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See A$AP Rocky in a Teaser Trailer for New Film Dope


To put it one way, the trailer for Dope looks dope (sorry). Directed by Rick Famuyiwa, Dope is a tale about a nerdy teenager, played by Shameik Moore, who loves 90s hip-hop -- and dressing the part -- in one of the toughest neighborhoods in Inglewood, California. For the film, the director enlisted some real hip-hop stars to inhabit the world of Dope, including A$AP Rocky in a supporting role and cameos from Odd Future, A$AP Mob, and Joey Bada$$'s Pro Era, according to Entertainment Weekly -- you can even spot Workaholics' Blake Anderson in the trailer. Pharrell also contributed four new songs to the Dope soundtrack. Watch the trailer, above, and a Q&A with the director, below.

premieres at Sundance, which starts tomorrow.

Taking It All Off With the Warwick Rowers (NSFW)

Meaningful discussions about homophobia and bullying are few and far between in the world of organized and professional sports. Despite a handful of professional athletes coming out in recent years -- and straight players speaking out as allies of the LGBT community -- anti-gay sentiments from public sports figures and coaches remains a depressingly familiar thing. UK rowing team the Warwick Rowers, however, are out to challenge the stereotype of the homophobic "sports bro" by taking it all off for a cause. Since 2012, the rowing team, which has included straight and openly gay members over the years, have been posing for a nude calendar from which proceeds go to their charity, Sports Allies. The organization offers support to children who are affected by homophobia and bullying and researches homophobia in sports. The stunning calendar images from photographer Angus Malcolm capture goofy locker room antics, team bonding and playful frolicking, all in the buff. We did our own shoot with a few of the rowers for Papermag.com, and though our photos by Rodolfo Martinez are safe for work, we've also included some additional exclusive nudes shot just for Papermag.com by Malcolm. Check out the photos below and buy your calendar here.

WARWICK-ROWERS-092.jpg(L-R): Thomas wears jeans by Seven, Matt wears jeans by Seven, Laurence wears jeans by Adriano Goldschmied and Oliver wears jeans by Seven. All wear underwear by Calvin Klein.

WARWICK-ROWERS-106.jpg (L-R): Thomas wears jeans by Seven, Matt wears jeans by Seven, Laurence wears jeans by Adriano Goldschmied and Oliver wears jeans by Seven. All wear underwear by Calvin Klein.

WARWICK-ROWERS-234-Edit-crop.jpg(L-R): Laurence wears jeans by Adriano Goldschmied, Matt wears jeans by Seven, Thomas wears jeans by Seven and Oliver wears jeans by Seven. All wear underwear by Calvin Klein.

WARWICK-ROWERS-306.jpg(L-R): Laurence wears jeans by Adriano Goldschmied, Oliver wears jeans by Seven. Both wear underwear by Calvin Klein.

WARWICK-ROWERS-383.jpg(L-R) Thomas and Matt wear jeans by Seven and underwear by Calvin Klein.

WARWICK-ROWERS-474.jpg (L-R): Laurence wears a t-shirt by Adriano Goldschmied and a jacket by Guess. Oliver wears a shirt by Armani Exchange a jacket by Guess.

WARWICK-ROWERS-485.jpg (L-R): Laurence wears a t-shirt by Adriano Goldschmied and a jacket by Guess. Oliver wears a shirt by Armani Exchange a jacket by Guess.

WARWICK-ROWERS-541-Edit.jpg(L-R) Thomas wears a sweater by Gap, jeans by Seven and a jacket by Gant, Oliver wears a shirt by Armani Exchange, jeans by Seven, a jacket by Guess, Laurence wears a t-shirt and jeans by Adriano Goldschmied and a jacket by Guess, Matt wears a shirt by Armani Exchange, jeans by Seven and a jacket by Guess.

WARWICK-ROWERS-716.jpg (L-R) Matt and Thomas wear jackets by Guess, jeans by Seven and underwear by Calvin Klein.

WARWICK-ROWERS-694.jpg (L-R) Laurence and Oliver.




