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    The-Witches-anjelica-huston-35221176-700-406.jpgAll Hallows' Eve is fast-approaching, and aside from the line between our living world and the realm of the dead thinning with each passing second, there are a lot of other things to be focusing on.

    Like, which celebrities are undoubtedly witches.

    Which celebrities commune, and conjure, and cackle at the wind, and dance on graves.

    I'm not just talking about an average Tuesday night for Sarah Jessica Parker, either.


    The time to point that bony finger is nigh.

    Practice with me now. Wherever you are (hopefully in public), just shout "I saw Goody (Sienna) Miller dancing with the devil!!!!!!"

    Sienna_Miller_3155990b.jpgFeels good, right? Good!

    Let's get our accusation hats on.

    12. Zsa Zsa Gabor

    149015-004-F7866591.jpgThe almost century-old Hungarian superstar (98-years-old) has lived through two world wars, 9 marriages, has been given her last rites like, 3 times, and is still fucking going. At this rate, she'll probably outlive us all. And I hope she does.

    9. Sheryl Crow

    sc-share-new.jpgShe's enchanted us for two decades with her "open mic night at a bar with peanuts and salt all over the floor" schtick, but you know Ms. Crow has been on a Practical Magic journey for YEARS.

    8. Kim Cattrall

    This clip.

    9. Elton John

    Elton-John-Moscow-concert-008.jpgHas definitely tried to blight Madonna's Kabbalah bread.

    8. Tina Turner

    Proud Mary made a deal with the devil to keep it at fucking 100 forever.

    And so did her legs. Witch!

    7. The Hanson Brothers.

    Without question.

    6. Whoopi Goldberg

    She vanquished the evil of Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Jenny McCarthy off The View for all of us. Queen.

    5. Jessica Chastain

    Any day could be the day Jessie doesn't use her powers for good. When that day comes, we'll all have much to fear.

    4. Blythe Danner

    Gwyneth has known FOR YEARS, and it's so hard for her to not write about it on GOOP, and whenever she asks Blythe if she can, Danner responds by sing-saying, "Tick-tock, tick-tock." while wagging her index finger.

    3. Sting

    Tantric warlock. 

    2. Ina Garten

    She first toyed with the idea of witchcraft on one terrible afternoon, on the frozen beach during a Hamptons winter, while Jeffery was away....somewhere. She never knew where.

    Since then, it's been an every day practice.

    1. Diane Keaton.

    Screen Shot 2015-10-25 at 2.53.50 PM.png

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    Last week, Pitchfork listed the song "The Line" by Toronto based singer, dvsn, as one of their tracks to listen; we took their advice, and now we can't stop.

    Not much information is known about the crooner, except that Ninteen85 (Paul Jefferies), who helped produced Drake's "Hold On, We're Going Home," and his recent, bizarre triumph "Hotline Bling," produced "The Line."

    It's an eerie piano ballad, with a slow-motion percussion, and when the two first meet -- on top of dvsn's velvety, tragic vocals--it's like Brian McNight + D'Angelo +Enya + NyQuil.

    And that's a very, very good thing.

    "The Line" is about getting to a place of intimacy in a new relationship--physically and emotionally--and how terrifying it can be; dvsn's pining high notes capture that vulnerability perfectly.

    There's also a gospel choir backup that comes in towards the end that'll melt your face.

    The song could've easily fit in on the soundtrack for Baz Luhrman's Romeo + Juliet, next to "When Doves Cry."

    rj7.jpgListen here now or above and get into it.

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    612130b9-8cd3-4e09-ba34-604099493259.jpgLana Del Rey has even more to say about death and dying.

    While speaking to Billboard, the artist formerly known as Lizzy Grant's tireless campaign to out-melancholy humanity doubled by informing us she was more precocious and reflective as a child than me and you and everyone who ever was.

    Lana cooed:

    "It's hard for me sometimes to think about going on when I know we're going to die. I remember being four years old and I'd just seen a show on TV where the person was killed. And I turned to my parents and said, 'Are we all going to die?' They said 'Yes,' and I was totally distraught! I broke down in tears and said, 'We have to move!'"

    Indeed, Death's scythe has always been knock, knock, knockin' at Lana's door, or at least in her mind.

    She went on to say that her existential dread is SO bad, that her "panic (attacks)... it got worse I saw a therapist - three times. But I'm really most comfortable sitting in that chair in the studio, writing or singing."

