Weirdest/Most Glorious Collection of Vines of the Week: These Vines of a guy with a goofy accent trolling wealthy d-bags cruising around in fancy cars. -- Abby Schreiber
Best 90s Comeback Since the Crop Top: Mazzy Star. -- Maggie Dolan
Biggest Blow to Portland's Crunchy Image: this VICE article about how local officials and police are trying to squash Portland's hip-hop scene. In other news, Portland has a hip-hop scene. -- Max Kessler
Strangest Case of Mistaken Identity of the Week: The one involving a Greenpoint woman, whose photo was illegally used to promote HIV and AIDS awareness and implied that she was HIV positive. -- A.S.
Craziest Celeb Conspiracy and Scandal That We Still Can't Wrap Our Minds Around: This one: Beyoncé & Jay Z + Bodyguard + Prostitute + Death + Blue Ivy's Passport + Shape Magazine means someone needs to write this beach read before next summer. -- M.D.
Arrest This Week That Most Makes Us Feel Weird: Sky Ferreira and DIIV's Zachary Cole Smith's arrest for heroin and ecstasy. -- A.S.
Most Eye-Opening/Terribly Depressing Article of the Week: this New York Times piece about the number of employed people with families who live in homeless shelters.
Most Disgusting Realization That Wasn't At All Surprising: Not washing your face at night will make you look like hell. -- M.D.
Hottest Little-Known Celebrity Progeny: Scott Eastwood. -- M.K.
Best News to Come Out of New York Fashion Week: The news that New York designers may actually have listened to Bethann Hardison, Iman and Naomi Campbell's campaign to end racism on the runway. -- M.D.
Favorite Little-Known Celebrity Sibling of the Week: Jennifer Aniston's crust-punk half-brother, who I'm now obsessed with. -- M.K.