the band onstage for a duet and, given the fact that they brought out Mary J. Blige, Jeff Beck and ex-Stones Bill Wyman and Mick Taylor at that London gig, we're guessing there's more guest appearances where that came from.
Barclays Center, 620 Atlantic Ave., Fort Greene; 8 p.m., Available tickets are (unfortunately) around $830

COMEDY: The Brooks Brothers Christmas Clambake
Eggnog and clams will be served at UCB's annual ode to all things lovably -- and eye-rollingly -- preppy during the yuletide season (Sperry Top-Siders, F. Scott Fitzgerald, the Hampton Jitney and "your younger brother who didn't get into Princeton and ended up going to Tufts" are a few of the topics you might find the comedians riffing on). PAPER's own Alex Scordelis will host the show along with Chris Schell and Justin Purnell.

HAIRY: The 3rd Beard and Mustache Competition
The categories alone for this year's beard and mustache contest, including "women's most fantastic" and "beard over one foot" make this annual facial-hair showdown a must-attend. There will be raffles, belly dancers, pierogies and drink specials, too.
Warsaw, 261 Driggs Ave., Williamsburg, Brooklyn, 8 p.m. $15. Tickets here.

HOLIDAY: Santa Paws
If you're sick of having your Facebook feed bombarded with photos of your friends' kids sitting on Santa's lap, here's your chance to post a few better pics of your own: Ink48 and 70 Park Avenue hotels are inviting pet owners to bring their furry friends to visit Santa and put in their requests for some new catnip or that chew toy the pooch has been eyeing. Light refreshments will be provided for humans and pets alike (drinks and cookies for the former, home-made treats and water bowls for the latter). If you're pet-less, come by anyway because rescue shelter Social Tees NYC will be bringing by some of their four-legged friends who need a home for the holidays.
Ink48: 653 11th Ave.,  2 p.m. - 4 p.m.; 70 Park Avenue: 70 Park Ave. between 38th and 39th St., 2 p.m. - 4 p.m. (Sunday, December 9)  

PARTY: SPANK / CRZE 5 Year Anniversary Loft Party
Queer art zine and party collective Spank celebrates five years in business with a blow-out at the Scholes Loft. Expect a "sprawling dance floor, multiple rooms and [an] outdoor patio" along with performances by Scissor Sisters' Ana Matronic and Ab Soto, dj sets by Sean B, and an art and light installation by BIG ART Group and Jeffrey Owen Ralston.
341 Scholes St., East Williamsburg; 10 p.m., $15 advance tickets


Menorah-Horah_652x367.jpgHOLIDAY/BURLESQUE: Menorah Horah Hanukkah Burlesque ShowThe festival of lights and burlesque might seem like strange bedfellows but, given that there's seven other nights to spend the holiday with family and friends, why not watch some gals take off their clothes on the second night? Sherry Vine hosts the pageant-style event and the Schlep Sisters (Minnie Tonka and Darlinda Just Darlinda) will judge the performances.
Highline Ballroom, 431 16th St.; 8 p.m., $20-$35 plus $10 minimum

PANEL: The Power and Politics of Music and Media at PS1
Tom Tom Magazine, "the only print magazine in the world about female drummers," hosts this panel with Wax Poetic Editor-in-Chief Andre Torres, Cibo Matto multi-instrumentalist Yuka Honda, East Village Radio general manager Peter Ferraro, and artist/musician Lisa Lipton. Tom Tom founder and editor Mindy Abovitz moderates.
MoMA PS1, 22-25 Jackson Avenue, Queens; 4 p.m., Free

FILM: Spoons, Booze and Tunes: Holiday Edition
Ooh, it's a yuletide edition of Nitehawk's Sunday morning retro cartoon series! Today's installment of SBT will include clips from the legendary He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special , as well as highlights from Ren and Stimpy, The Smurfs, The Flinstones, Garfield and more. There's gonna be a cereal bar, booze and photos with Santa.
Nitehawk Cinema, 136 Metropolitan Ave., Williamsburg, Brooklyn., 12 p.m., $11.

Mike Tyson Hits the Road...


