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Drunk Diane Keaton on Ellen Is the Best Diane Keaton


Drunk Diane Keaton was on Ellen yesterday drinking chilled red wine, talking about tantric sex and promoting her awful-looking wedding movie that we'll be secretly enjoying on a plane 5 months from now. The whole segment is amazing and takes our love for her to new loopy heights.  

This is only funny if you want it to be (i.e. this is a little bit funny): Here's a video of a toddler hanging out by his front door, waiting for his dad to come home when the mail person abruptly stops by and, well, you'll see. [Gawker]

amanda-bynes-shaves-half-her-head-see-new-haircut-02.jpgMorning Oh Nosies: Amanda Bynes has shaved half her head. [JustJared]

tumblr_mlpz5geVKM1qhub34o1_500.jpgHappy prom, kids! Here's baby Jimmy Fallon and his date looking very 1990.  [LateNightJimmy]

gunntinyhand.pngTim Gunn, making it work, with one tiny hand. [LaughterKey]

k-bigpic.gifThe only GIF you need to see from yesterday's dedication of the George W. Bush Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too. Hats off to Jezebel.

tumblr_mlim41tbts1sovfs2o1_500.jpgJoffrey Bieber = our new favorite tumblr.

tumblr_mjptkztky11qzastpo1_500.jpgOMGenesis. [ParisHiltonSexSlave]

tumblr_mkf7c1ne4t1qbe0gto1_400.gifOur new email signature. [AfternoonSnoozeButton]

tumblr_mgu0egMNza1rqv5xno1_500.jpgFact. [HexGirlfriend666]

tumblr_mkswy0o1sX1qdwygho1_1280.jpgUp top, guy! [CoinFarts]

Andy Spade and Sleepy Jones Launch a Luxe Pajama Line

sleep_in_1.jpgA model wears a piece from Andy Spade x Sleep Jones' new collection at the 24-hour "Sleep In"

Downtown Manhattan might not be home to as many "love-ins" as it was in the swingin' sixties, but it was the site of a decidedly more wholesome 24-hour "sleep-in" on Wednesday. In celebration of Andy Spade and Sleepy Jones' new collection of "not-quite-ready-to-wear," Noho's Lafayette House hosted a day of reading, writing, painting and some good old-fashioned bed jumping. The sleepwear-inspired collection, which joins a handful of other labels who have dipped their slipper-clad toes into the pajamas-as-clothing trend, was inspired, Spade tells us, by "artists and writers who work and live in their PJs." He adds, "The collection is designed to be worn inside and out, day or night... It's a uniform for people who want to be comfortable all day." In the "Sleep In" spirit, we asked the Partners & Spade co-founder and brand consultant about his favorite sleepover games, childhood pranks and what he keeps on his nightstand. Check out photos from the collection beneath Spade's answers.

What were your favorite sleepover games as kid?

My favorite sleepover games were not really games. My friends and I would usually build forts with blankets and chairs and then fight and wrestle and try to throw each other off until the last man was standing.

Did you play pranks on sleepovers?

We mostly snuck outside and played ding-dong ditch on the neighbors or threw water balloons at cars.

Please rank the following slumber party activities, in descending order of funness: light as a feather, stiff as a board; Bloody Mary; Truth or Dare; prank calling; ouija board.

1. Prank calling
2. Truth or Dare
3. Spin the Bottle [Ed note: Crap! We forgot a good one!]
4. Ouija Board

One pillow or two pillows?

Three pillows.

Are you a good sleeper? Do you fall asleep easily and sleep through the night?

I'm a light sleeper but a heavy dreamer.

What's on your nightstand?

Clock, book, pistachios, water, pen and paper, remote control

Do you sleep talk or walk?

My wife says I sleep talk but I don't believe her. Apparently I vocalize my dreams and musings. I engage in conversations with ghosts, monsters and and inanimate objects in my sleep.It drives my wife crazy!

andyspade1Marina Pajama Top Blue Stripe.jpgMarina Women's Pajama Top Blue Stripe
andyspade2Marina Pajama Top Liberty.jpg
Marina Women's Pajama Top Liberty
andyspade3Sol Pajama Pant Navy Floral.jpgSol Men's Pajama Pant Navy Floral

andyspade4Henry Pajama Top Navy.jpgHenry Mens' Pajama Top Navy

andyspade5Henry Pajama Top Red & Blue Stripe.jpg
Henry Mens' Pajama Top Red and Blue Stripe

Photos of the collection courtesy of Sleepy Jones; top photo by Amanda Jasnowski

From Budokan to Bowery: An Interview with Cheap Trick's Tom Petersson



(Photo by Alberto Cabello on Flickr)

Thirty-five years ago this Sunday, Illinois' own Cheap Trick headlined Tokyo's Nippon Budokan stadium on their first Japanese tour. Recordings of that show (and another one two days later) were released for the Japanese market, but became so popular as imports that Epic re-released At Budokan for the home market, where the single "I Want You to Want Me" carried it to triple-platinum status.

On Sunday, Cheap Trick will re-create their first Budokan set at the John Varvatos store in the former CBGB's space; the show will be livestreamed here. (The band has also modeled for Varvatos.) PAPER spoke with bassist Tom Petersson about the band's legacy and future.


You're playing on Sunday in the former CBGB's space. I saw you'd played there almost 15 years ago. Was that the only time you'd played there?

Yes. I'd been there plenty of times, saw Johnny Thunders and all sorts of different people there. We didn't play there until really after it had all gone on, the whole punk scene.

Were you following that scene?

Oh yeah, I thought it was fantastic. I thought it was great. I saw the [New York] Dolls early on on New Year's Eve, I don't remember what year [evidently 1973 -- Ed.], in Detroit. I loved all that.

Do you think of Cheap Trick as relating to that?

I would say so. The label was always trying to clean us up. We were always in a constant battle. And then the Sex Pistols came out, it was like, wow! They were the whole package, it was great, it was funny, people were outraged. They had really cool songs. The whole thing was just perfect.

We just missed them, they played in Dallas and we were on our way there. The guy that was driving us went like 300 miles out of the way. We were so angry that we missed the Sex Pistols, and then it was all over after that. I lived in New York City for about ten years, I saw all sorts of people there. I moved there in '85.


What are the acoustics like at Budokan?

It's like a big gymnasium. It's not great acoustics. In Japan all of the shows are early, like six o'clock at night so everybody can catch their trains back to wherever they live. And there's never any opening acts, so you're on at six. It's light, and there's big windows way up at the top of the place. It's a very strange scene. It's obviously not meant to be a concert hall, but most places that we play aren't.

Why do you think then that that concert became so popular? Was it just that you didn't have any other live records out, or was it something about the audience there in Japan that somehow translated onto the record? Or was it a special performance in anyway?

