Best Documentary of the Week: Florida Man, an hour-long documentary highlighting the parking lot-loitering, hardscrabble men of various Florida cities. Filmmaker Sean Dunne and his crew drove around at night, interviewing anyone who looked interesting to them. And, as we all know, Florida is is filled with only with the very interesting. Check out the trailer above and watch the whole film here. -- Elizabeth Thompson
Biggest Banana Hater of the Week: Jack White. Who knows what trauma Jack White suffered at the hands of this fairly innocuous snack, but according to White's leaked contract for his recent performance at University of Oklahoma, bananas are a strict no-no. "This is a NO BANANA TOUR," the rider announces in all seriousness. "We don't want to see bananas anywhere in the building." Perhaps this is why this song exists, just sayin'. -- Gabby Bess
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Best Argument For Multi-Faith Tolerance: The new storyline on Downton Abbey with Lady Rose cuddling up to sexy Atticus Aldridge, scion of a rich, newly ennobled family that happens to be Jewish. Obviously inspired by the Rotshchilds this story is particularly topical in light of the large increase in anti-Semitic incidents in Europe. -- Mickey Boardman
Best Argument For Multi-Faith Tolerance: The new storyline on Downton Abbey with Lady Rose cuddling up to sexy Atticus Aldridge, scion of a rich, newly ennobled family that happens to be Jewish. Obviously inspired by the Rotshchilds this story is particularly topical in light of the large increase in anti-Semitic incidents in Europe. -- Mickey BoardmanBest Shade of the Week: The Twitter user who said "Wiz Khalifa looks like a homeless woman," as seen on Jimmy Kimmel's 'Celebrities Who Read Mean Tweets.' Damn. -- Abby Schreiber
Most Heartwarming Reunion of the Week: Tom Hanks and Wiiiiiiiiiilson's. Former Castaway Tom Hanks was reunited with his beloved volleyball Wilson at a Rangers vs. Bruins game at Madison Square Garden on Wednesday. We wish the happy couple the best. -- G.B.
Best Sexual Sub-Plot on TV of the Week: Broad City's bit about pegging. They really WENT there and Abbi has officially overthrown Marnie's claim to the "raunchiest buttplay scene this season" title. -- A.S.Best Mashup Since Van Lennon's "Imagine a Jump": Nine in Nails' "The Perfect Drug" layered uncannily over "Shake It Off." I am not a hater, nor do I hate hate hate hate hate, but there's just no denying that this version is a massive improvement. -- J.R.
Best Kanye This Week: Old Kanye: I'm all for artistic experimentation and growth, but I'm kind of tired of the whole Paul McCartney thing at this pint. Meanwhile, his single "All Day," a new version of which leaked this week but which will probably never see the light of day, evokes the all-black-wallpaper-sex-dungeon-rage vibe that was what made "Yeezus" so great. Come back Yeezus Ye. -- E.T. Best Celebrity Haiku: Nick "Amish Paradise" Offerman's in the Sundance episode of Inconvenient Interviews with Risa. Ready? Here it is:
Pigs' feet
Cat Stevens
Cancer sucks balls
-- J.R.
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Worst (or Best) Way for Musicians to Discover How Popular/Cool They Actually Are: The Grammy Awards seating chart. Last night, the seating arrangements for this Sunday's show leaked online and the matchups are interesting. Anyone who matters has a front row seat (Kimye, Bey & Jay, Prince) while others (ahem, we're looking at you Adam Levine in the fourth row) discover how far they are from the cool kids. -- Tené Young
Cat Stevens
Cancer sucks balls
-- J.R.
Worst (or Best) Way for Musicians to Discover How Popular/Cool They Actually Are: The Grammy Awards seating chart. Last night, the seating arrangements for this Sunday's show leaked online and the matchups are interesting. Anyone who matters has a front row seat (Kimye, Bey & Jay, Prince) while others (ahem, we're looking at you Adam Levine in the fourth row) discover how far they are from the cool kids. -- Tené Young