Articles on this Page
- 12/05/12--13:45: _Twitter Highlights ...
- 12/05/12--15:00: _Brad Troemel Does a...
- 12/06/12--05:00: _By Robert James Ope...
- 12/06/12--06:30: _Morning Funnies: A ...
- 12/06/12--07:30: _The MEGA Guide to A...
- 12/06/12--08:21: _Merchandise Play De...
- 12/06/12--09:23: _Dov Charney Is Bein...
- 12/06/12--11:00: _R.I.P. Dance Right ...
- 12/06/12--13:00: _This Weekend...
- 12/06/12--14:15: _Mike Tyson Hits the...
- 12/07/12--05:00: _The MEGA Guide to A...
- 12/07/12--06:30: _Morning Funnies: Am...
- 12/07/12--08:12: _Chromatics Deconstr...
- 12/07/12--09:03: _Jude Law Is Looking...
- 12/07/12--11:30: _Internet Artist Ada...
- 12/07/12--12:30: _Promoter John Barcl...
- 12/07/12--14:00: _Gaga In Gypsy? 9 Ot...
- 12/07/12--14:25: _GIFs: Melty Cheese ...
- 12/07/12--14:35: _5 Reasons To Not Lo...
- 12/07/12--15:00: _Friday Superlatives...
- 12/05/12--13:45: Twitter Highlights From the Billy on the Street Premiere
- 12/05/12--15:00: Brad Troemel Does a Grimes Portrait In Sriracha...
- 12/06/12--05:00: By Robert James Opens in Williamsburg...
- 12/06/12--06:30: Morning Funnies: A Freaks and Geeks Reunion
- 12/06/12--07:30: The MEGA Guide to Art Basel Miami Beach 2012: Thursday
- 12/06/12--08:21: Merchandise Play Dead "In Nightmare Room"
- 12/06/12--09:23: Dov Charney Is Being Sued for Choking An Employee...
- 12/06/12--11:00: R.I.P. Dance Right Los Angeles
- 12/06/12--13:00: This Weekend...
- 12/06/12--14:15: Mike Tyson Hits the Road...
- 12/07/12--05:00: The MEGA Guide to Art Basel Miami Beach 2012: Friday
- 12/07/12--06:30: Morning Funnies: Amy Poehler Swears In Front of Infants
- 12/07/12--08:12: Chromatics Deconstruct "Cherry"
- 12/07/12--09:03: Jude Law Is Looking Mighty Handsome...
- 12/07/12--12:30: Promoter John Barclay On Trip House-Gate and His New Bar
- 12/07/12--14:00: Gaga In Gypsy? 9 Other Pop Divas Who Should Star In Musicals
- 12/07/12--14:25: GIFs: Melty Cheese + More ...
- 12/07/12--14:35: 5 Reasons To Not Look Forward to Chanukah
- 12/07/12--15:00: Friday Superlatives: The Best, Worst and Weirdest of the Week
Last night the second season premiere of Billy on the Street, comedian Billy Eichner's man-on-the-street quiz show, was held at the Beacon Theater. The night brought together the show's crew, celebrity friends and faithful fans to watch a sneak peek of the new season. One of the bigger highlights of the evening, however, happened before the show even began, when audience members could see their #billyonthestreet tweets broadcast on the theater's massive screen. What commenced was a rapid-fire tweeting frenzy where audience members could make cracks, interact with some of the celebrity audience members, or just bask in a few moments of fame. Apparently, Eichner has fans and friends who are as equally genius as he is on Twitter. Here are some of our favorites that we saw broadcast pre-show:
1. Instagram will no longer allow its photos to show up on Twitter. As a work-around, Nick Bilton suggests applying filters on Instagram, saving the new filtered photos, and re-uploading them to twitter. [Bits]
2. Digging this Grimes portrait done in Sriracha on an iPad. Read our interview with the artist, Brad Troemel, here. [JOGGING]
4. R.I.P. Dave Brubeck. We're going to listen to "Rondo à la Turk" all the way home tonight. [NY Times]
5. Some ballsy Australian radio DJs were able to speak with Kate Middleton's hospital nurse after doing "terrible" impersonations of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles. For those who don't obsess about celebrity babies, Middleton has been in the hospital suffering from acute morning sickness as a result of her newly-announced pregnancy. You can listen to the prank call HERE. [Telegraph; Image: PA Photos /Landov via NPR]
6. Taavo Somer (Freemans, Isa, Peels) is opening a new spot on the LES at 8 Rivington St. Reportedly, the restauranteur is seeking to open a "bar-boutique" that "will split threads upstairs with normal retail hours, and nighttime activities in the basement." [Bowery Boogie]
