Best Vines of the Week: Rocco Ritchie's Vines, which feature some cameos of his mom, Madonna, looking, uh, less than turned out. Props for keeping it real, Madge. (Or as it real as a middle-aged woman wearing grills is gonna get.) -- Abby Schreiber
Best Advice for Traveling During the Holidays via The Onion: "Exchange knowing glances with the TSA agent. You're one of the good ones. You get it." -- Maggie Dolan
Most Exciting Opening of the Week: Rough Trade, the new Williamsburg outpost of the legendary London record shop-cum-record label, which opened Monday. And, in the two days it's been open for business, the store has already hosted concerts by Sky Ferreira and Danny Brown. Boom. -- A.S.
Best photo that I kept meaning to include in Morning Funnies This Week But Forgot, So here it is: This old timey dog playing the piano in way-sweet glasses. Great job, cool dog! --E.T. [io9]
Best New Home Shopping Network: VFSN (VFILES Shopping Network), which features cameos by Junglepussy and Gerlan of Gerlan Jean hokking all your basic needs: X-Large shorts, Jeremy Scott-designed Baby Bjorns, airbrushed skirts... -- A.S.
Best Parody of the Week (ICYMI): Seth Rogan and James Franco makin' out on a motorcycle in their remake of Kanye's new video for 'Bound 2.'-- M.D.
Most Mouth-Watering Calorie Bomb Thanksgivukkah Food: These pecan pie rugelach c/o Buzzfeed (of all places). -- A.S.
Best Goal-Conqueror of the Week: Paper contributor Jessica Suarez successfully raised $5000 for Oxfam's Philippines relief by her Thanksgiving deadline! Way to go, Jessica! She's still accepting donations, too! Do it. --E.T.
Best Signage of the Week: a woman in South Wales announced to her cheating husband that she was divorcing him via bar signage. Take that Paul. --M.D.
Absolute Dumbest Decision of the Week: Twerking on the subway tracks, as seen in this clip. -- A.S.
Best Reminder to Stay the F Home on Friday: This super-cut of people acting like rabid gorillas at Black Friday sales. [Gawker] --E.T.