It was really just what we always did. We didn't do the same show all the time, but basically we came straight out of clubs into Budokan. Obviously we had a record deal and a couple records out at that point, but we had done a short run with Queen and then we did a tour with KISS, and they were huge in Japan so there were all these Japanese journalists following them and there we were opening. So we got all this attention.

We had hit singles from our first few records in Japan and so we came over there and it was pandemonium. It was pretty weird! It was pandemonium in Japan for a few weeks straight and then we come back and we're at Shakey's Pizza Parlor in Des Moines, Iowa.

And we were just trying to get ahead and then that record came out unexpectedly. They did a television show of that concert and then they decided to release a record in Japan only. That record caught on as an import all over the whole world, so our record label said, "Gosh, I guess we have to release this thing worldwide," and next thing you know we had a big hit with it. So it was kind of like a greatest hits record for us after only three records. Then we had to turn around and do all those songs all over again.

Are there other live albums by other bands that you think are exemplary? After you, all these other bands started releasing Budokan records.

I'm sorry about that. It's not my fault. Yes, I'm not a big fan of live records, I love studio records where the stuff's thought out. It's interesting to hear live records out of curiosity. My all-time favorite live record is the Who Live at Leeds. I think that's unbeatable.

I think our record is, it's exciting hearing it because at that time it was mainly young, female fans, so that the sound of the crowd was more like Beatlemania than it would be normally in 1978. It was that hysteria that really was exciting, just that sound alone. It's really great. In fact we had to really tone it down for that record. You couldn't tell what was going on. Everyone says, "Oh yeah, you flew in some extra screaming." There was no way. We were trying to get away from it.

Even before this weekend, you've often revisited and re-worked your old material. You don't seem to be getting sick of playing the old songs as much as some bands might.

That's true. We do it almost as if it's the first time people have seen us. And a lot of times it is, or people haven't seen us in thirty years or whatever it is. It just comes naturally to us. We've worked for a long time. We started out playing five sets a night in dingy bars to six people. We just kept going. Right when our first record came out, that year, we averaged I think 295 shows and recorded two records. It was that type of thing. I don't know what it is, just something about us, we've kept working all through the years. We're not up there putting in time, it never feels like that.

Do you think the recordings you did with Steve Albini will ever get an official release?

I think they will. We never totally finished them. But eventually. That was our second record, In Color, we just did it over because we really did not like the way that record sounded. It was right during that whole punk scene in '77 and the record labels and our producers just didn't see that as anything that was any good. So our first record sounded just like the way we sounded and then that record was a watered-down version of what people thought we should sound like and it really upset us. We just always wanted to do that record over and do it more like we did the first record. Like, "Hey this is actually how we sound." Not like, "You guys are great if you only sounded like" whoever it was that was on the charts at that time. There was the punk scene and then disco was huge, so what is it? I don't know where we would have fit in. So that's why we did that thing over but there was really no reason to do it except that we just wanted to do it and we never really finished doing overdubs. It will eventually come out because we put a lot of effort into it. We loved recording with Steve, he's great. I hope we can get back in with him and do something else.

Do you guys still get royalties from the Beastie Boys sample? [The Beasties' Check Your Head album opens with a sample of Trick's Robin Zander introducing "Surrender" to the screaming Budokan audience: "This next one is the first song on our new album!"]

Yes, probably a small amount. Too small. I don't remember the story of that, if we found out after the fact. I don't remember what happened. I'll ask though, because now I'm curious what the hell happened. They may have given us some flat fee or something.

You're working on a new record.

We're always working on a new record, really. We're not in recording it right now but during the course of this year we'll put it all together and get it going and have it out next year for sure.

So The Latest (2009) will no longer be the latest Cheap Trick album.

That's correct.

What's the direction of the new record?

We put the songs together and we see where it leads. Because we have ballads and heavy stuff and scary things and happy-go-lucky things. It's quite a big variety.

David Lynch on his Le Grand Fooding Soundtrack and Chinese Chicken Salad

Screen shot 2013-04-26 at 12.13.07 PM.pngLe Grand Fooding Crush Paris-L.A. starts today, a giant outdoor picnic in front of The Geffen Contemporary at MOCA. After four years in New York, Le Fooding is making its Los Angeles debut, celebrating the city's cultural link with Paris. In addition to big time DJs and street artists like Shepard Fairey, there will be food from superstar chefs from both cities. From L.A. there's Nancy Silverton (Mozza) and Paper 2013 Beautiful Person Ludo Lefebvre (Trois Mec), among others, and from Paris, Grégory Marchand (Frenchie) and Sven Chartier (Saturne). And then there's the participation of filmmaker David Lynch, whose coffee line, David Lynch Signature Cup Organic Coffee, was served at the fest's kickoff dinner last night. He also made a "FoodTrack" to be played at the two-night event and spoke to us about it by phone yesterday afternoon.

I read that you drink up to 20 cups of coffee a day.

I don't think it's quite that many. Ten or twelve, maybe.

How many ounces?

They're big cups.

Do you only drink coffee made from your beans?

Yes, ma'am. I love it. I've always loved coffee. It's smooth and has a great flavor and does the trick.

What's the trick?

It enhances the flow of ideas.

Do you suffer any ill effects from drinking so much coffee?

David Lynch coffee is smooth, not acidic, so it just affects you in a good way. If you have acidic coffee it's a whole nightmare. Coffee is a big love in the category of big love.

What else is in your category of big love?

(laughs, doesn't answer)

Do you think you'd ever open a coffee bar?

I don't think so but you never say never. There is some good news on the horizon but I can't talk about it. So far you can only get it through Java Distribution or I believe through DavidLynch.com.

Your good news has to do with coffee?


How did you get involved in Le Fooding?

I don't know how that came about.

You're doing the 'Foodtrack' -- what is that?

They asked me to create a track list of my favorite songs for their event. I have a sound studio and Big Dean Hurley is the engineer. Dean is always adding songs to a list of favorite things so we had it pretty much ready. We sent them the big list. They picked about forty tracks they want to play for the event.

Do the songs have something to do with food?

That's not the idea, no. It's just some of my favorites.

For example?

"Only the Lonely," Roy Orbison, "That's All Right, Mama," Elvis Presley, "The Locomotion," Little Eva, "Sad Song," Au Revoir Simone, which is three girls from Brooklyn.

I haven't heard of them.

They're fantastic. They got their name from a Pee-wee Herman movie. At the end of the movie he's watching the girl go away and he says, 'Au revoir, Simone' and she says, 'Au revoir, Pee-wee.'

Did Big Dean Hurley introduce you to them?

No. I have a book called Catching the Big Fish: Meditation, Consciousness, and Creativity and I was at a bookstore in New York City -- they had an event where I talked about the book and had a band play at the same time and it was Au Revoir Simone. I became a great fan of their music. On the track we've also got "Cowboys" by Portishead, "Extreme Ways," Moby, "Tracks of My Tears," Smokey Robinson....

