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    Most Cringeworthy Movie Clip: A scene from Lifetime's unauthorized Full House movie was released, sooo it looks like we have our answer. -- Taylor Silver

    Screen Shot 2015-07-31 at 5.59.41 PM.png[Photo via Instagram]

    Baby News of the Week:Ice-T and Coco are expecting! Congrats you crazy kids! -- Abby Schreiber

    Coolest TV-related News: For years, Martin Scorsese and Mick Jagger have been collaborating on a series set in the 1970s about sex and drugs in the disco-punk era. HBO greenlit the series and it will be called "Vinyl."-- T.S.

    SAINT_LAURENT_UNIVERSITE_14.jpgMost Welcome Fashion News of the Week:
    After over a decade, Saint Laurent is making couture again. Take a look at an image from their couture campaign, shot by Creative Director Hedi Slimane, above. -- A.S.

    Screen Shot 2015-07-31 at 5.45.15 PM.png[Photo via]

    Most (Semi-) Surprising Fashion News of the Week: Alexander Wang is leaving his post as Creative Director of Balenciaga. There were some rumors of his departure back in June but even so, the confirmation by the house's parent company, Kering, was still startling to the fashion world. Just counting down the days to see what his final collection -- and final party -- will be like during Paris Fashion Week. -- A.S.

    I love @beyonce #nofilter #jetlife #unbreakle #netflix #janegetontwitter #tinaiknowyouwon't #peenonoir

    A video posted by Tituss Burgess (@titusssawthis) on

    Best Lip-Sync Sesh: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt star Titus Burgess posted this video of Jane Krakowski and Tina Fey lip-syncing to "Flawless." Now all we really is a "Peeno Noir"/"Halo" mash-up. -- T.S.

    Screen shot 2015-07-31 at 8.33.49 PM.pngRaddest Kids 20th Anniversary Tribute of the Week:
    Dazed and Genius''Secret History of Kids' with annotations from director Larry Clark, producers Christine Vachon and Lauren Zalaznick and archival interviews with stars like Chloe Sevigny. -- A.S. 

    Screen Shot 2015-07-30 at 12.33.48 PM.pngBest Exercise You'll Get All Weekend: On Saturday afternoon, Union Square Park will host Dildo Wars, the "world's largest dildo battle." Fun for the whole family! -- T.S.

    Most Puuurfect Art Installation: Not down with dildos? Love animals? On Saturday evening, images of endangered animals will be projected on the Empire State Building from 9 P.M. to midnight to raise awareness for our few furry friends.And be sure to pour one out for Cecil. - T.S.

    Screen Shot 2015-07-31 at 5.54.42 PM.pngFried Chicken of the Week:
    The fried chicken thighs at Loosie's in South Williamsburg. If you're in the NYC area, we highly suggest you go to there. -- A.S.

    Worst Branded Meek Mill Diss Tweet: Okay, so the first one was kind of funny, because even corporate Twitter accounts were starting to clown Meek Mill in his battle with Drake. But then came another, and another, and eventually the brands trying to get in on the fight just became sad. The Rosetta Stone one is the worst of all -- because not only is it unfunny and inaccurate, it also implies that Meek... isn't... speaking... English? -- Eric Thurm

    Most Emotionally Callous Rumor: Are you really going to play this game, Wall Street Journal? Are you really going to get our hopes about the possible existence of a National Treasure 3? (Because WHOA.) Do you even understand the greatness of the first two films in the National Treasure franchise? This is just cruel. -- E.T.

    Best Video of Hitler Reacting to Meek Mill's Diss Track: Sorry, everyone. I know there's a lot of Meek-Drake stuff going on this week, but this video is just too incredible to leave out. Look at how sad he is! I know the feeling, buddy. -- E.T.

    Life of the Party: A Polish badger was found drunk and passed out after ingesting 9 or so beers. Someone took "drunk as a skunk" to a whole new level. -- Sandra Song

    Creepy Tumblr of the Week: So there's a Tumblr called Deep Donald that posts photos of Trump made with Google's DeepDream Generator. Because he wasn't terrifying enough. -- S.S.

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    Shadows, movement, negative space -- Proenza Schouler's ethereal new fall/winter campaign is what fashion dreams are made of. It's also the brand's first time using a group of models -- in this case Liya Kebede, Anne Catherine Lacroix, Karolin Wolter and Liisa Winkler -- and the results are artfully-arranged compositions that feel simultaneously striking and subtle, much like the brand itself. The images were shot by David Sims, art directed by Peter Miles and styled by Marie Chaix. Take a look at the photos above and below.