Allie X Finally Made a "Catch" Video and It is Mind-Blowing

In the year and two days since she posted "Catch" on Soundcloud, the pop persona known as Allie X has never, to my knowledge, revealed her eyes. In that song's video, directed by Jérémie Saindon and debuted on Dazed and Confused yesterday, the opaque glasses come off in seconds, and while that's sinking in she flashes past as the Visible Woman, her torso and half her face flayed; before the first chorus, she's lying in the middle of a pile of pale, naked bodies. If this isn't the boldest, most oddly beautiful unveiling in recent pop history, I have no idea what is. Down to the last shot, the video is a riot of twitching layers, smashing-cutting from cold and stylized to jarringly intimate. Mysterious alter egos are delicate things, their seductive power easily broken with the wrong balance of revealing and withholding; here, X reveals a lot, but far more questions are opened than answered. This must be what dissecting a live unicorn is like.

CollXtion I, the first proper Allie X release, will appear in April, featuring the three songs she's posted on Soundcloud and four new ones. Watch the "Catch" video, above, and check out X's interactive "Xart" project here.

Models Rocked Out With Their Cocks Out at Rick Owens' Fall Mens Show

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 12.32.16 PM.png[Photos via]

Sorry Kim and Nicki, the butt might be passé. If Rick Owens has any say, the newest buzzy erogenous zone is...the penis. No, not a bulge like Justin Bieber's or Nick Jonas' but, like, actual twigs and berries. During the designer's Fall mens show in Paris today, Owens sent a handful of models down the runway in his now-signature draped, sleeveless tunics with cut-outs in the crotch area and up-to-there hemlines. While most of the photos remain PG (above), several quick-thinking audience members managed to grab NSFW shots of the models' dicks peeking out while they were marching down the catwalk. While it's still too early for most of the reviews to be out, William Van Meter, writing for The Cut, interpreted the ballsy (sorry) design to a larger religiosity element, saying the whole effect was "mysterious, like [Owens] sending out bold fertility gods." Or Owens was just trying to #BreakTheInternet. One or the other.

See NSFW photos, below.

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 12.01.36 PM.png[Photo via]

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 12.02.24 PM.png[Photo via]

Watch Ellie Kemper in a Trailer for Tina Fey's Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt


Fans of 30 Rock and The Office, rejoice! Our second favorite TV secretary Ellie Kemper is back as a the star of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. In the new Netflix original series, Kemper plays a totally normal cult-survivor trying to make it in New York. Created by 30 Rock's Tina Fey and Robert Carlock and co-starring Jane Krakowski, the show makes its streaming debut on March 6th. Get ready for the impending binge watch by watching the trailer, above.

You Need to See Aubrey Plaza's Anti-Ad Ads

aubrey-plaza-cow-hed-2015.jpgIn addition to being a master prank caller, Aubrey Plaza is a national treasure. Like Totinos pizza boys Tim and Eric, Plaza has brought her comedic charm to the world of advertising -- and it's all the better for it. While the anti-advertising tactic is nothing new and ultimately still serves to sell you things (Newcastle has even done this before), Aubrey Plaza is certainly a damn delight in these ads.

In the first video, Aubrey Plaza takes on the ridiculousness of Super Bowl ads and promotes Newcastle's campaign to get a "band of brands" together to collectively buy an ad spot during the big game. The second ad is pretty much the same thing, plus a cow, milk maid braids, and even more sarcasm -- which Aubrey Plaza asserts is "just how she sounds." Watch Aubrey Plaza, world's worst/best spokeswoman, below.

Here's the Chic Butt Plug Accessory You've Been Waiting For

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 1.30.55 PM.png
Image via The Cut

Belgian designer Walter Van Beirendonck has finally brought us the elegant and fashionable statement accessory of the season. In his latest collection, Beirendonck featured butt plug lapel pins and necklaces based on artist Paul McCarthy's controversial sculptures, among other overt statements like tops embellished with the saying, "Stop terrorizing our world." 

