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    jarjar.jpgVICE did the world a favor and interviewed Ahmed Best, the man who played Jar Jar Binks in the Star Wars prequels, because sometimes you just have to wonder: "What's that guy up to?" There's a lot of interesting stuff in the interview about Best's perspective on the role, criticism of the character, and George Lucas' directing habits (namely . In fact, Best kind of throws Lucas under the bus for many critcisms that fell on young actor Jake Lloyd (playing Anakin Skywalker).

    But perhaps the most unflattering thing George Lucas does in the course of Best's account is passive-aggressively telling Michael Jackson he didn't get the role of Jar Jar by introducing Best to Jackson backstage at Wembley arena as his Jar-Jar. Apparently, Jackson wanted to do "prosthetics" and actually play the character (like in the "Thriller" video), where Lucas wanted to turn everything into a gleaming CGI turd. To be honest, Jackson avoided taking a huge L, but that doesn't mean there aren't a lot of sad things about this story. Let's rank them, from least sad to saddest.

    5. Ahmed Best Getting His Feelings Hurt -- I have nothing against Ahmed Best, but having George Lucas be kind of a dick to you by introducing you are "Jar Jar" and embarrassing you in front of Michael Jackson is probably not that sad in the grand scheme of things, especially when it's part of the experience of joining massive, beloved franchise.

    4. Michael Jackson Getting His Feelings Hurt -- I know what I just said! But, as weird and creepy and probably a bit predatory as Michael Jackson was, it's not hard to imagine his childlike enthusiasm for being Jar Jar, and how disappointing it might have been to find out via being introduced to the person who got the part instead.

    3. The Fact That Michael Jackson Even Wanted to Play Jar Jar in the First Place -- I guess people were really excited about the Star Wars prequels at the time, but the thought that the dude who made "Billie Jean" and "Smooth Criminal" and "Thriller" and is low-key the best part of The Wiz would want to be involved as this weirdo caricature marketing opportunity is just a bummer.

    2. Lucas' Worry that Michael Jackson Would Be "Bigger" Than the Widely Panned Phantom Menace -- Thank god there wasn't a pop sideshow to distract from the important work of art that was The Phantom Menace. Now all we have to pay attention to is the movie, and...

    1. The Existence of the Star Wars Prequels -- More than enough words have already been spilled and time wasted thinking about how horrible these movies are (though if you want a refresher, the infamous 70-minute Phantom Menace review is still worth your time). Kids will basically love almost anything thrust in front of them. Accordingly, entertainers making art explicitly for children should feel a sense of obligation to give them something they can look fondly on as adults, rather than with a deep sense of shame that they wanted to see this on their seventh birthd -- wait, what were we talking about?

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    Put down that dandelion coffee because the haute-du-jour drink of today is apparently, literal fat water. 

    Yep, FATWater, created by Dave Asprey, aka the founder of butter-infused Bulletproof Coffee, is the newest paleo/gluten-free/vegan/low-calorie liquid that triggers weight loss by ketosis and increases hydration. Because who doesn't love to be hydrated while their body eats itself? 

    But how is it possible to drink fat and lose weight, you may ask. Why am I not getting ripped from my excessive milkshake intake? Should I start eating butter with every meal? Was Paula Deen onto something?According to Asprey, he has made it so his "patented coconut oil nanoparticles" help your body absorb water better and burn fat at the same time. Holy shit! 

    And while it's not creamy, it apparently tastes "wetter on the tongue." Which is good, seeing as how it's, well, water. That is, $30 water.

    [h/t Munchies]

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    It turns out that the cellphone-slinging, Delevingne-pushing, airplane disrupting model Naomi Campbell is just super method. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.

    Today, FX announced that the modeling legend will join the cast of American Horror Story: Hotel. She'll be playing a fashion editor (and Lady Gaga's character's nemesis). Naomi has dabbled in television in the past -- from this year's Empire to an episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

    AHS creator Ryan Murphy has described Hotel as "bloodier and grislier" than the previous seasons, but until it premieres in October, just watch the latest teaser on a loop.

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    Hoo boy, yeah, you won't be getting "No Sleeep" tonight, especially after putting Janet Jackson's sultry new video on repeat.