7. Mr. Burns explains the Fiscal Cliff in this new Simpsons PSA. [PopCultureBrain]
Damn gurl, you move fast! [via Afternoon Snooze Button]
For Vanity Fair's Judd Apatow guest-edited first-ever Comedy Issue, the director re-united the entire cast and crew of Freaks and Geeks. And is that Jason Schwartzman in the front row, all the way at the left? It IS! We had 100% completely forgotten that he had a bit part as a fake ID dealer. Hallelujah. [Vanity Fair via ONTD]
"You spin me right round, baby, right round like a record, baby, right round." [via Coin Farts]
Stephens Colbert and King -- cute couple alert! [via Awesome People Hanging Out Together]
We need to go antiquing more. [via 100 Years of Lolitude]
We are deeply creeped out by Mary Kate and Ashley's new bag design that's covered in pills. [via Buzzfeed]
Want a job at PAPER? [via Knusprig Titten Hitler]
Here's a deleted scene from Girls in which Hannah follows up on her job application to work at a cupcake bakery. We're glad she wound up working at Cafe Grumpy with Ray instead. [via Vulture]
A morning funnies belated birthday h/t to College Humor. That's what their site looked like thirteen years ago. We can make out some disclaimer that reads "Attention parents and people over 32..." [via College Humor]
Tampa's own Merchandise take the Miami stage tonight at the Vagabond (30 NE 14th Street, Miami) with Teengirl Fantasy. The lo-fi video (released in August) for "In Nightmare Room," off the free album Children of Desire, shows band members spitting up fake blood and playing dead in a dark basement while a drum machine beats sixteenth-notes and guitar chords reverberate. Eyelinered singer Carson Cox even pulls the old flashlight-under-chin move, proving that, like many a goth frontman before him, he has more fun putting on a show than he does putting the scare in you.
Oh boy. Calvin Klein's ex, Nick Gruber, gave a whopper of an interview to Page Six. Highlights include Nick insisting that he's straight (even though he has a boyfriend), revealing that Calvin once took him to a basement of a hotel in Chelsea in order to make him take a lie detector test, and his current boyfriend describing him as a cross between Honey Boo Boo and Kim Kardashian. We repeat, oh boy... [via Fashionista]
Here's Lena Dunham looking like Twiggy in the new issue of Entertainment Weekly.
When asked whether fashion magazines look down on bloggers, Tommy Ton replied: "Yes, absolutely [magazines look down on bloggers]. You can sense it when you're going to the shows. You feel like they belittle you in a way. Not intentionally, but you can feel like they're thinking, 'Oh, you've cheated the system. I don't feel like you earned your spot here sitting in the show.'" [via Fashionista]
People turning their no-longer-living pets into diamonds and other gems is now a thing. [via WSJ]
François-Henri Pinault suggested that Alexander Wang may be designing a couture line for Balenciaga! [via Telegraph UK]
We love the series of travel-ready objects that Louis Vuitton commissioned various artists to create! Our favorite by far is the 'hanging travel cabinet' by the Campana Brothers. [via Dezeen]
Matt Goldman has put on Dance Right in downtown LA for the last six years. Six years, in nightlife terms, is a very long time for a weekly party. The success is due in part to the DJs who refuse requests (it's the policy) and play great stuff for sweaty and enthusiastic crowds at La Cita. Some of the talented DJs who have graced the booth over the years include Just Blaze, DJ AM, Lykke Li, Gaslmap Killer, Blu Jemz, Caribou, DJ Mehdi and Them Jeans. Goldman, whom Paper profiled in 2011, is also an artist so the the flyers for Dance Right have always been really great. Now, with the party starting to wrap up for good, flyers are organized in an archive that you can browse at your leisure. There are four more Dance Rights left, including tonight's, so you can still catch the tail end of the fun before 2013 hits.
