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Gossip's New Album Cover to Spawn Celebs With Freakishly-Large Hands Meme?

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Check out the insane and amazing cover art for Gossip's forthcoming Mark Ronson-produced album A Joyful Noise. We wonder if this will start a Celebrities with Freakishly-Large Hands meme....?

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Before They Were Mad Men: From Christina Hendricks on Undressed to Jon Hamm in Space Cowboys

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beforeMadMen1.jpgFor the past few weeks, we've waded through YouTube sludge in our quest to find video gold: footage of the Mad Men cast before they donned their bouffants and skinny ties and entered the doors of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. We managed to track down everything from Christina Hendricks playing a high schooler on MTV's melodrama, Undressed, to Vincent Kartheiser (a.k.a. Pete Campbell) playing a bratty 90s kid in Indian in the Cupboard to Jon Hamm flashing his now-signature smirk in Space Cowboys.  Check out our highlights below:


Christina Hendricks a.k.a Joan Holloway
 


MTV's Undressed, 1999

On MTV's late 90s/early 00s "late night soap opera" that focused on all things sex -- the surprisingly still-there-from-1999-website bio reads "Undressed examined every type of sexual relationship imaginable, including those involving different races, sexual orientations and fetishes" -- Hendricks plays a girl who arrives in California for some college visits and gets it on with a guy named Ricky she met at a Greyhound bus station.

Vincent Kartheiser a.k.a. Pete Campbell


The Indian in the Cupboard, 1995

Go to 9:24 to see Kartheiser as main character Omri's older brother, replete with long hair and center part. "I found him in here, Beavis!"

John Slattery a.k.a. Roger Sterling



Sex and the City, 2000

Who can forget Slattery's SATC story arc playing the politician with a golden shower fetish?  Before she discovered his kinky side though, watch Carrie reluctantly fall under Slattery's charm after they meet during a Staten Island firefighters' benefit.

January Jones a.k.a. Betty Draper



Anger Management, 2003

In memorable scene from the Jack Nicholson-Adam Sandler flick, Jones and Krista Allen play porn star lovers who wind up in anger management sessions after a threesome goes awry. The couple then proceed to make out, much to delight of Luis Guzman, who's looking particularly fierce in a belly top and cornrows. Betty Draper, this is not.
  
Elisabeth Moss a.k.a. Peggy Olson



Excedrin Commercial, 2005
"If you have migraines, you know pain. These things are for real," Moss says in an oddly sultry voice while shilling for Excedrin. Her contract must've had some extra-special clause because, seven years later, we swear we still see these commercials.


Jon Hamm a.k.a. Don Draper



Grimes at Mercury Lounge

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Grimes, aka 24-year-old Vancouver native Claire Boucher, is an electro-pop sensation taking the music crowd by storm. While in town for an art opening at Audio Visual Arts gallery (featuring "visual works by Claire Boucher + friends") she plays two shows, the first at Mercury Lounge tonight, and at Glasslands tomorrow.

Gilbert Gottfried at the 92Y Tribeca

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Are you torn between being a good Jew, and a person of questionable morals? Then head to the 92Y Tribeca, where you can have a nice Shabbat dinner, while the always super-offensive and hilarious Gilbert Gottfried talks to Rabbi-in-Residence Dan Ain about his new tome, Rubber Balls and Liquor.

Flying Lotus

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Almost two years ago, L.A. producer Flying Lotus released Cosmogramma -- not just one of the best albums of 2010, but one that featured some of the most ambitious, sophisticated and fearlessly personal music in recent memory. It was cosmic like Sun Ra, incendiary like the free-jazz musicians of the '70s and bristling with electronic beats, beeps and bass. And though he didn't exactly start the instrumental post-Dilla, hip-hop-but-not-quite "beat music" that's become a signature Los Angeles sound, he was there at the beginning, playing one of the first Unreleased Beat Invitationals at the now-legendary club night Low End Theory, and launching his label Brainfeeder as a home for forward-thinking friends both local and international. A lot has happened since the musician, whose given name is Steven Ellison, worked his last day at his last job at storied L.A. label Stones Throw in the winter of 2005. Ellison laughs: "I knew when I was leaving, music was gonna be it -- or I'd die hustlin'!"

Among a certain group of musicians, Ellison is a visionary -- which is probably why Thom Yorke and Erykah Badu are just a phone call away for him -- and right now, he's got Cosmogramma's unnamed follow-up incubating on the computer in front of him. He'll be premiering parts of it at Coachella in April, once he manages to sift out what he's going to keep from the current 41 finished tracks. "I just wanna tell the right story," he says.

Ellison's label Brainfeeder -- for which he selects and produces albums, though he releases actual Flying Lotus records on Warp -- is built on a strange mix of idiosyncratic L.A. locals, like bass space-man Thundercat, bizarre-fi beatmaker Matthewdavid and beauty machine Teebs, as well as hand-picked standouts from all over the world, like propulsive Dutch electronic veteran Martyn and lush U.K. producer Lapalux. What they all have in common, Ellison says, is that they're seekers -- musicians using music to find out something about themselves: "It's such an awesome thing to be a witness to. I want to help."

Creatures of Comfort Sample Sale

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One of our favorite meticulously-curated new-ish boutiques, Creatures of Comfort, is having one heckuva sample sale: menswear, womenswear, accessories and shoes by the likes of Margaret Howell, Rachel Comey, Wood Wood, Hope, Acne, APC, Norse Projects, Partik Ervell and Common Projects are up to a whopping 95 percent off.

Northern Spy Founder Christophe Hille Is Pro Egg Yolk, Anti-Gum Stuck Under His Tables

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Christophe Hille, 39, is the founder of the East Village's Northern Spy Food Co., where there's often a line out the door for good reason. The focus on local, seasonal fare is a natural outgrowth of Hille's commitment to food politics, which he tweets about almost as often as what's on the menu.

I saw your tweet today about finding gum stuck to the bottom of your tables. I can't believe people still do that.
Just this morning I had to fix a table and tighten the bolt on the stem, so I flipped it over and discovered three or four pieces of gum stuck to it. I glanced around and there was gum under every single table. For some people, it's just how they roll.

You give out paper napkins, right? It's not just because everything in your restaurant is cloth.
Yes, we give out paper napkins where they could put their gum. I don't understand it, unless we did something wrong to them and this is fair retribution. It's amusing. It's not the end of the world. I don't want to express too much disappointment in my customers.