    The first visual from Janet's hotly-anticipated new album, "No Sleeep" has us following her around candlelit digs on a rainy day, haunted by sentimental projections of her late brother Michael -- which fits well with her gentle "I'm missing you" croon.

    Watch the video above and let the "Queen of Insomnia" keep you company tonight.

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    E! has been releasing clips all week ahead of Caitlyn Jenner's docuseries I Am Cait, premiering this weekend, and today we get a new snippet showing Jenner's youngest daughter, 17-year-old Kylie, meeting her for the first time.

    Though the rest of the Kardashian family has said they were most worried about how Kylie would deal with the change, she exclaims, "hey pretty," when she walks into the room and sees Caitlyn with her and makeup done.

    Later in the segment, Bruce's 88-year-old mother Esther gives Kylie a portrait of herself when she was 17. When Caitlyn points out that Esther was already married at the time, Kylie acknowledges the tyga in the room and remarks "kinda like me." Caitlyn good-naturedly bristles at her comment and the entire scene is touching and funny.

    Does this mean E! has made a reality show that might actually make us feel something? What is happening?

    I Am Cait debuts Sunday, July 26th, at 8 pm. 

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    Screen Shot 2015-07-24 at 7.04.47 PM.pngBest Headline of the Week: Because how can you beat "Pooping cyclist started foothills fire"? -- Sandra Song

    Screen Shot 2015-07-24 at 7.10.56 PM.pngPop Star Most In Need of The Elements of Style: Katy Perry. She posted this incomprehensible, punctuation-starved tweet defending Nicki Minaj during her feud with Taylor Swift this week. Girl, what? -- Elizabeth Thompson 

    Least Sincere Apology: Ian's on this week's Bachelorette Men Tell All episode, when he got down on one knee as if proposing to his fellow contestants and declared that his behavior on the show was "not a representation of who I am." Leave it to Ian to make an apology all about him. -- Suzannah Weiss
     bagels.jpgMost Mouth-Watering Sculpture: Artist Hanna Liden's Everything installation at Hudson River Park celebrates New York's signature delicacy, the bagel. A "not edible" sign may be in order. -- S.W.

    article-piers-morgan.jpgMost Tasteless Insult: Mail Online's US editor-at-large Piers Morgan referred to Nicki Minaj as a "stroppy little piece of work," once again proving he's just an internet troll with a more professional-sounding title. -- S.W


    Photo via Women's Running

    Best Fitness Cover of the Month: The August 2015 issue of Women's running made some real strides (lol) when it chose a plus-size model for its cover. There has only been positive feedback to this refreshing image that proves that runners come in all sizes. --J.K.

    Best Cosby Slam
    : Judd Apatow's scathing Cosby impersonation during his standup set on the Tonight Show this week. -- J.K.

    miley1_3382894b.jpgBest News That Will Probably Scare The FCC: This week, our cover star/all-around badass Miley announced that she'll be hosting the VMA's on August 30th. As for Robin Thicke...let's just hope his invitation was lost in the mail. -- Taylor Silver

    Screen Shot 2015-07-24 at 11.10.06 AM.pngBest Display of Canadian Pride: After Meek Mill called out Drake for using ghostwriters on his songs, Toronto politician Norm Kelly swooped in to defend the King of the 6's honor. -- T.S.

    vagina raymulke.jpgHottest Fashion Accessory:
    Vagina yarmulkes!Perfect for Reform Feminists or if you're just in the mood to freak Bubbie out. -- T.S.

    Best Surprise Album News (You Hear That Frank Ocean?): Though Albert Hammond Jr.'s new LP Momentary Masters doesn't come out until July 31st, you can stream it in full here. Also check out our interview with him where he talks about the new record and scuba diving.

    Screen Shot 2015-07-24 at 11.39.09 AM.pngBest Photo You Didn't Know You Needed In Your Life: It really just speaks for itself.
    -- T.S. 

    Coming soon. 👪❤️

    A photo posted by Chance The Rapper (@chancetherapper) on

    Most Squee-Inducing Instagram: Chance the Rapper has a baby "coming soon"!!! -- S.S.


    Tastiest Artworks: There's apparently an artist named Scorpion Dagger who specializes in Renaissance x hot dog gifs. Because, Internet. -- S.S.

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  • 07/26/15--05:01: The Sunday Funnies
  • Billy Corgan glumly riding Big Thunder Mountain Railroad at Disneyland is the most important photo on the internet. Ever.