1. A fascinating look at the 1998 PlayStation game LSD: Dream Emulator. [Kotaku]

2. Meyhem Lauren has a new mixtape. [Mishka]

3. Alexander Olch is opening a men's-accessories pop-up shop at 77 Delancey Street (home of the Nor'East Clam Shack). [Bowery Boogie, image via A Continuous Lean on Flickr]

4. In other Lower East Side restaurant news, Katz's Deli has started making deliveries [The Local: East Village]

4. Mike Tyson's Spike Lee-directed one-man show is going on tour next February and hitting the Beacon Theater April 28. More info at Tyson's Facebook fan page.

6. How did this guy get an EDM Grammy nomination? [Spin]

7. Random House employees are getting $5,000 bonuses thanks to the Fifty Shades series. [Media Decoder]

The MEGA Guide to Art Basel Miami Beach 2012: Friday

Chromatics are playing a special Art Basel concert presented by Miami's premiere indie record store, Sweat Records.  The Portland, Oregon, band performed in Paris at the Chanel Spring/Summer 2013 fashion show.  You can see that epic show here. Prince Rama is opening and the show starts at 8 p.m. in downtown Miami's Gusman Center (174 E. Flagler St., Miami).  Tickets are here.

PAPER's Carlo McCormick curated a cool 3-man show called "Luxotica" with works by Ivory, Les One and Tich that opens tonight from 6 to 10 p.m. at the Seminole Building (120 NW 25th Street, Wynwood, Miami).

Donna Karan hosts a book signing for "Stephan Weiss: Connecting the Dots" at noon in the beach club at the Delano Hotel (1685 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach).  The book is a tribute to Karan's late husband and proceeds from the book benefit the Urban Zen Foundation.

United Colors of Benetton and PAPER Magazine (hey, that's us) celebrate the launch of the new Benetton store at 670 Collins Avenue in South Beach from 6 to 9 p.m. tonight with "a conga line" and DJs May Kwok and Mark Holcomb.

Moncler is celebrating their 60th anniversary with a big VIP-only party.

Terry Richardson signs copies of his "Terrywood" (pictured above) -- published by OHWOW/Damiani -- at the Standard Hotel (40 Island Avenue, Miami Beach) today from 7 to 9 p.m.  And yes, there's an afterparty with music by Total Freedom and Eric Duncan.

SSION is at the Shore Club (1901 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach) for a PULSE party at 9 p.m.

Party with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh at another big "Art of Basketball" shindig featuring DJ Irie.  It's VIP-only tonight, but the fab exhibit is free and open to the public from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. all week at 2048 NW Miami Court, Miami.

Paddle8 and Tumblr celebrate their "Moving the Still: A GIF Festival" with a party from 8 to 12 p.m. tonight at 318 NW 23rd Street, Miami. The exhibition will be open to the public through Saturday, from noon to 7 p.m. daily.

Style blogger Garance Doré hosts a party for Pavan liqueur in the Soho Beach House tent tonight with a live set from Nouvelle Vague and DJs Harley Viera-Newton and William Wilson Doppelganger

Marcelo Krasilcic celebrates the publication of his 1990s photo book with music by Renata Abbade at the Lords Hotel (1120 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach) at 9 p.m.

Photographer Matthew Rolston debuts his new book Talking Heads: The Vent Haven Portraits -- it's portraits of ventriloqust "dummies" from the Vent Haven museum in Kentucky -- at the Fontainbleau Hotel (4441 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach) at 7 p.m.

Rakim is playing at The Stage (170 NE 38th Street, Miami) at 8 p.m. 

Ruvan Wijesooriya launches his LCD Soundsystem photo-book at the Hotel Victor (1144 Ocean Drive, Miami Beach) at 9 p.m.

Nicolas Jaar is at the Mondrian South Beach (1100 West Avenue, Miami Beach) at 8:30 p.m.  $25/$40 tickets are here.

Poplife hosts an installation and performance by Daniel Johnston at Grand Central (697 North Miami Avenue, Miami) at 9 p.m.

