1. Now you and your pet can enjoy a rocking chair together (and bonus points if you happen to look like that guy). [via Laughing Squid]2. If you're looking for a unique night out this Saturday, stop by Capitale for a Midnight in Paris French Cabaret Dinner Party hosted by Seth Greenberg, Henry Stimler and Roberto Buchelli. The costume-encouraged fête, inspired by Woody Allen's Oscar-nominated film, will have 1920s-style vaudeville singers, a nine-piece orchestra, flappers, mimes, painters, a champagne tower and more. Click here to purchase tickets.
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4. If you need something to keep you warm on a cold Wisconsin night, read some Bon Iver erotica (not to be confused with Sufjan Stevens erotica). [via Stereogum/Tumblr]5. WE CAN'T WATCH ANOTHER SH*T X SAYS! Oh wait? What's this? Sh*t Girls Say About Girls? WE NEED TO WATCH THIS. [via HuffPo Comedy]
6. WHAT the WHAT? Fox News has invited Lindsay Lohan and Kim Kardashian -- two ladies who clearly possess the same conservative values as the news network -- to be its guests at this year's White House Correspondents' Dinner. Kardashian is bringing her mom as her +1 while Lohan is bringing her defense attorney. Really. [via Gawker]
7. A little rumor is going around that all of the Vogue editors will have to wear pink at this year's Met Ball. [via Fashionista]
8. Apparently Jay-Z has an awful, Farmville-esque game on Facebook. [via Death + Taxes]