    156TM.jpg And that you didn't really do anyway. [Mlkshk]

    British magicians do an entire "shrinking man" magic trick in the background of a Sky News report from Westminster Palace. [TastefullyOffensive]
    Absolutely brutal. [JuliaSegal]

    tumblr_npd9hmMPLQ1s59sbwo1_500.pngFor secret reasons. [AfternoonSnoozeButton]

    Watch some baby goats desperately try to play with an annoyed cat. [JoytheSheep]
    Amy Schumer hands an Australian interviewer his ass after he dares to call her Trainwreck character "skanky." Peak cringe toward the end. [Buzzfeed]
    6 tubby pug pups sleeping peacefully in a row = scream forever. [LaughingSquid]
    tumblr_nrzz2k5i191tka6elo1_1280.jpg Sometimes you just need to get away from it all. [LaughterKey.]

    tumblr_np6ru4dFkm1rgh5s7o1_1280.jpgIt takes a village. [AfternoonSnoozeButton]

    pooping cyclist.pngBest headline of all time
    A blind chihuahua tests a bumper guard his owner made for him so we won't run into walls. Whoscryingimnotcrying. [LaughingSquid]

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    E! debuted Caitlyn Jenner's I Am Cait docuseries Sunday following and many online teasers and mounting buzz, but we had to wait until last night to see Kanye West and Kim Kardashian meet Caitlyn. Kanye, who famously keeps himself and his daughter off of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, made a short cameo about half way through the episode, commending Caitlyn for her courage to live her life openly. "I think this is one of the strongest things that has happened in our existence as human beings. We're so controlled by perception," he tells Caitlyn and her family. (West's beliefs that perception is the enemy of living freely is well-documented. In our April issue, West speaks at length about the oppressive effects of "smoke and mirrors." ) He's also switches into the role of Dutiful Son-in-Law as he explains his sock shoes to Bruce's puzzled sister Pam, who tells him she just wants to be cool. It's all very sweet. Watch above.

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    cosby cover.jpgBy now, following developments in the Bill Cosby story can, and maybe should, feel kind of exhausting -- the flood of people who said nothing before trying to distance themselves from the man at the center, the testimony in which Cosby reveals himself to be an utterly un-self-aware monster, the despairingly constant stream of woman accusing him of rape, all threaten blur together into a constant background noise, like a faulty air conditioner but for patriarchy.

    Now the story has found its momentous statement: New York magazine's cover story this week tells the stories of 35 women who have accused Cosby of sexual assault and includes their portraits. The online version includes videos of them speaking out, creating an unbelievably powerful, unified statement about the effects of this man. Whether you're one of the few awful people still unconvinced or simply unclear of the extent to which the collected information makes a statement about the conditions necessary for the creation and perpetration of rape culture, the story is an essential read. But it isn't accessible at the moment.

    A self-described hacker has apparently taken down (including its associated properties like Vulture and The Cut) because he... hates New York City? The story is still developing (and the website still down), but this justification seems fishy at best. Still, New York has made two of the women's stories available on Instagram, which you can and should watch. Then, when the site comes back up, read the whole story again and again.

    Update: The website is back online, so go read the whole story, along with linked stories and videos and photographs from the victims, here. The weight of the 35 women who came forward -- all photographed in similar poses and settings -- is nothing short of remarkable, in the same way the similarities between their stories are crushing. Spend some time with it, and think.

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    Screen Shot 2015-07-27 at 11.39.22 AM.png
    Drop your phone in the toilet this weekend? Fuck the rice trick, cause net artist Molly Soda has a more mystical repair technique via her Virtual Spellbook.

    One part Angelfire and two parts The Craft with a dash of Tumblr, it's a fun, interactive art project that includes important life spells for everything from fixing your busted phone to taking flawless selfies every time to increasing your follower count (no bots!). All you need is a few ingredients (essentials include glitter, candy and USBs), a clear head and pure heart, and it should work like a charm.


    As a writer on the Internet, banishing trolls is probably the first spell I'm going to try out (followed by the "stop checking your ex's social" one), and while there may already be a Chrome extension that hides comments, this is obviously way more fun.

    Via Buzzfeed.

