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Spring Break Cocktails: A Definitive Ranking

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Screen shot 2014-03-09 at 3.05.38 PM.png10. SoCo and Lime Shot
When you were at Mizzou and Trevor from the lacrosse team bought you a SoCo and Lime shot, it basically meant you were getting a bid from Sig Ep. Too bad you didn't go to Mizzou.


Screen shot 2014-03-09 at 3.06.17 PM.png9. Sex on the Beach
When you're 14, this is what you imagine you'll be drinking as a 20-year-old on spring break in Acapulco.

Screen shot 2014-03-09 at 3.05.00 PM.png8. Vodka and Sprite in a 20 oz. Sprite Bottle
It's portable, it's cheap, and it's going to get you hammered because Stephanie from Gamma Phi mixes 'em strong. Good night and good luck.

Screen shot 2014-03-09 at 3.00.24 PM.png7. Strawberry Daiquiri
In theory strawberry daiquiris are delicious but in practice they're not. Unless you're somewhere fancy, most of the time these things come out of a machine that your local Señor Frogs has probably had since 1993. And the last time they cleaned it out was probably 1994.

Screen shot 2014-03-09 at 3.10.10 PM.png6. Bud Heavy out of a Beer Bong
U-S-A! U-S-A!

Screen shot 2014-03-09 at 3.07.14 PM.png5. Tequila Sunrise
The first time you ever tried one was when you were 13 and you went on a family vacation with your mom and her new boyfriend Steve and Steve let you take a sip of his. You're not really sure if you like them much because Steve was kind of a dick but when all the rest of your friends are drinking rum and Cokes, you order one of these because you're sophisticated

Screen shot 2014-03-09 at 3.02.10 PM.png4. Margarita
I can't decide which shorthand is more offensive -- margs or 'ritas -- but who cares because margaritas are so fun and festive. Actually, scratch that. You know who cares? Your blood sugar levels. Especially when you chase a couple of these calorie bombs with a trough's-worth of chicken fingers and loaded nachos for dinner. But we're not gonna food shame here. This is a safe space.   


Screen shot 2014-03-09 at 3.13.10 PM.png3. Tequila Shot
It's a great one-way ticket to public make out-land. 



Screen shot 2014-03-09 at 3.01.33 PM.png2. Piña Colada
There is nothing wrong with a dessert in a cup that tastes like sunscreen.

Screen shot 2014-03-09 at 3.02.46 PM.png1. Corona Bucket
Cold. Cheap. Classic. And you have the added lime wedge bonus, which can double as a cheap way to add some sun-kissed streaks in your hair when you run your fingers through it and forget to shower. Hey, it happens.


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