MUSIC: Simian Mobile Disco
2012's been a busy year for UK minimal electro-pop duo James Ford and Jas Shaw, what with putting out an album and an E.P. Tonight they're at Webster Hall as part of their North American tour, which wraps up 12/19 in Jamaica, aboard the S.S. Coachella. Jealous. Webster Hall, (212) 353-1600, East Village, 6 p.m.
Head to Muchmore's in North Williamsburg for a show dedicated to bringing Internet artists and their work off the screen and into a physical space. The opening tonight will feature a VJ set by Kyle Hiedacavage and a DJ set by SUPERCUTE! For more information on the exhibit, read our Q&A with the show's curator, Anna Li, and one of the artists, Al Baio.
Muchmore's, 2 Havemeyer St., Williamsburg; 8 p.m. - 10 p.m.
SHOPPING: Holiday Market at Secret Project Robot
The Bushwick art space is transforming their backyard into a "magic holiday village" -- think: European holiday market-meets-DIY flea, plopped in the middle of an industrial neighborhood. They'll have BBQs fired up offering warmth and mulled wine; bands and DJs while provide a live shopping (and hanging out) soundtrack; and you can munch on pretzels while browsing the goods on sale from local vendors.
Secret Project Robot, 389 Melrose St., Bushwick; Runs through Dec. 16, Free
ART: End of Days Group Show
Fear not, not everyone is at Basel. Head to Soho's Sacred Gallery for the opening of their giant group show featuring -- you guessed it -- sculpture, paintings, drawings and mixed media works inspired by the apocalypse. Artists come from around the country and include Cig Neutron, ego, Needles, Aunia Kahn, Hanna Jaeun, Lalo Yunda, Vincent Castiglia and more. Get in to see it before December 21!
Sacred Gallery, 424 Broadway, SoHo; Opening from 8 p.m. - 11 p.m. (Gallery hours are noon - 8 p.m.), Free
FILM: Griswold Family Christmas at Acme Studio
The folks at ACME studio are hosting a little Christmas movie festival this weekend, showing Elf, Christmas Vacation (before we were all too innocent and young to know what a dick Chevy Chase is) and Gremlins (which is seriously, seriously a scary movie! How was this ever meant for kids?), and will be serving beer, wine, and gourmet popcorn. They've also got a holiday shop on-site, complete with "prints made by the HR department" with all proceeds raised from print sales going to Hurricane Sandy relief.
ACME studio, 63 N. 3rd St., Willimasburg, Brooklyn, Tickets: $25, includes a drink. Through Saturday. Times here
Seattle trio the Pharmacy play scuzzy garage-pop that owes a lot to the early Kinks. Over ten years playing together (starting in high school), they've developed a reputable live show. Local punk trio Sleepies have been building buzz with this year's hook-filled album Weird Wild World and will open the show. Promoter Carlos Valpeoz, a.k.a. Bikes in the Kitchen, threatens this "holiday jam" may be his last show ever.
Shea Stadium, 20 Meadow Street, Brooklyn. 9 p.m. $5.
This tropical-themed dance club opens its doors tonight with house DJ sets from Kim Ann Foxman (Hercules & Love Affair) and Steve Summers (L.I.E.S./100% Silk).
Bossa Nova Civic Club, 1271 Myrtle Avenue, Bushwick; (718) 443-1271. 10 p.m. Free.
MUSIC: Autre Ne Veut / Mykki Blanco / Majical Cloudz at 285 Kent
Brooklyn-based R&B up-and-comer shares a line-up with internet rap sensation-turned-bona fide rap sensation Mykki Blanco and Canadian electro pop duo, Majical Cloudz, at the small DIY space. Gatekeeper and Oneohtrix Point Never round out the bill with a DJ set each. Bottom line? Expect a mash-up of genres and music more colorful than the outfits you'll undoubtedly see on the kids who show up for the party.