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    Chicago's Lil Durk just dropped the music video for "Lord Don't Make Me Do It," the latest single off the rapper's studio debut Remember My Name. The track has Durk taking drill to ever-darker depths with lyrics like "Sometimes I get the urge to kill a bitch / kill a hoe / And I ain't even violent" and a video that sees him spending half his screentime straitjacketed in a prison cell and writing on the walls with his own blood. But in the wake of the shooting deaths of both his manager and his cousin over the past two years, "Lord Don't Make Me Do It" isn't just a grim new direction for the young artist -- it's a reflection of an ugly, powerful reality. Give it a watch, above.

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    Ah, e-commerce, what doors you have opened for kink-loving customers who rarely leave the comfort of their fandoms. Because whether you skew more superhero or supernatural (or just really want that Darth Vibrator statue that's been circling the web), now it's as easy as pick, click and ship to live out your culturally-relevant fantasies. As such, we've taken the liberty of completing the first step for you -- and we're not talking any accidental Harry Potter broomvibes.

    Twilight Dildos

    An oldie but goodie, this Cullen-inspired cock was known for its sparkle/ability to keep cold. Plus it matches those Edward puss panties.

    Screen Shot 2015-07-27 at 12.46.47 PM.png

    Always wanted to "fistpump" Pauly Shore? Well, now's your chance. There's even two day free shipping with Amazon Mom.

    Screen Shot 2015-07-27 at 12.58.08 PM.png

    Hello Kitty Vibrator

    What's extra weird is that this is, um, officially sanctioned by Sanrio. According to Amazon, "Japan's most famous feline [is] ready to take you to multi orgasm!" 

    Super Hung Heroes

    Purveyor of pervy goodies Doc Johnson has a few new collectibles, namely a series of superhero-themed dildos à la Batman-themed "caped cocks," monstrous, Dr. Bruce Boner Hulks and Thor's "hammers." 

    Tardis Butt Plug

    Even though the Etsy store is no longer producing it, we hear it's bigger on the inside.


    Speaking of Doctor Who toys, at one point there was a 3D-printed Sonic Screwdriver Vibrator. It'll fix up anything.


    There's apparently a company called Necronomicox that specializes in horror-themed toys. And their most "intriguing" offering? A pustule-ridden, raw wounded zombie dick -- in case The Walking Dead is the franchise that gets you going. You can even customize it and ask for a greenish tint if decomposition is more your thing.

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    Founded in 1968 and held at the lovely Quebec City, the Festival d'été de Québec is one of the biggest live music festivals in North. It runs for 11 days in more than 12 venues, and regularly pulls in more than a million audience members. Not being a Canadian, I hadn't heard of it either.

    But though it doesn't have the USA clout of Lollapalooza or Coachella, the Festival has a lot going for it, if you're into seeing live music on big outdoor stages with thousands of people but are kind of out by the kids and their EDM.

    Located by the sea and imbued with a quaint, European village charm, Quebec City is stunningly gorgeous, though be ready to make like Kate Bush and run up some hills. The people are unfailingly friendly, the (often Rickard's Red) is cheap and smooth, and if you've never had poutine, boy, you owe it to yourself. All of the stages are located within walking distance of each other (but seriously, stretch first before hitting those hills) and the line-up is wildly eclectic. (And yes, there is some EDM in the mix.) This was perhaps the only festival this year where one had to choose between catching Owen Pallett or the Doobie Brothers at either the nearby l'Imperial or the le Grand Théâtre de Québec stages. (Since the Doobs haven't toured with Michael McDonald in ages, it was an easy decision.)

    With a linepup that included the Rolling Stones, Keith Urban, Boston, Megadeth, Jack Ü and Iggy Azalea, the Festival d'été de Québec was once again diverse bordering on incoherent. I got to attend for a few days; here were my favorite moments.


    19171825983_fcaabc8ba8_b.jpgPhoto courtesy of Festival d'été de Québec



    Photo by Philippe Ruel, courtesy of Festival d'été de Québec

    1) Playing to a smaller festival crowd than they've been destroying lately, Run the Jewels were nonetheless treated like conquering heroes by the ecstatic, continually moshing crowd. "You bastards, let me catch my breath," said a beaming Killer Mike from the stage, no doubt pleased that even this far up north, people know how to properly do his band's gun and finger salute.