I also saw a tweet about that cookbook ghostwriting scandal and how Gwyneth Paltrow had fired back on GOOP. You wrote "Really, Gwyneth, no one cares. Trust us." 
I thought later I should have quoted Shakespeare: 'The lady doth protest too much, methinks.' I'm not opposed to her writing a cookbook but I am opposed to her being so defensive about having a ghostwriter.

You got a new chef, Hadley Schmitt, last year. Have you changed?
Me personally? I've changed a lot for the better. As for the dinner menu, we've changed about two-thirds of it. The template has stayed the same: roasted chicken, pork, lamb, seafood.

Your restaurant has done more to popularize kale than any I can think of (the kale salad with roasted kabocha squash, toasted almonds and raw milk cheddar is a must-have). How many pounds do you go through a week?
Ten cases, which works out to about 120 bunches of kale. Somehow we inadvertently became kale's best friend. At the Greenmarket we'll load it up in our cargo bike along with 60 pounds of whole striped bass.

That's a lot of cash you're putting out, since the farmers generally don't take credit cards. Do you have to go to the bank all the time to get cash since most of your customers pay with credit cards?
Yes. And I find credit card fees especially galling. We pay 2.6% or 2.7% in aggregate to credit card companies each year. That worked out to $46,000 last year, someone's yearly salary. We also used to pay the credit card fees for our servers' tips but that changed in 2011 when the New York State Hospitality Wage Order went into effect. Look it up. It's really exciting reading.  Before 2011 we had been paying $150 a week to the credit card companies to subsidize our waiters' tips. It adds up.

Did your servers complain when they had to start paying out 2.5% of their tips to credit card companies?
Not a peep. They do fine.

I try to leave tips in cash because of that.
I've become more conscientious of using cash myself when I go out, especially at smaller retailers. Otherwise we're just sending money to people who don't need it.

Storefront Left.jpgYou're known for hosting events like the annual Big Beef Dinner. Have you rethought beef since Frank Bruni's confession he's developed gout, partly from eating too much red meat?
No, but I could never eat or drink on the level Frank Bruni used to. Gout is a misunderstood disease, partly because you have to have a genetic predisposition for it, like kidney stones. If you happen to combine high uric acid levels with being the New York Times food critic, you've got a problem. I'm not a doctor but it's not necessarily a worry for everyone.

Another of your tweets championed egg yolks, in reference to people who only want egg whites.
I love egg yolks. Egg whites are good for other uses -- meringue, stiffening mohawks, making drinks frothy. We'll make an egg white omelet if somebody requests it but I think they're silly. Egg whites are flavorless, have no personality. I don't find them to be appealing conceptually.

In another tweet you cited an article on the historic merits of cooking and how we evolved as a species because of it, as opposed to relying on raw food.
I don't have a beef with raw foodists but I'm a student of food history, studying for a Masters of Science at NYU. People contort history to suit their agenda, as if there was some original Edenic time when humans only ate raw things. It's all mythology. You wouldn't be able to have your raw food website if not for the early discovery of cooking food, which caused our brains to enlarge. Fire and cooking is intrinsic to human culture. Thinking that we should go back to eating raw food, as nature intended, is a distortion of historical record. You've got to get your facts straight.

Anything else on your mind?
That I'm probably going to regret this.

You haven't said anything that bad. I think you'll come off as wry.
Rye is really good. Hadley uses a lot of rye grains in our dishes.

Do you like rye whiskey?
I'm not a whiskey drinker. I'm really into good sherry these days. I go to Tinto Fino / on First Avenue and found some sherries that are just outstanding, with unreal aromas. The Wellington Palo Cortado is gorgeous, freaking awesome. The Barbadillo Obispo Gascon with steak is a match made in heaven. I would never drink anything else but sherry with a steak.

Are you working on a cookbook?
No, but it might be fun to do. Or maybe a book of tweets.

Northern Spy Food Co.
511 E. 12th St., (212) 228-5100
northernspyfoodco.com

Above: Christophe Hill. Photo by Annekke Schoneveld.

Meet New York's Real Mad Men and Mad Women

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Though we've been rabidly waiting for the scotch-soaked fever dream that is the fifth season premiere of Mad Men, PAPERMAG has decided to quit fantasizing about how Don Draper will look in his mid-'60s suits and turn our thoughts instead to the Mad Men and Mad Women of today's advertising and branding industries. Of course the ad world has undergone many changes since the days of indoor chain-smoking and copy machines the size of Cadillac -- the advent of digital media, for one -- but these rising stars share the same focus, creativity and drive as any of their high-powered TV counterparts. We sent each of these industry players a questionnaire asking them to weigh in on their favorite drink, power lunch spot, thoughts on Mad Men and opinion on what has been the most significant change to the ad world since the days of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce (or, more aptly, George Lois). Here's what they had to say...


Screen shot 2012-03-23 at 2.36.01 PM.pngMichal Pasternak, 32, Partner, User Experience, at HUGE

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
I work a lot more on products and experiences than campaigns. Some of my past favorites have been JetBlue, IKEA, and History.com. 

Favorite drink?
It's a tie between strawberry margarita (on the rocks, with salt) and G&T with a twist.

Favorite power lunch spot?
My power lunch consists of getting out of the office and hitting La Bagel Delight down the street. I love chatting it up with the guys in there and they make a mean egg and cheese on sesame. 

Do you watch Mad Men?
Yes but I'm not as obsessed as some of my friends. I'm a little more 30 Rock and Judge Judy.

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be? 
Definitely Peggy. She's the only woman who defies the odds and creates her own opportunities. When I was a kid, I used to dream of becoming an "inventress" (as opposed to being a plain old inventor).  

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now?
Digital. Back in the day, the advertising industry was about the "big idea" and finding clever ways to communicate it in print. Now the field is much more sophisticated thanks to digital.  We have more targeted and relevant advertising based on what we search for, our purchasing habits, and even what our friends like. Marketers are now realizing that perhaps the best way to advertise is to find ways to deliver value to their customers for just engaging with their brand. Or, better still, to invest in making their product and service consider their customer's needs above all else. Because people will talk. And word of mouth is a much bigger deal when we can communicate 24/7, to people across the world, almost instantly.


Screen shot 2012-03-23 at 11.22.37 AM.pngJoe Stewart, 34, Partner & Global Creative Director, HUGE

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
I've been lucky enough to work on major digital projects for Target, Pepsi, Pizza Hut, Under Armour, The Museum of Modern Art, and The City of New York.