285 Kent Ave., Williamsburg; 10 p.m., $10 ahead / $12 at the door
PARTY: Blkmarket Membership Presents Cocoon Heroes: Into the Magic
The roving, 'secret' underground dance party partners with techno label Cocoon to host dance music demi-gods like Turkey's Onur Özer, Tobi Neumann and André Galluzzi. As always, the location is hush-hush but email firstname.lastname@example.org for the deets.
Location TBA; 11 p.m., $35 Advance Tickets
DANCE: The Nutcracker
It doesn't get more magical and lovely than the Nutcracker and tonight BAM kicks off the American Ballet Theatre's nine days of performances, which will be complete with a live orchestra. If you know a little kid who's into ballet, this is a must.
BAM, 30 Lafayette Ave., Ft. Greene, Brooklyn. Various times. $25.
The Stones' "50 and Counting..." tour makes a stop in Brooklyn to serenade the Barclays Center with "Start Me Up," "Tumbling Dice," and "Sympathy For the Devil." (We hear they bummed fans out by skipping "Satisfaction" at their kick-off show in London.) Gary Clark Jr. is said to be joining the band onstage for a duet and, given the fact that they brought out Mary J. Blige, Jeff Beck and ex-Stones Bill Wyman and Mick Taylor at that London gig, we're guessing there's more guest appearances where that came from.
Barclays Center, 620 Atlantic Ave., Fort Greene; 8 p.m., Available tickets are (unfortunately) around $830
Eggnog and clams will be served at UCB's annual ode to all things lovably -- and eye-rollingly -- preppy during the yuletide season (Sperry Top-Siders, F. Scott Fitzgerald, the Hampton Jitney and "your younger brother who didn't get into Princeton and ended up going to Tufts" are a few of the topics you might find the comedians riffing on). PAPER's own Alex Scordelis will host the show along with Chris Schell and Justin Purnell.
HAIRY: The 3rd Beard and Mustache Competition
The categories alone for this year's beard and mustache contest, including "women's most fantastic" and "beard over one foot" make this annual facial-hair showdown a must-attend. There will be raffles, belly dancers, pierogies and drink specials, too.
Warsaw, 261 Driggs Ave., Williamsburg, Brooklyn, 8 p.m. $15. Tickets here.
HOLIDAY: Santa Paws
If you're sick of having your Facebook feed bombarded with photos of your friends' kids sitting on Santa's lap, here's your chance to post a few better pics of your own: Ink48 and 70 Park Avenue hotels are inviting pet owners to bring their furry friends to visit Santa and put in their requests for some new catnip or that chew toy the pooch has been eyeing. Light refreshments will be provided for humans and pets alike (drinks and cookies for the former, home-made treats and water bowls for the latter). If you're pet-less, come by anyway because rescue shelter Social Tees NYC will be bringing by some of their four-legged friends who need a home for the holidays.
Ink48: 653 11th Ave., 2 p.m. - 4 p.m.; 70 Park Avenue: 70 Park Ave. between 38th and 39th St., 2 p.m. - 4 p.m. (Sunday, December 9)
PARTY: SPANK / CRZE 5 Year Anniversary Loft Party
Queer art zine and party collective Spank celebrates five years in business with a blow-out at the Scholes Loft. Expect a "sprawling dance floor, multiple rooms and [an] outdoor patio" along with performances by Scissor Sisters' Ana Matronic and Ab Soto, dj sets by Sean B, and an art and light installation by BIG ART Group and Jeffrey Owen Ralston.
341 Scholes St., East Williamsburg; 10 p.m., $15 advance tickets
HOLIDAY/BURLESQUE: Menorah Horah Hanukkah Burlesque ShowThe festival of lights and burlesque might seem like strange bedfellows but, given that there's seven other nights to spend the holiday with family and friends, why not watch some gals take off their clothes on the second night? Sherry Vine hosts the pageant-style event and the Schlep Sisters (Minnie Tonka and Darlinda Just Darlinda) will judge the performances.
Highline Ballroom, 431 16th St.; 8 p.m., $20-$35 plus $10 minimum
Tom Tom Magazine, "the only print magazine in the world about female drummers," hosts this panel with Wax Poetic Editor-in-Chief Andre Torres, Cibo Matto multi-instrumentalist Yuka Honda, East Village Radio general manager Peter Ferraro, and artist/musician Lisa Lipton. Tom Tom founder and editor Mindy Abovitz moderates.
