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Justin Bieber Is Sorry for Being a Nightmare Douche Prince From Hell

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Justin Bieber is sorry for being so awful for the past year. In a terribly lit cell phone video posted to Facebook, Bieber explains that he hasn't been his true self lately, and that the law-breaking, public-urinating, smarmy douche prince that we've all come to accept as "Justin Bieber" isn't the real him. "I'm not that kid, I'm a person who generally cares," Bieber promises, adding that he wants "to be more gentle and soft" because that's how his mother raised him. Though it's unclear what's behind this newly realized self-awareness, we'll chalk it up to a double-pronged PR strategy meant to set the stage for his new stripped-down album and distract from the general mockery his Calvin Klein underpants ads received. Indeed, Operation Softer-Side-of-Justin has been off the ground for weeks on his Instagram, where he's been posting photos of himself hiking, experimenting with new hats, and tinkering around on an acoustic guitar -- all signs that point to a 20-year-old man in the midst of soul-searching. We like this re-born Bieber. Welcome to the world, our son.

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