MoMA PS1 and Volkswagen host a benefit for Hurricane Sandy relief efforts tonight at the Delano Hotel (1685 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach) from 9 p.m. to midnight with the premiere of the first film for EXPO 1: New York directed by Matthew Akers and DJ sets by Chromeo and Animal Collective.  There is a $100 minimum donation required for admission.  All proceeds go to the Rockaway Waterfront Alliance. Go here to buy a ticket, or just make a donation if you're not going down to Miami.

The Andy Warhol Museum launches a limited-edition portfolio of five photographs called "The Warhol: Museum Edition" by William John Kennedy tonight at the former Versace Mansion on Ocean Drive.

PHOTO CREDIT: © Terry Richardson: Terrywood. Damiani/OHWOW, 2012. Via Life + Times.

Morning Funnies: Amy Poehler Swears In Front of Infants


Amy Poehler tells Conan that people should lower their expectations about she and Tina Fey hosting the Golden Globes. She also discusses swearing in front of newborns and the amazing things her oldest son Archie says at school. [Jezebel]
filthyanimal2.pngFor all of your Home Alone 2-inspired holiday fashion needs. [LaughingSquid]

Bill Murray's awesome arrival to the Late Show last night. [Gotchamediablog]
tumblr_mempkgrHxE1qa9siqo1_500.gifMom, you're embarrassing me! Demi Moore, awkwardly dancing next to Lenny Kravitz at the Chanel Art Basel Miami party, now in GIF form by Bobby Finger.

bananaslicer.pngbananareview.pngThis banana slicer has over 500 customer reviews on Amazon, and the Daily Dot has highlighted some of the more truly awesome ones. "Look at the woman 'eating' a banana" is our favorite line.
Roll models. [GemmaCorrell]

jonhammcoloringbook.pngThis Jon Hamm coloring book is a real thing that you can buy. [IncredibleThings]

tumblr_meghi2kmhS1qbl0k8o1_500.jpgL.D. form Florida, you are a monster.

Get your griddles. [TallWhitney]

Penguin falls down, best noise ever happens. [LaughterKey]

Chromatics Deconstruct "Cherry"


Chromatics' video for "Cherry" is blurry to the point of abstraction, with colored lights floating over close shots of a guitar neck. This overexposure doesn't just accentuate the Eurodisco track's hazy synthesizers and vocals--it also exposes the film's own construction, as do images of a handheld camera filming singer Ruth Radelet. (But why does she need those huge shades? It's so dark!)

Chromatics play a special Art Basel concert tonight at the Gusman Center, 174 East Flagler Street, Miami. Tickets are here.

Jude Law Is Looking Mighty Handsome...

pregnant-gisele.jpgGisele gave birth to a baby girl! The baby, named Vivian Lake, was born in her and Tom Brady's home in Boston. Congrats! [via The Cut]

jude-law-the-new-york-times-style-december-2012-01.jpgJude Law covers T Magazine, with a feature that, as Gawker pointed out, takes great pains to continue that "now that the actor isn't as good looking, they can take on more serious roles" thing.  We beg to disagree: he's still incredibly hot. [via Design Scene]

Screen-Shot-2012-12-07-at-9.20.53-AM-300x380.pngLeigh Lezark appears to be a the first person to wear a look made by Stefano Pilati for Zegna's womenswear line, Agnona. We like the luxe all-black look, so that's a hint of good things to come! [via Fashionista]

Louis Vuitton is releasing a new jewelry collection inspired by padlocks called the Lockit Collection. [via High Snobette]

H&M has a new clothes-recycling initiative starting in February. Shoppers will be able to donate clothing -- which doesn't have to be in good condition or made by H&M -- in exchange for a discount of 15% on one item of their choice. The donated clothes will then be recycled and eventually, potentially used to make new clothing. [via Fashionista]

Screen shot 2012-12-07 at 11.32.23 AM.pngRyan McGinley shot the new campaign for Mercedez Benz Fashion Week, which features Karlie Kloss, a horse and (natch) a Merc. We're sure there's a joke here somewhere... [via Fashion Copious]

givenchy-men-prefall.jpgObsessed with the Givenchy men's pre-Fall 2013 collection! The house just released its look book, shot in a motorcycle shop. [via The Fashionisto]