    I am certainly in no position to offer one advice on mental health care, but methinks you could afford more than three visits to a therapist, Lana.

    lana_del_rey_ride_video_still_2012.pngThe singer has discussed her death-obsession in the past, often to criticism.

    Last year, she spoke to The Guardian, and said she wished she "was dead already," to be revered like Kurt Cobain. Though Del Rey would deny she made the comment, the Guardian produced a transcript of the conversation.

    That little comment was famously reviled by Kurt's only daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, who was essentially like, "Dying young and suicide fucking suck, and neither is chill, Lana."

    tumblr_mgu75vbjFY1s36r7wo1_500.jpgBut, then again, maybe we just need to accept our most famous Lydia Deetz stan in all her billowy glory.


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    photo by Ben Rosser / BFA

    In a new biography about Rita Ora, it's revealed that the pop star was in a sexual relationship with a 26-year-old when she was just 14. New excerpts from what's being billed as her "definitive biography,"Hot Right Now, say she met her older boyfriend while still a drama student at London's Sylvia Young Theatre School. "It's child abuse, really, isn't it?" says Ora in quotes included in the bio from previous interviews the singer has given.

    But in subsequent interviews included in the book, Ora goes on to deny that she was really abused, saying instead that it was "a boost to her confidence" at the time. "I was almost obsessed with having a man feel like he wants me," she explained back in 2013 in an interview with Lifetime TV. "It made me feel great and I didn't care what he did or how old he was. I wanted it. It's crazy," later adding that, "I don't want to say that I suffered it, because I wanted it...I don't want people to think I was abused as a kid but I was definitely more mature than I should have been at 14."

    With the biography excerpts out and several tabloids running headlines that call Ora's experience sexual abuse and "grooming" at a young age, the singer's camp has yet to follow-up for comment.

    [h/t The Sun/Metro

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    The Greek duo behind the latest incarnation of Keep Shelly in Athens, the mysterious ambient synth-pop project currently comprised of founder and producer Notis and the group's new singer, known simply as Myrtha, might have you believe the band's name is an allusion to an actual real world narrative, or more specifically, a geo-political call to arms. The truth is, it's just a playful little pun. "We were born and raised in the area of Athens called Kypseli," says Notis. "So we played a bit with words: Keep Shelly in Athens (Kypseli in Athens)."

    Earlier this year, KSIA released their second full-length album, Now I'm Ready via the label Friends of Friends. The album is a chill-wave audio narcotic with highly addictive properties that often leaves the listener with a strange but pleasantly euphoric feeling of withdrawal. The album's guitar-wash opener, "Fractals" invites both a sense of nostalgia and that new and exciting you get when kissing someone for the first time.

    It's Myrtha's versatile and unfettered voice that serves as the catalyst for this effect, as she dispenses with Sarah P.'s (the previous singer) Nancy Sinatra-esque crooning and allows her voice to ring out without that unfortunate "out of the box" affectation that so many American female singers succumb to these days. "I loved her voice from the first minute," recalls Notis, who began his own electronic music journey after listening to the Sabres of Paradise, Autechre, and Orbital, to name a few. "When we first met, she sent me some tracks (more jazz and swing stuff), so I really wanted to see if she could fit in our tunes too. When she came to our audition, she sang an earlier song of ours "Running Out Of You." That was it!"

    The band recently teamed up with FACES (a directorial collaboration between Gareth Warland and Noelle Rodrigues) to create a dreamy music video for the album's eponymous track, "Now I'm Ready," which features the musical talents of another Grecian downtempo duo, Ocean Hope. "We wanted to give the video a '70s Ektachrome feel and took influence from the beautiful films and Polaroids of Tarkovsky and the photography of David Hamilton," says Warland, who decided early on to shoot the video in the 4:3 aspect ratio to recall the early films of Lars von Trier and all the anxiety and unsettling beauty he's become known for.

    "We have always been big fans of female vocalists and "Now I'm Ready" is a song sung by a woman about a woman, so it was a natural choice for us to develop a female protagonist," notes Rodrigues, who stuck with the von Trier approach when hiring the actors and setting the tone. "We are very interested in strong female characters, so often we find ourselves building ideas around female leads."

    The song's third-act builds with one of the album's most simple yet exquisite lyrics, "whisper to my soul." Based on the video's violent subject matter, one could speculate that something with evil intent may be the one doing the whispering, but for Myrtha, this lyric does something else for her. " I think that either saying or singing these words, I feel more hopeful and optimistic towards life," she says. Right on sister.