Favorite drink?
A Stella and a Macallan

Favorite power lunch spot?
The bar.

Do you watch Mad Men?
Yes -- it's a great show.

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be? 
Draper! Anyone who doesn't say Draper is lying. He's cool, ladies love him, he has good ideas, and has a very healthy work/life balance. He's filled to the brim with confidence, takes massive risks, and looks good in a suit. I'm amazed he gets as much work done as he does being completely drunk all the time, but -- I guess it works for him.

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now?
People have the ability to talk back to ads now, which is pretty scary and new, and we're all in it together trying to figure out the best way to use this new kind conversation. For a long time advertising was a push medium -- your TV spot is pushed onto as many people as possible, where now it's a pull medium -- consumers have to actively seek brands out and ask for the information. It changes everything. Being forced to listen to what people actually have to say and what they really think is taking a lot of people for a loop, but it seems like it's what's best for everyone so thank god for that.

StaceyLee.jpgStacey Lee, 29, Creative, Mother

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
Adidas, Tanqueray, Red Bull Music Academy, eMusic
 
Favorite Drink?
White Pike Whiskey at work, vodka everywhere else.
 
Favorite Power Lunch Spot?
Market Diner
 
Do you watch Mad Men?
Absolutely.
 
If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be?
I'm a Roger Sterling/Joan Holloway hybrid, affectionately known as their lovechild in Season 5. My style is a little Roger because I share his 'all or nothing' attitude, preference for vodka and have a tendency towards brutally honest one-liners. While I lack Joan's mesmerizing assets, I've got her sharp tongue and take a sadistic pleasure in bullying men around the office.
 
What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now?
Creative directors are less mysterious nowadays. And disappointingly, the sordid sexual encounters and post-lunch naps are somewhat hampered by the rise of the open plan office.



Drake Miller_400x400pxls.jpgDrake Miller, 26, Motion Designer, Mother

Notable campaigns you've worked on? 
I created a stop motion commercial for the Chicago Auto Show with a roll of paper, cardboard, and a CG car. To me, it was notable because we made the whole thing for a couple hundred dollars...it represents the impact scrappy creativity can have.

Favorite drink? 
Anything with Budweiser in it.

Favorite power lunch spot? 
Taco Bell. Burger King being a close second.

Do you watch Mad Men? 
Nope.

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be? 
I don't watch Mad Men, but if there's a guy on the show who loves snacking and riding bikes, that would be me.

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now? 
You wore a suit and you could smoke inside...I suppose the difference is that back then, the goal was to make ads and build brands that were massive and that everyone saw, knew, and loved. Today, you can have a small group of loyal customers/fans/followers and build a business.


krystal plomatos.jpgKrystal Plomatos, 26, Strategist, Mother

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
Sour Patch Kids & Method Man's 'World Gone Sour' rap video. Bengay 'Bodies in Movement' and Xbox Kinect Sports 2 partnership.

Favorite drink?
Tullamore, neat.

Favorite power lunch spot?
Lali's Dominican restaurant, tucked away on 10th & 45th. Because the coffee is as strong & sweet as the ladies who run it.

Do you watch Mad Men?
Yep.

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be? 
Peggy. I like that she's evolved further and faster while everyone around her has lost their shit. She's resilient.

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now? 
Since I wasn't around then, I can only offer a half-baked interpretation of the industry during the '60s, which is based on (or biased by) shows like Mad Men and ads I've seen in archives. I associate the '60s with evocative, long-copy ads, and that was the standard by which people knew and judged brands -- by what they said. I think the industry is better now because its shifted to where both marketers and the general population are highly attuned to a brand's behavior. So the first thing I do is check out a brand's 'about us' tab or mission statement, and if I'm jealous of it or inspired by it, then it gets my full attention. And I'm not alone in using this as a means of assessing a brand or ad.



Darren Herman headshotsmall-1.jpgDarren Herman, 30, Chief Digital Media Officer & President, Kirshenbaum Bond Senecal + Partners

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
The Daily, Vanguard, Giorgio Armani, AT&T, Intel

Favorite drink?
Shirley Temple with three cherries

Favorite power lunch spot?
Trump Soho Café

Do you watch Mad Men?
Who doesn't?

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be?   
Harry Crane, head of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce's television department.  I chose Harry because he created the media department out of thin air based on the foresight of the huge opportunity in promise of television advertising.  Like me, he's entrepreneurial, driven, and quiet. 

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now? 
The biggest difference between the industries from then to now is that they had much better taste in suits -- skinny ties, white shirts, and grey suits.
 


Andre Headshot.jpgAndre Woolery, 30, Digital Synthesis Director, Kirshenbaum Bond Senecal + Partners

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
Justin Bieber's Someday fragrance, Armani Exchange, Armani Jeans launch

Favorite drink? 
Balvenie Scotch...neat

Favorite power lunch spot?
David Burke Kitchen especially when there is outdoor seating. Bacon-wrapped dates is a must.

Do you watch Mad Men?
Of course. I cancelled my cable last summer but I'll get a season pass through iTunes this season.

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be?   
It's hard for me not to say Don Draper. The tale of Don Draper is slowly being revealed in layers and you realize that he has continually transformed himself to be successful which is the part that I admire. Being able to control his life and freedom to shift in any direction he wants (minus all the shadiness) makes him an interesting character.

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now? 
The biggest shift in my opinion is who/what is considered the hero. The consumers are now the heroes. They are what makes a brand live or die. They are the ones that will promote a great ad and evangelize on their behalf. They will tell their friends on Facebook that the brand's product is amazing. Consumer are now on centerstage while we all sit and watch their actions. If we were to make a 2012 Mad Men scene, the consumer would be on their Facebook newsfeed and receive a shared link from a friend regarding content from a regarded brand.


susienam.pngSusie Nam, 37, Head of Account Management, Droga5

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
PUMA Social and Hardchorus, Tap Project

Favorite drink?
Dirty martini straight up, extra olives

Favorite power lunch spot?
Peels

Do you watch Mad Men?
Yes

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be? 
Roger Sterling but with a backbone.

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now?
There were real facilities to manage hangovers at work -- more booze, bathrooms, fresh shirts in your drawer.


Ryan_Kutscher-1.jpgRyan Kutscher, 33, Creative Director, currently working at JWT New York

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
Volkswagen Unpimp, Burger King Whopper Freakout, Skittles, Blue Skittles

Favorite drink?
Free beer

Favorite power lunch spot?
Dorsia

Do you watch Mad Men?
Yes.