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    Got a chili cook-off first date? A boy who loves broccoli? A lady who loves legumes? Well worry not, because there are new fart-neutralizing pants on the market so that you don't accidentally rip one when y'all just trying to get down. 

    That's right, the geniuses at British clothing company Shreddies (omg) have just released a new line of pajama pants and jeans that, yep, mask the smell of your rank-ass toots. Made from a "special, highly porous carbon cloth back panel" that absorbs and neutralizes any sulfuric stench, it's the same stuff used in chemical warfare suits and so we're pretty confident that they work.

    However, this isn't Shreddies' first foray into anti-fart wear, as their flagship item has always been the "flatulence filtering underwear" -- which actually has some merit for sufferers of Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Crohn's Disease and food intolerances. IBS aside though, we're sure they're a great substitute for always buying more Bean-o, or you know, living a cruciferous-less existence. 

    But best of all, guess what's up next? Yep, apparently work-ready chinos. 🐒💨

    [h/t Daily Mail]

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  • 08/02/15--05:01: The Sunday Funnies
  • tumblr_nsa4p0ergu1uctikuo1_400.pngMeet your new favorite Tumblr, Deep Donald, featuring nightmarish photos of Donald Drump that have been through Google's trippy DeepDream Generator. [via Friday Superlatives]


    Hit button for emo. [Mlkshk]

    159UD.jpgBilly Corgan sadly riding Thunder Mountain Railroad at Disneyland reaches its logical end. [Mlkshk]

    159US.pngReasonable. [Mlkshk]

    Why is everything so hard? [FYeahDementia]

    tumblr_ns8c2lI1YG1qz8d92o1_500.jpg"He's always been very drawn to Morris Bart commercials,"L'erin Dobra told Law Blog. "He used to watch ABC and color videos, and he used to love those. But now he wants to watch Morris Bart commercials." When they're not on TV, he watches them on YouTube. [WSJ]

     159TP.jpgLibrarian smut. [Mlkshk]

    tumblr_ns9zqh9Z8A1qaqlyro1_500.pngtumblr_ns9zqh9Z8A1qaqlyro2_1280.pngLet Shelley Bridgeman live her truth. [AfternoonSnoozeButton]

    tumblr_nrpadxEZiE1qdhrwbo1_1280.jpgYour a beautiful troll, Kristina. [FYouNoFMe]

    drunkbadger10.pngThe Guardian just came through with the greatest badger headline of all time.


    tumblr_ns7nabZUHq1twaqe1o1_1280.jpgNever stop [FYouNoFMe]

    Wait for it.....[LaughterKey]

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    photo by James St.John/Flickr

    Forget milk, because in addition to helping PTSD sufferers and chemo patients, it looks like weed could also help heal broken bones -- or at least that's what a new study from Tel Aviv University purports.

    According to The Times of Israel, researchers found that lab rats who were given cannabidiol (aka CBD, a marijuana compound that doesn't get you high) had bones that grew back faster and stronger than before. It also seems to prevent future injury, which could mean good things for those prone to skeletal diseases like osteoporosis.  

    "Other studies have also shown CBD to be a safe agent, which leads us to believe we should continue this line of study in clinical trials to assess its usefulness in improving human fracture healing," Dr. Yankel Gabet of Tel Aviv's Bone Research Laboratory said. "After being treated with CBD, the healed bone will be harder to break in the future."

    Hm, whaddya know D.A.R.E., looks like a toke a day may actually keep the doctor away.

    [h/t Vice]

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    Namely, "if God exists, why did he make ugly people?" A conundrum for the blue-steeled ages. Watch the first trailer for Zoolander 2, out next year, above.

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    Gothic Tropic2_by Cara Robbins.jpg[Photo by Cara Robbins]

    LA-based psych-pop band Gothic Tropic, are hard at work on their debut LP, FASTorFEAST, out early next year, and in the meantime, we're excited to be premiering the video for a new standalone single, "Puppet Master." Set in a dingy bar populated by characters out of a hybrid David Lynch-Tim & Eric fantasy, the clip features some passionate karaoke singing, making out and a very bad ending for one fellow. Give it a watch, below, and if you're in LA, catch the band at The Satellite on August 17th.

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    horoscopes copy.jpgTrouble with love? Work problems? Mercury retrograde? Don't worry. Rapper, author of the forthcoming novel O.K. (Sorry House), and expert astrological navigator, Kool A.D. will safely guide you through the coming month.