    Photo by Philippe Ruel, courtesy of Festival d'été de Québec

    2) Though the new single they premiered that encouraged us to remember our first dance, first kiss and first other things sounded promising enough, Icona Pop are going to have their work cut out for them to avoid the one-hit wonder tag. But that hit! Watching a huge crowd at the main outdoor venue, located on the Plains of Abraham, scream in mass that they! don't! care! and would be very interested in crashing your car is one of those communal feelings you can only get when crammed together with thousands of people at a local park turned venue.

    3) Though the big names get the big font on the poster, there was plenty of regional talent filling out the local clubs, including Canadian upstarts the Feather. Though they still need to fine-tune their sound a bit, they're clearly onto something: they can quiver like Bon Iver and swell like early Arcade Fire, and one doesn't even need to speak French to feel the pathos they were offering up.

    4) Though I wasn't, unfortunately, able to stick around to watch Primus cover the soundtrack to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (my loss, I'm sure), I did catch their opener: recently reunited '90s guitar-effects scientists Failure. Up against a torrential downpour and a sound system that literally cut them out a few times, Failure pushed on, turning Fantastic Planet deep cuts "The Nurse Who Loved Me" and "Saturday Saviour" into the arena-filling jams they would have eventually become back in the day if these guys hadn't called it quits right as they were starting to catch on. The pianos on the latter, in particular, encouraged some shameless air-keyboarding.


    Photo by Philippe Ruel, courtesy of Festival d'été de Québec

    5) Is Future Islands frontman Samuel Herring the best dancer of our time? Don't bother answering: of course he is. Whether he was doing the "drop and pop" or the "spastic Magic Mike" or the "punch a hole through the space-time continuum" he gave the crowd more energy than they could handle and constantly made me forget there were three other people on stage with him. (All of whom I'm sure work very hard at their jobs: those beautiful whirs on "Spirit" don't play themselves.) Oh yeah, those moves were soundtracked by "Seasons" (Waiting On You)" and other songs that didn't break the internet but prove that there is much more to this group than one of the most magnetic personalities in recent memory.

    19623594855_c8fb7f61ac_b.jpgPhoto by Philippe Ruel, courtesy of Festival d'été de Québec



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    Florence and the Machine have released a double music video for both "Queen of Peace" and "Long and Lost." The two tracks, off of the band's latest How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful LP, are set to a devastating narrative about love and violence.

    The 10-minute short film, which is a bit of Never Let Me Go-meets-Dancer in the Dark, was shot on location on the coast of Scotland. Coupled with the video's seamless choreography, cinematography, and a stellar acting performance from Florence, this would make one hell of a feature length film.

    Watch it above.

    [via NPR]

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    A photo posted by Khloé (@khloekardashian) on

    Khloé, the Kardashian who is always keeping shit real, is joining her sister Kim and becoming a coveted cover star in her own right -- as the latest issue of Complex proves. 

    Appearing as the sexiest gym rat there ever was, Khloé spends most of the insightful interview talking about the important people in her life (read: mainly other Kardashians) and giving us the dish as the self-proclaimed, protective "lion" of the family. An especially applicable notion as she provided some interesting rationale in regards to Kylie's relationship with Tyga.
    "I think at 16 I was probably fucking someone that was in their 20s, for sure. I wouldn't say I was even dating, probably just sleeping with them. But again, Kylie is not a normal 17-year-old. You're not gonna say, "Hey, so what are you doing this weekend?" and have her say, "Having a slumber party at my girlfriend's," or "Going to prom." That's not what Kylie does. Kylie is taking business meetings and bought her first house, or she's going on a private plane with Karl Lagerfeld to take a meeting. That's not even what people do in their 30s. It's a rare circumstance, so let's treat this as a special case."
    There was also some real talk about her ex-hubby Lamar Odom.