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be? 
Draper. Because he realized being Dick Whitman was a bad idea, so he just started being someone significantly more awesome. And he keeps extra shirts in his desk.

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now?
I'm not qualified to answer this. And you know that. It's like [asking], 'Hey, what's the main difference between that thing you know a little bit about and that thing you know absolutely nothing about at all?' It's a set up. It's irresponsible journalism. Because someone that was actually there will read this and say, 'That guy is an asshole, he doesn't know what he's talking about.' And they'll be right. And it will be all your fault. Shame on you.


Matt MacDonald.jpgMatt MacDonald, 36, Executive Creative Director, JWT New York

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
The Smirnoff Nightlife Exchange, The Magic of Macy's, JetBlue.

Favorite drink?
A martini. Preferably one made with my client's vodka.

Favorite power lunch spot?
My lunch is usually some kind of salad in a plastic bowl. But every once in a while, I'll go to the Oyster Bar or Bobby Van's and remind myself I work in advertising.

Do you watch Mad Men?
Yes, but never on Sunday nights. It feels too much like actually being at work.

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be?  
I'd like to think I'd be Don Draper. But given my tortured Midwestern upbringing, I'm probably more Dick Whitman.

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now?
From what I can tell watching Mad Men, every meeting in the '60s was five minutes long and ended with a decision being made. Now meetings take all day and nothing happens.
But seriously, I think the work is better now than it ever has been. People in advertising now have the freedom to invent whatever they want. I'm not so sure that was always the case.


Christian Waitzinger.jpgChristian Waitzinger, 37, Executive Creative Director, SapientNitro New York

Notable campaigns you've worked on?

Campaigns are so yesterday. In today's world you have to be always "on" and constantly interact with your consumers. My background has been primarily in Experience Design work. Clients include Sony, Disney, WWE, Nissan, Singapore Airlines, SingTel, New York Life, Marriott, Avis, and many more.

Favorite drink?
Jameson

Favorite power lunch spot?
Street meat, of course!

Do you watch Mad Men?
Yes

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be? 
Not sure if I'd want to be Roger Sterling -- but he's a favorite. The guy just cracks me up. Ignorance is bliss, as they say. One would think I like Don Draper -- he's a smart and genius creative, at times, with a great presence in the room - -but he's too much of a tortured soul. I wouldn't want to be him.

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now?
Answer 1: I don't want to think about this. It just makes me jealous.
Answer 2: Digital, baby!

RELATED:
George Lois Chats With Ricky Powell About His Damn Good Advice and Why
Mad Men Is a 'Piss Ass Show'

Before They Were Mad Men: From Christina Hendricks in Undressed to Jon Hamm in Space Cowboys



Before They Were Mad Men

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beforeMadMen1.jpgFor the past few weeks, we've waded through YouTube sludge in our quest to find video gold: footage of the Mad Men cast before they donned their bouffants and skinny ties and entered the doors of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. We managed to track down everything from Christina Hendricks playing a high schooler on MTV's melodrama, Undressed, to Vincent Kartheiser (a.k.a. Pete Campbell) playing a bratty 90s kid in Indian in the Cupboard to Jon Hamm flashing his now-signature smirk in Space Cowboys.  Check out our highlights below:


Christina Hendricks a.k.a Joan Holloway
 


MTV's Undressed, 1999

On MTV's late 90s/early 00s "late night soap opera" that focused on all things sex -- the surprisingly still-there-from-1999-website bio reads "Undressed examined every type of sexual relationship imaginable, including those involving different races, sexual orientations and fetishes" -- Hendricks plays a girl who arrives in California for some college visits and gets it on with a guy named Ricky she met at a Greyhound bus station.

Vincent Kartheiser a.k.a. Pete Campbell


The Indian in the Cupboard, 1995

Go to 9:24 to see Kartheiser as main character Omri's older brother, replete with long hair and center part. "I found him in here, Beavis!"

John Slattery a.k.a. Roger Sterling



Sex and the City, 2000

Who can forget Slattery's SATC story arc playing the politician with a golden shower fetish?  Before she discovered his kinky side though, watch Carrie reluctantly fall under Slattery's charm after they meet during a Staten Island firefighters' benefit.

January Jones a.k.a. Betty Draper



Anger Management, 2003

In memorable scene from the Jack Nicholson-Adam Sandler flick, Jones and Krista Allen play porn star lovers who wind up in anger management sessions after a threesome goes awry. The couple then proceed to make out, much to delight of Luis Guzman, who's looking particularly fierce in a belly top and cornrows. Betty Draper, this is not.
  
Elisabeth Moss a.k.a. Peggy Olson



Excedrin Commercial, 2005
"If you have migraines, you know pain. These things are for real," Moss says in an oddly sultry voice while shilling for Excedrin. Her contract must've had some extra-special clause because, seven years later, we swear we still see these commercials.


Jon Hamm a.k.a. Don Draper



Meet New York's Real Mad Men and Mad Women

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0
Though we've been rabidly waiting for the scotch-soaked fever dream that is the fifth season premiere of Mad Men, PAPERMAG has decided to quit fantasizing about how Don Draper will look in his mid-'60s suits and turn our thoughts instead to the Mad Men and Mad Women of today's advertising industry. Of course the ad world has undergone many changes since the days of indoor chain-smoking and copy machines the size of Cadillac -- the advent of digital media, for one -- but these rising stars share the same focus, creativity and drive as any of their high-powered TV counterparts. We sent each of these industry players a questionnaire asking them to weigh in on their favorite drink, power lunch spot, thoughts on Mad Men and opinion on what has been the most significant change to the ad world since the days of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce (or, more aptly, George Lois). Here's what they had to say...


Screen shot 2012-03-23 at 2.36.01 PM.pngMichal Pasternak, 32, Partner, User Experience, at HUGE

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
I work a lot more on products and experiences than campaigns. Some of my past favorites have been JetBlue, IKEA, and History.com. 

Favorite drink?
It's a tie between strawberry margarita (on the rocks, with salt) and G&T with a twist.

Favorite power lunch spot?
My power lunch consists of getting out of the office and hitting La Bagel Delight down the street. I love chatting it up with the guys in there and they make a mean egg and cheese on sesame. 

Do you watch Mad Men?
Yes but I'm not as obsessed as some of my friends. I'm a little more 30 Rock and Judge Judy.