    Get a beer with a Cancer and a Scorpio. Watch Scarface. Sell cocaine. Book a trip to Hawaii. Paint a portrait.

    Hook up with a Sagittarius. Drink dark rum. See a 3D movie on acid. Drink a Coca Cola. Ride a horse. Steal a painting.

    First off, congrats. Also, read Aime Cesaire's Discourse on Colonialism. Go surfing with an Aquarius. Spend some QT with another Libra. Listen to Arthur Lee records while drinking wine and smoking a doobie.

    Exercise is crucial, bro. Go jog or something. Jogging is not a crime. Skateboarding is not a crime. Do an ollie. Do a nollie no- comply into the bowl and shred a bit. Do a mac nugget. I made that trick up, ask Chris Cole. Look at Nyjah Huston videos and emulate that style. Play chess and use the Ruy Lopez opening.

    Get some pupusas. Get high off cannabis tincture and listen to Black Sabbath, Motörhead and Thin Lizzy. Set something on fire at some point this month. Buy a bottle of dark rum and place it on ur front door step the night of the full moon.

    Spend some time with a Virgo. Read a Haruki Murakami novel. Listen to DJ Mustard: 10 Summers and Meek Mill: Dreamchasers 1, 2 and 3. Listen to Souljah Boy: M & M and that other Souljah Boy that just came out.

    No pork this month. This should be easy for all u Muslims and Jews out there. August is a pretty Muslim and Jewish month. Say JAH RASTAFARI next time ur about to hang up the phone. Wear an Oakland A's fitted at some point this month, literally or even just spiritually. Go surfing with a Libra. Oh yeah and congrats.

    Finish an old project. Sniff a line of cocaine and a line of heroin. That's called a speedball, it feels crazy right? Watch American Psycho while listening to Yeezus. Find a dog and take it for a walk.

    Call up a Gemini to check in. On the full moon, light a Guadalupe candle and a Siete Potencias Africanas candle, take a sip of dark Cuban rum and spit it into a potted plant then tell the plant all of ur dreams this month.

    Read the new Ta-Nehisi Coates book. Watch La Danza de Realidad. Listen to Alice Coltrane: Journey in Satchidananda. Smoke hookah. Drink Lapsang Souchong and a mimosa.

    Pick a project u already started and finish it. Call an Aries. Listen to A Love Supreme by John Coltrane. Sit in a cedar hot tub if at all possible. Have fresh-squeezed grapefruit juice with tequila and watch The Grand Illusion. Go vegan.

    Get a beer with a Scorpio and a Leo. Shoplift a piece of candy then leave it in a church, temple, mosque, synagogue, ashram or other place of worship. Buy or steal a white candle and light it on the full moon. Toss a penny into a body of water. Paint a room or piece of furniture.

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  • 08/03/15--05:30: Scenes From Full Moon Fest
  • This Saturday, over 5000 people descended on Brooklyn Mirage, a massive new venue in Bushwick for the 5th Annual Full Moon Fest, an electro dance party produced by Matte Projects. With three stages spread out over a palm tree-laden oasis in industrial Brooklyn, the fest was headlined by Yelle and also included sets by Tensnake, The Deep, Rufus du Sol, and more. Things got started at 3pm and didn't shut down until sunrise. Luckily our photographer, Luis Nieto Dickens, was on hand to capture all of the insanity. Check out his photos, below.


    Penn Badgley and his band Mothxr

    Penn Badgley



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    An art comedy show on a boat, a sex shop gallery installation, a Wes Anderson art show and so much more -- here are our picks for the must-see art shows in NYC this month.

    seven resize.jpg

    Hot Meet with Beverly's at Abrons Art Center
    466 Grand St, New York, NY 10002
    August 4, 7 - 10pm

    Join the gang from LES mainstay Beverly's (the art world's Cheers), as they host Hot Meet, an art BBQ at Abrons Art Center. Talk, drink, grill, and listen to artist-curated tunes in this summer series that invites artists to unpack their process in a laid-back, meat-friendly setting (tofu burgers on request).