    Catch KSIA at NYC's (le) Poisson Rouge on November 5th. For the rest of their tour dates, go HERE.

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    New dad Chance the Rapper has made very canny collaborative choices. His biggest project has been as a part of a band, The Social Experiment, working on an album that functions as a collaborative piece of music. His second-biggest project is a series of tracks with Lil B, who you wouldn't necessarily expect to be producing quantities of good music in 2015. And now, he's got a track coming with... Stephen Colbert?

    In an interview with Hot 97, Chance discusses the project. "Stephen Colbert has bars?" Chance is asked, appropriately, though there are few further details.

    According to Chance's Twitter, the track will be debuted on The Late Show -- or should we say, The Lit Show -- tomorrow.

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    Mitch Winehouse has just announced that he is collaborating with Amy's ex-fiancé Reg Traviss on an alternative film about his late daughter's life -- supposedly one that paints a more, ahem, flattering picture of the Winehouse family. 

    However, the news doesn't really come as much of a surprise, as Winehouse has already made his displeasure with Asif Kapadia's version quite clear, calling it"misleading" while purporting that it was filled with "basic untruths".

    Speaking to Bang Showbiz over the weekend, he also said that they are hoping "to start work fairly shortly on it. But it's going to be more than just a film," especially since they hope to include all the people purportedly not featured in Kapadia's film.

    "All of the people who weren't in the film are hopping mad," Winehouse said. "They want their voices to be heard. We don't want to be like Asif, we'll let people say what they want, but we don't want it to be negative."

    [h/t i-D

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    Here are three things we recently learned about Drunk History: 1) host and co-creator Derek Waters once had a comedy troupe called Haja Fresh ("haja" rhymes with "Baja"), which he also considered naming Bon Joki; 2) the first episode of Drunk History just might have inspired the musical Hamilton; 3) while the show's narrators may veer off-topic, convulse with hiccups or attempt to kiss Waters on the lips, the basic facts of each segment are verified by a team of in-house researchers. This last discovery is the most telling. It reminds us that both the show's creators and its plastered storytellers are genuinely invested in the stories they tell. Maybe that's why the show is now enjoying its third season on Comedy Central, having originated as a one-off web video in 2007. Its premise is both boneheaded and universal: as Waters puts it, "From the dawn of time, people have liked to get drunk and reminisce about the past."

    We met with Derek Waters and his partner, director Jeremy Konner, at their offices in downtown Los Angeles last month, two days before they attended the Emmys as nominees for Outstanding Variety Sketch Series. Read on for their thoughts on the key to classic Drunk History narration, the best way to present Hitler and the distant possibility of an OJ Simpson segment. But first, click on the video above to see Konner take a long-overdue turn in front of the camera, struggling mightily to tell the story of the Los Angeles aqueduct with help from Kyle Gass and Jack Black (who once employed Konner as a personal assistant). It is meta-Drunk History at its finest.

    Tell me about the first episode you ever made.

    Derek Waters: All the online ones worked so well because I was asking [the narrators], "What is the moment of history that you love and you feel like more people need to know about?" I remember the phone call [with episode 1 narrator Mark Gagliardi]. He goes, "I just saw a documentary about Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr, and I would love to talk about that." 

    Jeremy Konner: He had watched some six-hour special on Alexander Hamilton. Remember we got there and he talked for about six hours straight just about meritocracy?

    Waters: Oh, I remember that word. And it never really got good until one shining moment. Now we know what it is from doing it so many times. It's just a little switch that's like, I'm here but I'm not here anymore. I'm just telling you what I love. I'm not trying to be funny, don't give a shit about the cameras. I'm just present, and I'm just telling you why I love it. That was 2007. I had hopes that maybe it could be a monthly sketch on a show. I sent it to The Daily Show, Conan, Saturday Night Live. And... silence. So we decided to put it on the Internet right before Christmas, thinking how people are always bored during the holidays and maybe this could be a video that they liked. We put it up December 23rd, and like a week later it was on the front page of YouTube, and it just took off. Jeremy was working with Jack Black, and Jack saw it and said he wanted to be Ben Franklin. Michael Cera [who plays Hamilton] started it, but Jack Black is the reason it continued.

    Konner: Can I mention this Hamilton thing? Mark said that he met Lin-Manuel Miranda, the guy who wrote and stars in Hamilton, and [Miranda] said: "Oh my god, you're Mark Gagliardi from Drunk History. I saw that and then wrote Hamilton!" We weren't there, and maybe he was just talking about two completely separate events: he saw Drunk History and then wrote Hamilton, and those were not connected. But that might be the biggest thing to come out of this, if it's true.

