Best Throw Back Thursday: Chelsea Peretti! She and Andy Samby grew up together?! Really would have pegged Andy as a Jimmy'Z t-shirt-and-sweatpants kind of a kid, but that sweatshirt is definitely stylin'. -- Elizabeth ThompsonMost Creative Sext: Australian MP Peter Dowling's. He sent a picture of his penis hangin' in a glass of wine with the message, "He wanted wine..." Brilliant. -- Max Kessler
Best Pieces of Plastic of the Week: These 3-D printed figurines of Paper's Kim Hastreiter and Mr. Mickey. -- Abby Schreiber
Most Envy-Inducing Necklaces: Heaven Tanudiredja's, whose baubles are inspired by mental disorders. -- M.K.Best Description of Watching The Canyons: @NotTildaSwinton's (a.k.a Eli Yudin and Carey O'Donnell), who likened it to "being at a Little League game where your child's team is clearly being outplayed, but god damn it if you're not still gonna do the wave." -- A.S.
Dumbest Show That I'm Never, Ever Watching Again Despite the Great Acting: The Killing. Why did I put myself through another season? How is this show still on? This description of the finale that my mom emailed me is really spot-on. Shout-out to my stepdad, Gene! Feel better. -- E.T.
Best Reason to Go to the Gym: This ridiculous commercial Cher did for Holiday Health and Fitness Centers in the '80s. It works almost as well as "Physical." -- M.K.Worst Case of the Douche Chills: This clip of Anthony Weiner -- in which he mocks a British reporter and asks her how he's supposed to take her seriously with such a WHACKY, NUTTY, ARE YOU EVEN SPEAKIN' ENGLISH accent -- will douche chill you to the bone. We are issuing a Severe Douche Chill Advisory. Schools and government buildings are closed for the duration of this clip. Please bring in all pets and and cover plants outdoors. -- E.T.
Trillest Animal of the Week: Sorry cats/dogs, but this week the title goes to bears. For evidence, look no further than this bear straight-up stealing a DUMPSTER and this one riding a Sea-Doo (above). -- A.S.