Rick Owen's recent showing forced us to ask the pressing question, "Has the year of the butt made way for the year of the penis?" However, we should have known that the booty is fashionably forever.

[h/t The Cut]

Drake's Dad Is Starting a Music Career and We Can't Wait


Stop everything and just feel blessed because Dennis Graham AKA The Real Dennis G AKA Drake's dad is going to start making music.

Unbeknownst to most normal people who do not keep tabs on Drake's dad, the Memphis Flyer cover star has been planning his music career for a while now. According the local magazine's cover story, where he waxes poetic about the life he could have had as a musician, the elder Graham has a history of playing music professionally and wants to pick that up again. From the Memphis Flyer:

Graham reaches to turn on his sound system. His car, his music. He turns the dial, and the music gets loud.

It's a new song Graham wants to release featuring Drake, his son.

Graham never became the musician he dreamed he would be, the musician his son eventually became. And he's okay with that now. When Drake was a little boy, he bet $5 he'd do more television and more music than his daddy ever did. He was right, and when he came to Memphis for a show, a proud father gave his millionaire son $5.

"I don't want to be that big star now," Graham says. "I want him to stay the star."

But now his son's fame has turned him into something of a star, anyway. Graham stole the show in Drake's music video for "Worst Behavior," and toured with Drake and Lil Wayne last summer. When Drake asked his father to sing at his yet unplanned wedding, Graham said yes. He seems happy being dad, and Drake seems happy having one.

But he's excited about this single, about how big a hit it might become and how many more people might get to know his name. There will be no more free interviews after this, he says.

Based on this interview and his Instagram alone, The Real Dennis G is clearly caught between being thirsty as hell and being a supportive dad -- and it looks like his thirst won out. He just finished recording his first single, "Kinda Crazy," which sadly does not feature Drake. Instead, it features a local Memphis rapper Ze Monroe, who responded to Dennis Graham's open call: "I am in search of a classy female rapper to collaborate with me on my new single, not looking for ghetto style rapper serious inquiries only please DM me."

Oh boy. We can only wait to see how this crazy, classy collaboration turned out.

10 Actors and Directors to Watch At This Year's Sundance Film Festival

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 11.13.49 AM.pngShameik Moore in Dope (right)
1. Shameik Moore

Unless you're an embittered fan of the now-cancelled Cartoon Network sketch-comedy show, Incredible Crew, you might not know this 19-year-old actor. But Shameik Moore will be poised for big things after nabbing the lead role as a black nerd who's obsessed with 90s hip-hop in present day Inglewood, California in Dope, which will make its premiere at Sundance. With a supporting cast that includes A$AP Rocky and a soundtrack that features four new Pharrell songs, Dope is already gaining tons of buzz as a festival favorite.

unexpected-2.jpgAnders Holm in Unexpected (left)
2. Anders Holm  

Like us, you might be staring at the above picture in disbelief but yes, that's Anders Holm as a floppy haired dad-to-be with a mustache. This might be a slight shock if you're used to seeing him pull sharp objects out of his ass on Workaholics or as Mindy's beat boxing fiance on The Mindy Project, but we promise, it's him. Holm might have a background in improv and absurd comedy, but now he's taking on a more understated role alongside How I Met Your Mother's Cobie Smulders in Kris Swanberg's (wife of mumblecore director Joe Swanberg) new feature, Unexpected. After appearing in Chris Rocks' acclaimed Top Five, this might just be the start of Anders Holm: Serious Actor.