    Jeremy, you're finally taking a turn as narrator.

    Konner: I'm doing my best to burn down the post facility before anyone gets to see it. [laughs] No, it was really fun. I drank too much, couldn't tell the story, sat there while everyone got frustrated with me, going, "Jeremy, come on. You know how to do this!" And I was like, "I don't know what I'm doing wrong." And then everyone was like, "It's been eight hours; tell the fucking story!" To be on the other side, realizing that this is what everybody goes through...

    Waters: And the goal with anyone is to get you out of your head, when you know the thing so well. And you add alcohol to that, and knowledge that he shouldn't know, thinking about cutaways...

    Konner: Honestly, I've watched the footage but I don't remember it. I remember sitting down, and then this general feeling of struggle, for hours.

    What were you drinking?

    Konner: I drank almost a bottle of whiskey and then Derek and I did some tequila shots.

    Dear god.

    Konner: Somehow it ended up that we were shooting at noon at an Airbnb. I had woken up at ten, and I was already trashed by twelve.

    Waters: Didn't you go home to your wife with a Game of Thrones reunion or something?

    Konner: She had like 12 people over watching Game of Thrones when I came home. Everybody was like, "Hey Jeremy!" I just went into the bathroom and puked for hours. I could hardly move for two days. But honestly, half of it was just the depression of thinking I didn't tell the story, I embarrassed myself, it's so awful... The final cut, I think, is very good. It's just if you watch all eight hours of me, it really is brutal.

    Waters: With anybody. They always feel bad the next day and think that they didn't do a good job.

    Konner: Alcohol is a depressant. In every manner of speaking.

    Have you encountered any controversy over the versions of history that you've chosen?

    Waters: We like to just tell stories. Nothing political. Nothing that has an angle except, This is what happened. It's not forcing you think one way or another. It may have something to do with something that's happening today, but we don't want to preach. Our goal is always the best stories that inspire you, whether it's as a storyteller or like, "Oh, I can be like Claudette Colvin and stand up for myself." And I think humanizing anything makes me more interested. Learning a story about a president, it's usually like, "And they were soooo important..." And they were, but they're also no different from you and me. History books immortalize instead of humanize.

    Konner: Sometimes our narrators will have takes that we don't expect. This year, in our Space episode, we talked to Matt Gourley about rocket scientist Wernher Von Braun, who was in many ways the father of modern rocketry and space travel. And we did not realize that he had such a sordid past with the Nazi party. Matt really wouldn't let him off the hook and wanted to tell a different story than we originally thought he was going to tell. So we went with his take.

    Waters: One of our best ensemble members, JT Palmer, is playing Hitler, and JT's black, so that's pretty cool. Black Hitler.

    Konner: Name one other show with black Hitler.

    Waters: Why give the man the dignity of having people look like him? Let's not do that. 

    Konner: Weird Al was Hitler last season [in the "Joe Louis vs. Max Schmeling" segment]. 

    Waters: He looked just like him. That was creepy.

    Is there any area of history you've shied away from?

    Konner: One day we might do OJ. People have definitely pitched that.

    Waters: I just think that story is so great. I think if we did it in a way where it wasn't about the murder...

    Konner [to Waters]: Just about his time filming the Naked Gun series?

    Waters: I mean, that day was so crazy, with the Bronco. But the stories that there's theories about, you know, I stray from. It's a dark story no matter what, and it wasn't that long ago. When something's so long ago, your heart isn't as sad when you hear someone died at 40. I mean, we have pretty modern stuff now. We just did Griselda Blanco and she was killed in... 2008? 12? 2012.

    What's the most mind-blowing story each of you has encountered since you started making the show?

    Konner: Oney Judge.

    Waters: I love that story. And I also really like the Claudette Colvin story. She did exactly what Rosa Parks did a year before Rosa Parks, but because she was 15 and pregnant out of wedlock, the NAACP just didn't think she would be a good role model, and they planned the whole thing based off that. It's not like, "Forget Rosa Parks." God bless her, it made sense, but we should also remember: it was just from one girl who had a heart and said, "I'm not going to take this." It's pretty cool. She's still alive too.

    Do you think she's seen the episode?
    Konner: I think she did. I saw something on some Facebook page that gave me a clue that she's probably seen it.

    Waters: On her Wikipedia page it says, "See reference: Drunk History." That's pretty nuts.