What are your favorite foods?

I have many favorite foods. Let's see, I like Chinese chicken salad. I had one last night and this sauce is what does it. It's unreal, it's so good. I don't know what's in it. There are crunchy kind of noodle things and it's a flavor and physical sensation dancing in the sauce. You go right to heaven.

Where did you get it?

I got it from Joan's on Third. You've got to try their Chinese chicken salad.

Do you cook?

No. I learned how to make quinoa, which they say is a very good protein. From Dino De Laurentiis I learned how to cook rigatoni with tomato sauce.

Do you like French food?

I like French-style chicken with mashed potatoes and green beans. People are down on foie gras but I love it. I like Bordeaux red wine and so many of the French cheeses. French butter is unbelievable, it's so beautiful. And I love the bread in France. I always say with the French everything they do is an art form.

Have you ever had a scene in one of your movies featuring French food?

I don't think so, but there was a scene in Twin Peaks where Jerry Horne brought back a baguette from Paris to his brother Benjamin Horne and it brought back memories of a girl they both knew.

Food can do that, call up memories.

Oh, yes.

Will you be at Le Fooding this weekend?

No, I'm not going to be able to attend but they said that's okay. I'll be there in spirit with the music and coffee.

Can you tell me what you'll be doing this weekend instead?

I can't talk about that.

Le Grand Fooding Crush Paris-L.A. is April 26-27, 2013, at The Geffen Contemporary at MOCA, Los Angeles.

Photo by Chris Saunders / Celebrity Pictures

Catch Street Art Couple Dabs Myla In This Awesome Video


Though they were born and raised in Melbourne, Australia, this girlfriend/boyfriend graffiti art couple Dabs Myla have been spray-painting LA with their rainbow cartoons and designs for the past four years. The duo's colorful, clean aesthetic brightens up abandoned buildings with happy faces and funny characters. The LRG Clothing company has filmed this cool video featuring the pair working their artful vandalism outdoors and indoors: painting on buildings in the first half and putting together a gallery show in the second. Check it out above.

Steven Alan Is Hosting a Clothing Swap!

vertical_shot_straight copy.jpgA shot of some of the items up for sale

We've been putting off spring cleaning for weeks and now it looks like there's a pretty good reason not to wait another day: Steven Alan and online fashion resale site Material Wrld are hosting a designer clothing swap this Sunday, April 28th at the Steven Alan showroom (87 Franklin St., off Church). Billed as the "first retailer-hosted clothing swap party," the event sounds like a chic-er version of the swaps you might have with your old college friends but with awesome vintage and designer duds instead of your old sparkly "going out" tops from Forever 21 and five-year-old bodycon dresses from American Apparel.

Although RSVP'd guests were initially able to sell items, the inventory is now closed and additional attendees will only be able to shop. But fear not! You should still clean out your closet anyway to make room for pieces by Chanel, Isabel Marant, Dolce & Gabbana, Rachel Comey and more. Material Wrld has been managing the clothing drop-offs and will determine prices ahead of the event. The party goes from 10am-6pm and will have a DJ, free beer and the Mike n Willie's taco truck parked right outside.

To RSVP, click HERE.

GIFs of the Week: Tilda Swinton's Conga Line and Lots and Lots of Pancakes

Welcome to our Friday GIF roundup, featuring a collection of this week's most important, amusing and/or newsy GIFs and GIF sets by Mike Hayes of BuzzFeed and GIF Hound.

tumblr_mlvdc0F0cf1qbyxr0o1_400.gifLook at this. Think about how impossible it would be to hit a Major League pitch. [Cineraria]

tumblr_mlub6lnrmY1qdlh1io1_400.gifWhile you're thinking about that. Think about how many ankles you would break if you attempted this move. (My answer: Two) [4 GIFs]

tumblr_mlrp3xtlAS1qa9siqo2_500.gifWhile you're feeling bad about your lack of athletic skills, think about Tilda Swinton starting a conga line, and feel happy again. [Bobby Finger]

tumblr_mlqk99BiiH1s594zyo1_400.gifWhile you're feeling happy, think about Jay Gatsby, who sometimes felt happy, except when he felt cripplingly sad. [Gatsby Movie]

tumblr_mlp79gReAY1ql2603o1_400.gifIf you're feeling sad, try to relax. [NikNak79]

tumblr_mllsdv0WFq1qg39ewo1_500.gifJust...chill... [GIF Movie]

Try not to think about this... [Bee Is Happy]

tumblr_mlqak0sIPh1qhpw5wo1_500.gifOr this... [via Charlotte Free]

tumblr_mlsidnbhUd1r4y5m7o1_250.gif tumblr_mlsidnbhUd1r4y5m7o2_250.gif

Remember. You're special and different. [Renner Spears]

tumblr_mlnugaTzNy1s46p8ao1_1280.gifIf all else fails, eat all the pancakes. [Denny's]

Lipps Inc.'s "Funkytown" Is Still Real Funky


If you think the above is the original "Funkytown" you were probably born in the 70s.  The cover version by Australian new-wavers, Pseudo Echo, did become a pretty big hit in 1987 -- reaching #6 on the pop chart -- but the original had already gone to #1 seven years earlier.  The song was really a studio concoction, whipped-up in Minnesota by producer Steve Greeberg who played almost all of the instruments himself and got his friend Cynthia Johnson to do the vocals. He called the group Lipps Inc.  So that we don't get any hate mail, below you can find a video of the original song, but we don't have a clue who the maniacal, wide-eyed trio is.  Nice jumpsuits, no?

A Brief History of Vincent Kartheiser Acting Like a Real Weirdo

kartheiser-lambs-club.jpgIn case you haven't heard, Vincent Kartheiser has a long and storied history of being a real, how should we put this ... prick-ish weirdo in interviews. In honor of his most recent offense, where he made fun of a Huffington Post reporter and told her that her place of work "posts some pretty bad shit," (though, to be fair, Kartheiser was referring to a post about his jerkiness, penned by said reporter) we thought we'd give you a brief rundown of all the times it's seemed like playing Pete Campbell is not too much of a stretch for him. Read below to review PAPER 2008 Beautiful Person Kartheiser's most un-beautiful quotes while worrying a little for Alexis Bledel. Run away, girl, run!

Unhealthy thoughts:
Turns out that Kartheiser gave us some warning of his sometimes off-putting and often weird ways when his popularity really started to pick up. In a 2010 Guardian profile he said, "I sometimes like to be unhealthy in my thoughts and my actions." And something about that quote makes us think he wasn't talking about eating a large buttered popcorn by himself at a matinee screening of Marmaduke. This was also the first mention of him wearing a wedding ring, "so I can flash it to warn people off if I need to, or at least put it on in the morning." 

