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Where the Characters on Girls Will Be in 10 Years

Girls' second season is over and god only knows how long we'll have to wait until we can watch Lena Dunham be both the worst and the best again while sitting in a bathtub. When season three returns we'll likely pick up right where we left off, but, in the meantime, we're keeping ourselves entertained by envisioning where these completely aggravating, self-obsessed (but god dammit, ultimately lovable) knuckleheads will be in their lives a little further down the line. Say, when they're 34 instead of 24. Below, our predictions.

Screen shot 2013-03-19 at 1.18.33 PM.pngMarnie and Charlie

Where we left them: After Marnie bizarrely tells Charlie she wants to "have his brown babies" (so...she's into adoption?), he confesses his eternal love for her outside of Roberta's. Because of course they'd be outside of Roberta's.

Where they'll be in ten years: Let's face it, these two will probably get married in Montauk when they're 28 or something and serve as a marital case study for the rest of the group, who will likely remain single into their thirties. For the first four years of their marriage, Marnie and Charlie will be fairly solid: thanks to continued success with his app, Charlie will remain devastatingly attractive and confident and will give Marnie the boost she needs to pursue her singing career. This only lasts for so long, however, because as soon as they start having kids, the stress of being new parents will make Charlie regress back into his "sad sack" pushover persona we haven't seen since season one. Eventually he'll sell his app company, decide to work from home and be a stay-at-home dad. Marnie will also have given up her singing career by then (which never got beyond an EP and a show or two at Mercury Lounge opening for a 19-year-old singer/songwriter discovered on YouTube) and return to the art world as an assistant curator who wears lots of Michael Kors. More and more unhappy in their marriage -- but refusing to leave it -- they'll both look longingly at sexy singles across the aisle at the Cobble Hill Trader Joe's and wonder what life would be like if Marnie hadn't sang that acapella rendition of Kanye's "Stronger" lo those years ago. 

Screen shot 2013-03-19 at 1.17.50 PM.pngHannah and Adam

Where we left them: Despite having her most career success yet with an e-book deal, the anxiety of 'Life' prompts Hannah to aggressively relapse into her OCD. Adam, meanwhile, has been dating an incredibly normal girl named Natalia who, contrary to expectations, doesn't dump him after an excruciatingly uncomfortable sexual encounter during season two's penultimate episode. While in a particularly bad tailspin, Hannah Face Times Adam who, after sensing her distress, runs -- literally -- to her rescue while urgent acoustic guitar music plays in the background (man, we hated that scene!). The season ends with a tender shot of him in Hannah's bedroom picking her up in his arms. 

Where they'll be in ten years: After a year's worth of continuing their self-destructive, casual sex relationship, they'll gradually grow out of each other and realize there's no future in what they're doing. Hannah's career will happen in fits and starts; after getting laid off from an upstart blog, she'll get hired to edit the "It Happened to Me" column on xoJane.com. While there, she'll revamp the column's editorial strategy, getting rid of the freelance submissions and turning "It Happened to Me" into "It Happened to Hannah Horvath." (Sample: "I Fucked a Guy While I Went Through My Twitter Feed On Google Glass.") She'll eventually publish a collection of her essays, blow her advance and profits on getting her very own one-bedroom rental in Greenpoint, as well as some clothes that fit her from some of those fancy stores on Franklin, and spend most of her days online doing research for another book whose angle is to be determined. Maybe she'll open a restaurant.

Adam, meanwhile, gets sober again and has a late-twentysomething epiphany that he wants to go to architecture school. After getting accepted into a program at University of Texas, he'll leave Brooklyn for Austin and meet a single mom, eight years his senior, who is into his BDSM shit and keeps him in line at the same time. Adam will surprise himself by how well he fits into a father figure role.

Screen shot 2013-03-19 at 1.19.18 PM.pngShoshanna and Ray

Where we left them: Despite Ray's attempt to prove to Shoshanna he has ambitions by running an outpost of Cafe Grumpy in Brooklyn Heights, she breaks up with him.

Where they'll be in ten years: After the success of Cafe Grumpy in Brooklyn Heights, Ray will open several more -- two in Bushwick, now home to throngs of Wall Street types who have gotten priced out of Williamsburg, and two in Maspeth. Shoshanna, meanwhile, will be a fashion PR executive at KCD and will not have seen nor spoken to Ray in ten years. Her biggest fashion client will be repping Frank Staples, a label described as being "confounding and attractive at once," created by Jessa's pseudo-step brother (and Hannah's one time boning partner), Frank. She'll be married to a Goldman Sachs risk analyst and living in a pied-à-terre next to the Domino sugar factory.

Screen shot 2013-03-19 at 1.20.33 PM.pngJessa

Where we left her: After a depressing visit to see her father, Jessa runs off and season two ends with zero information as to her whereabouts.

Where she'll be in ten years: She'll return to the States after an extended stay in an ashram in Chennai, India, which prompts her to open her own yoga studio. After briefly considering opening the studio in Ridgewood, she decides that she's sick of New York once and for all and moves to L.A., opening her studio in Echo Park. To everyone's surprise, her studio become wildly successful and she opens several more outposts throughout the Los Angeles area. After a short-term fling with one of the yoga instructors, she becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby and raise the child as a single mom.

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