    Waters and Konner at Drunk History HQ, September 2015

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  • 10/26/15--05:10: RIP Anita Sarko
  • anitasarkorip.JPGAnita Sarko. [Photo by Patrick McMullan/]

    The outpouring of love that exploded when I Facebooked about Anita Sarko's suicide the other day was so astounding, I bet it would have saved her life if she'd been around to witness it. The truth is, Anita had been a ground-breaking DJ and feisty writer (including for Paper back in the day), but in the last few years, she was having trouble finding creative work and felt a bit hopeless and forgotten.

    I first noticed her at the Mudd Club, a late '70s New Wave hangout, where she ruled as a rare female DJ, one with the guts to play whatever she wanted. I actually was convinced she was a transsexual, with her striking looks and sultry voice! (Eventually, I realized she wasn't. I'm much more savvy today, I swear.) By time she was the DJ/host at the '80s megaclub Palladium -- spinning in the Mike Todd Room, a mural-laden VIP area in which she was basically one of the art pieces -- I got to know her and all her intricacies and was drawn to her smarts and talent.

    She'd booked my cover band at Rock Lounge, showing a burgeoning entrepreneurial side, and, with Haoui Montaug, organized and hosted the freewheeling No Entiendes revues at Danceteria, where upstarts like Karen Finley, Madonna and the Beastie Boys performed in between the hosts ranting, bantering, and playing party games. She and Haoui also introduced karaoke to America, where it's now integral to any bar worth its salted margaritas.

    But it was in the '90s that Anita really soared. Major designers like Marc Jacobs and Vivienne Westwood knew she was the cool catch and booked her to DJ their shows in New York and Europe, which she filled with imports, offbeat mixes, and surprising oldies. Well off from family money at this point, she had two apartments in the same Village building (one just for storing records) and was on a constant spree for the newest Prada outfits and pairs of shoes in every color. And when the caustic Spy magazine dissed her as "grizzled," that sent her on a mission to get surgery after surgery and change her looks, from her nose to her new "Naomi Campbell ass." Around the same time, she'd invested with a high profile money man who later got busted as a big-time scam artist, so that hurt her bank book, along with all the spending.

    But as the money went bye bye, her personality grew bigger and stronger. Not a wilting flower, Anita spoke her mind and routinely made waves. She was the type of person who made a scene when given a fourth row seat at a fashion show. If she wasn't invited to a restaurant opening she felt she belonged at, she shot off a fury of angry emails about it. (Once, when a boîte relented and offered her a comp dinner there any time she wanted, she shot back, "Who's gonna leave the tip?") A perceived transgression could seem major in her eyes and that person was poisoned forever. Underneath her armor, she was still that little girl, wanting mommy and daddy's love and craving their validation, not just their money. But she offset that with loyalty, smarts, and kindness.

    In 2001, I was the witness at her wedding and took her and her husband Erzen Krivca to the Windows of the World afterwards. She had a younger man in her life, and was as tickled by this development as I was.
    Patrick McMullan hired her to archive photos and work on his site's blog, in addition to which she was an idea person who helped with client relations. But she kept trying side gigs that didn't always pan out. She worked on a radio show for two years, for which she got no money, and it wasn't renewed. A regular DJ gig went nowhere when the party moved, then ended.

    After many years of employment, she was almost laid off two years ago. Then this year, McMullan had to lay her off for real because the business was hurting. Anita tried a lot of options, and even went to a hardware store to ask for work, but they weren't interested. I suggested cater waiting, but she thought that was below her. (But she was willing to work in a hardware store? I know, the woman was complicated.) I also told her she should market herself as an '80s DJ and do gay weddings and bachelorette parties, but she'd already gotten the feeling no one wanted her music, so she raised her hurt flag and didn't pursue it.

    Recently, she started a blog on Wordpress to get her writing out there, and she was putting her old clubbing diaries together in hopes of making a book out of it. But she freaked when her computer crashed (she hadn't backed up the material) and was starting to feel the company repairing it was never going to return it. (The computer came back the day after she died.) It wasn't all despair -- far from it. Not long ago, we impulsively went into a Christmas ornament shop on Fifth Avenue where she shot a carefree video of me carrying on, for Facebook. She'd asked me to take her to the upcoming David Bowie stage musical, and I said "sure." But Anita was all too cognizant of the fact that she'd been a nightlife queen and now had to swallow her pride and work odd jobs. Society is not always kind to its icons, who are regularly discarded in favor of the younger, cheaper, and less textured.