MoMA PS1, 22-25 Jackson Avenue, Queens; 4 p.m., Free
FILM: Spoons, Booze and Tunes: Holiday Edition
Ooh, it's a yuletide edition of Nitehawk's Sunday morning retro cartoon series! Today's installment of SBT will include clips from the legendary He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special , as well as highlights from Ren and Stimpy, The Smurfs, The Flinstones, Garfield and more. There's gonna be a cereal bar, booze and photos with Santa.
Nitehawk Cinema, 136 Metropolitan Ave., Williamsburg, Brooklyn., 12 p.m., $11.
Amy Poehler tells Conan that people should lower their expectations about she and Tina Fey hosting the Golden Globes. She also discusses swearing in front of newborns and the amazing things her oldest son Archie says at school. [Jezebel]
For all of your Home Alone 2-inspired holiday fashion needs. [LaughingSquid]
Bill Murray's awesome arrival to the Late Show last night. [Gotchamediablog]
Mom, you're embarrassing me! Demi Moore, awkwardly dancing next to Lenny Kravitz at the Chanel Art Basel Miami party, now in GIF form by Bobby Finger.
This banana slicer has over 500 customer reviews on Amazon, and the Daily Dot has highlighted some of the more truly awesome ones. "Look at the woman 'eating' a banana" is our favorite line.
This Jon Hamm coloring book is a real thing that you can buy. [IncredibleThings]
L.D. form Florida, you are a monster.
Penguin falls down, best noise ever happens. [LaughterKey]
Gisele gave birth to a baby girl! The baby, named Vivian Lake, was born in her and Tom Brady's home in Boston. Congrats! [via The Cut]
Jude Law covers T Magazine, with a feature that, as Gawker pointed out, takes great pains to continue that "now that the actor isn't as good looking, they can take on more serious roles" thing. We beg to disagree: he's still incredibly hot. [via Design Scene]
Leigh Lezark appears to be a the first person to wear a look made by Stefano Pilati for Zegna's womenswear line, Agnona. We like the luxe all-black look, so that's a hint of good things to come! [via Fashionista]
Louis Vuitton is releasing a new jewelry collection inspired by padlocks called the Lockit Collection. [via High Snobette]
Ryan McGinley shot the new campaign for Mercedez Benz Fashion Week, which features Karlie Kloss, a horse and (natch) a Merc. We're sure there's a joke here somewhere... [via Fashion Copious]
Obsessed with the Givenchy men's pre-Fall 2013 collection! The house just released its look book, shot in a motorcycle shop. [via The Fashionisto]
Raf Simons wants Dior to be a bit more like Chanel, with immediately recognizable mainstays. He told Vogue UK, "The Chanel woman? I don't even need to see, I smell her from round the corner, but I don't recognize the Dior woman. I want to work on that fast. Chanel has the deux-pièces with the pockets, or the bouclé, but what is it for Dior nowadays? I can't say." [via Fashionologie]
I think it's a bit of a cheap shot. The idea came from the SlingShot planners, which are sort of more aligned with the punk and vegan scene and they're almost entirely hand-drawn. They're really cool and they totally embody that zine aesthetic and DIY spirit but the thing is, because it's handwritten, when you write in it it's hard to see the difference between your writing and theirs. So I had this thought: I love paper goods, that's totally my thing, and calendars are a really great gift for the holidays, so I wanted to do something that was half DIY and half legibly-designed object. So it really just started as a personal Christmas gift that I made for my friends last year. I made a few too many and posted them [for sale] on Tumblr and I got tons of emails about them. It never occurred to me that it would be something that people wanted.
It definitely does have that perfect balance: all the ordinary aspects of a planner, but with some really fun pages, like the pizza-rating page. What's your favorite part of the planner?
A lot of your work carries themes of social media and having an Internet presence and it can be so hilariously relatable, like your "I Love You, But I Hate Your Twitter" buttons.