    The Future is Whatever Art Film Festival at Nitehawk Cinema
    136 Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11249
    August 5, 7:30pm

    Nothing better than a cold movie theater to escape the sweat fest of August, but who wants to spend $15 to cry over Pixar blob creatures just to sit in some AC for two hours? Instead, get some culture with your 65 degree air at The Future Is Whatever, an art film festival curated by Andrea McGinty that explores the humor and irony of living in "the now." Films by Petra Cortright, Siebren Versteeg, May Waver, Fake Injury Party and more will be shown one night only at Nitehawk Cinema, where you can order beer, wine and even truffle popcorn to your seat and really enjoy the sweat-free present.

     four resize.jpgArt Is Trash featured at the LoMan Festival

    The Lower Manhattan Art Festival (LoMan) Mural art festival
    August 5 - 9

    Check out the first-ever Lower Manhattan Art fest celebrating the public work of the neighborhood with murals, a sculpture garden, a sticker party, live music, a screening of a never-before-seen cut of Bansky does New York and panel discussions and events featuring well-known street artists including Ron English, Buff Monster, Art Is Trash and more. 
     five resize.jpgEat The Feeling Magazine Launch at Louis B James
    143 Orchard St, New York, NY 10002
    August 6, 6 - 8pm

    Derek Carner's scanner-based collages epitomize summer in New York, embodying that flow between sexuality and abstraction that comes out in the heat of the city at night. Eat The Feelings, Carner's 100-page magazine that he will be presenting along with a few wall pieces at Louis B James Gallery, shows images of bodies hidden under layers of paper and paint, perfectly expressing the seasonal fight between rawness and restraint. 

     eight resize.jpgBad Dads VI: A Wes Anderson Themed Art Show at Joseph Gross Gallery
    548 W 28th St, New York, NY 10001
    August 7 - 9

    The cult following of Wes Anderson doesn't stop with Beekeeper Society tattoos and Margot Tenenbaum-style smokey eyes. In fact, Spoke Art has been putting on a pop-up art show inspired by the indie director for 6 years, featuring over 70 artists' illustrations, paintings, and sculptures of the vibrant, dark-humored and iconic world of Anderson's films. If not for the art, the people watching will be a spectacle. Who knows, you could find your Rushmore. 

    six resize.jpg

    Bindle Nation group show at Hood Gallery
    1397 Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn, New York 11237
    Aug 7, 8pm

    Head to Hood Gallery to scope Bindle Nation, a group show featuring artists' own stereotypical Hobo sacks filled with personal objects and artworks in a modern Brooklyn setting. 

    three resize.jpgMathew Barney's The CREMASTER Cycle at The Guggenheim Museum
    1071 5th Ave, New York, NY 10128
    August 8, 10:30am - 4:30 pm

    Explore the bizarre, cringeworthy, fantastical and beautifully-crafted world of artist Matthew Barney's The CREMASTER Cycle, a series of five films made over 8 years. The Guggenheim gives us a rare opportunity to see all the films in order starting at 10:30am. If you can handle it, it's worth the week of weird dreams you'll have after.
     two resize.jpgBHQFU's Maritime Comedy Night at the Lilac Arts Series
    225 West St, New York, NY 10013
    August 8, 6pm

    Why are you frowning on dry land when you could be laughing on a boat? Join the hilarious artists/comedians of Bruce High Quality University's comedy night as they board the S.S. Lilac for a sea-and-art-themed night of comedy.
    one resize.jpgRendering of Small Town Sex Shop installation

    Katherine Hubbard & Savannah Knoop: Small Town Sex Shop at Recess
    41 Grand St, New York, NY 10013
    August 22-29

    Artists Katherine Hubbard and Savannah Knoop have taken the allure of the small town sex shop and recreated it in a giant city, giving visitors an interactive art experience in the process. Try on straps, handle the objects, and explore that awkward intimacy of sex shops now that you're not too chicken to go inside. .

    fringefestartaugst.jpgNYC Fringe Festival
    Various locations
    Aug 14-30

    With over a thousand performances and 200 shows, the NYC fringe Festival is the best way to submerge yourself in the eclectic world of performance art and theater. See free plays in the parks or on a ferry ride, experience underground comedy and puppet shows or just try something weird and new. Line-up highlights include Fail Better, a Beckett-inspired physical theater piece by UMO and dungeo, a multimedia piece pairing video game lore with kabuki movement, made by Artistic Abandon NYC in Association with Hit the Lights Dad Theater Co.

    Morbid Anatomy Flea Market at The Bell House
    149 7th St., Brooklyn
    Aug 30

    Go dead or go home. The Morbid Anatomy museum is your one-stop shop for the art, artifacts, taxidermy and literature of medical oddities and culture surrounding death. Check out the museum's flea market for rare books, stuffed creatures and all the weirdos you've been looking for this summer.

