Beyoncé-Jay Z Divorce News, Part 27,000: Rumors of a split were all a stunt! To drum up ticket sales for the couple's 'On the Run' tour! Duh!
Or, at least, so says Mathew Knowles (a.k.a. Beyoncé's dad), in a new radio interview with a Houston station. While he doesn't totally, totally come out and say it, he implies as much when he says things like "Sometimes [rumors] ignite that tour. It's called a 'jedi mind trick.' The 'jedi mind trick' fools you a lot of times. Things you see sometimes are [poof noise]." When the DJ brings up The Elevator Incident, Knowles says, "All I know is the 'jedi mind trick': everybody's talking about it, ticket sales went up, Solange's album sales went up 200%."
But wait, wait, wait: is he just expertly trolling us?
If America's First Couple really are calling it quits, wouldn't he probably be inclined to deny those rumors to protect his daughter and her privacy (and the only plausible denial the family can use at this point is that the Carters are so media savvy they created the damn rumor themselves)?
But honestly if you think too hard about who's trolling who in this scenario, you'll lose all sense of reality, your head will explode and the Beygency will come sweep up your remains.
It's worth pointing out that the rest of the short interview is just as cuckoo: Knowles has a rant about people misspelling his name ("Most of the time they put two 'T's in it and there's only one 'T' in Mathew! Can everybody get that right? It's one 'T'! It's M-A-T-H-E-R [Ed note: uh, R?], the Jewish version of it"), gives a shoutout to TMZ head honcho Harvey Levin ("Hey, Harvey! Whassup dog?"), and coyly intimates that there might be a Destiny's Child reunion happening next year.
One of these days Bravo's gotta do a show about Dad-Managers and get Mathew "One T" Knowles, Joe Simpson, and Billy Ray Cyrus living together in a McMansion in, like, Calabasas.
[h/t Dlisted]
Or, at least, so says Mathew Knowles (a.k.a. Beyoncé's dad), in a new radio interview with a Houston station. While he doesn't totally, totally come out and say it, he implies as much when he says things like "Sometimes [rumors] ignite that tour. It's called a 'jedi mind trick.' The 'jedi mind trick' fools you a lot of times. Things you see sometimes are [poof noise]." When the DJ brings up The Elevator Incident, Knowles says, "All I know is the 'jedi mind trick': everybody's talking about it, ticket sales went up, Solange's album sales went up 200%."
But wait, wait, wait: is he just expertly trolling us?
If America's First Couple really are calling it quits, wouldn't he probably be inclined to deny those rumors to protect his daughter and her privacy (and the only plausible denial the family can use at this point is that the Carters are so media savvy they created the damn rumor themselves)?
But honestly if you think too hard about who's trolling who in this scenario, you'll lose all sense of reality, your head will explode and the Beygency will come sweep up your remains.
It's worth pointing out that the rest of the short interview is just as cuckoo: Knowles has a rant about people misspelling his name ("Most of the time they put two 'T's in it and there's only one 'T' in Mathew! Can everybody get that right? It's one 'T'! It's M-A-T-H-E-R [Ed note: uh, R?], the Jewish version of it"), gives a shoutout to TMZ head honcho Harvey Levin ("Hey, Harvey! Whassup dog?"), and coyly intimates that there might be a Destiny's Child reunion happening next year.
One of these days Bravo's gotta do a show about Dad-Managers and get Mathew "One T" Knowles, Joe Simpson, and Billy Ray Cyrus living together in a McMansion in, like, Calabasas.
[h/t Dlisted]
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Carrete's Why Fi is possibly the funniest zine that we've read in a
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FRIDAY 
SUNDAY
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(Photo by Billy Farrell / 
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Debby wears a hat by Melody Ehsani and sunglasses by Guess.
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Image via 
Image via 
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