I think a lot of those little things that I make like the pins and the post-cards prints is sort of a gut reaction that I have to Internet culture. That used to be something that I would just post on Tumblr, and I've been on Tumblr for literally five and a half years. It was only more recently that I thought, hey I can take this online culture and bring it offline and sort of create a tangible object. Those pins were very much that for me. They feel like something you would tweet that would exist for two minutes and then it would disappear. Taking that offline is sort of a way to make it exist in a more tangible sense. Yeah, it seems like you really value physical design and production, like taking things from the Internet and making it into a physical version to give to people and even just through the collection of your weekly scraps. Now you're coming out with your 2013 Mail Project. Tell me more about that.
I have never been more excited about anything I've been doing. Truthfully, mail is how it all started. In 2011 I did a Postcard of the Month Club and it was a monthly membership club that started out with about five members and by the end of the year had 40. The mail project is sort of culmination of everything I want to do. It's physical; it has that element of surprise. It's also very low budget, and that's important to me in addition to aesthetics. I want everything to be affordable. You pay this amount up front and I will just make you stuff all year. It really is like a subscription to my brain. I've already designed a bunch of stuff for the project, like the t-shirt and the initial materials. The Valentine's Day postcards are done. I've got post-it notes on top of post-it notes with ideas; my mind is already racing. The mail project is this way to always keep me producing stuff; that's what I'm in it for. What I need in my life to be happy is to make postcards and zines and objects. And I retire objects so quickly because I'm always on to the next thing.And you've made so many different types of things, websites to t-shirts to planners. Is there anything you haven't made yet that you're really dying to make?
I've wanted to coffee mugs for a really long time. I want to do pillow cases. I had this thing that was a one-color print of a map [to print on the pillow.] It was maybe a little too Etsy for me though. I'm always very self-aware. Sometimes there are things I want to do but I'll stop myself because it's overdone. Like, Tumblr is really obsessed with butts right now and I will never make a card that says "nice butt!" with like some squiggly drawing. It's not that I think I'm better than it, it's just that other people are doing it too. Maybe I'll eventually do a pillow though, one that screams at you to fall asleep or something. I've been getting a little edgier, a little more personal. I did an installation at a contemporary art show in September and it was called Well Hung. It was a little sexual, the humor was a little darker and more adult. I think I'm starting to head more in that direction. My goal is to sort of move on and work with some sort of agency here in New York and do bigger campaigns. I'd love to do massive shows. I would love to do a mural and build sculptural installations. I guess the short answer to your question is that I want to do everything. I think with the Internet, it's so easy to get things produced. I'll tell people, oh you made a t-shirt? Go sell it. Go print post-cards. I want to keep living with that idea in bigger and bigger ways.
Visit Adam J. Kurtz's online store here.
In an attempt to discredit what they view as gentrification competition, the fear-mongering Park Slope baby boomer cyber collective known as brownstoner.com and other post-yuppie media outlets have willfully distorted the Trip House situation. Certainly the photos in question document a time when the mansion had been abused at the hands of uninvited, merciless and more often than not, talentless graffiti writers. But even before the photos were published the space had undergone a massive renovation. Thanks to the valiant efforts of Trip House treasurer Oliver Vonderahe and a handful of dedicated volunteers, in the past week nearly all the uncommissioned graffiti has been removed or painted over, and the building refreshed to a condition more pristine than when it was received. For the public. This historic mansion is for everyone, not just Brooklyn's bourgeoisie bloggers. See you at the next party.]
Is this the first time you've done something like that?
What was the hardest part of doing that?
Have you been making a living off of promoting parties?
What's the vision for the new venue?
Where did the name come from?
Are you going to have bossa nova?
We heard a rumor yesterday that Barbra Streisand was considering Lady Gaga for a film role in her upcoming re-make of Gypsy (ostensibly to play Louise). Though it begs the question as to whether Gaga can act (and it's hard to picture her playing a character other than herself), casting a pop star in the movie version of a Broadway classic is nothing new. From Beyoncé in Dream Girls to Diana Ross in The Wiz to Madonna in Evita, Hollywood loves using a headline-grabbing singer to boost box office numbers. While we're waiting on more news to trickle out about Gaga's film debut, we've dreamed up nine other movie musicals we'd like to see starring a few of our favorite pop divas.