Screen shot 2012-12-07 at 11.54.05 AM.png
Terry Richardson has an Instagram now. [via Terry's Diary]

f0b78f290f6165fd_0-raf.xxxlarge_1.jpgRaf Simons wants Dior to be a bit more like Chanel, with immediately recognizable mainstays. He told Vogue UK, "The Chanel woman? I don't even need to see, I smell her from round the corner, but I don't recognize the Dior woman. I want to work on that fast. Chanel has the deux-pièces with the pockets, or the bouclé, but what is it for Dior nowadays? I can't say." [via Fashionologie]

Internet Artist Adam J. Kurtz: "Tumblr Is Really Obsessed With Butts Right Now"

Artist and graphic designer Adam J. Kurtz has been making waves on the web with his tongue-in-cheek aesthetics that poke fun at internet culture. From balloons that read, "Sorry I Am Such An Asshole" to his extensive upcoming monthly subscription-based mail project, Kurtz's wide range of work proves his dedication to making Internet art that's more than just a re-bloggable image. We chatted with Kurtz about his upcoming 2013 planner, making online art tangible, and why he won't be making any cutesy butt-themed art any time soon.

Your 2012 and upcoming 2013 planner feature "another year of unsolicited advice and anecdotes." How did the idea to do such an unconventional planner come about?

I think it's a bit of a cheap shot. The idea came from the SlingShot planners, which are sort of more aligned with the punk and vegan scene and they're almost entirely hand-drawn. They're really cool and they totally embody that zine aesthetic and DIY spirit but the thing is, because it's handwritten, when you write in it it's hard to see the difference between your writing and theirs. So I had this thought: I love paper goods, that's totally my thing, and calendars are a really great gift for the holidays, so I wanted to do something that was half DIY and half legibly-designed object. So it really just started as a personal Christmas gift that I made for my friends last year. I made a few too many and posted them [for sale] on Tumblr and I got tons of emails about them. It never occurred to me that it would be something that people wanted.

mockup-graphic.jpeg It definitely does have that perfect balance: all the ordinary aspects of a planner, but with some really fun pages, like the pizza-rating page. What's your favorite part of the planner?

Actually the pizza-rating page is special to me because, when I lived in Baltimore, my old roommate and I would go to every single pizza place we could get to and we would rank them. So I sort of included that in the planners as an inside joke. There's also a sort of paper Foursquare where you can actually cut out these little badges and make them into pins. There's also a page called "Instant Gram" with squares and in the squares there are things written, like "a picture of salad" or "the sky right now." So that page is meant for you to photograph in a pinch if you don't have a particularly great sky photo for that day. There are also tons of coloring pages drawn by some of my closest, oldest friends. I know so many talented people, so to be able to loop them into the planner has been really awesome.

110_dsc0014-tiny_v2.jpeg A lot of your work carries themes of social media and having an Internet presence and it can be so hilariously relatable, like your "I Love You, But I Hate Your Twitter" buttons.

I think a lot of those little things that I make like the pins and the post-cards prints is sort of a gut reaction that I have to Internet culture. That used to be something that I would just post on Tumblr, and I've been on Tumblr for literally five and a half years. It was only more recently that I thought, hey I can take this online culture and bring it offline and sort of create a tangible object. Those pins were very much that for me. They feel like something you would tweet that would exist for two minutes and then it would disappear. Taking that offline is sort of a way to make it exist in a more tangible sense.shirt.jpeg Yeah, it seems like you really value physical design and production, like taking things from the Internet and making it into a physical version to give to people and even just through the collection of your weekly scraps. Now you're coming out with your 2013 Mail Project. Tell me more about that.

I have never been more excited about anything I've been doing. Truthfully, mail is how it all started. In 2011 I did a Postcard of the Month Club and it was a monthly membership club that started out with about five members and by the end of the year had 40. The mail project is sort of culmination of everything I want to do. It's physical; it has that element of surprise. It's also very low budget, and that's important to me in addition to aesthetics. I want everything to be affordable. You pay this amount up front and I will just make you stuff all year. It really is like a subscription to my brain. I've already designed a bunch of stuff for the project, like the t-shirt and the initial materials. The Valentine's Day postcards are done. I've got post-it notes on top of post-it notes with ideas; my mind is already racing. The mail project is this way to always keep me producing stuff; that's what I'm in it for. What I need in my life to be happy is to make postcards and zines and objects. And I retire objects so quickly because I'm always on to the next thing.wellhung-digital-03.jpegAnd you've made so many different types of things, websites to t-shirts to planners. Is there anything you haven't made yet that you're really dying to make?