For a while Kartheiser supposedly didn't have a toilet.
"Like, I don't have a toilet at the moment. My house is just a wooden box. I mean I am planning to get a toilet at some point. But for now I have to go to the neighbors. I threw it all out." The reporter confirmed it. Don't worry, now he has a toilet.

"It's not rape after the first 5 minutes."
This one's a double-whammy: At the Lambs Club in 2010, Kartheiser told PAPER that that he wore a fake wedding ring because he liked the kind of woman it attracted. He also told BlackBook: "It's not rape after the first 5 minutes." Charming!

America the Great?
Buried in a long interview, Kartheiser gives an interesting quote on being lucky: "The fact that I'm born in America, and America has control over all these other colonies, and enslaved all these other countries -- I mean, there are so many things that have happened in my life that make me so lucky." Also in that interview: "This is exactly how I always wanted to have children: in a movie. In a movie, on a TV screen, or in some sort of nightmare."

But don't compare him to Pete.
Kartheiser admits that he shares some not-so-great traits with Pete Campbell: "I think there's plenty of me in Pete Campbell. People on the show like to say that I'm very different from my character, but what else are they gonna say? I play a really despicable, ugly character...So my co-stars don't want to completely ruin my love life."

People just naturally want to hurt him.
Kartheiser told Vulture, "I just have one of those faces you just wanna rip to pieces."

He's cool with ditching children. So are all men, apparently.
When asked (of the the first episode of Mad Men), "Could you imagine sneaking into a colleague's home, having sex with her when she was asleep, never acknowledging the activity and then not feeling responsible for the baby?" Kartheiser's answer was "Sure." When the interviewer implied that Pete's actions were pretty despicable, he responded, "You've got to hang out with more men."

Accidentally dissing Alison Brie
Kartheiser sort of dissed co-star Alison Brie's show Community, saying: "I don't really watch TV. I mean, I do, but I don't watch that kind of TV. I watch some comedies, but not that one. God, I sound like an asshole." So much nervous laughter.

Throwing things at reporters

Towards the end of an interview published a few weeks ago, Katheiser started throwing crumpled up paper at the reporter, saying "I'm going to hit you right in the face with this!" He misses every time.

He once got in trouble over a rock.
"I picked out one rock, in the river, like a 650lb rock. A monster stuck between two other rocks. We were in the river and we got it moving but this guy comes out shouting, 'You can't take my rock!' I'm like, 'It's the world's rock!' And anyhow I needed it for my sink... but in the end we left that rock alone and we had to find another rock. We got a cool one."

Somewhere out there, there's a video him cussing for several minutes while doing a Matt Weiner impression.
"I did [my Matthew Weiner impression] on video once! And then I was like, 'Oh my God! Please edit that out!' And then they wouldn't, so I just kept saying, [yells] 'Cuuunt. Fuuuck. Cuuunt. Fuuuuck.' So they couldn't use any of it. So then there was just this two-minute video clip of me going, 'Bleeeep. Bleeeep. Bleeeep. Bleeep.'"

Boy, this guy hates the Huffington Post.
As previously mentioned, while at a Mad Men panel discussion, Kartheiser was asked a question by a reporter from Huffington Post. He responded by asking her "Oh, do they pay you at least?" When the reporter said that she is indeed paid, Kartheiser said, "You're one of the few." Then he added, "You guys post some pretty bad shit over there sometimes, no offense." The "no offense" is truly the cherry on top.

But, uh, maybe he just needs a good spanking...
From a 2012 interview: "Uh-huh. Yeah, I believe in spankings. I believe in spankings more and more, as I get older."

The Five Best Bruce Lee Fights (and Method Man Joints)


In this weekly column, MC/DJ Hesta Prynn pairs pop culture stories with an original playlist.


I've spent the past two weeks traveling in China -- playing records, meeting people and learning about this amazing country. Before this trip my knowledge of the nation didn't extend far beyond Shaolin shadow-boxing and the Wu-Tang sword style. It seems, though, that Kung Fu films and hip-hop music aren't such bad introductions to Chinese culture, and have been great common ground on which to connect with people over here. In this week's Five 'n' Five I've paired some of my personal favorite Bruce Lee fight scenes with the best records by a certain rapper who took his name from a Kung Fu film.

Bruce Lee vs. Chuck Norris (The Way of The Dragon): Notorious B.I.G. featuring Method Man, "The What"

Possibly the most sophisticated fight ever caught on film, this scene stuns by featuring two masters at the top of their game. Similarly, Meth and Biggie shut it down on this collab that came out at the pinnacle of both of their careers. When they trade lines all through the second verse, it's hip-hop history.

Bruce Lee vs. Han Ying Chieh (The Big Boss): Method Man featuring Mary J. Blige, "I'll Be There for You/You're All I Need to Get By"

Both Lee and Meth show great style and strength in what are easily their most raw and real recorded moments. In the final scene of Lee's first film he showcases his Kung Fu style while fighting the crime boss for the love of his woman. Likewise, Meth shows off his dope steady flow on this Grammy-winning love song for the decade. Both artists keep it sensitive thug all day long.

Bruce Lee vs. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (Game of Death): Method Man, "Bring the Pain"

Things that are amazing about this scene include but are not limited to: BL's yellow jumpsuit, KAJ's white basketball shorts, BL changing up his tactic mid-fight, KAJ officially being the largest person on earth. Things that are amazing about this song include but are not limited to: the lyric "I've heard that when you drink Absolut straight it burns enough to give my chest hair a perm" and the outro.

Bruce Lee vs. Jackie Chan (Enter the Dragon): Wu-Tang Clan, "Method Man"

Before Jackie Chan was a huge mega-star he appeared in an uncredited role as a jailed thug who briefly fought Bruce Lee in his most famous film. Conversely, after Meth became a huge mega-star he appeared as a very credited (yet still jailed) thug in Oz. (He also played Cheese in The Wire.)

Bruce Lee vs. the Japanese School (Fist of Fury): Method Man and Redman, "How High"

In Fist of Fury, after learning that his master had been poisoned by the Japanese military, Lee's character descends upon the enemy dojo and KICKS EVERYONE'S FUCKING ASS. This film won him great acclaim and gratitude from his country, where he remains both a star and hero. In the words of Method Man, "Fucking with us is straight suicide."