    PUCCI_MAIN_IMAGE_04[2] copy.jpgRalph Pucci: The Art of the Mannequin at the Museum of Art and Design
    2 Columbus Circle
    Until August 30

    With hundreds of iconic figures and busts on display, go inside world of the Ralph Pucci, the artist who redefined the way we show fashion and whose collaborations included ones with Diane von Furstenberg, Kenny Scharf and more.

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    photo by Daniel Sannwald

    Arca's officially back, as the prolific, Venezuelan producer took to Twitter earlier today to announce the fall release of his next LP, Mutant.

    The follow-up to last year's critically-acclaimed Xen (named for his fictional alter-ego), it comes on the heels of his work with Björk's heart-wrenching Vulnicura, as well as the release of some recent solo cuts -- though if the anarchic hub-bub of "Washed Clean" and ice-cold gander of "instagram-banned Vanity" are any indication of what Mutant has to offer, well we're all too eager to see how Xen's grown.

    [h/t FACT]

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    fetty-wap.pngIf the phrase "song of the summer" ever meant anything before it was stripped of all context, it was this -- an unshakeable earworm that somehow managed to infiltrate car stereos, barbecues, and parties for the hot months, the song you associate with that summer ten, 15 years down the road. In 2015, "Trap Queen" is, undoubtedly, that song. Over a year after its original release in April 2014, it's what you hear blasting out of everyone's cars, what people put on after taking the aux cord from their Uber drivers, what will play back in people's heads when they think about their summer flings. "Trap Queen" ruled the summer.

    It's not hard to see why -- it's an upbeat, soaring, track about blending your romantic life with your work life (isn't that the dream?), sonically accessible but not cringe-worthy, capable of inspiring long works of praise. But now, with another month of summer left, "Trap Queen" has died, a victim of its own catchiness, fun, and our cultural tendency to take beautiful things and run them into the ground. We hit peak "Trap Queen" a while ago -- something that was once exciting and fun has been shriveled.

    It's not that being mainstream implicitly makes something bad -- some of the uses of "Trap Queen" are still endearing and funny, and speak to how powerful the song is. The Kansas City Royals are obsessed with "Trap Queen," to the point where they have decided to forcibly work "1738" into all of their interviews, ruining the press' ability to get good quotes out of them. This is hilarious, because the Royals love Fetty Wap and are using "Trap Queen" as part of a joke that's just for them.  

    But by the time something is acceptable on, say, The Today Show's parents vertical, it's on its last legs, drained for all its initial cultural excitement until everyone is just tired. (Imagine the hurdles it would have to get through for "Trap Queen" to actually be played on the show!) Like any cultural product, everyone just gets tired after a while. And lo and behold, this video, in which Doug Funnie from Doug sings "Trap Queen," is the last straw. Finally, after many months, the meme of "Trap Queen" and its various connotations replace "Trap Queen," the very enjoyable piece of music.

    The important thing here is not the mere presence of Doug Funnie -- he is great, and the show is great -- it's that the whole joke is Doug Funnie is ostensibly singing "Trap Queen," putting two things next to each other and assuming that will create humor. If "Trap Queen" is at the same place in pop culture as a decades-old cartoon, we have a problem.

    Something like simply putting Doug and "Trap Queen" next to each with no added value drains the resource of our collective love of the song much faster, and with less care paid to the original object of mass affection. So while it's not like we haven't participated in this (comparing Betty Draper to Fetty Wap, considering illuminati conspiracies about Kate Hudson and her son dancing to "Trap Queen"), at least we're doing our best to not deplete this precious resource.

    The best we can hope for now is that Fetty Wap will ride his massive, not-just-"Trap Queen" success on the pop charts to a long, healthy career, and we can all just leave this embarrassing few months behind us. Maybe in a few years, we'll be able to wholeheartedly, earnestly enjoy "Trap Queen" again without having to think about what we did. Just let "Trap Queen" be for a while.

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    photo by Billy Farrell/BFA

    Standard-bearing celebrity couple and the foundation of America's favorite family Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith are rumored to be officially divorcing by the end of the summer after 17 years of marriage.

    According to RadarOnline, the couple have worked out a confidential settlement with provisions for their prodigious offspring Jaden and Willow, as well as their $240 million fortune -- though it's not much of a surprise to those who have been following the tabloids, as Will stated in an interview earlier this year that his marriage had, well, "died."

    Dude, I'm so sad I can't even type out a "Gettin' Jiggy Wit It" joke. R.I.P. all notions of true love. :(


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    fkatwigs_dominicsheldon2 (1).jpg
    photo by Dominic Sheldon 

    This morning FKA twigs debuted "Figure 8" from her forthcoming Melissa EP on Beats 1 Radio.