I've wanted to coffee mugs for a really long time. I want to do pillow cases. I had this thing that was a one-color print of a map [to print on the pillow.] It was maybe a little too Etsy for me though. I'm always very self-aware. Sometimes there are things I want to do but I'll stop myself because it's overdone. Like, Tumblr is really obsessed with butts right now and I will never make a card that says "nice butt!" with like some squiggly drawing. It's not that I think I'm better than it, it's just that other people are doing it too. Maybe I'll eventually do a pillow though, one that screams at you to fall asleep or something. I've been getting a little edgier, a little more personal. I did an installation at a contemporary art show in September and it was called Well Hung. It was a little sexual, the humor was a little darker and more adult. I think I'm starting to head more in that direction. My goal is to sort of move on and work with some sort of agency here in New York and do bigger campaigns. I'd love to do massive shows. I would love to do a mural and build sculptural installations. I guess the short answer to your question is that I want to do everything. I think with the Internet, it's so easy to get things produced. I'll tell people, oh you made a t-shirt? Go sell it. Go print post-cards. I want to keep living with that idea in bigger and bigger ways.

Visit Adam J. Kurtz's online store here.

Promoter John Barclay On Trip House-Gate and His New Bar

555371_367980516582371_1105622914_n.jpgJohn Barclay has been heavily involved in Brooklyn's D.I.Y. rave scene since 2005, including, most recently, the sensation "Trip House" mansion on Cornelia Street in Bushwick. After Paper published photos of a party at Trip House last weekend, local real estate blog Brownstoner identified the house as a rare example of preserved 19th-century architecture, and complained that the building's "otherwise pristine original bead board walls, fireplaces, wainscotting and other 1890s details have been marred by graffiti at the hands of party-goers." (The story was later picked up by Daily Intel and Curbed.) Having spent the better part of a decade throwing warehouse parties, Barclay -- a former PAPER contributor -- is going legit with the fully-licensed Bossa Nova Civic Club, which opens in Bushwick tonight with DJ sets by Kim Anne Foxman and Steve Summers. Barclay spoke with us earlier this week about his history throwing parties, his problems with North Brooklyn nightlife, the state of Trip House, and his plans for the new venue.

How are you?
Hanging in there. We accidentally drilled into a water pipe at the bar last night so I haven't really had any sleep. Trying to get that fixed before Friday. If I can't get this done, there's gonna be a big part of my floor that's not gonna look great. I had to tear the floor up to get to this pipe. Everything was good, but I had a guy come install an ATM machine and they screw it into the ground, just these like inch-long bolts that hold it into the ground. He hit this tiny hidden water pipe and it just...


When did you start doing events at Trip House?
Our first one was about three months ago. I'm not the boss there any more, but I still help curate events there. But yeah, we started about three months ago, me and Chris Goldstein.
[Ed note: Asked for further comment about the recent coverage of Trip House, Barclay emailed this statement:

In an attempt to discredit what they view as gentrification competition, the fear-mongering Park Slope baby boomer cyber collective known as brownstoner.com and other post-yuppie media outlets have willfully distorted the Trip House situation. Certainly the photos in question document a time when the mansion had been abused at the hands of uninvited, merciless and more often than not, talentless graffiti writers. But even before the photos were published the space had undergone a massive renovation. Thanks to the valiant efforts of Trip House treasurer Oliver Vonderahe and a handful of dedicated volunteers, in the past week nearly all the uncommissioned graffiti has been removed or painted over, and the building refreshed to a condition more pristine than when it was received. For the public. This historic mansion is for everyone, not just Brooklyn's bourgeoisie bloggers. See you at the next party.]