    On Sunday October 18, her husband came home from a trip to Canada, saw a note she'd left and found her on the bathroom floor with a rope around her neck. She'd also hung her red wedding dress. Her note expressed appreciation to her husband, me, pal Kohle Yohannan, and her childhood friend Linda. At times a walking raw nerve, Anita was brilliant and unique and had to be tougher to make it in a man's field, but she was a marshmallow deep down, and a fierce and devoted friend. In the '80s, when it was clear to many that Steve Rubell was dying of AIDS, Anita refused to believe he was sick. She also was certain Michael Alig didn't do it, since he'd been nice to her! For someone so experienced and with it, she maintained an ingenue's sense of trust and wonder. And she was a wanderer and very brave about it. When we went on a trip to Thailand ages ago, she stayed longer than the rest of us, wanting to explore other regions of the country by herself. Ironically, Anita had beaten both uterine and ovarian cancer, but now she took her own life. No doubt she's currently got a front row seat in the sky. If not, God's got some hell to pay.

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    So apparently there's now a direct correlation between facial hair and negative traits à la getting into fights, stealing and, uh, cheating on one's partner?

    That's right, in a survey of almost 2000 Britons, Censuswide found that 47% of beardy men admitted to infidelity (compared to 20% of their clean-shaven counterparts), 45% copped to brawling (29% for those without) and 40% stole (compared to just 17% of those with no hair). Guess that look screams "rugged" in more ways than one....because, science, right?


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    Missy Elliott has just announced a new track, "WTF," featuring Pharrell, which will debut -- in part -- as part of Monday night football tonight, continuing Missy's string of good luck with football events.

    This is great news, especially coming so soon after our Missy Elliott Week. Given that this is only a snippet, and you have to watch football to hear it, we have one question: Is it worth it? (Yes -- let her work it.)

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    In a talk given at Yale's Center for Emotional Intelligence this weekend, Gaga read society for its obsession with image over our sense of self and emotional well-being.

    The Emotion Revolution Summit aimed to highlight how young people today are feeling and emphasize the value of emotional intelligence as a means for understanding empowering oneself -- and since Gaga has always been open about her struggles with depression, she used this opportunity to partner her Born This Way Foundation with Yale to provide concrete research to back the value of self-love and understanding. 

    Watch Mama Monster lay down some solid guidance below.

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    Witches, succubi, sirens, sorceresses! Wicked women have been gossiped about and feared since the beginnings of human history. These women communed with the devil, subverted institutions, destroyed marriages, and engaged in all sorts of unspeakable acts of sin and immortality. They were lustful, wanton, and voluptuous. Basically, witches were the original thots.

    We turned to art history to uncover more clues about history's witchiest, thottiest ladies, and these are the works we found:

    thotty witches 1.jpg1. Albrecht Dürer, The Four Witches, 1497: A train of thots sensually lounging at the gateway to death.

    thotty witches 2.jpg2. Francisco Goya, Witches' Flight, 1798: Three scantily-clad witches are depicted with their mouths on a man in mid-air, while bystanders recoil. Intense stuff, Goya.

    thotty witches 3.jpg3. Evelyn De Morgan, The Love Potion, 1903: When you've had a few drinks and start to feel the thot coming out.

    thotty witches 4.jpg4. Hans Baldung, Witches, 1508: Generations of thots gathered around a bubbling cauldron (what secrets lie within?), masterfully rendered with quintessential Early Modern chiaroscuro.

    thotty witches 5.jpg5. Ishtar, Mesopotamia, c. 2000 BC: The Assyrian and Babylonian goddess of fertility, war, sex, and love was known to lure her many lovers into fatal traps, and will forever be remembered as antiquity's cruelest thot.

    thotty witches 6.jpg6. Paul Delvaux, L'Appel de la Nuit, 1938: It's possible to look hott in even the most desolate of landscapes, as Delvaux demonstrates.

    thotty witches 7.jpg7. Luis Ricardo Falera, Departure of the Witches/Faust's Vision, 1878: Faust's thottie dreams of the Satanic realm were exhibited at the Paris Salon of 1880.

    thotty witches 8.jpg8. John William Waterhouse, Circe Offering The Cup To Odysseus, 1891: In addition to being a magical goddess, witch, and enchantress, Circe was thirsty af.

    thotty witches 9.jpg9. Albert Joseph Pénot, Départ pour le Sabbat, 1910: Pénot's fixation on dark thots culminated in the quintessential depiction of a witch.

    thotty witches 10.jpg10. William Blake, The Night of Enitharmon's Joy, c. 1795: Sometimes Hecate just don't wanna be a thot no more.