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 11.49.58 AM.pngRick Alverson
3. Rick Alverson

Film nerds can attest that Rick Alverson is definitely a director to know. Alverson's 2013 breakthrough film The Comedy, starring Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, was a dark and polarizing Sundance favorite. For his next film, Entertainment, Alverson draws from that same pool of anti-comedy, casting Tim Heidecker-collaborator Gregg Turkington as a washed up comic who goes on one last tour across the Mojave Desert, hoping to find his estranged daughter. John C. Riley, Michael Cera, and Heidecker also star in the film, which is sure to be an absurdly surreal ride.

the-diary-of-a-teenage-girl-image-600x347.jpgBel Powley (left)

4. Bel Powley

Bel Powley is a 22-year-old British actress who is about to make her American debut alongside Kristen Wiig and True Blood's Alexander Skarsgard in The Diary of a Teenage Girl, based on the graphic novel of the same name. Directed by first-time director Marielle Heller, the film follows a 15-year-old comic book artist living in 1970s San Francisco who has an affair with her mother's boyfriend. As we know, teen girls rule everything, so we wouldn't be surprised if this film becomes a cult hit with Bel Powley as its breakout star.

mari-heller.jpg5. Marielle Heller

Which brings us to The Diary of Teenage Girl writer-director Marielle Heller, who we automatically fell in love with when she told Variety earlier this month, "I'm interested in character-driven women's stories -- and all stories -- telling them in ambitious and crazy ways that other people might think are insane." Heller, who is the sister of comedian Emily Heller and wife to Jorma Taccone of former Paper cover stars The Lonely Island, says she was determined to make the movie after reading the graphic novel it's based on. (She also starred in an off-Broadway adaptation in 2010). Heller's got some additional writing projects going as well, co-writing an ABC pilot about food-obsessed twenty-something friends in New York. Fingers crossed we can soon thank her for bringing snackwave to prime time television.
Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 2.18.23 PM.pngVia Instagram.

6. Asa Butterfield

You might recognize Butterfield from his roles in big blockbusters including Martin Scorsese's delightful 2011 ode to Georges Méliès, Hugo, or last summer's sci-fi thriller Ender's Game, but Butterfield is poised to shine even brighter in the indie Ten Thousand Saints.  Based on the novel by Eleanor Henderson, Butterfield stars as Jude, a wayward teeange boy who is sent to live with his father (Ethan Hawke) in the quickly gentrifying East Village of 1987. Jude is adopted by the growing straight-edge/hardcore scene, hanging out at CBGBs, raging against yuppies, the police and everything else you'd hate if you were a punk rock teen in late-'80s downtown New York. With his dark features and otherworldly eyes, Butterfield's next role is, unsurprisingly, in a Tim Burton movie. Look out for him in Burton's upcoming adaption of Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children.

olivia-cooke-ben-hur.jpg7.  Olivia Cooke

Magnetic British actress Olivia Cooke, who Bates Motel fans know as the cystic fibrosis-stricken Emma Decody and One Direction fans know as Girl-Who-Gets-a-Piggyback-Ride-From-Harry-Styles in the "Autumn Term" video, shaved all her hair off for her role as a cancer patient in Me & Earl & The Dying Girl. The movie, about a boy (Thomas Mann) whose mother (person-we-wish-we-were, Connie Britton) forces him to befriend a former Hebrew school classmate with leukemia (Cooke), may sound like dying-teen schmaltz, but don't dismiss it just yet. Cooke tells the Verge, "Everyone's saying: Is it like The Fault in Our Stars? But it's completely different. My film isn't a love story; it's about friendship. And it feels a lot more raw." We're sold.

joshmond.jpgJosh Mond (center)

8. Josh Mond

One-third of the Brooklyn-based Borderline Films -- the crew responsible for films like Martha Marcy May Marlene, Afterschool and Simon Killer (the other two members are Antonio Campos and Sean Durkin) -- Mond makes his directorial debut with James White, a movie starring Christopher Abbott as a self-destructive young man grappling with his mother's serious illness. The film also sees Cynthia Nixon as the mother and Ron Livingston and Scott "Kid Cudi" Mescudi in as-yet-unannounced supporting roles.

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 2.29.48 PM.png9. Lola Kirke

Jemima's little sister first came to our attention with her lead role in Amazon's new show Mozart In the Jungle and a scene-stealing part in Gone Girl, and now the 23-year-old actress stars opposite Greta Gerwig in Noah Baumbach's latest film, Mistress America. Kirke plays Tracy, a solitary college freshman in New York City who gets swept up in whirlwind adventures, thanks to her soon-to-be-stepsister, Brooke (Gerwig).