Were you always doing events in New York?
I've been in New York for about seven years now. The first kind of D.I.Y. thing I ever did was at this spot called Boogaloo, which is now Duff's on the South Side. We threw a party there with Eamon Harkin, who's one of the guys from Mister Saturday Night. And that place actually had a liquor license, but they would stay open all night. And it ended up getting raided a couple times. 285 Kent came a lot later where we just saw a void in D.I.Y. nightlife that appealed to house music. We originally opened 285 Kent as a strictly rave kinda joint. This is like three years ago. Most of the events were house music parties like Let's Play House or Wrong Music, with a crowd that's still around doing stuff but definitely a little older and more established than the kids who are running the rave scene in Williamsburg now. I just started doing one-off things, like a series called Midnight Express for a while where we would do stuff at 285 Kent and at House of Yes. And then my partner moved and I teamed up with Chris Goldstein. But meanwhile I've been working on this new spot, Bossa Nova, for about a year and a half, which is one hundred percent fully licensed.

Is this the first time you've done something like that?
Yeah, absolutely. First time I've ever been involved in any sort of legit bar or club.

What was the hardest part of doing that?
It's really been a nightmare. It's taken us a year and a half and it's mostly like getting a liquor license is non-stop paperwork, back-and-forth bureaucracy, dealing with so many departments of the state and the city that you would never even imagine. The info they need, the health department needed proof that I don't have like outstanding child support. That's just one example of how deeply they're involved.

Have you been making a living off of promoting parties?
I would say it's more for fun, you know. On average, even the stuff at Trip House, we made a little bit of money each time but it's never like you're making a ton. D.I.Y. parties are just like, there are some people in the game, there's a more established techno crowd in the game, like Verboten and a couple of these other guys, the crowd is a little older, they can get away with charging thirty bucks at the door, but until you're at that level you're not making real money off of D.I.Y. Especially like me, I don't do stuff but maybe once or twice a month at the very most. I've supported myself through other jobs. I've bartended, I'm a journalist, which also doesn't really pay much. All types of other dumb shit.

What's the vision for the new venue?
The new spot is nineteen-hundred square feet, so the capacity is about a hundred and fifty to two hundred people. We feel that nightlife especially in North Brooklyn is kind of going away from the rye whiskey, plaid shirt, reclaimed wood vibe that's been dominating for the past, I don't know, like five years. I feel like the reclaimed wood, antiquey whiskey vibe has just kind of over-saturated North Brooklyn. We're trying to do something that's a lot more explicitly fun and, in a sense, clubby. We're not doing bottle service or anything like that, but it's centered around dancing, it's centered around entertainment, it's centered around having fun versus sitting and having a conversation. One of our biggest expenses was our sound system. The sound system we have in here is big enough for like a mega guido club, you know. We reserved a pretty big space for the DJ booth, for the dance floor, so half of our space doesn't even have seating yet. It's just open. It's for dancing. We have effect lighting. A big part of our budget is gonna go towards entertainment. Even though we're not doing a cover and we're gonna be open seven days a week, it's always gonna be like a mini kinda tropical night club.

Is there tropical decor?
A little bit. We have some brass palm trees, some banana-leaf wallpaper that was originally designed for the Beverly Hills Hotel. The place isn't explicitly themed, it's not over-the-top, it's not like you're gonna get your drink in a coconut shell or anything, but there's certainly a tropical vibe in here for sure.

Where did the name come from?
We were playing with the idea of something that would sound like a Miami hotel club. We just wanted something that conjured up ideas of tropical escapism, which is what "bossa nova" does. And then "civic club," it's called "civic club" versus "bar" because we don't necessarily view ourselves as a bar. This isn't like a spot to come just have a drink after work. It's a spot to have a real nightlife, fun experience. Even though it's not as big as a real club. It's like a destination is what we're going for.

Are you going to have bossa nova?
We're probably not going to have too much bossa nova music playing. But I'm sure from time to time we'll have something. This guy we're gonna have DJ a lot, Marcos Cabral, actually is part of Runaway, which is like a DFA music duo with Jacques Renault. I've been excited to get him do a bossa nova set in here because his dad is like a Brazilian boss nova enthusiast. He's probably the guy I know that know more about the genre than anybody else.

