The Only Thing We're Looking Forward to at This Weekend's Electric Daisy Carnival: this Swarovski crystal-encrusted ice cream truck from HeartsRevolution, which will be making its debut at the EDM fest. No word on the ice cream flavors being offered but we do hear that the truck will make scheduled stops throughout NYC this summer, including a stop at The Standard. -- Abby SchreiberWeirdest Contest of the Week: King's County Bar's small penis contest, which seeks to find the least endowed men in Brooklyn. -- Max Kessler
Most Counter-Revolutionary Music Management: Lupe Fiasco's, after his management took over his Twitter following a series of tweets from the rapper about Marxism. -- Jonah Wolf
Event We're Going to Be Blowing Our Paychecks On This Weekend: Ladyfag's annual Pop Souk, which returns this Sunday to the Standard Biergarten from noon-6pm. You can expect the usual glittery array of nightlife denizens, artists, musicians, designers and DJs selling clothing, jewelry, furnishings and crafts. -- A.S.Best Video of the Week: Jim O'Heir's (a.k.a. Jerry Gergich from Parks and Rec) video in which he shows how plus-size people can shop at Abercrombie & Fitch, in light of the resurfacing of an old interview in which the company's Chief Executive Douchebag, Mike Jeffries, implied they don't want fat people shopping at their store. -- M.K.
Fashion Victim-y Photo That's Been Seared In Our Brains All Week: Julianne Moore's squashed toes, as seen on the Cannes red carpet. -- A.S.Best Flow Chart: The Indy's "Guide to Your Future In Media." -- J.W.
Most Childhood-Ruining -- But Kinda Awesome -- Re-Imagining of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves: Artist Paul McCarthy's upcoming show at the Park Avenue Armory, WS, which will feature "a massive, fantastical forest" and a video showing pantsless dwarves with "penises flapping in the air like pompoms." Oh boy. -- A.S.