    I talk to Lamar as often as I can, which is inconsistent, but not on my terms. When you genuinely feel like that was the right relationship, you're supposed to give it all you can. That's what marriage is about...Lamar is genuinely one of the best people I've ever met, and everyone says that when they meet him. I think Lamar's gonna always be that person [for me] but that's what made it so special. Even if I had it for five years or whatever, it was the best ever and I'm grateful I did. Some people don't get that ever and I had that magic for a long time.
    Reaffirmation about why Kanye is the best.
    Every time I went to a basketball game and he saw me, he would come out of his way to find my seat and give me a hug. Every time I would see him, it was all about Kim. It was so endearing and so cute and genuine. What I love about Kanye is that he wants to build her up instead of take her down.
    Some TMI about Kris Jenner's current sex life.
    Why is a 32-year-old, or whatever he is, why is he talking to a 50-fabulous-something woman? That's just--and I say it to her all the time--weird. Hearing them have sex is wild and I'm traumatized...That shouldn't happen to anybody, but it's happened to me a few times with my mom. When I was younger, I was hiding under my mom's bed for some reason, and her and Bruce started having sex. I was there and I couldn't leave. I had to stay until it was over.
    And of course some insight into her relationship with Caitlyn (formerly Bruce) Jenner, whose transition was difficult for her:
    [Bruce and I] are the closest out of the Kardashian kids. I think what hurt me the most was that we as a family wanted to be a part of his transitioning. I could imagine that it's so lonely. Don't you want people to support you and be there with you? But then I don't know if that's a selfish request.
    She did leave us with this (too real) gem though. Ghosters/general cowards, take note.
    When you fuck someone, why would you not [be cool after you're over].... Like, if someone has seen my vagina, I think it's OK that I say hi and give him a hug hello.

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    Jae Deen and Karter Zaher aren't your average Canadian rap duo -- because instead of woes and haters, they're tackling Islamophobia with a hefty dose of pop culture parody -- and their recent video for "Muslim Queen" is a prime example.

    The duo's "Halal Remix" takes Fetty Wap's smash hit "Trap Queen" and tailors it to the Muslim experience, with this song specifically addressing how Muslim women should be valued and how they're queens. Surprisingly well-written and delivered with impeccable flow, it's an oldie (in Internet years), but a goodie nonetheless. Especially since it's a video meant to normalize the presence of young Muslims in mainstream media, something that's essential to combatting Islamophobia. As Jae Deen said, "Muslims are not all radical and sometimes using humor to say that is effective." 

    Watch the video below.


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  • 09/27/15--05:10: The Sunday Funnies
  • 15XZX.gif

    Pumpkin spice latte! [Mlkshk]

    Meet Eugene Bostick, an 80-year-old Fort Worth retiree who built a dog train for his 9 rescue dogs and takes them on rides around town. Crying, crying, cryyyyyyyying. [TheDodo]

    tumblr_m5z19uYUAf1qa77p6o1_1280.jpgSo! [LaughterKey]

    tumblr_nu0om6EtrK1rqyr6xo1_1280.jpgSame. [LaughterKey]
    15XYS.gifShout out to the dude behind him. Bayside always had the best 35-year-old high school sophomores. [Mlkshk]

    tumblr_nmi3q6dSNH1rby04wo1_1280.gifStanding in the corner, checking your phone every 5 seconds like 'they hate me cuz they aint me (but also because I'm just here and no one really wanted me to come anyway and I should just go home because what is the point of this and everything I say is wrong and boring and I am bad)," SON!  [LaughterKey]

    tumblr_nput4wvL4p1ryx3nto1_500.pngGood times. [FYouNoFMe]

    tumblr_n7uu5zL2V71r2tfp0o1_1280.jpgFact: The "typing" dots are actually a portal to the fiery depths of hell. [That'sSoModeratelyRaven]

    Pit bulls Missy and Laydie may or may not have eaten some sweatpants while their owner wasn't home. It's really hard to tell. [TastefullyOffensive]
     Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce. [FYouNoFMe]

    CKf5FqFUMAAbufI.jpg#PWBL2016. [DustyPeterson]

    Even bad days are made brighter with an emu

    Posted by Sue Holmes on Monday, April 20, 2015

    Here is an adorable video of an emu freaking out when its dog friend walks into the room. [Via TastefullyOffensive]
    Screen Shot 2015-09-26 at 8.09.45 AM.pngGirl, fly away. [FYouNoFme]

    tumblr_nusjoqkikq1rhy325o1_500.jpgWhere all our 28-year-old venture capitalists of Orange County at? [TheOnion]

    tumblr_nm8tb5e1pH1r9dud0o1_500.jpgS(w)a(g)d. [911Police]

    tumblr_mbcbvcgkDF1qahds5o1_500.jpgNo! NOOOOOOOOOO! [Seenen0n]