Gaga In Gypsy? 9 Other Pop Divas Who Should Star In Musicals

We heard a rumor yesterday that Barbra Streisand was considering Lady Gaga for a film role in her upcoming re-make of Gypsy (ostensibly to play Louise). Though it begs the question as to whether Gaga can act (and it's hard to picture her playing a character other than herself), casting a pop star in the movie version of a Broadway classic is nothing new. From Beyoncé in Dream Girls to Diana Ross in The Wiz to Madonna in Evita, Hollywood loves using a headline-grabbing singer to boost box office numbers. While we're waiting on more news to trickle out about Gaga's film debut, we've dreamed up nine other movie musicals we'd like to see starring a few of our favorite pop divas.

Screen shot 2012-12-06 at 5.06.20 PM.pngKaty Perry as Reno Sweeney in...Anything Goes
Given Perry's affinity for pin curls and sparkly gowns, she'd be a good fit for an Anything Goes remake. She's perfect for the brassy role of Reno Sweeney, but she'd need to bone up on her dancing skills. The dance-intensive role will require her to trade in her whipped cream can bra for a pair of tap dance shoes.

miley_rent.pngMiley Cyrus as Mimi Marquez in...Rent
Lately Miley's been after a grungier, more "grown-up" persona (her new 'do and engagement being the most obvious examples) and nothing says "take me seriously as an actress" than playing an HIV-positive stripper. And, yeah, yeah, we know they just made a movie version of Rent a few years ago but don't pretend you haven't seen the musical five times on Broadway, saw the movie twelve times in theaters and wouldn't buy a ticket to a midnight screening to watch Miley sing "Light My Candle."

xtina_cabaret.pngChristina Aguilera as Sally Bowles in...Cabaret
Let's be real: the painted pop star has always been two steps away from a life in the cabaret (Burlesque, anyone? "Lady Marmalade?"). And how great would it be if she debuted her rousing rendition of "Maybe This Time" before they announced the winners of The Voice? Also, a role in Cabaret would give Xtina a safe space to rock the no pants look 24/7.

selena_westsidestory.pngSelena Gomez as Maria in...West Side Story
In addition to her role in Harmony Korine's upcoming Springbreakers, Selena Gomez playing Maria in West Side Story could be a good opportunity for her to start taking more mature roles (the forbidden love of Maria and Tony is pretty steamy after all). Plus, she's a dead-ringer for Natalie Wood.

Screen shot 2012-12-06 at 5.41.53 PM.pngTaylor Swift as Ado Annie in...Oklahoma!
Ado Annie's famous song "I Can't Say No" could very well be the title track off of Taylor Swift's next album. 

Screen shot 2012-12-07 at 1.51.11 PM.pngBritney Spears as Charity Hope Valentine in...Sweet Charity
Britney hasn't shown off her "Oops!... I Did It Again"-era dance moves in way too long and we'd love to see her perform Fosse's classic choreography as the titular dancehall girl in Sweet Charity.

Screen shot 2012-12-07 at 2.10.25 PM.pngNicki Minaj as Elphaba in...Wicked
Nicki Minaj needs to add another persona to her ever-expanding repetoire. The role of Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, wouldn't be such a stretch given her affinity for heavy make-up, snarling and the color green.

Screen shot 2012-12-06 at 5.27.28 PM.pngLana Del Rey as Kim MacAfee in...Bye Bye Birdie
Stylistically, LDR is a perfect Ann Margret doppelgänger but tempermentally, the role might be a bit of stretch. Where the girlish and peppy Kim MacAfee is probably a ten on the excitement scale, Del Rey usually clocks in at a two. That said, the 1963 movie musical might be due for a rehaul. We say hire someone like Lee Daniels (Precious, The Paperboy) to direct, transform Bye Bye Birdie into a brooding arthouse film and slap LDR's name above the
marquee. Potential teenage infidelity never got so raw.

Screen shot 2012-12-06 at 4.54.49 PM.png
Ke$ha as Any Role in...Cats
Just look at her!

GIFs: Melty Cheese + More ...

Welcome to our Friday GIF roundup, featuring a curated list of this week's most important, amusing and/or newsy GIFs and GIF sets by Mike Hayes of BuzzFeed and GIFHound.

A mixed bag this week. Let's get to it!