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 2.32.08 PM.png
10. Christopher Abbott

We were pretty bummed when Abbott left Girls and suddenly Charlie was 'building furniture in Austin' but the actor's put his new free agency to use. 2014 saw him appearing in A Most Violent Year and 2015's got the actor playing the titular role in Josh Mond's James White (see above). The momentum we predict he'll get after the film screens at Sundance will come in handy when promoting his next project, Criminal Activities, a film about four young men who find themselves in trouble with the mob and that also stars Dan Stevens (Downton Abbey), Michael Pitt (Boardwalk Empire) and John Travolta.

Ryan Hemsworth's "Too Long Here" Video Shows the Dark Side of Selfies


Ryan Hemsworth has a new video out today for his lush Alone For the First Time track, "Too Long Here," which features vocals by shoegaze-y, Philly-based singer-songwriter Alex G. In the clip we watch a young woman wandering around what appears to be Chicago taking selfies on the El and inside stores. Her little idyll gets interrupted when she inadvertently stumbles on a bunch of her doppelgangers participating in some kind of occult ritual inside a loft. Give the video a watch, above.

10 Lifetime Biopics We Don't Ever Want To See

A life marked with both triumph and sensationalism seems to be a guaranteed recipe for a TV movie, but as much as Lifetime had every right to make flicks delving into the lives of doomy pop superstars Aaliyah and Whitney Houston, as they did recently, there must be a line drawn somewhere. I adamantly refuse to let them allow the following icky projects to be green lit:

shia-labeouf.jpgWhere's LaBeouf?: Shia's Life, Loves, and Losses

The defiant film star's real-life antics make millions of people cringe on a regular basis. Just the idea of putting them all together into a teleflick makes for some extra special squirming and retching -- though it would be an Emmy winner compared to Two and a Half Inches: The Charlie Sheen Story.

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 5.55.23 PM.pngAmy Winehouse: I Said "No!"
There's no one alive who could capture the raw brilliance of this poignantly self-destructive singer, except maybe Adele, and that would be too much of a stretch, casting-wise. I say no! And there isn't enough powdered sugar in Burbank to really do this film properly.

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 6.01.44 PM.pngToo Soon?: The Sad Farewell of Joan Rivers
"Too soon" indeed. The doctor's alleged selfie of unconscious Joan should be the last exploitive image ever perpetrated of this legendary woman. A movie just wouldn't work -- the 50-something lady comics who'd be angling to get the role would look too old for it!

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 6.02.48 PM.pngGo Ask Alice: The Rise and Fall of Ann B. Davis
There's simply no juice here -- or at least none that anyone would cop to -- so the result would be a tepid affair filled with a lot of sweeping and kvetching. But if they somehow made it anyway, Jane Lynch would be good, if tall, in the part.

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 6.11.51 PM.pngHeath Ledger: The Joker Is Wild
No! Just no! This would be a dark knight indeed, even with those ageless Olsen twins as themselves. This "Joker" would be completely mirthless and oh so wrong.

enron_taking_the_fifth-1.jpgMonica Lewinsky: Down By Law
Again, Adele would be good, and Meryl Streep, fresh off Into The Woods, could do a fierce Linda Tripp. But the Gap wouldn't want that kind of product placement, and the whole thing would undoubtedly reopen wounds while hurting Hillary's chances for President. So let's keep this under the table, OK?

Amanda Bynes: Figure It Out
While Amanda's bizarre pronouncements, hair designs, and legal run-ins would no doubt provide fodder for riveting drama, you just know they'd cast Lindsay Lohan as the troubled pop tart and that could make her go all cuckoo crazy again. Let's not do this to Lindsay -- or to ourselves. Leave Lindsay...no, leave me alone!

cats-lauren-bacall.jpgPut Your Lips Together: Lauren Bacall, Screen Siren
I'm still scarred from the 2000 TV movie with Jennifer Love Hewitt as Audrey Hepburn. Let's not risk more trauma in the name of glamma. And face it, there's no young actress around who could elicit Betty Bacall's steamy sensuality -- and even if they tried, they'd probably have to get Harvey Fierstein to dub the gravelly voice. Forget it. Let her enjoy "the big sleep."