The Best, Worst and Weirdest of the Week

boiler_room_pillow_fight.jpgDopest Impromptu Pillow Fight of the Week: The pillow fight that broke out during the W Hotel x Boiler Room party last night, which was held inside a suite at the W Times Square and featured DJ sets by Solange, Brenmar and Mike Q and a performance by Cam'ron. Perhaps cool kid brands like Hood by Air and ØDD should take a cue from Andy Spade and venture into sleepwear next? [Photo by Angela Pham/BFANYC.com] -- Abby Schreiber

Most Depressing Tumblr(s) of the Week: All of fan-girl sites dedicated to suspected Boston marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev uncovered by Gawker. -- Elizabeth Thompson

Second Most Depressing Tumblr of the Week: 100 Percent Men, a Tumblr that highlights boys clubs from "all corners of the world where women have yet to tread." This includes the all contributors in the latest issue of the New Yorker. -- E.T.

tumblr_mlioy74H4Z1sovfs2o1_500.jpgFunniest Tumblr of the Week: Joffrey Bieber, a seamless combining of Game of Thrones' tyrant boy king with Justin Bieber. -- E.T.

Movie Soundtrack We're Most Looking Forward To, After Seeing the Trailer: Sorry Gatsby, this one's going to Sophia Coppola's Bling Ring, which juxtaposed shots of Emma Watson being awful while Azealia Banks' everlasting jam "212" and Sleigh Bells' "Crown On The Ground" played in the background. -- A.S.

Screen shot 2013-04-26 at 4.33.07 PM.pngWeirdest Social Media Plug: The "siguenos en Facebook and Twitter" ["follow us on Facebook and Twitter"] found outside this men's prison cafeteria in rural Mexico, as seen in a New York Times Magazine article. A men's prison cafeteria in rural Mexico is on Twitter and Facebook? Also...whom are they advertising their said social media presence to? [Photo by Dominic Bracco II/Prime, for The New York Times] -- E.T. & A.S.  

Best Proof Punk's Not Dead (Despite Being Embalmed In the Galleries of the Metropolitan Museum and the Pages of New York Magazine): The So So Glos' record release show Monday night at Shea Stadium. -- Jonah Wolf

Best Proof Funk's Not Dead Either: Janelle Monáe's "Q.U.E.E.N.," featuring Erykah Badu. -- J.W.

Most Unexpected Fact We Learned About David Lynch: That he really, really likes Chinese chicken salad. -- A.S.

Max Fish Might Come to Williamsburg...


560612578876317.jpg1. Max Fish (might) be moving to Brooklyn. The move to 132 Metropolitan Avenue (that's right next door to Nitehawk Cinema, by the by) happens only if they get the liquor license.  Sign THIS petition to help the cause.

blastoff_logo_twitter.jpg2. Comedian (and our favorite former teenage hellion) Tig Notaro is kicking off a 15-city tour for her podcast Professor Blastoff with co-hosts  Kyle Dunnigan and David Huntsberger tomorrow night in Phoenix. Tickets for the Brooklyn 7/13 show are here.

20120507_pm_paulbody_003.jpg3. The Hauser & Wirth gallery is going all-in for LA artist Paul McCarthy.  Starting May 10th, they're exhibiting his works at shows in three different Manhattan locations: "Sculptures" at 511 West 18th Street, "Life Cast" at 32 East 69th Street and "Sisters" in Hudson River Park at 17th Street. [Above: "Horizontal" - Paul McCarthy (2013)]

Screen shot 2013-04-26 at 5.55.11 PM.png4. Rice ball pandas featured in Bon Appetit's photo feature on Cherry Blossom picnic season in Tokyo. 

0425-comet-ison-century.jpg_full_380.jpg5. Attention earthlings: A comet called ISON is approaching the sun, and could be so bright that it's visible during the day. [CSMonitor]
6. The "chilling" documentary on early 70s California commune, "The Source Family," opens next Wednesday, May 1, at the IFC Center (323 Sixth Avenue).
554704_497785703614108_272721621_n.png 7. Just got back from a big-game safari in Bushwick.

Steven Spielberg's Trailer for His Obama Biopic


Here's the trailer for Steven Spielberg's Obama biopic, which premiered at the White House Press Correspondents' Dinner this weekend, starring Daniel Day Lewis as Barack and Tracy Morgan as Joe Biden. [PopCultureBrain]

White House Press Correspondents Dinner emcee Conan O'Brien casts Washington. We have always gotten Bob Barker vibes from Joe Biden. [GotchaMedia]

Sarah Palin = not a fan of the White House Press Correspondents' Dinner. What does it mean that we thought this tweet was kind of funny? What is happening to us? Send help! [Jezebel]

Amy Poehler looks exactly like a Cosmo cover model from 1934 and dressed up like her doppelganger on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon Friday night. It's awesome.

tumblr_mlve9eDccm1rd10xoo1_500.jpgtumblr_mlve9eDccm1rd10xoo2_500.jpgEasy, breezy, beautiful Leo Di. [TheClearlyDope]

This Daft Punk-loving cockatoo is invited to DJ any Paper party, any time. [FYeahDementia]
New Netflix category. [Laughterkey]

tumblr_m7zgqf151P1qzoxayo1_500.jpgUs eating anything, ever. [AfternoonSnoozeButton]

tumblr_mlywjxZ3L81qhd1izo1_500.jpgOh dear. [AfternoonSnoozeButton]

Capybara in a baby bonnet. All is right with the world. [RatsOff]

Chef Sam Talbot Can't Resist the Chicken Biscuit at Pies 'n' Thighs

samtalbot_offduty.jpgEach week in our Chefs Off Duty series, we talk to some of our favorite chefs and industry folk around the country to find out their secret late-night spots where they like to grab a bite and a pint when their kitchens are finally closed. Next up: Sam Talbot, chef and Top Chef alum who's been busy working on a cookbook for kids called The Lunch Pail, finishing a new secret project in Montauk slated to bow this summer and teaming up with Thorny Rose wines on recipe pairings and roving wine-centric dinners.

Where do you like to go eat when you leave the kitchen?

I try to eat healthy but I have a secret vice: Pies 'n' Thighs. I grew up in the Carolinas so that chicken biscuit with honey butter...yeah. 

How long have you been going there?

I think probably six months. I remember eight or nine years ago when I had a restaurant in Williamsburg called the Williamsburgh Cafe right on N. 7th and Wythe -- that's how I found [the original]. I think I was walking the dog and I walked by the [new] restaurant and I started asking around and people were like, "Oh, yeah. It's amazing, it's amazing, it's amazing." And I read the menu and was like, "Oh my gosh." And now my mother loves it, my friends love it. 

Aside from the chicken biscuits, what else do you like to order there?

The fried pickles are really good.

pnt-pies-and-thighs.JPGDo you have a favorite pie or doughnut?

I'm a diabetic so you can't throw me under the bus like that! [Laughs] But I've been known to venture in that direction before, sure. They have a really good apple pie. I just try not to order [in] -- it's one thing if I can walk there, at least I'm getting exercise before but if I order and they bring it to me, then it's gluttonous. Then I'm cooked.

Any fun Pies 'n' Thighs anecdotes you can share?