It's been entirely too long since we had a good melty cheese GIF. [thedorseyshawexperience]

This lady didn't know who Jay-Z was, and that was adorable. [GIF HOUND]

If there was any doubt left that you should just stay out of Lebron James way, this GIF takes care of that.

Alan Simpson doing Gangnam style with a giant can. Yep. [BuzzFeed]

RIP Dave Brubeck. The jazz titan passed away this week at the age of 91. [GLITGLIT]

This is actually the only GIF of nutty John McAfee I've seen on the internet this week. [Qil.Me]

Unless you count this GIF of McAfee being deported by catapult. [Next Media Animation]

NASA released some images of city lights seen from space. NASA is awesome. Space is awesome. [Infinity-Imagined]

Currently trying to track down the person behind Roberta's Tumblr.

And finally, Grumpy Cat.

5 Reasons To Not Look Forward to Chanukah


I used to be proud to celebrate Chanukah. I'd teach my friends how to spin a dreidel. I'd belt out the Chanukah songs (each one in D harmonic minor) at my grammar school's annual holiday programs. Christmas was, by comparison, so conventional. But this year, I couldn't muster any enthusiasm for the holiday. Here's why.

1. Nobody knows when it is. Seriously, did you know before clicking on this article that Hanukkah starts tomorrow night? Which means this year kids are in school for all eight days. Many are no doubt taking finals. (Next year, it starts before Thanksgiving, so at least you'll get class off.)

2. Nobody knows how to spell it. At least Google accepts different spellings, but I still had to pause and think each time I typed the holiday's name in this post.

3. Nobody actually gives eight days of presents. Do you know how much that would cost? It's usually more like three days of presents, by which time you can't remember how many candles to put in the menorah hanukiah, so why bother? [image via the Shiksa]

4. "The Chanukah Song." The most famous pop song about Hanukkah isn't even about the holiday, but is just a list of people who probably don't know a shamash from the Chumash. To put this in context, imagine if a Christian comic (say, Sandler's SNL castmate and proud conservative Victoria Jackson) had recorded something called "The Christmas Song."

5. The Hasmonean dynasty. As Christopher Hitchens pointed out, the same rebels whom Chanukah commemorates became vicious tyrants once in power.

Just something to think about when you're slaving away grating potatoes for the latkes that will just boost your cholesterol, and gambling away all your money at the dreidel.

Friday Superlatives: The Best, Worst and Weirdest of the Week

Screen shot 2012-12-07 at 5.32.16 PM.pngThing That Most Made Me Feel Like It's Time to Get My AARP Card and Start Dog-Earing Low-Sodium Recipes in Family Circle Magazine: Our Trip House photo gallery by Rebecca Smeyne. I was both horrified, confuse, delighted and felt crazy-old looking at those pics. -- Elizabeth Thompson

Best Way to Find New Reading Material: The Millions' annual feature A Year in Reading, where acclaimed authors and literary personalities name their favorite book of the year. They started rolling out the suggestions for 2012 this week. -- Max Kessler

Best Holiday Décor We Saw All Week: A businessman wearing kelly green corduroy pants with Santas printed all over them sitting across from us on the subway. -- Abby Schreiber

Screen shot 2012-12-07 at 5.27.52 PM.pngBest Reading All Week: Vanity Fair's Freaks and Geeks oral history, although it needed to be about ten times longer. -- Jonah Wolf

The NYC Art Show That Will Help You Forget You're Bummed About Not Being at Basel: IRL_URL exhibit at Williamsburg's Muchmore's -- AS

8909771_600x338.jpgBiggest Surprise of the Week: The fact that we actually enjoyed the new video for John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John's Christmas song! -- ET

Best Concert All Week: Jef Lee Johnson and the Ohnos at Douglass Street Music Collective last night -- JW

Screen shot 2012-12-07 at 5.25.59 PM.pngThe Person We Read About This Week Whom We Most Want to Meet: SunRay Kelley, a shoeless, "herbal palliative"-smoking architect who designs fantastical, unwieldy-looking houses in Washington state and was recently profiled in the Times. -- AS [Photo via the New York Times]

Best Thing to Come Out of Fifty Shades of Grey's Insane Popularity: All Random House employees received $5,000 holiday bonuses this year. -- ET