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be? 
Definitely Peggy. She's the only woman who defies the odds and creates her own opportunities. When I was a kid, I used to dream of becoming an "inventress" (as opposed to being a plain old inventor).  

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now?
Digital. Back in the day, the advertising industry was about the "big idea" and finding clever ways to communicate it in print. Now the field is much more sophisticated thanks to digital.  We have more targeted and relevant advertising based on what we search for, our purchasing habits, and even what our friends like. Marketers are now realizing that perhaps the best way to advertise is to find ways to deliver value to their customers for just engaging with their brand. Or, better still, to invest in making their product and service consider their customer's needs above all else. Because people will talk. And word of mouth is a much bigger deal when we can communicate 24/7, to people across the world, almost instantly.


Screen shot 2012-03-23 at 11.22.37 AM.pngJoe Stewart, 34, Partner & Global Creative Director, HUGE

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
I've been lucky enough to work on major digital projects for Target, Pepsi, Pizza Hut, Under Armour, The Museum of Modern Art, and The City of New York.

Favorite drink?
A Stella and a Macallan

Favorite power lunch spot?
The bar.

Do you watch Mad Men?
Yes -- it's a great show.

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be? 
Draper! Anyone who doesn't say Draper is lying. He's cool, ladies love him, he has good ideas, and has a very healthy work/life balance. He's filled to the brim with confidence, takes massive risks, and looks good in a suit. I'm amazed he gets as much work done as he does being completely drunk all the time, but -- I guess it works for him.

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now?
People have the ability to talk back to ads now, which is pretty scary and new, and we're all in it together trying to figure out the best way to use this new kind conversation. For a long time advertising was a push medium -- your TV spot is pushed onto as many people as possible, where now it's a pull medium -- consumers have to actively seek brands out and ask for the information. It changes everything. Being forced to listen to what people actually have to say and what they really think is taking a lot of people for a loop, but it seems like it's what's best for everyone so thank god for that.

StaceyLee.jpgStacey Lee, 29, Creative, Mother

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
Adidas, Tanqueray, Red Bull Music Academy, eMusic
 
Favorite Drink?
White Pike Whiskey at work, vodka everywhere else.
 
Favorite Power Lunch Spot?
Market Diner
 
Do you watch Mad Men?
Absolutely.
 
If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be?
I'm a Roger Sterling/Joan Holloway hybrid, affectionately known as their lovechild in Season 5. My style is a little Roger because I share his 'all or nothing' attitude, preference for vodka and have a tendency towards brutally honest one-liners. While I lack Joan's mesmerizing assets, I've got her sharp tongue and take a sadistic pleasure in bullying men around the office.
 
What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now?
Creative directors are less mysterious nowadays. And disappointingly, the sordid sexual encounters and post-lunch naps are somewhat hampered by the rise of the open plan office.



Drake Miller_400x400pxls.jpgDrake Miller, 26, Motion Designer, Mother

Notable campaigns you've worked on? 
I created a stop motion commercial for the Chicago Auto Show with a roll of paper, cardboard, and a CG car. To me, it was notable because we made the whole thing for a couple hundred dollars...it represents the impact scrappy creativity can have.

Favorite drink? 
Anything with Budweiser in it.

Favorite power lunch spot? 
Taco Bell. Burger King being a close second.

Do you watch Mad Men? 
Nope.

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be? 
I don't watch Mad Men, but if there's a guy on the show who loves snacking and riding bikes, that would be me.

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now? 
You wore a suit and you could smoke inside...I suppose the difference is that back then, the goal was to make ads and build brands that were massive and that everyone saw, knew, and loved. Today, you can have a small group of loyal customers/fans/followers and build a business.


krystal plomatos.jpgKrystal Plomatos, 26, Strategist, Mother

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
Sour Patch Kids & Method Man's 'World Gone Sour' rap video. Bengay 'Bodies in Movement' and Xbox Kinect Sports 2 partnership.

Favorite drink?
Tullamore, neat.

Favorite power lunch spot?
Lali's Dominican restaurant, tucked away on 10th & 45th. Because the coffee is as strong & sweet as the ladies who run it.

Do you watch Mad Men?
Yep.

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be? 
Peggy. I like that she's evolved further and faster while everyone around her has lost their shit. She's resilient.

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now? 
Since I wasn't around then, I can only offer a half-baked interpretation of the industry during the '60s, which is based on (or biased by) shows like Mad Men and ads I've seen in archives. I associate the '60s with evocative, long-copy ads, and that was the standard by which people knew and judged brands -- by what they said. I think the industry is better now because its shifted to where both marketers and the general population are highly attuned to a brand's behavior. So the first thing I do is check out a brand's 'about us' tab or mission statement, and if I'm jealous of it or inspired by it, then it gets my full attention. And I'm not alone in using this as a means of assessing a brand or ad.



Darren Herman headshotsmall-1.jpgDarren Herman, 30, Chief Digital Media Officer & President, Kirshenbaum Bond Senecal + Partners

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
The Daily, Vanguard, Giorgio Armani, AT&T, Intel

Favorite drink?
Shirley Temple with three cherries

Favorite power lunch spot?
Trump Soho Café

Do you watch Mad Men?
Who doesn't?

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be?   
Harry Crane, head of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce's television department.  I chose Harry because he created the media department out of thin air based on the foresight of the huge opportunity in promise of television advertising.  Like me, he's entrepreneurial, driven, and quiet. 

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now? 
The biggest difference between the industries from then to now is that they had much better taste in suits -- skinny ties, white shirts, and grey suits.
 


Andre Headshot.jpgAndre Woolery, 30, Digital Synthesis Director, Kirshenbaum Bond Senecal + Partners

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
Justin Bieber's Someday fragrance, Armani Exchange, Armani Jeans launch

Favorite drink? 
Balvenie Scotch...neat

Favorite power lunch spot?
David Burke Kitchen especially when there is outdoor seating. Bacon-wrapped dates is a must.

Do you watch Mad Men?
Of course. I cancelled my cable last summer but I'll get a season pass through iTunes this season.

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be?   
It's hard for me not to say Don Draper. The tale of Don Draper is slowly being revealed in layers and you realize that he has continually transformed himself to be successful which is the part that I admire. Being able to control his life and freedom to shift in any direction he wants (minus all the shadiness) makes him an interesting character.