    Baby Guy the ferret loves bath time and doesn't give an F that his friends keep smacking him in the face. [TastefullyOffensive]
    tumblr_nv76ujVllE1qcecwvo1_1280.jpgWhen the internet stops playing games and just delivers. [Fuks]

    tumblr_nspxrjUqci1srlxolo1_400.png"We've known since you were a squab." [MensRightsActivia]

    tumblr_nuaaqgyuVG1qi67e5o1_500.jpgMary J. Blige will put you on blast, then put you on blast again. [That'sSoModeratelyRaven]

    tumblr_nv3pymJyTq1s71q1zo1_1280.pngCaressatorium. [LiarTownUSA]

    15Y13.gifHave a great Sunday, y'all. [Mlkshk]

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    tfw u lose ur voice in tha club and all u wanna do is dance so u put ur #skechers #shapeups on.

    A photo posted by Miss Queen Sateen + Exquisite (@missqueensateen) on

    [Photo via Instagram]

    When Paper cover girl Kim Kardashianproudly endorsed Skecher Shape-ups in 2011, the fashionable elite quickly turned up their noses at the clunky calorie-burning sneaker. Fast-forward a few years and the gym shoe has become an unlikely nightlife staple, actively sported by two leading ladies in the club scene: NYC's Miss Queen Sateen and Chicago's Jazzeppi Zanaughtti.

    "They're the perfect shoe for a girl who wants to walk seven miles [and] look like a Spice Girl in the process," says Sateen, who copped her pair at a local thrift store. "I really only wear my Shape-ups while serving day looks; I'm 5'7" and usually never go to the club without at least a six-inch boost. All my friends are drag queens, so if I wore Shape-ups to the club, I'd be speaking to the breast plates and chest hair of all my girls."

    IDK what to pack 4 LA, so I'm just bringing this dress, my shape-ups, and a whole lot of attitude

    A photo posted by Jazzeppi Zanaughtti (@poshsplice) on

    [Photo via Instagram]

    Styling the Skechers calls for an outfit that makes Zanaughtti look "as puss as possible," she says. Cascading pigtails, a pouty lip and dewy highlighting are all essentials and to round out the perfect ensemble, she recommends a size 3T Hollister polo, light wash denim mini skirt, "leg, leg, leg," and baby ankle socks that peek just out the top of her Shape-ups.

    Sateen's approach is a bit more trash-glam, opting instead for cheap stripper bustiers and lingerie. During her VFiles "URL 2 IRL" episode, she paired her Shape-ups with a red vinyl teddy and Galliano Dior logo mini skirt. "My pillowy white Skechers perfectly offset the overt sluttiness of the look," she says.

    Though she's adamant about leaving her sneakers at home, Sateen remembers an evening at Susanne Bartsch's weekly On Top party when her Shape-ups "saved the night." While hosting with her husband Exquisite, she suddenly lost her voice from speaking over the loud music. "As a singer, I didn't dare utter another word to save my voice," Sateen says. "But as a host, it's my duty to entertain the club goers, so thank Goddess I packed my Shape-ups. I slid them on and proceeded to the dance floor, [where] I vogued, dipped and swirled the night away."

    u better shape up #shapeups #sketchersgirl

    A photo posted by Miss Queen Sateen + Exquisite (@missqueensateen) on

    [Photo via Instagram]

    Though they might be a lifesaver when you want to extend your stamina at the club, Zanaughtti challenges the workout draw of Shape-ups, suggesting that a kitten heel would lead to more shapely calves. But unlike Sateen, she says she'll turn up to a party wearing her Shape-ups and not just pack them in her bag for when her feet hurt. She says they help her "dance without being inhibited because you're worried your [heels] are one twirl away from you hobbling home."

    Like any micro-trend, the lingering question is if the look is palatable enough to affect a wide-reaching audience. "The world probably hasn't caught on yet because Shape-ups are totally tacky," Zanaughtti says. "I myself love to have a tacky bitch moment regularly." Sateen confessed to genuinely loving the sneaker's synthesis of form and function, but like "in all great fashion, a sense of humor is required." 