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 6.28.05 PM.pngFrom Lesbian Daughter To Straight Son: The Chaz Bono Story
I get extremely nervous when movies go near trans issues. Besides, I don't want to stand around as some actor is applauded for unbelievable bravery because he dared to dress as a woman in the first half of the movie. (Or a female actor dressed as a man in the second half.) The courage lies in the real person involved. For everyone else, it's just chutzpah.

tumblr_lqef5y5vZy1qcw9y0o1_500.jpgShamu: A Whale Of A Gal
The original Shamu was "the first orca to survive more than 13 months in captivity." Her legacy shouldn't have to survive a cheesy TV movie! And I don't even want to hear the bad jokes about who should play the part. No, really. Well, maybe.

Karl Lagerfeld: You Have A Lot of Explaining to Do

Hey, Karl! We know you're probably busy sending faxes and being a fashion icon and all that, but can we talk about something? It'll only take one second.

Remember that time when you said, and we quote, "I hate selfies" and then you told your favorite male model's five-year-old son, who previously loved selfies with a carefree abandon, "Don't use your film for ugly purpose." 






Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 5.05.13 PM.pngIs this... Are you... Are you taking a selfie?

Karl Otto Lagerfeld, you have quite a lot of explaining to do.

After that New York Times Magazine profile, we really thought that we had gotten to know the real you. But it turns out that all we know are real LIES.


It's like... we don't even know who you are anymore.

Karl: unless you can confirm that this is, in fact, a wax figure that you use as a stand-in whenever people want to take selfies with you, we're going to have a lot of trust issues to work out.

And ultimately, Karl, it's totally okay to love selfies. It's even okay to admit that you love selfies. Loving selfies = loving yourself. So, when you're ready to be honest with us, we'll be right here. 

Watch "Still Life," a VHS Orgy from Wavves Brother Act Spirit Club


You had me at "Saved By the Bell on mangled videocassette." Throughout Spirit Club's "Still Life" video, Zack Morris, Bart and Lisa Simpson, Freddy Krueger, Vanilla Ice and others strobe over masks (skulls, Narcissister?), waves and a hooded henchman playing a guitar. This is the Ludovico Technique updated for children of the George H.W. Bush era, or just an uncannily accurate portrait of my own mind. Either way, the song is all lofi-jangle and woozy harmony -- further proof that Wavves' Nathan Williams, who announced this band last fall and who shares it with his brother Joel and Jeans Wilder, knows his way around a song.

Watch the video, above, and look out for a Spirit Club surprise on Valentine's Day.

Lena Dunham, Judd Apatow and Maria Bamford Open Up About OCD on The Late Late Show


Late night talk shows are usually a playground for silly bits and celebrity promotion, but The Late Late Show got serious last night. With Judd Apatow in the role of guest-host, the director brought along friends Lena Dunham, Adam Sandler, and Maria Bamford and they quickly got into a discussion about living with OCD.

Anyone who's read Lena Dunham's memoir knows that the Girls star struggled with odd proclivities growing up, but Maria Bamford and Judd Apatow also reveal their personal experiences with OCD -- and Adam Sandler attempts to relate, sharing a story about how OCD impacted the late Chris Farley. As Judd Apatow himself points out in the clip, all four guests engage in what could pretty accurately be summed up as OCD Olympics, one-upping each other's tales of growing up with mental illness.

In the end, Maria Bamford was declared the "winner" of the discussion, although we're not exactly sure what the prize is here. Watch the four funny people talk OCD, above.

Watch Sleater-Kinney Perfectly Explain The Riot Grrrl Movement in 20-Seconds


For your feminist boot camp reference files: Sleater-Kinney's Corin Tucker and Carrie Brownstein took to PBS NewsHour to helpfully explain riot grrrl in 20-seconds -- the optimal time length for looping the video and playing it continuously, forever.

