While breathless "royal baby watch" coverage like "Will the baby be a feisty Leo or a sensitive Cancerian?" trickles out of London, we've decided to round-up some of the most awesomely demented royal baby memorabilia, as found on Etsy, eBay and beyond. Take a peek below and if none of this speaks to you, there's always this greeting card with pictures of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge that look as if a high school sophomore art student attempted to paint in the style of Lucian Freud. Welcome to the nightmare factory.
Terrifying Bonus Vintage Section: