I wouldn't exactly say I'm a sports fan but when my friend, Jackass
genius, Johnny Knoxville asked me if I wanted to go to the Super Bowl,
how could I say "no"? I met him at his hotel and quickly realized that
my delusions of being famous are just that -- total delusions.
Everywhere we went that day, hysterical fans yelled Johnny's name and
asked for photos and basically made a big stink over him. It's fun
seeing full-grown straight men get hysterical over the star of Bad Grandpa. 
I
went with Johnny and his wife in an SUV to MetLife Stadium and
shockingly there was no traffic at all. Getting there early gave us time
to wander around the Coaches Club before settling into our fabulous
seats in the sixth row, on the 30-yard line. We were pulling for the
Broncos because Peyton Manning went to the University of Tennessee and
Johnny -- surprise, surprise -- is from Tennessee (hence the name "Knoxville").
Sadly, it wasn't a great day for Mr. Manning.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-03 at 12.34.32 PM.png]()
Even if you don't know anything about football, there was an excitement
about being there and seeing 82,000 fans freak out. Right as the game
was starting, I noticed that they flashed Johnny and his wife, Naomi,
and I on the Jumbotron. Luckily I had taken off my coat and was wearing
my L'Wren Scott sparkle cardigan. Let me tell ya, sequins look great on
the Jumbotron.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-03 at 12.31.57 PM.png]()
I was expecting nachos, mozzarella sticks and all
kinds of other rotten, Super Bowl tailgate food. Unfortunately the
Coaches Club was a bit more sophisticated with tacos by Jean-Georges and
sushi by some fancy chef. That said, I had an order of french fries and
two big Mrs. Field's cookies.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-03 at 12.34.20 PM.png]()
Former Paper Cover Boy Bruno Mars
knocked everyone's socks off at Half Time. Naturally as a raging
homosexual, I was disappointed not to see past Super Bowl goddesses like
Beyoncé or Madonna but Bruno is an amazing performer and really drove
the crowds wild. As did the Red Hot Chili Peppers who look like they
haven't aged a day.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-03 at 12.37.26 PM.png]()
There was a moment of excitement when my new boyfriend, Eric Decker, caught a pass. I was so proud we included him in our "Best Butts of the NFL" story.
![Screen Shot 2014-02-03 at 2.41.12 PM.png]()
Since
things looked hopeless for the Broncos, we left at the beginning of the
fourth quarter and, thank god, there was no traffic yet. The New
Jersey police had the craziest uniforms though -- they looked like they
were Bulgarian border guards or something.
Photos by Mickey Boardman and Naomi Nelson
Even if you don't know anything about football, there was an excitement
about being there and seeing 82,000 fans freak out. Right as the game
was starting, I noticed that they flashed Johnny and his wife, Naomi,
and I on the Jumbotron. Luckily I had taken off my coat and was wearing
my L'Wren Scott sparkle cardigan. Let me tell ya, sequins look great on
the Jumbotron.
I was expecting nachos, mozzarella sticks and all
kinds of other rotten, Super Bowl tailgate food. Unfortunately the
Coaches Club was a bit more sophisticated with tacos by Jean-Georges and
sushi by some fancy chef. That said, I had an order of french fries and
two big Mrs. Field's cookies.
Former Paper Cover Boy Bruno Mars
knocked everyone's socks off at Half Time. Naturally as a raging
homosexual, I was disappointed not to see past Super Bowl goddesses like
Beyoncé or Madonna but Bruno is an amazing performer and really drove
the crowds wild. As did the Red Hot Chili Peppers who look like they
haven't aged a day. 
There was a moment of excitement when my new boyfriend, Eric Decker, caught a pass. I was so proud we included him in our "Best Butts of the NFL" story.
Since
things looked hopeless for the Broncos, we left at the beginning of the
fourth quarter and, thank god, there was no traffic yet. The New
Jersey police had the craziest uniforms though -- they looked like they
were Bulgarian border guards or something.Photos by Mickey Boardman and Naomi Nelson