I get a lot of text messages from people that say, "Hey, 'so-and-so [celebrity]' is in there right now. Will you walk by and see?" I'm like, "No!" That's happened at least three different times with three different people. [People asked me if] Ryan Gosling was sitting in Pies 'n' Thighs and if I'd go look. I told them that the only reason I'm looking was because I was walking my dog by the place but, sure, I looked. Someone else texted me, "Hey, Madonna's in Pies 'n' Thighs. Will you go look?" And I'm like, "Absolutely not." It's a routine thing. People seem to think that big celebrities are always hanging out at Pies 'n' Thighs.

Pies 'n' Thighs, 166. S. 4th St., Brooklyn; Mon-Fri, 9am-midnight; Sat-Sun, 10am-midnight; Closed 4pm-5pm

More From Our Chefs Off Duty Series

Recapping the Mad Men Recaps: Episode 5, "The Flood"

1367245037_dawnjoan.gifEach week PAPER will help you sort through your feelings about Mad Men by rounding up the best and brightest of the MM recaps. Read below so you can compare, contrast, and ponder while awkwardly hugging your secretary.

Did Mad Men do a good  job of dealing with MLK's assassination?

"One of the things Mad Men has always understood was that we can only grasp collective history through our own personal history. That's why the question that's always asked is 'Where were you when it happened?'...the show puts the killing both front-and-center and on-the-sidelines, focusing on examining its characters in the wake of the news." -- EW

"I mostly didn't like the episode. This is the episode where, to intentionally mangle a Malcolm X phrase, the chickens of Mad Men's whiteness finally came home to roost. I'm not saying Mad Men didn't deal with the assassination honestly...But there was more they should have done, and they couldn't do it, because they'd failed to set Dawn up as a character...I think some viewers may look at Dawn's what, eight lines in this episode, and insist that it's proof of the show's integrity -- that they couldn't have gone any further with her because that would have been a clichéd way to deal with the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr., by suddenly taking this very white show and making it about the only significant black character." -- Vulture

"On the one hand, it would be impossible to set this season in 1968 and then plow over King's murder. On the other hand, trotting out this tragic event as a plot device feels unsavory, somehow. Yes, I know, there was the JFK episode. That one worked, though, whereas this one felt like it was lifted straight out of 'The Wonder Years' -- only less poignant." -- Salon

"[The episode] seemed to treat race rather obliquely." -- Slate

"It was unlikely Matthew Weiner would be able to top the raw emotional sucker punch of November 22nd, 1963, when it came time to tackle the Martin Luther King Jr. assassination. But he didn't need to, because the country was in a very different place in 1968 than it was four and a half years earlier. As his characters demonstrated, April 1968 is a way more jaded era." -- Rolling Stone

"Ginsberg's story line is one of many throughout the episode that explores the arguably misguided effect King's murder had on Americans. There is not one instance that discusses King's direct impact on civil rights, or on any of the characters on Mad Men. The only African-American characters of note, Dawn and Peggy's secretary Phyllis, are in one scene apiece, and their presence is merely to demonstrate how far removed the main characters are to their black secretaries' experience." -- Rolling Stone

"I love this show, but let's be honest: Matthew Weiner has not engaged with race as enthusiastically as he's engaged with feminism, anti-Semitism, the changing of the generational guard, and other subjects. I think he's afraid of it. He's afraid of doing it wrong. He's afraid of doing it badly. And this fear has come through in the show." -- Vulture

"Peggy tells Phyllis, her assistant, 'It could've been worse.' She's referring to Harlem's reaction to the assassination, but Phyllis' face suggests that nothing could be worse. It's the worst that Dr. King is dead. It's the worst that Peggy doesn't hear how her sentence sounds. It's the worst that these characters can't really connect to help each other. Mostly, we saw the worst in people. That's why you watch in the first place, isn't it?" -- Complex

Do we feel differently about Pete?

"You know it's a world gone terribly awry when Pete Campbell seems like a good guy...Pete is indeed a world-class jackass much of the time, but he's always been remarkably forward-thinking and egalitarian when it comes to matters of race." -- Huffington Post

"Pete slams [Harry] for his lack of sensitivity, calling him a racist. At least Harry is being honest. Pete is using the assassination as a cover for his frustration that Trudy won't let him back into the house." -- Rolling Stone

"Yes, this [episode] makes me like Pete a little. I know. Grief causes people do strange things and all that. [But] Pete is pretty much the only partner on the right side of history here. Pete! With his hairline and his stupid pick-up lines and his Don envy!" -- TV Line

"You're on the verge of cheering for Pete as he creates a space on the show for all of the nation to feel the full force of Dr. King's death, and then he ruins it by reducing it to the personal." -- Complex

Harry still sucks.

"Harry is a shit stick though, and while the real estate agent's opportunism over everyone being upset was borderline, Harry's was over the top." -- Collider

"Harry Crane...is only concerned with how the assassination is affecting TV ad sales. Harry used to be a lovable underdog, but now every time he opens his mouth, my eyes roll like marbles. He seems like the kind of guy who would complain about there not being a White History Month or how women don't like him because he's 'too nice.'" -- EW

"Harry and Pete both may be unhappy, skirt-chasing ad men, but their loud confrontation reminded us how very different they are at their cores. It's hard to think of this kind of tragedy prompting the blinkered Harry into trying to make a real connection with another human being, particularly someone of another race." -- Huffington Post

Joan hugging Dawn was the definition of awkward.

"Joan leans in for an extremely awkward consolatory hug that neatly summed up the office's nervous weirdness about how to treat their black employee on this day." -- EW

"Joan...looked even more awkward trying to hug a surprised Dawn. That sort of emotional moment doesn't come easily to Don or Joan, especially with employees, and the Dawn scene reflected that." -- Huffington Post

"We don't see Dawn, Don's secretary, until 28 minutes into the show when she appears for work the day after. Grief and chaos have made her unemotional and she stands rigid when Joan leans in for as awkward a hug as you will ever see." -- LA Times

"Joan comes into Draper's office to announce that they're closing early and to give Dawn the most awkward, least comforting hug I've witnessed in quite some time." -- TV Line

Does Don have true feelings for Sylvia?

"Don's reaction to the news is one of concern, but not for his wife and kids. He tries to track down Sylvia...It's hard to tell whether Don Draper is falling in love with yet another new beginning, but his worrying seems to indicate there's more emotional attachment there than even he may wish." -- EW

"When tragedy strikes, Don is immediately focused on D.C. and Sylvia, distraught at being unable to reach the Rosens, watching the news for hopes of D.C. mentions that might assuage his fear. Per usual, Don has misplaced feelings." -- Collider

"It might seem like he's starting to feel real love for Silvia, but more likely he's just using his affair to shield himself from the pain of the current moment. (The affair still seems to spring more from Don's admiration and envy of Arnold than it does from his appreciation of Silvia.)" -- Salon

Don bonds with Bobby.