Tucker uses her words to patiently explain the 90s DIY, feminist movement that Sleater-Kinney originally helped to define, while Carrie Brownstein goes with a more demonstrative method: primal screaming and punching. Watch the clip, above.

Joey Bada$$ Says the Government Tapped His Phones After the Malia Obama Photo Leak


2013 Paper beautiful person and hater of tofu Joey Bada$$ and his Pro Era crew received enormous press attention a few weeks back when a photo of Malia Obama wearing a Pro Era t-shirt leaked online. Sasha will inevitably beat Malia out as Coolest First Daughter Ever any day now because she's Sasha and, excuse me, are you even talking to her, but in the meantime Malia reigns supreme, case closed. Bada$$ appeared on Sway's radio show Wednesday to discuss his new, perfectly titled album B4.DA.$$, as well as the media's response to the photo leak and, he feels, its general misrepresentation of him as an anti-white, police-hating Marxist. He also mentions that his phone has been tapped by the feds since the leak and that he can't sleep at night because he can hear the clicks. Oh my god, what if this is all a cover-up for the fact that Joey Bada$$ is secretly dating Malia and Obama is just looking out for his first-born daughter? What if because I've posted that sentence on the Internet Obama starts tapping PAPER'S PHONES? Or what if he's already tapping our phones? Because they DO click. Please don't judge me for how much I order Schnippers and call my mom crying, Mr. President. I've just been under a lot of stress lately. Oh god, what have we done?

Diplo Said Some Crazy Shit About Taylor Swift

Screen Shot 2015-01-23 at 12.53.41 PM.pngBack in November, Diplo made the highly dubious choice to tweet "Someone should make a kickstarter to get taylor swift a booty." To his fans, it was a tasteless joke but to the Taylor Swift army -- or 'Swifties' -- it was an example of inappropriate and offensive body-shaming. Wonderfully, Lorde jumped in to defend her BFF and tweeted to Diplo "should we do something about your tiny penis while we're at it hm" and that was that.

Or so we thought.

In a new interview with GQ, the mega producer reveals exactly what it's been like to incur the mighty wrath of the Swifties since that incident. "Taylor Swift fans are really crazy," he says. "They threatened to murder me and stuff. It's really bizarre and disgusting. They're the worst people in the world...these people are like mean-spirited, evil human beings."


"They're like, 'I wish your kids had Down syndrome.'"

Wow...whoa...hold up...yikes.

And, according to Diplo, it may only be a matter of time before their words turn into actions.

"[Taylor's] powers -- she's big. She's strong, bro," he tells GQ. "I know lots of secrets. I can't divulge, but I know a lot of stuff about her. And she's definitely, there's definitely scary stuff going on. And I'm scared. I'm scared for my life."

So is it safe to assume that Jay and Bey have formally inducted Tay into the Illuminati?

How Former Top Male Model Steven Lyon is Taking on Something That Matters

20150106092744-Steven_walking_in_the_village.jpg Steven Lyon has been around photography and filmmaking his entire career. First, as a hugely successful model and more recently as a photographer and filmmaker himself. For his first feature film, Lyon is taking on Something that Matters, a documentary that focuses on the near-extinct African rhino.

A 2012 safari to South Africa served as the inspiration behind the documentary and reignited Lyon's childhood dream of encountering lions, elephants and rhinos up close. On the trip, he and his safari guide ended up breaking the rules and going out on foot to come face-to-face with the majestic one-horned beast, the rhino, which Lyon quickly learned was being poached to extinction. Lyon's guide also told him about a 1000 km trek through the bush to raise awareness of Rhino poaching in Africa. That's when the former male model decided to document the journey through the bush and do his part to educate as many people as he could about the rhino's dire poaching situation.

Now Lyon has started an Indiegogo campaign in order to raise funds to finish Something That Matters. "If I can make a film to inspire people to take a stand and demand their government to take action," Lyon says, "well, that's how this film can and will save the lives of the rhinos."