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    Over the weekend, Drake posted an Instagram video of himself dad-dancing (duh) to Kodak Black's smooth AF "SKRT" -- which prompted Earl Sweatshirt to tweet criticisms of the superstar rapper yesterday. 


    A video posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

    Calling him "a bit of a vulture on young rap n****s," he continued on by saying that "the line between paying homage and wave riding is a blurry one" and that Drake's co-signs always feel like they have an ulterior, "self serving" motive.

    Peep Earl's tweets and listen to Kodak's track below, so you can decide for yourself.


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    o-HEIDI-KLUM-facebook.jpgNo one loves Hallowe'en more than Heidi Klum.

    "Ja!!!! Ja!!!" She yells, throwing pennies and chocolates at trick-r-treaters' faces.

    For her annual star-studded Halloween bash (this year will be the 16th one), Klum pulls out all the "I'm a bored wealthy person" stops to outdo EVERYONE in the costume department.

    Heidi goes fucking ham.

    Just take a look at some of her best (and most terrifying) over the years:

    with her ex Seal :(((((((((

    main-qimg-09027ebe3c6c2e6cef812c54daf21db6.jpgYou get the picture.

    For this year's festival of Samhain, it looks like Ms. Klum is getting all her strudels and schnitzels in line again for a real doozy...involving a prosthetic face...

    Screen shot 2015-10-26 at 1.52.02 PM.png...and butt.

    Screen shot 2015-10-26 at 1.50.51 PM.pngThe supermodel will be wearing a gold, sequined dress designed by the amazing Christian Siriano (who won Project Runway Season 4).

    Screen shot 2015-10-26 at 1.55.59 PM.pngOn her insane preparation, Heidi says:

    "I am working with Mike Marino from Prosthetic Renaissance and his team to make this year's costume. They cast my entire body -- eyes open! -- to make the special pieces to make my costume come alive."

    Screen shot 2015-10-26 at 1.47.24 PM.pngWe imagine Heidi gleefully volunteered for the eyes open route.

    The model adds that the costume is "sort of a male's fantasy come to life," and from the romp and the facial mold, I will venture to guess that it's vaaaaaguely reminiscent of the general structure of Ms. Kim Kardashian West.

    Wonder how many "Break the Internet" Kim costumes we'll see this year.

    What we want to know is, which celebrities have done prosthetic molds of other celebrities in secret. Just to, you know, wear around the house. Reasonable!

    (And Bradley Cooper, we're looking at you.)

    Heidi's party itself is going to be something else: it's being held at NYC's Temple of Bridge, Tunnels, and Euro-Bro (LAVO), and sponsored by Svedka and GSN's horror-gameshow Hellevator.

    In fact, a replica of the same elevator used on the show will be used to carry guests into the "haunted warehouse" the party is set in.

    Imagining Heidi emerging from the darkness of the elevator with just this Jacob's Ladder portion of her mask on is enough to make me never want to leave my house again:

    Screen shot 2015-10-26 at 1.53.51 PM.pngHappy Halloween.

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    cities aviv 1.jpgphoto by Rimar Villaseñor

    Memphis rapper/post-punk musician/artist Gavin Mays, better known as Cities Aviv, likes doing more with less -- it's a defining quality of his music, which exists in the increasingly prominent intersection of the fringes of both hip-hop and punk. (Yeah, that phrase is a mouthful, but it's pretty hard to quite capture the sound otherwise, just listen to it.) The video for "Survival Fit," off this year's Your Discretion is Trust, continues with that theme -- the actual song doesn't even start until two minutes into the video, instead featuring the voice rapper Gita for the first chunk of time. Space out with the video for "Survival Fit" below.

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    Yesterday, the Sisters Kardashian (and Jenner) convened for Kim's baby #2 shower at a Beverly Hills mansion.

    The ladies arrived before the celebration, which was a Girl Scout camp theme (Troop Beverly Hills, god, yes), clad in matching striped pajamas; they gifted us with some Instagrams of this totally candid, not-posed-at-all-for-professional-photographers sister moment.

    There were also teepees, complete with champagne.

    "Sister Sunday" the photo was captioned.

    "Yes, sisters. Together we'll chant. Together we'll conjure." Kourtney said.

    They all placed their hands on Kim's pregnant belly.

    "We endow the unborn with the bounty of the earth," Khloe said.

    "Take your seat upon thy throne of bones and ash, with all of us," Kendall said.

