Here's a slightly awkward but mostly kind of sweet ad for Nintendo 3DS featuring Penelope Cruz and her sister. The beginning is basically a Pantene commercial, but fast forward to 1:10 to see Penelope dressed up like Super Mario. [Vulture]
In case you missed this yesterday, here's Lauren Conrad making a cringe-y craft project that involves ripping apart books and gluing their spines to a box to create "a unique storage unit." (And, you know, to create the impossible illusion that you own multiple books.) Conrad has removed the video from her site, but Buzzfeed has a version with weird audio if you want to start your morning with some biblio carnage set to music that sounds like The Californians theme song. 
Bird in a bed! (And Morning Funnies two's a trend?) [AfternoonSnoozeButton]Tracy Morgan was on last night's Late Show, where he told Dave he went to high school with Mitt Romney, a big pothead. "We used to call him Mitt Escobar." [CBS]
This should not be a real product but it should maybe be a real product. [ButYoureLikeReallyPretty]
Albert Einstein in fuzzy slippers. [ThisIsNotPorn]
An actual quote Ryan Lochte gave about filming a cameo on an upcoming episode of 90210. If you want to make your brain feel like a melted bottle of Axe Body Spray, watch him give this same quote during the Access Hollywood segment below. [I'mWithKanye]
Cheese! [AfternoonSnoozeButton]
The original character descriptions for Friends. [PopCultureBrain]
Ghostsingles.com. [PleatedJeans]
Here's the recipe for homemade Doritos Locos Tacos, if you want to go there. [ThatsNerdalicious]This is a really, really strange cat-themed video from the '70s by a dance troupe called Ballet Zoom. We don't really know what else to say, so just watch this and get ready to trip the light fantastic while terrifying, lysergic kitten imagery dances before your eyes. [BoingBoing]
XOXO F U. [RatsOff]