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    Screen Shot 2015-09-25 at 12.48.57 PM.pngphoto by Andrew Piccone

    "For me, the most badass thing you can do is to be embarrassing," Ben Hopkins, the 23-year-old vocalist and guitarist for the Brooklyn-based queer punk band PWR BTTM, says. Embarrassing is also how Ben describes the group's buzzy debut LP, Ugly Cherries, out now. Hopkins and co-vocalist/drummer, Liv Bruce, 22, weave a grungy, thrashing sonic tapestry that's good for everything from head banging (like the crashing "West Texas" and title track "Ugly Cherries") to staring at your bedroom ceiling (the Magnetic Fields-esque "C U Around"). But it's the vulnerability of the band's songs that sets this musical duo apart in the wildly diverse scene of rising musicians in New York.

    It's refreshing to hear a band like PWR BTTM, who relocated to Brooklyn from Annandale-on-Hudson upstate (where they both attended Bard College), discuss things like sexuality, relationships, and gender identity with such fiery sincerity. Both musicians identity as genderqueer, and seamlessly rearrange expected pronouns in their lyrics. Some highlights from the album include lines like "Queerer than the brightest day,""My girl's so sad/everything I do makes him mad," and "I want a boy who thinks it's sexy when my lipstick bleeds."

    That the duo would be so open and would challenge certain conceptions of gender and sexuality makes sense considering that their very name invites us to revel in discomfort. And with  the experiences of gay and trans folk being brought to the forefront like never before, their arrival on the music scene becomes that much more important. The two started making music together shortly after meeting at a college party; the name came as a result of Liv, who as a teen, Liv was inspired by legendary queercore bands like Limp Wrist, threw around some theoretical band names with a friend like My Ass Hurts, and Hissy Fit, before thinking of PWR BTTM.

    "We're living in a time where people are ready to hear queer stories," Liv says. But at the same time, the pop-y visuals and Tumblr-friendly aesthetics also mean they run the risk of being dismissed by skeptics as a gimmick. Rest assured, these two are the real deal; along with the nuanced subject matter their music is built around, PWR BTTM are legit rockers. Ben can fucking shred.
    "All you can do in life is to tell the truth," Ben says. "A friend of mine (NYC performer Jack Ferver) told me that you should take your personal myth, and make it iconic." It's easy to watch one of the band's chaotic, passionate live shows that features the duo in drag and think 'iconic,' even in their early stages of notoriety.
    "Our drag isn't fishy, or club kid," Ben says. Instead they describe their performance looks as  "catastrophic panic attack at Ricky's" (Liv) and "Kabuki falling down the stairs into a Wal-Mart craft store" (Ben). The result is messy and effortlessly true.
    Liv recalled a stint in a "straight boy band" years ago. "I started wearing lipstick when we performed, and it just kind of stuck; it felt empowering." Ben adds to this: "Drag is my armor."
    With their debut album receiving applause from the major music authorities, including a glowing review in Pitchfork, and a tour this fall (with bands MITSKI and Palehound), PWR BTTM's audience is increasing every day, with fans flocking to their mix of unapologetic queerness and biting rock riffs.
    Despite the hints of coming stardom, the two seem firmly planted in the moment, already working on new tunes, new music videos, and most importantly, staying true to themselves. It's something eerily (and hilariously) prophesized in the song "Dairy Queen," when Liv sings, "We could get so famous that we both get shot, but right now I'm in the shower."

    Ugly Cherries is out now, you can buy it HERE

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    photo via Julian Mackler/BFA

    [Update 09/28/15, 12:20 p.m.: Man, man buns just can't catch a break. In addition to being potentially linked to baldness, it looks like The Man disapproves as well, since BYU Idaho is now punishing men who dare tie up their hair in a messy-chic bun. Yikes.]

    According to a new study, it looks like man buns can cause something called traction alopecia, a condition that leads to baldness around the temples and forehead from repeated instances of overly tight hairpulling -- aka when you pull it back into a man bun.

    "They're putting traction on the hair follicles that the hair is not really meant to take," dermatologist Sabra Sullivan said, telling Mic that man buns could be the reason traction alopecia is becoming more and more common. 

    Granted, this can happen with any hairstyle that causes tensile force at the hair follicles -- which is worrisome for a topknot adherents regardless of gender -- but TBH we stand behind anything that'll ensure the death of the greasy, unwashed man bun. Take a cue from Fabio, y'all.

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