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Lindsay Lohan Announced Her 2020 Presidential Bid

Approx. 20 hours ago, Lindsay Lohan surfaced from the eternal dusk she occupies to announce (via Instagram) that she will be running for president in 2020.

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Apparently inspired by Kanye's now iconic speech at this year's VMAs, where he not-so-ironically announced his 2016 presidential bid, Lohan posted a photo of herself being very esteemed at the 2012 White House Correspondents Dinner, that she most likely scaled a wall to get into.

Oh, and announced that she, too, would run for office in 2020.

Following the trend of her most recent Instas, her caption was indecipherable, and full of mostly non-sequitur hashtags.

She then posted another photo of herself goofing off with Kanye. 

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I'm surprised she didn't include the Google search "Lindsay Lohan Kanye West."

Also...Queen Elizabeth, you know? Because Lindsay's a Brit now! Remember? Hello! Pip, pip. Chimneys! Sure.

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It's easy to see the second post and think, "Oh, there's the wink and the nod! Lindsay's trolling us!" but I'm truly not sure Lindsay has the spiritual capacity for that.

I mean that in the least snarky way possible.

I'm not going to assume Lindsay is off the wagon again, either. It doesn't necessarily even feel like that. 

Something is just...is off, and her Instagrams this year tell the tale.

What that tale is? I don't know.

Puzzling, motivational captions paired with unrelated photos--clearly deep-dive Google searches of herself from her "good hair days" in the past 10 years, and random snaps of her on various luxury getaways.

Just like this photo from September 11th...a horror movie in itself. #merylstreep #harveyweinstein #angelinajolie #oprah

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Here's an array of Lindsay's other cryptic Instagrams this year:


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Will do.

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Carmen San Dieg...oh.
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Captain of her soul.

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Where Are Ü Now

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Who you talking to, boo?

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Amen :(.

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Go to sleep, Lindsay.

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I could be very wrong. Maybe she's just operating on a different wavelength than all of us, and I'm the fool for not being able to parse through it all.

She could be a good president. 

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Hell, she good be fucking great.

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I'll vote for Lindsay...as long as Dina Lohan gets to be Press Secretary. 


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