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KOOL A.D. Forecasts Your November Horoscopes

horoscopes copy.jpgTrouble with love? Work problems? Mercury retrograde? Don't worry. Rapper, author of the forthcoming novel O.K. (Sorry House), and expert astrological navigator, Kool A.D. will safely guide you through the coming month.


OK, Libby: now that mercury is safely out of retrograde, I would say it's probably best to just do ur thing. Ur doing fine. Ur gonna be great, don't trip. It's all good -- just chill, stay relaxed, and don't freak out. U really are doing great.


Same thing, Scorp. Merc retro's over so just chill, do u, and stay positive. Don't over think anything. Keep that PMA (positive mental attitude). Smoke weed everyday, stay hydrated, and a couple sit-ups and push-ups wouldn't hurt. Let's say like 50 push-ups and a hundred sit-ups (or crunches, whatever, who cares) per day. If ur too embarrassed to go to yoga look up yoga moves on Youtube or something.


Keep doing u. Remember to floss when u can and buy an extra big mouthwash. At some point in ur life, try throwing out all of ur old socks and underwear and buying all new socks and underwear. It's a game changer. Do push-ups, sit-ups, smoke weed everyday, and "stay calm."  If you're under 18 with no record and u see a cop car, and u happen to also be around a cinder block or whatever, then u might as well; juvenile hall is hella mellow compared to regular jail. Or shit, if ur over 18 with no record and ur bored, give it a shot too.


Don't give into self doubt. If you are decisive u will always be pretty good. And if you are decisive and motivated u can do whatever. So just do whatever, feel me? And maybe destroy some police property too. If it's convenient then why not?


Ur a good person, just remember to be patient with people. Everybody's going thru something. Get some fried chicken from Elve's on MLK, that shit crack.


U can afford to be more ambitious. Literally do whatever u want.


That same advice for PISCES goes for u too, ARIES. Aim high, or whatever. Do literally whatever u want to do.


U can ask for a raise.


U can ask for a raise too. Yes -- PISCES, ARIES, TAURUS and GEMINI can all ask a raise any time in the month of NOVEMBER. I'm right on this one, look it up.


You can sneak a raise too if u want, but u should be focusing more on FINESSING. For help, listen to FUTURE: FINESSIN. Last month was an eclipse conjunct Uranus, so compared to that this month is a piece of cake. U can drive slightly above the speed limit this month, in fact u probably should.


You really do not need a raise. You mostly need to listen to FINESSIN. U can go 10 mph above the speed limit. Look to CANCER for guidance.


Don't be hesitant to ask for assistance, Virg. Listen to FINESSIN a couple times but u already know that. Uh... PMA, el pueblo unido jamas sera vencido. No doubt. Word, OK.

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