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Friday Superlatives: The Best, Worst And Weirdest Of The Week


Best analogy in a porn ad: Pornhub just released a commercial comparing its premium subscription service to Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, which the "king of cheese"'s consortium called "offensive for our producers and their work." So much for trying to give a compliment. -- Suzannah Weiss

Most depressing chart: Donald Trump's "blood coming out of her wherever" debacle wasn't the only B.S. Megyn Kelly faced for calling out the GOP candidate's history of sexism. Watch mentions of Kelly alongside words like "bitch" and "slut" spike in this chart created by Izzy Galvez using Twitter data. -- S.W.

Fox News viewers had no issue w/ Megyn Kelly for at least 12 months until she asked Trump tough questions. #GOPDebate pic.twitter.com/cm8GzaYgkC

-- Izzy Galvez (@iglvzx) August 7, 2015

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Best Fast-Food Creation Myth: One punctuation-less tweet from One Direction's Liam Payne was apparently all it took to bring back Burger King's cult Chicken Fries, seeing as how he allegedly caused a surge in social media mentions by (most likely) forgetting to specify he ate both chicken and fries. -- Sandra Song
Worst Medical Advice: Apparently the "esteemed" Dr. Ric Gordon condoned a "concentration camp-style diet" this week on the Today show, reasoning that, "there were no overweight people in the concentration camps." Um, what...? -- S.S.

Most Polarizing Food Mash-Up: Japan has beat us to it once again with ramen-flavored ice cream. After all, that "sweet and salty" combo is still a trend, right? --S.S.

Best Tribute on a Speedboat: The death of beloved veteran Brooklyn rapper Sean Price has prompted an outpouring of support and remembrance, but none quite like this video posted by the elusive MF DOOM, in which the rapper appears to be almost literally sailing off into the sunset. -- Eric Thurm

Best New Activity for NYC Stoners
: Riding the adorable, otherworldly new SeaGlass Carousel that opens to the public August 20th at Battery Park. So many colors, so many shimmering rays of light.....so many huge 12-foot-fish fish to loom over you while you're tripping the undersea light fantastic. Actually, maybe this is a bad idea. Watch the Times'rhapsodic video above.--Elizabeth Thompson

Screen Shot 2015-08-14 at 5.43.06 PM.pngBest Writing on Kim Kardashian and Contouring, Ever:Arabelle Sicardi's Racked.com piece"I Attended a 50-Step Contouring Class With Kim Kardashan West." Sicardi sat-in on a dizzying, $300 Kardashian "makeup masterclass" with longtime KKW makeup artist Mario Dedivanovic, who practiced his technique on our favorite cover girl in front of a room of eager pupils. Per Sicardi, Kardashian-West's multi-mascara, multi-concealer, multi-multi-multi-step beauty process is born not from mere vanity but, "out of necessity from the lack of chill around her, and in desire to be the best at what she does: being a celebrity version of Any (Beautiful) Girl, a sweet woman of the cellulose. A living, celebrity, cyborg ghost -- her video game self is as real and as malleable as her human body, she curates both selves with a certain amount of freedom and control." Read the whole excellent thing here. --Elizabeth Thompson

Worst Political Attempt at "Getting" the Internet: Hillary Clinton's campaign attempted to use "cool" things like "emojis" to talk about a very serious issue -- student loan debt, asking people on social media to respond by describing their feelins in "3 emojis or less." It was pretty tone-deaf on multiple levels, but especially because the campaign didn't ask respondents to use based emoji, which is maybe why Clinton lost Lil B's crucial endorsement. -- E.T.

Least Bad Response to the Sesame Street-HBO News: Most of the jokes about Sesame Street moving to HBO are bad, but generally good Twitter account @Seinfeld2000's was great because it managed to both mock the hackiness of the other jokes while conjuring up gross imagery about Grover. Congrats, everyone. -- E.T.

Sweetest Reaction to Obama's Vacation Playlist: Will Sheff of Okkervil River, whose "Down Down the Deep River" appears on Obama's playlist, is really excited about the whole thing. He told Paper:

"The news about the President's playlist has made for a crazy day. Back when I was a broke video store employee trying to pressure my friends into coming out to my Monday night bar gig, I certainly never dreamed that the President of the United States would have my song in his ears at some point later in my life. Not only because that wasn't on my radar at all but because the world was different then -- there was still money in CDs, streaming services didn't exist, "indie rock" still felt like a mostly invisible micro-genre, and the President was supposed to stay at semi-remove from pop culture. We live in a different world now, of course. I have no idea how "Down Down the Deep River" found its way to the President. If I were being cynical I'd suspect there's someone whose job it is to shoot some jams his way. If I wanted to pay myself on the back about it I'd suspect that he likes the groove and the keyboard hook and he appreciates that there's a more complicated narrative on top. The fact that he chose that particular song has been kind of personally validating because it's one of my favorites - so much so that I've spent the last two years writing and directing an elaborate, expensive movie version of the film that we're just now setting up some screenings for. Maybe I should send him a DVD?"
That's really sweet. Congrats, Will. -- E.T.

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