    "Ya," Kylie added, while looking down at her phone.

    Then the windows and doors opened, and the curtains blew in, the sun blackened; Kris suddenly appeared, and levitated toward them, her toes dragging on the carpet.

    tumblr_ng4q30twmT1qbuo5po1_400.gif"CAAAAAAAAAAA!!" She yelled, her smile opening wider and wider; her eyes locked on Kim's womb.


    But a bunch of other guests came, including Kris and Caitlyn Jenner, Cara Delevingne, Gigi Hadid, and Maria Menunous, most of which followed the comfy dress code.

    Screen shot 2015-10-26 at 3.03.48 PM.pngKanye came, too, who only last week threw a surprise birthday party for his wife, and encouraged guests to wear fake baby bumps in her honor.

    Kimberly's due date isn't until Christmas Day (December 25), but nothing wrong with a little pajama-power to ease KiKi in.

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    grimes video 1.jpgGrimes looks ready to close out 2015 strong, with the release of her latest album, Art Angels. The first off the record, for "Flesh Without Blood" and "Life in the Vivid Dream" (each constitutes a separate act of the video), certainly supports that impression. Directed by the artist herself, the video features a startling number of bright characters, including one who appears to be vaguely French Revolution-era literally hanging out on a tennis court. She's also released the track list for Art Angels, including a song with Janelle Monáe (!!!). Watch the video for "Flesh Without Blood/Life in the Vivid Dream" below, and check out the track list for Art Angels over at Pitchfork.

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    photo by Benjamin Lozovsky/BFA

    Say goodbye to Bill O'Reilly, because the only political pundit that matters when it comes to the upcoming 2016 Presidential race is none other than our favorite kooky celeb, Cher. 

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.00.16 PM.png
    That's right, the most astute political commentator of our generation has turned to the people's medium -- Twitter -- to share some keen insight into the current hodge-podge of candidates on both sides. And while girl definitely leans liberal, she does have some good thoughts re: Trump et al. with plenty of enthusiasm communicated through emoji. We rounded up a few of her choicest insights into the race -- because "Believe 2016" has a nice ring to it.

    It all started earlier this year, when her tweeting was pretty much contained to general anti-GOP sentiment...

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.01.10 PM.png...however, she soon zeroed in on none other than the near universally disliked Gemini of our nightmares, Donald Trump.

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.02.01 PM.png

    And the Donald, perhaps smarting, called her a "lonely loser" a few days later, "in defense" of fellow GOP pol Mitt Romney -- a diss Cher just LOL'd at, chalking it up to Trump's own deeply-rooted insecurities.

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.02.20 PM.png
    However, in the coming months, her stance on Trump would soften, slightly... well at least relative to his fellow Republican candidates.

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.04.05 PM.png
    Most likely because he proved himself to be at the top of the, ahem, Republican food chain. 

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.04.10 PM.pngThough that's apparently not saying too much.

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.05.29 PM.png
    Even if her questionable use of punctuation makes us think that's she may be a little biased against the rest of the GOP candidates...

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.05.34 PM.png ...especially Ben Carson, whose voice Cher can't stand!!!

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.05.36 PM.png
    And as such, it'd probably be better for everyone if he just continued on his Republican primary debate platform.

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.07.16 PM.png
    While Carly Fiorina should really rethink intersectionality.

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.07.20 PM.png And Jeb Bush would really taste better smothered in gravy.

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.07.23 PM.pngThen again, Jeb will forever be great food-metaphor fodder.

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.08.01 PM.png However, her insights aren't all negative, as she is more than willing to welcome Hillary Clinton back into the fold...

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.09.42 PM.png
    ... Even saying she'd vote for her recently.

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.09.50 PM.png
    After all, she is a bit iffy when it comes to Bernie's socialism...

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.09.54 PM.png
    ...which is, like, whatever -- but we're hoping it's mostly because Elizabeth Warren aka "a bitch on Wheels" isn't running.

    Screen Shot 2015-10-26 at 6.09.58 PM.png
    But if there's one takeaway from this all, it's that we should all listen to Cher. God bless. 🇺🇸

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    Over the weekend, The Culture Whore kicked off pre-Halloween festivities with 'Chamber of Secrets,' a spooky-scary warehouse rave with more than a whiff of Harry Portter-after-dark vibes. The party raged until 6am with music spun by the likes of Michael Magnan, Bearcat, Katie Rex and David Sokolowski. Take a look at pics by Santiago Felipe, below.

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