In this weekly column, MC/DJ Hesta Prynn pairs pop culture stories with an original playlist.
Yo MTV, Imma let you finish in a minute but when Miley Cyrus is the edgiest thing on your awards show you might need a rebrand. Yes this weekend marks the VMAs, the Awards show that once (arguably) was awesome but now (arguably) is irrelevant. Many fingers are crossed that the amazing lineup will make this year the one to turn it around -- mine included. This week's Five 'n' Five pairs amazing VMA moments from the past with this year's big performers.
1. Britney Spears Comes of Age to "Oops I Did It Again" - "We Can't Stop" by Miley Cyrus
Miley are you okay? In your eyes we still see the performing arts kid and while we kind of don't believe you're actually taking Molly or having threesomes we can't help but wonder just what is going on with that hair? Sigh. We remember when you were tamely dancing onstage with a stripper pole just a few short VMAs ago.
2. Madonna "Like a Virgin" Wedding Dress Floor Writhing - "Applause" by Lady Gaga
Gaga we live for you, we forgive your entire last album and don't even care that you cancelled your tour due to hip surgery yet show no surgery scars. Please give us a Madonna-worthy moment that we won't forget.
3. Eminem's Sea of Look Alikes - "Mirrors" by Justin Timberlake
Dear JT,
It's been a hot minute, seems like things are going really well for you. Honestly we couldn't be happier. So anyway, the guys and I were talking and we were thinking that maybe we could reunite on the VMAs, you know, maybe dress up like puppets and hang from the ceiling, you could beatbox, no bigs. What do you say?
Best,
Chris Kirkpatrick
4. Beyonce's Pregnancy Reveal - "Black Skinhead" by Kanye West
Being "controversial" on MTV is equivalent to revealing your baby's photo on the final episode of Kris Jenner's talk show. (Huh?) Cute kid tho.
5. Nirvana Being Themselves and Killing It - "Same Love" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis
Please just award everything to these guys. They put out a hip-hop song that encourages people to wake the fuck up and smell the human rights. They deserve it all.