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The Bond Girl who Never Was

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Hesta Prynn A.jpeg

In this weekly column, MC/DJ Hesta Prynn pairs pop culture stories with an original playlist.

Shirley Bassey served the Oscars. Well, she certainly saved the Oscars. Couched between your run-of-the-mill sexist jokes and your average warlock chic sound editor, this 76-year-old diva proved that she could still blow. The James Bond anniversary tribute got me thinking about another diva, who was destined to sing a theme song and act in the movie but sadly died too soon. In honor of the Bond Girl who never was, this Five 'n' Five pairs the best of Bond with the songs of Aaliyah.

Honey Ryder/Ursula Andress (Dr. No) - "More Than A Woman"

The moment Ursula Andress walked out of the ocean in a white bikini the bar was set for what a Bond Girl should be: gorgeous, near naked and dripping wet. Her performance and the iconic image she created won her a Golden Globe and the cover of Playboy in 1965. When asked why she posed she replied, "Because I'm beautiful." Duh.

Pussy Galore/Honor Blackman (Goldfinger) - "Are You That Somebody"

The most famous of the group with the most ridiculous name. 37-year-old Blackman was the oldest woman to ever play opposite Bond. Galore is the head pilot of the flying circus, an all-female air force with the most amazing uniforms ever. "Boy, I been watching you like a hawk in the sky that flies and you were my prey."

Fun Fact: In the book Goldfinger Pussy Galore is actually a lesbian (again, the name).

Solitaire/Jane Seymour (Live and Let Die) - "One in a Million"

Before she took perhaps the unsexy-est role of all time, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, Seymour killed as Solitaire in Roger Moore's first Bond film. In Live and Let Die she loses her psychic powers when Bond takes her virginity. This role is paired with "One in a Million," possibly the hottest virginity-losing song of all time.

Fun Fact: Jane Seymour breaks out her Solitaire during the seduction scene in Wedding Crashers.

Giacinta "Jinx" Johnson/Halle Berry (Die Another Day) - "Rock the Boat"

Boasting the least sexual chemistry ever, Berry and Brosnan are hopelessly miscast against each other in this forgettable film. However, Halle Berry was so hot at the time of production that she is credited with much of the film's commercial success, making her one of the most powerful Bond Girls ever. Her look coming out of the water is so insanely flawless that it, alone, is deserving of this über sexy jam.

Holly Goodhead/Lois Chiles (Moonraker) - "Try Again"

In the wake of the Star Wars phenomenon, in James Bond is enlisted to stop the destruction of the human race with the help of space scientist Dr. Holly Goodhead. (Groan.) The two find and lose each other a number of times throughout the film, hence the theme song. Incidentally, Moonraker was the highest grossing Bond film until the resurgence of the brand in 1995.

Fun Fact: Chiles got the role when she coincidentally sat next to the director on an airplane.


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