    An icy, pulsating banger that sees her going in much more uptempo directions, it still possesses the same skin-crawling viscerality that's made her previous work pop in such extreme ways -- perhaps because the same sort of angular, industrial-tinged vibes (a trademark of LP1 co-producer Arca's work, who we're pretty sure has nothing to do with Melissa) are a marked presence. The recording also includes a brief interview with twigs about the EP's writing process which occurred in the months following LP1, as well as the vogue influences she mentions as a big part of "Figure 8's" genesis. 

    Listen below.

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    With the closing of the Alexander McQueen retrospective Savage Beauty at the Victoria and Albert Museum yesterday, fashion photographer Nick Knight has released a tribute of his own. Knight, a longtime McQueen collaborator whose relationship with the late designer spanned 14 years, dug into the archives of their work together to create a haunting short film using previously unseen footage from 2010's "To Lee, With Love, Nick." With curation by current McQueen creative director Sarah Burton and input from W's Fashion & Style Director Edward Enninful, the famous duck feather dress makes an appearance (but the armadillo boots, sadly, do not) in a film that's a surreal, mesmerizing look at the best work of a brilliant mind gone too soon. Watch it above.

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  • 08/03/15--09:31: Tiger Beat is Coming Back
  • 03Tigerbeat2-blog427.jpgTiger Beat, one of the best magazines for one of the best groups of people (teen girls), is coming back from its long summer vacation. The New York Times reports that a group of investors -- including Nick Cannon and Kevin Durant, for some reason -- have come together to buy the magazine and give it a second life. Will the new version of the magazine, which comes back in its modern form with the September issue, be able to consistently capture its audience in the same way? Certainly, there are interviews with the right people, including 5 Seconds of Summer, and the new version of the magazine captures the old aesthetic in a moment when lots of attention has been dedicated to the young women's pop culture of days gone by (see also: the Bikini Kill reissue). If that interest continues (and if the magazine's Snapchat game is on point), Tiger Beat might just live to teen another day.

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    Just Say No to Ambrosio copy.jpg

    #DearNonNatives is a new Twitter hashtag that's been floating around since last Thursday with the aim of spotlighting Native American voices that are so oft overlooked. After all, as rapper Mykki Blanco recently put it, it's no secret that the United States has a shocking and troublesome legacy of blatantly ignoring huge issues affecting Native communities who are disproportionally killed by police, and experience some of the highest rates of sexual violencepoverty, teen suicide and health problems in the nation.

    The hashtag is also meant to draw attention away from the Eurocentric perceptions of Native Americans that are often mired in hateful, archaic stereotyping à la "go back to your country" slurs (uh, you mean, here?) and buying "Pocahottie" Halloween costumes.

    So scroll through the tag and start learning from Natives themselves about their culture, history and how you can be appreciative of their heritage with respect -- not to mention why boiling down the cultures of 500+ tribes into one Pocahontas-esque portrait may be grossly inappropriate.

    Yeah, that means you, festival headdress-wearers.

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    Future, you know I loooove Dirty Sprite 2, but you're making this whole art versus the artist thing really difficult for me -- especially since you've been acting like a real brat.

    For those of you not glued to your screens, over the weekend, Future took to Twitter (of all forums) to kick up a stink about Ciara taking their son, Future Jr., to see beau Russell Wilson at Seahawks Practice.

    And while the Internet, as expected, went "Aww, look at 'em bonding, look at him being a nice dude to his girlfriend's son!," Future fumed and did what any mature adult would do -- not-so-subtly subtweet!

    Best of all, he ended his Tweet tantrum with a lil album promo, which according to the Post is pretty much the whole reason he's doing this "Boo Ciara" bullshit.

    All we can say is, just stop it, Future. After all, aren't you after all the one that cheated on Ciara (FUCKING CIARA)? Maybe it's time to take another 56-night time-out in England with your Gucci flip-flops -- and while you're at it, take your new bud, Charlemagne the God with you, seeing as how he just named Wilson his "Donkey of the Day" and basically said Ciara had zero agency in the situation and probably just wants a family..."as do most women." K.