Katy Perry as Reno Sweeney in...Anything Goes
Given Perry's affinity for pin curls and sparkly gowns, she'd be a good fit for an Anything Goes remake. She's perfect for the brassy role of Reno Sweeney, but she'd need to bone up on her dancing skills. The dance-intensive role will require her to trade in her whipped cream can bra for a pair of tap dance shoes.
Lately Miley's been after a grungier, more "grown-up" persona (her new 'do and engagement being the most obvious examples) and nothing says "take me seriously as an actress" than playing an HIV-positive stripper. And, yeah, yeah, we know they just made a movie version of Rent a few years ago but don't pretend you haven't seen the musical five times on Broadway, saw the movie twelve times in theaters and wouldn't buy a ticket to a midnight screening to watch Miley sing "Light My Candle."
Let's be real: the painted pop star has always been two steps away from a life in the cabaret (Burlesque, anyone? "Lady Marmalade?"). And how great would it be if she debuted her rousing rendition of "Maybe This Time" before they announced the winners of The Voice? Also, a role in Cabaret would give Xtina a safe space to rock the no pants look 24/7.
In addition to her role in Harmony Korine's upcoming Springbreakers, Selena Gomez playing Maria in West Side Story could be a good opportunity for her to start taking more mature roles (the forbidden love of Maria and Tony is pretty steamy after all). Plus, she's a dead-ringer for Natalie Wood.
Ado Annie's famous song "I Can't Say No" could very well be the title track off of Taylor Swift's next album.
Britney hasn't shown off her "Oops!... I Did It Again"-era dance moves in way too long and we'd love to see her perform Fosse's classic choreography as the titular dancehall girl in Sweet Charity.
Nicki Minaj as Elphaba in...Wicked
Nicki Minaj needs to add another persona to her ever-expanding repetoire. The role of Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, wouldn't be such a stretch given her affinity for heavy make-up, snarling and the color green.
Stylistically, LDR is a perfect Ann Margret doppelgänger but tempermentally, the role might be a bit of stretch. Where the girlish and peppy Kim MacAfee is probably a ten on the excitement scale, Del Rey usually clocks in at a two. That said, the 1963 movie musical might be due for a rehaul. We say hire someone like Lee Daniels (Precious, The Paperboy) to direct, transform Bye Bye Birdie into a brooding arthouse film and slap LDR's name above the marquee. Potential teenage infidelity never got so raw.
Just look at her!
Thing That Most Made Me Feel Like It's Time to Get My AARP Card and Start Dog-Earing Low-Sodium Recipes in Family Circle Magazine:
Our Trip House photo gallery by Rebecca Smeyne. I was both horrified, confuse, delighted and felt crazy-old looking at those pics. -- Elizabeth Thompson
Best Way to Find New Reading Material: The Millions' annual feature A Year in Reading, where acclaimed authors and literary personalities name their favorite book of the year. They started rolling out the suggestions for 2012 this week. -- Max Kessler
Best Holiday Décor We Saw All Week: A businessman wearing kelly green corduroy pants with Santas printed all over them sitting across from us on the subway. -- Abby Schreiber
Best Reading All Week: Vanity Fair's Freaks and Geeks oral history, although it needed to be about ten times longer. -- Jonah Wolf
The NYC Art Show That Will Help You Forget You're Bummed About Not Being at Basel: IRL_URL exhibit at Williamsburg's Muchmore's -- AS
Biggest Surprise of the Week: The fact that we actually enjoyed the new video for John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John's Christmas song! -- ET
Best Concert All Week: Jef Lee Johnson and the Ohnos at Douglass Street Music Collective last night -- JW
The Person We Read About This Week Whom We Most Want to Meet: SunRay Kelley, a shoeless, "herbal palliative"-smoking architect who designs fantastical, unwieldy-looking houses in Washington state and was recently profiled in the Times. -- AS [Photo via the New York Times]
Best Thing to Come Out of Fifty Shades of Grey's Insane Popularity: All Random House employees received $5,000 holiday bonuses this year. -- ET