"You don't own a TV? Then what's all your furniture pointed at?" - Joey, Friends
People who smugly humble-brag about not owning TVs at cocktail parties, you are not alone. Below, a list of your celebrity peers who have likely never seen an episode of Hoarders or a "Justice For All" Law & Order marathon over Fourth of July weekend. We don't know how you do it.
Jesse Eisenberg: "I sort of pretend I'm not even in the industry... I don't own a television. I never go to Los Angeles. I even trick myself into being surprised when I'm sent a script. I try to ignore everything except the actual experience of acting. Which in itself is kind of silly." [via NJ.com]
Mark Zuckerberg: "Soon afterward, Zuckerberg wrote on his Facebook page, "Is there a site that streams the World Cup final online? (I don't own a TV.)" [via The New Yorker]
Shailene Woodley: "To be completely honest, I don't own a television so I haven't really watched .... " [via The Star Scoop]
Alan Cumming: "I don't have a television, so I don't see [The Good Wife] on the night it comes out." [Via TheDailyBeast]
Jackson Rathbone: "It's important because I don't own a TV. I watch every kind of media on my computer." [via About.com]
Keira Knightley: "I don't own a TV... I have a projector and I can watch movies or documentaries. I listen to music or read books or see friends." [via Pop Eater]
Carly Rae Jepsen: "I don't own a TV." [via ABC News]
Chloe Sevigny: "Well, I don't have a television, so I don't watch anything regularly." [via HuffPo]
"I haven't had a TV since 1986. I got rid of it in college, and I never looked back." [via Broadway.com]
Jessica Paré: "I don't have a TV, but I'm not one of those people who doesn't watch TV. I thought it would help, but it doesn't. I watch Hulu or Netflix on my computer all the time." [via Vulture] 
Rachel McAdams: "I listen to the news on the radio. I don't have a television and I am really bad at e-mail. [It was] only [recently] that I heard about Twitter for the first time, and it's all I've heard about since. I'm really ignorant." [CelebrityVIPLounge]
Cary Fukunaga: "Literally, I don't have a television. So I don't really know what's happening pop culturally. I read the New York Times. And there's one worldwide cabin blog that I look at." [Via Vulture]
Susan Sarandon: "Ms. Sarandon doesn't have a TV at home..." [via Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
Regina Spektor: "I don't own a TV, don't watch the news, and don't read the papers... I'm not advertising ignorance... but it's what I've had to do, personally, so as not to be depressed and overwhelmed by the world." [Via Tweedmag]
Because not owning a TV is different than not watching TV, honorable mentions go to:
Jessica Lange: "I don't watch TV myself, so I don't expect anybody else to." [Via Examiner]
Madonna, on whether she watches talent competition tv shows: "I don't watch television. Everyone's a bit contest obsessed. I don't actually like the idea of being a judge. It's so, I don't know, subjective -- what's good and what isn't. I think perhaps we're too obsessed with it."
Angelina Jolie: "I don't watch TV and I wasn't reading anything. So I started writing." [Via VanityFair]