This 1995 Video Shows an Unrecognizable Lower East Side


When we were interviewing subjects for our oral history of former Ludlow-street-staple Max Fish last year, the image they painted of the Lower East Side, especially in its less-dangerous, more populated '90s iteration, was that of an artists' haven where decades-old neighborhood businesses still existed among new galleries, bars, restaurants and shops. Interviewee and Paper senior editor Carlo McCormick described it as follows:

It went from abandonment to being a strip. For a bunch of years, it didn't seem so bad. Everyone was opening up a business There were these little indie stores on Ludlow  -- girls who made dresses. Stuff like that. And then it just got more crowded and less pleasant. I remember people really parsing it out too, like around the time Motor City bar moved into the neighborhood -- you'd hear people saying things like, " Oh, I live on lower Ludlow now, it's much cooler than upper Ludlow."  I'd say it was over when Billy Corgan moved upstairs from Max Fish and spent $10,000 putting in new floors in a tenement apartment.

A new video of Ludlow in 1995 unearthed by Gothamist captures this, some would say, more idyllic time, before the neighborhood was brought to its knees by light-speed development  and Billy Corgan had the nerve to rip out some old linoleum. Watch as host Ronnie DeMonarco stops by the Nada avant-garde theater (which would later become early-aughts hookup palace The Dark Room), a pillow shop that had been there since 1922, a non-traditional bridal shop, and Aaron Rose's Alleged Gallery, where the late Harold Hunter can be seen discussing the convergence of skateboarding and art.

5 Food Tumblrs We're Currently Obsessed With

Whether your New Year's resolution was to save money, eat healthy, or just completely not give a fuck and eat ALL THE SNACKS in 2015, these five food Tumblrs are here to enable you.

Screen Shot 2015-01-23 at 2.29.56 PM.png1. Pizza Brains

Pizza, as we all know, is the best food: it's cheap, convenient, and scientifically perfect. Unless you're some kind of weird freak, you don't even have to use utensils to consume it. Pizza = happiness. Pizza Brains = maximum happiness. When you're not eating pizza, you can still look at pizza all the time on your new favorite Tumblr. So just sit back, relax, and let Pizza Brains encourage your full blown pizza addiction.

tumblr_nftcc96Wqo1rcvl68o5_r1_1280.jpg2. Diner Porn

After just one look at all the beautifully shot, gratuitous plates of impossibly fluffy pancakes and stacked burgers, you'll understand why this blog is called "Diner Porn." The food and the charming diners that the writer/photographer duo, Alecia Eberhardt and Tom Smith visit are equally lust-worthy. And good news for New Yorkers: all the amazing diners they explore are only a drive away.

tumblr_ne408152jS1tmqowwo4_1280.jpg3. Office Snack Hacks

Here's a blog for those of you who have made it your goal to spend less in the new year. New York is an expensive city to live in (duh), so why waste money on fancy snacks and eating out when you can totally do it on the cheap. Bloggers Ori and Emily put Buzzfeed's infamous snack hacks to the test and show you what works and what doesn't. DIY snackers, rejoice.  

tumblr_nebrbq9ABY1qcx46no1_1280.jpg4. Gentrifried Chicken

While the blog's name is an accurately harsh pun, Gentrifried Chicken is a great way to plan your next road trip around the best fried chicken spots in the United States. From Birds & Bubbles, right here on the Lower East Side, to Astro Doughnuts and Fried Chicken in Washington (we want to go to there), this blog's got you covered.

tumblr_niergrZ6EG1qacw0uo1_1280.jpg5. The Cheap, The Best, and The Hidden

Here's another blog to help you track down the best dives for good food in NYC. With The Cheap, The Best, and The Hidden you can finally trade Chobani for GREECOLOGIES, a new greek yogurt place in Little Italy. You can also count on this blog to tell you what to get where, so you can feel confident exploring off-beat restaurants in every corner of the city.