In this weekly column, MC/DJ Hesta Prynn pairs pop culture stories with an original playlist.
With the specter of global nuclear annihilation hanging over us, I thought this was an appropriate time to pay homage to some of the world's Most Fashionable Dictators. Whether they're bombing their own people, preciding over genocide, or just plain blaming the Jews, the following leaders are looking good while doing it. This week's Five 'n' Five takes a look at the men leading our wacky world. That shit cray.
1. Muammar Gaddafi/Libya - "Crazy" - Ne-Yo feat. Jay-Z
When he wasn't busy accusing Israel of assassinating JFK, the late Dictator of Libya relaxed in floor length printed robes with matching headdress, Michael Jackson-esque military regalia and blue eyeshadow. Guarded by a unit of all female virgin bodyguards, the "Olivier Zahm of Dictators" collected sunglasses and rocked Africa pendants like the fifth member of A Tribe Called Quest. "You say I'm crazy, I say I'm fabulous."
2. Mobutu Sese Seko/Democratic Republic of Congo - "Crazy" - Gnarls Barkley
Remember that scene in 90210 when Kelly and Brenda showed up at the prom in the same dress? One of the benefits of being an insanely violent dictator is that you can rest assured that this will never happen to you. When Mobutu ruled Zaire he banned all leopard-skin hats except for his own. "Maybe I'm crazy. Probably."
3. Kim Jong Un/North Korea - "Crazy " - Seal
Lil' Kim is serving monochromatic communist minimalist realness like whoa. His ensemble is saying, "Yes, I can sport an ill-fitting suit and an undercut and annihilate all human beings at the same time, what WHAT???" Note to self: Quit hitting the plate so hard, a double chin is never on trend.
4. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad/Iran - "Crazy" - Aerosmith
Ahmadinejad works five o'clock shadow and a slim fitting suit like none other. His dashing James Bond-esque wardrobe and handsome smile can almost make you forget that he's a total psycho. Almost.
5. John Kerry/USA - "Crazy" - Patsy Cline
He's not a dictator, but the Secretary of State has clearly become the sleeper hit of this impending nuclear catastrophe. John Kerry's hair is so aggressive one has to wonder if it will, in fact, help or hurt the situation. Who will save your Seoul? No way of knowing.