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now? 
The biggest shift in my opinion is who/what is considered the hero. The consumers are now the heroes. They are what makes a brand live or die. They are the ones that will promote a great ad and evangelize on their behalf. They will tell their friends on Facebook that the brand's product is amazing. Consumer are now on centerstage while we all sit and watch their actions. If we were to make a 2012 Mad Men scene, the consumer would be on their Facebook newsfeed and receive a shared link from a friend regarding content from a regarded brand.


susienam.pngSusie Nam, 37, Head of Account Management, Droga5

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
PUMA Social and Hardchorus, Tap Project

Favorite drink?
Dirty martini straight up, extra olives

Favorite power lunch spot?
Peels

Do you watch Mad Men?
Yes

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be? 
Roger Sterling but with a backbone.

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now?
There were real facilities to manage hangovers at work -- more booze, bathrooms, fresh shirts in your drawer.


Ryan_Kutscher-1.jpgRyan Kutscher, 33, Creative Director, JWT New York

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
Volkswagen Unpimp, Burger King Whopper Freakout, Skittles, Blue Skittles

Favorite drink?
Free beer

Favorite power lunch spot?
Dorsia

Do you watch Mad Men?
Yes.

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be? 
Draper. Because he realized being Dick Whitman was a bad idea, so he just started being someone significantly more awesome. And he keeps extra shirts in his desk.

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now?
I'm not qualified to answer this. And you know that. It's like [asking], 'Hey, what's the main difference between that thing you know a little bit about and that thing you know absolutely nothing about at all?' It's a set up. It's irresponsible journalism. Because someone that was actually there will read this and say, 'That guy is an asshole, he doesn't know what he's talking about.' And they'll be right. And it will be all your fault. Shame on you.


Matt MacDonald.jpgMatt MacDonald, 36, Executive Director, JWT New York

Notable campaigns you've worked on?
The Smirnoff Nightlife Exchange, The Magic of Macy's, JetBlue.

Favorite drink?
A martini. Preferably one made with my client's vodka.

Favorite power lunch spot?
My lunch is usually some kind of salad in a plastic bowl. But every once in a while, I'll go to the Oyster Bar or Bobby Van's and remind myself I work in advertising.

Do you watch Mad Men?
Yes, but never on Sunday nights. It feels too much like actually being at work.

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be?  
I'd like to think I'd be Don Draper. But given my tortured Midwestern upbringing, I'm probably more Dick Whitman.

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now?
From what I can tell watching Mad Men, every meeting in the '60s was five minutes long and ended with a decision being made. Now meetings take all day and nothing happens.
But seriously, I think the work is better now than it ever has been. People in advertising now have the freedom to invent whatever they want. I'm not so sure that was always the case.


Christian Waitzinger.jpgChristian Waitzinger, 37, Executive Creative Director, SapientNitro New York

Notable campaigns you've worked on?

Campaigns are so yesterday. In today's world you have to be always "on" and constantly interact with your consumers. My background has been primarily in Experience Design work. Clients include Sony, Disney, WWE, Nissan, Singapore Airlines, SingTel, New York Life, Marriott, Avis, and many more.

Favorite drink?
Jameson

Favorite power lunch spot?
Street meat, of course!

Do you watch Mad Men?
Yes

If you were one of the characters on Mad Men, which one would you be? 
Not sure if I'd want to be Roger Sterling -- but he's a favorite. The guy just cracks me up. Ignorance is bliss, as they say. One would think I like Don Draper -- he's a smart and genius creative, at times, with a great presence in the room - -but he's too much of a tortured soul. I wouldn't want to be him.

What do you think is the most significant difference between the industry then (1960s) compared to now?
Answer 1: I don't want to think about this. It just makes me jealous.
Answer 2: Digital, baby!

RELATED:
George Lois Chats With Ricky Powell About His Damn Good Advice and Why
Mad Men Is a 'Piss Ass Show'

Before They Were Mad Men: From Christina Hendricks in Undressed to Jon Hamm in Space Cowboys


New Williamsburg Bar/Dance Spot the Flat Opens

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THEFLAT23-NEW-2-WEB.jpg

If we know you as well as we think we know you, you've probably spent some quality time in the murky depths of Lit Lounge and Home Sweet Home making hazy memories and dancing your ass off. We certainly have and fondly recall a Halloween incident involving a human rubix cube and a transvestite Joe the Plumber. Lucky for you (and us), a new bar from some of the folks behind those aforementioned downtown dance dives is making its debut this evening in Brooklyn with an open bar and a stellar line up of DJs. The Flat is the dance-friendly love child of Johnny Siera of The Death Set, Lit co-owner Max Brennan and Home Sweet Home's Kristin Vincent. A mix of parlor-room paraphernalia and Victorian accoutrements (see photos below), the Flat opens tonight with XXXChange, Spencer Product, Prince Terrance, Ghostdad and more. Expect Williamsburg's finest, an open flow of cocktails, and some familiar faces from your dancing days in the East Village.

The Flat, 308 Hooper St. Williamburg, Brooklyn, 9 PM. Dress to kill. 


TheFlat3.JPGTheFlat2.jpg

Le Petit Prince Doll + The World's Tiniest Puppy Is Named Beyoncé = Eight Items Or Less

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1.  Gothamist wrote an open letter to the person whose cell phone went off in the closing (and heart-wrenching) final scene in Death of a Salesman. [Gothamist]


2. This is (probably) the world's tiniest puppy and its name is Beyoncé! [Buzzfeed/ABC]


Screen shot 2012-03-23 at 6.06.27 PM.png3. Straight from Paisley Park and into your child's toy chest, it's a Prince doll! [Citypages]

4.  The Beatrice Inn will be back!  Well, sort of.  Vanity Fair Editor-In-Chief and restauranteur, Graydon Carter, plans to reopen the storied venue that shuttered in 2009 but says "it's going to be a different kind of place than what it was last...There will be no Paul Sevigny." [WSJ]


Screen shot 2012-03-23 at 6.17.24 PM.png5. Woah there. Tori Spelling is already preggo with her fourth child five months(!) after giving birth to daughter Hattie.  Tori Spelling!  More like Tori Duggar!  Heh. [US Weekly] 

6. After being the most baller eighteen-year-old in a long time by asking porn stars to prom on Twitter, it looks like Mike Stone will not get to take a sex industry starlet to the big dance after all, per his high school's response. [Huffington Post]

Screen shot 2012-03-23 at 6.37.09 PM.png7. After tweeting a stupid comment about how Trayvon Martin's choice to wear a hooded sweatshirt contributed to his tragic death, Rivera's own son took to the feed lambasting his pops -- way to stick it to the old man! [Gawker]