    [h/t NY Post]

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    Today at the Television Critics' Association tour, Amazon announced that the second season of its series Transparent would become available December 4. That sounds like a long way away (and, in some respects, it is), but now it not only gives fans a day to look forward, it also lights a fire under anyone who has been meaning to get around to watching the first season. Transparent is one of the best shows around, so it really is a good investment of time. But if you haven't seen the first season yet, here are a few reasons why you should catch up:

    The Family

    Transparent is about the Pfefferman family, composed of matriarch Maura (Jeffrey Tambor), a trans woman in the process of discovering her new identity, Maura's ex-wife Shelly (Judith Light), and children Ali (Gaby Hoffmann), Josh (Jay Duplass) and Sarah (Amy Landecker). It would be reductive, in some sense, to say that the show is just about Maura's coming-out process -- it's about much more than that, including the family's neglectful history, the screwed-up lives of the children, and their attempts to recalibrate their relationship with Maura. It's a painful, often selfish series of emotional dynamics, but it's also honest and raw.

    The Past

    Where most other prestige television moves relentlessly forward -- using the past primarily as a space for ruminating on bad choices that turned good men into kinda bad men who do bad things -- Transparent presents its characters as the result of a history, and a long weight of accumulated choices. The ongoing flashback story about Maura's tentative friendship with Marcy (Bradley Whitford) blossoms into one of the best things about the show, and the eighth episode, which takes place entirely in the past, is maybe the highlight of season one.

    The Music
    Supervised by Soloway's husband, the music of Transparent has a pretty consistent sensibility -- Jim Croce, Bill Callahan, J.J. Cale -- that works to constantly evoke a distant, not-quite-real past. The show's soundtrack creates feelings of longing for a simpler time while everything else about the series reminds you that that simpler time never really existed.

    transparent caftans.jpgThe Clothes
    Throughout the show, fashion becomes a way for characters to (literally) try on different identities and figure out who they are -- watching Maura test out different feminine clothing in the flashbacks is one of the sweetest, most delightful parts of the show. And in the present, Tambor wears a fabulous selection of caftans.

    mikvah.jpgThe Tribe
    Transparent is, among the many other things it is, one of the best artistic depictions of modern secular Judaism. The Pfeffermans are nominally Jewish by affect, with Shelly caring about the opinion of the rabbi (welcome guest star Kathryn Hahn), who winds up in a relationship with Josh (that's them in a mikvah in the image above!). The sixth episode ends with a warm, spiritual shabbat dinner, a scene that, in its long, complicated, conversational battle, cuts to the heart of what makes the show so fantastic: its incessant, surprising empathy for everyone.

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    Last time we looked at the Drake-Meek Mill Twitter beef/rap beef/somewhat confusing fight over Nicki Minaj, it was relatively small in scope -- Meek accused Drake of having other people write his rhymes (which was already kind of common knowledge), said possible ghostwriter Quentin Miller had to run for the hills, and poor Nicki Minaj was caught at the center of two dudes -- a slap-fight between her current boyfriend and a man with whom she has a rather complicated personal and musical past. It's developed sufficiently now to suggest all kinds of levels of strangeness, and to require this: a full timeline of recent developments in the Great Meek Mill-Drake Battle of 2015.

    Saturday, 7/25 -- Drake Drops Meek Mill Diss Track "Charged Up"
    "Charged Up" premieres on the OVO Beats 1 radio show. It's a pretty much what you expect from a Drake diss track, in that it's relatively non-aggressive, sad, and has spawned a minor meme comparing Drake to a fully charged iPhone battery (and Meek to a phone about to die).

    Monday, 7/27 -- Meek Mill Ghosts on his Response Track
    Hot 97 DJ Funkmaster Flex, a New York hip-hop mainstay (for perhaps too long), has already announced his interest in the Meek-Drake beef, claiming to have the reference tracks ghostwriter Quentin Miller recorded. Flex loudly says that Meek is going to premiere his response on his show, which entices many people to listen to terrestrial radio for the first time in years. Instead, Flex loops Rihanna and Fetty Wap and becomes the subject of a vast array of jokes on the internet.

    Instead of taking the L, Hot 97 tries to pile on Meek, claiming he just failed to give them the track. DJ Ebro Darden complains that they just wanted to take Meek "at his word," and it is sad.

    Later Monday Night -- Meek Screams Into His Computer
    Meek claims to have dropped a response diss track called "Beautiful Night," which is just him yelling. 'Kay.

    Tuesday, 7/28 -- Nicki's Ex Safaree Issues a Cry For Attention
    Safaree Samuels, the ex Nicki has already sufficiently clowned, attempts to enter the musical fray by, among other things, claiming that he ghostwrote swathes of The Pinkprint (notice how many of these moves are just people claiming things without showing the receipts). The track, ironically titled "Lifeline,"is very bad, but you can find it here if you are feeling particularly masochistic with regards to tertiary participants in mediocre rap beefs.

