Best Headline of the Week: Because how can you beat "Pooping cyclist started foothills fire"? -- Sandra Song
Pop Star Most In Need of The Elements of Style: Katy Perry. She posted this incomprehensible, punctuation-starved tweet defending Nicki Minaj during her feud with Taylor Swift this week. Girl, what? -- Elizabeth Thompson Least Sincere Apology: Ian's on this week's Bachelorette Men Tell All episode, when he got down on one knee as if proposing to his fellow contestants and declared that his behavior on the show was "not a representation of who I am." Leave it to Ian to make an apology all about him. -- Suzannah Weiss
Most Mouth-Watering Sculpture: Artist Hanna Liden's Everything installation at Hudson River Park celebrates New York's signature delicacy, the bagel. A "not edible" sign may be in order. -- S.W.
Most Tasteless Insult: Mail Online's US editor-at-large Piers Morgan referred to Nicki Minaj as a "stroppy little piece of work," once again proving he's just an internet troll with a more professional-sounding title. -- S.W
Photo via Women's Running
Best Fitness Cover of the Month: The August 2015 issue of Women's running made some real strides (lol) when it chose a plus-size model for its cover.
There has only been positive feedback to this refreshing image that proves that
runners come in all sizes. --J.K.
Best Cosby Slam: Judd Apatow's scathing Cosby impersonation during his standup set on the Tonight Show this week. -- J.K.
Best News That Will Probably Scare The FCC: This week, our cover star/all-around badass Miley announced that she'll be hosting the VMA's on August 30th. As for Robin Thicke...let's just hope his invitation was lost in the mail. -- Taylor Silver
Best Display of Canadian Pride: After Meek Mill called out Drake for using ghostwriters on his songs, Toronto politician Norm Kelly swooped in to defend the King of the 6's honor. -- T.S. 
Hottest Fashion Accessory:Vagina yarmulkes!Perfect for Reform Feminists or if you're just in the mood to freak Bubbie out. -- T.S.Best Surprise Album News (You Hear That Frank Ocean?): Though Albert Hammond Jr.'s new LP Momentary Masters doesn't come out until July 31st, you can stream it in full here. Also check out our interview with him where he talks about the new record and scuba diving.
Best Photo You Didn't Know You Needed In Your Life: It really just speaks for itself.-- T.S.
Most Squee-Inducing Instagram: Chance the Rapper has a baby "coming soon"!!! -- S.S.
Tastiest Artworks: There's apparently an artist named Scorpion Dagger who specializes in Renaissance x hot dog gifs. Because, Internet. -- S.S.