Images from Frank Ockenfels/AMC and WikiCommons
In this weekly column, MC/DJ Hesta Prynn pairs pop culture stories with an original playlist.
I spent the past week juice fasting, celebrating my birthday and watching The Walking Dead. The first couple of seasons of this melodramatic zombie soap opera move fairly slowly. However, season three really picks up and now I'm addicted. Alternating between glasses of ginger/beet/kale and Absolut Tune, I imagined scoring this show with the soundtrack it's really begging for: dirty '80s songs. This week's Five n Five offers the main characters of The Walking Dead instructions from some of the best dirty '80s tracks.
Andrea: "Physical," Olivia Newton-John
Andrea is one pair of legwarmers away from being an extra in the "Physical" video. You could literally lift her out of The Walking Dead and drop her into an episode of Dynasty and she wouldn't miss a beat. "Took you to an intimate restaurant, then to a suggestive movie" is the lyric that plays when she and The Governor get it on for the first time.
Daryl: "I Want Your Sex," George Michael
"Daryl you are so hot, I couldn't be more excited to be trapped in a prison with you during the War at the End of the World. Put down that crossbow and get all up in the hot-ass mess that is my haircut." - Carol
Rick: "Relax," Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Rick is your typical dramatic high schooler who overthinks everything and doesn't make a move until it's too late. I literally couldn't be more over someone; was basically rooting for Shane the whole time.
Michonne: "Naughty Girls Need Love Too," Samantha Fox*
The fact that the most badass character on this show is a female ninja plucked out of Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome speaks to its awesomeness. Couldn't be more excited for the inevitable love scene between her and Andrea. (Naughty girls need love too.)
*FUN FACT: I was forbidden to watch MTV because of Samantha Fox.
Carl: "Like a Virgin," Madonna
Obvious signs of puberty are a child actor's kisses of death. Sofia was a child during Season 1. She came back in Season 2 with boobs: we all know how that turned out. Carl has managed to enter his early teens gracefully with no sign of a between-season growth spurt. Definitely hoping he loses his virginity before the walkers take them all out.