1. OK OK OK one more! "Shit @OscarPRGirl Says," which lovingly mocks Oscar De La Renta's publicist's Twitter feed, and starring John Jannuzzi, Erica Domesek and PAPER contributor Andrew Mukamal.
2. According to Politico, the Internet did not care for Barack Obama's "spilled milk" joke during last night's State of the Union address. His former speechwriter Jon Lovett tweeted, "I'm going to remain udderly silent."
3. Behold: A bunkbed that is also a car. [via The Awl]
4. SNL writer John Mulaney gets into it about classic '90s film Empire Records with GQ: "It's like, these people show up to work, they work at a record store, and they find out, Oh, the boss has no money. And then they're like, Oh, let's save work! Who wants to save work? Whoever wants to save their job? When I used to temp I would show up everyday hoping that the building would be on fire. If they told me, 'Hey, we're out of money,' I would have been so happy. But I've never thought like, you know, Who am I worried about? My boss. Let's get him some more cash flow. I'm going to put a bunch of effort into saving this record store that I don't own."
5. Speaking of '90s movies, what the kids from The Brady Bunch Movie look like now.