"Don has always...been a cipher to his son. Up until this point, the show has treated the poor kid like window dressing, as much a part of its meticulous recreation of period life as a Zenith television or a pack of Lucky Strikes...But when he ends up spending the day with his father -- the two of them using each other as an excuse not to attend a vigil in the park -- it's clear that the boy's a lot sharper than either us or Don have given him credit for...That his son has somehow inherited his appreciation for art, for the power of imagery, despite his utter lack of involvement, stirs something in him." -- EW

"But because we don't know Bobby that well...Don's big feelings here don't do much for us." -- Salon

"Bobby reassures a black usher that the movie theater's patrons aren't necessarily uncaring about the previous day's events, but that 'everybody likes to go to the movies when they're sad.' It's a heartfelt bit of pure empathy from the mouths of babes, and it makes Don realize that his son has somehow turned out a good egg despite his and Betty's abysmal parenting." -- EW

Does this mean Don's changing?

"Finally, after all this time, Don is realizing the price you pay for keeping others at arm's length until it's too late." -- EW

"The assassination of Martin Luther King gives [Don] another reason to drink heavily. Like he needed one! But it also gives him an opportunity to rethink his role as a parent, to think about his shortcomings and insecurities." -- Vulture

"The assassination of Martin Luther King has forced Don to bond with his son Bobby...He now finally feels the love and the pain of fatherhood. 'It feels like your heart is going to explode.'" -- US News

"Don's emotional revelation about faking his feelings towards his kids left me cold. Get your shit together, Don. Nobody's crying for you anymore." -- Collider

"But at that moment in the empty movie theater, when Bobby reached out to the sad-looking usher, the pretend love became real love...Dammit, Don, stop making me like you again. -- Rolling Stone

"I've sensed brewing Mad Men backlash this season...The most common complaint I've heard is that Don Draper has failed to progress as a character and is congealing into a grim, awful man. I actually find that a fascinating development -- I'm impressed by a show that, steadily over the course of several seasons, manages to turn a sexy pop culture heartthrob into a figure both reviled and pitied. And in this episode, I felt, we saw Don evolve in unexpected ways." -- Slate

OMG, Ginsberg's date.

"'You like kids?' Ginsberg asks a pretty young woman his father has set him up with, before bumbling into a full-on Woody Allen-like confession about his virginity." -- US News

"[Ginsberg's] date with the schoolteacher goes well, despite being cut short by the tragedy and despite his attempt to test her interest by rambling about his virginity. Clearly, she's attracted to the goofy Jewish boy with the Tom Selleck mustache."  -- EW

"I'm optimistic for a second date. After all, Beverly didn't bolt after Ginsberg let it slip that he's still a virgin." -- Rolling Stone

"Based on the charm he displayed on his big date with Beverley, Ginsburg is going to remain a virgin for some time to come. His running commentary on what a terrible date he was, however, was pretty amusing." -- Huffington Post

"The younger Ginsburg is a bundle of neuroses, and while still in the cocoon of not knowing the tragic news, offers an incredibly frank assessment of himself. 'I'm sure my father told you what a Lothario I am, but I am not. I'm very anxious about it. I've never had sex. Not even once.'" -- LA Times

"And they went in unto Noah into to the ark."

"'The Flood' was, in part, about who you call when the flood waters are rising. In the wake of a tragedy like the assassination of an inspirational leader, where do you find your comfort? -- Collider

"The episode's title 'The Flood' comes from Mr. Ginsberg's Biblical admonition, 'In the flood, the animals went two by two. You're going to get on the boat with your father?' It's no coincidence that he cites the story of Noah, the original dad with a drinking problem. When his own personal apocalypse comes, will Don have anyone to march with? -- EW

"Most of the scenes in the rest of the episode featured two people. Two by two, as happened when people boarded the Ark during the flood. This being 'Mad Men,' most of the pairings weren't quite in harmony." -- Huffington Post

"'The Flood' presents various stage of that process - pairing up and becoming parents. Ginsberg's date is its first step. Don is rediscovering it, years into the storm, in his newfound affection for his son. And Pete is realizing he is losing it, as Trudy turns down his offer to return home comfort her and their daughter through the MLK tragedy." -- US News

Peggy's getting it all, but are we happy about it?

"She loses the bid on upper east side condo, but when Abe mentions the prospect of them having children together, [Peggy] lights as if she has won already everything else. The once lowly secretary now has it all, or most of it, anyway: a boyfriend, financial security, a career, a boss who adores her." -- US News

"Abe...is encouraging his girlfriend to buy something in the "West 80s." And Peggy has fallen hook, line and sinker for this plan, even though Abe's not ponying up a cent for this purchase. Why? Because he slipped the phrase "raising our kids" into his argument for moving into a more "diverse area." Those three little words knocked all sense of pragmatism out of Peggy's head and reduced her to a giggling schoolgirl. Don't let that guy's name appear on any legal documents until he's put a ring on it, Pegs." -- Rolling Stone

"When [Abe] mentions the fact that he didn't see them raising their kids in the tony Upper East Side, Peggy radiates relief and joy. Where Don's marriage was a makeshift thing thrown together over a vacation to Disneyland, Peggy's will be one constructed slowly, brick-by-brick." -- EW

"It's hard not to have my heart tied up in knots when Peggy looks as hopeful as she did after Abe mentioned the prospect of children. I desperately want Peggy to have hope in her life...But I can't help but feel that, as with the case with the apartment, Peggy and Abe are not 'meant to be.' In my view, Peggy is settling for this guy, and because she's awesome, I want more for her than she wants for herself. But experience has been a harsh teacher, as evidenced by Peggy's intermittent desire to tamp down her exuberant smile. Oh Pegs. I want more for you, but I also fear that you want more than you're going to be able to handle." -- Huffington Post

"I've never seen Peggy happier. I am eager to follow her quest to have it all (mom, breadwinner, supporter of starving journalist) as well as her real estate hunt." -- Slate

Are we on Betty's side this week?

"What didn't work for me: I didn't believe that Betty, despite being the worst, would really want her kids in the city, to the point of not letting Don just come and get them the next day. Betty may be a horrid mother sometimes, but that seemed unreasonable, even for her. What an ungainly plot contrivance." -- Huffington Post

"Speaking of personally exploiting the assassination: I think Betty's right when she accuses Don of using fear of rioters as a pretext to get out of his parenting duties." -- Vulture

"Betty is petrified that the world is gonna go up in flames, and the flames are gonna creep up to her door. She doesn't want her kids to see the world burning on the TV. She denies it all, to the point where she guilt-trips Don into picking up the kids for the weekend and not breaking their child custody routine." -- Vulture

"Though she requires Don to pick up the kids, is it of any wonder? He did forget them, and he does ignore them (and also, Betty has a tendency to call him during times of crisis)." -- Collider

And Ethan from Lost has a cameo as "Randy!" What does it mean?