Screen shot 2012-03-23 at 6.39.44 PM.png8. Happy Birthday, Chaka Khan!  The legendary singer turns 59. [Huffington Post]




James Franco Channels Kevin Federline + Jon Hamm Latest to Appear in Seven Minutes In Heaven = Eight Items Or Less

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1. Good god, Lindsay Lohan and Whoopi Goldberg are to have guest spots in Glee.  (Lohan is in "final negotiations" while Goldberg is confirmed.) [Vulture]


Screen shot 2012-03-27 at 5.05.02 PM.png2. It's never too warm outside for a squid hat! [Laughing Squid]

Screen shot 2012-03-27 at 4.17.38 PM.png3. James Franco channels his inner Kevin Federline in a photo from Selena Gomez's Instagram taken on the set of their new movie, Spring Breakers, directed by Harmony Korine. [Vulture

4. Joseph Altuzarra reportedly will be coming out with a collection for J. Crew in the next few weeks. [Fashionista]

Screen shot 2012-03-27 at 5.37.04 PM.png5. 20 supporting characters from 90s-era TV then and now. [Buzzfeed]



6. Watch Jon Hamm in Beautiful Person Mike O'Brien's latest segment of Seven Minutes of Heaven.  We loved it but kept thinking that Jon needs a three-day's weekend worth of shut-eye. [Flavorwire]

7.  Ick.  The Flaming Lips are reportedly using blood from their collaborators in the actual packaging of their record, The Flaming Lips and Heady Fwends.  Word is Wayne Coyne has vials of blood from Ke$ha, Neon Indian and Prefuse 73 in his fridge. [Oh No They Didn't!]


Screen shot 2012-03-27 at 6.21.27 PM.png8.  Apparently Alicia Silverstone "bird feeds" her baby (a.k.a. effing chews up food and SPITS it in his mouth!).  [DListed]

Tips for Today: First Aid Kit + Eric Kandel + "The Queen and I"

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first-aid-kit-band.jpg

First Aid Kit at Webster Hall 

Stockholm-based sister-sister folk duo First Aid Kit kick off their US tour, playing their immaculate Americana-esque alt-country ditties tonight at Webster Hall. 

Webster Hall, 125 E. 11th St. 8 p.m. $25.15.

Eric Kandel at the NYPL

Noted Nobel Prize-winning neuropsychiatrist Eric Kandel will be discussing the movement in turn-of-the-Century Vienna, wherein artists, scientists and philosophers (from Freud to Klimt) collectively began exploring The Unconscious. He'll be chatting with Paul Hodengraber, on the eve of his new tome, The Quest to Understand the Unconscious in Art, Mind, and Brain, From Vienna 1900 to the Present. 

The New York Public Library, Fifth Ave. and 42nd St. 7-9 p.m. $25.

"The Queen and I" Opens at Pocket Utopia

Austin Thomas's vibrant Bushwick gallery, Pocket Utopia, closed about a year ago, but has sprung up anew on the Lower East Side, in collaboration with C.G. Boerner Gallery. Tonight's one-night only exhibit, "The Queen and I," acts as the gallery's "soft opening"; featuring royal photographs by playwright Donald Steele. The space officially opens in late April with "Portraits of Artists: 18th Century French Engravings."

Pocket Utopia, 191 Henry St. 6-8 p.m.



The Morning Funnies: Young Ben Stiller + One Direction's No-Sex Rule

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Start your day off right: With a video compilation of dogs on swings. [via BuzzFeed]

ben-stiller-0.jpg
Ben Stiller in 1978. (Can any Broadway Babies decipher what play or musical that Playbill is from?) [via The Berry]


megan-fox-hairstyles-2012-15.jpgOMGMeganFoxispregnant. [via Radar]

Obeying-the-Letter-of-the-Law1fdg.jpg
Super-literally obeying street signs. [via Dangerous Minds]


lindsay-lohan-glee__oPt.jpgOh geez. Lindsay Lohan may be Glee's newest guest star. [via Perez Hilton]

5-100-mta-metrocard.jpegA Metrocard, dunked in white paint courtesy of artist Andrew Miller. [via AnimalNY]

PJ-BG154_FIXCUR_NS_20120326185925.jpg
A 5-step guide to lowering the volume of your sneezes. [via WSJ]

onedirection_promo.jpg
Apparently, the boys of One Direction are not allowed to have sex while on tour in the United States. [via Oh No They Didn't]


Lady Gaga Before She Was Famous: A Photo History

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Hey, it's Lady Gaga's, 26th Birthday! Happy birthday, Gaga! Before LG had legions of little monsters following her every move, Gaga (a.k.a. Stefani Germanotta) was your typical teenager, growing up on New York's Upper West Side and attending the Convent of the Sacred Heart private school. Take a walk down Gaga memorylane to see pics of the superstar with blonde highlights, spray tans and Abercrombie & Fitch hoodies (and clips of her pre-fame MTV appearances on Boiling Points and The Hills!).

Screen shot 2012-03-28 at 10.27.54 AM.pngLady Gaga, date unknown (probably between 1991-1993, 5-7 years old)

Screen shot 2012-03-28 at 10.34.53 AM.pngLady Gaga, date unknown (probably between 1991-1993, 5-7 years old)

gaga_first_communion.pngLady Gaga's First Communion, date unknown (probably between 1993-1994, 7 or 8 years old)


gaga1998.pngLady Gaga c. 1998

Screen shot 2012-03-28 at 11.36.28 AM.pngLady Gaga c. 1998

Screen shot 2012-03-28 at 11.36.03 AM.pngLady Gaga, date unknown


gaga_2004_8.pngLady Gaga, date unknown

gaga_father_2004.pngLady Gaga and father c. 2004 (17 or 18 years old)

gaga_2004_9.pngLady Gaga c. 2004 (17 or 18 years old)

gaga2004_1.pngLady Gaga c. 2004 (17 or 18 years old)

gaga2004_6.pngLady Gaga c. 2004 (17 or 18 years old)

gaga_2004_7.pngLady Gaga c. 2004 (17 or 18 years old)

gaga2004_2.pngLady Gaga c. 2004 (17 or 18 years old)

gaga2004_5.pngLady Gaga c. 2004 (17 or 18 years old)

gaga_2004_10.pngLady Gaga's Senior Yearbook Photo in 2004 (18 years old)