    Tuesday Night -- Meek and Nicki Perform in Toronto, and it is Weird
    Nicki's Pinkprint tour stops in Toronto, the city her boyfriend Meek Mill is supposedly barred from by the most badass city councillor in the game. Meek is late for his set, but eventually shows up to what appear to be light boos.

    During his abbreviated set, Meek performs Yo Gotti's "Fuck You," flashing the title lyrics to the assembled crowd of teens and parents who wanted to see his girlfriend perform.

    Meek's choices appear increasingly confusing and opaque to a world that just wants to see him follow through on a fight he initiated in the first place. Meek and Nicki make a show of togetherness, but Drake looms over the performance.

    Wednesday, 7/29 -- Drake Drops "Back to Back"
    With Meek seemingly collapsing, Drake goes in for the kill with another diss track, a "freestyle" in which he addresses the situation far more aggressively, owning his role as a musical curator ("I got the Midas touch") and leaving us with classically divisive Aubrey phrases. (Like, seriously -- is "trigger fingers turn to Twitter fingers" genius, or horrible?)

    And here we are. There are some other minor developments piling on the participants (like this GoFundMe campaign to help Meek finally record an actual diss track), but for now, we're left with a large number of extremely confusing choices and questions. Why hasn't Meek made an actual explicit diss track? (This is especially confusing since he is, by all accounts, a pretty good battle rapper.) Why is Drake going in so hard on Meek, when all of the laws of rap beef suggest you never, ever punch down at someone less popular than you, lest you validate them and give them unnecessary attention? How pissed is Nicki at both of these man-children?

    The only plausible explanation, from where I'm sitting, is that this is all a PR campaign gone horribly wrong for a secret Drake-Meek Mill collaborative album, their own version of Watch the Throne where the throne is adorned with psychosexual post-breakup hangups and framed photos of Nicki Minaj while she rolls her eyes from the booth, where she is actually continuing to do the work being a recording artist. The cover of this album will feature Meek and Drake hugging. It will be profound.

    UPDATE: Thursday, 7/30 -- Meek Responds, Flex Thanks the Old Gods and the New
    The beef is ongooooing. Meek claims he will finally drop his diss track on Hot 97, and the rap world reluctantly turns on their radios one last time, only to hear Funkmaster Flex go on and on about how "THE STREAM IS LIT" and "THE GRAM IS LIT" and some other random yelling that reminds you why Spotify is actually kind of great. After several hours, just before the end of his show, Flex plays the Quentin Miller reference tracks, and while it doesn't definitely prove Meek's allegations (is the reference track strictly for lyrics? is it for sound?), it does function as an actual, um, piece of evidence. Then, finally, the moment everyone had been waiting for -- Meek's diss. (Spoiler alert: It does not go down well with the internet.)

    Titled "Wanna Know," it includes a rather aggressive comparison between Drake and Milli Vanilli, the use of the Quentin Miller reference tracks as samples, an admittedly pretty fantastic beat that far outclasses the actual rapping, and the apparent accusation that someone once peed on Drake in a movie theater or something? It's not a great song, but it's a solid diss track, which means the internet gets to spend ever more time wondering who is winning the Drake-Meek beef this weekend. See you at OVO Fest!

    Thursday Night/Friday, 7/30-31 -- Day of the Dead Instagrams
    It's fitting that much of the conflict has played out through open-letter, weird social media posts, since Meek started it on Twitter. But this time, an entire round went down on Instagram, as Drake first sort-of responded to "Wanna Know" before Meek basically reiterated his position again. And now, with a lull in the beef, we have to ask ourselves: What did it all mean? (Maybe these memes can help.)

    A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

    Monday, 8/3 -- Drake Gets Petty With His Shirts
    Once more unto the breach, fam. A couple of updates on the Drake front. First, at a kickball game he was apparently supposed to play with LeBron James, Drake says he "hasn't taken a loss all week" and then reveals the "Charged Up" logo on his shirt which, ha, because he's winning the beef! (And he's really good at turning stuff into clothing-based memes.)

    Drake Does His FIRST INTERVIEW Since He BODIES MEEK. . . Someone PUT A BATTERY IN HIS BACK . . . And He's STILL Shading Meek Mill!!

    Posted by DeLorean on Sunday, August 2, 2015

    Then he wears a "Free Meek Mill" shirt backstage at OVO Fest, continuing his tradition of sick burns through torso clothing.

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