
From attending the opening of an envelope...






This year's Givenchy show during NYFW was halted until you and your family arrived.

I still don't know exactly what it is you do for a living, but you've made $53 million already in 2015, so you're doing something right.

Despite what many believe, you're completely in on the joke.
You invented the joke!
You're terrifying. Compassionate. Loyal sister, daughter, step-daughter, and aunt.
You're married to Kanye West.
And best of all, you're an awesome mom!

You are simply the most famous human being on Earth.

But before all of that, you were just a girl who punched her younger sister as she ate Chipotle.
Yes, remember, Kim?
Once, long ago (2008), before the Balmain, you bought yourself a present.
Yes! With your own money. Your mother, your manager -- a glorious turkey vulture -- spread her wings, rolled her spine, and cawed "Treat yourself!" and threw a human femur at you.

You were so happy. You had earned it!

Literally so jealous.
They were all SO JEALOUS!!!!!
Jealous. Jealous. Jealous.
They laughed -- Kourtney and Khloe -- they laughed at you and your big fat Bentley.
"Who does she think she is?!" Khloe sneered.
You were mad, Kim. It's not your fault you're more famous than them.
You waited outside a door, listening to them cackle at your expense.
You decided it was time to teach them a lesson.

Kim walked into Rob Kardashian's apartment at the University of Southern California, where he sat eating Chipotle (before Chipotle was kool) with Khloe, and Kourtney.
What happened next was nothing short of iconic; a moment of authentic sibling-on-sibling rage...a prime reminder of why this family is where they are.
Thank you, Kim. Thank you, Khloe, and your terrible bangs.
Thank you Chipotle.
To 35,000 more years of Kim.