Screen shot 2012-03-28 at 10.27.34 AM.pngLady Gaga, date unknown

Screen shot 2012-03-28 at 10.42.25 AM.pngLady Gaga, date unknown

Screen shot 2012-03-28 at 10.41.27 AM.pngLady Gaga, date unknown

Screen shot 2012-03-28 at 11.36.59 AM.pngLady Gaga, date unknown (probably around 2005-2006)

Screen shot 2012-03-28 at 10.35.56 AM.pngLady Gaga, date unknown (probably around 2005-2006)



Lady Gaga on MTV's Boiling Points c. 2005


Screen shot 2012-03-28 at 10.40.59 AM.pngLady Gaga, date unknown (mid-2000s)

Screen shot 2012-03-28 at 10.41.06 AM.pngLady Gaga, date unknown (mid-2000s)

Screen shot 2012-03-28 at 10.40.26 AM.pngLady Gaga, date unknown (mid-2000s)

Screen shot 2012-03-28 at 10.36.36 AM.pngLady Gaga, date unknown (mid-2000s)

Screen shot 2012-03-28 at 10.40.49 AM.pngLady Gaga, date unknown (mid-to-late 2000s)

Screen shot 2012-03-28 at 10.39.32 AM.pngLady Gaga, date unknown (mid-to-late 2000s)



Lady Gaga on MTV's The Hills c. 2008

Dog Days

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ds1.jpg View image full-size Coats, Shorts, earrings and shoes by Dolce & Gabbanna.
 ds8.jpg View image full-size Dress by Stella McCartney and hat by Kangol.
 ds2.jpg View image full-size Dress by Salvatore Ferragamo.
 ds3.jpg View image full-size Jacket by Acne.
 ds4.jpg View image full-size Dress and belt by Lanvin and arm harness by Bliss Lau.
 ds5.jpg View image full-size Shirt and pants by Jean Paul Gaultier, leather harness by Bliss Lau and chain harness by Mixon By Anna Mixon.

ds6.jpg View image full-size Dress By Peter Pilotto and hat by Laura Kranitz.
 ds7.jpg View image full-size Vest by Thakoon, skirt by Rebecca Taylor and hat by Laura Kranitz.
 ds9.jpg View image full-size Coat, belt, shows and earrings by Prada.

ds10.jpg View image full-size Dress by Sacai and necklace by Mixon By Anna Mixon.
 ds12.jpg View image full-size. Shirt and skirt by Maison Martin Margiela and headband by Laura Kranitz.
 ds11.jpg View image full-size Vest by Y-3 and shoes by Ruthie Davis.

Shot at Boxeight Studios.
Hair by Yuji for The Rex Agency using Sebastian Professional.
Models Briana Skye, Avalon Brown, Caitlin Kuvalanka, Alexia Quinn, Melissa Triber and Jennifer Lower.
Dogs Emmylou, Lola, Bunny, Ernie, JArvis, Sadie, Mitzi, Ignacio, Willie, Freddie, Drake and Levi.

Please rescue before you shop. humanesociety.org.

Regrets: An AndrewAndrew Insta-Review

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Have you ever heard of a "Divorce Ranch?" Neither had we until we saw the premiere of British playwright Matt Charman's Regrets, now playing at The Manhattan Theatre Club at NY City Center. We thought that a "Divorce Ranch" sounded like a fun place to visit; a bunch of carefree swingers hanging out, hooking up, having key parties galore without any negative ramifications. However, it turns out to be almost the polar opposite. Find out exactly what happens on these ranches and whether or not we regret our visit.

Debbie Downer's Happy Ending

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The first half of Rachel Dratch's new memoir, Girl Walks into a Bar..., reads like a comedy-nerd's version of the Book of Job. After starring on SNL from 1999 to 2006, where she created memorable characters like Debbie Downer and Denise (of the brash Bostonian duo Sully and Denise), she was cast on 30 Rock as Jenna, but then dropped from the sitcom after the pilot tested poorly. After that set-back, she was typecast in a string of comedies that were beneath her acting abilities. "These are pretty much the only parts I'm offered since I've been off SNL. Lesbians. Secretaries. Sometimes secretaries who are lesbians," she writes in the opening chapter. She hilariously chronicles a succession of horrible dates (she has dinner with a guy who says he'd like to eat human flesh) and wince-inducing film experiences, but then on page 158 (spoiler alert!), at the age of 43, Dratch learns she's pregnant.

"I started writing before the whole pregnancy thing happened," she says. "I didn't see that plot twist coming." Dratch navigates the wild world of pregnancy, and tries to figure out how John, her child's father who she'd been dating for six months, would figure into her life. "Writing about what happened with me and John, and the whole child-bearing section, that was the most difficult part," she says. Dratch's honesty in her writing pays off; her book's second half reads like a cross between Bossypants and What to Expect When You're Expecting. As a postscript that didn't make it into the book, Dratch was recently cast in a pilot for NBC, shooting this spring. Now that her story has a happy ending, is Dratch concerned about her baby son Eli one day reading about her very strange trip to Burning Man or her brief stint dating a sex addict? "There's nothing really salacious in the book," she says. "I know that at some point Eli's going to read this, so I wanted to feel good about what's in there."

★ Girl Walks Into a Bar... is out March 29th via Gotham books.

Stylist: Luigi Tadini
Hair: Michael Anthony for Woon Salon woon.us
Makeup: Sarah Graalman for Diorshow
Rachel wears a dress by Screaming Mimi's.

Battleme's "Touch" Is Our Music Video of the Day

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The video for Battleme's "Touch" starts off mysteriously enough when singer Matt Drenik (whose falsetto can rival that of Barry Gibbs) escapes from an ambulance on a gurney and traverses empty city streets.  Before long, his ride gets the American Chopper-style treatment and pretty soon he's cruising in his new gurney-meets-hot rod.  Things get weird before there's a big reveal -- we won't spoil the ending but it's a fun watch to be sure.

Battleme started in 2009 when Matt Drenik (then frontman of Austin-based band Lions) found out he had uvetis, an auto immune disease that affects the eyes and is the fourth leading cause of blindness.  Following his diagnosis, Drenik reassessed his life and his music and "fell in love all over again with the songs on the Rolling Stone's Sticky Fingers, Beck's Mellow Gold and Flaming Lips' Clouds Taste Metallic."  With a new outlook, he decided to experiment with a different sound and created what would become Battleme.  His eponymous debut album comes out on April 24.




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