"Creepy Ethan from "Lost" turned out as an out-to-lunch weirdo." -- Huffington Post

"Randall was just another reminder that the kind of elegant obfuscation that is Don's stock in trade is largely going by the wayside. Don keeps encountering people who assault his worldview -- hippies, rock chicks, swingers, drugged-out weirdos -- and if, like Harry, he thinks this is all going to stop soon, he's got another thing coming." -- Huffington Post

"It's like Randy is a 1960s version of Saturday Night Live's Stefon." -- TV Line

"'This is an opportunity,' said Randy the insurance guy, an awkward, on-the-nose moment in an episode filled with such moments. 'The heavens are telling us to change.' But even if Don wants to change (which he keeps saying) and tries to change (what could be more of an attempt to change than spending time with his son?), it's not clear that he can change in any permanent way. Sometimes redemption doesn't come so easily." -- Salon

Dan Deacon Releases Two-Screen Interactive Video


Dan Deacon's Record Store Day single "Konono Ripoff N°1" surrounds upbeat melodic bloops with an incessant doorbell-like ringing, muffled vocal harmonies and frenetic drumming, a little like (duh) Konono N°1. The song's new video compiles jittering GIF-like two-frame animations of Deacon's arty Baltimore peers, each posed with an object of his or her choice: a porcelain cat, a pewter dwarf, a tablet computer, etc. Alone, maybe not enough for a Music Video of the Day. But used in conjunction with Deacon's proprietary smartphone app, it's something special.

That app, you might remember, uses the sounds of Deacon's live performances to generate a synchronized light show on audience members' screens. (It also includes a built-in synthesizer and other features.) Open it up with "Konono Ripoff N°1" playing on another device (you might not want to do this at work) and click on "I'm at a Show" -- the totemic objects appear rotating on your touchscreen in sequence with the music video. Tilt your phone from side to side to adjust the angular velocity. Nifty.

Here's What Old People Think About Gay Sex


From the maker of "What Gay Guys Think About Vaginas." and "What Lesbians Think About Penises." comes YouTube user Davey Wavey's newest video montage people reacting to sex things, "What Old People Think About Gay Sex." This group of seniors are part of the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center's Seniors Services Program, so they have ample experience under their belts and quite a few delightful things to say about the topic at hand. Watch as seniors who are much cooler than your grandparents talk about "squishy" sex, chasing skirts, and reminding everyone that having sex is always better than talking about it.

A Beastie Boys Memoir + an Adam Yauch Playground on the Way

Screen shot 2013-04-29 at 4.53.37 PM.png

Big Beastie Boys news this week with the announcement of a new "oral history" and the re-naming of a city park in honor of Adam Yauch, who passed away last May 4th.  According to the New York Times, Mike D and Ad Rock have inked a deal with a division of Random House called Spiegel & Grau with a book due out in fall 2015.  The publisher says the book will be a "multidimensional experience," so maybe that means an accompanying CD and DVD.  Meanwhile, over in Brooklyn Heights, it looks like the debate over exactly what park gets the honor of a name change to the "Adam Yauch Playground" will be announced later this week.  The Brooklyn Heights Blog says it will be Palmetto Park on the corner of Willow Place and State Street.

Oh No, The Porn Parody of Parks and Recreation


1.  Oh gawd, here's the trailer for the porn parody of Parks and Recreation, "Porks & Recreation." As much as we love making fun of porn parodies, Parks and Rec is too sweet and well-meaning a show for this. [via Death and Taxes]

spl534220_001.jpg2.  Ke$ha was looking unnervingly normal at last night's secret Rolling Stones concert in L.A. [via Dlisted]

3ssionhi.jpeg3.  Paper Person and Beautiful Person of 2012 Ms. Fitz art directed this shoot of SSION in Black Magazine. SSION, as usual, looks cuckoo.

ronnie-spector-banner.jpg4.  Rock legend Ronnie Spector's critically-acclaimed multimedia production Beyond The Beehive will return to NYC. Two performances will be held at the City Winery, one on May 6th and the other on 7th. Tickets can be found here. [via Press Release]

nph-instagram.jpg5.  Neil Patrick Harris is now on Instagram, people. [via Pop Culture Brain]

phospho-sheep.png6.  The world's first phosphorescent sheep have supposedly been born in Uruguay. Scientists used a gene from jellyfish to make the sheep glow in the dark and the sheep seem perfectly healthy. That is, if they're not radioactive KILLER SHEEP. [via Science World]

7.  If we had a hard time believing in phosphorescent sheep, we have a really hard time believing in this Kickstarter campaign. These guys claim to have developed a wool shirt that feels like cotton and that you can wear 100 days straight without wrinkles or odor. [Thanks Gary!]

Willie Nelson Auditions For Gandalf in The Hobbit 2


In honor of Willie Nelson's 80th Birthday today, he went on Conan and made a stoner-y audition reel for the role of Gandalf in The Hobbit 2. It's awesome and we highly recommend that Willie wears his wizard cape and hat to any upcoming shows. Even Ian McKellen appreciated the clip (and so totally doesn't feel threatened when Willie tells Peter Jackson to "lose that Ian McKellen guy"). [via Gawker]

On balmy spring days, Mac the Boston Terrier loves cruising around Cobble Hill in his VW bug, blasting Fun. [via Hyper Vocal]

Screen shot 2013-04-29 at 5.54.43 PM.png
Screen shot 2013-04-29 at 5.55.31 PM.pngScreen shot 2013-04-29 at 5.55.44 PM.pngOur new favorite parody Twitter alert: "80's Don Draper." [Thanks Alex!]

Screen shot 2013-04-29 at 6.02.30 PM.pngArtist Richard Prince made a composite of all of Jerry girlfriends' (honestly most of them were one-episode flings) on Seinfeld. [via Uproxx]

Screen shot 2013-04-29 at 6.06.40 PM.pngWe can't decide if this is a hilarious move or a d*ck move (probably both) but Norman Reedus from The Walking Dead photobombed this Game of Thrones fan photo. [via Uproxx]

tumblr_m3464qj3d81qgdjv8o1_500.pngGood read, good read. [via Tall Whitney]

Screen shot 2013-04-29 at 6.24.28 PM.pngHere's Jamie Foxx looking real derpy on the set of The Amazing Spiderman 2. [via Buzzfeed Celeb]

Watch Martha Stewart sign up for Match.com on The Today Show. Matt Lauer is visibly uncomfortable when she starts talking about wanting to "go to bed with somebody." [via NBC]

tumblr_mm1f14A3ja1r0nl89o1_500.jpgAHHHHHHHHHH! [via Coin Farts]

tumblr_mlt07ooTau1rbs1f8o1_500.jpgDon't show me this tip again. Thanksbye. [via Laughter Key]