USA (Ralph Lauren)These uniforms just scream "villains from a John Hughes movie." Can't you just see these two riding up to you like, "what are you doing here? I thought this ski trip was for the kids whose parents could afford it?"
France (Lacoste)
French ennui never looked so...gray.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.25.52 PM.png]()
Germany (Adidas)
Germany says, "Are you high on poppers in a Zubaz store? Because we are!" At least they're acknowledging how homosexual the Winter Olympics truly are unlike some countries.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.24.55 PM.png]()
Sweden (H&M)
The hotness of the models distracts us from the fact that these uniforms are the living embodiment of a pair of Oakleys c. 1999.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.25.18 PM.png]()
Estonia
This is very couples' ski weekend in a less menacing way than the American uniforms.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.35.28 PM.png]()
Russia (Bosco)
R U serious with these schizophrenic ensembles? What are you? Prep school chic or Joe Namath in Steamboat Springs c. 1975?
![Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.26.07 PM.png]()
Lithuania
These remind us of a mid-to-late '90s Central European dance music group.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.50.25 PM.png]()
Canada
Fun, fresh, nice and sporty.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.26.17 PM.png]()
Czech Republic
Basically the Czech team is going to all look like PAPER's Ke$ha cover.
![Screen shot 2014-02-05 at 5.37.31 PM.png]()
Latvia
This whole thing is one big Kokopelli wind chime.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.39.55 PM.png]()
Australia
Sure.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.40.36 PM.png]()
Great Britain (Adidas)
These uniforms and this photo make Team Britain look like a youth gang on Skins.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.41.42 PM.png]()
Mongolia
We're so excited about these.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.43.28 PM.png]()
Switzerland
These uniforms are the Guy Fieri of Olympic uniforms.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.42.25 PM.png]()
The Netherlands
Chic personal trainer look.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.42.53 PM.png]()
Slovenia
These uniforms are very Peeps.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-06 at 4.42.14 PM.png]()
New Zealand
New Zealand just said "fuck it" and recruited a Ninja Assassin to be their ringer.
French ennui never looked so...gray.
Germany (Adidas)Germany says, "Are you high on poppers in a Zubaz store? Because we are!" At least they're acknowledging how homosexual the Winter Olympics truly are unlike some countries.
Sweden (H&M)The hotness of the models distracts us from the fact that these uniforms are the living embodiment of a pair of Oakleys c. 1999.
EstoniaThis is very couples' ski weekend in a less menacing way than the American uniforms.
Russia (Bosco)R U serious with these schizophrenic ensembles? What are you? Prep school chic or Joe Namath in Steamboat Springs c. 1975?
LithuaniaThese remind us of a mid-to-late '90s Central European dance music group.
CanadaFun, fresh, nice and sporty.
Czech RepublicBasically the Czech team is going to all look like PAPER's Ke$ha cover.
LatviaThis whole thing is one big Kokopelli wind chime.
AustraliaSure.
Great Britain (Adidas)These uniforms and this photo make Team Britain look like a youth gang on Skins.
MongoliaWe're so excited about these.
SwitzerlandThese uniforms are the Guy Fieri of Olympic uniforms.
The NetherlandsChic personal trainer look.
SloveniaThese uniforms are very Peeps.
New ZealandNew Zealand just said "fuck it" and recruited a Ninja Assassin to be their ringer.